I want to live outside to prepare for the postgraduate entrance exam, but I'm worried about my parents not agreeing. What should I do?

I get the sense that your parents are what you might call "dependent parents." It seems like they're reluctant to let you go and are worried that once you're "independent," you'll no longer need them.

The real issue here isn't the cost of the study room you want to use for the exam. It's that your parents are afraid of you leaving.

I get the sense that you're not only looking to improve yourself by taking the postgraduate entrance exam, but also to leave home by doing so and go to a school that's further away. If that's the case, "taking the postgraduate entrance exam" has become a good reason to leave them.

As a general rule, when a family knows their child is going to take the postgraduate entrance exam, they'll try to create a study-friendly environment. This could mean limiting distractions like TV, encouraging quiet conversation, and avoiding asking the child to do chores. However, from your description, it seems like family members have been interfering with your studies.

I think the real issue here is not whether you should leave home to study, but the lack of consensus between you and your parents, and the fact that they don't really approve of you taking the exam (even if they say they support you).

I think the crux of the matter is a lack of communication and the fact that you haven't handled your relationship with your family properly. Taking the postgraduate entrance exam is just a symptom of the problem, not the root of it.

Ultimately, the solution depends on your relationship with your parents. If we focus on the exam, I suggest getting up early and using the morning to study so you can avoid being disturbed by them.

Hello, I'm Zeyu.

"I want to move out to study for the exam, but I'm worried that my parents won't agree. What should I do?" Let's assume the worst.

If our parents disagree, what can we do?

We want to take the postgraduate entrance exam, but our family members keep interrupting our studies. We choose to study in a self-study room, but our family members are opposed to this. We need to consider how to choose between our own needs and the needs of our family members. Wasting money is how the family views the self-study room, but it is not our view. The other person wants to change our needs to meet their own demands, which is a transgression.

We can clarify our needs and see what's important to us. We can explain the situation to our parents. We can listen to their views and attitudes towards the postgraduate entrance examination. Listen to what the other person is thinking. "A waste of money" may not be their true attitude.

When we understand our family members' attitudes toward postgraduate entrance exams, we can find ways to solve the problem. The key is to focus on their attitudes and try to make them see the bright future prospects.

We can make a big pie to get our family to work with us. This will also help us solve the study room problem.

Hello. I'm listening.

You feel restricted and supervised at home. You feel uncomfortable and like you're not yourself. You're angry and irritated that you can't make your own decisions.

It's not your mind. Hug you.

? Communicate by letter.

If you speak to them and get emotional, we will write a letter instead. Written communication blocks emotions. This is an advantage, but it can also be a disadvantage.

Understand your parents.

Everyone has different habits and ideas. We need to respect and understand each other. Parents were not treated well, so they will not treat you well.

You can find out about their past and whether they were treated this way. Stay calm and avoid arguments over small things.

Be financially independent.

You saved money for the study room from your salary. You could save more for your own study and living expenses.

You have more autonomy when making decisions.

Find common ground while keeping differences.

Great men seek common ground while reserving differences. You can learn from this. You can work together to come up with a business deal that is acceptable to you and him, and that leaves out what is unacceptable to them and you. There is something that can be negotiated in these four areas.

Dear friend,

Your family has two views on education: studying at home or away.

You think home is distracting, while your parents think it's a waste of money.

Who is responsible for the entrance exam?

It's meaningless to you.

You are responsible, so you have rights and obligations.

Rights and responsibilities should be equal.

You can choose where to study and must work hard to enter college.

Your parents are telling you to study at home. If you fail the exam, you will have to admit it.

To convince your parents, explain the pros and cons.

What are the disadvantages of studying at home?

If you study out, you use your own money. You can also talk about classmates who did well on the postgraduate entrance exam. This will help you feel more confident.

The higher your score, the more likely you are to get a scholarship.

Are they worried about anything other than money? Talk about it.

You can also go to the library.

Share your goals.

You both want to do well on the exam.

It's not about saving money, right?

Once you know what you want, you can choose the best way to get there.

Talk to your parents. They'll understand.

Come on!

Dear Questioner, I am honored to have the opportunity to respond to your inquiry.

You are preparing for the postgraduate entrance examination, yet your parents are imposing undue restrictions at home, which is affecting your ability to study. They also have various reasons for preventing you from renting a place, which is causing you fatigue and confusion regarding how to communicate with your parents. You hope to maintain a positive relationship with your parents while also having the necessary peace and quiet to study.

It is important to understand your parents' intentions. They are typically thrifty and it is uncommon for them to remain awake at night in order to persuade you to return to your study room. They may be more inclined to view situations from their own perspective. During your preparation for the postgraduate entrance exam, they may express frustration at your lack of company and request your assistance with various tasks. This behavior may be interpreted as a manifestation of their concern that you are studying excessively and are seeking to alleviate the pressure by engaging in conversation or performing household tasks.

It is important to set boundaries and communicate clearly with parents about reasonable expectations. While it is not necessary to be overly critical of parents' intentions, it is essential to establish limits. Parents should not be expected to agree to every request, and it is reasonable to express needs and expectations in a polite and respectful manner. For instance, a child may say, "Mom, I need to finish my learning tasks this morning, and I would appreciate it if you did not come and disturb me." With time and practice, parents will likely become more understanding of their child's needs and preferences.

It is important to allow your parents to observe your independence and thereby alleviate their concerns. The primary reason for a parent's tendency towards overprotection is often a sense of worry.

It is advisable to provide your parents with comprehensive information regarding your independent living arrangements, academic pursuits, personal safety, and financial resources. This will assist them in perceiving your autonomy and instill a sense of reassurance.

Good communication is essential. Initially, one should attempt to communicate with one's parents directly, articulating one's reasons in full and seeking to gain their understanding.

Should these measures prove ineffective, it may be advisable to seek the assistance of a family member who is more closely aligned with the parents in question. It is crucial to convey a genuine sense of understanding and respect for the parents' perspective, rather than appearing confrontational or dismissive. This approach may facilitate a more constructive dialogue and potentially gain the parents' understanding.

The aforementioned represents my understanding of the matter, and it is my hope that it will prove useful to the individual who posed the question.

Hello. I'm going to give you a 360-degree hug.

From your question, I don't know if you've already started studying, and I don't know how it's going. You still have plenty of time to start preparing for the postgraduate entrance exam, given that the results are still coming out.

You want to find a quiet place to study, but at home, your parents will disturb you. They think an outside study room is too far away or too expensive. Even if you spend your own money, they still think you're wasting money.

You want to talk to your parents, but you're afraid of causing an unpleasant situation. You don't know how to put it tactfully.

Let's be frank. They're already unhappy, feeling you're inconsiderate and disobedient. They haven't given any substantial advice or acted in a way that shows what they want you to do, but they seem torn. We need to look at the reasons behind the seemingly contradictory behavior of your parents.

You didn't provide specific details about your family situation. From what you've shared, it seems you've already graduated and started working. I'm unclear if you've quit your job to study for the exam or if you're studying for the exam while working.

Tell me, what is your parents' attitude towards your postgraduate entrance exam? Do they support you or oppose you? And is the school you want to attend far away, in the same city, or relatively far away?

I'd like to know your age and what your parents think about your marriage prospects.

Your parents don't agree with your decision to take the exam. They don't want you to stay away from them. They can't ask you directly to give up the exam, so they're doing a lot of things to stop you from studying well. This adds to the resistance. This is just my guess. You can think about it from another perspective. If you succeed in the exam, what will happen in your family?

Tell me what your parents are worried about. If you pass the exam, what will you do and what will your life be like in the next few years?

From these assumptions, you can see where your parents' concerns really lie and why they're acting the way they are. You can also think about what would happen if you failed the entrance exam.

What will happen to your parents and what will happen to your life?

These are explorations of parental behavior. Regardless of what your parents think, they do what they do. Your goal is to study for the exam. In the face of your parents' behavior, you can and should take action to achieve your goals.

Your parents' behavior is just that—their behavior. You have two options: respond or ignore it. Either way, you need to focus on studying well. You don't have to let your relationship with your parents suffer.

You need to find a quiet place to study at home. If there is a university nearby, you can go to the university library, classrooms, study rooms, etc. This is easy.

A public library is another option. You won't be wasting money.

You may need a card or something, but it's cheaper than a study room. You have to make sacrifices regarding distance.

You must ignore your parents' words and use actions to show them that you have made compromises, but you cannot do everything they say.

They won't be happy with anything you do. If you want their approval on everything, you'll never get it. You have to act firmly.

They need to deal with their own dissatisfaction, and it has nothing to do with you.

You must take responsibility for your own problems, your own independence and autonomy, and the things you want. You can only strive for them yourself. First, make yourself stronger and better. Taking the postgraduate entrance exam is a way for you to become stronger and better, and you will probably only have more confidence to say no to your parents.

They will also be more at ease with you.

You should talk to a counselor if you can. This is about more than just the conflict with your parents over the postgraduate entrance exam.

This incident is troubling you.

I am a counselor who is often Buddhist and sometimes pessimistic, occasionally positive, and motivated. The world and I love you.

Dear question asker,

It would be beneficial to share a warm embrace.

Your confusion: "I aspire to pursue graduate studies, and thus I intend to pursue my studies at home. This will result in cost savings, but my parents persistently urge me to engage in various activities and express frustration that I do not spend more time with them and that I do not prioritize my studies. However, when I suggest utilizing a study room in a distant location, they object, citing the distance as a hindrance. I propose more proximate options, but they assert that they will bear the additional expense.

I will identify a more proximate location, but the decision was reversed once more, with the rationale provided being that the expenditure was an inefficient use of resources. My mother was unable to obtain sufficient rest at 2:30 a.m. due to this matter, and thus initiated a discussion in my room. She compelled me to cancel the study room reservation before she could resume her rest.

Subsequently, I continued to perceive deficiencies in the efficacy of my home-based studies. Consequently, I discreetly enrolled in another program, though I was uncertain of the optimal means of conveying this information to my parents. Notably, I had personally accumulated the funds necessary to cover the costs associated with the study room.

My mother asserts that I am squandering financial resources and that I am unaware of the challenges associated with income generation. I am of the opinion that she is incorrect in her assessment. I have contemplated disclosing my perspective to my parents, but I am concerned that doing so might result in a deterioration of our relationship and the emergence of an unfavorable situation.

If I were to phrase it in a more diplomatic manner, I am unsure how to proceed. Therefore, I would be grateful for any suggestions.

"

Indeed, I also perceive that it is challenging to engage in effective study at home. My parents frequently engage in activities that may distract from academic pursuits, such as selecting vegetables and cleaning the house. From their perspective, there is a lack of leisure time. Additionally, they tend to monitor my activities, which can impede my ability to focus. Consequently, I believe that studying in a dedicated space is a more optimal choice.

However, my mother does not concur. What is the optimal course of action?

I postulate that this is a matter of differing cultural norms. When my mother was a child, she was compelled to save money, and thus developed a commendable proclivity for frugality.

Furthermore, the current financial situation allows for the selection of an optimal study environment and the pursuit of a more fulfilling lifestyle.

This is the point at which effective communication with one's mother becomes crucial, as it is vital to establish a clear understanding that the need for a translator is paramount. From his perspective, the capacity to study is limitless, and the optimal financial strategy is to save as much as possible.

However, from your perspective, you recognize that if I pursue academic excellence, I will gain admission to a more advanced educational institution, which will ultimately lead to a higher income. This investment will prove to be a valuable one, offering a greater return in the future.

One potential solution is to employ non-violent communication and engage in dialogue with your mother. Given your history of adversity during your formative years, it is understandable that you desire to provide for your child's future. It is evident that you value your child's well-being and wish to ensure their success.

Secondly, I acknowledge your perspective, yet I must also address my own needs. I have limited academic efficiency at home, yet I am able to receive your support. However, my primary objective is to pursue graduate studies and obtain a more lucrative position. I hope that you, my parents, will provide me with the necessary assistance to achieve this goal.

In conclusion, the aforementioned recommendations represent the extent of the advice that I am able to offer at this time. I extend my best wishes to you all.

Hello! I'm so honored to answer your question, and I really hope that my sharing will be helpful to you.

It might help to make a list of everything you need to say. When the time is right, you can share it with your parents. If there isn't a good time, it's a good idea to set some boundaries in advance. Let your parents know that you're studying for exams and ask them to be respectful of your space. If they're not, kindly remind them of the boundaries you've set.

For example, let me show you what I mean.

Studying at home: It's a great idea to set aside a time for focused study at home. For example, you could try 7:30 to 10:00 pm, with a break from 8:30 to 8:50 pm. If your parents want to talk to you, you can tell them about your schedule and ask them to cooperate.

It's time to go out and study! You've got to budget your own expenses until the end of the exam or something else. Just arrange them according to the cost standards. When your parents ask, you can tell them that you've arranged it yourself, that the expenses come from your salary, and that you've saved money in other ways to allay their concerns.

It's okay to separate the issues. Even if we respond in the best way we can, our parents might still be unhappy. In these moments, it's helpful to remind ourselves to respect ourselves and our parents, to remain silent and quiet when our parents nag, to give our parents some time, and to trust that our parents will understand us and believe in their ability to cope.

It's clear that the questioner values family harmony a lot. It's so important to respect your true feelings more. In the short term, this may cause some dissatisfaction among your parents, but it's okay to calm down. They'll see your needs, and I truly believe they'll choose to respect each other's decisions and actions, right?

You've got this! Believe in yourself, and you can do it.

That's all I wanted to share with you. I wish you all the best. The world and I love you!

Hello, I'm Coach Yu, and I'm thrilled to discuss this topic with you!

Now, let's dive into the fascinating topic of boundaries! It's essential to understand not just other people's boundaries, but also your own. These boundaries are what make you unique and distinguish you from others. In family relationships, parents and children have their own boundaries, too. They have their own interests and hobbies, and they have their own ways of doing things.

Some parents have a wonderful, loving relationship with their children, but they sometimes forget that their kids are individuals with their own personalities and needs. When this happens, they may try to control their kids to fulfill their own wishes.

Our bodies are amazing! When our boundaries are violated, our bodies will send out signals such as a rapid heartbeat, a feeling of heat all over the body, restlessness, and sweating.

Sometimes we don't want to offend others, sometimes we don't want to damage relationships, sometimes we avoid potential risks, and sometimes we feel that we are "overthinking" and "making a big deal out of it," ignoring signals that our boundaries are being violated. We are afraid to establish and maintain our own boundaries and dare not protect ourselves. But there's a better way! We can learn to set healthy boundaries and protect ourselves.

As the original poster wrote, I want to go out and live to facilitate my postgraduate studies! I'm just a little worried that my parents won't agree.

Let's ask ourselves: What is my parents' inner need when they say that the study room is too far away and they are looking for a closer one? I'm excited to hear your thoughts!

Now, let's dive into the emotions and feelings this brings up for you!

We can also try to ask ourselves: What is my mother's inner need when she can't sleep at 2:30 in the morning and wants to talk to me? What are my thoughts?

Now, let's explore the emotions and feelings this brings up in you!

Let's also ask ourselves: What is my mother's inner need when she says that it is not easy to earn money by wasting it? What is your own opinion?

What emotions and feelings does it bring up in you?

Let's ask ourselves: do we feel uncomfortable with some of the things our parents say or do? Do we feel offended for no reason?

We can also ask ourselves, have we considered responding to our parents' behavior? If so, what would we say?

What can we do?

And we can ask ourselves what we want from this open and honest conversation with our parents. What do we want from our relationship with our parents?

We can find some time to have an honest conversation with our parents, listen to their stories about their childhood, understand our parents from a different perspective, and feel their true state of life. At the same time, we also get to express our discomfort, that our daughter has grown up and we hope that our parents will do things differently in the future.

Communication is a wonderful thing! It can relieve and release our emotions, and it can also enhance our parent-child relationship. Of course, we need to be prepared for both eventualities. If our parents readily accept it, we can proceed gradually.

If they can't accept it at once, don't be discouraged! It's been a habit for so many years, so we can create the right opportunities to communicate again. We believe that time and sincerity will make our parents see their own growth!

And finally, love yourself! The questioner was quick to notice her emotions and used a platform to ask for help, which is great. So let's start by caring for ourselves, taking care of our bodies and our feelings.

We can absolutely try to reconcile with our emotions! When we are feeling anxious or worried, we can immediately say "stop," take a deep breath, and do something else, such as listening to music, stretching, etc., to distract ourselves. Meditation and mindfulness are also excellent ways to regulate. We can also try recording what our feelings are at the moment!

You are writing to yourself, so go for it! Write about your feelings honestly. This will help us understand the origins and effects of our emotions and also help us clarify the root of the problem.

We can also seek help! Since this matter is troubling you, it is not easy to overcome it immediately. But you can do it! Try to find a family member or friend you trust and who has always given you positive support to talk to. If you feel the need, you can also find a counselor, because emotions must have an outlet to relieve the heaviness and blockage in our hearts.

Absolutely! We also need to empower ourselves. Slowly, we will discover our own unique value and construct a self-evaluation system. When you have a stable core, your maturity and self-confidence will be the greatest comfort to your parents.

I highly recommend the book "Know Thyself, Accept Thyself"!

Good day.

Could I ask why you want to go to graduate school?

You and your parents live together, and it could be said that you rely on each other. You need to study at home, save money, and of course, there's the cost of living at home and eating at home, which saves even more money.

Your parents could benefit from having someone to talk to, and they may appreciate some help with the housework. It seems that you both need each other and could benefit from living together.

There are advantages and disadvantages to living together.

Studying at home is not the most efficient use of time. You want to go out and find a study room, but your mother says it has to be closer. You find a place nearby, but she says it's a waste of money and it's not easy to earn it. She is quite considerate, but perhaps what she didn't say is, "I'd appreciate it if you didn't leave me, I need your company."

Ultimately, it is your money, and you feel that she is not being reasonable. You have the desire to study for the postgraduate entrance exam, and your true feelings may be, "I have earned this money, and I have the right to do so. I want to study for the postgraduate entrance exam, I want to develop, and see the bigger world..."

"I have also considered sharing this with them, but I am concerned that it might lead to some difficulties in our relationship and potentially unpleasant conversations. If I may put it euphemistically, I'm unsure of the best way to broach the subject."

This passage seems to reflect your innermost feelings. It appears to be a situation where a child and parents are reluctant to part. It seems that parents need your company, and you feel guilty when you leave. You want to take the postgraduate entrance exam and develop yourself to see the outside world. Would you say you have the right to do so?

Perhaps you're wondering whether you'd like to grow up and see the outside world.

This may entail a separation from our parents, which could initially cause discomfort. However, it may ultimately facilitate personal growth and lead to greater fulfillment. When we recognize this possibility, we may have made our own decision.

Should you require professional assistance on the subject of separation, you may wish to consider contacting a listener or counselor on the platform.