I want to be a good teacher, but I'm losing confidence in myself. I want to hear the opinions of my predecessors.

As the biological mother of a three-year-old who exhibits behaviors more characteristic of a four-year-old, I am intimately acquainted with the challenges associated with raising naughty children.

I would like to express my gratitude for your commendable sense of responsibility. It is understandable that you may experience feelings of frustration when things do not turn out as you had hoped, and that you may also feel some degree of guilt and self-doubt.

I would like to extend a gesture of encouragement and reassurance, emphasizing that regardless of whether or not changes occur, your efforts are commendable. It is important to recognize that the mental development of individual children may vary significantly from their peers, with a potential difference of two or three years.

Maintaining classroom discipline is a significant challenge for teachers. It is not a task that can be accomplished by a single individual.

It is acceptable to maintain the understanding that punitive measures are a means to an end, not an end in themselves.

Parents of children with these characteristics are acutely aware of their children's circumstances and frequently experience anxiety and self-blame. They also have high expectations of the school and the teachers. Additionally, they may have demanding professional lives outside the classroom, leading them to repeatedly offer the same advice. However, their children's behaviors can vary considerably, ranging from positive to negative or even indifferent. When parents receive feedback, they often feel a profound sense of powerlessness, a feeling that is difficult to articulate and has no outlet. This can result in a sense of being like a person who has eaten bitter melon, unable to express their suffering. Even if they do speak up, their experiences may not be believed.

At times, does the nature of your communication appear to be more akin to mutual recrimination? Does it seem to evoke a sense of abdicating responsibility?

It is evident that both parties involved in the situation desire the optimal academic development of the child in question. Furthermore, they share the same initial intention and goals. It would be reasonable to assume that they should be able to connect with each other through their children. In a sense, they can be considered the children's common crutches.

As a newcomer to the educational establishment and the designated homeroom instructor, it is understandable that the situation may appear somewhat complex. It is therefore important to maintain a sense of composure and to be mindful of one's emotional state.

Hello, dear questioner!

I'm a university teacher and a class teacher. I was also a good student when I was young. After becoming a teacher, I found that I wasn't very good at getting along with students. This made me realize that I needed to work on myself, so I started studying psychology. I can relate to your question, and I'd love to give you a big hug!

All of the previous answers are really great! They teach us so much about how to think and how to do things from different points of view. But I feel like, even if I knew more reasons, even if it was just a simple thing like smiling and responding kindly when I'm teased by colleagues, I just couldn't do it myself.

It's so true that many things can be handled really well by someone else, but when it comes to ourselves, we just can't say or do anything. So, I'd love to answer this question from another perspective, hoping to inspire you!

Believe in yourself! You've got this!

You said, "The class monitor in my class said that I have a soft personality, that I'm not strict enough, and that I don't have a deterrent effect on the weaker students. I feel very frustrated." "I'm still lacking in social skills. I don't communicate well with parents, and I'm always afraid that they'll criticize me."

It's clear you're struggling with self-confidence and are overly concerned with the opinions of others, including student class officers. It's understandable you're feeling frustrated.

During our school years, we were good students, but we never paid attention to our inner selves. We never had the chance to express our inner feelings of tension, anxiety, and inferiority. And no one taught us how to adjust our perceptions and view ourselves correctly. So, even as adults, we are still afraid of being judged by others, just like children.

It's totally normal to feel this way! Regaining confidence, finding your own meaning and value, and not being easily led by the people around you is a long process. I've also given many specific methods in previous answers, so I won't repeat them here.

Lots of other counselors have shared some great tips, too! You can pick one or two that you like and start trying them out.

02 Look at others from a different perspective.

You said, "It turns out that it's so difficult to teach poor students, and I still don't have many ways to deal with them." Many counselors have also told you from various angles that you shouldn't label the children and how you should deal with problem children. In fact, to put it bluntly, it's about looking at these children from a different perspective. Why are they so naughty? Are they seeking attention? What are their family and environment like? What are their inner desires and needs? And how can these needs be met?

If it's not about "managing the class better," but about seeing into their hearts and helping them become better, is there a better management measure?

You said, "Communication with parents is not very smooth, and I always feel afraid of being criticized by other parents," and you also said that you were severely reprimanded by your parents when you were young. It is indeed not easy for teachers to communicate with parents. Many responsibilities that are clearly the responsibility of family education are habitually pushed onto schools and teachers by parents.

The quality of parents in the group is mixed, and it is normal to occasionally encounter some unreasonable people. But more importantly, most "normal" parents just want to communicate with teachers because they care about their children and want the best for them.

Once you understand this original intention and express the same starting point as a teacher, it'll be easy to find a topic that resonates with you both. If there is a conflict, just remember the first principle of "loving children," and you'll be okay!

You said, "In the office, when the teacher says who in the class isn't paying attention, I feel like a failure." It's so hard when your colleagues say things like that, isn't it? It can feel like they're just venting, and it's not really about you. But how much of what they say is true and objective, and how much is just their own venting?

It's so interesting how our self-assessments can be influenced by our inner feelings at the time. If someone says something negative about you, it could be because they're frustrated that some children in their class are disobedient, or they're trying to find a sense of superiority by putting you down, or they're just bored and like to argue with other people. If we remove these emotional expressions and see the truth behind them, perhaps we won't feel so bad.

Of course, negative comments aren't necessarily bad. If you can look at them in the right light, find the really good advice in them, and work hard to improve yourself, why wouldn't you want to?

03. Start learning and growing!

This change in awareness and behavior doesn't happen overnight, but it all starts with becoming aware of your own problems.

One thing is for sure: as you take each step forward and grow, you'll become more and more confident (without caring about other people's opinions and views), and less and less judgmental (without feeling that "poor students" are difficult to manage, that parents are difficult to communicate with, or that colleagues are "difficult").

You'll find that there's a bigger truth behind everything. There's a bigger context, more reasons, more feelings and needs, and more helplessness behind all people and things.

It doesn't matter how long it takes, we all have to embark on this path of self-growth at some point.

I'm so happy to have had this chance to chat with you about this topic. I'm really looking forward to talking more with you about it, and I wish you all the best in your work!

Hello. I am Yu Ting, a psychological counselor.

You want to become a good teacher and a confident teacher!

I understand your concerns.

As a new teacher, I can see your worries, your helplessness, your feeling that you are unable to do enough, and even some self-attack, feeling that the responsibility for any problems with the students lies with you. I know how difficult this must be for you.

You need to stop being hard on yourself.

First, embrace your vulnerable and sensitive self. It has endured significant challenges, carried immense burdens, and is now weighed down by the weight of these experiences. It's time to stop attacking yourself. If you persist in dwelling on your harsh self-criticism and stay in this emotional state, you'll lack the energy and wisdom to navigate the present moment effectively. This will only lead to further exhaustion.

As a new teacher, it is normal to be inexperienced. Every teacher goes through a process of adjusting to the job after feeling nervous and uncertain. It is not easy to manage so many children at the same time. You said that only a small number of students in the class are disobedient, and most of them are quite obedient. The situation is not as bad as you think. You can trust your abilities, and the difficulties you are facing are only temporary.

Here's the solution:

I'm sorry, but I'm not a teacher, so I can't give you targeted advice. However, I am the mother of two children, and I can share some of my experiences with you as you accompany your children growing up. I'm confident you'll find it helpful.

1. Find your own style.

You said the class monitor said you're soft-tempered, not strict enough, and have no deterrent effect on poor students, which makes you feel frustrated. Do you think you should be like the children and be a strict, deterrent teacher to be a qualified teacher?

Every teacher can have a different style because everyone has a different personality. We don't have to play the role of the "mean" teacher, who is likely to alienate people. If our personality means we can't be that strict, we can be a kind, gentle, tolerant, and accepting teacher. Gentleness doesn't mean there is no power. Being a gentle but firm teacher is also powerful and intimidating. If we are stricter and more demanding, our gentleness is more likely to win the respect of our students. We can't rely entirely on strictness to get them to listen. This will be difficult to maintain in the long term, and it will be difficult to win the recognition, affection, and respect of our students.

Love is different. Love nourishes us forever.

This approach is identical to how parents raise their children. If parents always use lecturing or scolding, their children will be very submissive. The older the child, the more difficult it is to manage; the older the child, the less afraid they are of our scolding; the older the child, the more rebellious they become.

Discipline your students by loving them, guiding them, and finding solutions together. Make them feel understood and respected. They will obey you. Teachers are second parents to their students. Treat your students the same way: be patient, guide them gently, and show them love. This will help you manage them better.

2. Getting along with parents:

You said you worry that the parents will criticize you, just as you were severely reprimanded by your parents when you were young. This is affecting you now, so you need to heal. Find a therapist or counselor to talk to so you can move on. When you communicate with the parents of your students in the future, you will be calm and composed.

You will find your way out of this difficult situation and become the good teacher you want to be and who you are satisfied with.

Hello,

You said that poor students are difficult to teach, which is understandable. You've clearly put a lot of effort into your work and want the children to study hard, gain more knowledge with the help of their teachers, and thrive.

You will soon discover the gap between ideals and reality.

Let's start with how we feel and look at the room for adjustment.

"Perfection is perfection." When I was a child, I cried the first time I didn't get a 100% on my math test. I got a 98%, and I couldn't accept myself because I felt that my carelessness had brought my parents shame.

Think back to your childhood. I'm sure there were moments when you felt tightly bound by high expectations.

If you are living in a "perfectionist" family environment, you are preventing yourself from seeing more diversity.

Children are innocent by nature. They may have heard complaints from their parents, so they actively choose to be "failed" and behave like losers. But they long to be appreciated by eyes that are willing to accept them.

This is the most essential and noble meaning of education.

The questioner should watch two Indian movies when they are under stress: "The Star on the Earth" and "Hiccup the Teacher."

The film "The Way We Were" makes it clear that even if a family is wealthy and influential, parents who are self-righteous can neglect their children to a staggering degree.

Watching "Hiccup the Professor" will show you how physics can be combined with sports to learn, and how children long for the trust of their teachers and want their teachers to be proud of them.

People who are serious and responsible choose to become teachers, and this is the happiness of the education industry.

We are grateful for children. They bring us happiness.

Children don't need to be uniform. Natural growth in vitality is what matters.

Stereotypes about children are unhelpful and only lead to resistance.

We can choose to slow down, take a deep breath, let more fresh cells rejuvenate, and find a more interesting way to communicate with our children.

I understand the hard work of your teaching career, given the professional pressure and introverted general environment.

Stay true to your original aspirations. We will accompany the children in their search for the joy of learning, and we will fill the classroom with laughter.

Welcome, new teacher! It's a big responsibility taking on the role of homeroom teacher right after graduation. You're in charge of third graders, who are starting to think for themselves and can be a handful.

You're doing a fantastic job, so let's give each other a big hug!

I'd love to share my thoughts from two different perspectives: that of a psychology learner and that of a parent. I hope you'll find them helpful!

Let's learn more about the wonderful world of children at this age!

Erikson's personality stage theory says that kids at this age are dealing with some big issues. They're trying to figure out how to be diligent and not lazy. They want to be recognized by their classmates and teachers, but they're all at different levels. Some good girls gain recognition through good study habits, consistent grades, and being class officers. Naughty boys may try to get attention by disrupting the class, even embarrassing the teacher and making their classmates laugh. This is similar to the "black red" phenomenon among Internet celebrities nowadays.

So, if you punish them, it might not be the best approach. They might not see it as punishment, or they might even feel that punishment gets them the attention of the whole class, and it's a way for them to get attention.

Have you ever thought about trying to break down this relationship and build positive reinforcement? It could be a great way to help these little boys! For example, you could find a troublemaker to be the discipline committee member, or maybe you'd like to find a leader with a particularly loud voice? Whatever you choose, it's important to show these boys that this kind of positive thing is actually a reasonable way to get attention.

You can also hold a class meeting with a theme like finding strengths. Ask everyone to help look for the strengths of the little boys and praise them in private to exert some positive influence. Every time you see something praiseworthy, praise them more in front of the whole class. You'll be amazed at the difference it makes!

"Effective communication with parents can be a big help."

As a homeroom teacher, you'll find that communicating with parents is an important part of your job. After all, a child's education is a joint effort between home and school. When you communicate effectively with parents, it helps them understand what's going on at school and how their child is doing. It also allows parents to pay attention to and guide family education, which makes the combined efforts of home and school more effective.

You said, "I always feel scared of the parents criticizing me, like when I was a child and my parents scolded me severely." But you really don't have to worry. In fact, for most parents, although the relationship between teachers and parents is equal, most parents still care very much about their children's evaluation in the eyes of the teacher. It's totally normal to feel a bit intimidated by the teacher's phone call!

It's only natural for new teachers to be compared by parents with previous teachers. The good news is that as long as you're sincere and let parents feel your sincerity, for example, by eliminating some information asymmetry, parents will give you time to grow.

My eldest child is in the second grade. When he first started school the year before, the math teacher had just graduated and was also the assistant homeroom teacher. I remember that on parent open house day, a bunch of parents sat in the back of the classroom listening to the teacher.

The math teacher put a lot of love and effort into creating some really fun and engaging PowerPoint slides, but when they were shown, there were a few hiccups in the continuity and a couple of mistakes were made. In the following days, parents chatted about the situation and felt that the math teacher could have done better. Some even wanted to organize a group to go to the school to request a change of teacher.

Later on, some parents told us that the new teacher is really hard-working. They said that the eldest child's teacher also started as a new teacher and stayed until the sixth grade, and that things gradually got better. The parent committee sent someone to chat with the teacher and tell her what we'd like to see from her. Now she's settled in and things are going well in the class.

I'm using this example to tell you the following:

1. We all know that conflicts are bound to happen from time to time. The good news is that communication is the best way to solve them!

2. Parent communication is so important! We're all here to help and work together to find solutions, not to make things more difficult for anyone.

3. Don't worry! New teachers will have an adjustment period, and you're not the only one who will encounter this problem.

"Take a deep breath and try to be a little more easy on yourself."

You said, "In the office, when the teacher says who in the class is not paying attention, I feel like a failure. I can't get anything right, I have so many problems, and I can't deal with them all every day."

I can tell you're feeling a bit down because of the classroom discipline problems you mentioned earlier. It's totally understandable to feel like a bit of a mess.

If I take a step back and look at it from a different angle, I might think:

The office teacher said that someone wasn't paying attention in class. I think it's a great idea to use this as a chance to remind everyone to pay attention in class! It might also be a good idea to check in with the parents. You could just say, "Back in my class, who...?" It's always a good idea to discuss with the teacher whether the student is distracted in individual classes or just in certain classes.

I truly believe that being a teacher or a doctor requires a lot of goodwill, and that's why I chose these professions.

You've overcome so many obstacles to get into this school, and you should be really proud of yourself!

But teachers are only human, just like you and me! They have their own emotions and feelings, and they need someone to talk to to relieve their emotions, or someone with experience to learn from. This is perfectly normal, and there's no need to be too hard on yourself.

Take it easy and don't be too hard on yourself!

When you were a student, it was usually just a matter of yourself, and you just had to take care of yourself. But that's not the case after you start working! You need to cooperate with other people, and there's just so much coordination.

It's so important to remember that whether something is done well or not is no longer a unilateral decision. It depends on the degree of cooperation between the two parties. So don't take on more than you can handle! You need to know that your very existence is valuable.

Hey there! I know life can get tough sometimes, but I'm here to tell you to let go of your worries and clear your mind.

We all hope that our lives will be smooth sailing, but life is always full of storms. It's bound to happen that you'll get wet in the rain, or even become a drowned rat. But if you take a shower, dry off, and look up to find a beautiful rainbow, your mood will probably improve.

I really hope you can soon get out of that gloom and feel confident again!

Teach students in a way that suits their abilities.

No student wants to be seen as a bad student, and no student wants to be the target of criticism from teachers and parents. When we look at an issue, we can't just focus on the surface of the problem. If we only solve the problem based on the surface, it will only make the problem worse.

When students are noisy in class, they just want to feel like they matter, whether they want attention, show off their skills, or confront the teacher and parents. If we don't even know what they want, how can we help them solve their problems?

A teacher teaches and guides students, and also helps them with any questions they have.

No matter who he is, he's still a student, and that's the first thing we need to understand. So when we're gathering info about students, we shouldn't just judge them based on what other students say and how they do in class. That's pretty unfair to them.

Punishment is just a tool to achieve a goal—it's not the goal itself. If you rely on harsh methods and authority to educate students, you'll only stifle their thinking and imagination in the end.

As long as we can solve their problems effectively, we can still gain their respect.

Many underachievers choose to rebel because they get more of the wrong kind of attention in school. So, when we deal with these students, if we still treat them the same way, it won't help them grow.

A lesson is not just about sharing knowledge. There are so many possibilities in 45 minutes. If we just want to get through every lesson perfectly, we won't be able to give each lesson its own meaning. Sometimes, something we say can have a big impact on a child's life. So when we're working with these children, we need to respect them and get to know them really well so we can solve problems and earn their respect.

Every child has their own strengths and weaknesses. Our teaching is based on the theory of psychosocial development by Erik Erikson. According to Erikson, self-awareness develops throughout life. He divided the process into eight stages, which are determined by genetics but depend on the environment for success. This is why it's called the "psychosocial" stage theory. Each stage is important.

The theory of lifelong personality development provides the foundation for education at different ages. Any mistakes in education at any age can hinder a person's lifelong development. It also explains why you are the way you are, which of your psychological qualities are positive and which are negative, and at which age they were formed, giving you a basis for reflection.

To some extent, it's indiscriminate. When we interact with these different children, we need to learn how to make use of their strengths, discover their talents, and let them achieve self-fulfillment.

Erikson's stages of development say that kids aged 7 to 12 are in the conflict stage of diligence versus inferiority. This is when they should be getting an education at school.

School is where kids learn to fit in and get the skills they need to live on their own. If they do well, they'll gain a sense of responsibility, which gives them confidence in their future lives and work.

On the other hand, it can lead to low self-esteem. What's more, if a child develops an attitude of overvaluing their work and being indifferent to other aspects, it will have a negative impact on their life.

Erikson said, "If he thinks work is his only task and that what he does is the only thing that matters, he might become a very passive and unthinking servant of his work skills and bosses."

If kids have a strong sense of diligence and not so much of inferiority, they'll develop the quality of "ability." As Erikson put it, "Ability isn't undermined by kids feeling inferior. What they need to get things done is the know-how and smarts to do it on their own."

So, we can't just brush off these naughty students as "poor students." Calling a kid "poor" is basically a definition of failure. If we label a kid based on their learning ability and don't deal with it when it comes up, it'll only make things worse.

We're always learning and growing, and there's always something new to learn at every stage of life. Criticism from parents isn't always a bad thing.

It can be tough to spot issues in our own work, and feedback from parents can help us adjust our mindset.

Teachers have a hard time accepting criticism, so you can imagine how it feels for children who are constantly being criticized. Education is a lifelong learning profession, and it's not just about learning professional skills. It's also about learning from peers and children.

We can discuss with them how poor students deal with criticism and how they can live happily every day despite criticism. In your teaching process, good students laugh at you, and poor students obey your punishment measures despite causing trouble. This is also an interesting thing.

Our teaching is both a teaching and a self-learning process. We need to make sure that the children we educate not only learn to excel, but also strengthen their character training and help them establish correct values.

You haven't been a bad student, so you don't know how to help them. Now, though, you've become a bad student yourself, which gives you a chance to experience what they're going through and understand their problems better. In this process of communication, you can help both of you grow.

Hello, question asker. After reading your statement, I see a young person who is positive and serious about everything. I give you a big thumbs up!

But you're feeling frustrated and stressed at work, and you're struggling to find your confidence. I'm here for you.

It can be tough to become a class teacher right away. It's normal to feel a bit nervous when you first start a new job. Then, you have to take on the task of being a class teacher and also teach third graders. They're old enough to understand things but still like to act up, just like first graders who don't understand anything. Parents are also more anxious these days, so communicating with them can be challenging.

Kids can be tough to manage, and those who misbehave will always present challenges. Parents have different expectations and attitudes, which can leave you feeling drained and overwhelmed. It's understandable to feel frustrated in this situation. Take a moment to give yourself a pat on the back.

You say you're a perfectionist who wants to run a smooth class, with the naughty kids or "underachievers" as you call them, staying out of trouble. You also hope parents will be polite when communicating with you and that you'll get praise and recognition from your peers.

But you feel frustrated. Why? Is it because you haven't done your best?

Or is there something else going on? Clearly not. So, is it your ability that's the issue?

You might have some doubts about your abilities or competence right now, but I don't think that's the case.

You've just started working and are now in charge of a third-grade homeroom class. You can make sure that all the kids are safe and want to come to school, lead them in doing the school's assigned work, and keep parents informed about their kids' school lives and learning status. Wouldn't that be great? If you can do all that, you're already a qualified homeroom teacher!

So, questioner, is it possible that you feel frustrated because you set your goals too high?

Could you set your goals a little more realistically? Kids can be naughty in class and cause trouble, but you kept your class under control with all your different methods.

You've said yourself that you're a perfectionist who demands the absolute best from yourself. Unconsciously, you tend to set your life goals and work objectives too high, which can lead to feelings of frustration and low self-confidence. I don't know if you agree with what I've said.

Just so you know.

There's a lot to say about the psychological mechanisms of perfection. I suggest that the questioner find the time to read books on psychology, as this will be helpful for your future work.

I have a different take on what it means to be a "good" or "poor" student. This is partly because of our country's current education evaluation system. We can talk more about this later, but I don't want to go into too much detail here. I hope my answer today is helpful!

Good day, question asker.

As a new teacher who is dedicated to teaching, you are an excellent example of a good teacher, and I want to commend you for your efforts.

It is understood that there is an adjustment period for any new role. From the time you graduate to the time you become a teacher, there must be a period of adjustment. Therefore, it is assumed that the situation you are currently experiencing is a process that every teacher must go through when they first start teaching.

You identify as a perfectionist, which is not necessarily a negative trait. However, I hope that as we enter the workforce, we will recognize that perfection is unattainable and that a degree of regret is a valuable emotion. There is a Chinese proverb that captures this idea: "The flower is not in full bloom, the moon is not full. That is the most beautiful state."

I believe that modifying your perfectionist attitude could be beneficial. If you are able to do so, you may find that you are more tolerant of students engaging in playful activities or displaying the behaviors of more active children in class. By tolerating these behaviors, you may experience a reduction in your current level of distress.

As we gain more teaching experience, we will also be able to interact with the children in the classroom in a more targeted way. This will allow us to communicate with students in a more targeted manner, which will result in more active students being more obedient. For example, if you can tell stories well, you can tell a story to attract the attention of more active students in the classroom. This will help them learn a moral from the story, and in the future, they will behave as you want them to in class.

Another point to consider is that communication between teachers in the office often revolves around students not listening. This is a common phenomenon in every class. It is important to recognize that this is something that can be controlled and that it is not a reason for others to laugh at you. In fact, students may perceive you as having a good personality and being approachable. They should feel a close connection with you. It is essential to understand that children are not looking for trouble.

Children are to be encouraged to develop their full potential. The new curriculum reform places an emphasis on educating people. Classroom management has also improved, and students are no longer expected to behave as they did in the past, listening obediently all the time. In the future, students will be allowed to develop independently, think independently, and dare to question. In other words, if the classroom is as smooth and dull as it used to be, it is not in line with the new curriculum reform.

In this era of change, it is evident that the new curriculum has been released three months ago, with the new textbooks scheduled for implementation in 2024. In the context of expansion and reform, core literacy is the primary focus, extending beyond mere knowledge acquisition. Consequently, classroom dynamics are evolving. This presents an opportunity to embrace a new approach in the classroom.

It is essential to study the new curriculum standards, assess the current situation, and then master some teaching methods. By enhancing your abilities, you will undoubtedly discover a broader path in classroom teaching.

I wish you success in your future teaching career. The world and I wish you well!

Hello!

First, allow students who don't pay attention in class. When you encounter such a child, give a reminder. If it doesn't affect other children's learning, ignore it. It is impossible for a class to be full of well-behaved children. Moreover, unruly children are not bad. They are not attracted to the class, have a bad mood, or have not been paid attention to.

It's the result of bad behavior and can't be fixed quickly.

If someone is playing with something and it is affecting other people, temporarily taking the object away may stop the disruption. After the class, you can talk to the parents about how playing with toys affects their child's concentration. You can also suggest that they don't bring toys to school. If the toys are learning aids, you can suggest that they prepare ordinary learning aids to reduce the attraction.

For school supplies that cannot be taken, make a record in advance and return them when needed. Break the problem down into steps and solve it step by step.

If you have problems, ask an experienced teacher for advice. You can also ask your child which class is better and how the teacher deals with similar problems. Punitive homework will not help.

You don't need to worry about how students or teachers are evaluated. It's hard to get unanimous praise.

So, take criticism as a way to improve, not as a criticism. Teachers say reading books on child psychology helps you educate them well. I hope this helps!

Hello! I'm one of the parents of the "bear children" you mentioned. I'm Little Anemone Floater. My child is also in the second year of junior high school, and his grades could be better. But there are so many factors that influence grades! I'm a psychological counselor intern, and I'm really hoping you won't reject my answer!

— The lovely new homeroom teacher

—It's so lovely to see how kind most of the students are, and there are a few who are still learning!

—I have a child who tells on others, and I'm really struggling to know what to do about it.

— I've tried so many different methods, but sadly, none of them have worked.

It's totally normal to feel a bit anxious when you're new to the job and don't have any teaching experience. You've always been in a great learning environment, so you're used to learning and doing things. It's totally normal to feel a bit uncomfortable when you're affected by naughty classmates in class. Don't worry about it too much, just let yourself slowly adapt.

It seems like most kids can pay attention in class, and there are a few who just need a little more time and patience to learn. When a child is naughty, they're also listening to what you're saying. This is after you've added a fun classroom question to remind the child to pay attention. I've found that this can make the naughty child quiet for a few minutes, so that he knows the teacher is paying attention to his every move. (My child just feels that he is not getting enough attention from the teacher in class, so he misbehaves. The child is a bit lacking in fatherly love.)

?‍♂️Some children are snitches, and there are many problems that I don't know how to deal with. In fact, it is normal for children to snitch. They want to be favored by the teacher right away, and who can blame them? Children in the second or third grade are still very self-centered and have a strong sense of boundaries. They don't want to drink anything that others share and consider theirs, and that's okay! There are a lot of minor frictions, and if they can't solve it themselves, they will report it to the teacher. If they think the impact is not great, they will just ignore it. If the problem is serious, and one of the children has already cried and screamed, then it needs to be solved. Or if some children damage public facilities, they need to be corrected and taught to sort things out themselves. Just pick the important ones and deal with them.

?‍♂️I know it can be tough, but trying many punishments doesn't work. It's okay to feel powerless sometimes, especially nowadays. You punish by making them copy, and they may go home and let their grandparents do it, or you punish by making them stand, but that's too cliché, and kids start doing it automatically when they're three. So, it's better to think of other ways. I don't have any good suggestions either, but I'm here to listen if you ever want to chat.

— The class leaders in the class feel that you could be a little stricter, and that the teacher needs to have more authority.

— Perfectionist, always striving to make every class go as smoothly as possible.

I have a bit of trouble communicating with parents and I'm a little afraid of being criticized by them.

—It's totally understandable to feel worried about other teachers discussing your students. It can be a lot to handle, especially when you're trying to teach students who may need a little more support.

?‍♂️The class leader makes a great point! Being strict isn't enough. You need to have an authoritative aura. I can't quite put it into words, but when you get serious, it's like a cold wind blowing through the air, and the kids can sense that you're not happy. I know I have this aura, but I can't control it. (I can't guide you in this aura, so you have to try to feel and connect with it yourself.)

?‍♂️You are a perfectionist in class, which is great! But when you encounter an unexpected event, no matter how small, you feel a little overwhelmed and think it isn't perfect. This is just your perception, and it's totally normal! Behind every child there is a family, and every family is different in terms of quality, upbringing, character, and approach to things. Not all children are willing to sit quietly and listen to the teacher, and that's okay! This is the reality of the classroom, and it's not as perfect as you imagine. You don't have to try to make it perfect, but you can accept the reality of children's uneven performance and deal with the so-called unexpected situations in the classroom.

?‍♂️If you're afraid of communicating with parents or afraid of being criticized by parents, it's time to embrace your new role as a teacher. Most parents respect teachers, and you're no exception! However, during your growth process, parents may have provided constructive feedback on your education methods. This is perfectly normal, and it's an opportunity to learn and grow. When you get home, find your mother and let her shower you with praise and affirmation. This will help you feel supported and boost your confidence. ?‍♂️If you're afraid of being criticized by the child's parents, remember that most parents will choose to give in and not conflict with the teacher. This is a great sign that you're on the right track!

It's totally normal for other teachers to talk about classroom discipline in their classes. It's a way of showing that they're doing their best, even if they feel they're not teaching poorly. It's also a way of showing that they're open to learning and growing together. When you hear other teachers talking about classroom discipline in your class, it's important to remember that they're generally just trying to get your respect as the class teacher. It's okay! Just respond normally, find out which children are naughty, empathize with the teachers who complained, tell them that there are also people in your class who don't pay attention in class, and ask for advice on how to manage. This way, the other teachers will feel respected, and they'll see that you're doing your best as the new class teacher. It's natural to feel a little uncomfortable at first, especially since you're the new class teacher. But remember, you're not alone! You can get to know the poor students, be friends with them, and even if you can't change them for the better, they'll still improve. Having poor students in the class is an inevitable phenomenon. Kids come from different backgrounds, have vague perceptions, and don't really understand the meaning of learning. It's okay! They don't care, can't concentrate, and don't put all the blame on themselves. Don't let yourself get overwhelmed. You've got this!

Hello, question asker. I'm happy to answer your question. From reading your description, it seems you are facing some challenges. As a new teacher, you have also taken on the role of class teacher, which can be quite demanding with a lot of tasks to juggle each day, including filling in forms, writing materials, preparing lessons and correcting homework, and communicating with students who may not always listen. I can understand how you're feeling.

I believe the questioner is a responsible teacher who wants to manage the class well, but may not yet have found the right method. This suggests that methods are very important.

1. "I am a new teacher who has recently taken on the role of homeroom teacher for a third-grade class. I am grateful to have students who are generally well-behaved and engaged in class.

Unfortunately, there are still a few students who enjoy playing during class, which can sometimes disrupt the learning environment for others and result in occasional reports. I have also encouraged them to help with tasks like copying the text, sweeping, and mopping after school, but this has not had the desired effect. They still occasionally cause trouble in class.

"I must admit that I'm still learning the ropes when it comes to education. I've been advised to encourage students to visit the office after class, but I'm not sure if that's the best approach. Some of the class leaders have suggested that I could be more assertive and that I don't have the same deterrent effect on students who are struggling. I'm trying to find the right balance, but I do feel a bit frustrated."

(1) It seems that the majority of students in the class are able to listen carefully. This leads me to believe that the students are not only obedient and attentive, but also that the teacher, the questioner, has prepared thoroughly for every class. As the saying goes, ten years of hard work behind the scenes for one minute on stage.

(2) From the perspective of children's psychological development, third-grade elementary school students are lively and active. This raises the question of how the questioner can best educate these students, who often prefer to play during class. It's also worth considering how this might affect other students' listening.

I believe that the methods currently in place, such as making students sweep the floor, mop the floor, and copy text, as well as instructing them to stand in the office, may not be the most effective. It seems that these methods are not yielding the desired results. Perhaps we could consider exploring new approaches. Furthermore, the document clearly states that teachers are prohibited from inflicting corporal punishment in disguised forms. I am unsure of the frequency with which the questioner punishes students for copying. My intention is to avoid punishing students for copying as much as possible, which is also to avoid making mistakes myself.

The questioner's approach to these students who like to cause trouble is "negative reinforcement." And when you repeatedly ask students to come to the office to stand, this behavior of the students is also reinforced. When students come to the office to stand, they may feel disrespected, so they may not be convinced. I believe that the questioner has studied teaching psychology and classroom management, and we can use some theoretical knowledge to guide practice. For example, if a student speaks, the questioner can ask the student who is speaking some basic questions to answer. If he cannot answer, he can be made to stand and listen for a while (one of the provisions in the document is that for students who disrupt class, they can be punished by standing for one class period, and the questioner can decide according to the situation. The purpose of asking questions is to make him pay attention). Then continue the lecture, tell the students that you will ask questions in a while, and I believe that other students who cause trouble will listen carefully.

It may be helpful to consider that third-grade elementary school students still appreciate praise from their teachers. One way to provide positive reinforcement is to acknowledge a student's good behavior. This can encourage other students to emulate that behavior. This process of learning from one another is known as "substitution learning." It's possible that students may become more engaged in class as a result. Additionally, if the teacher notices disruptive students in class, maintaining eye contact with them can convey that the teacher is aware of their presence. This can help reassure them that they are being noticed and valued. After class, the teacher might consider speaking with these students individually. This can be an opportunity to demonstrate care and respect for them. Over time, these interactions can foster mutual respect. It's worth exploring this approach.

(3) Teachers have different styles of classroom management, including authoritative, indulgent, and democratic. It may be beneficial to adopt a democratic style as much as possible, while still maintaining a firm and fair approach when necessary.

2. "I strive to maintain a smooth-running class, but I recognise that I could improve my social skills. I feel I could communicate more effectively with parents, and I am aware that I may be overly sensitive to criticism. I am also aware that I have a tendency to overthink situations. When a teacher in the office mentions that someone in my class is not paying attention, I feel a sense of inadequacy. I am aware that I have a lot on my plate and that I cannot do everything right all of the time.

"I was a good student since I was young, but only after becoming a teacher did I realize how challenging it can be to teach students who are struggling. I'm concerned that if things continue as they are, the students in my class may not respond well to my teaching approach, which is making me less confident in my abilities."

(1) Could you please share your thoughts on how to communicate with parents? I'm curious to know your approach to communicating with parents as ordinary people or as colleagues.

How might we encourage them to listen? Additionally, what types of matters should be conveyed to parents, and what types of matters might the teacher address directly?

It would be helpful to know whether there will still be that much pressure. For example, if Xiao Ming hits Xiao Wang at school, it would be good to communicate with the parents in a timely manner.

Every student has their own strengths and areas for growth. It's important to recognize that not all students who may face academic challenges are without potential. Many students are kind and helpful, and when communicating with parents, it's valuable to highlight these positive attributes and discuss ways to support their continued development. Parents often appreciate these conversations and are open to discussing their child's strengths and areas for growth.

(2) My colleague mentioned that the students may not always be fully engaged in class and may be distracted by their phones. It's important to recognize that the teacher in charge has a significant role in managing the classroom environment and ensuring the smooth functioning of the class. While the homeroom teacher plays an essential part in this, it's also vital to consider the long-term management strategies employed by the subject teacher.

If the subject teacher is unable to control these students, it could be perceived as a dereliction of duty. It's understandable if the question owner feels some pressure in this situation.

(3) It would be beneficial for the questioner to consider adjusting their emotions so that they don't bring them to the classroom. For instance, while the questioner's pursuit of perfection is commendable, it might be helpful to ensure that it doesn't affect their mood or their high expectations of their classmates, who might feel a lot of pressure. It might be helpful to relax a bit, as would their classmates. This could potentially enhance the learning effect.

When the questioner chats with colleagues, they might consider asking experienced teachers for advice on how to manage the class, or they could observe how excellent class teachers manage the class. It might be helpful to ask your peers for advice.

I hope my answer is helpful to you. I wish you all the best!

Hello, question asker!

I'd love to help you figure out the best way to handle those challenging students. Let's work together to find solutions that will boost your confidence!

When I first became a homeroom teacher, I had the chance to work with several students who were eager to play during class. While their enthusiasm was contagious, it did occasionally affect the other students, leading to a steady stream of reports about them. I also tried to engage them in some light cleaning tasks after school, but they were always up for more fun than work!

"I don't have much experience and don't know how to educate them, so I can only call them to the office to stand after class." This method of punishment did not work, so it was time to try something new!

"A Sense of Purpose" by William Damon talks about the incredible need for teachers to set positive examples in school. This means that we have the amazing opportunity to educate students in a positive way!

For poor students, it means discovering their "bright" spots and encouraging them to overcome their weaknesses. You can ask your child which class he is more attentive in and does not affect other students. You can also discover the relationship between your child and different teachers, and treat these children differently because they are different from other students. This is a great way to help your children improve!

This is where it gets really exciting! You get to communicate with your children and discover their bright spots. Then, you can provide guidance to help them reach their full potential.

Punishment is a surefire way to make children feel more inferior. They'll start to believe that they're the ones not liked by teachers and classmates, which will affect their mental health and self-confidence.

And there's more! Positive reinforcement is another great way to encourage good behavior. When kids behave well, let them know!

For example, if a child behaves well in class more often this week than last week, and has a lesser impact on other students than last week, then praise him in class!

If a child behaves badly in class but goes to school on time and is never late, the teacher can also praise him! There are so many other things to praise too, like neat handwriting, hard work, good sports results, etc.

When children realize that their teachers don't dislike them because they have weaknesses, they will be inspired to change for the better!

Psychologist Rogers said something really inspiring: "Each of us is good and upward, and we all have the ability to improve ourselves." It's so true! As long as the teacher treats the students sincerely, enthusiastically, kindly, and patiently, every student will be a "good student."

It's great to aim for perfection in teaching, but it's also important to embrace imperfection. When we accept that we're not perfect, we can listen to the opinions and suggestions of others when communicating with parents, rather than taking them as criticism.

This is the only way you can reflect on yourself, have the courage to face problems, and find solutions to them!

When communicating with parents, start off by sharing the great things your child is doing at school. Don't forget to give credit where it's due by thanking the parents for their support! Then, it's time to talk about your own feelings. Finally, make a request of the parents. When your child makes progress, be sure to thank the parents for their cooperation.

I really hope it helps!

Wishing you the best!