I have very little self-confidence. Apart from my family, I always feel like other people are laughing at me.

ღ?ღ Your confusion 1️⃣:

"I have very little self-confidence. Apart from my family, I always feel that other people are laughing at me because I don't look good. I'm always the butt of jokes and people act like they don't care. I don't get along well with my classmates either. I feel very lonely and spend every day worrying, and I'm really tired every day." "But you know what? I'm going to change all that! I'm going to work on my self-confidence. I'm going to learn to love myself, and I'm going to be the best version of myself. I'm going to make friends with my classmates. I'm going to be happy and excited about every day. I'm going to be the best me I can be!"

It's so important to get along with others! Appearance is just the start. There's so much more to us than meets the eye. We need to find our own value. For example, if I help someone solve a problem, they'll be really grateful to me. Or if I see someone who's unhappy, I can listen to them patiently, and they'll feel warm.

And guess what? Your appearance is not fixed. You may not think you are pretty, but others may find you kind, cute, etc. So, don't constantly negate yourself! Accepting yourself happily is the only way to release your value and energy to the outside world.

ღ?ღ Your confusion:

"I've got to tell you about another thing. Every week when I go home, I have a fight with my mom. I really don't want to fight with her, and I know I'm hurting her feelings. I'm really sorry about that. But I just can't help it! They all think I'm cold-hearted, but actually I listen to everything they say."

When I was in junior high school, I was just like you. I always fought with my mom. Looking back, I was in a rebellious stage and had no place to vent my emotions. I couldn't manage my emotions, so I took it out on my mom, who loved me, but I wouldn't admit my mistakes. Although venting emotions is unintentional and caused by emotional instability due to abnormal endocrine secretion during puberty, it's not entirely my fault. But it's not good to vent emotions on my mom, and I would blame myself afterwards. We can try listening to music or running to release hormones. If we accidentally lose our temper with our mom, we should apologize in time and tell her that we can't control our emotions either.

I also learned to recognize my emotions and try to control them through continuous learning about psychology, and it's been a total game-changer!

I really hope you don't feel rushed. The great news is that as our self-awareness improves, we will get better and better at controlling our emotions! I want to tell you that we are all the same, not just you. The good news is that we have to learn to accept ourselves, then read more books and learn to improve our self-awareness, and slowly grow up!

It's so important to feel good about yourself, and nobody wants to be mocked for their appearance, their clothes, or their grades.

I could make a long list of people who have been ridiculed. It's so unfair! Why are you the only one?

It doesn't matter if you're feeling confident or not, there's always a chance you might be teased. When people are feeling confident, it can sometimes come across as arrogant, and that's something we all have to navigate. It's something that can happen now and in the future, and it's not something to be afraid of. It's just a part of life, and it's something we can all learn to handle. So, how can we handle it?

Mockery is so effective because you agree with the other person's reasoning. If you don't think it's reasonable or important, it's just nonsense and not worth a laugh. It's so interesting to me that you imagine mockery because you feel that you are not good-looking and deserve to be mocked. Could it be that the first person to mock you is yourself?

Even if appearance is everything to you, is being mocked something that is so unacceptable? It's okay, don't worry. The sky won't fall.

It's not nice to be teased, so try not to be. If you can't do anything about it, find something else you enjoy instead. Otherwise, what can you do?

It's totally normal to feel like arguing is the last thing you want to do, but it seems that when it comes to specific issues, you are very likely to stick to your own views. It's only natural to want to argue, and in the end, most people always argue for their own sense of justice. You are like this, and so is your mother. It's so easy to hurt each other when you're both trying to be right.

You're young, and you're growing in self-awareness. It's totally normal to be persistent in your thoughts! But, given your age, limited experience, and restricted status, it would be really helpful to adopt a tactful and effective approach when dealing with your family. You could try being cute, pleading, stalling, or prevaricating to save the situation.

If you can't win an argument, there's no point in arguing. It's more practical and better to get along with your family and achieve your goals in a gentle and subtle way. After all, you're still under the same roof as your family, and they're the people you're closest to. You don't want to be like Ping Tou Ge or Jiang Jie, do you?

It's not about confidence or making mistakes. It's just that you haven't found the right way to do it yet. This is totally normal as you grow up! When you feel like there's no way out, remember that there's always a way out. There's always an idea or a way to get through it.

It's okay to have doubts about your judgments. We all make mistakes! When you realize that there may be a mistake in your thinking, it means you have grown a little, and that is obviously a good thing.

I wish you all the happiness in the world!

Hello, question asker.

From reading your question, I sense a sense of loneliness in each sentence. It seems that you may be experiencing this feeling in various settings, including at school or at home. I can imagine how challenging this feeling can be. I empathize with you and wish I could offer a comforting hug.

From your description, it seems that you feel lonely because you don't feel you look good, and you worry that others are ridiculing you. Have you considered that you might be being a little too demanding on yourself? I understand that you're currently a student and going through puberty, a time when many children strive for perfection.

It is important to note that there is nothing inherently wrong with adolescents pursuing beauty. However, it is crucial to have a balanced understanding and avoid self-attack. It is also essential to recognize that these thoughts are not exclusive to you. They are a common aspect of your age group and are experienced by many individuals. It is interesting to observe that these thoughts may not always be directly related to physical appearance.

Some people may be very beautiful on the outside, but if they have just one imperfect tooth, it can be a source of discomfort for them.

It is important to note that the way we respond to challenges may vary from person to person. I am curious to know if what I have shared has resonated with you. If so, I would like to suggest that we explore ways to embrace change.

So, how might we change? I will share my personal views on this matter.

First, since we are in adolescence and since this is a characteristic of children at this stage, let's try to accept him. In other words, people are different in appearance, each with their own characteristics and beauty. When it comes to dating, isn't there the saying "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"? There is not just one standard of beauty, not to mention that there are now beauty enhancement techniques and various advanced technologies that can improve our appearance.

Secondly, if you can identify even the slightest change in your appearance, you may be able to alter your social interactions. Consider this: if you refrain from self-attack, you may not feel as if others disregard you or are derisively laughing at you when you encounter the same situation. At times, when someone says something to you, they may not intend to offend, but due to our own mentality, we tend to dwell on it and avoid addressing it constructively. We may even question whether we are being overly sensitive.

If you can be a little more relaxed about social interactions, then perhaps you could try occasionally chime in when two people are talking. For example, if you feel particularly bad when your best friend talks to other people, it shows how good-natured you are and that you want to fit in with them too. In that case, you might like to consider being a bit more proactive, even if it's just smiling at them!

If you try to do this, you may find that the current situation will gradually change.

If I might make one more suggestion, it would be to believe in yourself and your youthful vitality. The future is bright, and it's up to us to make it happen! We must remember that our own lives are not influenced by what other people think.

I believe there is a saying that goes something like this: "I am enough as I am." And, "Look within, don't look outside." Perhaps it would be helpful to focus on changing ourselves, rather than asking others to change. With the right mindset, the beauty will come.

It is also worth noting that when you change, you may find that those around you also have positive feelings towards you.

Please remember that the world and I care about you and want the best for you.

Hello!

From what I can gather from your description, I sense a certain feeling of loneliness and helplessness.

It seems that you may lack confidence in your appearance, and that you feel others are laughing at you.

It would be wonderful if you could get along with your parents, but unfortunately, you end up arguing.

You would like to join in the happy conversations with your classmates, but it seems that you are unable to do so, which makes you feel lonely. You are perhaps blaming yourself for your current interpersonal relationships, thinking that it's your own fault and that your lack of ability has caused it.

These issues are undoubtedly a significant source of distress for you.

I'm not sure how old you are, so I hope you'll find my thoughts helpful in any case.

1. Generally speaking, people who are good-looking are better able to access various resources. However, this is not an absolute rule. I recently watched a talk show, and the performances of the contestants, Ji Sheng and Birdie, were quite inspiring.

It might be helpful to look for the positive side of things to give ourselves strength.

2. It might be helpful to consider that relationships with parents and classmates are different, but they are essentially all relationships. You could try to observe how arguments with your parents happen every time, what is said and heard, and then the argument starts.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider whether we all understand each other when it comes to communication. It's possible that misunderstandings could be a source of arguments. It's also worth noting that arguments are not caused by one person alone; they can involve all parties involved in a relationship.

3. It might be helpful to consider communicating with your classmates in a different way. For example, you could take the initiative to greet someone, ask someone for a small favor, or show concern for someone, which could potentially promote relationships with classmates.

I can imagine that it can be challenging to be good at socializing, as everyone has a different temperament. It's important to remember that you don't have to change who you are. Prioritize your own well-being and do things in a way that makes you feel comfortable.

It might also be helpful to assess whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, i.e., whether you feel drained or recharged after talking to many people.

I hope these suggestions are helpful and useful to you.

I hope this finds you well.

I hope this finds you well. I just wanted to drop you a quick line to see how things are going.

Hello, I am Teacher Yuxin. From your description, it is clear that you have a difficult heart. You want to get along with people but are unable to do so. You want to be close to your family but are always angry. Loneliness makes people feel cold, so cold that the blood freezes. Only family can make the heart feel a little warmer. By hurting them, you can release some of the feeling of being hurt yourself. Unfortunately, after you release it, you will feel guilty and self-reproach, which is really difficult.

You are a student living in a dormitory. You are probably a high school or college student, about 15-22 years old. If you are a junior high school student living in a dormitory, you left home too young. If I estimate that you are over 15 years old, I can say with confidence that what I say will be more rational, and I hope it can help you understand yourself better.

It's a terrible feeling when you think people outside your family are laughing at you because you don't look good. We all care a lot about how we look. When people comment on our appearance, it's as if they're commenting on us as a person.

However, physical characteristics do not define us. We have so much more than just our appearance. We have preferences, dreams, and knowledge of the world. People who don't understand these things have no right to comment on us. They only see the surface, not the complete picture. They don't know us at all.

If the people around you who laugh at you are also young, or have a young mentality, then ignore these voices. After a few years, you will have grown up and you will laugh and say, "Why take children seriously?"

Family members know us best and their comments affect us the most. A negative comment like "cold-blooded" is like a sharp blade piercing into the heart, and the heart will bleed. But is cold-bloodedness real?

That part is true.

This is called relationship verification. Many people believe that no matter how bad they are, there are people who love them and will not abandon them.

If someone was really "abandoned" when they were very young, they will have a particularly strong need to verify relationships. It doesn't matter how many people they care about or how important the relationship is. They will behave badly and try to destroy the relationship in order to verify how strong the relationship is.

This happens without the person being aware of it, and it's called unconscious or subconscious. Once we become aware of it, we can stop acting on impulse and do what we need to do, and not do what we don't need to do.

You should understand that arguing with your mother and acting "cold-blooded" is an expression of your need for your mother and your family, and your fear that they may not be there or that their love may not be there. It is full of your deep attachment and emotions towards your family.

You should communicate with a counselor and practice identifying and expressing emotions and feelings. This will help your inner growth.

I wish you the best.

Dear questioner,

Good morning,

My name is Kelly.

Growing up can be a confusing time. It's normal to feel unsure of yourself and have low self-esteem. It's important to remember that just because your classmates may seem to have good relationships, it doesn't mean they don't have their own challenges.

It's important to remember that you still have family who love you very much, and that some people have good interpersonal relationships. However, it seems that your family relationships may not be as positive as you would like.

Perhaps we could talk about our confusion together?

[Discuss the importance of self-confidence]

I recall from my childhood that I was quite mischievous, and my mother often told me that I wasn't as attractive as I could be. I believe that the more she said this, the more I behaved in ways that were less than ideal. At the time, I was not as happy at home as I could have been, so I often sought solace in the company of my friends. I remember that when I was around four or five years old, I frequently found myself sneaking out to play.

I also had the experience of encountering friends who didn't like me, and I remember a group of people who often laughed at me behind my back. I chose to stop playing with them.

Later on, I had the opportunity to make a few more friends. If I had food, I would always share it with them, and if they had something fun to do, they would call me. I probably had one or two really good friends before elementary school, and we often played together, forgetting about those who didn't like me.

I would say that I had low self-esteem when I was at primary school, because my parents were not always encouraging. When I first started at primary school, my math teacher was very strict, and I was afraid of him. He got on well with my parents, and I was always afraid that he would tell on me. He often wouldn't let me go home on time, and when I came home late, my parents would scold me, saying that I must not have studied hard enough to get left behind by my teacher.

I was fortunate to have a Chinese teacher who was very encouraging. In gratitude for her guidance, I made a conscious effort to excel in Chinese. I ensured I completed all required tasks on time, demonstrated consistent effort in my studies, and was consistently recognized as one of the top students in my class.

I would like to share how I gradually gained confidence.

I am aware that I have some areas for improvement, but I also do my best to do things well within my abilities.

In primary school, I also encountered a few individuals who found my mathematical abilities somewhat lacking, but I was fortunate to have a few close friends with whom I would walk every day. In hindsight, those joyful moments served as a welcome distraction from the less pleasant experiences.

I must admit that I lack a certain degree of self-confidence. Apart from my family, I often feel that other people are laughing at me because I don't look good and I'm always the butt of jokes.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider whether we laugh at our classmates.

I don't believe this was the case with most of my classmates. Even if there were a few exceptions, I remember that when I was a student, I met several classmates with disabilities, and I would actively help them. Moreover, they were cheerful, lively, and enthusiastic, so I don't think anyone would have laughed at them.

In fact, most of my classmates are kind and simple, and there is no standard of beauty. When I was a child, my parents also said I was not good-looking, because at that time I did not yet have my own aesthetic ability, and I was still a student and did not know how to dress up.

On the other hand, there were also people who complimented me on my cuteness and liveliness.

I've noticed that I don't always see eye to eye with my classmates, which can sometimes make me feel a bit lonely.

My dear, I can relate to your feelings. Being alone can be lonely, and everyone desires friendship.

Perhaps we could consider inviting a classmate to hang out with us?

For instance, if A is not interested, we could perhaps ask B. There are many people in the class, so you could consider taking the initiative to chat with everyone.

I believe that being proactive and enthusiastic will help us gain friendships, even if it's just one. You might like to give it a try.

It might be helpful to try appreciating your classmates more, sincerely expressing your feelings when you see the good points in others, remembering a few of your appreciated classmates, and sending them a card during the holidays.

Perhaps you could tell them what you like about them.

You might also consider giving your favorite classmate a book they like, which could facilitate communication. It might also be helpful to pay attention to what they like reading.

I believe that friendship is a two-way street. If you put in the effort, you will surely reap the rewards.

How do you cope when you feel lonely?

I must admit that I was not particularly adept at mathematics during my primary school years. However, I did enjoy reading and Chinese, and I often spent my recess time reading comic books. I continued this habit for many years. Later, my teacher often invited me to tell stories to the class, and my classmates often gathered around me to read together.

I believe that activities such as reading, singing, and drawing have the potential to foster closer relationships among individuals.

[Relationship with family members]

Could you please tell me a little bit more about why you and your mother have been having some disagreements?

Mum and Dad love you very much. Would you say you like the way they love you?

Perhaps it would be better not to argue and then go home and argue, because you're in a bad mood after school?

Parents and children are family members. Disagreements can be a way of showing trust in your parents and that you can be honest with them about your feelings. It's also good that family members can let you express your uncomfortable emotions.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider the reason for wanting to argue next time. Is there something different about this argument compared to previous ones?

If arguing doesn't seem to be the best solution, perhaps there are other ways to approach the situation?

It might be helpful to write about it before you argue and record it in a notebook.

If this answer does not fully address your question, please feel free to ask more questions next time. With time and patience, you will likely find the answer you are looking for.

At the same time, I will affirm you, appreciate you, and seek your input and guidance. This demonstrates that you are a person with your own thoughts and that you are thoughtful and proactive.

"I listened to every word they said, and it felt like my heart was bleeding."

Dear, I can imagine it might be challenging for you to recall the specific words or actions of your parents that have caused you distress. If it's not too much trouble, I kindly request that you write down what they said and categorize your feelings about it.

If you have any further questions, please feel free to write them down and we will do our best to provide guidance and support.

It's possible that your parents love you unconditionally and want you to be happy.

It's important to remember that many parents are still learning as they navigate the challenges of parenting. They may not always be aware of their actions or inactions, especially in areas where they feel less confident.

As a mother myself, I can relate to my daughter's experiences. I've come to realize that I can always improve, and I'm working on becoming a better version of myself.

You might also consider trying this approach. Perhaps you could choose not to argue with your mother for a few weeks and instead write her a letter every week, outlining your expectations.

It can be difficult to see your best friend getting along so well with other people, which can make you feel a little lonely.

My dear, this is a normal psychological state, which shows that you are very emotional and care about your best friend. Even if you feel a little jealous and uncomfortable, it is a reminder that we may care about each other too much.

I would also like to suggest that you consider making more friends, each with a different personality and strengths. Reading biographies and making friends can be beneficial for personal growth.

If you feel these issues are ongoing, you may wish to consider speaking with a professional counselor or learning more about interpersonal relationships in your community.

I believe that you will one day thank yourself for having experienced all the joys and sorrows of growing up.

I would like to suggest the following books for your consideration:

You might find it helpful to read books such as "The Courage to Be Disliked," "Mr. Toad Goes to the Psychologist," and "Say Yes to Life."

Rilke wrote "Letters to a Young Poet," and I believe there is a passage in there that might resonate with you.

If I might make a suggestion, perhaps it would be helpful to consider the following:

It would be beneficial to find a simple and sincere harmony that does not need to be changed, regardless of how you may transform yourself in the future.

It would be beneficial to cherish their unfamiliarity with life and to try to understand those who have entered old age. It is possible that they are afraid of the loneliness you believe in.

It might be helpful to avoid adding fuel to the drama that often plays out between parents and children. This can take a lot out of children and erode the love of many parents, even if their love doesn't always understand us. It's important to remember that they are actually loving and warming us.

It might be best to avoid asking for advice from them and to try not to worry about understanding. Instead, you could believe in the love that has been preserved for you like an inheritance. You might find it helpful to trust that there is strength in this love, and that a kind of happiness is possible without having to leave this happiness in order to expand your world.

I believe that together, we can explore this vast world and that the young you will create your own world.

With time, as you grow and read more and meet new people, you will gradually evolve into a different version of yourself.

I can relate to your confusion. When you are confused, I suggest we immerse ourselves in the sea of books and explore together.

Wishing you a very happy day!

I would like to express my love and appreciation for the world and for you.

Hello, question asker. I'm Evan.

Give the questioner a hug to make them feel stronger. The questioner is not happy with how they look and is always insecure.

The questioner feels loved by their parents but misunderstood. They vent their negative emotions on their parents, feeling sad and lonely.

A lack of self-confidence can cause negative emotions. To feel better, you need to look at your heart.

When you face your needs, you can face these negative emotions. Building self-confidence is difficult, but it is possible.

I can only give simple suggestions since the question was asked on a platform.

Look neat.

The questioner complains that he is not good-looking and is mocked by his classmates. He can try to change the first impression others have of him, which is that he has a neat appearance.

People often look at a person as a whole, and appearance only accounts for a certain percentage. If you want to make a good impression, start with your appearance and clothing.

Clean clothes make a good impression.

Apart from your appearance, which is hard to change, other things like your hairstyle, body shape, posture, and temperament can be improved through training. As long as you are willing to train and improve yourself, I believe your appearance will change.

As the saying goes, "the heart creates the face." When the questioner changes their heart, their appearance will also change, and they will stand out.

Know yourself.

To get rid of negative emotions, you need to understand who you are, what you're good at, and what you want. Write down your qualities and strengths to see what they are.

I observe others.

I summarize experiences well.

I explore myself.

I am patient and can immerse myself in something if I recognize it.

I can sing.

I like reading.

You may have many strengths and qualities. Take your time and write them down as you think of them.

List your achievements.

Some classmates might laugh at the questioner because they don't know them. But the questioner needs to know that they've had many achievements since childhood.

The questioner has many achievements, big and small. These achievements help the questioner understand themselves better.

For example:

When did you learn to sing?

I can take criticism without getting angry.

I learned to ride a bike.

Listing your achievements helps you understand your strengths.

Learn to laugh at yourself.

The questioner may feel that others are laughing at their appearance, but they can also think the other way around: their appearance brings happiness to others. If the questioner learns to laugh at themselves, it will be difficult for others to make fun of their appearance.

Gradually, the questioner began to feel their own value from these laughs. Self-deprecation is a way of fighting back. When you say what others want to say, they don't know what to say back. And when the questioner doesn't care what others say, it's hard for others to hurt them.

It may be hard at first to deal with others making fun of your appearance, but you can try not to show it. Eventually, they will stop. Even if you act cheerful and bring up the matter, they will quickly change the subject.

Move!

If you're feeling negative, you can release those emotions through exercise. Moving is a great way to fight negative feelings.

If you want to feel better, get active, go outside, and enjoy the fresh air and sunshine. It will be hard at first, but you will feel different after a while. You will feel full of energy, your mood will improve, and you will feel like you can be happy again.

Exercise gets the blood flowing, giving the brain more oxygen and making you feel better. It also makes your brain release a feel-good chemical, which helps you feel happier.

Talk about your worries.

If you need help, you can get it from yourself or from friends. But you have to be willing to ask for help.

You need to find someone you can talk to openly. If you can, see a psychologist. You can also talk to other people who will listen. This can help you feel better.

Be yourself.

If you feel negative emotions, do more of the things you like. Find the meaning of your life in the things you like. Accept your emotions, and do something to please yourself when you feel down.

Make yourself happy, and have some sweets. They make you happy. It's important to be happy without hurting others.

Don't let negative emotions take over.

I hope this helps.

Hello, question asker. Your description clearly shows that you are depressed, inferior, guilty, and helpless.

You are insecure, and you know that everyone is laughing at you except your family.

However, your relationship with your family is also very cold. You know your family loves you, but your family's accusations make you feel guilty. You feel like you're being accused of being cold-hearted and of feeling guilty towards your family. You even wish you were dead.

You feel depressed, inferior, and guilty.

All this turmoil also makes it difficult for you to get along with your classmates. You feel very lonely and worried about not being able to establish relationships with other people. You are very tired.

You don't know how to get out of it, and you feel helpless. Is that right?

You must hate and loathe yourself. You must feel that you are utterly bad and that you have hurt even those who love you so much. This is why no one can like you and be with you.

It's not your fault if you argue with your family.

You are a very filial child. You don't want to argue with your mother, but you can't control yourself.

Let me be clear: it is normal to have strong emotions when you have a conflict with your family. Something must have happened to make you feel this way.

Everyone needs to be themselves. Resisting and expressing different opinions is not cold-blooded or rebellious. Everyone has the right to be themselves and express themselves.

You must understand what is really going on before you condemn yourself.

True love will make you like yourself more and more.

True love will make you like yourself more and more, believe in yourself more and more, and provide you with full support and energy.

You will be accepted and embraced, no matter what happens. Once you think about it, you will feel full of strength and confidence.

What pierces your heart and makes you doubt yourself, hate yourself, and blame yourself is not love. It is emotional manipulation, plain and simple.

You must learn to distinguish between love and control.

Don't doubt. Don't be timid. Just try it.

Don't accept anyone's judgment or definition of you. Believe in yourself and try boldly.

Don't be afraid of failure or getting hurt. Experience and feel it all. Believe in yourself and know that you can have your own opinions, that you can be different from others, that there is no absolute right or wrong in this world, and that no one has the right to judge and define you at will, not even your parents.

You absolutely can have a good relationship and deserve to be treated well.

Best wishes!