I deeply love her, but I'm unsure of how to continue this relationship?

Hello, I'm Shu Yiqingzheng. I'd like to share my thoughts and support you.

You've met a great girl. You've had many good times together. Well done!

However, relationships are also painful and conflicted. You hope they'll be happy and free of arguments.

Hug you again.

Let's look at the expectation of "have a safe journey."

We have many expectations when we want a good relationship. Satir's theory says there are three parts to expectations: expectations of oneself, expectations of the other person, and the other person's expectations of oneself.

If expectations become obsessive, there will be a pursuit of perfection. This can drive bad parts of the individual.

Demanding a perfect life for yourself makes you lose your sense of self. You want your partner to revolve around you to satisfy your unnoticed parts.

Or they need their partner to praise them a lot to make up for their own shortcomings.

Be aware of your feelings and needs. What do you expect from her?

We need to understand her feelings and expectations to deal with conflicts in the relationship.

It's not enough to hope for a simple solution. We need to actively grow and learn to give each other gentle, tolerant attention and love.

So, try lowering expectations, accept a little noise, and grow yourself. Nourish your relationship with love.

02. When it's cold, hedgehogs huddle for warmth. If they get too close, they'll be pricked, so they move apart.

If they are too far apart, they feel cold, so they move closer.

The two hedgehogs found an optimal distance where they would neither get cold nor get hurt. This is the famous "hedgehog effect."

This story shows the problem of intimacy between people. We want to be close to others, but we are also afraid of getting too close.

Intimacy means two people are too close, with no space between them. This makes people feel powerless and trapped.

People need to set boundaries, even with those they love.

When there are conflicts, we should try to understand and accept each other and communicate well.

A wife and husband play chess. The wife says her horse is a thoroughbred, her rook can turn corners, her cannon is an anti-aircraft gun, her pawns are special forces, and her bishop is Dumbo the Elephant.

The wife became an undercover agent and won her husband over. Then she went to do the laundry while he tidied up and drank tea.

After reading the story, I have many compliments for the wife and husband.

I admire their emotional intelligence and ways of getting along with others. Are you affected by their warmth?

Alfred Adler, the founder of individual psychology, said that all human troubles come from relationships.

Every family has problems. We can help ourselves by learning to communicate better.

The author of "The Art of Communication" says we need to adjust, express ourselves, and build relationships to have good relationships and communicate well.

The book is divided into three parts about relationships.

Look inward to understand yourself, your role, perceptions, and emotions in communication.

Look at what the other person is saying and how they are saying it.

In relationships, focus on the other person, not their actions. Work on the relationship, communication, and conflict resolution.

Think about the problems you're having in your relationship. Use the author's methods to express your feelings and needs to the other person. Be kind, so she knows you care.

Reading can help us think for ourselves and improve our minds. It's a good idea to read some psychology books on personal growth and family relationships.

Books like "The Courage to Be Disliked," "The Art of Communication," and "Intimacy: The Soul Mate."

I love you and hope to help.

I'm a heart exploration coach at One Psychology. Click "Find a Coach" to continue the conversation.

Good day, landlord. I hope my response proves useful to you.

It is not uncommon for couples to engage in frequent arguments, particularly during the initial stages of a relationship. It is essential to grasp the four stages of a relationship and to differentiate between positions and needs in conflicts. This enables us to navigate emotional entanglements effectively and to avoid being sidetracked by arguments, thereby achieving a harmonious and fulfilling intimate relationship.

We will now examine the four stages of a relationship.

The development of an intimate relationship typically progresses through four stages, each with distinct characteristics and potential risks.

The initial period of passion.

The passion period represents the initial stage of intimacy, during which it is most probable that the relationship will evolve into a marriage of convenience. During this phase, individuals tend to perceive only positive attributes in their partner and are driven to temporarily present themselves as the ideal lover in their partner's eyes. Despite this positive sentiment, it is merely a dopamine-induced effect that can last for approximately three to six months, or at most one year. Consequently, the positive feelings experienced during this stage are transient and insufficient to sustain a long-lasting and happy marriage. Following this, the relationship progresses to the period of adjustment.

The second stage is the adjustment period.

2. The period of adjustment.

The period of adjustment, that is, the conflict stage of the development of intimacy, is a period when all emotional problems emerge. During this period, passion has diminished, issues between partners have become apparent, our idealised vision of love has been confronted with reality, and the other person has changed from someone we like to someone we dislike, thus challenging the intimacy.

It is also during this period that each party requires an increasing amount of independent time, with a corresponding reduction in dependence.

You have identified areas for improvement in your respective approaches. If you believe that these differences are irreconcilable and that the other party should change, and if the other party also expects you to change, it is easy to create conflict and contradictions, which may ultimately result in a breakdown in the relationship.

You have identified your respective shortcomings. If you believe that these conflicts are irreconcilable, you may be inclined to change the other person, and the other person may also desire a change in you. This can easily result in the triggering of conflicts and contradictions, which may ultimately lead to a breakup.

It is therefore evident that the period of adjustment represents the most challenging stage in a relationship.

The third stage is the introspective period.

3. Introspection period.

Once a relationship has survived the initial trial period, it is likely to enter a phase of introspection. This is the beginning of a process of self-reflection, whereby the focus shifts from the other person's problems to an examination of one's own internal patterns and issues. This may include gaining insight into one's own internal patterns, understanding one's role and responsibility in intimate relationships, and exploring one's capacity for change. This period is crucial for personal growth and relationship reconstruction.

The fourth stage is the enlightenment period.

4. Enlightenment period.

This stage is also referred to as the "enlightenment stage," during which the two partners begin to connect with each other on a spiritual level. At this stage, we finally learn to embrace each other with love, and the other partner is willing to fully accept their own childhood shadows and learn to embrace their inner child. As a result, the intimacy enters a higher and deeper stage.

This stage is also referred to as the enlightenment stage, during which the two partners begin to connect on a spiritual level. At this stage, we learn to embrace each other with love, and the other person is willing to fully accept their own childhood experiences and embrace their inner child. As a result, the level of intimacy reaches a higher and deeper state, which is the level of intimacy we are discussing.

It is important to note that not all relationships have reached this level of maturity. While it is not an easy process, it is essential for both partners to work towards this direction in order to move forward together.

Understanding the stages of intimacy will help you understand that problems and conflicts are inevitable in a relationship. The key is not to avoid conflicts, but to learn how to resolve them. It is prudent to enter into a marriage only after both partners have the ability to resolve problems, because even though relationships and marriages both have a period of adjustment, the situation in marriage is much more complicated.

Indeed, when couples transition from the passionate period of being in love to the period of constant arguments, they often find that the differences that seemed inconsequential in the heat of passion become very noticeable. For example, they may find that seemingly trivial issues, such as how to squeeze toothpaste or whether the toilet seat should be up or down, become significant sources of conflict.

As relationships progress from the infatuated stage to a more contentious phase, the differences that were previously overlooked become more apparent. Minor issues, such as toothpaste application, toilet seat usage, bathroom hygiene, and domestic chores, can escalate into significant disagreements. Prolonged conflict over such trivial matters can severely damage the relationship and lead to its dissolution.

How, then, should these conflicts be resolved?

How can these conflicts be resolved?

I would like to present to you a tool which I believe will be of benefit in this situation. It is a tool which allows one to distinguish between positions and needs. I am confident that using this tool will help you to focus on the interests and needs that the two people have in common, rather than on the issue of whose position is right and whose is wrong.

I would like to present a tool which I believe will be of benefit to you. It is a method of distinguishing between positions and needs. I am confident that this tool will help you to focus on the interests and needs that the two people have in common, rather than on the issue of whose position is right and whose is wrong.

In fact, the positions of both parties are akin to the tips of two icebergs that have emerged above the water. They may seem irreconcilable, but in reality, their interests and needs are intertwined and require our attention.

In fact, the positions of both parties are akin to the tips of two icebergs that have emerged above the water. They may seem irreconcilable, but in reality, their interests and needs are intertwined and require our attention.

It is often the case that, despite initial appearances, there is a way to find common ground and reach a mutually beneficial solution. By understanding the underlying needs of the other party, it becomes possible to identify a path forward that is satisfactory for all parties involved.

To illustrate, consider a scenario where one partner becomes angry when the other immediately checks their phone as soon as they arrive home. While the angry partner may appear to be unhappy about the other person checking their phone, their underlying need is for the other person to spend more time with them, pay more attention, and respond to them.

If the individual viewing the phone only acknowledges the other person's perspective and asserts that they are on the phone because they are working, a dispute may arise regarding whose position is valid.

If the individual viewing the phone at this time can identify the other person's needs and respond promptly, stating, "I have some urgent work to attend to, but it will only take approximately 30 minutes. After I'm done, I'll be available for a discussion, if you'd like," I believe the conflict will immediately be resolved.

It would be beneficial for the agitated party to express their needs in a clear and direct manner. For example, "Dear, you've been on your phone since you got home, and I feel a bit lost. Can you talk to me now? I need you to pay more attention to me."

This allows us to identify and meet each other's needs, which helps to prevent conflict.

Furthermore, it is important to learn how to deal with the narrowing effect when emotions are running high.

The narrowing effect refers to the fact that when an individual is under the influence of intense emotions (such as fear or anger), their focus narrows significantly, leading to a tendency to fixate on a specific detail or point. This narrowing of the field of vision and perception can result in an inclination to act on immediate inner needs, potentially leading to impulsive behaviors that may not align with long-term goals.

Neurophysiologists have discovered that when an individual is in a narrowing state, their body secretes specific chemicals that drive them to express anger. In other words, people under the narrowing effect find it challenging to resist all the impulses in front of them, and are controlled by their physical and emotional instincts. Attempting to resist and restrain using reason is likely to be counterproductive.

It is therefore evident that when we are particularly angry, attempting to reason with the other party will often prove ineffective. Furthermore, if emotional issues remain unresolved, those who attempt to reason with the other party may even appear more irritating.

What is the recommended course of action at this juncture?

In order to achieve this, we must undertake two key actions:

1. Stay aware: The most effective way to regulate emotions is to remain conscious of them, to understand your emotional state, and thereby avoid impulsive actions that you will regret. How can you maintain self-awareness?

One simple method is to focus on your breathing. When emotions start to rise and you begin to feel overwhelmed, your breathing will typically become rapid. At this point, take a few minutes to calm your breathing and identify where your body is feeling tense. This is an effective way to relax.

2. Cautionary Statement: If you are self-aware and perceive that the situation is not optimal, or there is no opportunity to make immediate adjustments, you may choose to inform the other party directly, "I am experiencing some emotional distress and may require a brief period to compose myself. Could you kindly allow me a few minutes to regroup?"

"Alternatively, you may indicate that you require a moment to use the restroom or to collect your thoughts in a separate space. This will inform the other party and provide you with a brief opportunity to regroup."

This approach can also be applied to other individuals who may be experiencing a narrow state.

1. Listen actively to gain a clear understanding of the other person's actual needs.

If you can identify and respond to the other person's emotions before or during a conflict, you can resolve the majority of the issue. During this process, it is important to learn to actively listen. How do we listen?

When listening, observe the other person's body language and expressions, attempt to discern their emotions, and comprehend their emotional state at that time. If you can delve deeper and ascertain the underlying reasons for their emotional state and identify their inner needs, you can then utilize the previously mentioned method of distinguishing between positions and needs to address the situation effectively.

2. Establish control over the pace of the interaction by initially focusing on emotional appeal, then transitioning to logical reasoning.

It is only by first addressing the other person's emotions that reasoning can become a reality. Given that people in a narrowing effect will perceive time as slowing down, it is important not to rush when dealing with emotions. Instead, sufficient time and patience should be allocated to listening, or to gradually releasing the emotions of the other person through effective questioning.

Once emotions have subsided, problems will be resolved in a timely manner.

When we can think outside the box, stop being limited by our own positions, and stop arguing about right and wrong, we can look beyond the surface and see the other person's real needs. If you are truly willing to satisfy the other person's needs with deep affection, and the other person is also willing to see your needs and satisfy your needs, then you have already understood the true meaning of happiness, and your intimate relationship will continue to improve.

Love is a pure emotion, while relationships require management and nurturing. May you both continue to grow in your relationship, support each other, nourish each other, and become happier and happier!

Question owner:

Hello! It seems like you have a love-hate relationship that is hard to handle. Is this not very painful?

You chose to be together despite differences. You have been through a lot and stuck together. That shows your relationship is strong.

Almost every couple argues. What do you argue about?

Do you both want the same thing? Or do you need to think about it?

Two people with different views will sometimes argue. This is normal because it helps you understand each other better. It also helps you grow together and become more compatible.

Arguing is not bad, but what you gain from it. If you argue, you both lose confidence.

From your description, I can still feel your attachment to this relationship. Perhaps we can try to do the following: 1. Respect each other, accept individual differences, and don't try to change the other person. 2. When problems arise, deal with each other's emotions first. If it's not the right time, give each other some space first and tell the other person that we'll think about it and communicate later.

3. Learn to communicate correctly. Read "Nonviolent Communication." 4. Lower your expectations and add novelty.

5. Find out if you still support each other in this relationship.

It's hard to meet in a crowd! I wish you happiness!

Thanks!

Greetings.

Despite frequent disagreements, the couple is reluctant to separate. The question arises: What actions must be taken to ensure the relationship's success?

The question then becomes: How can a relationship be maintained to last? From this passage, it can be seen that the questioner has already made a choice—to be together. The objective, therefore, is to ascertain how to manage an intimate relationship.

Initially, intimacy is attracted to each other due to the differences between each other. The aspects of the other person that attract us may be personality, abilities, appearance, or qualities. These qualities may be those we aspire to but do not yet possess.

Due to the initial attraction between partners, they will tend to focus their attention on each other, learn about their interests and hobbies, and engage in activities that align with their interests. This can foster a sense of connection and shared understanding between the two individuals. In other words, they will seek to identify common ground, increase their mutual understanding, form a positive impression of each other, and establish trust.

The attraction to differences (complementarity) and the love of familiarity represent the most beautiful stage of love. During this stage, both parties strive to present their best selves to the other, and the halo effect also occurs. This occurs because when one likes a certain aspect of the other person, one thinks that person is one's ideal partner.

As the relationship matures and intimacy deepens, the discrepancies between partners become more apparent, leading to the emergence of conflicts. This transition marks the shift from the passionate stage of emotion to the ideal attachment stage, which can result in significant distress when the relationship ends.

At this juncture, if the relationship is to persist, it must be cultivated with care and attention. In this regard, I believe that the book "The Five Languages of Love" can be a valuable resource for the questioner.

It is possible to maintain a relationship in the following ways:

(1) Acceptance of each other's shortcomings is essential.

One should love another person not because of their positive attributes, but because of their tolerable shortcomings. If a person is not perfect in some ways, but one is willing to accept them, then a relationship may continue. Once a decision to be in a relationship has been made, it is necessary to accept the other person's shortcomings or to quietly do the things that the other person does not do well.

(2) Cultivate the ability to be alone.

As the relationship progresses and enters the attachment stage, the two partners begin to desire their own space and time apart. They recognize the need to cultivate their own interests and hobbies, and to avoid the sense of emptiness and loneliness that arises when the other person is not around to keep them company.

(3) Permit the other person to maintain their individual identity.

It is imperative not to anticipate that one's partner will adhere to one's own preferences and conduct. Each individual possesses a distinctive approach to life, and it is essential to respect this. One must permit one's partner to pursue their own path.

Some partners exhibit controlling behaviors and expect their partners to adhere to their own habits. These individuals are unaware that their habits are shaped by their upbringing and are not easily alterable.

Naturally, if one is truly in love with another person, one will alter one's own behavior in order to accommodate the other's needs. This allows for the avoidance of conflict and the fostering of a harmonious relationship.

(4) Cease the power struggle

"Cold war" and "blacklisting" are illustrative of power struggles in a relationship. It is possible for both parties to agree that, regardless of circumstances, they will not engage in extreme actions such as "blacklisting" or a cold war that persists for more than a day. For a relationship to endure, there will be instances when each party must concede to the other. Otherwise, one party may gain the upper hand, leading to the dissolution of the relationship.

(5) Attempt to accept the other person's life beliefs.

Given the discrepancies between the two parties' original familial environments, it is plausible that their patterns of interaction with parents and siblings may diverge. Attempts at adaptation could potentially facilitate a broader comprehension of familial dynamics.

Furthermore, the interests of the two parties may diverge. It is possible to attempt to accept each other's hobbies or cultivate the same interests as each other, which could result in an expansion of the scope of one's own life.

(6) The Five Languages of Love

Affirmations, thoughtful gestures, gifts, acts of service, and physical contact are examples of behaviors that can be employed to demonstrate affection and connection.

It is my hope that this information will prove useful. Sincerely,

Hello, question asker!

I've read your question and I understand how confused, bewildered, and helpless you must feel right now. I'm here for you!

It's been two years, which isn't too long. The toughest part is that she's been there for you through the toughest times, supporting you all the way. It's rare to find a friend like that, and it's made things tricky for you. You were head over heels, but now you're stuck in a rut. Moving forward, you don't know how to find the confidence; moving backward, you absolutely can't bear to let go.

It's unfortunate that relationships often have complications. If they didn't, love would be endless and confusing. This is something that should be addressed during the relationship stage. It's not just you and her who have encountered this situation. Anyone who encounters it will find the problems very entangled and intertwined.

After reading your question, I thought you'd probably be pretty good at dealing with this issue, given that you're outgoing and proactive. How can you tell me all about it and explain it clearly? I was thinking, is there a conflict? You'll always have to find a way to solve it in the future.

From what you've said, it seems like your girlfriend is very introverted and not great at expressing herself. This might mean that when problems come up, she's more likely to avoid them and withdraw because she doesn't know how to express herself in a way that will help things move in the direction she wants. When you keep having the same conflicts and then try to resolve them, you might start to feel a bit annoyed. We all know that sometimes, no matter what we do, we'll hit a wall. Reaching this wall is like hitting a bottleneck. You can only move past this stage once you've done that, and then things will start to get better.

So, my take is that you're stuck in a rut, but if you can make it through this phase, things will start looking up. And I genuinely believe you can do it.

You're actively reaching out because of your pain and know you need to find a solution, not avoid it. You're here for help. This means you've taken your conflict with your partner to the next level. You're aware of your situation. With awareness comes the beginning of healing. Plus, your current healing has truly taken the path of science.

I think you can find a good fit for you here through different options, and I'll also use this platform to talk to you about what I think is the best one for you!

First of all, I think you should accept that you have been having repeated conflicts with your significant other, deleting each other's accounts, and then getting back together again. This is not a stage that every couple has to go through, but it is a stage that more than 90% of couples have to go through. It is not scary to have conflicts, but how to resolve them is important. Since you have been able to resolve all the previous conflicts and still be together today, it proves that you really are as difficult to leave as you say. So, don't think too much about it, just resolve the conflicts as they arise. Don't be pessimistic and disappointed after a conflict, but treat him with a calm heart.

Second, you're an outgoing person, so I think you should know that after spending the past two years with her, she feels the same way about you. So I think you should work on your own sense of security. I don't know about your sense of security, but it includes several aspects, doesn't it? Apart from spending time with him?

There are other ways to feel secure, like maintaining your future home or getting along with each other. I think your father's focus is on improving his ability to live his life, right?

Finally, I just wanted to remind you that these things need to be done slowly and carefully. There's a saying, "Haste makes waste." You need to believe that what belongs to you, no one can take away. You have to believe this. With this confidence, if you persist, you will definitely be able to handle your relationship well.

If you really can do it, pay more attention to yourself and improve your abilities, you may be able to deal with the geographical differences between you, the cultural differences, and the differences in personality!

This will make your future together better. I don't think it means you won't argue at all, but rather that we are not afraid of conflicts and will resolve them in a reasonable way!

If you have time, I'd recommend reading the books Intimacy and Nonviolent Communication. They're great for improving interpersonal communication skills. You can also seek counseling from a psychologist, which can help you get back on the path to a beautiful life more quickly.

I hope you and your partner can enjoy the sweetness of love and the beauty of marriage amidst the chaos! I love you and the world!

Hello, I'm Gu Yi. I tend to be modest and self-effacing, and I try to be consistent.

From what I have read about the emotional challenges you are facing with your girlfriend, I can understand the confusion you are experiencing. It is true that all relationships require some degree of management, regardless of their nature.

It is important to try to understand, accept and embrace the differences between yourself and your girlfriend.

It can be challenging for many of us to devote ourselves wholeheartedly to love. In today's world, love often comes with many expectations and conditions. For a relationship to flourish, it's important to recognize that we must be our best selves to deserve love. If we approach love with this mindset and expect to be treated with love in return,

People are shaped by their environment. Different regional cultures influence people's ways of thinking and living habits in various ways. If living habits can be adjusted, the way of thinking may present a challenge in communication. However, this is not an insurmountable issue. Different ways of thinking can lead to conflicts and also spark creativity. You and your girlfriend may not be particularly proactive individuals, which could create a gap in the dominant position in this relationship. At this time, it would be helpful to choose a communication method that you can both accept to face and solve such problems.

Over time, differences in lifestyle and thought processes can lead to challenges in our intimate relationships. However, with time and effort, we can develop a way of getting along that suits us, that is unique and suitable for us. We can look to our environment and culture for guidance, and we can also work to improve ourselves within that cultural environment. By reading more widely, we can broaden our minds, become more open to accepting differences, and gain a deeper understanding of how to navigate the various challenges we encounter.

How might one go about managing a relationship?

It is important to remember that regardless of the type of relationship, maintaining it in the long term requires effort. Many people find it challenging to maintain relationships, and they often hope that they will be the one being loved. In particular, girls tend to be more sensitive than boys and require more affection.

For this reason, it would be beneficial for the boyfriend to take on a leading role in guiding and maintaining the relationship.

Love is a two-way street. A long-term one-way relationship can become tiresome and may cause us to lose sight of ourselves. A good relationship is one where both parties are invested. When we encounter a lack of initiative from the other person, it's important to be patient and offer guidance. We can hope that our ability to love will encourage our girlfriend to open up, take the initiative, and become more active in the relationship.

The relationship between Qian Zhongshu and Yang Jiang is affirmed and loved by many people, and their way of getting along with each other is also a role model for many people to learn from. Even the small conflicts and setbacks in relationships and life can be seen as opportunities for growth and understanding. Effective communication is key to navigating these challenges, and setting aside a fixed time within the week for communication can be beneficial.

If there is love in the heart, it is likely that things will improve.

I wish you the best.

Hello!

I am a heart coach. Learning is the key to a healthy body.

From your description, I can tell you're in a lot of pain.

I won't go into the details of your problems with your girlfriend, but I will give you three pieces of advice.

First, think about why you argued more during the two years you were together.

What are you fighting about?

You said different personalities and cultural and regional differences may cause conflict.

Do you always have to win? Does one of you want to be in control? Does one of you try to change the other person? Find out what your arguments are about.

You can't stop arguing until you know why.

Second, think about why you argue.

A rational perspective helps you understand yourself and reality better.

To view things rationally, do the following:

People are different. True love means respecting each other's differences.

From your description, it seems you accept each other's differences. This shows you love each other, which is key to getting along.

Knowing about these differences before arguing is the first step to change.

It's normal for partners to argue. Make the arguments a positive way to understand each other.

You might think you should never argue, but this is hard. People living together will disagree sometimes. What we can do is make arguments help us understand each other, not fight.

Earlier, I asked you to think back on the reasons for your arguments, which include "power struggles." People are narcissistic and always think they are right. However, partners should not compete to see who is right because relationships are mainly about feelings.

When you understand that people are different and that it is normal to have arguments, you can work through them.

Think about how you can help your relationship grow.

When you think about why you argue, you can also think about what to do. Then, you focus on yourself and try your best.

Think back and see if you were arguing with her. If so, change first. Let go of your narcissism and excessive expectations of the other person. Love her for who she is. This will likely improve your relationship. You may think, "Why should I change first?" It's normal to think this way, but I want to say that asking you to change first is not to get a definite answer. It's to explore a new possibility for your relationship. Otherwise, your relationship will remain the same. It will be difficult to change. In a relationship, whoever is suffering more, whoever changes first, and you came here for help. You need to change first. It is relatively easy to change yourself.

Talk to her about the problem. Listen to her. This will help your relationship.

Read the book "How to Argue Properly." You can learn something that will help you improve the situation.

Talk to friends and family members who have better relationships with their partners. Learn from their experiences and see how they get along. This can help you improve your relationship.

Taking action can help you feel better.

I hope this helps. Click "Find a coach" at the bottom to talk one-on-one.

Hello, and thank you so much for your kind invitation and for placing your trust in me.

How can we keep our love/how-to-grow-into-a-good-intimate-relationship-at-the-age-of-32-8175.html" target="_blank">relationships strong and happy? I think this is something many couples struggle with. When we first start dating, we're so caught up in the excitement and hormones that we don't always see each other's flaws. Everything seems perfect to us, so we don't think about our own shortcomings. But as time goes on, we start to disagree on little things and arguments start to happen.

It's so easy to get caught up in an argument when you love someone. It's because you want the other person to be exactly what you want them to be. You want them to be everything you dreamed of. It's a beautiful thing, but it can also be a bit overwhelming. You're giving so much of yourself, and you want to be loved in return. You want to feel loved and accepted. You want to feel like your love is enough. But, what do you really want in return? Is it just a feeling? Or is it something more concrete?

For example, if the other person accepts your love, what do you think they should give in return? Maybe a thank you, or cooperation and obedience in action; or even physical intimacy as a reward!

It can be tough to love someone when you have conditions and demands for reciprocation. It's natural to want to be loved and to love in return, but when expectations are involved, it can lead to conflict. When your partner doesn't meet your expectations, it's only human to feel disappointed or to express your feelings. However, this can sometimes lead to hurt feelings or even resentment.

This kind of love can sometimes come across as demanding, and it can cause pain when it's expressed in ways like jealousy, suspicion, and possessiveness. It's natural to want to possess everything about the other person, including their time, actions, and even their thoughts. But when this love becomes all about me or it can only be done my way, it can feel a bit imprisoning.

If you show your love in a subtle way, hoping that the other person will value you, and expecting love in return, the two of you may get along just fine. But let's be honest, how can two people with different backgrounds, personalities, and levels of education possibly agree on everything?

So, how do you get along and keep the relationship going? I'm happy to share some advice on this topic!

First, it's so important to let your partner know how you feel about her, let her know how you feel about her, and let her know that you'll always be there for her. It's so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day and forget to express yourself in a bold way. But showing your love for her will keep the spark alive!

Secondly, life is all about romance and having little rituals together. You can give your partner a gift on certain holidays, or do something romantic. It's also a great idea to make time for each other as a couple.

Don't let the little things in life get in the way of your love life! You can go out and have fun together, take a walk, chat, do the things lovers do, watch a movie, etc. Or do what the other person likes, find out what the other person needs, meet the other person's needs, and create some romance or little surprises.

Third, try lowering your expectations of the other person and directly expressing your needs. Rather than using arguments to make the other person understand what you want, try directly expressing your needs. For example, you could say something like, "I need the other person's care. I've been feeling really sad lately because..."

Oh, it's so sad! Do you think you could buy me something to make up for my broken heart?

I think it would be better to express it in a different way, don't you?

Above all, no matter what happens, support each other, understand each other, respect each other, and don't say "break up" easily. It's so important to be responsible for your relationship. Responsibility is the attitude you have towards your relationship and the way you deal with relationship problems. These are the foundations of a long-lasting relationship. It includes not only supporting and understanding each other in life and work, but also giving each other some space, trusting each other unconditionally, and always supporting each other no matter what happens.

In summary, if you really love each other, let the other person experience it. Sometimes love is actually very simple, and sometimes it just needs a word or action. Think about whether you haven't expressed your love to your lover for a long time. You can say, "I love you," or simply, "Take care of yourself. I've been waiting for those words, and they can make the other person feel your love."

I really hope this helps the person who asked the question. I wish you 999 love hearts! ??

Intense emotions are part and parcel of intimate relationships. You are attracted to each other, engage in deep contact, and trigger all kinds of feelings. There are arguments, sweetness, and bitterness, but passion can also wear you out over time. At this point, you probably crave tranquility even more. I don't know if you have ever had a moment when you looked at each other and felt content without having to say much. If not, you need to take the initiative to create it. If you have, then just recall that moment like you would when you receive your paycheck, find a place where you can relax and focus on the good things about the other person to offset the friction and unease in real life.

I know that if a relationship is to last, one person must always be patient and dedicated. You might think it's you who has to give in, but if you want the relationship to last, you have to be patient and dedicated in the relationship, be friendly and tolerant, and cherish the close connection as if the other person will leave you tomorrow.

Regarding the frequent arguments you mentioned, I think about it, and I think you may still argue from time to time in the future, but you can change the core of it. It may seem like an argument, but inside you are happy and grateful. First, in terms of understanding, you can look at it from the perspective of this being a way for you to enhance your understanding and face life's difficulties together, rather than blaming and attacking each other. This will calm your anger a little, and you won't let yourself get angry and say things to vent, which won't help the relationship last. Second, just as when you were at school and needed to reflect on and practice the problems you encountered when doing your homework, you also need to reflect on the friction between the two of you from time to time. Instead of blaming the other person, you should look for the mistakes in yourself, and then think about your own beautiful expectations for the relationship. First, you need to calm yourself down, and then further, make the other person happy too. The specific methods are up to you to think about and act on. I wish you well.