I don't want to get married and prefer to live as a single person. Am I torn between having a child or not?

Good morning, question asker.

You find yourself in a somewhat conflicting situation.

They are drawn to the freedom of single life but are concerned that they may come to regret it. They also have a desire to have a child to support them in their old age. However, raising a child requires significant emotional and financial investment.

They are reluctant to make such significant compromises.

It would be interesting to consider whether raising children is really capable of taking care of themselves.

It would be remiss of me not to mention that there are instances where children and grandchildren do not fulfil the role of filial children.

Our willingness to be filial to our parents is a personal choice. We feel the love our parents have for us, and we are willing to give it back to them.

In the unfortunate event that the children are unwilling or unable to care for their parents, the parents are left in a difficult position.

It has been said that children who remain with their parents when they are of average ability are repaying their parents' kindness. When their parents fall ill and require care, they are there for them. Those who develop well may be far away abroad, and their parents are unable to care for them.

I'm not sure why you're not interested in intimate relationships and want to remain with your parents and not have children through marriage.

Children are a natural outcome of marriage. As we transition from independence to interdependence, we learn to rely on each other and experience the love and trust that comes with it.

You have decided to have a child because you both want to continue your genes and also want to continue to love and care for the child, just as you were cared for when you were a child. And raising a child is a responsibility that should be shared by both parties. It is indeed more difficult for one person to raise a child.

Having a partner can be a great help in sharing the pressure.

If you find it challenging to find a partner who is willing to take on the responsibilities of parenthood, you always have the option of having a child on your own. I respect your decision and recognize your right to choose.

However, once the child is born, you will have a responsibility towards him, and he will also have needs of you. I am unsure if you are prepared for this.

The beauty of motherly love is that it gives without expecting anything in return. Your child will become your source of strength and also your greatest challenge.

I hope things work out for you.

Dear questioner, I see that you want to raise children because of old-age support. This is the traditional mindset of the vast majority of people in our country: to raise children to support themselves in their old age.

You also listed the reasons for not wanting to have children: it's exhausting, it costs money and time, and you feel like you're making a lot of sacrifices.

When people reach a certain age, they become anxious about their old age and consider many possible future risks. But don't worry! There are plenty of ways to deal with these risks. For example, you can find a reliable retirement institution, support some people and cultivate good relationships, or get along with the younger generation.

So, what is the probability of these risks we have predicted occurring in the future? Is it 100% or 50%?

Is it 10%?

There are so many other ways to support yourself in old age! What if, instead of raising a child, you found a reliable retirement institution, supported some people and cultivated good relationships, or got along with the younger generation?

Find a reliable retirement institution!

Absolutely! Support some people and cultivate good relationships.

Get along with the younger generation and make some new friends!

Hire a lawyer and an assistant!

Raising a child is hard work, but it's also one of the most rewarding experiences you'll ever have!

You can enjoy the moment with your child! It's all happiness when your child can walk, say "mama," and sing... Compared to the trouble of raising a child, the joy that a child brings to parents is actually even greater. Sometimes children are just the antidote for adults. Whatever grievances, hopelessness, and anger you have suffered in the adult world, they will all be cured the moment you see your child!

Everyone's life has blind spots, and it's totally normal! For some people, giving up on having children means they're missing out on the incredible joy of family. And for others, choosing to have children means they're missing out on the amazing freedom that comes with it.

As long as we can all afford the consequences of our choices, that's great!

Your considerations are comprehensive and involve significant life decisions that require careful analysis. When deciding whether to have children or adopt, your primary concerns are the provision of old-age support and your interest in raising children.

Firstly, with regard to retirement, there are numerous avenues for ensuring your financial security in your later years, beyond the provision for your children. One such avenue is the cultivation of a wider social network, comprising friends, relatives, neighbours and so forth, with a view to receiving their care and assistance in your later years.

It may also be advisable to consider taking out long-term care insurance to prepare for any potential health issues that may arise.

Secondly, you indicated that you are not interested in having children and are concerned that this will negatively impact your current comfortable single lifestyle. This is a valid concern.

Raising children requires a significant investment of time, energy, and financial resources, and it can have a major impact on one's lifestyle. It is therefore essential to carefully evaluate one's willingness and ability to assume this responsibility.

Furthermore, adoption is a viable alternative. By adopting a child, you can provide her with a loving family and unwavering support, while she can offer you care and attention in your later years.

Adoption does not require the process of pregnancy and childbirth, which may make it a more suitable option for you.

Ultimately, regardless of the approach you take to address the issue of aging, maintaining a positive outlook and an optimistic attitude toward life is of paramount importance. Life is inherently uncertain, and it is not possible to fully anticipate the future. However, it is possible to be fully prepared to handle the various challenges that may arise.

Furthermore, it is important to have confidence in one's abilities and judgment, and to trust that the best decision will be made.

Adopting a child is a challenging and responsible decision that requires careful consideration and preparation. It is not a decision that should be taken lightly.

1. The child's reaction upon discovering the truth

If the child is not informed of his adoption status until later in life, it could cause distress and confusion. In such a case, the child may feel deceived or disappointed, potentially leading to doubts about his identity and family relationships.

Such changes may have a significant impact on the relationship between the child and the parent.

2. With regard to the matter of elderly care

It is not unreasonable to consider the possibility that an adopted child may seek to claim a portion of your property and subsequently depart, leaving you to navigate the consequences of their actions. While this scenario is not inevitable, it is a potential outcome that adoptive parents should be prepared to address.

There are numerous methods that adoptive parents can employ to prevent this occurrence. One such method is the creation of a comprehensive will and trust fund that outlines the intended use and conditions of the property, thereby ensuring its proper management and utilization.

It is also crucial to instill the child with the values and sense of responsibility that will serve them well in the future. Through education and the power of example, children can understand that wealth is not just material enjoyment, but also responsibility and obligation. It is hoped that they can rationally manage and utilize their assets, rather than blindly pursuing personal gain.

Secondly, effective communication and trust between adoptive parents and children are essential for avoiding this situation. It is vital to establish an open and honest family atmosphere, provide children with the opportunity to express their thoughts and needs, and actively listen to their opinions and suggestions. Furthermore, it is crucial to engage in open dialogue about future family planning and decisions.

Mutual respect and understanding can reinforce the emotional bond between family members, mitigate potential conflicts and misunderstandings, and thus ensure family harmony and stability.

3. The child's personality and behavior

An adopted child may possess distinctive personality traits and behavioral characteristics, and may not demonstrate the same level of obedience as a biological child. When spending time with an adopted child, it is essential to provide sufficient understanding and support to facilitate their adaptation to the new family and environment.

Furthermore, fostering a positive relationship through open communication and providing guidance and support can help children develop into independent and responsible individuals.

The role of adoptive parents

As a foster parent, your responsibility is not just to provide material support, but more importantly to give the child emotional care and a sense of security. By establishing an intimate parent-child relationship, respecting the child's individuality and needs, and cultivating their self-esteem and confidence, you can become an important supporter and guide in the child's growth process.

It is also important to ensure that children are given sufficient freedom and respect, and that they are encouraged to express their thoughts and emotions in order to establish a positive and constructive parent-child relationship.

After learning the above information, please consider whether you still wish to proceed with the adoption process. This is a complex matter with uncertain outcomes that requires careful deliberation.

Let us now turn our attention to the specific issues involved in having children and caring for the elderly.

It is not uncommon to have reservations about whether to have children and raise them. This is a significant decision that requires careful consideration and entails numerous factors, including personal lifestyle, values, and family dynamics.

You indicated that your primary motivation for having children is to address the issue of elderly care. This is a common concern, but it is important to recognize that children may not be the sole solution to all elderly care issues.

While there are cases where children can provide support in old age, relying on them for such support is not a reliable plan. Children also have their own lives and responsibilities, and may not be able to fully meet your needs in old age. Additionally, regarding childbirth as a kind of "insurance" against old age may be a cognitive bias.

It is understandable that you have concerns about the time, energy, and financial resources required to raise a child. Raising a child is a significant undertaking that requires considerable effort and sacrifice.

It is important to note that raising a child can also bring significant joy and satisfaction. A child's growth and development will become an integral part of your life. Therefore, when considering whether to have a child or adopt, it is essential to balance your personal desires with the responsibilities you are prepared to take on.

Your concerns about your future retirement are understandable, particularly if you do not have relatives to rely on. However, the solution to your retirement anxiety does not necessarily depend on having children.

It may be beneficial to consider establishing a comprehensive retirement plan, which could include financial planning, social network building, and health insurance. Additionally, participation in community activities or volunteer organizations may be advantageous for expanding your social circle and finding friends and partners who can support each other.

Your description may contain some cognitive biases, such as an overreliance on children to solve the problem of old-age support and an overemphasis on the value of children to oneself. These biases may affect your judgment in making decisions about having children. Therefore, it is recommended that you seek the help of a professional counselor or family doctor to reflect on and analyze your thoughts in depth before making a decision.

Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to have children is a personal one. It is crucial to make an informed choice based on reason and emotion, and to accept responsibility for that decision.

It should be noted that adopting a child is a challenging and responsible decision that requires thorough preparation and consideration. Before deciding to adopt, it is recommended that you conduct in-depth research and consultation to understand the legal procedures and related issues of adoption, and be prepared to meet the various challenges and opportunities that adopting a child may bring.

Good day. I am a heart exploration coach. Life is a beautiful journey, not so much for appreciation, but for blossoming.

I can relate to your feelings. As society evolves, views on marriage are becoming more diverse. While marriage may not be a necessity for everyone, the desire for family love is universal. Your perspective on not wanting to get married and having a child is not uncommon.

In today's world, we are seeing an increase in the number of single individuals and unmarried mothers.

1. Family provides a sense of connection that can help to mitigate feelings of loneliness.

As you mentioned, parents will inevitably grow older and eventually pass away. As their only daughter, your immediate family is the two of them.

In the future, he may find himself growing old alone. If he stays healthy, he will be able to care for himself and pursue his interests.

Even if you have a headache or a cold, it's nice to have someone around to pour you tea. If you're fortunate enough to be wealthy, you can hire a nanny, but a nanny is still a bit different from a blood relative.

Family members, people you can trust unconditionally, and the love and care they provide for you (children's filial piety towards you) are responsibilities that cannot be repaid, and there is no reciprocity of giving and receiving.

Many people are very wealthy, yet they are unable to overcome a profound sense of solitude. Edward, one of the two elderly men with cancer in "The Bucket List," is extremely affluent, but he harbors a profound regret: his daughter's reluctance to reconcile with him.

No amount of money can buy him happiness, and it cannot make up for the shortcomings of his life. However, these feelings were perhaps not as deeply felt when you were young, and they were perhaps overshadowed by work, career, and hard work.

As we grow older, we often find ourselves reflecting on what truly matters in life. Many of us come to realize that the most precious things are not material possessions or wealth, but the love and support of our families, who will always be there for us.

2. How might you address your future needs for old-age care?

There are always more than three options for everything. You have already mentioned two: you can either go to the father and keep the child, or you can take measures such as egg freezing and have a child when you want to. Another option is "childbirth through surrogacy," which is becoming increasingly common nowadays.

It would be advisable to do some research and prepare in advance, and to consider every possible solution.

Another option is adoption, though it should be noted that this involves adhering to the relevant national regulations. It is also possible to adopt the child of one's own relatives, which can offer the advantage of familiarity and the ability to ensure the child's well-being.

If you are simply looking for a solution to your elderly care problems, you might consider a nursing home as an option. If you have the financial means, you may wish to explore the possibility of choosing a high-end nursing home that also pays great attention to the quality of life of the elderly.

Additionally, in Japan, it is not uncommon for several good friends to share a place to live together, with the mutual understanding that they can look out for each other. They may establish relevant rules and regulations, and if necessary, they can also consult a legal advisor or have it notarized.

I would like to suggest that you watch "The Intouchables," a French drama film based on a true story. It is particularly heartwarming and tells the touching story of a nanny caring for her master. I hope you will enjoy it.

I hope these suggestions are helpful to you. I wish you well, and I send you my love.

Should you wish to continue our dialogue, you are most welcome to follow my personal homepage, "Heart Exploration Service".

Hello there! From what you've shared, I can see that you're facing some tough choices and feelings right now.

Hi there! I'm a psychological counselor, and I'd love to chat with you about my understanding from a psychological perspective.

I can see that you're facing a bit of a dilemma.

I'm not sure if I'm ready to get married and prefer to live alone. Am I torn between having a child or not?

You have your own worldview and outlook on life, and you're living for yourself, which is great! But I can see you're feeling a little anxious about the future.

I'm an only child, and I'm lucky to have money. You should be really happy and content with your current life. You're lucky to have parents who spoil you and a financial foundation.

I'm really struggling with whether to have a baby and raise a child or adopt a girl.

I think the best reason to have children is that they can help you in your old age! For example, if you're old and the nanny you pay is abusing you, your children can help you protect your rights.

For example, if I get sick and have to be hospitalized, my child can give me emotional support. If I have a problem that I can't solve on my own, I can discuss it with my child, etc.

I can see that you're facing some challenges in reconciling your desire to have a child with your current situation. It's natural to want companionship and support as we navigate life's journey. Having a child could be a wonderful way to keep you company, especially given your current status as an only child.

I totally get it. I don't want to have kids either because I'm just not interested in raising them! It's a huge responsibility and it requires a lot of time, energy, and money. It's a big sacrifice!

It's so hard to think about the huge sacrifice, the long duration, and the decades of hard work, just to have a loved one to care for you when you're old. It's so difficult to see that the rewards are clearly not commensurate with the effort! I'm very hesitant! I can see that your first point, not wanting to have children, is that you are worried that you won't have a life of your own and that it will change because of the children.

I do want to have children, but I also want to think about my own old age. I'm not a selfish person, though.

If I have a child, I will absolutely do my best to be the best mom I can be and fulfill my responsibilities as a mother. I will definitely give her so much more than she gives me!

I'm not going to spend any money on her in my old age. I'll let her have my inheritance because I've got my own money. All I need is for her to be there for me when I'm old, to help me out with things and to give me a bit of love and affection.

Conflict 2: If you have a baby, you are also a dedicated mother who loves your child!

I'm lucky to have parents who can help and care for me. But I do have some worries about my old age!

When the future parents pass away, I'll also be old, possibly deaf and blind. When I can no longer rely on myself, there'll be no relatives to help me out, and there may even be bad people bullying me. Even if I have money, I won't be able to spend it, and I won't have any trusted relatives to help me keep track of my money or supervise the nanny.

I'll have to figure it out! I'm not sure how to solve this anxiety about old age!

I also feel tired raising children. It's a big responsibility, and I don't want to give up my current free and comfortable single life. You have the choice to have children or not. It's natural to be anxious about the future of birth, old age, illness, and death.

From what you've told me, it seems like you're currently enjoying a free and comfortable single life. However, you're struggling to resolve some internal conflicts and contradictions. This is something that's likely related to your upbringing and also linked to your object relations with your parents. One way to start working through this is to learn to express yourself and adopt a multidimensional perspective. This will help you achieve integration between your subjective judgments and objective reality. This will help you to alleviate anxiety and better cope with future problems or issues related to aging, illness, and death. This conflict is your own subjective idea that needs to be expressed in words. You can pour your heart out to your parents, share your feelings with your close friends, or seek professional psychological counseling. Whether it is your views on marriage, whether to adopt a child or keep the biological child, there must be unconscious conflicts behind these views. In order to better understand yourself, you need to conduct professional self-analysis so that you can better understand yourself, accept yourself, and be the truest version of you.

You can feel the joy of your current free and comfortable single life, but you cannot resolve your internal conflicts and contradictions on your own. This is related to your growth experience and also linked to your object relations with your parents. Don't worry, though! Learning to express yourself and better perceive the situation from a multidimensional perspective is the only way to achieve integration of your subjective judgments and objective reality, so that you can alleviate anxiety and better resolve issues related to the future or life, aging, sickness, and death.

The world and I love you! You must learn to love yourself. It's not just about the material things, but also about your inner world and how you relate to your parents. When you heal this part of yourself, you can truly complete your identity. You can do it!

Hello, my name is Strawberry.

There are many reasons for having children. While it may be difficult to admit, many people do have a purpose in having children. This could include wanting to provide for their own old age, believing that having children makes life complete, feeling afraid of being lonely and needing someone to keep them company, and so on.

The idea may bring about feelings of unease.

The questioner is an only child, currently financially secure, and in her current views on marriage and relationships, she believes she can live a good life even without a partner. Regarding her next life plan, the questioner is undecided about whether to have a child. If she has to have a partner to have a child, she will choose to father a child and keep the son. If she cannot have a child on her own, she can adopt a child.

The questioner is aware that raising a child requires significant time and energy. What is puzzling to the questioner is whether having children is necessary simply because they do not like children. This is a significant sacrifice for the questioner, but in light of certain realities, they have to rely on their children to help them solve problems.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider that overthinking can sometimes be a sign of taking a problem seriously.

Perhaps many people, seeing the questioner's extremely strong purpose, would gently advise the questioner to think carefully. After all, it is important to consider the impact of raising a child with a purpose. Children also have the right to choose their own lives, rather than following the rules like robots.

It would be interesting to know how many people are willing to speak their true intentions, as the questioner does. Even if they are aware that they are also being purposeful in the process of raising a child, they still choose to stand on the moral high ground and accuse others with an educational attitude.

The questioner feels that raising a child requires great sacrifice because the questioner has a clear understanding of what it takes to truly responsibly raise a child and what they may have to give up. The questioner is considering whether or not to raise a child, which also shows that the questioner needs to reflect on whether or not they are ready to provide their child with everything they need as they grow up, so that their child can grow up healthy in a healthy environment and atmosphere.

I wonder if it might be helpful to consider whether having children is something we really need to do.

Everyone has different goals and motivations for having children. Some see children as a source of healing and guidance, while others view them as a challenge to confront inner child issues. The necessity of having children depends on our willingness to embrace our desires and pursue them through our children.

☀️Correct instilling: It may appear that the poster is reluctant to have children, but her plan allows her to give her children a great deal of love that other parents may not be able to provide. It is often difficult to predict whether we will be able to face challenges with the same level of calmness and rationality when they become a reality as we do when discussing ideas.

If we choose to raise each other, and if we are willing to do so, then it will be a situation of filial piety. However, if we force this concept on our children, it could potentially be perceived as a kind of moral kidnapping. To put it bluntly, it could be seen as the elderly parents imposing on their children a situation that they cannot face and bear, and making the children shoulder that responsibility.

It would be beneficial to instill this idea of parenting and caring for the elderly in your children, ensuring they understand it fully. It's important to allow children to accept this idea with an open mind. Children are like a blank sheet of paper, and how parents treat them is something they will respond to.

☀️Consider their perspective: It appears that the questioner is content with the present circumstances, yet the question suggests that there may be some underlying discontent. This unease about the future and the unknown could be a source of anxiety.

It might be helpful for the questioner to try to put themselves in the position of their parents to gain a better understanding of their expectations and thoughts about themselves. Did the questioner's parents have such concepts instilled in them? If not, how do they view old age or their own old age?

It might also be helpful to consider things from the child's perspective. While the parents may not be able to provide the same level of material comfort as other parents, they can still care for and love their children as much as any other parents. Is it an acceptable alternative to grow up physically and mentally healthy with only your mother and your family? Once you have given this some thought, you will be able to answer this question for yourself and gain a deeper understanding of your true feelings on the matter.

It is important to remember that people do not become anxious for no reason. The questioner is afraid of encountering things that they are unable to solve when they are old. With children, children can help them solve problems. However, it is not possible to guarantee that the children they raise will definitely be able to help them solve all problems when they are old.

It may be more beneficial to find a method that suits you to relieve your emotions, change your mindset, and make you optimistic, positive, and courageous in the face of everything, rather than surrendering your life to an unpredictable unknown.

You might consider joining a social circle with similar ideas, finding out how everyone plans for their old age, and referring to and extracting the options that suit you. You could then compare in advance and, after understanding and investigation, choose a place or institution that is more secure. It may also be helpful to prevent in advance, under normal circumstances, that our bodies will not undergo major changes, and that anxiety will bring various effects to the body as we age. This could help us to take care of our health.

It may be helpful to maintain an exercise regimen, eat a balanced diet, get enough rest, and arrange your life in a self-disciplined manner. When we lead a self-disciplined but fulfilling life every day, we may find that we pay attention to the present, cherish the present, and that our state of mind slowly changes. Sometimes the things that make us anxious may also disappear.

I hope my answer is helpful to the questioner. Best wishes,

It is understandable that you are experiencing a degree of conflict regarding the information you have provided. The decision to have a child or to adopt one is a significant life decision that involves personal values, life plans, and future expectations. To assist you in making an informed decision, we have compiled a list of suggestions for your consideration:

1. Take the time to reflect on your motivations, expectations, and vision for the future. Clarify the real reasons you want children and whether you are ready to take on the responsibility of parenting.

2. It may be beneficial to consider alternative ways of aging. This could include exploring options such as retirement communities, professional care services, or living with a trusted friend. These options may not require the decision to have children or to adopt.

3. Evaluate your personal resources. Determine whether your resources, such as time, energy, and financial resources, are sufficient to support child-rearing. Also, assess your willingness to make lifestyle adjustments for the security of your old age.

4. Gain an understanding of the realities of parenting, including the responsibilities, challenges, and joys. Seek advice from friends or family members who already have children.

5. Consider adoption as an option. If you have concerns about having children, adoption can provide a child with a loving family while also fulfilling your desire for a future connection.

6. **Professional counseling**: It is advisable to seek the guidance of a qualified professional, such as a psychologist or life planner. They can provide expert advice to help you gain a clearer understanding of your needs and options.

7. Long-term planning: Develop long-term personal and financial plans to ensure a secure future, regardless of whether you have children.

8. It is important to pay attention to mental health, as retirement anxiety may be related to it. Mental health services can help you manage these anxieties and find healthier coping strategies.

9. Community involvement: It is advisable to become involved in community activities and volunteer work in order to build a social network. Such social engagement can provide support and companionship for your future.

10. **Open-mindedness**: Maintain an open mind and accept the changes and uncertainties that life may bring. Plans may need to be adjusted over time to accommodate these changes.

It is important to remember that this is a highly personal decision, and there is no absolute right or wrong. By undertaking a thorough analysis and considering all potential options, you can identify the lifestyle and retirement plan that best aligns with your needs and objectives.

It is essential to ensure that your decision is founded on a comprehensive understanding of yourself and your potential children, as well as a responsible approach.

Hello, I'm Ping'er, your counselor. If you don't want to get married, is it because you haven't met someone you like, or are you afraid of marriage?

People come to this world to experience different things. What is our mission? It is to experience things. If life is compared to school, you have never been in love, married, or given birth. How many subjects are there in life? You have not experienced any of these. Do you want to learn and experience them?

When people grow old, they think about the past. If you haven't done anything, you will regret it later. Life is about starting over.

Not wanting to get married is an escape and a lack of ability to solve problems.

It's simple. Women just need to learn to communicate, solve problems, and be tolerant. Life won't be bad.

Some people see too much negativity in marriage. When we watch a video about a negative marriage, big data will keep pushing this aspect to you. In fact, a lot of it is just filmed to generate traffic. China has a large population, so a few cases of failed relationships and marriages are not unusual.

Marriage is about nourishing each other and growing together.

You decide, and whatever you choose is the best.

Just for reference.

I hope you find happiness and don't regret your choices.

Hello, I'm Bai Li Yina, and I hope my response will be helpful to you.

The person asking the questions is an only child who currently enjoys her single life. She's torn between becoming a single mother or adopting a child so that she'll have company and someone to rely on when she gets old. However, she doesn't want to spend too much time and energy on the child. She thinks she can try to be a good mother, but she's not very willing to do so. What should she do?

Let's take a look at the situation.

You're pretty happy with your current single lifestyle and want to keep it that way. But when you think about what might happen to you when you get older because you're single, you start to feel anxious. In fact, anxiety is a pretty common feeling among single or unmarried people. You're the type of person who loves life, enjoys life, and likes freedom. You've chosen a great way of living, so what's stopping you from doing so? Let's take a look together.

[Questions to think about]

1. Do you think you can make yourself happy when you force yourself to do something you hate? Are you confident that you can do a good job of it?

2. If the child is set on living abroad, but the parents aren't keen on going because they're not used to it, do you think the parents will be ok in their old age?

3. You currently prefer living alone, but I'm not sure if you chose to be single after falling in love or if you were always single. If you suddenly want to fall in love and get married again, do you still have the confidence to love your adopted child well?

4. Would your parents be willing to help you if you were a single parent bringing up a child on your own? What age would your parents be when your child graduates from university? Could you take care of your parents while also taking care of your child?

Here are some recommended methods to try:

The above questions might help you think of some possibilities you hadn't considered before. Your ideas come from a sense of trust in your loved ones. You feel that only your family members will truly care for and love you. This shows that you grew up in a loving environment, so you think you can love your child unconditionally and will take care of your child as they grow up, so that you won't have to worry about being left alone when you are old.

Your thoughts are good, but will the child's life and thoughts and behaviors really be as you wish? Just like, if your parents want to see you get married and have children, would you be willing to sacrifice your own happiness as a single person for them?

You are responsible for your own life, and you have the right to choose the life you want. You choose to be single, and you feel happy. These are things that parents cannot control and are difficult to change.

You want to be a competent single mother, but deep down you don't want to spend time raising a child. It's like you hate eating certain vegetables and fruits, but eating them regularly will bring you health. Of course you want to be healthy, so you choose to force yourself to eat them. In the process, your desire to be healthy often outweighs your dislike of the food. You can't fake love for long, because you and the other person can both feel it.

You could try reaching out to the kids at the welfare institute. If you can find joy in being with the kids and in taking care of them for a year, then maybe you should really think about becoming a mom at that time. Your love will help you get through a lot of the challenges and problems that come with having kids. Raising kids is very different from anything else. It's even harder to raise kids alone. You could ask your mom what problems she faced during your upbringing and how she handled them. If there's no dad and she has to face it alone, how would that be?

I admire your straightforwardness and courage. You consider many ways to make yourself happy, which shows that you truly value yourself. This is a great quality, but your concerns haven't actually materialized. If you also prioritize your health while embracing your single life, you can look to those elderly individuals who have led fulfilling lives on their own in their later years. This is also an option. There are too many unknowns in the future, and nobody knows what tomorrow will bring. Why let worries that may not come to fruition ruin the happiness you're experiencing now?

You're hoping that when you're old, you'll have someone to care for and keep you company. Could it be that you subconsciously feel that being single will still make you feel lonely? You need to explore this subconscious feeling carefully.

Ultimately, whatever you choose—whether you're single or a single mother—it's the right decision for you. Believe in your choice and know that it's the first step towards happiness.

We hope these methods will be helpful to you.

It'll take time and patience to make the change. Don't worry or be afraid. There are many people who are experiencing or have experienced similar problems.

The world and I are with you, and we're here to help. I hope you find a solution to the issues you're facing soon, and I wish you the best in finding your own most comfortable state.

I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who has liked and commented on my posts. I hope you have a great day!

Dear questioner, I understand your feelings. Everyone has different ideas about marriage and having children. Your worries and expectations are real and deserve to be heard.

You like the freedom and comfort of single life. You are also worried about your future retirement. You hope that having a child will give you emotional support and care.

This shows you love life and think about yourself.

This is something you need to think about when you have children. It's not just about how much time and energy you'll spend on them, but also about your responsibilities and expectations.

Children are not a means to an end. They are individuals with thoughts and emotions. If you have children, do it out of love.

I understand your worries. The future is uncertain, but that's part of life.

You can make a retirement plan, including financial planning and living arrangements.

You can also take part in social activities, meet new people, and talk to others. This will help you if you have problems in the future.

Also, life is about making choices and adapting. You don't have to rush, just take your time to think and feel.

You can relieve your anxiety and stress through meditation, yoga, or talking to friends.

Adoption is another option to consider. It will bring you family, companionship, and parenting responsibilities.

You need to be prepared and plan well to be able to take on this responsibility.

No matter what you choose, it's the right one. Believe in yourself and know you can handle life's challenges.

I'm here for you. I hope your future is happy.

I have some more specific advice for you:

You can try parenting seminars or activities to learn more about raising children. This will help you understand the reality of raising children and your own expectations and needs.

Second, talk to some experienced parents. Their experience may help you face future challenges with more confidence.

You can also read books and articles on parenting to learn new ideas. This will help you take better care of your children and enjoy parenting more.

Remember to stay calm no matter what you do. Life is full of change and uncertainty, but if you stay positive and believe in yourself, you can handle anything.

I hope these suggestions help. May your future be happy and content!