I did something for my colleague, and all she said was nice things. Does she think I'm stupid?

Hello!

At the end of your story, you mentioned feeling "unexplained anger." I can imagine that must have been a strong emotional reaction to this person.

It can be really tough to work with someone you don't get along with.

Let's go with the poster, find the good in ourselves, and find the happy thread behind the dark clouds.

It's totally normal to judge yourself sometimes. We all do it!

It's so common to feel like we're not good enough, isn't it? Even before we realize it, we've already judged ourselves. And it's so hard to break through that feeling, isn't it?

2. The tough choice between staying or going

"Deep down, she's quite honest" is more like a self-forgiveness. It's okay, we all have people in our lives who make us uncomfortable. Maybe this lady is someone who provokes your stress response. She may be similar to someone you have met in your life. The kind who takes advantage of others.

Option A: It's okay to have a colleague like this! You can assert yourself, communicate your interpersonal boundaries, and use non-violent communication to inform the other person of the part that makes you sad and exhausted. Just focus more on your own work and rhythm, and don't worry about it!

Option B: Keep on helping her, but try to keep your emotions in check.

It looks like you want to choose A, but you accidentally ended up with B, so you're a little confused about all the options and what to do next.

I'd love to hear what it means to you that others have said you're honest.

I totally get it. This feeling is self-consistent, right? Then your thinking will drive you to continue to be honest and do things.

I think it would be really helpful for you to think about a new journey to resolve your inner dilemma.

But deep down, you know you want to break free from the shackles within, to let your soul grow and thrive. It doesn't matter how old you are, you want to grow with a childlike heart and thrive.

I'm really happy to see that you've shared some of your feelings, including your anger. It's so important to remember that if we don't handle our anger in a healthy way, it can lead to us hurting ourselves. It seems like you're still holding back some of your feelings, but I'm here to help you work through them.

When you're on your own, it's a great idea to ask yourself a few questions.

What have you learned from your life experiences?

I'd love to know what you did when you got through a difficult situation in the past, and how you felt.

Take a moment to remind yourself of all the wonderful things you've done for yourself.

Hey there! I know you're feeling afraid and worried about whether you'll be treated like a fool. But you know what? You're not a fool. So let's ditch that idea!

You are such a kind, gentle person who deserves to shine brightly!

Dear question owner, It can be reasonably assumed that the text in question states, "In fact, I am genuinely honest," and "My colleagues perceive me as a highly honest individual." It is this exceptional character trait that distinguishes you from others.

As previously stated by the original poster:

From the text, "My view is that if people respect me one foot, I will respect them ten feet. But I don't want to be played for a fool!" it can be seen that the questioner is kind-hearted and hopes to find a solution. They try to get along well with others as a principle of reconciliation. Because everyone in life hopes that everything they give "is seen and discovered" in order to find the sense of achievement of their own existence, it is understandable that they often try very hard, doing everything themselves, but are ignored by others. This causes them to feel uncomfortable and sometimes feel aggrieved. Indeed, there are always people like this, some people have no bottom line when asking for things, whether it is in the workplace or in life. Such people are the most likely to make people ask for things endlessly. No matter how much you do for others, it will never satisfy their appetite.

The following section will delineate the optimal methodology for addressing a colleague who treats you in an unprofessional manner. The first step is to clarify the issue.

The initial rationale for pursuing self-improvement is as follows:

You have consistently demonstrated honesty and sincerity in your interactions with colleagues, which is commendable. However, it is important to assess whether these qualities are reciprocated. In some instances, a lack of personal relationship or other factors may influence the way colleagues interact with you.

In this world, the relationships between people are still very subtle. It is not advisable to become overly invested in these nuances. Instead, it is prudent to maintain one's personal boundaries and to be content with what is acceptable to one's own self. It is recommended that the questioner adjust their self-perception and maturity, as well as their attitude. The quality of "sincerity" is still quite rewarding, and the recognition and acceptance of others does not depend on one's intrinsic qualities or one's honesty, but rather on one's competence and the harmony of one's relationship. It is important to believe in one thing: if one's colleagues are not fools and one has the ability to maintain a positive relationship with each other, they will be able to see it.

If one is adamant about being correct, it is advisable to persevere.

Secondly, the rationale for seeking external assistance is as follows:

If one is treated in an unkind manner by colleagues, it is important to consider whether the behaviour is indicative of unfriendliness or if certain actions are causing discomfort. Additionally, when colleagues are in a bad mood, it is crucial to assess whether one should acknowledge the situation and greet them, or simply ignore the awkwardness and refrain from initiating a greeting.

It is also possible that a similar situation may be occurring. If so, others may perceive the individual in question as "honest," but only because they observe the outward symptoms. They may not view the individual as "stupid," but they may nonetheless be unable to maintain a healthy relationship with them.

2) The text indicates that the subject experiences an "inexplicable anger" when contemplating the old woman. This suggests the presence of an underlying resistance and the formation of a protective barrier against her, which may be the source of this intense emotion.

It would be beneficial to consider what events or circumstances may have transpired, or what significant obstacle may have been overcome, to elicit such a strong reaction from you in response to this individual. Additionally, in a professional setting, the dynamics between colleagues are often observable, and the manner in which they interact with others can be discerned. This allows for a comprehensive assessment of their character, determining whether they are benevolent or malevolent.

As long as a minimum level of mutual respect is maintained and there is no attempt to exploit others or to treat them in an unscrupulous manner, it is possible to continue to interact amicably. Conversely, if they treat you in a foolish manner, it is indicative of an underlying problem with their character. The decision to continue or terminate the relationship ultimately depends on one's ability to control the boundaries of the relationship and whether the latter is within one's tolerance.

An alternative approach would be to communicate with him directly and honestly. It is likely that colleagues do not hold significant animosity towards each other, and that there is no unbreakable bond. It would be beneficial to be kind and sincere, to focus on the issue rather than the person, to state the facts objectively, to avoid amplifying emotions, to refrain from making accusations or criticisms, and to aim for a more positive outcome for the relationship. This kind of heart-to-heart communication could be a productive avenue to explore.

The following section presents a series of recommendations for navigating relationships in the workplace. It is my hope that these suggestions will prove both instructive and inspiring.

(1) Learn to "refuse" kindly and set boundaries. For example, I recall an incident that occurred when I was first employed. There was an older employee who treated newcomers like a "father," consistently assisting them and offering guidance or responding to their requests. Over time, everyone became accustomed to his approach, and it became natural to seek his help and advice. When confronted with tasks they disliked, found challenging, or even responsibilities within their scope of work that they wished to avoid, they would flatter him and express their gratitude, hoping to gain his assistance. Consequently, he became the busiest individual in the workplace. At times, he functioned as a primary support system, assisting newcomers with tasks after regular work hours.

This behavior is likely due to a lack of previous refusal, as well as subsequent exposure to negative comments from newcomers, including derogatory labels and requests. It is possible to hypothesize that Ta could have refused with relative ease but instead continues to agree and is now even more occupied than the newcomers.

Does this phenomenon have a direct correlation with the establishment of boundaries and the division of labor?

2) It is unwise to be excessively naive in the workplace. The most fundamental principle of human existence is honesty, which is a correct assumption. However, honesty is not the same as naivety. It is not uncommon for honest individuals to be bullied, and in the end, it is mostly the honest people who suffer. To understand and perceive this phenomenon, it is necessary for the questioner to analyze and measure it themselves. Everyone's definition standards are different, as are the circumstances. There is no definitive answer.

3) It is advisable to refrain from engaging in financial transactions with colleagues, as this is also considered taboo in the workplace. The rationale behind this is that while it is relatively simple to obtain funds, it is often more challenging to repay them. Furthermore, the accumulation of minor issues over time can potentially lead to significant challenges when they reach a critical point. Therefore, it is prudent to avoid such situations. If one does engage in such activities and subsequently experiences a loss, it can lead to psychological discomfort or even be perceived by others as a lack of willingness to listen, which can also cause internal discomfort.

"To facilitate others is to facilitate oneself," it can be reasonably assumed.

4) It is imperative to maintain neutrality in the presence of colleagues, utilize cognitive processes to formulate responses, and only speak when one has something meaningful to contribute. This approach enables a more nuanced understanding of interpersonal dynamics and facilitates more effective communication. While it is not about avoiding engagement, it is about learning to engage thoughtfully. This is particularly crucial when it comes to business opportunities, where a measured approach is essential.

The objective is to achieve harmonious coexistence and mutual support.

It is my hope that the aforementioned responses will prove both helpful and inspiring to the individual who posed the initial question.

To Beimei, a listener on the Yixin platform, I extend my sincerest gratitude and appreciation.

Let's rephrase it and see what we discover. For example:

"I was an introvert as a child" becomes "I can be introverted sometimes."

"My character is not good" becomes "I get angry."

Write these sentences and see how you feel. This part is interactive.

The second part is about your colleagues, our life experiences, and growth stories. These teach us what is safe, what is "good," and what is "bad." Each point of view corresponds to a picture, which we cannot perceive. The vast majority of decisions in our lives are controlled by our subconscious. We are often in a state of disconnection from ourselves. We need to be aware and curious about what is happening around us and connect with ourselves.

Next, notice the images in your mind when your colleague speaks to you or when you behave in a certain way. Do you picture a scene or person? Do you link the person on the other side with the image in your mind? This is a process of becoming aware. The person or event in your mind may not be real, and it may still change.

Be curious about what's happening, why you feel this way, and where it comes from.

First, explore yourself, then try not to define others by your thoughts. See what happens. When we look at things from a human perspective, we gain wisdom and become more complete.

When we are stable, we can face problems. The problem is not the problem; solving it is.

Is there still anger? Breathe, stay in the moment, and connect with yourself.

Hope you're well!