I find myself rebelling against control freaks now, middle-aged rebellion?

From your question, I can sense that you are a kind person who often thinks about others. When faced with a controlling relative, you may attribute the cause of the disharmony to yourself, as if it is only reasonable to take care of them and obey them.

Dealing with people who are highly controlling can often make us feel a bit uncomfortable, and it's understandable that we might want to rebel in such a situation.

However, in your description, it seems that your reaction may be perceived as unreasonable, and you even call it rebellion. This is something to consider.

I would like to respectfully propose that we consider this topic from two aspects: cause analysis and coping methods.

It would be beneficial to consider the following analysis of the causes:

It would seem that there may be a number of reasons for this change in behaviour.

Firstly, it is important to note that obedience can be a reaction that suppresses one's inner resentment. However, prolonged suppression may result in the accumulation of energy within, which could potentially lead to a rebellion. When this energy reaches a certain level, it may manifest through words or actions. It is understandable that this may seem sudden, but it is important to recognise that it is often the result of gradual accumulation.

Secondly, it could be said that submission is merely a stance taken to maintain the relationship. However, it is possible that deep down, there may be resentment towards the control. This could result in a constant testing of the other party's limits in order to protect one's own interests. It is understandable that conflict may arise from both parties attempting to break through these limits during such a test.

Third, as a result of their own personal growth and evolution, the originally submissive approach may no longer align with their evolving hearts. As their hearts grow stronger, they may find themselves with the strength to resist control, which could manifest in their words and actions.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider a few possible reasons for this change in behaviour.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider the following:

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider the following:

How might we approach this?

Regardless of the reason for the conflict, it is important to recognize that control can potentially infringe upon the boundaries of others. It is also a normal reaction to feel uncomfortable in the face of control. Could we consider accepting and affirming this normal reaction in ourselves?

Obedience can be a way to avoid conflict, while resistance can be a way to protect one's boundaries. It depends on the person and the situation which approach is taken.

Obedience can be a way to avoid conflict, while resistance can be a way to protect one's boundaries. It may be helpful to consider which approach is most appropriate in a given situation and with a particular individual.

The core principle is self-boundaries. It may be helpful to think carefully about what we must defend and what we can concede.

It may be helpful to consider that resisting the inviolable may convey to others that it should not be violated, while submitting to the negotiable could indicate that we value the relationship.

Ultimately, if you are happy, it will have a positive effect on those around you. It is important to accept yourself, defend yourself, love yourself, and cherish yourself from the inside out, as this will enable you to contribute more to your family.

My name is Teng Ying, and I'm a psychological counselor at One Psychological. I hope I can be of help to you.

My name is Teng Ying, and I am a psychological counselor at One Mind. I hope that I can be of some assistance to you.

Greetings. I am the repository of tranquility.

In middle age, individuals typically exhibit a desire to assert their autonomy and resist the control exerted by those in positions of authority, including their mothers and spouses.

The question employs the emoticons "covering one's face" and "bursting into tears and laughter," which warrants further examination. Could these emoticons be interpreted as expressions of embarrassment?

Or is it merely an attempt to disguise one's inner helplessness, resentment, and perhaps a hint of anger with a smile?

In examining the concept of rebellion, it becomes evident that the core idea is encapsulated in the three words "disobedience." Consequently, it is essential to ascertain whether your current attitude towards them implies these three words.

In the past, you would dictate my actions, and I would comply. You would prescribe my identity, and I would adopt it. In short, I was a mere puppet, devoid of independent thought, opinions, and aspirations.

It appears that you are no longer amenable to being controlled. I am intrigued as to whether this is a recent development or if it has been a long-standing sentiment that you have been reluctant to express for an extended period. Alternatively, it is possible that you simply lack the requisite skills to articulate it effectively.

"Currently, I am experiencing difficulties in my interpersonal relationships, leading to the emergence of conflicts."

Please describe the nature of the conflict in detail.

Please describe your emotional state and your immediate response to the situation.

In the event of a conflict, how does the other party respond? Is their reaction verbal, physical, or non-verbal?

Describe the emotional state experienced at the time of the conflict. How does this compare to your emotional state prior to the conflict?

What are your feelings when you have been in a submissive state before? Do you accept this state of affairs, or do you find it distressing and painful?

In the event that an individual is experiencing depressive and painful emotions, it would be beneficial to ascertain whether they have attempted to implement strategies to enhance their emotional state.

Please describe the pattern of interaction between you and your mother and husband in your daily life. Please also describe your feelings in this regard.

What was the impetus for your current act of defiance? What precipitated the emergence of these thoughts and actions? Was it a decision to cease tolerating the situation?

Or was there a particular event that served as the catalyst for this behavior?

The question thus arises as to whether this is rebellion. It is, therefore, incumbent upon the individual to ascertain the answer to this question for themselves.

As the individual with the most experience and knowledge of their own problems, the final decision regarding the situation and their feelings lies with them.

Indeed, the phenomenon of "rebellion" may not be inherently negative. When individuals possess self-awareness, engage in self-growth, demonstrate courage in challenging themselves, and are willing to take action, they may experience a profound shift in their emotional state.

Dear Questioner, After reading your question, I am prompted to reflect on my own experiences. I previously exhibited a tendency to be submissive.

Often, they compromise themselves to make others feel comfortable. Over time, the people around them will perceive their strength and control as justified, and believe that they are being benevolent towards me, without realizing that I am acquiescing out of consideration for them. When they are controlling me, they may assert that it is all for my own good, because they feel that only if I do what they tell me is it right. If I make my own decisions, it seems to them that it is all kinds of inappropriate.

If there is any distinction between us, it is that you have a robust maternal figure and I have a formidable sister.

It is frequently the case that the ability of relatives to exert dominance over us is a consequence of our own acquiescence over time. There is a well-known saying in psychology that states, "People's attitudes towards you are what you teach them."

A similar dynamic can be observed in the relationship between relatives and their relatives. When a relative assumes a dominant position, the other may choose to obey and tolerate in order to avoid conflict.

In their experience, this is how successful outcomes are achieved. People are inclined to replicate their own successful experiences, whether in their actions or in their interpersonal interactions.

As individuals mature and gain experience, they often desire autonomy. After all, every independent individual has the need to decide their own way of life.

At this juncture, it is perceived that those in a position of authority are exerting control, regardless of whether they are cognizant of doing so. However, from our perspective, it is a perception of being controlled.

In such circumstances, it is only to be expected that the individual will rebel. Those in a position of authority are accustomed to obedience, and will therefore be uncomfortable when it is not forthcoming.

Therefore, it is permissible for the relationship to experience a brief period of discomfort.

The question then becomes: what is the appropriate course of action? Previously, I had been inclined to disregard their approach, allowing their demands and attempts at control to dissipate without effect.

Subsequently, it became apparent that this was an ineffective strategy, as it could readily result in a state of prolonged discord.

Following numerous instances of repeated attempts, arguments, and even some conflicts, I have learned to express my feelings directly. For instance, when I am engaged in academic pursuits, I will inform them that I require an uninterrupted study environment and request that they refrain from disturbing me unless there is a matter of significant importance.

To illustrate, if I purchase an item of clothing that I find appealing, despite the opinions of others, I will assert my preference and intention to wear it. Similarly, if my husband asserts that the practice of men engaging in domestic tasks is antithetical to Chinese tradition,

It could be argued that traditionally women have not been expected to engage in paid employment. Now that I have a job, I am not superhuman and I become tired after work.

At the outset of my efforts to advocate for myself, my voice was frequently overpowered by the strength of those with opposing views. However, I persisted in expressing my opinions. My approach was characterized by a balance of gentleness and assertiveness.

I simply reiterated my requests, with the intention of fostering a constructive dialogue rather than creating discord.

Subsequently, they came to understand that even when they interacted with me in a forceful manner, they could not influence my decision. As a result, they gradually learned to compromise. The former disharmony has now become a new harmonious way of interacting.

Indeed, if one continues to obey unquestioningly in middle age and lacks the capacity for independent decision-making and critical thinking, it is a rather disagreeable state of affairs. After all, every life is an independent entity.

Even those with whom we are intimately acquainted are unable to act on our behalf.

It is my hope that my account can serve as a source of reference for you and that it will prove beneficial to you in some way.

It is important to recall that the world and we hold you in high regard.