I feel suspicious, sensitive, and scared of myself. What should I do?

Hello! I'm sending you a warm hug from afar.

You will feel the extreme desire in the relationship to be accepted and understood, as well as the resentment and anger you feel when you are not treated well. This awareness, reflection, and praise are the beginning of good change.

Let me be clear: our relationships with others are often a reflection of our inner selves. The feelings of rejection and hostility you perceive from the outside are largely due to your own inner feelings you are unable to face up to. You unconsciously project this onto the people around you as a way of relieving the emotional pain within. Think about it.

You will have inner strength when you are aware and reflect on why you are not always treated kindly and with goodwill in a relationship. Look for the reasons in yourself rather than complaining and blaming others.

You can and should stay with your emotions in the moment. Record your painful emotions in a timely manner by keeping a mood diary. Then, be aware, experience, feel, and sort out the real needs behind your emotions. Finally, respond to yourself in a more appropriate way.

If you feel uncomfortable or hurt in a relationship, speak up. Tell your partner how you feel and what you want. At the same time, work on accepting yourself, building self-confidence, and enhancing your sense of self-worth.

You must fully accept yourself from the inside out, believe you are good enough, and deserve to be treated well by yourself and others. Only then can you be true to yourself in a relationship, express your feelings honestly, and say no when faced with harm.

I am Lily, the little listener at the Q&A Pavilion. The world and I love you.

Hello, I am Xin'an Zhi Su.

I was suspicious. I had a conflict with my boyfriend's brother, and I felt that my old friends had become cold towards me.

You had dinner with your boyfriend's brother and felt that he didn't like you. You had a conflict. Give me the details.

For example, in the description, he said you were narrow-minded and overturned the table. It seems the situation got a little out of control.

I want to know how a normal gathering led to such a heated argument. I need to know what really happened.

The other person is your boyfriend's brother, and they should have a good relationship with your boyfriend. Is that what you're saying?

Tell me, where did you get the feeling that his brother didn't like you? And what inappropriate words, actions, or looks or expressions did the other person have towards you?

Then, "I asked him if you didn't want me to come and bother you, and he said yes." This sentence made you angrier and more upset, and it also confirmed that the other person didn't like you.

Meanwhile, your boyfriend not only failed to comfort you, but also kept saying that it wasn't the other person's fault. This made you feel like the whole world was against you and that you had nowhere to vent your strong, uncontrollable grief. You eventually acted in a way that hurt yourself.

I can't believe you would hurt yourself like that. I want to know how much pressure, grief, and pain you had to endure to act this way.

You've been recovering at home for two months. Tell us what you're thinking and feeling now.

This happened two months ago. I recently felt that my old friends were cold towards me, but I realized that I had misunderstood them.

I want to know if you've had similar experiences.

In your daily life, have you ever been suspicious of others (such as parents, classmates, colleagues, or friends)? If so, you probably thought they didn't like you, hated you, or were tired of you.

I want to know if, when you were young, your parents expressed similar thoughts to you, making you feel that you were not worthy of love and did not deserve the love of others.

You may have some psychological problems, you are a bit paranoid, and you are very sensitive.

We doubt because we are uncertain, insecure, and lack a sense of worth and existence. We also lack confidence in ourselves.

It could have been an experience in childhood, or it might have been an important event that left a hole in our hearts. Either way, we can be sure of one thing: we are safe. And we can only be sure of that by constantly and repeatedly seeking proof from the outside.

But not every result of verification is what we expect. When expectations are not met, we become disappointed, painful, helpless, and even desperate to commit self-injurious behavior.

You're aware that this doesn't want to happen again and that you don't want to be like this. This is a great start. It will be your motivation and driving force to change.

You need to explore this question for yourself: How do you change?

Everyone is unique. Not everyone can do what they want to do, but everyone has the resources and potential to solve their own problems.

The solution is in your personal experience. You know your situation, your problems, your goals, and your methods better than anyone else.

You must believe that each of us has the strength, wisdom, and experience to make a difference. The key is having the will, courage, and conviction to change.

At the same time, we must understand that change does not happen overnight. It cannot be a straight line; it must be an undulating curve. This means that the process of change is not always smooth sailing. We must accept this, not be afraid of failure, not be discouraged, and firmly believe that we will not give up.