I feel unfair. People with low emotional intelligence are also doing pretty well. I never understood it.

Good morning, host.

They will initially demonstrate comprehension of your circumstances and subsequently provide suitable counsel.

Indeed, from childhood to adulthood, you have been educated to pay attention to the way you speak, and to refrain from saying hurtful things. Being polite and restrained is also in line with mainstream values. This demonstrates that your upbringing and politeness are well-established. When you reach a certain level of interaction, this politeness and restraint will help you score more points and increase your impression points.

You have indicated that if circumstances do not evolve in the manner you have described, you may take offense. As you have previously stated, there are numerous individuals who exhibit low emotional intelligence and engage in harsh speech and unscrupulous behavior. They conduct themselves as you have described, acting without restraint.

It is important to think clearly and recognize that you are not competing with them. You have your own circle and cannot justify living in an environment with individuals who lack emotional intelligence and speak harshly. It is not feasible to avoid such an environment.

You have indicated that they are indifferent to you. However, it should be noted that the individuals in question hail from a multitude of global origins and have chosen to relocate to this locale. As previously stated, you were instilled with these values from an early age and have become accustomed to displaying politeness and sophistication. However, it is important to recognize that not everyone has undergone the same upbringing or is surrounded by individuals who exemplify these qualities.

It is not sufficient to assume that you can get by with just looking at them or that they can live well like this. Emotional intelligence alone is not enough to get along with people. They may have their own, as yet undiscovered, strengths and virtues. Perhaps they lack emotional intelligence and are not well-mannered, but there is definitely more to living well than just one factor.

It is important to identify the problem and address it constructively, rather than dwelling on it and feeling unfair. There are many instances in the world where circumstances are unfair, and many individuals who lack self-control. It is not possible to control every aspect of these situations.

The only viable option is to continuously enhance your level of expertise. If you possess self-control, it is advisable to associate with individuals who exemplify these qualities and cultivate friendships with those who are polite and courteous. By modifying the environment, you can achieve a cognitive alignment, which means you will be surrounded by like-minded individuals who are consistent in their words and actions and share a similar attitude. These individuals are polite and demonstrate self-control.

It is possible that this is not the primary reason. It may simply be that you are unable to discern it. You may feel that society has not adequately prepared them to behave in a manner that is respectful and considerate. On occasion, their words can be hurtful, and you may feel that you are at risk of being harmed. However, this is not necessarily a result of a lack of guidance from society. It is likely that they adhere to their own set of rules and believe that they only have one life, so they choose a different path, which is more spontaneous and carefree.

The original poster's approach is to avoid dwelling on the details and focusing on perceived unfairness. It's important to recognize that we will encounter a range of individuals during our professional growth. It's not necessary to concern yourself with their actions or assume that they have not received appropriate guidance. It's possible that everyone has different experiences and approaches to life.

The host should focus on the present and on themselves, rather than on irrelevant matters or individuals they dislike. By focusing on themselves and striving for self-improvement, they will feel that the world is fair and that their efforts will be rewarded, even if the reward is small. However, if they do not work hard, they will not succeed.

I extend my best wishes to the host for happiness and joy.

Hello, topic author! Sending you lots of hugs!

I totally get where you're coming from! I used to feel the same way, and I thought it was so unfair. But now I see that we're only seeing the surface of life, and there are so many other amazing things out there!

Let's be kind and respectful when we speak. This is what's taught in mainstream education, and it's really beneficial! If you can control your emotions, communicate with kindness, avoid hurting others, and speak warm words, it's much easier to communicate and solve problems. When we solve problems and conflicts, it's easier to get along with others. It's more pleasant and beautiful to get along with others!

Wouldn't it be so wonderful if our lives were more fulfilling?

It's true that people who speak without restraint and are prone to hurting others can attract people who are just as inconsiderate as they are. They have lovers, family members, and friends just like them. That's not a very deep connection. But if they can't control what they say, their lovers and family members will have to put up with more arguments, conflicts, and quarrels. There will be more family conflicts and more discord and disharmony. That can be a very painful life, and it can really affect the quality of life!

It's possible that the questioner hasn't had the chance to observe and feel deeply enough. They might not have fully understood or felt the true meaning of speaking well-mannered and cultivated. They may have only made a simple comparison on the surface and used unfairness as a criterion for judgment. Let's take a closer look at this together. 1. We all do our best to be good people. Our inner cultivation and cultivation are our own. 2. We also don't deliberately suppress our emotions because of cultivation and cultivation. We can use cultivated and cultivated language to truly express our feelings. We establish our own principles, bottom lines, and boundaries to protect ourselves. 3. We also need to pay attention to our own emotional feelings and take care of our own emotional feelings. We can accurately express our feelings and needs to those around us and our loved ones. Only after accurately expressing ourselves can the other party understand us better, support us more, and care for us more. Then we can have what we hope for and be able to mutually satisfy each other's needs and grow together.

Everyone has a lifestyle that's perfect for them. There's no need to envy others. We just need to find a lifestyle that's right for us. Let's find one that's harmonious and pleasant, relaxed and happy!

Hello, I just wanted to send a quick, friendly hug to you.

You have brought up an intriguing topic, and it is evident that you possess keen observation skills and a thoughtful approach.

It is true that some people in life may have difficulty with emotional intelligence, but they are able to cope and function well in society.

It is worth noting that there is no unified standard in this world. A person's ability to live a good life may be influenced by a range of factors, including emotional intelligence, in addition to other considerations. It is challenging to make generalizations, and the fairness of such generalizations is also a matter of perspective.

Some parents may have different views on how to teach their children to be polite.

In general, being polite is not necessarily an annoying quality. However, some parents may feel that being assertive, not taking any losses, and speaking one's mind are effective ways to avoid being bullied.

As you mentioned, there are individuals who may exhibit rude behavior and seem to lack emotional intelligence. It's not uncommon to observe children who are supported by their parents, even if they display challenging behaviors.

Secondly, it is important to recognize that everyone has many sides to their personality, and what we see may not necessarily reflect the full picture of a person.

For example, we may present ourselves differently in different situations. With friends, we may be more informal and argumentative, which can sometimes come across as rude. However, this is how many people interact with their friends.

However, it is unlikely that one would engage in such a discussion with one's boss.

We also tend to employ different coping strategies when interacting with different individuals. When dealing with polite individuals, we often find ourselves reciprocating their politeness. However, if someone is rude, it might be challenging to navigate the situation effectively if we continue to respond in a polite manner.

For instance, if someone were to bump into you and keep saying sorry, you might find yourself responding with something like, "Oh, that's okay."

However, if someone were to bump into you and say something like, "Are you blind?" it's understandable that you might feel the urge to respond in a more aggressive manner, even if you're still polite.

I would like to share a very inspiring saying that I have come across recently: "Your kindness must be a little sharp."

Another saying I've heard is, "Speak to people as they are, speak to ghosts as they are."

It is worth noting that when dealing with different people, we will likely employ different strategies for fostering positive interactions.

While being polite, not hurting others, and having high emotional intelligence are all important, they cannot be the only aspects.

I am often both Buddhist and pessimistic, an occasionally positive and motivated counselor, and I believe that the world is a wonderful place.

Hello, questioner.

I can see that you are resentful. You have been taught from an early age to suppress a lot of anger and aggression, haven't you? So when you see people who can express their views freely and even be aggressive, your first reaction is indignation. You think, "How can they speak and act like that without being punished?"

It's not fair! You feel cheated by the adults, don't you?

What's even more infuriating is that you've already cultivated this restrained character. If you really learn to be unrestrained and aggressive, you may not be able to do it.

[Temperance and repressing emotions]

As we grow up, we make all kinds of wrong turns for various reasons. One of them is our wrong beliefs. We trust authority too much and accept educational principles without questioning them. Adults teach us to be courteous and polite, but they forget to give us a way to defend ourselves. When you are treated impolitely, you don't fight back or defend your dignity. You expect society to punish the other person.

Kindness is important, but so is having a little edge. You are kind, gentle, modest, and accommodating, and you're not in the abyss of sin and loneliness. The other person is rude and annoying, but they enjoy life. You conclude that "good people don't always get rewarded," but isn't that a bit one-sided?

Everyone has emotions. People with self-control know how to control their emotions. People without self-control take their emotions and pour them out on others like dirty water. There's no question that people with self-control have more options when faced with challenges. This reminds me of the classic line from the movie "Green Book": They don't have a choice, but you do.

A person who cherishes their integrity is no better off than a bird cherishing its feathers. A vulgar person can lead a rich and carefree life, and an elegant person will experience the trials and tribulations of life. But a person with self-control and restraint will always have more options when faced with challenges.

That's the advantage.

[Defend your own garden of hearts]

When you encounter a mad dog, you can choose to drive it away with a stick or take a detour. However, crouching down and tearing at the mad dog together is not the best strategy. Calmly and politely expressing your anger is enough.

I am a psychological counselor, Zhang Huili. I am confident that my answer will be helpful to you. If you find it useful, please give me a like.

Hello, The questioner,

People with low emotional intelligence who speak badly are also doing well. Their family members have taught them to speak well and be polite. People with low emotional intelligence who are also doing well understand your feelings and mood.

This is normal. Most people don't have high emotional intelligence or be considerate of others. But who should we consider? Should we really consider others' feelings?

Everyone is different.

If someone doesn't care about other people's feelings, they probably don't deserve our consideration. So do we still need to consider other people's feelings? As long as we don't do anything illegal, we can do whatever we want.

I think:

Consider others' feelings when dealing with them.

Treat your loved ones, partners, and friends with respect and don't say hurtful things.

[2] Low emotional intelligence is just superficial.

He's rude because he doesn't see others. Maybe he's just being polite, or he's disrespectful. If he meets someone who respects him, he'll also become polite.

[3] Be polite in return.

If someone is polite to us, we should be polite back. If someone is rude to us, we don't have to be rude back. If someone respects our boundaries, we should respect theirs.

Everyone deserves love.

Those with low emotional intelligence have unfair advantages, but everyone is worthy of having them. This involves uncontrollable factors, as well as opportunities, personal reasons, etc. With the right time, place, people, and circumstances, people will always like and hate such people. No matter what kind of person it is, everyone is worthy of having them.

If you can see how you perceive this aspect, emotional intelligence can help you. You have to work hard and be in the right place at the right time to gain things.

I hope these opinions help you.

Hi there, I hope my answer is helpful to you in some way.

After reading your description, I can see how you feel. I went through something similar for a while. As my own perception improved, I realized that I can only control a limited amount. People in this world have different levels of perception and energy. Everyone has different life experiences, educational backgrounds, and living environments. So, everyone's behavior patterns and values are different. This is what we mean by "the diversity of all living beings." Emotional intelligence isn't about suppressing your needs or hiding your true self to satisfy others. It's about expressing your true feelings and thoughts while accepting yourself and others. This allows you to express yourself consistently. It's also an expression of self-acceptance and strength.

So, to answer your question, here are a few things I've been thinking about:

We can't control what other people say or do, except for ourselves. If we worry about what they should do, we'll be troubled all the time.

I've found a quote from a book that's really helped me with some of my interpersonal relationship issues. It's called "A Change of Heart," and it says, "There are only three things in the world: your own affairs, other people's affairs, and the affairs of heaven." When I can distinguish between my own affairs, other people's affairs, and the affairs of heaven, I feel a lot more relaxed in my relationships.

I know that I can control my own actions and thoughts, but I can't control what other people do or think. I also know that certain things, like events, natural disasters, and the general environment, are out of my control.

When I focus on my own work and stop trying to control other people's work, I feel much more relaxed. In the past, I couldn't stand many people's practices and thought they should do things and treat others just as I expected them to. However, I would get frustrated because they wouldn't change. They're who they are. They'll only change if they want to. But most people won't deliberately grow and improve, so they'll continue to repeat their patterns and won't change.

So, it's important to understand the difference between what we can and can't control. Once you know that, you'll know what to accept and what to change. We can't control other people's thoughts and actions, so we have to accept that. We can, however, change our expectations of others and adjust our own thoughts to make ourselves feel more comfortable and at ease.

This way, you won't get so tangled up in other people's behavior. You can let go of your ideal expectations and accept how they really are.

2. We tend to think some people are rude and don't care about others' feelings because we judge everyone by the same standards. But everyone's different, so it's no surprise they act differently.

I used to get pretty upset when I saw people not meeting my standards. I'm very motivated and self-improving, so I tend to see people who are lazy and unmotivated and think they're doing a bad job. I'm used to saying hello and bringing gifts when I visit someone's home, so I feel that others should greet me when they see me and bring gifts when they visit my home. This has caused me a lot of trouble because there are always people who don't meet my standards, which makes me disappointed and frustrated.

As we mentioned earlier, it's tough to control how other people think. They won't always act the way you expect. This is because everyone has a different upbringing, which shapes their different views. For example, you may think it's best to be careful about the way you speak, not say hurtful things, and be polite.

Some people don't grow up in the same environment. They may have been neglected by their parents, may have lost their parents at an early age, or may have been abused as children. Plus, everyone is born with a different personality. Some people are choleric and have a quick temper. They may have difficulty being mindful of the way they speak. But they are kind-hearted. That's why there are so many different people in the world. Everyone is different, but there is a reason for each person's existence, as well as their own needs. As long as they don't break the law, they are allowed to exist as they are.

So, we should try to let go of our own standards and try to understand why they act the way they do. Once you understand, you'll naturally be able to accept them and you won't be bothered by their actions.

3. When it comes to our relationships with other people, we can choose not to be close to those we don't like. We should focus on building relationships with people who share the same values as us and who we're comfortable being around. In other words, we should seek out supportive relationships and socialize more with people who share our frequency.

If you don't like people who have different values than you, you can choose not to get too close to them. You want them to conform to your values, and maybe they want you to approve of them. If the differences are too great, it will be easy to have fierce conflicts, which will in turn do great harm to the relationship. We need friends and interpersonal relationships, but we can choose who we get close to.

As Mr. Zeng Qifeng said, people are social animals. The more relationships you have, the more you benefit, and the faster and better you grow. A nourishing relationship should be one that is full of trust and friendship, and one that gives both love and freedom.

As a person gains more and more of these nourishing, loving relationships, they become bolder in pursuing happiness and success.

So, get to know more people who think like you and make more friends who share your values. These relationships can also help you to move on from negative relationships, and bring more positivity into your life.

I hope this was helpful for you. Best wishes!