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I hope to fall in love before I start working. How do I talk to girls?

graduating big city average appearance social media communication difficulties
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I hope to fall in love before I start working. How do I talk to girls? By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024

After graduating, I stayed in a big city. My work, education, and family conditions are considered to be average to above average, and I have an average appearance.

I have never been in a relationship because my family was very strict when I was young. After I went to university, there were not many girls in my major, so I had very few opportunities to interact with the opposite sex.

This year is the last year of my graduate school, so I hope to be in a relationship before I start working. Recently, I have met and chatted with some girls through social media apps.

However, as I have rarely dated before, let alone been in a relationship, I often find it difficult to communicate with them.

Since the girls I've met so far are not the proactive type, I need to find topics of conversation. But since I don't know each other very well, I often ramble on and on. Many girls have commented that I don't speak with much logic. But I'm afraid of the silence, so I keep changing the subject, while learning more about the other person.

But so far, I haven't been able to get to the point with a girl where we are at least good friends, so I think there might be something wrong with my chat ideas that makes those girls not interested in me.

Nathaniel Anderson Nathaniel Anderson A total of 2506 people have been helped

Good day, question asker.

I am a relatively carefree individual, and it is my hope that I can provide some assistance in alleviating your concerns.

Let us undertake a detailed examination of the particular issue that the questioner is facing and endeavor to comprehend and analyze it.

It is my hope to fall in love before I commence my professional career. Could you kindly elucidate the most efficacious method of engaging in discourse with the fairer sex?

I have remained in a major urban center following my graduation. My professional, academic, and familial circumstances are regarded as being within the normal range, and I possess a conventional appearance.

I have never been in a relationship due to the strict nature of my upbringing. Following my enrollment in university, there were few female students in my academic program, limiting my opportunities for interaction with the opposite sex.

This year marks the final year of my graduate studies, and it is my hope that I will have formed a relationship by the time I commence my professional career. Recently, I have engaged in conversations with several individuals via social media applications.

However, given my limited experience with dating and relationships, I often find it challenging to communicate effectively with them.

As the women I have encountered thus far are not particularly assertive, they have required me to identify topics of discussion. However, due to my lack of familiarity with them, I have often digressed unnecessarily. Many women have commented that my discourse is not particularly logical. Nevertheless, I am reluctant to allow silence to prevail, and thus I tend to redirect the conversation while attempting to gain a deeper understanding of the other person.

However, thus far, I have been unable to establish a connection with a female individual to the extent that we are at least on friendly terms. This leads me to hypothesize that there may be an inherent flaw in my approach to communication that is deterring the female participants from developing a romantic interest in me.

From the information provided, it is evident that you possess a multitude of admirable qualities. Consequently, it is likely that you will not encounter any significant difficulties in finding a suitable partner.

It is generally acknowledged that girls are more reticent than boys, and I am no exception to this rule. Consequently, if you meet a girl you like, or a girl you have your heart set on, you might as well adopt a bold and straightforward approach, as this may yield different results.

"Many girls have commented that my speech lacks logical coherence. However, I am fearful of prolonged periods of silence, and thus I tend to change the subject while simultaneously attempting to gain a deeper understanding of the other person."

"Chat Topics" To enhance one's relationship, it is advisable to consider initiating topics that demonstrate concern, share one's daily life, express worries, disseminate happiness, engage in emotional communication, and so forth. To deepen a relationship with a female partner, it is recommended to plan the pace of the conversation, prepare a variety of topics, and proactively initiate the discussion.

It is also important to learn to listen. It is crucial to avoid being self-centered and continuing to talk about oneself. Instead, one should be willing to stop and listen to the other person's experiences and emotions.

Additionally, one may learn certain techniques to enhance the quality of the conversation. It is only when the female participant feels positive about the interaction that she will invest more emotionally.

Additionally, it is crucial to maintain a sense of propriety. The emotional bond that may develop from such interactions may dissipate if communication ceases. Therefore, when the opportunity arises, it is advisable to take the girl out for activities such as a movie or dinner.

An alternative approach would be to be honest and explain the reason for your presence. You could say that you are not particularly skilled at expressing yourself, but that you are willing to make an effort to adapt your communication style to suit the other person. It is also important to avoid giving the impression that you are merely trying to gain something from the interaction.

It is important to note that there are numerous aspects to consider, but it is crucial to avoid premature actions that could potentially hinder the progress of the interaction. If the other individual does not exhibit initial interest, it is advisable to disengage while there is still an opportunity to do so.

In some cases, the issue may not be a lack of conversation topics, but rather a discrepancy in preferences between the two individuals.

It is also important to consider the emotional state of the interlocutor and to regulate one's own mood accordingly. Attempting to create a relaxed, cheerful, and pleasant atmosphere is beneficial. If the conversation is no longer productive, it is advisable to conclude it in a timely manner and avoid prolonging the interaction unnecessarily.

A suboptimal conversation can negatively impact one's reputation. It may require a significant number of positive interactions to offset this damage. Perseverance is crucial.

In conclusion, the aforementioned suggestions are intended to be beneficial.

My name is Xiaobai, and I am free of concerns. I extend my affection to the world and to you.

I extend my best wishes to you.

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Savannah Grace Kelley Savannah Grace Kelley A total of 5634 people have been helped

Dear Questioner, You inquire as to how one might engage in conversation with a prospective romantic interest prior to embarking on a professional endeavor.

Firstly, I commend you for your awareness of your own inner needs and your efforts to satisfy them. Now, let us examine your query in closer detail.

You indicate that you have resided in a major urban center since graduation, with average employment, educational, and familial circumstances, and an average physical appearance. Given that you were strictly supervised by your family during your formative years, you have never been in a relationship.

After entering university, there were few female students in the same major, and few opportunities to interact with the opposite sex. This year is your final year of graduate school, so you hope to be in a relationship before you start working.

I have recently initiated contact with several individuals via social media and engaged in preliminary discussions. However, given my limited prior experience interacting with women, let alone pursuing romantic relationships,

As a result, communication with them is often challenging. Given that the current contacts you have are not proactive, it is essential to identify suitable topics of conversation. However, given the limited familiarity, discussions tend to be lengthy and lack coherence, which has led to feedback indicating a lack of logical reasoning.

However, you are concerned about the lack of engagement and therefore attempt to redirect the conversation to gain more insight into the other person's perspective. Despite your efforts, you have not yet reached the level of familiarity with any of the girls, at least not to the extent of becoming close friends. This has led you to question whether there are aspects of your approach to conversations that might be causing the girls to lose interest in you.

The establishment of a relationship requires a process, so please allow sufficient time for this to occur.

Building a relationship between people takes time. It is important to proceed at a pace that is neither too fast nor too slow. When we are in the process of building a relationship with someone, if we proceed too fast, it may provoke the other person's defensive psychology and make them wonder if we have an ulterior motive. If we proceed too slowly, the relationship may grow cold and distant over time.

Building relationships is a complex process that requires a significant investment of time and effort. Given your limited experience with girls, it is understandable that you may not have the necessary familiarity to establish a relationship with one at this time.

Given your lack of experience in this area, it is advisable to proceed at a measured pace. When meeting a girl you wish to get to know better, it is recommended that you pay her more attention and demonstrate care. A methodical and consistent approach will facilitate the development of a relationship over time.

It is important to determine whether your objective is to pursue a romantic relationship or to develop friendships with women.

If your objective is to form a romantic relationship with a woman, it is essential to focus your attention on a woman who you genuinely like and who is attractive to you. Pay close attention to her needs and demonstrate care and interest. You may have to invest significant effort and resources to pursue her and gain her trust, but this will be worth it in the long run. If your goal is to develop friendships with women and learn how to interact with them, you can continue doing what you are doing now, using social media to meet more women, engaging in casual conversations with them, and gradually becoming more familiar with them as you chat.

When engaging in conversation with women, it is advisable to facilitate further dialogue by demonstrating active listening skills and a respectful demeanor. By listening attentively and conveying respect, you can foster a sense of warmth and connection.

I would like to recommend Lil Rhonde's "How to Make the One You Love Love You" as a valuable resource.

This book provides clarity on the nuances of love, dispels the myths surrounding it, and elucidates its essence. It also equips readers with scientific insights and skills to enhance their romantic pursuits. If you have the time, I highly recommend reading this book, as it could potentially assist you in developing a deeper understanding of love and relationships.

I wish you the best of luck, and I hope you find my answer to be helpful.

I would like to take this opportunity to extend my warmest regards to you and the world at large.

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Stephen Stephen A total of 932 people have been helped

It can be challenging to have a meaningful conversation with a girl you don't know well and who isn't very active on the other side of the screen.

As a result, it was not uncommon for conversations to become somewhat awkward, and for silences to fall between us.

Initially, it can be challenging for people to fully understand each other's identities and personalities, especially when there's a lack of familiarity. It's natural for individuals to be cautious about sharing too much personal information at the start of a relationship.

It may be helpful to take the lead at times.

Perhaps it would be more beneficial to change the subject in order to find something to talk about. This may help to facilitate a deeper connection on an emotional level.

As a result, the girl may perceive your words as lacking emotion, making it challenging to establish a connection. The conversation may feel formal and lack interest or attraction, making it difficult to build intimacy.

1. I must admit that I lacked experience in romantic matters, which made it challenging for me to relax and connect with girls naturally.

After graduating, I stayed in a big city. I believe my work, education, and family conditions are considered to be slightly above average, and I have an average appearance.

Given the strict upbringing I received, I have not had the opportunity to be in a relationship. After entering university, there were fewer girls in the same major, and I had very few chances to interact with the opposite sex.

If you were brought up in a strict household and were not allowed to fall in love, it may make you hesitant to get close to girls.

It is understandable that someone who has not yet had the opportunity to be in a relationship with a girl may feel they lack experience in getting along with them.

However, experience may suggest that your inner sense of intimacy with girls may be limited, which could potentially impact your ability to interact with them in a natural and relaxed manner.

2. Social media communication has both advantages and disadvantages.

This year is my last year of graduate school, so I am hopeful that I will be in a relationship before I start working. Recently, I have had the opportunity to meet and chat with some girls through social media apps.

However, given his limited experience in interacting with girls, he often found it challenging to communicate effectively.

It might be helpful to view hoping to fall in love before work as a plan that is goal-oriented.

It could be said that love is perhaps more likely to be a random occurrence and that it can be encountered but not sought.

It might be the case that when you go into a relationship with the determination to complete a task, it could perhaps result in a tendency to fall into a routine.

As an example, if you don't have the opportunity to meet someone in person, you can connect with them on social media.

One of the benefits of social media is the vast array of possibilities it offers. It provides a convenient and flexible platform for communication, which can be beneficial when you're not yet familiar with someone in person.

One challenge is that it can be difficult to get to know each other more intuitively, and there may be defensiveness and concealment, which can make it harder for the relationship to develop and deepen smoothly.

Love is a feeling of excitement. If you only use social media to find a girlfriend, it will take a lot of effort to get to know each other and build a relationship. There is a risk that something might go wrong in this process, which could potentially end the relationship before it has a chance to develop further.

3. Some girls may be on their guard and may not feel comfortable opening up about in-depth topics.

Since the girls I've met so far are not particularly proactive, I've had to take the initiative in finding topics of conversation. However, since we don't know each other that well, I tend to ramble on, and many girls have commented that I could improve my logic. I'm naturally cautious about awkward silences, so I try to keep the conversation flowing while getting to know each other better.

It's possible that many people who make friends through social media may not be as experienced at socializing as they could be.

Some people are naturally introverted, while others may have experienced emotional challenges in the past.

It may be the case that such people are cautious and careful inside.

It is also possible that communication between the two parties may be challenging because they are hesitant to open up fully at once.

It is not uncommon for people to find themselves unable to delve deeply into a topic when talking to a girl. This can result in a sense of monotony, where the conversation loses its spark. It is important to recognize that this is a natural part of the conversation process and to be open to exploring new topics.

It would be beneficial to keep finding new topics to talk about.

If the conversation remains superficial and shifts rapidly, it can make people feel like you're moving in different directions, and they may struggle to keep up. They might perceive a lack of logical coherence in your approach, which can be frustrating.

4. It might be helpful to start from an emotional point of view and communicate with girls with all your heart.

I have not yet reached the point of being at least good friends with a girl, which leads me to believe that there may be aspects of my approach to chatting with them that could be improved.

It may be helpful to have a plan for the chat to make it go more smoothly.

Perhaps the way you think is a bit too rational and cold, which makes it difficult to feel the warmth of falling in love.

When chatting with girls, it's not necessary to be clear-thinking. What's more important is whether you are communicating with them wholeheartedly.

Based on the points we analyzed earlier, you might consider making some targeted improvements.

1) If you lack dating experience and find it challenging to relax and connect with girls naturally, you might benefit from mentally rehearsing dating scenarios with girls, including ways to get closer and feel more intimate, and changing your internal environment for dating girls.

2) Communication on social media has both advantages and disadvantages. It requires a significant investment of time and effort to get to know each other and build a relationship in the early stages. It's important to remember that it's a two-way process.

It is possible that if you only want to get to know the other person and keep asking them questions, it may make the girl feel a little uncomfortable and perhaps shut you out. On the other hand, if you don't approach the relationship with the goal of getting something done, but just want to make friends with them, it may be more casual and go more smoothly.

3) If the other person is not taking the initiative, they may be on their guard. At this time, you could consider talking more about your work and life, including past experiences, so that the girl can get to know you better and open their heart to you.

4) First, it would be beneficial to get in touch with girls more often. There is no need to become lovers right away. After you become friends with them, if both parties are attracted, then you can talk about a relationship with them with all your heart and passion. At that time, you may find yourselves naturally talking about the relationship. There is simply no need to use any techniques or ideas to chat.

I hope these answers are helpful to you.

I'm Yan Guilai, a psychological counselor. I hope you find love around the corner!

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Brooklyn Brooklyn A total of 472 people have been helped

Hello, my child. I'm Xiang Yuchenghuan, a Heart Exploration coach. I hope my answer can be of some help to you.

From my perspective, most girls tend to be more passive in relationships. This may be influenced by our traditional culture, where women are often more reserved and shy. You mentioned that you connect with some girls through social media, and you feel that your communication with them is often challenging. Since you don't have a strong foundation, you tend to ramble and they perceive you as lacking logical coherence. You often change the subject because you're afraid of silence, trying to understand the other person better. However, you haven't yet been able to establish a solid friendship with a girl. You believe there might be an underlying issue with your approach to chatting, which might be deterring the girls from being interested in you. Is that right?

Communication is key. It's important to understand the differences in how men and women think and interact. We need to recognize the needs of the other person and meet them. Girls care about feeling cared for and secure in the relationship. They need to feel that the other person is reliable and responsible. When we meet these needs, they'll feel at ease with us.

So, my advice is:

It's important to understand the differences in how men and women think and communicate.

First, let's look at the differences between men and women when it comes to problem-solving.

Generally speaking, men like to set goals and solve practical problems. So when problems arise, guys always turn into "monks" and reason with each other, offering lots of suggestions. What they don't realize is that girls don't really need an explanation or answer to their problems. They just want you to listen to them and understand how they feel.

Boys are really focused on their sense of worth and achievement, but girls are super invested in relationships and want to be able to do something for the boys. They're always ready to do their best to help the boys solve some problems, but they don't realize that it's really important for men to solve problems on their own. Girls' help for boys not only doesn't make the boys feel happy, but it also makes them feel embarrassed and like they can't do it on their own.

Next, let's take a look at how each gender handles stress differently.

Men and women handle stress very differently.

Men and women respond quite differently when they're under pressure.

When men are stressed, they often go to find a place to be alone to think about solutions to the problem by themselves. Once they've figured out how to solve the problem, they feel rejuvenated. If they can't find a solution, they'll mostly keep racking their brains and won't pay attention to the people and things in the outside world.

However, this isn't the case for women. When they're stressed, they especially like to find someone to talk to. In the process of talking and being listened to, they can relieve their anxiety and stress. This is because the language system of the female brain is more developed physiologically, and women prefer to express themselves through words.

So, when men are stressed, they need time and space to be alone, while women need to find someone to talk to. Men may find this annoying or distracting, which can lead to arguments and trigger new conflicts.

So, it's important to understand how both sexes deal with stress differently. When a woman gets annoyed, it's good to listen to her and let her talk it through. This can really help your relationship.

Finally, we also need to understand the differences in language and thinking between men and women.

There are some pretty big differences between men and women when it comes to language and thinking.

Women are better at rhetoric and will use exaggeration, metaphors, and dramatic expressions to convey their feelings. Men, on the other hand, prefer to be straightforward and say what they mean, rather than beating around the bush. They often take what women say literally and take women's exaggerations and rhetoric seriously, thus reacting incorrectly.

For instance, if you want to buy a girl flowers, she'll say, "Don't bother, I don't like flowers." But it's not that she doesn't like flowers, it's that she doesn't want you to spend money and she feels bad about your money. Some girls, when they're particularly vulnerable, don't express their vulnerability, but instead say that they're fine. But at that time, they really need the comfort and care of others...

So, for men, understanding women's way of thinking and perceiving, learning to listen, and through continuous exploration and summary, understanding the meaning behind women's words and their real emotional needs (such as whether they need comfort, whether they need to express gratitude, whether they need support...) is the key to effective communication.

2. Girls especially need to feel loved and understood, and they need to feel secure in the relationship.

It's important to remember that when a woman is not happy, she doesn't necessarily need you to solve all her problems. Sometimes, when we see a woman with a worried expression and a sullen mood, we might think that she's asking us to solve her problems. However, her mood might actually improve when she's facing the problem head-on.

This is because boys tend to think that the only way to feel better is to solve the problem. They often assume that girls feel the same way, but in reality, girls want more than just a solution. They want to feel understood and recognized. When they feel understood and recognized, they have the strength to accept the challenges they face. However, most men tend to reason and think of solutions without expressing their understanding and trust in the other person. They also don't always listen patiently to the other person's feelings.

I have a friend who recently had some problems at work. She wanted to quit and work for another company because although her current company is better than others, her boss doesn't trust her, which makes her uncomfortable. She'd rather not take such a high-paying job and avoid the boss's distrust. Every time the boss talks to her, he always tries to reason with her and talk about how to solve the problem, but he doesn't see her feelings or the efforts she has made. And indeed, as she said, the boss doesn't trust her, which makes her lack the motivation to continue.

Yes, in any relationship, women need to feel understood and recognized so they can deal with problems effectively.

For men, though, the need to be accepted is more important. When a man is unconditionally accepted by a woman, he's free to explore ways to improve his behavior.

And when a man feels accepted by a woman, he'll also understand her better, which will warm the relationship and create a virtuous cycle. So, you can also feel it: when you're with someone, do you feel accepted?

Women are naturally more vulnerable and, deep down, want to be cared for and loved. The more a man knows how to care for a woman, the more the woman will trust him.

As a man, it's important to know how to care for the girl you like. Even if you're not great at expressing yourself verbally, you can show your care through actions like sending flowers, gifts she likes, or writing love letters. When she's in a bad mood, listen first and then share your thoughts.

I've asked a lot of friends, and almost all girls will be willing to be with a guy because he makes them feel safe. We value each other's sense of responsibility even more. So if you can show you care, be responsible to the other person, and give them enough sense of security, I believe she will also give you acceptance, care, and trust in return. You will eventually find your own happiness.

Best of luck!

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Daphne Woods Daphne Woods A total of 6132 people have been helped

Hello! It seems that you have never been in a relationship because your family was quite strict when you were growing up.

It seems that you are genuinely interested in falling in love and are making an effort, yet you often feel like you're not making progress. I can imagine how confusing this might be for you.

It would be helpful to identify and address the issues you're facing.

You have not been in a relationship for various reasons, but you have expressed a strong desire to try again, which is a very normal thought.

Given your limited experience with the opposite sex, it's understandable if you feel like you're still learning about relationships and love.

You mentioned that you stayed in the big city after graduation, and that your work, education, and family conditions are all above average. Given these circumstances, it seems that you might have some strength in the marriage market, but it's understandable if your attempts haven't been successful.

You mention that it can be challenging to communicate with girls. It seems like you're trying your best to find topics to connect with them.

You mention that you find it challenging to communicate with girls. You put a lot of effort into finding topics to break the ice, but haven't yet seen the results you're hoping for. It seems that many girls don't view you as highly as you'd like, and you haven't yet had the chance to get involved with them on a deeper level.

Despite your best efforts, it seems that you've hit a roadblock. It's not always easy to navigate the challenges of love.

Despite your best efforts, it seems you've hit a roadblock. It's not enough to have good intentions when it comes to love.

Perhaps it would be helpful to try to identify the root causes of the problems.

In reflecting on your experiences in love, it seems that there may be one area that could benefit from some attention and growth: blindness.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider that your aim in falling in love is not necessarily because you haven't experienced it until now, but rather to fill a gap in your life. This kind of thinking may be perceived as somewhat superficial.

Perhaps it's a bit superficial to think that the only reason you are in a relationship is because you have never experienced it before and want to fill this gap in your life.

It's akin to someone who, after hearing someone say that a certain thing is quite good, goes to the market to buy it without knowing what it looks like, what it's used for, or even how much it costs. It would be beneficial to consider how they could buy it successfully.

Dating is about finding a lifelong partner, so it's worth considering the type of person you like and aspire to be, even if it's just an experiment. If you don't have any ideas about what you're looking for, it can be challenging to convey your sincerity to the other person, which might result in them engaging with you at a superficial level.

While the idea of looking for topics to break the ice in communication is a good one, the method could perhaps be improved. Communication is the transmission of information between two people. The quality of communication does not depend on the ability to talk endlessly, but on whether the information is accurately and smoothly transmitted.

Could I ask what type of person you are and what your areas of expertise are?

It would be beneficial to consider what impression you want to give the other person. If you haven't thought about this and just keep changing the subject to avoid awkward silences, it might be perceived as confusing and subjective, which could potentially affect the other person's feelings.

Perhaps the best way to get to know someone is to listen to what they have to say. You mentioned that the girls you meet are not very proactive, which makes it challenging for you to get to know them.

Could the reason the other person isn't taking the initiative be that you're not giving them the space to express themselves?

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider adjusting your thinking.

Perhaps it would be helpful to adjust your thinking.

As the old saying goes, "If you aim high, you may reach the middle; if you aim middle, you may reach the bottom." This implies that even a very high goal may not be fully achieved due to the influence of reality. Consequently, if the goal is set very low at the beginning, the final result may not be as optimal as desired.

It may be challenging to achieve ideal results if you are too blind in your attempts at love. If you want to have a worthwhile relationship, you might consider adjusting your thinking.

It may be challenging to achieve ideal results if you are too blind in your attempts at love. If you want to have a worthwhile relationship, it might be helpful to adjust your thinking.

First, it would be helpful to take some time to reflect on your own needs and expectations in a relationship. As the art of war suggests, understanding yourself and your partner is key to navigating any situation successfully.

First, it would be helpful to take some time to reflect on your own needs and expectations in a relationship. As the art of war suggests, understanding yourself and your partner is key to navigating challenges and fostering a strong, mutually fulfilling bond.

This assessment includes an evaluation of the conditions you have, your expectations of your romantic partner, your strengths and advantages, and the qualities and conditions you value most in the other person.

With this assessment, you have a general idea of what you're looking for in a partner. It's also easier to determine the scope when choosing a partner, and you can identify topics for communication with each other and discuss your strengths while avoiding your weaknesses.

It would be wise to consider the method of communication as well. Regardless of who you are communicating with, it is always important to consider the other person's feelings, especially in a relationship.

When you raise a topic, it's always a good idea to try to avoid talking only about yourself. Instead, you can ask the other person for their thoughts and be a patient listener. This can help to establish a good communication relationship.

It is often said that those who speak too much may inadvertently reveal flaws in their character. When we lack a clear line of thought, our words may inadvertently reflect shortcomings.

It is possible that silence may be perceived as more favourable than talking incessantly.

Third, sincerity is often perceived as the most impressive quality. It's important to note that sincerity doesn't necessarily entail spending money or buying gifts for others. It's a noble quality that can often win people over more than any technique.

For instance, if you have limited experience in matters of the heart and have not had the opportunity to interact with the opposite sex, you might consider being open about this with the girl you like. This honesty could be a more constructive approach than forcing the issue.

It could be said that the essence of love is heart-to-heart communication. Perhaps a true love affair is one that moves both parties. It may be the case that pursuing a formal love affair does not fill the emptiness in your heart, nor leave you with fond memories.

My name is Teng Ying, and I'm a psychological counselor. I hope you find this information helpful.

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Oscar Frank Jones Oscar Frank Jones A total of 1621 people have been helped

Greetings.

First and foremost, it is imperative to recognize that we are all ordinary individuals, and that you and the majority of the girls you know fall into this category as well. The world of ordinary people is inextricably linked to a multitude of aspects, including clothing, food, housing, transportation, entertainment, and leisure activities.

It is often the case that if one is interested in a particular subject, there will be others who share that interest. It is therefore advisable to present one's true self.

For instance, if one has an affinity for reading, it would be beneficial to engage in discourse with others about reading. Similarly, if one has a penchant for sports, it would be advantageous to converse with others about sports.

If one's preference is for food, then discussing food is an optimal choice. The act of conversing about topics with which one is familiar has the effect of reducing stress and enhancing logical thinking.

Secondly, one can become acquainted with another individual through the Internet. This may be accomplished by examining the words and images that the individual in question posts on their own media.

Typically, such content reflects the other person's current emotional state or represents a longing for a life they aspire to but have not yet attained. These observations can serve as a foundation for initiating a dialogue.

It is advisable to accommodate their interests. One can commence with a relatively minor topic. In the event that one is unable to continue the conversation, it is recommended to conclude the interaction. Attempting to prolong an uncomfortable conversation is unproductive and may exacerbate the initial feelings of unease.

Secondly, in the event that the epidemic is not a significant concern, it is advisable to engage in collective activities outside the school setting that are popular among individuals of a similar age group. Additionally, it is possible to request the company of a friend of the opposite sex online. Should they accept, this could potentially lead to a new romantic interest. However, if they decline, this could provide an opportunity to converse with them further.

Furthermore, it is possible to encounter individuals who share the same interest through the medium of the activity itself.

Ultimately, it seems that you are interested in pursuing a more serious approach to dating. In that case, it would be beneficial to consider your fundamental expectations regarding the individual you are interested in. Based on my observations, a period of approximately three months seems to be a reasonable duration for this initial stage. Should the person you are interacting with fail to align with your expectations, it would be advisable to discontinue the relationship. It is crucial to approach dating with a sense of purpose and to seek out opportunities to interact with potential partners. Best wishes for success in your endeavors.

I wish you the best of luck.

The following observations are offered in the hope that they may prove useful to the reader.

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Alexanderia Thompson Alexanderia Thompson A total of 9330 people have been helped

Hello, question asker. I'm Evan.

The questioner said that before work, there were fewer girls studying the same subject as him, so he has remained single. He is anxious about love and doesn't know how to communicate well with girls, which makes it hard to keep the conversation going. It's not easy for the questioner, who has no experience.

The question asker can only focus on his studies due to family reasons. He lacks experience in many areas, especially when communicating with girls.

Give the OP a little strength by patting him on the shoulder. The OP is actually very good. Not many people in China can go to university, and even fewer can go on to postgraduate studies. The OP is much better than many people.

Love needs to go both ways. You might be rejected even if you're good-looking.

The questioner wants love but doesn't know what love is. What kind of girl is the questioner looking for?

We're all equal when it comes to love. It's important to find someone who's a good match. The questioner just has no experience in dating and is a bit apprehensive about intimate relationships. Is this true?

I can only give the author some simple advice on how to fall in love.

Meet more people.

The questioner said there aren't many ways to meet girls due to study and family. I think the questioner can try other platforms.

For example, he can encourage others who want to take the postgraduate entrance exam by sharing his experience. Gradually, he will meet more people.

Meet lots of people to avoid love at first sight. Get to know someone before you develop the relationship.

Learn to be funny.

Girls like funny guys. Look online for videos of other guys making girls laugh. Pay attention to how they interact with girls and where they learned their jokes.

The questioner can learn some jokes to use when they have nothing to say to a girl.

The questioner should get to know people in other ways too. They can share knowledge or donate money to people in need.

Do nice things for others and you'll make friends.

Don't rush things. You might find several suitable targets by meeting more people. Don't be in a hurry to express your admiration. Remember, time will tell. Spend some time observing the girl to see if her values and family education are similar to yours.

If you like her, you can ask her out to dinner.

If the girl is single, meets your requirements, and you like her, you can ask her out to dinner. If you don't know how or if she'll accept, you can use some techniques to ask her out.

For example, you can ask someone to do something for you. If they agree, it shows they like you or don't reject you. Then, you can thank them and ask them to have dinner.

If you're not close, girls rarely go to dinner with guys because it gives you more time to talk. If you're afraid of being rejected, ask for lunch. It's easier to get a yes.

After you've gotten to know each other a few times, ask her out to dinner. If she says yes, it means she likes you and you can take the relationship further.

Show your love.

If the questioner has asked the girl out to dinner, then the evening is set. The questioner needs to make all the arrangements. For example, where to go for dinner, what to do after dinner, and whether to go to the movies or to some kind of show. The questioner needs to make a plan in advance.

After dinner, the activities are to show your love for the girl. If you're afraid, you can give her red roses or hold her hand. If she doesn't refuse, you can propose your love.

Facing love

Don't think everything will go smoothly. Couples argue. The questioner and his girlfriend come from different families. Even if your families have a lot in common, there will still be differences, which will lead to arguments.

As time goes on, there will be arguments. Remember that you love her, even if she's annoying or selfish.

Don't mention breaking up during an argument. It will only hurt both of you. Find out if she's right for you first. Then you can bring it up when you're calm.

The questioner needs to remember that love requires hard work. Marriage requires even more tolerance and acceptance. The questioner will find that his wife does not think of him as much as she did when they were in love.

But together you can make this love last.

I hope my answer helps. I also hope the questioner finds love soon.

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Silas Young Silas Young A total of 117 people have been helped

Hello, question asker. I'm here to support you!

You don't know how to chat with girls.

It's best not to ask a girl about her family on social media.

If she's interested, she'll be scared off.

If you can, join some popular group activities with your friends outside of school.

You can see how others chat with the opposite sex.

If you like a girl, you can add her on WeChat.

Check if she posts on WeChat Moments.

If she does, you can see what she posts and chat with her about it.

If you want to fall in love, start out as friends with the girl.

Some girls don't like guys asking about their past emotional experiences right away. It's best to avoid this until you know her well.

I hope you can resolve your problem soon.

That's all I can think of.

I hope my answer helps and inspires you. I study hard every day.

Yixinli loves you! Best wishes!

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Jason Jason A total of 8473 people have been helped

Hello, question asker! I'm Jiang 61, and I'm here to help!

Thank you so much for trusting us and sharing your story with us. We're here to help you figure out how to communicate with girls better. Let's see how we can help you solve this problem together!

1. Introduction

1⃣️, Background

You said, "I'll stay in a big city after graduation. My work, education, and family conditions are considered to be average to above average, and I'm of average appearance."

Your background is very concise, and I'd love to know more about you! Can you tell me more about your characteristics, hobbies, strengths, and what your personality is like?

2⃣️, Experience I'm so sorry to hear that your family was strict when you were young. It must have been difficult for you. I can imagine how that would make it harder to form relationships. It's great that you're now in graduate school and hoping to find love before you start working. I'm so excited for you! Have you had any experiences contacting girls through social media? I'd love to hear more about that.

You mentioned that you've never been in a relationship because your family was quite strict when you were younger. After entering university, there were fewer girls in the same major, so it was a bit tricky to make contact with the opposite sex.

This year is the last year of my graduate school, so I'm really hoping to find love before I start working! Recently, I've been chatting with some lovely girls on social media.

However, since I've not had much experience chatting with girls before, let alone being in a relationship, I often find it a bit tricky to communicate with them.

Your experience shows me that your family, education, and previous contact and communication with women are very limited. It's totally normal to be inexperienced and a little nervous!

3⃣️, the problem

You say, "Since the girls I've met so far are not the proactive type, they all need me to find something to talk about. But since I don't really know them, I often ramble on and on, and many girls have commented that I don't speak with much logic. But I'm afraid of the silence, so I keep changing the subject while trying to get to know them better."

Unprompted women

It can be really tough when women don't take the initiative. It can make it harder to understand their psychology and figure out the best way to interact with them.

? Aimless communication

It's totally normal to feel a bit confused when you're chatting with girls who aren't the initiators. It's natural to worry that the conversation will get cold, so you tend to change the topic aimlessly. Unfortunately, this can give the girl the impression that you're not very logical.

4⃣️, confused

You say, "I'd really love to be at least good friends with a girl, but I just don't know what I'm doing wrong."

It seems like your chat strategy might not be the best fit for girls who are not proactive. It's totally normal to feel confused about why you can't become good friends with a girl.

2. Reason I'm so sorry to hear that you haven't had much luck with girls. It can be really tough to find someone you click with, especially when you're not sure what you're looking for. I'm here

1⃣️ Linking elements

I can see that there might be a lack of understanding here.

From your introduction, I get the feeling that you haven't had a good girlfriend because you haven't had the chance to really get to know each other.

As I mentioned before, you only gave us a quick overview of your personal background. It would be great if you could share more about your family, personal hobbies, personality, and strengths. These are the things that will help you attract the other person's attention! It's also important to understand the other person's personality, characteristics, likes, and dislikes. This will help you have a targeted and in-depth exchange.

If there's a lack of mutual understanding and common topics, it can make it tough to connect with each other.

It's totally normal to feel like there's a lack of topics to chat about sometimes!

As you mentioned, there doesn't seem to be a specific topic or focus in your conversations. It can feel like time just passes by without much being discussed. It's totally normal to feel this way sometimes! If you're both interested in the same topics and can discuss them in-depth, it can really help to create a more engaging atmosphere. It might also help to focus on one or two topics that you both enjoy and can exchange ideas about. This can help to build a stronger connection and foster a deeper feeling of soulmate-like understanding.

2. Communication Methods It's so important to be able to communicate effectively with each other.

Let's talk about friendship!

It's so important to remember that the way you interact with people has little to do with gender. It's all about introductions, showing off your strengths, finding common ground, in-depth communication, and consensus.

It seems like you haven't really had a set plan for your relationship with your girlfriend. It's totally normal to be casual sometimes, but it might be making it a little tricky to move forward.

It's so important to pay attention to the little details!

When making friends, it's important to pay attention to the little things that can make a big difference. Think about how you can create and regulate the atmosphere, transform themes, use tone, voice, and intonation, and pay attention to details like interest. By paying attention to these details, you can make friends smoothly and without interruption. When you were dating your girlfriend, you focused on some details, but there were a few things you could have done differently to keep her motivated to continue dating.

It's so important to understand the other person's mentality.

I can see from your introduction that you are really good at taking care of your girlfriend's emotions and are a little afraid of awkward silences, so you use topic switches, which is great! However, if a girl who doesn't take the initiative can't keep up with your changing train of thought, or sometimes finds the topic boring, or doesn't know how to express herself, she will become silent.

3⃣️, insufficient preparation It's totally normal to feel this way! We all have to start somewhere, and you're already doing great. It's just a matter of taking the time to prepare yourself mentally.

It's so important to be mentally prepared for a relationship!

From your introduction, I get the feeling that you're still figuring out what you want from a relationship and what you want from your future partner. It's totally normal to not know exactly what you want yet!

We all have expectations. They're a kind of demand, a longing for a certain moment or thing in the future that is unknown.

Cognitive preparation is key!

It's totally normal to feel this way! The reason you might not be mentally prepared for a certain kind of relationship is because you do not know yourself well enough. In other words, you are not sure who you are, where you come from, or where you are going.

So, if you're still struggling to win over a friend, don't worry! It's totally normal.

3. What to do

1⃣️, Know yourself

It's so important to know yourself!

It's so important to know yourself! Know your own characteristics, habits, hobbies, personality, abilities, strengths, and weaknesses. Know what you can and cannot do; what you can give to others and what you cannot; what you can accept and what you cannot.

Play to your strengths, my friend!

In a relationship, it's important to show your own unique characteristics, hobbies, and strengths, as well as your personal charm. Don't be afraid to show your weaknesses, too — that's how you can win the other person's favor!

If you feel like you're lacking in some way, try to make up for it!

For your weaknesses, on the one hand, try to avoid doing things you are not good at. And on the other hand, do some training! Who knows, maybe you'll need to do things you're not good at in the future, but you won't be able to.

2⃣️, understand the way to make friends

Treat people the way you'd like to be treated!

Making friends There are so many ways to make friends! Apart from the methods of getting to know each other introduced earlier, another way is to make friends based on sincerity and trust, treating each other with honesty and not hiding anything from each other.

Mutual understanding and consideration are so important!

It's totally normal for friends to have different opinions, views, and ways of behaving. When this happens, try to find common ground while respecting each other's differences. It's all about understanding and being considerate of each other.

And remember to show each other mutual respect!

In a relationship, it's so important to respect both your own habits and those of the other person. And it's also key to cultivate the habit of good interpersonal communication with mutual respect. After all, we should treat others the way we'd like to be treated!

3⃣️, show them you care by catering to their preferences.

? Meet their needs

It's so important to understand yourself and the other person in a relationship. It's also really helpful to try to understand their expectations. Try to meet your own needs and also do your best to meet the other person's reasonable expectations.

I really hope this helps you both develop in a positive direction towards your predetermined goal!

I know you can find common ground!

When you're in a relationship, it's always a great idea to choose topics that you both like. Guide the conversation, don't rush to change the topic, and wait patiently for the other person's feedback.

It's so important to create a lovely atmosphere!

A lovely chat in a relaxed atmosphere can really help people to feel at ease and let their minds wander. You could have it in the great outdoors, or at home with some soothing, romantic music playing, or listening to some humorous laughter.

There are so many great topics to choose from! You can just let your imagination run wild and express yourself freely. At the end of the day, it's all about creating an atmosphere that appeals to the other person.

Questioner, you've done a great job! You've taken the time to understand yourself and show your interest in the other person. You've also started a heartfelt conversation by appealing to their interests. I have no doubt you'll find common ground and gradually develop a rapport.

I hope these suggestions help, Questioner!

I wish the questioner all the happiness and good fortune in the world!

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Elliott Simmons Elliott Simmons A total of 549 people have been helped

From the questioner's narrative, it seems that you are eager to quickly enter a relationship.

If I might suggest, we first need to solve two problems: one is the type of partner that suits you, and the second is how to initiate a mode of further interaction.

It would be helpful to identify the type of partner that suits you.

From what you've shared, it seems that you've had relatively few interactions with women and are uncertain about the type of partner you're seeking. As you mentioned, "I have never been in love because my family was strict."

After going to university, there were fewer girls in the same major, and I had very few opportunities to interact with the opposite sex. Recently, I have had the chance to connect with some girls through social media and have had conversations with them.

However, given my limited experience interacting with girls, particularly in a romantic context, I found it challenging to communicate effectively.

"

It is worth noting that social skills may not be the most practical on the road to love. Even if you use social skills to bring two people together, there are many factors that can contribute to discord in a relationship.

It would be beneficial to first consider the type of partner you would like to have. This decision should not be influenced by the number of women you meet, but rather by your own thoughts and preferences.

Firstly, it would be helpful to consider which type of girl might be more suitable for you. Secondly, it's important to understand what you can bring to the relationship. And last but not least, it's useful to think about what you hope to get from the other person. These seem to be three key philosophical questions on the road to love.

If you would like to find the right person for you, it might be helpful to consider these three questions.

2. How might one get to know the person they like better?

Once you have identified someone you would like to get to know better, you can start to gain their favor by making a small sacrifice, thereby creating an opportunity to interact with them further.

Many introverted guys like you often make the mistake of thinking that if they confess their love and are rejected, it will be embarrassing. This can lead to a reluctance to express their feelings directly, which in turn can result in a lack of communication.

If you wish to have the opportunity to get to know the other person better, it would be advisable to avoid the negative psychological impact of "losing face." It may be helpful to allow yourself to express your emotions openly and honestly.

It would be advisable to pay attention to the way you express yourself, and to avoid being either exaggerated or blunt.

You might consider approaching the other person as an ordinary friend and not explicitly expressing your desire to get involved with them. You could indirectly show the other person that you care about and like them.

For instance, you might consider offering to get someone a cup of hot coffee or hold something for them. This could help you gradually enter the other person's field of vision, which might lead to a positive initial impression of you.

Another option is to invite the other person to dinner as a way of expressing gratitude for their assistance with a minor issue. However, it is important to ensure that the problem is neither too complex nor too straightforward.

It would be ideal if the problem were related to the other person's studies or work, and if it were a relatively minor issue that the other person is adept at handling. This kind of problem doesn't require a significant time commitment, and the other person can readily address it.

Then you may wish to consider inviting the other person to dinner.

If I might make a suggestion, it would be to first choose the right person and then choose the right way to communicate with them. I believe that a gradual approach is the best way forward for introverts like you.

I hope you find love soon!

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Comments

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Toby Miller Growth is a process of learning to love the journey as much as the destination.

I can totally relate to feeling a bit lost when it comes to dating. It sounds like you're putting yourself out there, which is already a big step. Maybe focus on being present and genuinely curious about the person you're talking to. Listen more than you speak, and let the conversation flow naturally without forcing it.

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Noble Davis You are not a failure until you start blaming others for your mistakes.

It's great that you're taking initiative and reaching out to people. Sometimes we get too caught up in trying to be perfect or say the right thing. Just be yourself and share your thoughts and feelings honestly. Authenticity often resonates with others more than polished conversation.

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Dulcie Miller Learning is a dialogue that never ends.

You've had a unique path leading up to this point, and that's okay. Everyone has their own timeline. Instead of worrying about what you think you should be doing, try embracing who you are and what you enjoy. Your passion for life and interests can be very attractive to someone who appreciates the real you.

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Lindsey Foster Failure is a reminder that success requires effort and the willingness to learn.

Building a connection takes time and patience. It's not about having the perfect chat game but creating a space where both people feel comfortable and understood. Try to ask openended questions that encourage deeper conversations. Remember, it's okay if there's silence sometimes; it can give both of you a chance to reflect and find new topics organically.

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