I don't know how to repay the selfless help of the enthusiastic people, and I feel very guilty. What should I do?

Hello! I'm Chi Lu Zi, and I'm on a mission to grow and help myself and others in any way I can!

It's so inspiring to read your story! It's amazing to see how much warm, enthusiastic help and support you've received from so many kind people on the Yiyi platform. It's truly made you happy and feel enlightened. Reading your words fills my heart with joy!

But at the same time, you feel anxious and guilty. From your story, it mainly comes from the fact that you want to express your gratitude properly, but you are unable to do so due to energy issues. This conflict and contradiction make me feel your exhaustion and pain, but I know you can get through it!

When someone is kind to you, it's only natural to want to thank and repay them. After all, you want to reciprocate all that kindness! But if you don't thank and repay them, you might feel a bit anxious. That's because when someone is kind to us, we have this huge stone hanging in our hearts, wondering how to thank and repay them. We might even have a series of questions pending in our minds, like whether the gratitude is appropriate, whether it is too light or too heavy. But don't worry, there's no need to fret!

I don't know if the questioner is in a similar situation. If so, I seem to see my former self. In order to avoid this kind of conflict, I used to blindly reject the kindness of others, not easily accept gifts from others, and immediately return the favor if I accepted it; not easily accept help from others, and try to compensate for it if I accepted it, invite the person back if I was invited to dinner, or insist on paying for it, etc. This made me very tired and troubled. I couldn't help but ask why I was like this, so I asked my friends around me. I was very impressed. It was because of this conversation that I instantly felt open and began my own journey of change.

I was really excited to ask her, "When you usually receive gifts from others or are invited to dinner, do you feel pressured?"

She said, "Why would there be?"

I was really excited to ask her, "So you have to think about how to return it to others?"

"No, because other people are kind to me, and I have the ability to repay them!" she said with a smile.

She said it so confidently and with such conviction. At the time, I was blown away when I heard her last sentence. I felt a rush of envy, and at the same time, I finally understood why I had always felt pressure about other people treating me well. I was inspired to embark on my own journey of self-reflection and change.

For me, it was an incredible journey of learning to affirm my self-worth and feel empowered!

And for you?

I really hope that my own little story can give you food for thought and inspiration! So perhaps your confusion is not about not knowing how to repay someone's kindness, but rather to make us think beyond the event itself and consider why it gave you such a painful experience.

I truly believe that this reflection will be a seed with tenacity that will sprout, grow, and become stronger during your journey. It will then become an even more solid strength within you!

I really hope my response can give you warmth and support, just like the warm-hearted people in your story! But most of all, I really hope my words can give you strength!

Hello, my name is Zeyu.

Perhaps you could consider that by asking this question, you are already repaying the selfless help of the enthusiastic person. This may help to alleviate any feelings of guilt you may have.

We all have our own unique pursuits, values, and things that we consider important. It's not necessary to feel pressured to do something you're not comfortable with.

When you talk about your experience on the "One Mind platform" and the help you received, I will also feel happy inside, because we know that our answers are helpful to the person concerned. In fact, this also gives us a lot of support. It seems that the effect of strength is mutual, and the same is true of relationships.

You mentioned that you feel guilty and anxious inside, and you decide to do something in response to this kindness and help. It's admirable that you want to repay this kindness and help. However, as you said, our energy is limited, so we cannot repay everyone 100%. It's okay to admit that our ability is limited, accept this help, keep it in mind, and so on. When we have the opportunity to give back to those in need, that's just fine!

A simple thank you is not necessarily insincere, and a long speech is not necessarily heartfelt. Constant self-reflection can be painful, so it's important to reflect on and improve when necessary. We all have room for improvement!

We all have our flaws, so there's no need to put on a saintly persona. It's enough to be able to look at our conscience without guilt.

I believe that kindness is kindness because it does not require you to give anything, but is based on your heart and whether you are able to do so. In my opinion, the best response to kindness is to do what is right for you at the right time and pass on this kindness within your abilities.

I would like to take this opportunity to reiterate that I believe you have already done a very good job. If you still feel guilty, perhaps you could try to enjoy every day! I think that is the best way to repay kindness.

Hello, host! I'm smiling!

After reading your description, I totally get what you're asking. I'm sending you a big hug in four dimensions!

It's totally normal to have these thoughts, especially given the help you've received. It's only natural to feel grateful to those who've helped you, especially when your values encourage you to show appreciation. It's a tricky situation, though, when you feel like your thanks might come across as insincere.

You know, your thoughts show that you're a really kind person. People aren't looking for a reward for helping you. They just want to help you see the problem from a different perspective. And you said you'd think about and respond to everyone's suggestions. So, you're already doing a great job! Trust the respondents. It'll make them happy to see that you're grateful. And it'll show you're not just going through the motions.

I think it's also worth mentioning that your current behavior might be a little bit obsessive-compulsive. I'm not saying you have OCD, but it's good to be aware of the symptoms. Obsessive-compulsive disorder is when you have obsessive thoughts, compulsive urges, or compulsive behaviors that keep coming back.

You know in your heart that these ideas and behaviors are unnecessary and against your will, but you just can't seem to get rid of them. It's so hard to feel at peace when we're carrying these burdens, isn't it?

I've also put together a few tips to help you feel better, and I really hope they help!

(1) It's so important to face your innermost thoughts and not avoid them too much. In other words, find the reason for your guilt and anxiety, because only in this way can the problem be solved fundamentally.

(2) The great thing is, most people don't expect anything in return for the help they give to others. So, don't stress so much! Putting too much pressure on yourself will only make you feel bad.

(3) It's totally normal to care about what others think. We all do! But there's no need to care about everything. Remember, you and others are two different people, and all you can do is reduce the impact of such things on you.

(4) Try to take your mind off things for a bit. If you can't get out of this situation in a short time, do something that interests you instead.

(5) Take a deep breath and try to relax. It's totally normal to feel nervous or anxious, but try not to let it make you feel worse. Instead, be grateful for the help you're getting and know that the people helping you will be happy to know you appreciate it.

I love you, and so does the world! ?

Take care, my dear!

Greetings, inquirer. My name is Jia'ao, and I have no ulterior motives.

I have carefully read your confessions and concerns on the platform. You appear to be a grateful individual, and I hold you in high regard.

You previously posed a question on the Yi Xinli platform and received numerous responses and assistance from enthusiastic answerers. Their comprehension and support made you feel particularly grateful, yet you are uncertain about how to reciprocate. Expressing gratitude seems inadequate, yet you lack the time and energy to provide feedback to each individual. This leads to feelings of guilt and distress. How should you cope with such negative emotions?

I am uncertain as to how I might adequately reciprocate the assistance of these enthusiastic individuals, and I feel a profound sense of guilt.

In order to respond to your query, it is necessary to undertake a process of analysis and classification.

[Consider the matter from a rational perspective]

As a consequence of posing a question on the platform and receiving responses and assistance from numerous benevolent individuals, you should experience a sense of satisfaction. However, you have now introduced an element of complexity to the situation. You have begun to impose expectations on yourself, namely that of repaying the individuals who have provided you with assistance. I am also a member of the platform's answering community, and our original objective was to offer as much assistance as possible to those who require it.

In the process of assisting others in their interactions, both parties stand to gain. The questioner gains access to the methods and suggestions they desire, while the answerer gains the satisfaction of helping others. Consequently, there is no expectation of any form of compensation from the questioner. There is no cause for anxiety or guilt. Those who have provided assistance should all adhere to the same principles. After all, "giving someone a rose leaves its fragrance on your hands." On occasion, a sincere reply or feedback is sufficient to elicit satisfaction from the answerer. It may be reasonably assumed that the answerers on our platform are all sincere and kind.

[Objective and Correct Perception]

To resolve feelings of guilt, it is essential to identify the underlying cause. Is it due to moral principles or conscience? Those who experience guilt must possess kindhearted and considerate character traits.

It is essential to establish the correct perception: one does not owe anyone anything, and the people who help you do so of their own free will. This is analogous to me writing you a reply word by word right now, without any thought of gain or loss. The objective is to help you answer your questions and resolve your doubts. It is crucial not to let a sense of guilt affect you, and not to worry about what the people who help you might think of you. This is an unlikely occurrence. It is necessary to try to let go of the feeling of guilt.

[Establish a positive connection]

It is beneficial to express gratitude to those who have provided assistance. The other person will be pleased to receive your acknowledgment and does not require additional rewards.

Furthermore, the greatest reward is the capacity to extend kindness and compassion to others in need. When one encounters an individual in a situation requiring assistance, it is imperative to offer assistance. It is essential to provide support and assistance to those in need in one's daily life, thereby fostering a sense of love and warmth, and ensuring that this warmth is perpetuated, allowing more individuals to experience the immense love and beauty that exists in the world.

[Accept your emotions as they are]

The fact that you would inquire about this demonstrates that you are a sincere and benevolent individual who is accustomed to reciprocating when others offer assistance. You perceive that if you do not do so, your conscience will be troubled. This illustrates that you are a person who is particularly concerned about the feelings of others. I am aware that even after I have provided you with extensive guidance, you will still feel a desire to repay them, otherwise your conscience will not permit you to let go of this matter. In that case, it would be advisable to simply acknowledge your emotions. Just do what you believe in your heart, even if it is a minor act. If you wish to do so, just do it and express it in your own way. Combine your own time and energy, but remember to care for your emotions and feelings, and do not be excessively harsh on yourself for others.

[Eliminate mental depletion]

The longer this matter is postponed, the greater the burden it will place on your psyche. You will dwell on a multitude of imaginings, and your ability to conceal your thoughts is limited. In the future, you may wish to pursue further studies in psychology to fortify your psychological resilience and enhance your interpersonal communication abilities. This will prove invaluable when you are uncertain of the optimal course of action. At the very least, it can assist you in resolving internal conflicts, overcoming your mental impediments, and preventing self-sabotage. This will facilitate a swift resolution to your current predicament and enable you to navigate future challenges with greater ease. Adopting a fresh perspective can also prove enlightening. I extend my sincerest wishes for your success.

It is my sincere hope that this response is of some assistance. I extend my best wishes to you and to the world at large.

Good morning, Dear questioner,

I commend you for your gratitude and desire to reciprocate.

It is not uncommon to feel a desire to repay or express gratitude when one has received assistance from another individual or entity.

If you are experiencing feelings of guilt associated with receiving assistance from others, I would be pleased to discuss these concerns and offer guidance.

1. Adopt a more open-minded approach towards those you help.

As a result of posing a question on this platform and receiving responses from numerous benevolent individuals, you have experienced a positive outcome. However, you have set exceedingly high standards for yourself and believe that you should reciprocate their assistance.

I would like to take this opportunity to share with you the following:

The individual providing assistance can also benefit from the process of helping others.

It is an interactive process.

If it is of benefit to you, the individual responding also fulfills their psychological need to provide assistance, thereby eliminating the necessity for feelings of anxiety or guilt.

This is the principle of "what goes around comes around."

In business, it is important to recognize that no one operates in isolation.

Assisting one another is a commendable practice in itself.

There are occasions when we are the ones who require assistance, and there are also times when we are the ones who provide it.

This is not a fixed procedure.

One can provide feedback or express gratitude in a straightforward manner.

Even if no reply is forthcoming, you can thank the other party in your own mind.

It is crucial to ensure that you gain something from the other person's response.

2. How can you alleviate your feelings of guilt?

The initial step is to identify the underlying cause of your guilt, as your conscience will require this information.

They adhere to the principle of acting in accordance with their conscience.

"A healthy sense of guilt not only improves our understanding of conscience, but also motivates us to behave in a more mature way towards others."

It is not necessary to eliminate the feeling of guilt entirely; rather, it is important to ensure that it does not have a negative impact on our actions and decisions.

Furthermore, it is important to understand that we do not have any obligations to others.

Those who provide assistance do so on a voluntary basis.

We are confident in our ability to express our distress and ask for help, which is an essential aspect of strength of character.

It is important to be aware that many individuals find it challenging to request assistance.

Additionally, they are hesitant to reveal their own distress and vulnerability.

Asking for and offering help are mutually beneficial. Many individuals are willing to provide assistance to others and to act in a commendable manner.

From this perspective, we can therefore let go of our guilt.

3. How can I demonstrate my gratitude for a kind gesture?

Some individuals believe that the most effective form of compensation is to disseminate benevolence.

Kindness should be reciprocated to those who have shown it.

This is an exemplary business practice.

For instance, assisting someone in need is an effective way to express gratitude to those who have provided support.

Additionally, simply living your life well is also a rewarding endeavor.

You stated that constant reflection is a source of fatigue and distress. When you feel overwhelmed, it is acceptable to take a break from reflection.

It is important to recognise that everyone has their own rhythm. It is not always beneficial to engage in excessive reflection, as this can be exhausting.

Please disseminate these materials.

If you are interested, I would recommend reading "Interpersonal Psychology."

I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors.

I would like to extend my personal regards to you and express my appreciation for your contributions to our organization.

I am talking to myself. Seeing into the heart, making sharing a habit!

As a volunteer, I have helped you before, but today I want to talk about this issue as a volunteer.

The name "firefighter" is familiar to all of us.

They deserve our respect as ordinary people every time they step up to the plate!

We must be grateful for the peace and tranquility they have bought with their lives.

I am grateful for their service, and I will say so a thousand times over.

However, we must understand one fact when faced with the truth: this is their duty.

This sentence means that nobody in the world deserves to do anything.

As the saying goes:

The years are not as quiet and peaceful as they seem. Someone is carrying the load for us, and we must recognize that.

I'm going to use firefighters as an example today.

They have a sacred and inescapable mission because of the nature of their work.

A Yixin psychology respondent is...

They use their life experience and wisdom to help those in need.

This is the most basic professional conduct of every respondent.

Every questioner on the Yi Xinli platform

Ask questions and get answers.

Each questioner has complete trust in the Yi Xinli platform.

You must accept and recognize the advice and opinions of the respondent.

It helps them and also encourages the person who answers.

Look at this matter this way.

I am certain that your pain does not exist.

It is a one-way trade-off.

In fact, both sides benefit.

I'll give you one last thing to think about.

Let me be clear: there are many times

We have worries, concerns, and distractions.

Things are not complicated in themselves.

We think it's complicated, but it's not.

The world is not as complicated as you think.

You are simple. The world is simple.

You are complicated, and the world is complicated.

Be a person with an open mind and no distracting thoughts.

Doesn't that smell good? It should.

Hello, question asker! People who know how to be grateful have also felt this sense of guilt.

This shows the questioner is open-minded, grateful, and worth keeping in touch with.

People answer your questions, and you can see their answers. You and the person you're talking to both get what you want.

This is what "Yixinli" offers.

People want to be seen. It makes them feel good about themselves. Why do people need to be seen?

We need to be seen. In the past, people needed to go out hunting. Being seen meant safety and cooperation.

In modern society, people need self-esteem. Being seen means being valued.

Similarly, when you ask a question on the "One Psychology" platform, you open yourself up with courage and trust. People see your question and give their opinions. The questioner and the answerer are in a mutually helpful relationship. The process of identifying problems and answering questions forms a positive-sum game.

Everyone who opens up on the "Yi Xinli" platform is open and bright. This openness shines into people's hearts, and they reflect and analyze themselves while answering questions. The questioner said, "I think the best approach is to give feedback on every question, but I don't have that much energy."

Reflection is tiring and painful. Opening up and analyzing oneself is healing. While you ask questions and get responses, people gain different perspectives and healing. There is no "giver and receiver" but a relationship of mutual progress.

Lin'er suggests you take time to respond to others. This can help you heal. It may be hard, but it's a way to grow. You don't have to respond to everything. You can come back to difficult posts when you're ready.

Many friends are willing to stop and answer your question. This shows that you are not alone in feeling this way. It is good to know you are not the only one feeling this way.

It's good to want to repay kindness. Lin'er doesn't agree with the idea of "feeling worthy." She thinks it's because you're self-respecting and self-loving that you want to repay kindness.

A grateful heart makes you stronger. Think about it and grow.

The above is Lin'er's response to your question: "I don't know how to repay the selfless help of a kind person. I feel guilty. What should I do?" I hope it helps!

I wish you happiness, health, and peace!

Guilt is the feeling of being unable to reciprocate.

If you give less than others give to you, you will feel guilty and ashamed.

If someone gives you something and you haven't given anything in return, you should be embarrassed and sorry for the other person.

When others are kind to you, you don't know what to do to repay them. You feel uneasy and undeserving.

These feelings are similar to being flattered.

You must always feel that you deserve others' kindness.

You clearly didn't get much parental or familial affection when you were young.

You want them to get more love from them, but if they really get it, they will be very uncomfortable.

Your subconscious mind tells you that other people are nice to you with conditions and expectations, and you have to show your sincerity in return.

This exchange of something for sincerity is a burden for you.

You are not good at it, or you don't think they need it.

This is why you feel so much support and warmth, but also so guilty and anxious.

To solve this problem, you can start by

1. Increase your sense of entitlement. You deserve the selfless help of others.

People have feelings for each other, and they can build and deepen their relationships through mutual help.

People you don't know offering you help are doing so of their own accord.

In the process of helping others, they gain a sense of worthiness from being needed, as well as the joy of sharing.

You just need to accept it openly. That's recognition enough for them.

2. Learn to express your emotions. A simple "thank you" is more powerful than a thousand words when you want to show your gratitude.

I want to reply to each one to express my gratitude, but I also feel that just saying a word of thanks would seem perfunctory.

I will respond to each question that each person suggests. However, I don't have the time to do so much responding. Reflection is tiring and miserable for me.

If you want a reply, say thank you.

Sincerity doesn't need to be expressed in long speeches. Two simple words of thanks are all you need to show basic etiquette when interacting with others.

The person who receives these words will know you accept their advice and help, and they will be happy.

You don't need to give feedback to everyone. If you've been helped a lot, you can give feedback or just say thank you.

Most people only need to know the basics of social etiquette to navigate their interactions.

3. If you're not ready to openly accept help from others or don't want to owe anyone, you can use value exchange to balance your guilt.

Here's an example of a paid question. You pay a fee, and the person who answers your question gets paid within that amount. It's a small fee, but it's also a reward for their efforts.

Furthermore, some people who answer your questions do so not for the reward, but because they know you need help and they can provide it.

If you still feel bad about it, you can increase the reward amount.

I have let everyone down with my lack of gratitude for their warm and helpful support. I really hope that someone can answer all my questions, but I don't know how I can repay this kindness.

If you feel that you have let everyone down and cannot give them a return gift, don't force yourself into a situation where you have to repay the favor.

If someone offers you white wine and you don't drink, just clink glasses with water.

Temporarily allowing yourself to be in a weaker position is the same as admitting that others are stronger than you.

This is the only way to ensure that the goodwill of others does not become a burden on you.

I am confident that the above reply will help.

I am a psychological counselor, Yan Guilai. You will be happy!

When spring and summer meet autumn and winter, they have happy years. When people meet, they have a vibrant atmosphere. I know the questioner has deeply felt this warmth and received this great love. On this platform, we can really feel the warmth of this family.

We treat them sincerely, and they naturally respond to us wholeheartedly. Time is the best witness. Any protection and gains need to be maintained with love. We help and support each other. The words of gratitude from our friends are etched in our hearts.

Kind friends, cherish our friendship. You will meet many unknown friends in your life because the earth, mountains, rivers, and white clouds in the sky are cheering for you. This most precious friendship is rare and unforgettable.

Warm blessings will make us feel immensely powerful, more than the emptiness of the universe. Cherish this kind and caring heart, and cherish this passionate friendship that burns like a fire. We are linked by our five fingers, inseparable.

Friends use words to inspire this platform, allowing our friendships to take root and the beauty and kindness of sincerity to linger in those words. Every moment of lingering is a boundless love. We trust our own bright eyes and are delighted by the beautiful scenery along the way.

Every day, we face a world of sweet and sour, bitter and salty. We will encounter more joys and sorrows, separations and reunions. The world is imperfect, but our hearts are together, and that is perfect. We have worries, but we have the care and love of our friends.

Rainbows are a common occurrence in our lives. Mountains are traversed and the earth is seen from a distance, and in these moments, we let go. We may have been wronged, but we know that tomorrow will be better.

Flowers bloom and fall, and friendships continue throughout life. Gratitude comes from the heart. Our parents may have given us life, but it is our friends who have given of themselves on the platform who have taught us to overcome setbacks and defeat inner fears. If we are happy to help others every day, we will always have a smile on our face. We come to this world for joy, and we must support and understand one another. This is the story of the world.

Let the relay team of love burn forever. Don't feel any guilt. Don't think about these things. A grateful heart is something that every one of us should have. Sunshine and rain nourish the heart, and being grateful will surely be rewarded, because you will gain trust and respect.

We live in China, a country on the rise. Humanity is progressing, and so is our country. The mountains and rivers are smiling, and we must be grateful for the sweetness of life every day.

We will illuminate the colorful world along the trajectory of the song of the years and add the halo of our embrace.

My friend, look at the bright light in the sky. We are celebrating this beautiful sight together.

Our words shine like the full moon because we meet better people. We must be like the fairy godmother's canvas, which becomes more fulfilling as we paint on it.

There are no comic books in the world. There is only mutual encouragement and growth. We must cherish the good years. Today you give us some warm blessings, and tomorrow we will do the same to send your family the taste of everything going well, the kindness of friends, and friendship blossoming everywhere. We receive everyone's blessings for the flowers, birds, wind, and rain. When you give back to others the blessings they have given you, you gain the strength of their hands. No matter how big the storm or sandstorm, we will keep our promise until we create a brilliant future.

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