I haven't graduated from college, and my relatives arranged a blind date for me. Am I resistant to marriage and love?

Hello, question asker!

It's clear from your description that your elders arranged a blind date for you without your consent. This is why you instinctively resist the idea of a relationship. Secondly, you are not ready to fall in love and get married. You have a good impression of the guy, but you're not willing to develop the relationship further.

✅Adults always think they are doing what is best for us, so they will ignore our subjective feelings and make decisions for us without our consent. In their eyes, there is nothing wrong with this. However, you are already an adult about to graduate from university, and of course you want to make your own decisions. [When I heard the news, my relatives had already discussed it with the other party.

I have to go. You will undoubtedly take care of the feelings of adults more, and you are an understanding girl.

You and the guy come from very different backgrounds, and you know this is a problem. That's why you don't want to be with him.

✅You were busy with your internship, so you stopped replying to the other person's messages. The other person also told your relatives about the situation between you, and they told you to reject the person quickly because you had not handled the relationship well and made the other person feel bad. Do you feel guilty?

You need to take control of your life. You don't know what's going on, you're very resistant, you feel ashamed, and you're reluctant to find a partner. I'm not sure if you mean that you are unwilling to find a partner with any guy or with a guy introduced by your relatives and elders.

You need to make your own decisions. You're resisting dating because you're not ready. It's also a way to resist and punish your relatives for making decisions for you without your permission. There's no need to rush. Everyone has a different pace of life. Go at your own pace.

You're not alone on this journey. I'm here to support you.

Hello, question asker! I'm your answerer, Enoch.

I can see that the questioner feels a bit resistant inside because he doesn't want to get married or fall in love. I totally get it! But I'm still not sure why the questioner is so resistant to falling in love and getting married.

From what the questioner has shared with us, we can see some of the reasons why she's hesitant about this relationship.

The relative was trying to be helpful, but he didn't think to ask the questioner if she was okay with it first. He thought she'd be happy to have a partner, but she felt disrespected and didn't want to go ahead with it.

On top of that, the relatives, from their own generation's perspective, believe that the other party's parents are a better fit for the subject than the subject's father's family. They feel that the subject's own family is more than enough for him. However, the subject didn't consider that his own family is actually a better match for him than the other party's family. The introducer is a bit wishful and self-righteous.

This also made the questioner feel a bit uneasy.

The questioner was really sweet and kindhearted. She didn't want to offend the introducer or hurt his feelings. She also had a good impression of the boy. But deep down, she just didn't feel that this was the right match for her. So she resisted during the course of contact between the two parties. When the introducer learned of the situation, he came back and asked the questioner to decisively reject the boy, lest he offend the other party's parents. This made the questioner even more resistant to facing such a relationship and marriage.

It's totally normal for relatives to arrange marriages for people at this age. But it's also important to remember that everyone has their own thoughts and judgments. When others introduce people to you, it's good to understand your own expectations for the future marriage. It's also important to remember that you shouldn't let others dictate your decisions and lose your own identity. Marriage is a big decision, and it's something you should think about carefully.

Good day. I perceive you to be a kind individual. It is evident that you harbor feelings of guilt and hurt, which are understandable given the circumstances. It is important to recognize that you are also a victim in this situation.

As the primary figures in this relationship, your experiences may differ from those who are bound by familial arrangements.

A lifetime comprises a series of episodes, some of which are positive and others negative. The combination of these episodes contributes to the construction of an individual's life narrative.

Although you have not yet graduated from university, your writing indicates that you are a diligent and hardworking individual. Despite growing up in a rural setting, you have consistently demonstrated a strong work ethic in pursuing your academic goals. It is evident that you have a multitude of places you wish to visit, books you wish to read, and more picturesque landscapes to enjoy. However, your family and relatives are unable to maintain the same pace of progress, leading to occasional disagreements with you regarding your approach to handling matters.

Your response to this situation was appropriate. It is not a reflection of your personality, so self-blame is unwarranted.

It is not uncommon to experience negative emotions such as sadness, anger, frustration, annoyance, and disrespect. However, when one's pride is hurt, it can trigger a cascade of negative emotions, leading to a prolonged state of distress. These emotions can then be directed towards external parties, such as the boy in question, perpetuating a cycle of negativity. This can result in feelings of guilt, as the individual becomes aware of their emotional issues but lacks the ability to regulate them effectively.

This has no bearing on one's character, and thus, self-blame is unwarranted.

Marriage or love is an experience in life. There is no need to deny oneself or abandon oneself. Indeed, the majority of people in life are single and ordinary. No individual is inherently superior to another, and no person is inherently richer or poorer than another. What truly constrains an individual is only their own way of thinking. Fundamentally, all individuals are the same; there is no difference.

These circumstances will not impede our ability to continue learning, growing, working hard, studying, and enriching our lives. Our actions are determined by our inner strength, and the feeling of being in love will manifest naturally, like the fragrance of flowers.

I would like to take this opportunity to wish you a splendid, sunny, rich, and colorful college experience.

May I suggest that you offer comfort to the resistant, conflicted, and helpless you?

I believe your situation may have little to do with your family setting up blind dates or which guy you are interested in. It seems you may simply be unsure about falling in love.

It seems that there might be something in your heart that is holding you back from dating. Could it be something you've experienced that has left a lasting impression? Or is it possible that you haven't yet identified the challenges or setbacks you're facing?

Secondly, it would be advisable to communicate with your relatives and the gentleman in question to kindly explain that it is not yet appropriate or that you are not ready for a relationship or marriage. It might be helpful to maintain a friendly, though not romantic, relationship with them. This could make things easier for everyone and help you to move on with a lighter heart.

I believe this is also normal.

Third, I'm not sure if you've had the chance to experience love before, or if someone has pursued you romantically, or if you have someone you're interested in. You haven't mentioned any of this.

I believe that a combination of factors may have contributed to your current situation. To identify the best course of action, it would be helpful to conduct a detailed analysis of the situation.

I hope I can be of some help to you.

I hope we can maintain communication. My name is Qingnian JIA2020.

Yixinli I would be happy to answer any questions you may have about Hall Mutual Aid Community, the World, and I Love You. You can find me on Xinhua1.com/qa.