I feel like my goodness will never be proven, and I'm afraid of my own badness. What should I do?

Hello, host! I'm so honored to answer your question. From what you've shared, I understand that in life, when we say something unintentionally, it can sometimes make other people unhappy.

It's totally normal to get used to role-playing and to think that other people's nosy comments are directed at you. It can make you feel a little uncomfortable, but that's OK!

At the same time, this bad feeling will be projected onto the other person, and if it is validated, the projection will be recognized by the other person. You will then show a feeling of wanting to be harsh with the other person, which is totally understandable!

You're such a sensitive soul! You crave recognition and support from others in communication.

Communication between people is all about equality and mutual benefit. We all want to be recognized when we're communicating with someone else, don't we? And it's totally okay if you unintentionally offend someone.

You also hope that this misunderstanding will happen and that you will be forgiven, because you're a good person and you don't mean any harm.

From these details, it's clear that you still value other people's support and recognition. You hope that the encouragement and support you receive from the outside world will help you feel your own value and confidence. Psychology comes from philosophy, and most of the theorems in science are also applicable to psychology. Philosophy says that internal factors are the foundation and external factors are necessary conditions. Psychology can also be considered in this way. If you do well on your own and rarely make mistakes, giving the other person less chance to misunderstand you, the chances of gaining the other person's recognition will be higher.

If you can show people how you do things and give them a chance to see your strengths, they'll be amazed!

So, gaining recognition from others is down to two things: not putting in enough effort yourself and external conditions that aren't great for showing off what you can do. If you want to gain recognition from others, while possessing certain abilities, you must also find the right stage to showcase yourself, so as to better achieve the goal of having the world recognize you.

I'm so happy to have an appointment! 1983. The world and I love you!

Hello, I'm June.

We are often hurt by other people's words and anxious because we worry that we are not perfect enough. Life is tiring for you, who are so sensitive and affectionate.

You know full well that if the other person really thinks the same way I suspect, then that person is being really unreasonable, unable to look at things objectively, and there is no guarantee that that person will not say something to upset you. So it cannot be said that it is only my fault if that person really thinks that way.

You are reasonable, so let's think about it: what needs are reflected in your way of thinking?

"If I say something that makes the other person unhappy, she doesn't point out my mistake, but the tone of her words when she says something else makes me feel that she is angry."

She is angry because she thinks I am wrong, but I am not wrong.

This shows there are differences in your values or beliefs. People's values are inherently different due to differences in upbringing and education. These differences make the world so colorful.

We think the other person is competing with us for victory because we have a sense of discrimination.

For example, women should wear makeup if they want to. And you should be able to choose whether to sacrifice your career for your children after getting married.

There is no right or wrong answer to these questions. There are reasons for taking either side, and you should do whatever you think is appropriate.

I remember a line from a movie: only children talk about right and wrong, in the adult world there are only pros and cons. It's clear that arguing about right and wrong doesn't make sense, especially in interpersonal relationships, where winning the argument may cost you a friend. So why argue?

Understand and accept the other person, and don't let yourself be held back. You deserve a better life. Best wishes!

Hello, question asker. I see you're confused. Hugs!

You're having some growing-up issues. Let me give you a hug.

Your problems may be related to your family.

Do you remember school?

You get a 90+ on an exam and go home to tell your parents.

They might say, "Not good enough because some classmates got full marks."

Then you'll doubt yourself.

You work hard and get full marks on the next exam. You go home and tell your parents.

They still belittled your efforts, saying, "Have you learned the material for the next grade?"

If you grew up in a family like this, you may always feel bad about yourself.

To change your negative self-perception, do the following:

Every morning, say three times in the mirror, "I am the best. I can have a good day."

Make more friends with positive energy. They can show you the good side of yourself.

If you're still confused, see a counselor.

Your problem is family-related, so I'd rather see a counselor than an instant listener.

I hope you can solve your problem soon.

I'm out of ideas.

I hope my answer helps and inspires you. I study hard every day.

Yixinli loves you! Best wishes!

Good morning, My name is July.

After reviewing your description, I believe I understand the question you are seeking to ask. In this regard, I also extend my support in a four-dimensional capacity.

From the issues you outlined in your description, it is my assessment that your current situation has also contributed to your negative emotional state. In this regard, I would like to extend my support and encouragement.

The issues you have highlighted in your description suggest that the original poster is a perceptive and meticulous individual. This has given you an excellent understanding of other people's emotions, which has occasionally led to difficulties. This is because you tend to infer whether you have said the wrong thing due to other people's emotional changes, which can cause distress. As you prioritise other people's thoughts and feelings, you may occasionally neglect your own thoughts and feelings.

Regarding praise and compliments from others, it is important to note that sometimes these individuals are genuinely sincere and refrain from making negative comments. Many people act on impulse and do not consider the implications of their actions. Additionally, praise can be seen as a form of recognition. Individuals often gravitate towards what they find appealing, rather than providing constructive criticism. Given that people's actions are often consistent and not contradictory, it is not necessary to assume that positive responses are indicative of negative qualities. Sometimes, the perceived negativity may not be as significant as initially thought.

In this regard, I have also provided a summary of methods to help alleviate the current situation, with the hope of providing some assistance.

(1) Practice is an essential element of personal and professional growth. For instance, the capacity to accept constructive criticism is a valuable quality that not everyone possesses. When confronted with a mistake, it is crucial to take responsibility and strive to improve. However, it is also important to avoid self-criticism and to recognize the impact of one's actions on others.

(2) Prioritize your own feelings and thoughts over those of others, as you are the most important stakeholder.

(3) It is advisable to consider limiting the amount of time spent thinking about the opinions of others. Given that your friends do not necessarily share the same views, it may be beneficial to focus your attention elsewhere. Excessive thinking can lead to undue pressure in the present moment.

I would like to suggest two books for your consideration: The Courage to Be Disliked and The Courage to Be Happy. Both books offer valuable insights that can assist you in gaining a deeper understanding of yourself.

(5) Focus your attention on your own capabilities and contributions, as you are a valuable asset. Shift your focus from external factors to your own performance.

(6) Attempt to reduce the number of negative thoughts you have about yourself. You are, in fact, a very capable individual, and your self-perception may not align with your actual abilities.

The world and I extend our warmest regards to you.

Best regards,

Hello, I'm Xin Tan, Coach Fei Yun.

You care a great deal about what others think of you and are sensitive to their reactions. You want to be affirmed and accepted by others, and you believe that being affirmed is the same as being accepted as a person.

Let's be clear: being rejected means you are not liked, recognized, or accepted. This creates internal conflict, making you constantly think about and pay attention to other people's feelings, but it seems to be out of your control.

Let's address the issues that concern you:

Our relationships with others are a direct reflection of our experiences with our parents.

As you said, you want to prove yourself and are afraid that you are not good enough. You need to recall your relationship with your parents. Did you receive more affirmation, praise, and approval from them, or were you often criticized, blamed, and rejected?

Your parents adopted an encouraging or a suppressive approach to parenting. They paid close attention to your feelings and provided adequate emotional support.

This will affect your subsequent relationships.

You want to prove yourself to be good and gain the approval and affection of others. This is just a way of satisfying the needs that you "could not obtain" from your parents.

Give me a warm hug. You've had a hard time all these years. When we were young, we didn't have full judgment and couldn't exercise independence. Our self-evaluation mainly came from our parents.

As adults, we can and should be our own significant others. We must provide ourselves with the "psychological nutrition" we need to grow up healthy, both physically and mentally.

You care a lot about what others say about you because you let others be a "judge" who has the power to "judge" your words, deeds, and mannerisms. Look inside yourself again, and you will also find a "judge" living there. Who is he judging?

It's not about other people. It's about you.

Read "Mr. Toad Goes to Therapy." It's recommended for you.

The author of this book uses straightforward stories from the animal world to explain the entire process of psychological counseling in a comprehensive yet accessible manner.

This is an invaluable tool for anyone interested in psychology and those struggling emotionally. It allows you to recognize your true self, identify the inner "critical parent" and "adaptive child" states, and even perceive the "adult state."

You must enhance your sense of value, boost your self-confidence, be yourself, and don't need to prove anything. This requires a process. You must heal the long-term relationship patterns with your parents through self-healing, such as meditation practice, to enhance your ability to love yourself and stay connected with yourself. This will allow you to continuously give yourself positive feedback and enhance your sense of value.

You can also use "The Power of Self-Healing through Writing" to examine your parents from the perspective of a stranger. They have their own limitations. Understand and accept what they did to you at the beginning. See the good intention behind their actions. You can achieve a psychological separation from your parents.

I am confident that the above will be helpful to you. The world and I love you.

If you want to continue the conversation, click "Find a Coach" in the lower right corner to chat.

Hello, question asker!

From your description, I can tell you're a strong, sensitive, and courageous person. You have a great ability to observe and the courage to face your problems head-on. This is great! Seeing this is the beginning of change.

I'd love to know what happened to make you feel this way! When did these feelings start?

In other words, when did it first happen? What happened at the time, and now? What have you done?

From what you've told me, it's clear that you're a sensitive soul who cares deeply about what others think. It's totally normal to feel insecure sometimes, but I'm here to tell you that you're amazing just the way you are! I can relate to this because I used to be the same way. So, let's embrace our differences and celebrate our similarities! I'll even give you a hug because I care about you!

In fact, many people feel this way, and I do too! I used to try to read other people's minds, which made me feel especially tortured. When others praised me, I also felt that they might just be being polite. But I've learned that this is all caused by our inner feelings of lack, insecurity, lack of confidence, and sensitivity. And now I'm excited to work on changing that!

When you come here to ask a question, I want you to be aware of what kind of strength is supporting you! What makes you keep looking for a breakthrough in such an uncomfortable situation?

There are so many reasons for this! Some may be related to the education and environment of the original family, some may be related to the setbacks encountered during your growth experience, and one possibility is genetic. So here you have the chance to examine why you feel this way.

Is this feeling real? Or is it just a product of reality? Let's find out!

Just imagine for a moment that a miracle happens and your feelings disappear. What state will you be in? When you reach that state, will you be any different from how you are now?

What can you do to make a difference in your mood?

I don't know your specific situation, but I'm excited to share some small advice based on my previous experience that I hope will help you alleviate your bad mood!

First, adjust your mindset and get ready to take on the world!

Your mental attitude is everything! A positive mindset can help you tackle any challenge with confidence and take the right steps to overcome it. But it doesn't stop there. It can also help you embrace every situation with a calm and collected mind.

Wang Yangming once said, "The more difficult the situation, the more important it is to stay calm." So first, organize your state of mind. For example, you can calm yourself down by taking a deep breath, and then give your mind strength through self-suggestion. This is an excellent way to take control of your emotions and focus on the task at hand!

Second, learn to look within and stimulate your potential!

In fact, most of our lives, we look outward to see the merits of others and our own shortcomings. But there's a better way! Looking inward is the key to change. Learn to see your own merits, your own strengths, your own potential, and then plan accordingly. In this way, you will have the strength and opportunity to change yourself.

Then, find hobbies and interests to improve yourself!

But when we feel uncomfortable, we become sensitive and vulnerable. The good news is that if we want to change, we can learn to believe in ourselves and improve ourselves! Here's how: we can improve ourselves through our interests. Through hobbies, we can focus on our favorite fields and achieve a sense of accomplishment. In this way, we can become a little more confident!

And finally, don't be afraid to seek help from external resources!

There are so many amazing things in life! But sometimes, we can get a bit stuck. When we give out difficult emotional gifts, we can end up feeling a bit blinded. That's when we might need the voluntary help of others. You can seek help from a professional counselor, who can use their professional skills to dig deep into the subconscious roots and then create a safe environment for you to grow. But you can also learn about psychology like I did, and be healed in the process of learning!

In the end, I want to tell you the most amazing thing: if you are willing, you can definitely change! All you have to do is keep thinking about it, and you will definitely get a response!

Don't give up! Keep looking for that breakthrough, and one day you'll find that you're a different person! Change is always subtle, but it's always there.

Good morning,

Good morning, I am pleased to have the opportunity to respond to this thought-provoking question. I look forward to exploring it further with you and to our joint growth as a result.

I would like to begin by commending you for your sensitivity and meticulousness. You have demonstrated an exceptional ability to consider situations from other people's perspectives, which is a quality not commonly seen in today's society.

Next, we will examine the fear of "your goodness not being confirmed," as referenced in your text.

1. What are you concerned about?

It would be beneficial for you to consider whether your primary concern is the event itself, namely the non-validation of your goodness, or whether you are more concerned about the potential negative comments that may be made by yourself, others, or society at large in the event of such non-validation.

Often, it is not the event itself that we fear, but our interpretation of it. For example:

In the event of failing an exam or a project, there is a risk of losing face and being labelled as uncompetent or lacking in intelligence.

I am concerned that my appearance may be perceived as less than optimal, which could potentially impact my professional image and attractiveness in the workplace.

I have a fear of delivering a speech or debate in public. I am concerned that I may be perceived as inexperienced or that my abilities may not meet the expectations of the audience.

When faced with fear, it is important to take a moment to pause and ask yourself: What exactly am I afraid of? If the fear is a negative interpretation based on your original thinking, it may be helpful to consider using the "ABC emotion therapy" to change the outcome by modifying your beliefs and interpretations of events.

ABC Emotional Therapy:

A refers to the cause of an event; B refers to the belief, evaluation, or interpretation of an event; and C refers to the consequence of an event.

In other words, the consequence of all events does not simply point from A to C; it also passes through B as a bridge, ultimately pointing to the result of C.

In other words, when you take a moment to pause and reflect on your thoughts, you can adjust your interpretation of the situation to be more positive. This can lead to a change in your emotional state and, subsequently, in the outcomes you experience.

I would like to share a personal experience.

When I disagree with a colleague or friend on something, we often engage in heated discussions and even damage our professional relationships in an effort to prove that our position and opinions are correct.

If I recognize at the outset that my assumptions may be flawed and that my objective is to find a solution rather than to prove my point, I should withdraw, take a moment to collect my thoughts, and then pursue a mutually acceptable solution when the goals are aligned and differences are acknowledged.

2. There are three key areas of focus.

There is a popular adage that encapsulates the essence of what truly matters in this world: your own affairs, the affairs of others, and the affairs of the heavens.

You have control over your own affairs and should endeavour to perform to the best of your abilities within the confines of your control.

The actions of other individuals are beyond our control. Therefore, we must adapt to these circumstances.

The section on what God wills typically pertains to matters of chance.

The desire to control external factors that are beyond our control often leads to feelings of anxiety and suffering. For instance, individuals may strive to influence the opinions and comments of others, which can be a significant source of stress.

There are 1,000 individuals with unique backgrounds, experiences, and perspectives. It is unreasonable to expect everyone to have the same outlook or to agree with us absolutely.

Accordingly, I propose the implementation of a "control dichotomy" approach.

It is important to focus on the aspects that you can control, such as ideas, perceptions, outlook, experience, thinking, habits, and emotions.

Adapt to circumstances beyond your control, such as the opinions of others, external factors, and unexpected events.

Strive to be the best you can be and be fully prepared, and you will find that God will select friends or rivals with the same frequency for you. Continue to develop your strengths and abilities to the point where you are so accomplished that you no longer concern yourself with external opinions or labels. Your own achievements will serve as the best proof of your capabilities.

3. We will now examine the concept of "issue separation."

The concept of separating issues was proposed by the renowned psychologist Adler. To resolve interpersonal challenges, it is essential to distinguish between your concerns and those of others. By clearly delineating your boundaries and respecting the limits of others, you can effectively address interpersonal issues and promote harmonious relationships.

As you mentioned in your question, you have provided counsel or made a statement to another individual. This is an issue that you need to address. Regardless of the method or tone you use, it is something that is within your purview. As for how others feel, whether they are satisfied or not, and what comments they will make, that is not your concern.

It is important to establish clear boundaries and to cultivate a sense of self-control within those boundaries. For example, if you are sensitive and delicate, you can try practicing structured listening skills to distinguish facts, opinions, and emotions from other people's words. By doing so, you will find that you can calmly handle any conflicts and inconsistencies with ease.

It is important to respect other people's boundaries and not to intrude on them. We should accept inconsistencies and be grateful for imperfections, as they provide an opportunity for growth and contribute to a more diverse and vibrant work environment.

Kohn stated, "There are cracks in everything, and that's where the light comes in."

I hope this information has been helpful. Let's continue to learn and grow together. Best regards,

Hello. It's clear that the questioner feels their goodness is never confirmed. They are afraid that they are not good. This makes your expectation that you are good and can be recognized by others understandable. You seem very kind and care a lot about other people's feelings. From your description, I can tell that you can also feel other people's emotions very well. It's just that the emotional receiver senses it and doesn't know how to respond appropriately, which leaves you feeling overwhelmed. This is especially true when you don't get positive feedback from others. You will be frustrated and disappointed.

I'd like to suggest a few perspectives for your consideration. Do you agree with me?

1. You seem to be a highly sensitive person.

Highly sensitive people have very keen senses. They can "see" and "perceive" subtle stimuli (the slightest changes and fluctuations in people, things, and objects) that others cannot notice. They also react to stimuli much more strongly than others, subconsciously or semi-consciously receiving and processing information, and can deeply analyze almost everything. For most people, things that are just ordinary and insignificant are a challenge for highly sensitive people. They must make an effort to adjust themselves to fit in, in order to appear calm and composed in the eyes of others. This will cause stress over time, and they usually have a certain degree of "social phobia."

How do highly sensitive people perceive the expectations of others? They are acutely aware of the feelings and needs of others, are excellent at empathy, and are determined not to let people down.

Therefore, learning to say no is a challenge and a necessary condition for highly sensitive people. Otherwise, they will easily be overwhelmed by other people's demands. However, when they first try to refuse, they immediately and clearly perceive their friends' disappointment. The next time they refuse, it will be easier.

At this point, you must tell yourself, "It's not my fault, my rejection is justified, he should be responsible for his own needs and find other ways to achieve them." However, highly sensitive people are often their own worst critics.

When others have negative emotions, they are acutely aware of it. They feel responsible for the happiness of others, which leads to self-criticism. They can only feel at ease when they receive positive affirmation from the other person, so their sense of value is long-term bound by external actions or words.

2. Remember, just because someone doesn't respond to what you said doesn't mean you did something wrong.

The other person may simply have been in a bad mood and had no intention of communicating with you. This is known as projection, a psychological term referring to an individual's tendency to attribute their own psychological and behavioural characteristics to others based on their own needs and emotions. In other words, you are worried that other people will say you are bad, and just because the other person's reaction is not as enthusiastic as you hoped, you are easily led to speculate that other people think you are bad. This leads to constant accusations and attacks on yourself, making you even more nervous and causing mental depletion.

3. You need to be able to distinguish between reality and your own projections. The best way to do this is to clarify the feelings and thoughts of both parties.

For example, you can say to the other person, "It seems like you're upset. Tell me what's wrong," or "Is it something I said or did?"

"What can I do for you?" etc. When you express your willingness to take the initiative to care, the other person's response will show you whether you're on the right track. If it's not about you, you can show a little concern. If the other person is annoyed by you, you can discuss in depth what kind of words and actions are appropriate.

Be brave and clarify things. This will dispel uncertainties and stop the internal drama from playing out again and again. Besides, if the other person really cares about you, they will take the initiative to express themselves. Know that everyone is the master of their own emotions. What you say can easily hurt the other person, and they might also need to make adjustments themselves.

4. You know there's always an inner voice criticizing you, worrying about you, and fearing that you are not good enough.

I want you to think back to the person or environment from your upbringing that made this sound.

Think about how your parents or teachers reacted when you made a mistake in the past. It's likely that you're nervous about your constant bad mood because of those past accusations.

You will know that the thoughts that make you nervous and worry about yourself are from your upbringing when you find the source of the inner voice. When you were weak and small, you didn't learn how to face other people's dissatisfaction and worries. Instead, you were in a state of being responsible for other people's wishes and expectations. You are particularly sensitive to other people's feedback, and the lack of feedback makes you feel uneasy. This long-term suffering of being blamed has been internalized and formed into self-criticism, with a bad "me" inside.

We must learn how to deal with inner criticism in a positive way.

First, we will discuss the different types of internal criticism.

One type is called the "inadequate self." When you encounter obstacles, make mistakes, or fail to achieve your goals, this internal critic will rebuke you harshly and may provoke you to recall other errors and false steps. It makes you feel incompetent, flawed, and inadequate.

Another kind of self-criticism is the "hated self." When you encounter failure in life, this inner voice responds with hatred and disgust, making you dislike yourself.

The "inadequate self" harshly criticizes you for doing something wrong, telling you that you have not met the standards. The "nasty self" abuses and despises you. For example, you said, "I said something that made the other person unhappy. Although she did not point out my mistake, the tone of the other person's words made me sound angry, and I started to panic.

I put myself in her shoes and imagined what she would think if she were in my place. I knew she'd think this person was stupid for saying such things.

He doesn't care about other people's feelings at all, and it makes me sick. This person is really stupid, and he's no good.

Feel it. You should feel criticized and disliked by these words. You should doubt yourself.

Has a similar scene happened before? I want to know who she reminds you of.

I want to know how old you were and what kind of emotions you were feeling.

So what if an inner voice points out a mistake but doesn't treat it ruthlessly? That's not the kind of treatment we want.

Everyone makes mistakes. That's a fact. But here's the good news: we all have an inner voice that can help us learn from our mistakes. This voice is called "constructive self-criticism." It's there to embrace our mistakes with an accepting attitude, calm us down, help us recognize our mistakes, and help us figure out what went wrong. This voice is helpful and helps us change direction and do something different, which is beneficial for our growth.

We must find ways to combat harsh inner critics. You must give yourself a little confidence.

Embrace change. It can be frightening and alarming, but it's a brave step to recognize your desire to become better. Remember, your awareness of alternative ways of talking to yourself doesn't mean making changes will be easy or effortless—it should be.

Whatever you choose, be patient with yourself and remember this. Here are some suggestions:

1) Reassure yourself. This self-talk involves pointing out the ways in which you make yourself feel appreciated, encouraging yourself with words of encouragement, and talking to yourself in a compassionate, caring, and kind manner.

This kind of self-healing will reduce your feelings of self-doubt. You will learn to focus on observing yourself with your own eyes, support yourself, encourage yourself with your own strength, and not justify your goodness or badness through external evaluation.

(2) Practice self-compassion. There are three parts to self-compassion.

The first is self-kindness. When we are kind to ourselves, we extend tenderness, thoughtfulness, and empathy inward.

The second is common humanity. We are human like everyone else, and we are not alone in making mistakes, going through difficult times, or having shortcomings.

Knowing that others are also experiencing similar struggles is a source of comfort.

The third is mindfulness, which involves acknowledging our inner experiences rather than trying to escape from them or become absorbed in them. Researchers have studied the effects of self-compassion on self-criticism through various methods, such as compassion meditation, self-compassion exercises, and compassion-based mindfulness training. The results are clear: compassion-based methods can reduce critical self-talk, improve self-worth, improve mood, and improve the ability to handle the affairs of daily life.

Self-compassion can increase creativity in people who are hard on themselves—there is even evidence to support this.

(3) Eliminate self-criticism. Self-criticism may seem to reflect the truth, but it is not the whole truth.

These self-critical thoughts are not based on reality. When you see them as just thoughts and realize they are not necessarily true, you can distinguish your thoughts from reality and reduce their power.

Knowing that thoughts don't reflect reality diminishes their power. Regularly doing this exercise will make you less self-critical and less prone to depression.

When you practice a completely new way of treating yourself, you can choose a completely different approach. What matters most is that you pay attention to what is right for you and be patient with yourself in the process.

Listen to your heart, draw on different resources, and choose the one that suits you best. You can also consult the relevant self-help manuals or read related articles online to download reading materials and exercises.

Combine these approaches as you see fit. Above all, have compassion, empathy, and tenderness for yourself. When you are calm and at peace within, you will not be affected by other people's criticisms. You will also stop wondering if other people's praise and compliments are sincere because you will know that you are good and worthy of love. Everyone makes mistakes and can be forgiven and grow through them.

5. Know your strengths and keep discovering new ones. This will strengthen your perception of your competencies.

Being highly sensitive can cause us a lot of problems at first, but we can overcome this by gaining a clear understanding of it and adapting to life by consciously training ourselves to gradually reduce the interference of sensitivity. This allows us to see its many great advantages, including the ability to perceive subtleties, process and reflect deeply, have a high degree of empathy, and magnify things of beauty. We can use individual strengths of sensitivity or the interplay between several strengths to help us develop our strengths and perform better.

(1) A high degree of empathy allows us to keenly perceive the feelings, needs, insecurities, etc., of others. We can then become excellent listeners, offering comfort and healing to others.

In terms of career options, this could be a consultant, a doctor, etc.

2) The ability to think deeply and reflectively. We understand nuances and are excellent at making connections and integrating complex information, which we then use to solve problems and deal with conflicts. In terms of job choices, this could be a team coordinator, a lawyer, etc.

3) Creative and divergent thinking skills. We have a vibrant inner life, are always attentive to detail, and seize new opportunities. We can think of good ideas, which means we can work in creative or artistic-related fields to create and spread beauty.

Use your sensitivity to your advantage. It can help you perform better, provide more value, live a more relaxed and enjoyable life, and increase your self-confidence while reducing doubts about whether you are being good to yourself.

You have to have the courage to be disliked.

You have to be brave enough to be disliked. You have to stop caring what other people think, stop being afraid of being disliked, and stop seeking the approval of others.

When you have a clear sense of self, you have the courage not to justify your own goodness based on external feedback. You dare to give others the opportunity to hate you or give yourself the opportunity to be rejected and hated.

We must have the courage to be disliked, to be alone, and to move forward independently if we want to set a firm course for ourselves and embark on the ultimate path to freedom and happiness.

I am ready to choose a brand new self and courageously go forward to be myself. I know that my life may be full of insecurity, and it may also be more painful and out of control. But I am also aware that if I don't change, I will still be worried about being hated. I am not afraid of being hurt in relationships, and I am ready to face the pain and risk that come with being true to myself. I can maintain the status quo and continue living with the fantasy of "if this happens, then I can also do that." But I know that this fantasy only amplifies my own shortcomings and makes me choose the current not-so-good state. I am ready to choose a better state.

We are strong people with inner strength when we have the courage to face our own dislikeability. We are confident in our ability to choose the life and lifestyle we want. If we believe we can be happy, then we really can be happy.

Our misfortune is not that we are incapable of being happy. We lack the courage to be happy. What do you think?

Face up to sensitivity. Treat yourself kindly with positive and encouraging words. Let go of the satisfaction of other people's expectations. Summon the courage to be disliked. Be firm in your own ideas about the people you spend time with and the way you live your life. Even dare to be alone. Gradually, we will be free from the distress of external evaluation. We will also benefit greatly from our sensitive gifts. We will become better versions of ourselves. Blessings!

P.S. Read these books: High sensitivity is a gift, The courage to be disliked, and What if you always criticize yourself and don't feel good enough?

Hello, I'm Gentle Sky, your go-to source for quality answers! It seems like you're facing some interpersonal challenges that have led to feelings of self-doubt. It's totally normal to feel anxious and a little desperate in these situations.

This kind of experience can be really tough, but it's also an opportunity to discover something great about yourself! You just need to show it to others. This is your chance to find solutions to your worries.

Let's dive in and see what's going on with you and how you can turn things around!

First, a good understanding of yourself will enable you to see your amazing good points and accept your shortcomings.

1. You feel that you absolutely need the approval and acceptance of others!

When you feel that others are not being friendly to you, it's time to start doubting yourself. But don't worry! You can overcome this challenge. People doubt themselves mainly because they do not know themselves well enough, nor do they know others well enough. But you can change this! People who lack interpersonal interaction during their growth will find it difficult to determine whether there is anything wrong with their actions, and they will not know what they have done that is inappropriate. But you can help them!

Your lack of acceptance and recognition of yourself is probably due to inadequate early or past growth, a lack of recognition, or an environment lacking in communication. But don't worry! You can overcome this by focusing on the present, not dwelling on the past, and getting to know yourself. You can repair yourself through continued growth.

2. It's a wonderful journey getting to know yourself and others!

Let's dive deep and get to know ourselves well! We'll uncover our true selves, our unique personalities, and our amazing strengths and abilities. And we'll explore what kind of person we want to be and what our wishes, ideals, and values are.

And what about others? For example, think about what your goals are when communicating with others.

Are you ready to express your concern or need to communicate? It's time to learn how to affirm the amazing things about yourself, like the good intentions behind communicating with people.

What are the areas for improvement? I can always do better at understanding others!

Do you sometimes express yourself inappropriately, causing misunderstandings with others? The good news is that the more objectively you understand yourself, the less you think you are bad, and the more you can accept your shortcomings and improve them!

Second, self-identification is a wonderful thing! It makes you like yourself more, and together with your understanding of others, it can prevent you from being overly sensitive to other people's attitudes.

Once you have a solid grasp on who you are, you'll be able to embrace yourself fully and see yourself and others in a clear, rational light. Having a clear sense of your identity and goals will fuel your self-esteem and make you feel more confident and in-tune with your own needs. You'll have a strong sense of direction and purpose, and you'll be able to think for yourself and understand your own motivations.

Self-acceptance is the key to a good and correct evaluation of oneself. This evaluation is independent of external factors, which means you can be less affected by other people's emotions and attitudes.

And there's more! Appropriate learning can also enhance your ability to understand others and communicate with them.

Self-development is an amazing journey that requires a considerable amount of time and social practice. You can gain incredible insights about yourself by observing how others react to you. You'll also learn to objectively assess the views of others, distinguish your own perspective, and make adjustments to your psychology and behavior.

As you grow and mature, you'll be able to see the differences between yourself and others more clearly, which is a great thing! Not only that, but your confidence and self-esteem will also increase.

For example, if someone is unhappy, it may be because of their own psychological reasons, or it may also be because of you. But you have the opportunity to grow and improve your understanding! You can learn and analyze why the other person is unhappy, and think about what words or actions of yours have made the other person unhappy. This is your chance to develop your communication skills!

Good communication is a powerful tool that can enhance relationships and help others see our best selves. It's a chance to adjust our words and actions, or even our distance from others, and create a positive impact. With the right mindset, we can overcome self-doubt and make the most of every communication opportunity.

The growth mindset is all about embracing the idea that people's various talents can be continuously improved through continuous learning and cultivation.

I really hope this has been enlightening for you! Wishing you all the best!