I happen to like guys who are not approved by my family. What kind of partner should I find?

Hello. From your description, it's clear that your boyfriend is not accepted by his family, and you're unsure what kind of partner to look for. Before discussing the problem, I'd like to give you a big hug to show you I support you.

Ultimately, the question of "what kind of boyfriend should I find?" is about meeting your needs. You'll be spending the rest of your life with this person, so it's crucial to make sure you're right for each other. If you don't feel right for each other, it will be difficult to live together in harmony, let alone achieve a happy and successful marriage.

Your family has a point. As you said, "the other person's family is not well-off and their job is not stable." These are very real issues that will have a significant impact on your future life. Money is not everything, but it's impossible to do without it. It's no wonder you're facing a guy you like but who is not suitable for marriage. You don't know what kind of partner you really want.

You need to consider this question: Do you care more about emotional satisfaction or material wealth? A perfect combination of the two is ideal. If there's a difference, how big of a difference can you accept? The answer to this question will solve your doubts.

The above are my personal views, for reference only. Take care of yourself.

Hello, host! I'm so honored to answer your question. From what you've shared, it seems like you've been in two relationships, but your family wasn't fully on board with either of your partners. It's understandable that they had concerns about the man's job stability and overall suitability.

Your family would love for you to find someone who is at least as good as they are in terms of family status and financial strength, or even better than they are! They want to feel secure and valued, and they want you to find someone who will make them feel that way too.

It's interesting how, regardless of gender, people tend to judge their partners based on their own experiences and ways of thinking, rather than on how they feel about their opposite-sex elders. I've noticed that many girls in relationships tend to approve of their fathers subconsciously, and often find boyfriends who are more like their fathers in terms of personality. If they don't approve of their fathers, they'll often overcompensate by finding boyfriends who are the opposite of their fathers.

From what I can see, it seems like you don't have the best relationship with your dad in your original family. I get the feeling that you might not be too keen on the families of your boyfriends either.

It's totally normal to feel unsure about finding a boyfriend and to still rely on your family in some ways. We all need a little help sometimes! While you may seem to others to be completely independent, you still rely on your family, to a greater or lesser extent. I also understand that in today's society, where there is so much pressure to succeed, most young people cannot escape the need to rely on their family.

The relationship between a good boyfriend and the original family is something we all have to go through at some point in our lives.

On the subject of your love life, we can try this method. Ball, your family members recommend a few love goals. Why not try contacting them and choose the one you are satisfied with?

Not all problems in life have perfect answers, but there is always an optimal solution. I am happy to have a date in 1983. The world and I love you!

To assuage your distress and confusion.

Firstly, your question evokes the song "Prefer You." Primarily, it is essential to consider the characteristics of the prospective partner, rather than prioritizing familial conditions.

The family conditions mentioned by your family are understandable, but the term "unfit for marriage" is unclear. In short, you may meet someone you like and who likes you back, which is a valuable experience. You must value this experience and not worry about what your family thinks.

Secondly, the family's opinion is to be considered and evaluated from the individual's perspective. It should be noted that the characterization of their work as "unstable" is a subjective assessment, and ultimately, the decision-making process depends on the individual's personal judgment and feelings.

An individual with a commendable character and a willingness to exert effort will undoubtedly prove more suitable than one who hails from a privileged background but exhibits a lack of motivation.

Third, the ideal partner is ultimately a serious and comprehensive proposition that requires a comprehensive consideration of all experiences, character, and circumstances. Given the limited information currently available, it is not possible to provide a definitive answer to this question.

Public number: Pretentious Young Man (ID: qingnianJIA2020), eager to maintain communication with you.

Yi Xinli Answering Questions Hall Mutual Aid Community, World, and I Love You >> https://m.xinli001.com/qa

Hello, I'd like to offer you a 360-degree hug.

Frankly, I'm not sure what kind of partner you should find. Many people are uncertain about this at first. There will undoubtedly be some requirements you don't want, such as domestic violence and smoking.

Many people are able to articulate their ideal partner, yet in practice, few individuals end up marrying the person they initially envisioned. Even when this occurs, it's important to recognize that life is not a fairy tale and that it encompasses a range of everyday experiences.

In a previous article, I suggested that we often end up marrying the person we least expect.

While the type of partner you find is important, what matters more is how you manage the relationship. As the saying goes, it's important to be a good person, find someone, and then work hard to manage your life, your marriage, and yourself.

I have found that it is possible to have no standards when looking for a partner, but it is also important to have the ability to manage the relationship, rational awareness, and the ability to deal with uncertainty.

This is a response to what kind of partner you should find. You may wish to consider including a few additional criteria, such as height, age, education, etc. However, it is also important to be flexible and open to possibilities.

Of course, if you feel strongly that you don't want to, you should feel free to follow your own path. I would gently suggest the book "How to Avoid Growing Old Alone," which offers guidance on how to find a partner.

This book could be seen as a guide to finding a partner, offering insights on how to refine your own standards. Even if you believe you have no standards and prefer to go with the flow, it's likely that you do have some standards.

I hope this book will help you gain insight into your own preferences and assist you in identifying a suitable partner. I also hope it will provide some inspiration along the way.

Additionally, there is another question about what kind of person you would like to marry. From your questions, it seems that family members have a significant influence in this matter.

It seems that you may have allowed your family to influence your decision to some extent. This could be because you are unsure of what kind of person you want, or it could be that your family is offering you guidance based on their experiences.

It would be beneficial to agree on this standard and have a consistent one in place. It would also be helpful to ensure that the standard is detailed enough to be measurable, as this will make it easier to find the right person.

You might also consider speaking with a counselor.

I am a counselor who is often Buddhist and sometimes tends to see the world in a more pessimistic light. However, I also have moments of positivity and motivation.

Dear questioner, I can discern your longing for intimacy and the pain and helplessness you experience when you are not accepted by your parents. I extend to you a warm embrace.

Let us examine together the true meaning of marriage and the best ways to prepare for it.

In the text Marriage: A Fortress of Happiness, the author elucidates the meaning of marriage.

The determining factor in the success of a marriage is the couple's beliefs about the purpose of life and the means of achieving it, as well as their commitment and expectations of each other, which are based on these beliefs. It is therefore important to ascertain what the individual's beliefs about life are.

Do they believe that the family is well-off and that employment is stable? If uncertainty persists, it is advisable to gain a deeper understanding of one's own beliefs and values.

A lack of self-knowledge may result in individuals making decisions that are detrimental to their well-being or making commitments they are unable to fulfill.

In preparing for marriage, it is essential to gain an understanding of the character of the other person. A happy marriage is a mutual commitment between two individuals that unites them mentally and emotionally. It is crucial for each party to gain a comprehensive understanding of the other person's character to ensure that the marriage contract is a lasting one.

The objective for the couple is to become loving partners and like-minded friends who will remain together indefinitely.

It is important to evaluate the other person's relationships.

A robust public persona can occlude certain aspects of an individual's character. Therefore, it is crucial to observe your prospective partner in the company of others and ascertain the caliber of his intimate associates. If an individual is unable to treat others with courtesy and respect, it is probable that he will not extend such treatment to his future family. If his friends appear markedly disparate from him, it is likely that they do not truly know him and his authentic character.

Individuals exhibiting possessiveness, greed, jealousy, and authoritarian behavior may be considered to be lacking in maturity and preparedness for marriage. In general, relationships tend to be stable if people are grateful, sensitive to the feelings of others, and maintain inner happiness.

Furthermore, the capacity to engage in humor and share moments of levity with others is indicative of maturity and preparedness for marriage.

Conversely, a lack of preparedness for marriage is indicated by a tendency to take everything for granted, a paucity of laughter, a proclivity for constant complaining, and a dearth of gratitude.

An additional crucial method for comprehending an individual's character is to analyze their relationship with their parents. In numerous instances, this can provide insight into the potential for that person to act as a spouse or parent, as individuals often emulate their parents in these two domains.

Children who are raised in happy, stable, and complete families are best prepared for marriage, as they are consistently exposed to positive role models.

In sum, one can transcendently assess one's readiness for marriage. In the process of getting to know the true nature of the other person, one can determine whether one's choice reflects wisdom. If both parties reflect those basic qualities in their behavior and interpersonal relationships that ensure the stability of the marriage, they are likely to successfully cope with the difficulties and necessary adjustments that will be encountered in married life.

I am a listening therapist, Zhang Huili. You are invited to engage in a therapeutic conversation with me. Together, we can explore our inner selves and gain a deeper understanding of both our familiar and unfamiliar aspects.

Hello, dear question asker. I can see how you must be feeling right now. You're caught between confusion and struggle, and the emotional problems and relationship issues you're experiencing now involve not only relationships with the opposite sex, but also problems with your parents and family. The question asker's inner confusion and struggle have brought them a lot of difficult experiences. Let's take a moment to analyze the problem together.

First of all, the questioner said that none of the parents she talked to liked it, thinking that the job was unstable. I'd love to know more about what kind of work it is exactly, and also what kind of work parents usually consider stable.

Have you had a chance to chat with your parents about this? I'd love to know how they see the other person's character and personal qualities!

It's totally normal for there to be differences in thinking between two generations. This can lead to differences in every aspect of life. Parents often want to control and participate in their children's habits, which can make us feel constrained. I can also understand the questioner's internal struggle. I don't want to hurt them, but at the same time I hurt the man and myself. This is something we can work through together. We can start by asking whether the other person is really like their parents say. Unstable work may just be temporary. It depends on whether he is motivated, responsible, and has a plan for the future. Then whether the work is stable may not be so important to the parents, but the character of the person is crucial. This also needs to be viewed carefully by the questioner.

I'm really sorry to hear you gave up on a guy you liked, but who wasn't right for you in the long run. It's never easy to end a relationship, especially when you've got feelings for someone. It takes a lot of courage to do that. I can tell you're feeling pretty down about it, and you need a lot of understanding and support. I'm here for you, and I'm really sorry you're going through this. Let's figure out why he's not right for you. Is it because of your parents' standards, or do you feel deep down that he's not the right person for you? Maybe you're just ignoring the problems because you like him, but you need to figure out what's best for you.

Once you figure this out, it'll be easy to solve!

I'd like to offer some advice to the original poster. 1. Choosing a spouse is an important decision that will accompany us for the rest of our lives. It's so important to remember that the decision is ours to make, and the choice is also ours. What others say can only be advice, not something that must be followed. We need to have our own clear judgment and discernment.

2: Our parents love us, and we love them right back. But we also need to remember that we're our own people, with our own minds and lives. It's important to find our own path and be able to handle things on our own. That way, we can also take responsibility for our own decisions and risks. 3: If our parents don't like the person we like, it's always best to talk to them first. Open communication is the best way to resolve any issues. Don't rush to make a decision. Take the time to understand how they see the person you like. Don't let your feelings cloud your judgment. And don't be afraid to stand up for yourself. Learn to judge for yourself, don't argue with our loved ones, communicate properly, and handle problems calmly.

Hello! It seems like you're looking for a partner, but you're not quite sure what you want. I can see that you have a favorite guy, and I think you're on the right track. It's just that your parents don't think it's a good match, so you're not sure about your own feelings. You're still not firm enough, but that's okay! There's no good or bad in the types of people you like; it's all about the character. We don't want to be brainwashed in love, but we can be the masters of our own destiny. I hope my answer is helpful to you!

Hello, questioner!

You had two relationships, and you chose both men yourself. You gave up, but you know you made the right choice. You feel reluctant and sad, don't you? [Hug]

You gave up on two relationships because of disapproval from your family. But you know you like them and you're not going to give up.

"Why give up when you clearly like it?" I will find the right partner for me.

It's confusing, period.

As can be seen from these two relationships, you attach great importance to your parents' opinions and respect them very much. Your parents have gained a certain amount of experience in life, work, marriage, and family management, and you value their opinions as a result.

They want to use their experience to help you avoid making mistakes and suffering. That's how they think you can benefit.

One generation is at a different stage of social development than the next, with different material conditions and different spiritual needs. While there are some experiences we can learn from, they are not always completely applicable.

Our generation of young people is different. Material conditions are important, but our spiritual needs are different from those of our parents' generation.

They need to have common topics to talk about, be able to chat, and find more joy in life. Just like their jobs are different, they work during the day, and then come home in the evening to eat, chat, and play together. On weekends, they can go to the movies or travel or do other hobbies.

You'll pursue spiritual things more. You liked your last two boyfriends. What did you like about them?

You can handle this. You know what you want, and you'll get it.

The man's family's financial situation is not good or his job is unstable, but these are not permanent conditions. The man is a motivated and hardworking person, so as long as he is willing to put in the work, even if at the beginning the material conditions are a bit tight,

But with hard work, conditions will improve. Work together and support and encourage each other, and the relationship will become stronger and more valuable. You will understand each other better.

You must sort out your own spiritual and material needs. You need to know exactly what you want for yourself.

You must also understand that the views of parents of the older generation will be different from yours. Their starting point is undoubtedly for our own good.

When everything is clear in your mind and you encounter a new relationship you like, and you encounter opposition from your parents, you can choose an appropriate opportunity to slowly communicate with your parents. Tell them what you like and what they worry about. When you present everything to your parents, they will see your own ideas, plans, and responsibility. They may not be as worried or as opposed.

I am confident that my thoughts will be of some help to you.