I have discovered that I have a tendency towards a pleasing personality. What should I do?

Hello!

You said you hope someone will save you. You can save yourself. Your heart will guide you.

The questioner is distressed by academic pressure. In a competitive environment, you need inner peace and someone who cares for you unconditionally. Family members may not be able to provide this.

If you feel good about yourself, you're less likely to feel bad.

If someone asks for help, it means they trust you. Work together without worrying about being perfect.

In social situations, give yourself space. Accept your own pace.

Respecting others means understanding their differences. It doesn't mean giving up respect for yourself.

A nice personality makes you feel worse about yourself.

Find love in your life. Let love fill your heart. If you rely on others for love and attention, you will become trapped.

You can save yourself.

You will become stronger.

Hello! I can feel your worries from your description, and I'm excited to help you overcome them!

First, let's dive into the fascinating world of emotional development!

The pressure of studying for high school entrance exams is high, and you feel inferior because you can't keep up. This affects your interpersonal relationships, and you find it hard to say no to other people's requests. But don't worry! There are ways to overcome these challenges and build stronger relationships.

This is almost interlinked, and ultimately reaches a level that causes you pain, and your body responds accordingly, with chest tightness, etc.

Now for the fun part! Let's talk about how to relieve these emotions.

First, learn to observe and feel your emotions and find your own inner needs. When someone asks for help, how do you feel? Happy? Absolutely!

Happy? Flattered?

Feeling recognized? Great! Feeling distressed? That's okay, we all feel that way sometimes.

Or are you feeling disgusted?

Second, it's time to embrace all of your feelings! No matter what they are, accept them, understand yourself, and don't judge.

It's so important to remember that whether it's a positive or negative evaluation, the evaluation itself can be destructive. So, only accept things like, "Oh, I see, that's what you think," or "I see, that's how you feel," and so on.

Third, learn to say no! If you are worried that saying no directly will affect your interpersonal relationships, then say no tactfully.

If someone asks for your help and you feel positive about it, and you are willing to help, then accept it gladly! If it is negative, then learn to say no.

You can say something like this: "I really want to help you, but I have something to do and I don't have time. I will definitely help you next time I have the chance!"

Once you've said "no" a few times, people will stop asking you to do their chores!

And remember, improvement in grades doesn't happen overnight! Give yourself time to improve, and don't forget to encourage yourself when you get good grades.

You've got this! Fight on! Best of luck!

A "pleasing personality" is one that is obsessed with pleasing others and ignores one's own feelings. It is a potentially unhealthy behavior pattern, but it can be transformed into a healthy one! People with low self-confidence and inferiority complexes are more likely to have a pleasing personality, so it's important to recognize when you're exhibiting these traits and take steps to shift your mindset.

1. You downplay others' rejections, but when you reject others, you feel like you've made a huge mistake. This is something you can definitely work on!

2. When helping others, they are extra careful and thoughtful, and they feel a sense of duty to help. They're just so afraid of being rejected that they never ask for help!

3. I'm learning to show my bad moods and cry without fear that my negative energy will affect others.

The questioner currently has some minor physical problems, with symptoms of chest tightness. This kind of physical symptom should be caused by or occur at the same time as emotions such as depression. I don't know how long these symptoms have lasted for the questioner. If it has been more than half a year, I suggest that the questioner seek professional psychological counseling to better help you. I'm excited to see what happens next!

First, you must learn to accept yourself, your depressed emotional state, and physical symptoms. Think about it: we entered the experimental class, and now in this era of internalized learning, the pressure is very high. The questioner does not have the psychological guidance of parents, and as a high school student, it is very difficult to adapt and bear alone; it is very normal to have depressed emotions when you cannot keep up with your grades and cannot accept it psychologically. But you can overcome this!

But the questioner is very good! They know they need help, and my sister is here to support them. This is the first step to getting better!

Let's dive in and analyze it again! What is the reason behind the depressed mood and the personality of pleasing others?

1. You have high expectations of yourself and like to compare yourself to your classmates, which is great!

We can learn to compare ourselves only with yesterday, which is a great way to reduce our stress!

2. Is my personality dull and uninteresting? I'm afraid that my classmates don't want to play with me. This is a need for social interaction. Could it be that the questioner has had this kind of thinking since childhood, that I always have to play with the people around me and get along with everyone? But wait! There's more to it than that!

I want to leave you with these words: "When the flowers bloom, the butterflies will come." Get ready for it! When we learn to do everything well in the present, someone will come to be your friend.

3. You can overcome your vulnerability and relieve stress! It's just a definition you've given yourself. Whenever you experience something, don't avoid it. Face it bravely, and you'll be stronger next time. There are many ways to relieve stress, such as exercising appropriately, keeping a diary, and confiding in your classmates about your stress. They might empathize with you and become good friends!

What can we gain from depressive moods and a pleasing personality type, and what do they mean to us?

Absolutely! When we're aware of physical symptoms, depressed moods, and ingratiating behavior patterns, it's a clear sign that we need to adjust our cognitive and behavioral patterns. And when we're aware that we should make the right comparisons, do the right thing, and pay attention to our feelings, we can absolutely bring about positive changes in our emotions!

Questioner, come on, be brave and be yourself! Every path you take is a wonderful adventure!

After reading your description and taking a closer look, I see there are three main issues:

There are many reasons for low self-esteem. In general, it's because in the past we've been held to high standards that we can't always meet. When we fall short, we're often rejected, ridiculed, questioned, and attacked by people we consider to be "authorities," which in turn causes us to have serious self-doubts.

Once we become adults, we tend to react to setbacks by feeling inadequate and experiencing a strong sense of low self-worth. We may even feel unworthy in response to the affirmation of others.

Adler once said, "We all have varying degrees of inferiority complex because we all want to be better and lead a better life." Even confident people can feel inferior sometimes. When something doesn't meet their expectations, it's easy to doubt yourself.

Some people can get out of their rut and tackle new challenges with a positive attitude, while others dwell on their shortcomings.

When you're feeling inferior, first recognize that you're in that mindset. Take a step back and observe yourself, don't dwell on it. Then ask yourself: Am I really worthless? Am I really bad at everything?

The answer is obviously no. Otherwise, you wouldn't be in the experimental class. There must be many highlights in your past experiences that you've overlooked, but you've automatically blocked them out when you experience inferiority.

If the answer is no, then we shouldn't let thoughts like "Why am I so bad?" and "I can't do anything right" stop us from being motivated.

Another thing to think about is whether it's really important to care what other people think.

Another thing to think about is whether it's really important to care what other people think.

If others say I'm bad, does that mean I really am? Is everything others say necessarily true?

Do I let other people decide my life? Think about it: is it wise to let other people decide your value?

What others say is just their opinion, and they have the right to express it. I let them express their opinions, but I have an even greater right not to be influenced by others and to be myself, don't I? We have the power to decide who we want to be and what kind of life we want to lead.

You mentioned you want to make friends with others, so you're trying to be a "good guy." There's nothing wrong with that, but it depends on how you approach it. If you help others willingly and happily, you're being a good guy.

You say you want to make friends with others, so you try to be a "good guy." Sometimes being a "good guy" is not a bad thing, but it depends on your state of mind. If you help others willingly and happily, it's not being a "good guy." It's your willingness to help. But if you're uncomfortable and unwilling but put yourself in a difficult position, you have to learn to say "no." You don't have to worry about others not liking you because of this. A person with boundaries and sovereignty can win the respect of others. If a person doesn't respect themselves, how can they expect others to respect them?

A good friend is based on equality of character to make sure the friendship lasts. Of course, if you reject someone, they may be unhappy or criticize you, but as long as you are sincere and have a clear conscience, I don't think you need to care what other people think.

Another thing to keep in mind is stress. When you're in an experimental class, there are a lot of experts around, so it's normal to feel a bit overwhelmed at first. In high school, what's tested more than anything is your mentality. If you're falling behind, you can always catch up. It's not about being at the top, but rather making a little progress each day.

I suggest you find a hobby that you enjoy, such as a sport, which can help you relax and keep fit. Another thing I think is to write in a diary every day, which is a great way to affirm and recognize yourself. You don't have to write a long essay, just record what small improvements you have made during the day, and affirm yourself little by little. Over time, you will definitely discover a different you, and you will definitely discover a wider sky.

If you're still feeling stressed, you can try some breathing exercises or meditation to help you relax. It's good to be aware that your body can feel stressed before your mind does. When you notice that your body is not feeling well, it's helpful to focus on your emotions.

If you're feeling overwhelmed, try taking a step back and looking at the big picture.

My dear, there's no obstacle in life that can't be overcome. What happened in the last second is already in the past. There's no need to make things difficult for yourself because of the past. You have endless possibilities in life. A temporary setback doesn't determine your future. Go after your dreams, laugh, sing, and fight. Believe in yourself and don't let your youth down.

From your question, I am curious to know if you are a high school student or already employed. Given your evident self-reflection and awareness, this is also the first step you have taken towards change, which is a rare inner strength.

You may wish to undertake a brief review of the process you have just described.

The inferiority complex resulting from past experiences has led to a tendency to avoid social interactions and engage in self-segregation.

In the past, we have chosen not to interact with others due to a protective instinct. This instinct protects us from suffering greater harm. At the time, we lacked the resources and methods to deal with the situation. This is an example of the importance of constant growth and improvement.

In situations that recur, the pressure intensifies. When one is unable to manage inner emotions, external factors have a greater impact on the individual.

Without realizing it, you may find yourself thinking more, becoming more anxious, and unable to act. This is where the "cognitive triangle" comes into play. Emotions, thoughts, and actions are in a mutually interactive relationship. Actions can affect emotions and thoughts, thoughts can also change emotions and actions, and emotions can also influence actions and thoughts.

To create a positive cycle, consider the effect of a change of mind, the infusion of a new behavior, or the processing of emotions. Breathe deeply, calm yourself, and recognize that emotions are not the whole truth.

In interpersonal situations, you may have a preconception that if you did not study hard enough, others will not like you. The need to fit in may cause you to present yourself as a "nice" person, which could limit your confidence. Your efforts to please others may still feel forced. No one can be perfect. Even if you do not study hard, you are still valuable to everyone. Everyone has strengths and abilities in certain areas.

In business relationships, effective listening is often more valuable than verbal communication. Focusing on active listening can bring benefits to both the listener and the speaker. By listening attentively, you can gain insights and build stronger relationships, which can lead to increased recognition and mutual understanding.

Presently, you have not accumulated a substantial amount of positive energy due to your lack of attention. You are aware of your shortcomings and also have a critical part of yourself, such as feeling boring and awkward. Can you experience your kindness, your adherence to rules, your insecurity, and so on?

In this regard, recognize and commend the minor accomplishments in your professional history, and provide yourself with constructive feedback. Perceive the sense of inner fortitude that arises when you offer yourself positive reinforcement.

Finally, when you let go of self-blame, you can treat every encounter with others as an opportunity for growth. Expect less, and when you feel connected to the world, you are accepted.

As your sense of security increases, you will naturally feel more confident in expressing your true self.

Have confidence in your abilities. Persevere; improvement will be forthcoming.

Hello! You've really nailed it. We've all been there. We've all been flattered at some point. It's a fact! So the first thing I want you to do is to practice acknowledging and accepting that flattery is just something we do to someone at a certain point in time and in a certain situation. This does not represent who you are!

Let's dive into the fascinating concept of pleasing others! It's a powerful coping strategy for survival. There's no distinction between good and bad. When we please others, we temporarily ignore our own sense of value, surrender our rights to others, and nod our approval of everything they do. We treat the people and situations in their social circles with full respect, and we're open to their opinions. Pleasing others is very different from trying to be consistent and pleasing others.

When we please others at the expense of our self-worth, we deny our self-respect and send ourselves the message that we are not important.

To please means to deal with stress in this way and to tell ourselves that the only way to survive and remain at peace is to ignore our feelings. This attitude of submitting to everything leads us to suppress our anger and replace it with physical disorders. But there's another way! By learning to listen to our bodies, we can find ways to manage stress and stay healthy. Did you know that constantly trying to please others often causes us to suffer from gastrointestinal diseases, especially migraines, ulcers, diarrhea, constipation, or vomiting? It's true! And it's something we can change.

When you feel suffocated, it's a sign that your body and your thoughts are out of sync. If the body resists, problems will arise. But here's the good news: our body is the most honest. So, let's take good care of our feelings and our body! We'll start with awareness. When we have a pleasing thought, can we be aware of it? We're about to act in a pleasing way. At this moment, we slow down and see what's behind our pleasing behavior.

This is so important! When we can truly express what we want, we're using "pleasing" in a consistent way. Let's say we're in danger and the reason behind our "pleasing" is to survive. Would we still evaluate our "pleasing"? Absolutely!

So start by being aware of your own thoughts, and then admit them. The power of admitting is very strong and also very healing. For example, you can say to yourself, "Okay, at the moment I do have flattering thoughts." With admission, you will feel seen. There is a saying that seeing is healing, which is related to our deep desires. After seeing, we begin to practice acceptance, accepting ourselves as a person, starting from the human level. This may sound a bit strange, but we need to practice. As you practice, you will discover that everything that happens is meaningful.

Let's talk about the incredible benefits of pleasing others! First of all, you'll gain amazing interpersonal relationships. Everyone will think you're a kind and easy-going person. You're also sensitive, so you can quickly sense the emotions of the people around you and empathize with others, giving people a sense of care. Look at these gains! You're very valuable to others and to yourself. The most important point I've noticed is that we need to clarify one fact: I don't define myself by the affirmation and evaluation of others. This is very important and it concerns your sense of self-worth. Therefore, we must cultivate the ability to always remember that you're the most important one to you. You're unique and you're worthy of love!

Treat yourself well and love yourself! I wish you all the best!

Hello, I can sense the following points from your description:

1. Interpersonal relationship troubles: You're worried about what other people think of you because you feel inferior about your grades, so you tend to keep to yourself.

2. Emotional distress: It can be tough to learn how to handle stress, which can lead to anxiety.

3. You know you could use some help with self-awareness, but you don't think you can get it. You're happy to help others with your own words and feel honored when you do.

4. Minor physical issues, including chest tightness, and waiting.

To sum up, your main issue is still your emotions. When they're out of whack, it leads to a whole bunch of other problems.

What are your thoughts on this?

First of all, you care what others think, so you speculate about them and come up with your own thoughts. This makes you self-deprecating and closed off.

In this regard, you might want to consider whether other people's thoughts are real or just your own guesses.

I don't think that's right. Since they're not accurate, we can just let it go and not think about her? If there really is

Relationship troubles are a great way to connect with people and communicate, don't you think? You feel like you are a

If you're weak, you have an even greater advantage. People sympathize with the weak. If you show weakness and seek help with your studies,

You might make more friends and get more help. On the other hand, if you're very strong, it might make others compete with you.

You might want to think about turning your weaknesses into strengths and getting better social and learning advice.

Secondly, emotional distress. Since you need to relieve your emotions and you are willing to help others, it's a mutual help between people.

You've helped someone else before, so it's not like you're asking for the moon. If you have the expectation of establishing communication, and given that you have helped someone else before, is it not impossible for someone to refuse?

You might want to try making friends and talking about your feelings to relieve your stress.

You also need to work on your self-awareness. It seems like you think others won't accept you, but is that just a guess? Have you tried to find out?

If you've been rejected by others, why not take the initiative to seek and establish it, and see what will happen in reality?

Not everyone can help you, and not every moment is right for helping you. You can see that other people are in a good mood and have a little free time.

Get in touch with your colleagues and ask for help.

You can try putting our analysis into action to see if it might lead to a different state of learning and living. You're so kind.

I hope that things will start to go better for you. You've got this. I know you're struggling with your studies at the moment, but

You're showing a lot of kindness and perseverance, and you're putting in a lot of effort, right?

I hope you'll find inner peace and tranquility, and have a relaxed and happy learning environment soon. The world and I love you, so stay calm.

Hello! I'm a college student, and I can really relate to your experience because I once had a really good friend in high school who was in the same situation as you. In fact, the so-called "pleasing personality" is not a completely derogatory term. I don't think you should feel troubled or anything because of your personality.

The common "nice guy" image in life is actually a result of your inner gentleness and kindness, as well as a strong ability to empathize. That's why you don't know how to say no to people—you are too easily considerate of other people's feelings and neglect your own.

I just want to say that your personality is absolutely wonderful, and there's nothing wrong with you at all! You just need to learn to say no to things you really don't want to do. And you know what? A moderate amount of helpful behavior will make you feel happy inside!

You're already in high school now, and your personality is basically unchangeable. We're here for a lifetime, so just be yourself and don't try to please anyone. My outlook on life is that having friends is of course the best, but if you don't have any, it's okay. You'll make friends when you're ready!

As you get older, you'll realize that there are only a few true friends in this world who you can really develop a relationship with. Even though it might seem like everyone has a lot of friends, that doesn't mean they're all true friends. So don't worry if you feel anxious or inferior about your social relationships. The number of friends you have doesn't really matter. The most important thing is to please yourself.

I just want to say one more thing: don't forget that high school is a really special time. It might seem like three years is a long time, but it goes by so fast!

I really hope that you won't be bothered by these things during your high school studies. Studying is really the most important thing, so you must study hard and not waste any time. And finally, I really, really wish you well in your college entrance exam a few years from now!

I can see you're having a tough time, and I want to give you a big hug and tell you, "You've got this! You have a mother who believes in you!" My girl is in her first year of high school and will be a sophomore soon. Her grades aren't where she wants them to be, but that's OK! Every day, just like you, she is very sensitive and has a headache because of the complicated interpersonal relationships she sees. She cares a lot about what other people think, especially her favorite teachers and classmates. She has the idea of working hard to study, but she lacks motivation and cannot persevere. She envies others for being able to work so hard, but she can't, and this also makes her feel distressed.

Adolescence is a time of incredible change and growth. The heart of adolescence is sometimes as fragile as a crystal doll, but sometimes as determined as a rock. Emotions are like the wind: they come and go without warning. Changes in hormone levels make children in this period of time vulnerable, and because of narcissism, they feel that they should be supermen, perfect people, and outstanding people. When there is a huge contrast between ideals and reality, it can make people feel confused. Many things seem to be understood, but when you think about them, you don't understand them anymore. So if you are now just distressed by problems that frequently occur among people your age, then try to focus on yourself and see that glowing self of yours. You are already very good, but you have been disturbed by adolescence and have deviated from your own direction. Think more about your strengths and advantages, and start with these areas in which you are good. You can constantly affirm yourself and thus build confidence. Parents are also a strong backing for you. When you fight these troubles on your own, you don't have the time or energy to better deal with your studies, so try to open up to them. Three solid shoulders will carry a blue sky.

I wish you the best of luck with your studies!

Good morning, my name is Dapeng.

Your situation appears to be a common one during adolescence: the emotional separation from parents begins, and the self gradually begins to take shape independently. Adolescence can be conceptualized as a process of maturation, akin to a chick breaking out of its shell and beginning to walk independently.

It is important to begin with the following observation: individuals are striving to become independent, have experienced challenges, and have not yet developed a sense of autonomy. This is the essential process through which growth occurs. It is impossible to perceive a rainbow without first enduring the rain.

The following section will present an analysis of these difficulties.

Firstly, how should one navigate the dual pressures of academic study and interpersonal relationships? From parents to educators, there is a tendency to unduly emphasise academic performance, with insufficient attention paid to the personal growth of the child.

An individual's growth is inextricably linked to social interaction and the formation of diverse social relationships. It is imperative to engage with the external world and to collaborate with others in order to thrive in society.

Secondly, how do you perceive the ranking of results? There are two attitudes towards results. One is to strive for the best results and to recognise one's own progress, which should result in a positive emotional state.

The alternative approach is to impose a sense of comparison upon oneself, to continually evaluate one's performance in relation to the most proficient students, and to subsequently engage in self-denial and self-blame, which ultimately leads to feelings of unhappiness and inferiority.

The second idea is not advisable. It is more beneficial to compare oneself with one's classmates and identify areas for improvement. By doing so, one can maintain a positive attitude and recognize the progress of others, including their strengths.

Ultimately, the act of seeking to please others represents a form of psychological defense. As previously mentioned, the desire to please others may manifest when an individual is in a vulnerable position, serving as a means of self-protection.

In light of the fact that they are up against individuals who are more capable and experienced than they are, and given the limitations of their own abilities, it is understandable that they would seek to present themselves in a way that is perceived as less threatening. This is not to say that they are unaware of the potential benefits of adopting a more assertive stance; it is simply that they have identified certain limitations in their own capabilities and are seeking to navigate them in a way that is perceived as less risky. Indeed, this strategy can also be adjusted, and a variety of options are available.

Difficulties are an inherent aspect of the growth process. To truly grow, one must possess an understanding of oneself and the ability to overcome adversity.

My name is Dapeng, and I encourage you to develop a deeper understanding of yourself, cultivate your abilities, and strive for continuous improvement.

Hello. I have some simple answers to your questions that I know will be helpful.

I also experienced high school, and I can tell you that everyone had an inferiority complex. These can come from learning, oneself, or even the family. But after graduating from high school, you will find that some inferiorities may not disappear, and may even become more profound when you are exposed to the outside world.

I hope you can face your own problems head-on. I also resonated with the term "good old person" in high school. We want to be recognized and respected by others, and we learn not to know how to refuse others.

It will lead to us being exhausted by all kinds of things tomorrow. Sometimes you may not be able to do something, which leads to even more discomfort in your heart. But you can do it.

I have felt all these problems before, and I can help you.

I can tell you with certainty that people often have to learn to be alone, to learn alone, to eat alone, and to feel life alone. These are the things you have to learn. We need the approval of others because we live in society and cannot be disconnected.

But we need recognition that is beneficial to us. You can and should refuse things or people that you don't feel like or don't feel comfortable with.

You will become a different person when you learn to distinguish between "good" and "bad" things and "good" and "bad" people, and learn to say no.

You must learn to be confident and learn to feel yourself. We must learn to be confident, that we are in fact a unique individual, and that everyone has their own bright spots.

Take a walk with someone else, read a book, watch a movie, listen to music. You will discover a different version of yourself.

Come on!

Good day, question asker.

From your question, I can ascertain that you are a person with a sensitive disposition and a high level of emotional intelligence. If I have interpreted your situation correctly, you are currently in high school, which is a pivotal stage in your academic journey. You have demonstrated exemplary academic performance and have been admitted to an experimental class. It's just that being surrounded by individuals who are even more outstanding and hardworking than you makes you feel a little overwhelmed.

Let us examine the issue in greater detail.

Your self-assessment is that you have a likeable personality and low self-esteem. However, as the respondent, I would like to make you aware of one thing first: during high school, due to the influence of objective factors such as physical development and heavy academic pressure, mental activities and emotional changes are also the most abundant. You actually have excellent emotional intelligence and can empathize with others well, noticing others' subtle actions and thoughts, including the hidden emotions in their words. This makes you often in a mental state of fear of ridicule and isolation, but you need to understand that there are also a lot of people in high school who have the same troubles and mental situations as you. So although your situation can indeed be attributed to a "pleasing personality" or "low self-esteem," the respondent believes you can actually be relieved.

It is essential to maintain a relaxed state of mind to ensure optimal engagement in learning and work. Self-doubt can significantly hinder one's ability to perform effectively in real-life situations. The questioner is aware of the existence of an inferiority complex and recognizes that it is not conducive to effecting change.

Inferiority complex often stems from pressure from colleagues. Therefore, the most effective way to eliminate inferiority complex is to eliminate the mentality of comparing yourself with others.

It is important to understand that high school study is not a competition; it is a self-challenge. While the experimental class provides a high-pressure competitive environment, if this pressure negatively affects your psychological state, it will have the opposite effect on your academic performance.

I am unsure if the questioner is aware that some students find the pressure of the experimental class unmanageable and opt to switch back to the regular class to study. This special situation is designed to address the counterproductive effect of psychological pressure, but it also means foregoing the fast pace and excellent teachers unique to the experimental class. If the questioner can alter their mentality, establish an invisible psychological barrier against the pressure and stares around, and capitalise on the advantages brought by the experimental class alone, then success may be just around the corner.

The initial step is to force yourself to be "cheeky." When you sense the scrutiny of others, remind yourself, "This is who I am. I am confident, and I don't require their judgment." This is not avoidance, but a demonstration of courage.

The questioner mentioned that they often provide assistance to others at no cost, which is indicative of a lack of psychological energy. They seek to receive the same level of psychological benefit from others through their actions, which aligns with the ingratiating personality type previously discussed. As previously mentioned, addressing an inferiority complex can provide a foundation for addressing the ingratiating personality type. The final step is to learn to say no when necessary.

The act of refusing represents maintaining one's position. It allows you to conserve your energy and reinforce your mental image, which will become more stable and strong. This is the path to self-confidence. A reasonable refusal will not alienate colleagues. On the contrary, someone who is alienated after one or two refusals is not a true colleague. In the process, you will slowly learn about the various choices in life.

I hope that the questioner will continue to maintain a positive outlook and demeanor in their future endeavors. I believe that with the right attitude and determination, obstacles can be overcome.

First, in the third year of junior high school, I was really struggling with math. I was so self-conscious about my poor grades!

Instead of letting your math grades get you down, focus on how you can improve them.

Secondly, I always think about what other people think of me, so I also tend to close myself off and not socialize with others.

Take a moment to think back to all the classmates you interact with every day. Chances are, you don't recall many details about them because you're not really paying that much attention to other people. And it's probably the same for them, too! It's only natural. We all have our own thoughts and things going on in our lives. Once you understand this, you'll probably care less about what other people think.

3. Not knowing how to relieve your own stress and regulate your emotions.

You should definitely go outside, immerse yourself in nature, look at the flowers and trees, breathe in the fresh air, feel carefree and happy. You'll feel great, I'm sure! Why not give it a try?

4. I feel like I'm a pretty nice person who's always happy to help others. I love socializing with people, but at the same time I sometimes feel a bit inferior and think that I'm not that interesting or cool.

We all have limited human energy, so it's important to learn to say "no" and to refuse tactfully. This is something you can practice!

You can start with small things, and I'm here to help!

5. This can also lead to some minor physical problems, like chest tightness.

It seems like your mood might be affecting your health. Don't worry, though! You can adjust your mood, and your health will follow suit. You can also improve your mood by taking care of your body. Traditional Chinese medicine is a great choice.

I really hope things start looking up for you and that you become the best version of yourself!

Hello, I've noticed that when I see a person's writing, I tend to see their face.

My friend, I'm really sorry to see you're feeling so stressed. I know you're probably feeling even more uncomfortable than usual. Let's take a look at the situation:

You're sensitive in social situations, which is related to concentration. Where your attention is, you'll think about related things without even realizing it. This isn't your problem. Usually, if you can distract your attention a bit, you can focus on yourself and think about how you treat others. How will treating others this way affect you in the future?

If you have low self-esteem and worry about how you come across to others, you'll probably try to please them. This is more likely to happen when you're dealing with important people, but in normal circumstances, everyone is equal. Stick to your own ideas, and if you're wrong, learn from it with an open mind. It's not about maintaining a certain mindset when dealing with people, but about change. You'll encounter all kinds of situations in the future, so you need to respond to change with change. Let your ideas flow and don't fixate on one point.

Sometimes, physical discomfort is caused by psychological factors and a lack of self-confidence. Try doing some exercise you enjoy to help your body and mind to balance each other out and achieve physical and mental health.

I hope this answers your question and that you have a great day!

Greetings, host. During the middle school stage, learning and interpersonal relationships are indeed the two most important aspects of a person's development. Unfortunately, you do not feel particularly confident in these two areas.

Firstly, there has been no improvement in your mathematics grades, which has resulted in feelings of frustration, anxiety and depression. This, in turn, has an adverse effect on your ability to study with peace of mind, creating a vicious cycle.

Secondly, the poor academic performance has led to a significant degree of self-doubt, which in turn has resulted in a tendency to conform to social expectations in order to gain acceptance and friendship. However, despite these efforts, a sense of unhappiness persists.

Presently, I am experiencing physical symptoms such as chest tightness. It is evident that I require an adjustment in my lifestyle as soon as possible.

Let us address these issues.

In regard to academic performance,

Upon entering the high school bridging program in my third year of junior high school, I found myself unable to keep pace with the curriculum, particularly in mathematics.

Entering the experimental class in the first year of high school was a highly stressful experience. I was concerned about how my peers would perceive me, and I was so anxious that I was unable to study effectively. As a result, my grades continued to decline.

In perusing the aforementioned text, I have formulated the following queries:

In perusing the aforementioned text, I have formulated the following queries:

1. Your admission to the high school bridging class is a testament to the school's continued excellence and your commendable efforts in attaining your objective. Does this imply that your foundation in junior high school is, in fact, quite robust?

2. In the high school bridging class, what were the reasons for your inability to keep up with the class? Was it due to the teacher's speaking style, or to a lack of completion of homework assignments? Could other students in the class maintain the pace?

In addition, I was enrolled in the experimental class during my first year of high school. It is my impression that the experimental class is comprised of students who have achieved the highest grades.

Thus, when one states that they have poor grades, it is essential to ascertain whether this implies a sense of inadequacy or a perception of being at the lowest echelon of the academic hierarchy.

The aforementioned three questions are designed to ascertain the true nature of one's learning environment.

Firstly, when transitioning from junior high school to high school, students will encounter significant alterations in the content they study, the pedagogical approach of their instructors, and the academic abilities of their classmates.

Upon attaining admission to an optimal high school, one may discover that the advantages they previously enjoyed have suddenly vanished. Despite having demonstrated academic excellence at the class or even school level, they may now find themselves struggling to keep pace with their peers, resulting in a decline in their academic standing.

This is a common issue that many students encounter when transitioning to high school. The quality of the school they attend can significantly influence the extent of this discrepancy.

However, it is imperative to recognize that this discrepancy is not an indication of a decline in academic performance. It is a common phenomenon that other students will encounter as well.

It is imperative to adjust one's mentality, accept, and adapt to these changes in order to integrate into high school studies.

Secondly, it is essential to undertake an objective assessment of one's actual learning level.

What is the underlying cause of your inability to keep pace with the class? Is it truly a matter of having a significantly weaker foundation than your peers?

What is the underlying cause of your inability to keep pace with the class? Is it truly due to a significantly weaker foundation than that of your peers?

It is presumed that the majority of individuals are able to comprehend and maintain pace with the material, yet you are the sole exception. This assumption is, however, open to question.

Given that you were able to gain admission to the same educational institution, it is reasonable to conclude that the academic abilities of your peers are not significantly divergent from your own. It is therefore probable that the issues you are facing are also encountered by others.

Discussing your situation with your classmates may help you to find empathy and relieve your anxiety.

You referenced your mathematics grades in particular, and it is possible that mathematics is a challenging subject for you and that you have difficulty learning it. However, it is also important to have subjects in which you excel. I believe that not all subjects are equally difficult.

It is important to recognize that everyone has subjects in which they excel and subjects in which they are less proficient. It is unfair to deny oneself the opportunity to pursue subjects in which one has a natural inclination or aptitude. By answering the three questions above, students can gain a more objective understanding of their academic abilities, identify their strengths and weaknesses, determine which subjects present significant challenges, and decide how to allocate their time accordingly.

You are aware of your academic performance in the class and in the grade.

The tendency to ruminate on difficulties in certain subjects, coupled with a tendency to self-denial, can lead to an "extremely bad" and "generalized" way of thinking that is detrimental to accurate self-assessment, causes unnecessary anxiety, and ultimately impairs learning.

Thirdly, it is essential to accept the current state of affairs, establish realistic and well-defined objectives, and devise a pragmatic learning plan.

Thirdly, it is important to accept the current situation, set realistic and well-defined goals, and develop a practical learning plan.

Furthermore, the individual in question is experiencing considerable stress, yet lacks an effective method of stress relief, thereby impairing their ability to regulate emotions. On a daily basis, the individual experiences depressive symptoms, ruminating on the perceived discrepancy between their own work ethic and that of their peers. This leads to an increase in anxiety, yet the individual remains inactive. As a result, academic performance declines, and the individual's mood deteriorates.

You are a highly motivated and capable student, eager to enhance your academic performance. However, you are also aware of your tendency to ruminate and be influenced by external factors.

This may be due to an inability to accept the current situation, in which academic performance is perceived to be less than optimal. Each instance of studying is accompanied by a sense of overwhelming responsibility, which has led to a decline in motivation and an inability to take action.

As previously stated, it is essential to confront the challenges of transitioning to high school, conduct an objective self-assessment, and, most crucially, establish a well-defined learning objective aligned with one's current academic standing. It is important to recognize that attaining the top three positions in academic performance may not be a realistic or attainable goal for all individuals. Setting ambitious or overly distant objectives is not a prudent approach.

As previously stated, it is crucial to confront the challenges associated with transitioning to high school, conduct an objective assessment of one's abilities, and, most importantly, establish a well-defined learning objective aligned with one's current level of proficiency. It is important to note that attaining the top three positions in academic performance is not a universally attainable goal. Setting an ambitious and unattainable goal may lead to feelings of helplessness and the perception that one's efforts are futile.

In accordance with one's current level of ability, only goals that can be reasonably achieved after exertion of effort are reasonable, and they will motivate one to learn to the greatest extent possible.

It is evident that the accomplishment of objectives is contingent upon the formulation of a practical learning plan. When an individual possesses a comprehensive understanding of their daily responsibilities and can discern the trajectory of their own efforts, they are less likely to become unduly concerned with the actions of others.

It is evident that the accomplishment of objectives is contingent upon the formulation of a pragmatic learning plan. When an individual possesses a comprehensive understanding of their daily responsibilities and can discern the trajectory of their own efforts, they are less prone to experience persistent concern regarding the actions of others.

The following section addresses interpersonal relationships.

The following section addresses interpersonal relationships.

Additionally, I experience feelings of inferiority regarding my academic performance, and I am acutely aware of the opinions of others, which often leads me to withdraw from social interactions.

In the classroom, I perceive myself as a benevolent individual who is agreeable and readily offers assistance to others. I am genuinely interested in fostering positive relationships with my peers, yet I simultaneously experience low self-esteem and perceive myself as uninteresting and socially awkward.

From the information provided, it can be surmised that the root of the problem may be an inferiority complex. There are two main factors that contribute to this: firstly, there is a tendency to withdraw from social interactions, and secondly, there is an inclination to leverage one's reputation for being a kind and amiable individual in order to gain the approval and favor of others.

First, an examination of the relationship between grades and low self-esteem.

One's self-esteem may be negatively affected by poor academic performance, but this is not the sole determining factor in an evaluation of a student's abilities.

Everyone is multidimensional, possessing a multitude of characteristics. Some individuals with suboptimal academic performance are nevertheless highly self-assured, deriving confidence from alternative sources, such as athleticism, height, vocal talent, or a supportive family background. These sources of self-identification can manifest in various forms, including physical attributes, personality traits, abilities, interests, or familial relationships. As long as individuals engage in self-exploration, they can potentially identify and develop sources of self-assurance in a multitude of areas.

Secondly, it is recommended that you enhance your self-confidence and adopt a more proactive approach.

It is evident that there is a discrepancy between the individual's perception of themselves and the reality of their situation. This discrepancy can be attributed to a lack of self-confidence and a tendency to rely on external validation. It is therefore recommended that the individual should endeavour to boost their self-confidence and take the initiative in their own development.

It is evident that the aforementioned characteristics have not been identified. It is possible that the essay was written in a way that did not allow for the author to describe themselves in a comprehensive manner. The essay only described the author's perceived shortcomings, namely their poor academic performance and introverted personality. It is likely that the author's family, peers, and friends would be able to provide a more accurate account of the author's positive attributes.

The essay did not describe the subject's personality; only the subject's academic performance and introversion were mentioned. It is likely that the subject's family, peers, and friends would be able to provide insight into the subject's positive attributes if asked.

It is merely a matter of recognizing these characteristics, rather than focusing on the aspects that are perceived as negative.

Confidence is not contingent upon immediate improvements in academic performance or the acquisition of extraordinary abilities. Rather, it is about embracing one's inherent worth. Each individual possesses inherent strengths and potential, yet these are often obscured by a sense of inadequacy.

One may choose to listen to the praise of one's parents and classmates more carefully and identify the positive aspects of one's own character. As confidence gradually increases, one may also become more motivated to interact with and form connections with others.

Thirdly, it is erroneous to assume that flattery is an effective means of establishing a friendship.

The development of a pleasing personality is the result of a complex interplay of factors, the influence of which cannot be reversed overnight.

Nevertheless, recognizing one's own agreeable characteristics and being mindful of this in one's daily interactions can markedly enhance one's ability to interact in a pleasing manner. Similarly, the capacity to decline requests from others and assert one's autonomy is also developed gradually.

It is unclear, however, whether you are a people-pleaser. There are undoubtedly some people-pleasing actions in interpersonal relationships, including the tendency to believe that one is useful to others and therefore will be liked.

However, flattery is not an effective strategy for winning friendship or respect. In life, individuals who consistently comply with others' requests are often referred to as "sticky notes." They are only called upon when there is a task at hand, and can be discarded when there is no longer a need for their assistance.

It is possible that other individuals do not view you as a friend; rather, they may perceive you as a mere tool.

One might perceive oneself as boring and awkward, and believe that in order to form friendships, one must attempt to please others. However, as confidence is gradually gained, it becomes evident that there exists a vast array of individuals, encompassing those who are outgoing and lively, introverted and quiet, humorous and intriguing, and those who are perceived as boring and awkward.

It is plausible that extroverted and interesting individuals possess a greater number of friends, yet introverted and uninteresting individuals may also have friends, albeit in smaller numbers. However, these friendships may be more intimate. Friendships based on flattery or the pretense of being interesting and funny may encounter difficulties when it becomes apparent that the individuals involved are not of the same type.

People of the same kind are attracted to one another, whereas people who are not of the same kind do not feel the need to force themselves to get along.

It is recommended that you attempt to regulate your emotional state and engage in more relaxation exercises. It is also advised that you attempt to calm your mind.

It is recommended that you first attempt to regulate your emotional state and engage in more relaxation exercises. It is advised that you calm your mind.

This will provide a solid foundation for both academic improvement and interpersonal relationships.

It is my hope that you will soon be able to achieve a state of "learning to be engaged and confident in making friends."

Hello question asker!

From your description, I can sense your feelings.

In high school, I felt inferior because I couldn't keep up with my studies. It seemed that no matter how hard I tried, I could never achieve what I wanted.

You care about what others think and are afraid to socialize. We base our sense of identity on others. Some people approve while others disapprove. We feel insecure in this kind of uncertain feeling.

After entering the experimental class, I saw my emotions become impossible to resolve. I saw the efforts of others and felt a strong sense of internal conflict. I wanted to get better but couldn't, so I became anxious and my feelings grew worse.

In class, I feel like I'm the nice guy who will agree to everything. I really want to get along with others. I think the original poster wants to help others and fix her psychological issues.

However, I also feel inferior and think I'm boring and inarticulate. This shows that our inner strength is not enough. None of this is your fault.

You say you often have minor physical problems. Get a physical exam to make sure there are no physical illnesses. If there aren't, you may have a backlog of psychological problems.

After observing, I understand your feelings. It's not easy. Here's a hug!

I'd like to share some info about the pleasing personality type.

The mind cannot solve life's problems because life is bigger than the mind.

If you can't find a balance between taking care of your own needs and the needs of others, here are some suggestions to help you:

The next time you try to please someone without realizing it, pause and think about why.

When we think about pleasing others, take a breath and ask ourselves what we need from them. Without judgment, just be curious. Is it recognition, attention, or affection?

Where in your body do you feel this need the most? Perhaps it is in the heart. Gently place your hand on that spot and feel its presence.

Give this need back to yourself, not to others.

Feel this need, feel this presence, and then be there for TA. Tell TA, "I'm OK now. I'm here. You need recognition, attention, and affection. Let me take care of you..."

Take care of this need yourself. Bring resources, connections, and strength to it. Reconnect with yourself. Don't surrender to others.

3. Connect with yourself, then with others.

When you're in relationships, keep some of your attention on yourself, stabilize yourself, and connect with others.

If you practice this in your relationships, you will find a state of being that connects you with yourself and others. It is neither too loose nor too tight. It is like a string on a musical instrument: if it is too tight or too loose, it cannot produce the most beautiful sound.

Connecting to our center while connecting to others helps us be at ease. This brings peace and strength to ourselves and others.

If we lose our center and give in to others, we lose strength and respect. If we isolate ourselves, we create rigidity and conflict.

People who are connected to their bodies can connect to the world and find balance. This can help you find new ways to make your voice heard.

I've discovered that I have a tendency towards a pleasing personality, which is great! But what should I do?

Just 14 hours ago, 101 people read this!

I've always been a bit of a people-pleaser, so it's no surprise that I sometimes get annoyed by interpersonal relationships. This phenomenon first manifested in my first year of high school, but I didn't know what to do about it, so I just ignored it. In my third year of junior high school, I was admitted to the high school bridging class. I was very happy at the time, but when I actually started attending classes, I found that I really couldn't keep up, especially with math. I also felt very inferior about my poor grades, and I always thought about what other people thought of me. As a result, I also became more closed off and didn't want to socialize with others. I can say that at that time, I felt like I was going through the most exhausting period of my life. When I got to my first year of high school, I naturally also entered the experimental class, and the pressure was also very great. Mainly, I didn't know how to relieve my own pressure, and I couldn't regulate my emotions well. Every day I was very depressed, thinking a lot, focusing all of my attention on the outside world, watching how hard everyone else was working, and how I was doing. I became more and more anxious, but I didn't take action. My grades got worse and worse, and my mood was also terrible.

I really wanted someone to come and save me, but that wasn't going to happen. I'm learning to be okay with that! I've realised that I have weak stress tolerance, but I'm working on it!

Hello, I'm Vera, and I'm so excited to talk to you about low self-esteem!

You aced your own ability exam for the high school bridging course! Your grades are not bad at all! The question mentions that you are relatively weak in mathematics, but you can definitely improve in that area.

This can make you feel inferior. But you can beat it! I feel that you want the same things from yourself as you want from others, and you don't want to be worse than others.

I'd love to know what makes you feel inferior. You mentioned that inferiority complex makes you shut yourself off from the outside world. How does that make you feel?

As I enter the first year of high school, I feel the pressure building. But no matter what, I know I can take action!

The text makes me realize that I have the potential to learn quickly and that I can do it! I just need to look at the students around me and realize that I can do better. I can move forward and I will!

I feel anxious, but at the same time I feel that I am not capable of doing it. Is this really the case? I know I can do it!

If you really can't do it, then how did you get into the experimental class? There must be courses you are good at!

Otherwise, you wouldn't have been able to get into the experimental class, right? What are the subjects you are good at?

So, what is your current level? And are there any students in your class who are better at your subjects than you?

Even five fingers are not the same length! You will definitely be disappointed if you compare subjects you are not good at with others' strengths.

You should definitely compare yourself with others in the subjects you are good at! It will make your self-confidence soar. And remember, you've probably heard of the saying "comparing people makes people angry."

The only person you really need to compare yourself to is yourself. Whether you are standing still, regressing, or progressing, you can make real progress by focusing on yourself!

You say you try to please your classmates, which is great! But what value do you get from it? Think about it.

If there's no benefit, how can you be accommodating? The question describes how you can make friends by being nice!

But you also want others to come and befriend you of their own accord, attracted by your charisma and admired by others. So you feel a little frustrated inside because you are too nice and always say yes. But you are not yet able to attract friends through your own strength, which gives you an exciting challenge to work on!

Think about it! If you don't lower your stance to please others, will you be unable to make friends? The answer is simple.

I really hope my answer is helpful! Thanks so much!

Academic pressure is a common problem for a prospective high school student. You feel anxious and stressed, but you also want to do better. If you don't care, you won't be stressed.

Imagine waking up one day and feeling different. The anxiety, inferiority complex, and irritability you've felt up until now have disappeared.

You feel good today. The environment is the same, but your mind is different. How would you study if you were different?

Think about it and new ideas may come up.

A psychology teacher I like has also helped someone in a similar situation. It may also be helpful to you.

You also said you help others to get along with them. You can keep agreeing to requests, but you can tell the difference between those you do because you want to and those you do to keep up appearances.

Just make the distinction.

Best wishes!

My dear child, you have the power within you to save yourself. I truly believe in your ability to do so.

I can relate to that. I was always afraid of doing anything wrong, so I tried to please everyone. I was very humble and cautious in everything I did.

It would be beneficial to share these experiences from our childhood. As a child, I was often teased by my family, and the language used was often very humiliating. I was frequently told that I was bad at this and that, that I could never do anything right.

...

How did I change? First, after growing up, I was fortunate to receive affirmation for my achievements at work. Second, I was blessed to have a supportive best friend who encouraged me with kind words.

I believe that...

Third, I had a happy childhood. I didn't grow up with my parents, and I only spent time with them when I went to school. Gradually, I began to question my life. It was still me, but I noticed a discrepancy between how I was perceived by others and how my parents viewed me. I wondered if there was more to the story.

When life reached its lowest point, I began to rebel. I came to understand that when you stop caring about what other people think, they will start to care about you. Was I the child who was good at everything?

I don't think that's who I was as a child.

When I stopped letting the verbal attacks of my parents affect me and started reading, observing life, and thinking about human nature, I realized that none of these things were me. I came to understand that only I myself am me.

So, my child, I encourage you to live your life well, be kind to yourself, and be good to yourself so that you will have the ability to help all living beings and make others happy. Whether it is yourself or others, being good comes naturally and is not something you can earn.

It is encouraging to see that you are able to recognize your positive qualities at this age. With time, you will likely gain more insight into how to navigate these traits and discern what truly aligns with your values.

My dear child, I can see that you are feeling a bit anxious, confused, and helpless right now. I know that you were able to get into the experimental class, which shows that you still have a strong ability to learn.

Perhaps it's just a matter of getting used to the study and interpersonal dynamics of the high school stage. There's no need to worry. Take your time and let's explore it together.

1. Each stage of a person's growth has its own characteristics. As high school students, this stage is often characterized by heavy study loads and intense pressure. It's not uncommon for children to have difficulty adapting to this stage.

It is possible that under a certain amount of pressure, people may feel a sense of urgency and improve their learning efficiency. However, if the pressure is too great, it may have the opposite effect, and it may be helpful to consider ways to relieve the pressure on yourself.

It is natural to feel a bit overwhelmed when you enter high school, especially when you are surrounded by people who are already familiar with the environment. As your social circle expands, you may encounter individuals who stand out for various reasons. When you compare yourself to them, it can lead to feelings of pressure and anxiety. It is important to remember that everyone has their own unique strengths and abilities, and there are always individuals who excel in different ways.

In this situation, we might consider viewing them from a different perspective and treating them as potential friends (replacing the position of perceived competitors), which could lead to beneficial interactions. As the saying goes, "If three people walk together, one of them can teach me something." If we all become friends, learn from each other, and discuss problems together, we could collectively gain more resources and knowledge.

2. It might be helpful to adjust your expectations and set achievable goals for yourself in the short term.

In terms of studies, for example, in mathematics, it would be beneficial to aim for a higher score than the previous exam. It is important to remember that progress is often made in small steps, and with dedication, you may be able to achieve your goal.

In terms of interpersonal relationships, it might be helpful to gradually let go of your own self-consciousness and pay attention to those students around you who are popular. You could try observing how they speak and communicate with others, learning from them, and then imitating them. You might then like to start by saying hello to others, slowly drawing closer to them, and finding common topics.

It is important to be sincere in interpersonal relationships. Friendship is a give-and-take, a give-and-take of opinions. It is helpful to determine your bottom line. Otherwise, if you are thinking only about satisfying others and hurting yourself, you may give people the impression that you have no principles. It is good to be brave with people or things that you don't like, and say no. This can make you appear more powerful.

Dear child, you must take every step of the way. It's important to remember that no one can eat your meals for you, and no one knows what you really want. You are the only one who knows you best, so it's up to you to decide what's best for you.

As a high school student, it is important to allow your inner self to grow at a pace that is comfortable for you. The growth of the soul can align with the growth of the body, fostering a sense of harmony. It is natural to avoid or shrink back at times, but it is also beneficial to embrace the process and allow a big tree to grow slowly in your heart, facing the sun, shining brightly, and becoming more confident.

It would be beneficial to take things one step at a time and allow yourself to grow gradually. As a high school student, you still have a long journey ahead of you to learn and enrich yourself. It would be worthwhile to look forward to your own transformation.