I was afraid of arguing with people, so I felt so aggrieved that I didn't ask what was going on.

Good day, my name is Xindu. After reviewing the question, I would like to express my understanding of your emotions.

In some cases, the individual providing the service may have made an error.

I'm unclear on the context of the conversation. If the other person simply answered your question descriptively and did not attack you, it seems he was expressing his opinion. He believed you only wanted a bun and had forgotten about the set meal you had ordered.

However, your description indicates that you were angry. I recommend that you review this situation. Please reflect on what you were thinking at the time. What caused your emotional response?

From your description, it appears that you have elevated his words or this incident to a higher level. He is bullying you, and you are hesitant to fight back or argue. This has caused you to feel aggrieved. It would be beneficial to consider what the other person's reaction in this incident means to you. Have there been similar situations in the past?

You will gain insight into the information you selectively pay attention to. How do you define and perceive external information, or to put it more directly, how do you interpret this information? If it is other colleagues you are familiar with, do they have different interpretations? How would they handle it?

You have indicated that you would like to learn how to deal with these issues in the future.

First, identify comparable scenarios in which other individuals or literature have proposed solutions that align with your preferences. Then, construct a mental representation of the situation. This entails envisioning various potential outcomes with different individuals and circumstances. Additionally, consider how you would respond in each scenario, including your facial expressions, emotions, spoken words, and actions. Repeat this visualization process until it becomes a routine practice. This approach can effectively alter your emotional state and establish an automated response mode. However, it necessitates a sustained commitment over an extended period. I hope this information is beneficial to you. Best regards,

Good day, host. It is evident that you are distressed due to your perceived lack of courage. Allow me to extend a comforting embrace.

Everyone possesses a unique set of character traits. Based on my observations, I believe that yours is prudence, which prompts you to consider all factors before taking action. In this instance, you were concerned about potential consequences and opted to endure the situation. This was a prudent decision that served to protect your interests.

The subject in question feels aggrieved because they did not question the other party clearly at the time and feel misunderstood. This is an unpleasant feeling.

For those seeking to enhance their confidence in communication-barriers-with-superiors-and-public-speaking-anxiety-and-tension-5890.html" target="_blank">public speaking, a wealth of literature and training resources are available. One may choose to pursue gradual learning and advancement in this area.

In consideration of the incident you have described, it may be beneficial to adopt the perspective of the other party and hypothesize, in a benevolent manner, that there was a possibility that he was unaware of your payment for the set meal. It is important to recognize that he still has to conduct business, and therefore, it is reasonable to assume that he was not aware of your payment.

It is possible that the incident was caused by a misunderstanding resulting from ineffective communication.

It is inevitable that individuals will possess disparate qualities and dispositions. Perfection is an unattainable ideal. In this instance, the subject displayed a disagreeable demeanor and mumbled to himself, so it would be prudent to refrain from dwelling on this minor detail and instead focus on enhancing one's quality of life.

Hello! It's amazing how much our everyday lives can affect our feelings and influence our actions!

You feel aggrieved, afraid of arguing with people, and avoid speaking in a way that could cause conflict. This leaves you feeling sad afterwards. But there's more to it than that! When you feel aggrieved, you don't speak up for yourself or figure out what happened.

I commend you for taking the matter seriously and raising it as a problem without avoiding it. It shows that you have the courage to face your emotions head-on. When you recall the incident, you can describe your complex feelings in detail, which is a great sign. It indicates that you have a meticulous and clear grasp of your emotions, which is a wonderful trait. This often indicates that you had a good nurturing environment when you were a child that was able to care for you.

When viewed as a whole, this reflects a person's natural emotions and empathy for the other person, which are all fantastic foundations!

The good news is that we can still explore the ambiguities in this matter and discover where there is room for improvement and in which direction.

First, when you face a situation or other people that you are not sure about, you may feel weak. This feeling makes you hide your true opinions and even respond with a smile that is completely different from your true anger. But there's a way to turn this around!

This is an excellent way to regulate your emotions! The only disadvantage is that it hides your true intentions, which you may not want to reveal because you're afraid of arguments or being the focus of attention. But here's the thing: revealing your true self does indeed carry risks, but it also has its important value!

In other words, it's not realistic to expect you can express your true self without any risk. That's not how it works! Expressing your true self (especially the self that is often different from the usual self) is often accompanied by uncertainty and danger.

So in this direction, there may be two new attempts to be made. One is to explore and learn a new way and technique of expression, so that when faced with similar situations, one can express one's doubts while not provoking arguments.

The second is to explore why one feels powerless. There are so many reasons why this might be the case! Apart from objective reasons (such as women's strength being weaker than men's), are there any psychological reasons (such as growing up in an environment where caring is better, and people who do manual labor are seen as vulgar and violent)?

Second, you get angry when you are confronted with someone who does not understand what you are saying, as in the cafeteria. This is actually a very interesting point, and it goes even deeper!

Because anger can be understood as a feeling of dissatisfaction and rage, and when angry, a person is often naturally and consistently followed by aggressive words or actions. In reality, you suppressed this aggressive display, but it caused you harm.

This is where it gets really interesting! You may feel that others have a duty to listen to you or take care of you, otherwise you have every reason to be angry. But here's the thing: this is not the case in all environments and families. Why? Because in other situations, a person needs to take care of themselves and survive before they are willing to listen to others.

Of course, we can't judge whether it's good or bad — but that's the beauty of it!

We really hope this analysis helps you in some way. It's not meant to be a perfect fit for your situation, but we're excited for you to find support and help in it!

Hello, I'm Xin Tan, Coach Fei Yun.

You feel angry, but you can't express it. I hug you with all my heart. You and the other person are both right because there has been a miscommunication. Let's look at the problem you're having:

1. Seeing the big picture

The other person made a mistake when buying rice, which made you feel hurt. You said the point of your expression is whether you want rice or steamed bread, take away or eat here.

Start by making things convenient for the other person so they don't have to ask again. At the dinner table, they're not just focused on the food.

Or, to put it another way, you didn't get through to him.

You misunderstand each other because you express yourself differently. The matter itself is not important, but you feel aggrieved because your "kindness" has been ignored. You feel that you have not been treated with respect, and more deeply, because you need to be recognized and accepted.

The other person's questions make you feel attacked and denied, which destroys your sense of worth. That's why you feel emotions.

When we see the truth of a problem and put ourselves in the other person's shoes, we have more options. We can feel aggrieved or ignore it because we see the other person's limitations and that there has been a miscommunication, not a problem with them.

2. Build self-confidence.

If you're sensitive, you'll be called "pretentious" and "not worth it." But your feelings are real. Getting hurt hurts, even if it doesn't show physically.

When we're aware, we can tell the difference between real and fake hurt. We also have the right to choose.

We care what others say and do, especially when they accuse, deny, or criticize us, because of our sense of worth.

We need to feel worthy, secure, and like we exist. When we feel unworthy, we are easily influenced by others.

Our parents' opinions of us when we were young affect how we see ourselves. If they often agree with us, we feel better about ourselves and show it.

From relationships, you can see your patterns: self-negation or self-affirmation, inferiority or confidence, optimism or pessimism. Patterns can be changed. Awareness is the first step.

I hope this helps. I love you.

Click "Find a coach" to continue communicating. I will communicate and grow with you one-on-one.