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By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024
Hello, my name is Qingyi, and I am a psychodynamic counselor.
From your description of the problem, I can sense your inner pain, despair, and helplessness. It appears to be asking, "Is this how I'm going to be for the rest of my life? Do I have to experience this pain repeatedly?"
I had thought that my depression was behind me, but I discovered that after encountering a stressful event, the symptoms returned. I can still sense that you have a great deal of anger inside you. Some of this anger is directed outward, for example, at the person or stressful event that caused you stress. Of course, a great deal of this anger is directed at yourself, which makes you think about suicide.
It is important to recognize that when someone is experiencing a depressive episode, they are likely to be in a state of significant distress and despair. In such moments, it is not uncommon for individuals to feel a sense of hopelessness and desire to end their lives as a means of escaping the pain. However, it is crucial to understand that these feelings are temporary and that emotions will come and go.
From what you have shared, it seems that your previous experience with depression may have been successfully resolved, and that your current episode may be a separate occurrence. I have observed that many individuals describe depression as a "mental cold," and there seems to be some truth in that analogy. Just as we can become positive for the new coronavirus, we have the potential to improve after rest and treatment. However, if we do not pay attention to our external environment and do not strengthen our internal immunity, we may still become infected again or even more times. This does not imply that the new coronavirus will persist indefinitely and that we will never recover. It simply suggests that we may become reinfected.
Of course, we all want to avoid falling ill again, whether physically or mentally. To this end, we may need to consider making some adjustments in the following two areas:
It may be helpful to consider ways of improving your immunity and enhancing your ability to resist illness. In addition, it could be beneficial to focus on enhancing your ability to withstand pressure. This could involve participating in physical exercise, relaxation training, meditation, yoga, and dancing, or finding someone to talk to. If you don't have any family or friends nearby, there are currently many psychological hotlines that can provide help, and Yi Xinli also provides listening services. If you still feel unable to regulate, you may wish to consider seeking professional help from a psychological counselor.
Secondly, it may be helpful to consider ways of reducing or eliminating external stressors and irritants. By adjusting or changing, avoiding some stressors and irritants, you may be able to stay away, hide if you can; if you really can't stay away, you might like to explore ways of saving the situation in other ways, without facing it directly, and perhaps you can regulate and improve a little.
You have already overcome depression once, and that experience is actually very valuable. It may be helpful to remember that everything will pass, that emotions will come and go. While it can be challenging to be with them, it may be more difficult and painful to fight against them.
I truly believe that you have the power to usher in your own dawn.
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Comments
It sounds like you've been through a really tough journey with depression, and it's understandable to feel disheartened when it comes back despite all your efforts. It must be incredibly frustrating to feel like you're back at square one after making so much progress.
Depression can indeed feel like an endless cycle, but that doesn't mean it's incurable. Recovery is often not linear, and setbacks are part of the process. You've shown great resilience in seeking help and trying different approaches. Maybe this time around, you can focus on what worked before and build on that strength.
I'm sorry you're going through this again. It's hard to see your hard work seemingly undone. But remember, each time you face it, you gain more insight into what helps you cope. This experience, while painful, might give you new tools for managing your mental health.
Your story resonates deeply with me. It's heartbreaking to feel like you're losing ground after working so hard to recover. However, the fact that you're reaching out and acknowledging your feelings is a sign of strength. Keep holding on; there are people who care and resources available to support you.
Feeling like you're stuck in a loop of depression can be incredibly isolating. It's important to recognize that relapses don't define your overall progress. You've proven your ability to bounce back before, and with the right support, you can do it again. Take it one step at a time, and don't hesitate to seek help when you need it.