If we have no relationship, we will die? What is a relationship?What is psychological independence?

Hello, I'm therapist Xu Bing, your listener.

Chances are, you've already thought about this and made some observations. The fact that you've invested thought in this question probably means it's important to you and may be related to some important feelings in your life. I hope my response is helpful.

1. Connecting with people is something we're all born with. I see relationships as a way of connecting with others.

It's both biological and psychological. It's about survival and living well.

Relationships are the emotional bonds between people. For babies, relationships are like a psychological umbilical cord.

First, on a physical level, bonding is almost essential for survival. This involves some knowledge of biological evolution.

The lowest animals don't need relationships because they can survive on their own, even when they're born. For example, a fish has finished spawning and doesn't care whether its offspring will survive.

So many "fish eggs" are eaten before they can become fish, and each egg is alone and helpless. The bottom line is that the survival of lower animals depends on sheer numbers.

As creatures evolved, more advanced ones came along, and the young of these needed a period of parental care because the more advanced the creature, the later maturity came. So the "mammalian brain" evolved, which is responsible for emotional feelings.

The most important thing this brain is good for is connecting with other members of the same species. We all know that this is the bonding instinct that higher organisms are born with. A mother dog can take care of her children because of this instinct, and when a mother takes care of her young, the father will go out to find food.

This instinct for bonding connects not only families but also communities. Bonding with one's own kind is essential for the survival of the entire species.

Put simply, creatures without an emotional brain (pre-amphibian creatures) only care about whether they can survive. After evolving an emotional brain, however, creatures care about whether "we" can survive.

Humans are the most advanced creatures, so human children are the most physiologically mature when they are born. This means that they need the care of their parents for the longest time in the biological world. When a child is born, it cries, it has an embrace reflex, and it soon smiles. All of these are ways of connecting with people.

During World War II, some children who had lost their parents were sent to orphanages. These children had food, but they also had a high mortality rate and experienced delayed development. This was the first time that people began to study how children could survive and be healthy. It was only then that they discovered that although these children were well fed, they lacked hugs, touch, communication, and so on. These latter interactions are relationships.

So, babies don't just need food to survive. They also need to feel the presence of others in a relationship. The presence of others reflects my own existence. Humans are not just mechanical beings. We're spiritual beings too.

The human experience is more spiritual than having a human body.

From a psychological perspective, a child's mental growth is closely tied to their relationships. Positive and supportive relationships can foster a person's cognitive development, while negative relationships can hinder it. Regardless of the quality of a relationship, it's always preferable to have one at all.

There's a famous experiment where two monkey mothers were placed in a cage with a group of monkey cubs. One monkey mother was made of wire but had an endless supply of milk hanging from her chest. The other monkey mother was also made of wire but was wrapped in a thick, soft layer of fabric.

The experimenters noticed that the baby monkeys would only go to the "wire monkey mother" when they were hungry, but once they were full, they would stick around for the rest of the day. This experiment shows us that food alone isn't enough to keep monkeys happy, and that humans have more emotional and spiritual needs than monkeys because our minds are more developed.

Second, the state and characteristics of one party in the relationship affect the mental development of the child. Take the baby adopted by the wolf, for example. She had a relationship with the wolf and the wolf had an emotional brain that could understand basic feelings and emotions. Despite having human potential, the baby couldn't develop in the wolf's environment.

Of course, there have also been some studies that show that being isolated from other people for a long time can have a negative effect on both your physical health and your mental wellbeing.

This goes to show how important relationships are to us, and that we simply can't live without them.

2. It's important to remember that relationships are not only external, but also internal.

We're brought up in relationships, and these relationships become part of us over the years. Even when we're alone, we're still in a relationship. For example, memories of relationships with other people may come to the fore, and we may view a stranger through the lens of past relationship patterns and feelings.

There's a story about a young man who was looking for a village with many good people. He walked through many villages and was a little disappointed. One day,

He arrived at the entrance of another village and saw an elderly man there. He figured he'd ask the man if the people here were nice before deciding whether to enter the village.

So he asked the elder, "Do you think everyone in this village is good?"

The elder didn't give a direct answer, but instead asked the young man, "Are people good where you come from?"

The young man was a little confused, so he asked the old man, "What does it matter? The people here aren't the same as the people where I came from."

The old man said, "It makes a big difference. If you think the people where you come from are all good, the people here will also be good; if you think the people where you come from are not all good, the people here will also be like that; if you think the people where you come from are both good and bad, the people here will also be both good and bad."

It's a fact that we're all born into relationships. Babies and young children need to be connected to their parents. As long as we survive, we get the nutrients from relationships that allow us to survive. But at the same time, this umbilical cord also transfers less nutritious and even toxic factors to us.

This will leave a mark on your heart.

Over time, we may even come to hate relationships, sabotage them, or avoid them altogether. This feeling can stick with a person for a long time, even a lifetime.

It's true that our relationship experiences as children have a big impact on us. When we're young, we're passive and don't have the ability to make our own choices. But in adulthood, if we're willing, we can change our feelings about relationships and relationship patterns.

It does take a little time, though.

We can avoid external relationships, but not internal ones. When someone chooses to avoid relationships, it just shows that they have a relationship in their heart.

So, what should we do? If you're afraid of relationships,

We can decide to get into a relationship that's right for us, or we can take a step back to protect ourselves. Either way, we just need to take it slow.

We can actively look for good, constructive relationship experiences, such as with a professional counselor. This can help us heal from previous relationships, while also activating our spiritual self-healing function and gradually rediscovering the feeling of loving ourselves and those around us.

Psychological independence is something that's developed through different experiences in relationships. It's reflected in how maturely we connect with others.

Independence doesn't mean you don't need others or that you can't connect with others. You can choose to be anywhere along the relationship spectrum, from "very distant from others" to "very close to others." You can either be very distant from others and cut off the relationship, or you can be very close to others, as if fused together, or somewhere in between. No matter what the distance from others is, you can still be stable, self-accepting, and free of entanglements.

You can connect with others while still maintaining your own identity, without losing yourself to the influence of others, and without having to defend yourself too rigidly. The self has boundaries, but they can be flexible, permeable, and open to a certain extent. Allowing the inner self to be released and also absorbing the influence of the outside world into oneself is the process of moving towards spiritual independence.

Independence isn't isolation. It's having a complete self while connecting at the same time.

As for those who hide away in the mountains to practice year-round, they may seem to be going into the mountains outwardly, but inwardly they may be avoiding relationships. They may think that they can transcend the troubles of the world through solitary ascetic practices. It's not always clear whether they go into meditation and enlightenment nourished by the warmth and fullness of relationships within.

Sometimes practice is just practice, and sometimes it's defense. I respect practitioners and practices, but I don't want to generalize.

Good day, My name is Jia'ao, and I'm not here to make any requests.

You also inquired about relationships in your previous message, correct? It appears that you have not yet received a satisfactory response.

You are interested in learning more about the nature of relationships and their impact on our lives. Is it accurate to conclude that a lack of relationships could have serious consequences? However, you are also seeking clarity on the concept of psychological independence.

Is maintaining relationships a prerequisite for survival? If so, should we all adopt a cautious approach to ensure our continued existence? Is this the optimal strategy?

If you are still uncertain, it is likely that you are aware of the importance of relationships. It is a fact that we cannot live without some form of relationship with others. As the saying goes, "People live to find relationships and connections with others." "People are social animals and cannot live independently of others." However, you may be unsure of how to maintain relationships while also maintaining your individuality. Do you feel that you have to compromise your own values just to gain the approval of others?

Otherwise, there will be no harmonious interpersonal relationships, and you will be unable to function independently. How should you address this issue?

If you do not have relationships, you will not survive. What is a relationship? What is psychological independence?

Let's proceed with the discussion.

People are social animals, and socializing is a necessary part of life. Each day, we receive information from others and learn from their experiences and wisdom. This includes communication and coordination in learning and work, as well as contact and interaction in intimate relationships. These are all aspects of social relationships. It is important to understand how to establish social relationships without losing yourself.

1. [Maintain a calm state of mind]

It is crucial to maintain a peaceful state of mind, regardless of future circumstances. Avoid self-deprecation or excessive self-promotion, as well as condescension towards others. When interacting with colleagues, strive to maintain a balance between being overly cautious and being too casual. It is normal to make mistakes, but if these occur frequently, it may impact professional relationships. Be sincere and avoid unproductive discussions. Being open-minded increases the likelihood of positive interactions and mutual respect.

2. [Maintain an open mind]

It is crucial to be more understanding and tolerant, less calculating and complaining in social interactions. It is unproductive to engage in endless debates with others over trivial matters. Instead, it is more beneficial to express genuine appreciation for others who are living a good life, rather than engaging in negative behaviors such as calculation and complaining. Adopting a different perspective and maintaining an open mind will lead to a more positive and fulfilling life.

3. [Persevere in your beliefs]

It is important to maintain your independence, but this should not be at the expense of your personal interests. There is no need to be overly cautious or to compromise your principles just to gain the approval of others. You should learn to be true to your heart and true to yourself, and to take yourself as the starting point for everything. You can try this approach.

I hope this information is helpful. Best regards, [Name]

Hello, my dear friends!

Hi, I'm Kelly, the heart explorer!

We're all on this journey of exploring relationships, and it's so wonderful to see how our relationships with all people and things are endless.

Let's dive in and explore them together!

I think we can all agree that relationships are important for our survival.

The wonderful thing about object relations theory is that it shows us how important it is for us to connect with others.

Let's see what our psychologists have to say about our relationship with objects!

When it comes to object relations, we all know and love Klein, Mahler, Bowlby, and Cohenberg, who are all the most important object relations theorists.

They each had a different focus when it came to object relations theory.

I just wanted to circle back to what you said.

Do we really need a relationship to survive?

The wonderful thing about object relations theory is that it assumes that babies have an active fantasy life from the very start.

These fantasies are like mental symbols of the instincts that our subconscious is hard at work on.

Klein thought that the "infant" is always caught in a tug-of-war between the instincts of life and death. That's right, between good and bad, love and hate, creation and destruction!

To help them cope with this tricky duality of good and bad, little ones organise their experiences into mind positions. These are states or ways of dealing with internal and external objects.

Klein had a really interesting take on how young children's feelings and thoughts affect their object relations. For instance, if a young child has a negative experience with an object, it's often because they've projected their angry thoughts and feelings onto the object.

The wonderful Dr. Melanie Klein is the main founder of the famous object relations theory in the school of dynamic psychology. She regards the whole progressive organism of the self as a process of symbiosis, separation, and differentiation.

Mahler was a great thinker who came up with a helpful way to understand the separation-individuation process. She divided it into four sub-stages: differentiation, practice, reconciliation, and movement towards object constancy. She also proposed two earlier stages: the autistic stage (0–2 months) and the symbiotic stage (2–9 months).

Winnicott also believed that successful development is reflected in a child's ability to integrate object-directed love and hate. However, unlike Klein, he felt that these achievements depended on the environment, and that mothers played an important role in providing a good environment. Therefore, Winnicott proposed the concepts of a good enough mother and a maintainable environment.

(This "good enough" includes providing the "baby" with just the right amount of frustration, which is totally doable!)

Bowlby developed attachment theory based on object relations, in which he defined attachment as a lasting, deep, and meaningful psychological connection between people.

All of these wonderful psychologists mentioned how important it is to have good relationships with objects.

It's so important for infants to have a good relationship with the people and objects around them.

Attachment theory made its way into the mainstream school of psychoanalysis thanks to some pretty amazing research by Answorth.

This is also known to us all as the Strange Situation Test.

This test helped him to divide attachment patterns into:

Anxious-secure attachment is a wonderful thing!

Let's talk about avoidant attachment.

And finally, we have anxious-resistant attachment.

This is called "disorganized/disoriented attachment."

We've all heard the saying that a happy childhood heals for a lifetime, while an unhappy childhood requires a lifetime to heal.

I'd like to share a few familiar examples with you:

1: For example, when people talk about Eileen Chang, they often associate her with feelings of loneliness, meanness, and indifference. But we can also learn about some of her personality traits from her literature, the influence of her early parenting style, and her family environment.

I just have a feeling that she may have an avoidant attachment.

2: Let's take a look at another person, Ms. Yang Jiang, who we all know and love. Her family of origin was a happy family. Although they weren't wealthy, she had a happy childhood, and her marriage to Mr. Qian Zhongshu is also a literary legend. I remember someone describing her family of origin in this way:

Mothers often have a motherly appearance, while fathers usually have a fatherly appearance.

All of this shows us just how important it is for infants and young children, as well as children themselves, to have good relationships with their early caregivers.

These are also topics that psychologists are still looking into, exploring them with a developmental perspective.

So, you know, you said that you can't live without relationships, and I totally get that. I just think that relationships aren't always absolute.

All of these studies show us just how important the infant stage, early childhood, and other stages and objects are.

We totally get how important it is to have good early objects.

As we grow up, we can continue to live with pain or trauma.

Then let's make sure we understand what an object is.

Object:

This is where it gets really interesting! It refers to the object to which a person's emotions are directed. Emotional investment is essential. Not everything is called an object. Objects can be people, objects, places, ideas (beliefs), and fantasies.

Just like infants and children, if they don't have a good object or caregiver, because they are dependent on others and unable to take care of themselves, then without others and relationships, they will surely suffer.

So, it seems that we really do need to maintain our relationships to stay alive!

I just wanted to say that the sentence I mentioned earlier is relative.

What is a relationship?

I think the best way to explain it is to say that it's a connection made through sharing energy and resources between the person and the object.

I came across this really interesting way of looking at things the other day.

So let's learn more together!

Have you ever wondered what a bad relationship is? We often say that we can't agree with someone on anything. (Birds of a feather flock together.)

In life, we will definitely encounter such relationships, for example, in my intimate relationships:

I go east, he goes west; I laugh and joke, he sighs in silence; I want to eat, he wants to sleep; I want to work, he wants to rest... You want to be proactive, he wants to enjoy life and be comfortable.

Often, these kinds of relationships make me feel a bit uncomfortable. But they also help me grow and overcome my unhappiness and pain.

I really like a book called "Growing in Relationships."

Our relationship with objects and our beliefs

Mr. Zhu Guangqian has a wonderful book called "Psychology of Literature and Art." It's a great read! He talks about empathy, including attachment and relationships with art and literature.

Have you heard of the defense "sublimation"? It was one of Sigmund Freud's ideas.

As I said before, as we grow up, our relationships with objects can be with people, things, beliefs, places, and even fantasies.

[On the relationship with fantasy]

I remember the existentialist psychologist, Mr. Irving Yalom, saying that when he was a student, no teacher praised him.

He tried so hard and was really good at it, but he wasn't recognized. So, he gave himself a little "fantasy" and imagined every day on his bike that a teacher would praise him as a genius.

For example, I have a bit of a rocky relationship with my mom. I can also find a lot of "object relationships" in literature. For example, I really like Song Qingling, Yang Jiang, Li Qingzhao, Zhang Ailing, Lin Huiyin, Faye Wong, and other women.

I can have so many wonderful fantasies! For example, I could travel back in time through reading and chatting with Zhang Ailing about loneliness and Yang Jiang about parental love.

Take Li Shutong, for example. He became a monk and found support in his faith.

All relationships are neither good nor bad. As we grow up, we can understand and appreciate these people and relationships correctly, and that's a wonderful thing!

We can choose for ourselves, understand ourselves, explore ourselves, and then connect with the world. And that's a wonderful thing!

Let's talk about what psychological independence means.

We touched on this earlier, but psychologists say that the way we are raised in the early years can indeed lead to different personalities, attachment types, or even psychological problems.

But does it affect our whole life?

Or which kind of relationship is better?

Suffering can also bring strength. Some people grow through suffering, such as Su Dongpo, while others sink into depression in happiness.

Many people have come to understand themselves and have chosen solitude. And solitude can be a wonderful place to have a lot of time to yourself!

There are so many inspiring examples of people who have lived alone, like the amazing Ms. Yang Jiang. She had a wonderful relationship and lived alone until she was over 100 years old!

She has her very own spiritual kingdom!

And there's me! I love travelling alone, going shopping, and having time to myself so I can think and reflect on how the outside world relates to me.

When I see a flower, I just love to admire it quietly. It's my favorite thing to do, and I really enjoy it!

We have the wonderful choice of being with people or being alone.

People who are psychologically independent really enjoy their own company.

Loneliness is just a state of mind or feeling, and it's nothing to be ashamed of!

Do you remember our dear friend, the poet Li Bai?

"Drinking alone under the moon"

A jug of wine among the flowers, drinking alone with no intimate companion.

I raise my cup to the bright moon and my shadow and we become three!

Oh, the moon doesn't understand drinking, and my shadow follows me alone.

For now, I'm just enjoying the moon and its shadow. We've got to make the most of spring while we can!

I sing as the moon wanders, and I dance with a disheveled shadow.

When we're awake, we enjoy each other's company. When we've had a little too much to drink, we go our separate ways.

Let's wander together forever, as free as the sky and the sea!

Thoreau said something really interesting. He said that just because you're close to someone in space doesn't mean you're close in spirit.

Even in the hustle and bustle of the halls of power, he couldn't shake that feeling of loneliness and isolation. And so, he faced everything alone.

Behind this loneliness is also the arrogance of "the heroes of the world are only you and me." This is the realm of the ego, which can sometimes make us feel a bit isolated.

When the human spirit is independent, it's connected to everything in the world.

I'm so grateful you asked this question! It's helped me sort out some things I've been thinking about.

I really hope we can all move towards true independence.

I love you, world! And I love you, too!

Hello, host. I'm confident my answer will be helpful.

As social animals, we do need relationships to survive. However, this does not mean we have to be careful or that we should always be in bad relationships. Different relationships will have different influences on us. We should seek relationships that nourish us and promote our development. We should avoid constantly being with people who dislike, reject, and attack us. People who can avoid the world and live a reclusive life, or people who can stay at home alone for years, are not without relationships. At least they have managed their relationships well.

Having interpersonal relationships is not at odds with being psychologically independent. In fact, a psychologically independent person is at ease in interpersonal relationships because they can accept and understand themselves and others. They take responsibility and make contributions in relationships, thereby realizing their value, which is a testament to their psychological independence.

I'd like to share some thoughts with you now.

It is a universal law of humanity that we all come into this world through relationships. We feel love, warmth, and support in relationships, as well as rejection and doubt. This is a trait that has been passed down in our genes.

A child is born into a relationship with their mother. This is the first relationship in their life. When they are born, they are unable to feed themselves, walk by themselves, or speak. They rely on their mother or other important family members for care. Without this care, they would not survive.

It is clear that a baby needs a relationship that provides food, nutrition, care, and protection. Without it, the baby will not survive.

From an evolutionary perspective, our ancestors used to be in the primeval forest. If they were alone, they would basically be eaten by wild animals or swept away by floods. However, those who could unite and cooperate to face the floods and wild animals together eventually survived, and we are all their descendants. Therefore, deep down, we are afraid of being alone and of not having a community. We all need to feel a sense of belonging, and we will feel at ease and secure when we have it.

2. We can choose our relationships, choose supportive relationships, and let more relationships nourish ourselves. We don't need to be with people who don't like us and become disliked ourselves.

You say that if everyone dislikes themselves, there will be no interpersonal relationships and they will not be able to survive. But why do we think that everyone dislikes us? We must challenge this assumption.

It is simply not possible for anyone to please everyone all of the time. Similarly, nobody can dislike everyone all of the time.

You can imagine that among your relatives and friends, there are people with whom you feel very comfortable. You can tell them anything, even if it's something you feel a little bit embarrassed about. You don't worry that they will criticize you, think you are bad, dislike you, and leave you. Such a kind of interpersonal relationship is called a supportive one. It can make your heart more stable, more peaceful, and more joyful. You can get a lot of warmth and support in such an interpersonal relationship.

We will also meet other people, and when we are with them, we may feel scared, fearful, cautious, or afraid of upsetting them, of them not liking us, of them leaving us. This kind of relationship is not supportive, and in such a relationship, we will become more and more drained, and less and less like ourselves. We deserve better.

In future relationships, seek out supportive connections and prioritize spending time with people who make you feel comfortable. You have the right to choose your relationships.

3. Learn to support yourself, establish a good internal relationship, and when your relationship with yourself becomes harmonious, you will also feel more at ease and relaxed in your interpersonal relationships. This will allow you to maintain your psychological independence in interpersonal relationships.

Psychology teaches us that we project our feelings and thoughts onto other people, leading us to believe that they feel the same way. Psychology also reveals that when something is missing inside us, we seek it outside.

Let me be clear: if you're afraid of not being liked in a relationship or if you feel others don't like you, it's because you don't like and approve of yourself enough. We all want to be liked and approved of by others, but the projection effect makes it difficult for us to feel the approval of others. And it's also difficult to find someone who gives us complete approval and love.

Seeking love from the outside is actually unstable. We can seek it from within. When you want others to like you, learn to like yourself. Give yourself enough love and support, care for and encourage yourself as you would a friend, and care for and look after yourself. When you like and love yourself enough, your inner being becomes full. You won't care so much whether the outside world likes you or not. You will also be able to feel more of the love and affection others have for you. There is a saying: when you start to love yourself, the whole world will come to love you. There is another saying: my dear, there is no one else in the world but yourself.

Here's a quote for you on maintaining psychological independence in relationships: we can be ourselves when we are alone, but in relationships we play our roles. What does it mean?

When we are alone, we can be our most authentic selves. In different relationships, we present different roles and take on corresponding responsibilities. For example, when you are a student, you study hard and follow the school's discipline. When you are a husband, you fulfill your responsibilities as a husband and take on the things that the role of a husband requires. When you are a teacher, you do your best to be a good teacher in the role of a teacher. Each of us has different roles, which can also be called personality masks. None of them can fully represent us. What we need to do is do what is required of that role in the relationship. When you are alone, you can fully be with yourself. This way, you can achieve a state of balance.

This is for your reference. Best regards,

Good morning, question asker.

I'm grateful you've posed a question that is rich with philosophical and psychological value.

I would like to pick up where you left off. The object relations theory suggests that people are essentially social creatures who rely on relationships to survive. Without relationships, it is possible that they may not thrive.

This theory is based on observations of mother-child relationships. It could be said that all our social relationships as adults stem from

It could be said that the development of relationships with our parents and family in the primary family, in other words, our attachment patterns and communication patterns with our family,

It would seem that this also determines the quality and stability of our relationships with other members of society when we grow up.

As social animals, we are dependent on one another for survival. Ultimately, our sense of identity and understanding of our own subjectivity

It could be said that our sense of identity and our understanding of our own subjectivity depend on the social evaluation system. It might also be the case that the establishment of our sense of subjectivity as a subject first comes from our parents' approval, and then as we grow up,

In different environments, our interactions with those around us may reflect aspects of our own selves. We may also draw upon the perspectives of others to gain insights and support.

I believe that this process of survival helps to shape who I am.

If we withdraw from people and lose this mirror, we may find it challenging to recognize and accept ourselves fully.

Whether or not to maintain social relationships is dependent on a number of factors, including our internal needs, desires, and the relatively

It is also influenced by the extent to which we pursue spiritual freedom.

It is also often said in psychology that a person with poor relationships may be better off than someone with no relationships at all.

This suggests that poor relationships may sometimes play a role in an individual's ability to cope with life's challenges.

From a survival perspective, it could be said that it is precisely an individual who is directly facing loneliness and the anxiety of death.

Whether or not it will die depends on our psychological resilience and degree of integration. This is an example of the power of psychological independence.

With the birth of the baby, we feel compelled to mention another topic you brought up: psychological independence. People who are psychologically independent are able to face loneliness head-on with courage and directness.

It might be suggested that there is a psychological explanation for loneliness. This could be the case when the mother is pregnant for ten months and begins to give birth, which results in the fetus being separated from the mother's body.

It could be said that this separation causes the first trauma, which may then lead to feelings of anxiety about death and separation.

It might be said that a sense of forced abandonment is suppressed in the subconscious.

From an existentialist perspective, it could be said that loneliness has three meanings: interpersonal loneliness, psychological loneliness, and existential loneliness.

It might be helpful to consider the concept of interpersonal loneliness, which can be defined as a sense of isolation caused by factors such as geographical isolation, a lack of social skills, or interpersonal barriers.

This can result in a sense of isolation and difficulty communicating with others due to cultural differences in religious beliefs and values.

It might be helpful to consider that you are experiencing psychological loneliness. Psychoanalytic theory refers to this as "detachment," which can be understood as a manifestation of an artificial defense mechanism.

According to Freud's perspective, it could be seen as a manifestation of obsessive-compulsive disorder, which is characterized by the experience of individuals mentally dividing themselves into multiple parts.

This can result in feelings being isolated and associated links being blocked. This can also result in desires and potential being suppressed, as well as other happy experiences being ignored. These experiences are then excluded from conscious experience.

This can also be understood as spiritual loneliness, which is a sense of being alone in one's thoughts and feelings.

It could be perceived as an unbridgeable gulf between yourself and any living creature in the world, a separation between man and the world. In other words, you are in the bustling downtown area.

And you may begin to feel your own loneliness, desolation, and emptiness. This could be seen as an integration and escalation of interpersonal and psychological loneliness.

It would seem that some Zen masters, some people who have attained enlightenment, and some people with a relatively high degree of freedom in their inner spiritual world have experienced a unique relationship between humanity and the natural world.

It is believed that relationships can be enhanced by seeking to find one's inner true self from the unity of heaven and man. This approach may help to foster a purer relationship between the self and existence, which could contribute to a healthier life.

With regard to your question about maintaining interpersonal relationships, it would appear that the key lies in achieving a better balance.

For instance, relationships such as those between parents and children within a family unit, or those between classmates, colleagues, employees, and leaders in society.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider how we can view the expectations associated with our social roles in a more flexible manner.

Good day. My name is Xintan Coach Fei Yun.

I am pleased to engage in discourse on the subject of relationships. From the questioner's written work, it is evident that he has presented his own perspectives and uncertainties regarding two specific points:

? 1. What is the significance of relationships in an individual's life?

Firstly, relationships persist throughout the lifespan. As the adage states, "no man is an island," and each individual is connected to others in one way or another.

For example, during the pandemic, some cities are quiet, some communities are closed, and some people are isolated at home. However, despite these circumstances, we remain connected to the world. We continue to engage in activities that nourish our lives, such as breathing, drinking water, and exercising.

Takeaways, nucleic acid testing personnel, and every day we are connected to the outside world and to other people through our phones, WeChat, and computers. This connection may be perceived as intangible, yet as long as our hearts are open, we will remain connected to others.

2. Individuals inhabit disparate life circumstances, which are elective.

"We would die without other people," therefore, it is imperative that we maintain certain relationships in order to sustain our existence. It is notable that the questioner mentioned "after all, if no one likes themselves," and employed the term "cautiously." It may be inferred that the act of maintaining relationships exerts a certain degree of pressure on the questioner.

It is imperative to comprehend the nuances of "loneliness" and "alone."

An individual who is "lonely" is disconnected from others, isolated, and has severed their connection with others, which can be considered a form of self-isolation. Isolation from others can result in painful feelings and is a form of passive isolation.

In contrast, solitude is a subjective experience of connection to the external world. The individual is fully present and engaged in a state of enjoyment. The capacity to establish a connection is a crucial differentiating factor between loneliness and solitude.

The underlying cause of loneliness is a low sense of self-worth, which impairs an individual's ability to foster positive self-esteem. This lack of self-affirmation and self-love leads to a tendency to avoid self-imposed constraints and to seek affirmation from external sources.

If one gives oneself a negative evaluation, it will have a detrimental impact on one's interpersonal relationships, ultimately leading to an inability to derive enjoyment from the company of others. This results in the severing of connections and the dissolution of relationships.

Those who avoid social interaction may experience distress when confronted with prolonged periods of solitude, leading to feelings of loneliness.

If this person simply enjoys being "alone" and does not feel lonely, it is irrelevant whether maintaining relationships with others affects the quality of his life, let alone leads to the result of "death."

A person who is adept at solitude does not experience the feeling of being constrained; thus, the urge to isolate oneself is absent. Instead, such an individual fosters connections with others. As previously stated, this entails "escaping from the world" and "living alone at home" while still leading a fulfilling existence.

It is merely a distinct state of being.

A person who is lonely is one who feels a lack of connection to others, resulting in a sense of loneliness. When an individual maintains an aware heart and assesses whether they are lonely (passive/forced) or alone (active choice), they have the capacity to choose and initiate change.

Simultaneously, awareness enables the differentiation between the self-critical and the self-evaluating aspects. This facilitates the ability to provide constructive feedback to oneself and to others, thereby enhancing one's capacity to engage in positive social interactions.

It is my sincere hope that the aforementioned information is beneficial to you. The world and I extend our love to you.

It is fortuitous that today is an opportune time to engage in the act of writing in a tranquil environment. To access the specific content, kindly refer to the link below: "Nietzsche's Collected Works" - "The Path to the Pursuit of Self," click on my avatar to see the specific content.

Should you wish to continue the communication, you are invited to click on the link entitled "Find a coach," which can be found in the upper right-hand corner or at the bottom of the page. This will enable you to engage in one-to-one dialogue with me on an ongoing basis.

The development of each theory is related to the era in which the creator of the theory lived and their personal life experiences. This makes the theory universal but also limited. Object relations are no exception.

Your message suggests confusion. The object relations theory suggests that getting along with others is crucial for survival. If we have poor interpersonal relationships and no one likes us, it would lead to a tragic end. However, some people seem to be thriving by avoiding the world and living a reclusive life or living alone at home.

We must understand the paradoxes that arise in real life.

I am confident that the following sharing will provide you with inspiration.

I am confident that you will find the following sharing enlightening.

It may seem contradictory, but it is actually natural. If you apply a theory to life, you will lose your true judgment of life.

As previously stated, object relations theory is based on the era in which it was developed and the personal experiences of its founder. Klein, a leading figure in object relations, is also known for her research on the mother-child relationship.

As any parent knows, a newborn baby is completely dependent on its primary caregiver for survival. This is why object relations theory emphasises the importance of interpersonal relationships.

However, the development of the times and network technology, especially in the era of the pandemic, has led to changes in the way we connect with others.

The abundance of material resources allows us to achieve self-sufficiency through mediums such as money, without relying on others to complete large-scale production together to obtain the means of survival.

If entertainment from Titty Joy satisfies some people's spiritual needs, then their connection with others becomes less important. Similarly, even if entertainment from Titty Joy does not satisfy others' spiritual pursuits, if they can feel the connection and understanding related to life in their own solitude and in the company of nature, then the need for interpersonal relationships will also be reduced.

The above is only an explanation of why some people don't need interpersonal relationships very much. It does not, however, deny the importance of interpersonal relationships to people.

Everyone's needs for interpersonal relationships are different, just as everyone's preferences for certain things are different. "Different people have different preferences." Based on the influence of biological evolution, collective cooperation to obtain survival resources, and the interaction between mother and child, many people long for harmonious, beautiful, and intimate interpersonal relationships. However, many people will still seek other forces in interpersonal relationships to support them in the process.

I am a psychotherapist, not a human nature expert. My focus is on the human heart. I wish you well.

Dear Question Asker,

Your inquiry has prompted me to reflect on the nature of aging. While your physical age may not correspond to the conventional notion of old age, your thoughts evince a depth and maturity that belies your years. I concur with your assessment. The decision to enter into relationships is not a universal one, and there are individuals who flourish in solitude.

The Sixth Patriarch posited a thought-provoking question: "How can one expect the self to be complete? Since our self is complete, there is indeed no need to enter into relationships. However, as the adage goes, 'Even a three-year-old knows it, but an eighty-year-old cannot do it.' In reality, few people adhere to the doctrine of the 'completeness of the self.' Apart from the fact that we require the assistance of others to meet our basic needs of clothing, food, shelter, and transportation, it is no longer feasible for us to subsist like primitive people, eating raw meat and drinking blood, practicing slash-and-burn agriculture. Even if someone elects to live a solitary life, they still require sustenance and warmth, and they must contend with nature.

The majority of individuals have experienced imperfect childhoods and imperfect parenting. It is inevitable that they will have experienced trauma. The psychological trauma that is brought about by experiences in childhood, such as a lack of a sense of security, worthiness, meaning, and intimacy, must be explored in relationships after the individual becomes an adult. It is important to note that relationships will not inherently provide a sense of security, worthiness, meaning, or intimacy. Ultimately, the individual will have to turn their attention back to themselves. However, relationships serve as a mirror, allowing the individual to gain a deeper understanding of themselves and discover the truth of their "self-fulfillment."

The term "self-actualization" is used to describe the process of achieving complete personal development and becoming a fully actualized individual.

In simplified terms, it comprises three elements: self-sufficiency, self-fulfillment, and freedom.

An individual who is self-contained possesses their own opinions, ideals, and value judgments and is not easily influenced by the opinions of others.

Self-fulfillment can be defined as the capacity to fully accept and be content with oneself, as well as the ability to enjoy solitude and a sense of personal happiness.

The state of being free and at ease implies that an individual is willing to pursue freedom and is adept at doing so, even when certain circumstances prevent the complete realization of their free will. Despite these limitations, they remain at peace with themselves.

The Jungian school posits that self-actualization, which is clearly conscious and oriented towards perfection, commences in a person's late middle years.

This is consistent with the aforementioned law. I did not embark on the journey of self-improvement until I reached the age of 43.

Indeed, growth can be conceptualized as a form of healing. Life is replete with motivational factors.

A lack of growth renders an individual susceptible to a range of psychological and physical issues. The resolution of such challenges hinges on the pursuit of growth.

Indeed, in contemporary times, whether in China or other nations, there has been a notable rise in the prevalence of mental health issues, which have not only intensified in recent years but are also becoming increasingly prevalent among younger age groups.

This is a consequence of the unintended consequences of business and technological development, particularly the proliferation of the Internet.

The advent of business and technology has given rise to a plethora of material desires and an insatiable thirst for wealth. This voracious appetite for wealth can have a profoundly detrimental impact on individual freedom.

For example, an individual may, fortuitously or through good fortune, secure a highly remunerative position that is incongruous with their skills and experience, resulting in significant distress. In such instances, the majority of individuals are constrained from relinquishing or modifying their circumstances due to their pursuit of wealth and material possessions.

On the one hand, the Internet has facilitated the proliferation of unconventional ideas, resulting in a pervasive influence on individuals' value systems. Conversely, while it has enhanced communication, it has also contributed to an increase in the perceived distance between people. The ease with which information can be transmitted has led to a reduction in the necessity and likelihood of face-to-face interactions.

Socialization, particularly in person, is a fundamental human need.

A significant contributing factor to the elevated prevalence of psychological issues among the post-95s and post-00s generations is their status as digital natives, or individuals who have grown up in an era defined by the pervasiveness of the Internet.

The process of human growth and healing necessitates the liberation from the constraints of external material wealth, in addition to the overcoming of the social ills prevalent in the Internet age.

The methodologies and techniques necessary to attain the aforementioned three components are somewhat distinct.

In terms of self-sufficiency, it is crucial to engage in extensive reading and reflection. By drawing upon the insights of preceding generations and emulating the wisdom of eminent individuals, one can cultivate a stable worldview, an informed perspective on life, and a set of values that align with one's personal beliefs. In particular, the formation of one's own ideals can equip individuals with the resilience to overcome challenges and persist in the face of adversity.

In terms of self-fulfillment, it is crucial to allocate sufficient time for solitude. Only when one has the opportunity to engage in solitary reflection can one develop the capacity to accept oneself, to cultivate contentment with oneself, and to face and appreciate loneliness rather than becoming overwhelmed by the demands of the social environment.

In terms of freedom, the courage to pursue it is mainly derived from courage itself. This courage represents the fundamental desire of life, and no external influence should be permitted to alter one's life path. The ability to pursue freedom is more of a method and skill, and one must be able to identify an optimal balance between freedom and survival, whether in one's career or lifestyle. Periodically, in response to circumstances and reality, one makes adjustments and changes, with some reservations.

A person's hobbies and dreams are of great consequence, as they constitute a vital component of a fulfilling life and self-realization. However, they have long been habitually ignored by the educational system, schools, parents, and society at large. When such fulfillment is applied in the business world, it manifests as entrepreneurship, which can be considered a mission in itself.

To a certain extent, the pursuit of self-sufficiency, self-fulfillment, and freedom is a crucial aspect of personal growth and healing. It is unclear where the questioner stands in terms of self-actualization.

Regardless of one's position on the spectrum of human development, one's perspective on human nature is of paramount importance.

I am a psychological counselor, Zhang Huili. It is my hope that my response will prove beneficial to you. Should you find it useful, I would be grateful if you would indicate your appreciation by clicking the "like" button. In this context of virtual interaction, I am seeking positive feedback to enhance my sense of self-worth. This is a matter of great importance to me.

Hello, I'm Look.

Marx said, "Man is a social animal." "Man creates and produces social connections and society."

Maslow divided human needs into five levels.

Physical needs

Basic needs for survival: food, clothing, shelter, and transportation.

Safety needs

This includes safety from theft and threats, protection from dangerous accidents, job security, social insurance, and retirement funds.

People need social connections.

People need friends and a sense of belonging. They also need to be able to empathize, help each other, and approve of each other.

The need for respect.

It includes the need to be respected and to have self-worth.

The need for self-realization

It means achieving your own goals and feeling that your life and work are meaningful.

Do we die without relationships?

Maslow's hierarchy of needs shows that human needs have a hierarchy. Once a need is met, a higher-level need will appear. The main need is the need for personal survival.

Choosing to live alone for a long time.

People's needs are hierarchical. These reclusive and solitary people have not had their safety needs met, so they will not pursue their social needs.

Psychological independence

It means being able to think for yourself and not depending on others.

It's the fifth level of Maslow's hierarchy of needs: self-actualization.

You can make your life meaningful by trying.

See yourself as the best. Best wishes!

Hello, question asker.

I read your question very carefully and feel that it is quite unique. I can sense that you yearn for solitude. You envy people who live a good life alone at home all year round, but you are also concerned that if you were to be alone, you might not be able to live a good life. You are also worried about whether you would be heading towards death. First of all, I should commend you for thinking so deeply!

Perhaps it would be helpful to define what we mean by "relationship." It seems that we are primarily discussing interpersonal relationships here. In our modern society, which is quite different from that of ancient times, there is a much greater division of labor. This suggests that relationships should be more extensive and more complex.

Let's just say we're alive! Not to mention that our parents gave birth to us. Even if we're all independent and can support ourselves, we still have to eat. If we eat, we'll need food and things to eat with.

We will establish relationships with others. For example, we will have to buy groceries, rice, bowls, and chopsticks. It could be said that if we want to have no relationships at all, it would be difficult to survive.

I believe that maintaining this basic state of life, as he said here, is important. If others don't like you, there will be no good interpersonal relationships, and then you won't be able to live. However, I don't think it's the same. We maintain good interpersonal relationships with others just to live more comfortably and make our lives more colorful. But we just maintain eating to keep our bodies healthy. I understand that it can seem complicated, but I think it's something we can all agree on.

I believe that when it comes to relationships, we should consider the following: we don't go around craving the perfect relationship with others, but we also don't need to dismiss them all at once and cut ties with everyone, leaving ourselves alone. Perhaps it would be more beneficial to avoid such extreme measures. Dualistic thinking is all or nothing. In today's society, it's not easy to be completely isolated from others.

If we can think like this, we might even consider staying at home and choosing to hide away from the world. In fact, that also has something to do with it, except that it is not the kind of exciting interpersonal relationships we are talking about. In that kind of state, we don't have to beg anyone, just maintain the ability to let us live. How can we not survive?

We may find ourselves living a similar life to those around us.

I believe that if your circumstances allow, you have the option of living a life of seclusion or simply staying at home. This is not a bad choice. However, I feel that you may have difficulty moving past this emotional hurdle. It is not that your feelings are wrong, but rather that our relationship will be straightforward as long as we can maintain our lives.

I have gone on at length about all this, but what I really want to say is that we don't need to please all kinds of relationships in order to maintain a basic livelihood. If you're tired, you can simply live the way you want. You won't be unable to live. I would gently suggest that you don't carry such a heavy burden. The simpler our hearts, the easier our actions will be.

We are no longer weighed down by such burdens, our hearts are more straightforward, and our actions are more straightforward too. Our hearts can truly be said to belong to ourselves! In this way, your heart will become independent.

I hope that you will soon embrace your independent self.

I hope the world and I can show you some love!

First of all, theories or words in books, even those of celebrities or great men, especially in the field of social sciences and humanities, are just certain interpretations and explanations of the world or society by others. They're not the truth or standard. It's important to question and screen, but understanding and learning are just tools and processes for one's own ultimate interpretation of various phenomena.

In the social sciences and humanities, no single theory or school of thought has ever been able to dominate the field. Each school of thought has always spoken for itself, and no one theory or school of thought has ever been able to explain and cover all phenomena. They're more like distinctions that are more applicable on a larger scale, not to mention the branches and specific concepts within them.

I don't really understand the concept of object relations, but to say that "we would die without other people" is clearly beyond everyday experience and knowledge. Either there's been a misunderstanding and the meaning of the concept itself is not properly understood, or the premise and limitations of the concept are being ignored.

Otherwise, it's hard to see how we could explain the example you gave.

The idea that object relations only refer to interpersonal relationships doesn't make sense. But if we use it to refer to people or things in general, it should be easier to understand and accept. After all, the English word for object is "object," which can be me, you, him, or even it.

If you live in the mountains or at home alone, you can't have any interpersonal relationships, but you still need the many "it's." No matter how isolated someone is, they're still living in this world. As long as you're alive, you can't escape this world.

Wishing you all the best!

People don't live to find relationships, but they need relationships to survive—and they're an amazing thing!

The great thing about people is that they can also survive independently of others. But if they want to, they have to be able to stand loneliness and have a certain ability to provide for themselves. For example, they can grow food to feed themselves!

Humans are social animals, and we were born to connect with others! If you live a secluded life in the mountains, you might find it a bit boring. But at that time, you may think that you can spend your whole life using your mobile phone to kill time. But guess what? Your phone can also let you meet people online and form relationships!

And the best part is, no one can make everyone else like them or hate them. Even if you are hated by most people, there will still be others who like you!

Now for the answer to the question!

1. People without relationships will die. An experiment conducted abroad had a person stay in a room with the necessary books and food, but unable to maintain contact with the outside world. The result was that the man had certain problems after coming out, and even had difficulty speaking. This shows that human communication is very important.

2. Relationships are a network! When I was in junior high, there was an amazing lesson on studying ideological and political theory. It was about how all people are included in a network of relationships. The teacher said that if you know one person, you can connect to everyone in the world!

3. Mental independence: This is the amazing ability to separate reason from emotion, as well as to separate oneself from others. It's about being able to accomplish things independently on one's own. It's not about having no relationship or communication.

Dear question owner,

The topics of relationships and loneliness are both complex and multifaceted, and it is challenging to fully capture their nuances in a single discussion. Let's explore the nature of relationships, which we can perhaps understand through examining three key aspects:

I believe that the essence of a relationship is connection and emotion.

2. One might venture to suggest that the relationship with one's mother is the most important relationship in the world.

3. It could be said that relationships are not just between people, but also between people and things, and between people and nature.

Perhaps we could begin by discussing the first one. It seems to me that the essence of relationships is emotional connection.

It could be said that human relationships and how people get along with each other have always been about people sticking together for warmth and protection. It is possible that individuals would have had a hard time surviving in the harsh environment of early human history, while groups could better secure the means of subsistence. It seems that early human relationships were built on the mutual needs and assistance of each other, and the emotions of human relationships were also established in such daily interactions: mutual needs, mutual assistance, and mutual care.

Furthermore, it could be said that this very primitive and simple emotional connection between people fosters closeness, strengthens emotions, instills a sense of security, and encourages reliance and trust between groups.

It would be challenging to survive without food, and it would also be challenging to survive without emotional connections and the support and help of others if you were cut off from the group.

This is supported by the well-known rhesus monkey experiment.

In an experiment, a young monkey was given two mothers: one was a soft toy mother without a bottle, and the other was a wire mother with a dangling bottle. It was observed that as soon as the monkey finished eating, it would leave the wire mother and go to hug the soft toy mother. The other monkey, which only had the wire mother, unfortunately passed away after a short time, even though it had milk to eat.

It could be said that the most important relationship in the world is the one with one's mother. It is possible that the quality of this relationship may lay the foundation for all future relationships.

It could be said that the first person a person comes into contact with in life is their mother. Even during pregnancy, the fetus already begins to interact and form a connection with the mother. Once the baby is born, it is likely that the first thing it is familiar with is its mother, her smell, and the feeling of interacting with her.

As they grow, babies become close to their mothers. It is important to note that the simple yet significant actions of breastfeeding, hugging, stroking, washing, and playing with the baby can satisfy both its physical and emotional needs. In their interactions with their mothers, babies feel loved and loving, which instills a sense of self-worth and self-esteem. They learn that they can be trusted and that they can also trust others.

It is believed that these are the spiritual nutrients necessary for the psychological development of an infant. With a close relationship with his mother, the child gradually grows up and begins to explore the world outside of his mother, including his mother's father, grandparents, other outsiders, children, and the external things he is curious about. This gradual process allows the child to move towards the vast world.

At a later stage, he will engage with people he has not yet met, visit cities he has never been to before to study, travel and earn a living. From that point on, he will gradually become more independent.

It might be said that relationships can be broadly classified into three categories: interpersonal relationships, relationships between people and things, and relationships between people and nature.

It is often the case that people live more peacefully when they have harmonious relationships with others. Apart from themselves, they can obtain resources and help through interpersonal relationships when needed.

Some people may find it challenging to navigate interpersonal relationships, but they can still cultivate and develop their own interests. For instance, they might enjoy football, fitness, reading, traveling, or research. This is the relationship between people and things. They can become immersed in it, and even though they may not interact with others, they can still feel a sense of fulfillment. They may not feel isolated or alone, and they can develop a deep connection with their interests. They may experience positive and negative emotions related to their interests, but these can also support them in living a fulfilling life.

Some people choose to live in solitude, immersed in the natural world. They reside in remote areas, far from the trappings of modern life, leading a simple, unassuming existence. They have no desire for material wealth or recognition, and they are indifferent to the trappings of fame and fortune. They have a deep connection with nature, and they blend in with the mountains, rivers, seagulls, and other creatures. They live in harmony with the natural world around them.

It is worth noting that people of this nature are often remarkably resilient and possess a depth of inner strength. They are not alone in this regard.

Hello, question asker! You ask, "If there were no relationships, we would die."

I am going to tell you what a relationship is and what psychological independence is.

First of all, I commend you for your curiosity and applaud your strong desire to know.

I can't promise I'll be able to solve your problems, but I'll do my best to answer your questions.

People live to find relationships and connections with others. We are social animals and cannot survive independently of others.

We must maintain relationships to stay alive because without other people, we would die. It would be a lot of work if we had to do it alone. If no one likes you, you cannot survive.

Some people choose to hide from the world and live in seclusion, or live alone at home for many years. They are just as capable of living a good life as anyone else.

I am going to tell you what a relationship is.

A relationship is a state of interaction and mutual influence between things. It refers to the direct psychological connection or psychological distance between people during an activity.

There are two types of relationships: formal and informal. Informal relationships are older and more common than formal ones. In Chinese, guānxì has been used to refer to the connections between people for thousands of years. However, the word guānxì has a specific meaning: the use of personal connections for political or economic gain.

Research shows that the term first appeared in 1978. In Western literature, relationships are often defined as "a special relationship." However, it is often unclear how a special relationship is considered a relationship. Furthermore, some scholars define relationships as: particularistic ties; friendship; connection; exchange; social capital. These definitions describe some of the characteristics of relationships from different perspectives, but no single definition can summarize the whole picture of relationships.

I am going to define a relationship as a social interaction between two people. Person A has a problem and needs help from person B. If person B can directly help person A solve the problem, the process is complete. If person B cannot directly help, person B will go to person C, and a new process begins. In Chinese, relationship is a noun, and is usually preceded by a verb such as pull, get involved in, go, run, or set up. It is important to understand that a relationship is a dynamic process, not a static state. The English word relationship is static and does not necessarily mean a relationship, but only the basis for a relationship. The basis for a relationship refers to certain attributes that two people share. Some scholars believe that the existence of a relationship depends on the presence of a basis for a relationship. This view is incorrect. The basis for a relationship is a passive, objective existence, while a relationship is a proactive, dynamic process. The presence of a basis for a relationship between two people does not necessarily mean that they have a relationship or connection. For example, a divorced couple may still have multiple bases for a relationship, but if they no longer interact, the relationship no longer exists. Conversely, a relationship can occur between two strangers who have no basis for a relationship. However, compared to a process with a basis for a relationship, a process without a basis for a relationship takes longer to establish and sometimes requires the intervention of a third party.

Let me define psychological independence for you.

A person's independence includes both "behavioral independence" and "psychological independence." We often think we can live independently, but we are mistaken.

Let's be clear: people who are not psychologically independent are still just someone else's possession, no matter how capable they are in life. Psychological independence means separating your reason and emotion and separating yourself from others.

True independence is not leaving home after the age of 18 and going off on your own. It is not being able to do everything on your own. It is the ability to take responsibility for your own life. It is the ability to love yourself in relationships. It is the ability to maintain a clear self-awareness. The road to psychological independence is not easy. But it is the only way to become a complete person. And it is the only way to enjoy more happiness and beauty.

A psychologically independent person will come to understand the truth: we are born alone, no one can truly understand another person, and there is no such thing as possessing someone because to possess is to lose. A psychologically independent person understands that it is precisely because others do not need to be nice to us that we have a reason to be grateful.

We must trust that others will not deceive us. We must persevere because we can leave.

Connecting with yourself is a kind of relationship—and it's just as important as connecting with the outside world.

Some people retreat from the world and live a reclusive life. Those who can do so for a long time are like experts. They are not comparable to Zhuge Liang, who was invited by Liu Bei to come out of his thatched cottage three times.

People who avoid the world and live in seclusion are not without relationships. Their relationships are not simply or superficially connected to the outside world. They are able to connect well with themselves, to be alone and enjoy being alone. This is how one endures loneliness. People are social animals. If they live alone every day without interacting with outsiders, they will probably be unable to bear it after a long time. However, hermits are very good at entertaining and enjoying themselves.

There are many ways to be a recluse. As the saying goes, "A small recluse hides in the mountains, while a great recluse hides in the city." Living alone at home for many years is also a way of being a recluse. However, with the Internet now so widely accessible, I know what I have to do at home alone. Generally speaking, a writer may be a recluse at home writing.

I hope this helps, question asker. The world and I love you!

Hello, question asker. I believe you are a thoughtful individual who enjoys observing the essence of things and has some interesting philosophical ideas.

It is thought that humans originated from hominids, gradually evolving from unconscious lower animals to freeing their hands and learning to walk upright. It seems likely that this process was not just one hominid that achieved it, but a group, several groups, or even the evolution of the species. This evolution could be said to be the result of various relationships.

The process of a human being coming into the world is also a relationship. It could be said that hundreds and thousands of sperm compete with each other to develop, gradually dividing from a single cell into the various organs of an adult and developing into a complete individual.

From the moment of birth, each of us is born into a relationship. These relationships with our parents, grandparents, and siblings are formed naturally and organically. While they are based on family affection and blood ties, they need not be deliberately nurtured. Over time, as we live and grow up, these relationships gradually become deeper.

As you grow up, you will have playmates, and good playmates will become friends, childhood friends, girlfriends, classmates, teacher-student relationships, neighbors, and some relationships in your parents' circle. These relationships are developed over time.

As you grow up and enter the workforce, you will likely find yourself needing to navigate relationships with colleagues. These relationships may have been cultivated deliberately due to certain needs you have identified.

I wonder if I might ask why we need relationships. For example, in primitive society, it might be easy for a person to kill a rabbit, but there are not only rabbits in the forest, there are also jackals, tigers and leopards. What should you do if you encounter them?

If you are in a situation where your survival is at risk, you may start to consider forming a relationship with others in order to increase your chances of survival. This is not only a human instinct, but also one that can be observed in animals.

I would be interested to hear your thoughts on this.

It might be thought that hermits and people who stay at home for a long time are disconnected from relationships. However, it could be argued that they simply enter into other relationships. People who live in seclusion in the mountains and forests, for example, have normal needs, such as clothing, food, shelter, and transportation. It could be said that they accomplish these needs on their own, or that someone else carries the burden for them and creates a paradise for them. The same could be said of people who stay at home for a long time.

A person may have to face all kinds of difficulties and make various choices, some active and some passive. While the power of a person is limited and cannot necessarily overcome social relationships, we can hold onto our inner selves, believe in ourselves, choose what is available, and live out our unique selves.

I'm not sure if this is helpful, but I wish you well!

Greetings. I extend to you a 360-degree embrace.

This is a classic problem, and a similar question was posed recently.

In examining the concept of relationships, it becomes evident that many individuals tend to conceptualize these connections in a narrow manner, focusing on specific relationships with other individuals. It is, therefore, essential to be precise in defining the nature of these relationships. For instance, the formation of a friendship or romantic partnership necessitates the presence of a friend or partner, respectively. Even in the context of professional relationships, the establishment of a colleague dynamic hinges on the fulfillment of a professional role.

It can be asserted that only then can one claim a relationship with others.

It can be argued that relationships can be divided into two distinct categories: concrete and non-specific abstract.

It can be reasonably assumed that, like many Japanese otaku, those who live alone and never leave the house are not actually disconnected from other people. It is obvious that even if one lives alone, one is connected to other people because one needs water and electricity to buy food.

The cultivation of vegetables, from the initial planting in the field to their eventual harvest and delivery to consumers, requires the input of farmers and the use of agricultural machinery. Similarly, the application of fertilizers to enhance soil fertility is a crucial aspect of modern agriculture, and the production of these inputs is also a related economic activity.

The Russia-Ukraine conflict is also a matter of concern to the general public. As evidenced by the current situation in Africa, the inability to export has had a significant impact on global food production.

In summary, contemporary society necessitates survival. Despite one's perception of isolation, the fundamental elements of one's environment are inextricably linked to the broader social and economic system.

It is evident that this kind of relationship is highly abstract and impersonal, and thus provides minimal emotional value. A basic classification of the value we seek from others can be divided into three categories: sexual value, resource value, and emotional value.

Intimate relationships are the only relationships that provide these three values simultaneously. Consequently, individuals who effectively manage their marriages tend to live longer. Even if a marriage is managed in a mediocre manner, married individuals tend to live longer than singles.

As previously stated, abstract relationships do not necessitate maintenance, and in the majority of cases, the only requisite action is the payment of the requisite fee.

Another relationship that is often overlooked is the relationship with oneself. One's self-perception, as well as one's perception of others, society, and so forth, collectively shape one's inner world.

The inner world is sufficiently rich even in the absence of external stimuli. Introspection, the process of self-reflection, allows for communication with the inner self.

In regard to introspection, there is a type of person who is especially adept at it: the writer. Each writer possesses a unique inner world, a realm of imagination that is limitless and unrestricted.

In contemporary times, it is frequently asserted that the Marvel Universe was devised by a collective of individuals. A similar assertion can be made regarding the magical world in the Harry Potter series, which was created by J.K. Rowling.

In this sense, myths and legends are created by a group of people who engage in introspective communication with their inner world.

To illustrate, in the cinematic work The Shawshank Redemption, there is a scene in which the protagonist, Andy, is placed in solitary confinement. The setting is a dark prison cell devoid of light, timekeeping devices, and auditory stimuli, rendering it entirely isolated from the external environment. The other inmates speculate on Andy's fate, wondering whether he will survive and whether his sanity will be compromised.

However, Andy emerged unscathed. When the others inquired about his method, he indicated that it resided within his own mind.

Indeed, he was engaged in a form of internal dialogue, encompassing the characters, ideologies, music, and literature that occupied his mind.

Individuals who reside alone for an extended period of time may also lead a relatively simple lifestyle. It is probable that they possess a rich inner world and are capable of maintaining harmony with their inner selves. They may not always seek external sources for activities and pursuits.

Many individuals experience feelings of anxiety and boredom when they lack meaningful activities. In response, they may seek social interaction or engage in passive forms of entertainment, such as watching television while scrolling through their phones. However, the more they consume media, the less engaging it becomes, and they may find themselves uncertain about how to occupy their time without it.

How might these issues be addressed? It is this author's opinion that the solution lies in an engagement with reading and thinking.

It is therefore recommended that one should read as much as possible. In addition, one should endeavour to develop one's own perspective on life, world view and values. It is also important to consider one's own thoughts and feelings, as well as those of others.

In regard to the concept of psychological independence, it can be posited that it encompasses a number of key attributes. These include an understanding of one's own identity, the capacity to empathise with others, the ability to comprehend and accept differences, self-appreciation, the capacity to reconcile with oneself, and the ability to reconcile with the external world.

These criteria are likely to be the following:

It is essential to gain an understanding of oneself and to embrace one's own identity.

One must be able to accept others and get along with them.

It is essential to confront reality and to accept it.

One should embrace life and find joy in one's work.

The individual is capable of regulating and managing their emotional state in a positive manner.

Personality integrity and harmony

An IQ score of 80 or above is indicative of normal intelligence.

Psychological behavior is subject to the characteristics associated with an individual's age.

It is therefore recommended that you allocate time to reading and reflection, with a view to developing your own inner world.

Let us proceed, Olly.

I am a psychological counselor who experiences depressive episodes and periods of positive affect. I extend my love and appreciation to the world.

Hello, I'm Firefly!

"Will we die if we don't have relationships?" I'm more interested in how you feel when you ask this question.

It's important to remember that even if we choose to live a reclusive life now, we won't die because we have no relationships. The idea that "if you have no relationships, you will die" is a bit extreme, but it's not the whole story!

And here's another fascinating fact! Without relationships, newborn babies may very well die. Why? Because newborn babies must rely on others to survive.

You said, "If everyone dislikes you, there would be no interpersonal relationships and we would not be able to survive." I would love to know who exactly is meant by "everyone." Interpersonal relationships are the most amazing psychological relationships between people, including parent-child relationships, friendships, spousal relationships, school friendships, etc., as well as the relationship between you and me. In answering this question, I have formed a relationship with you, and it's been a blast!

Relationships are the connections between people, and they're a wonderful thing! If we believe in the principle of "the world and I love you," it's clear that not everyone dislikes someone. In this world, there must be someone who has a relationship with you and even sincerely loves you!

In order to survive better, human beings have developed amazing cities-states since ancient times, which are now incredible societies. In society, there is a wonderful division of labor, exchange, reciprocity, and win-win situations. As you said, people are social animals as a result of evolution, and it's a great thing!

But the great news is that we don't have to maintain relationships to stay alive. We need relationships because they make us happier!

If a relationship causes you stress, it probably isn't a healthy one. But don't worry! You don't have to force yourself.

Now, let's dive into the fascinating topic of psychological independence! This is an essential aspect of life for each of us. I believe psychological independence is about having a complete and authentic self. It's about being independent and free in your thoughts, not living to satisfy other people's expectations, and allowing other people to live their lives on their own terms, not to satisfy my expectations.

The fantastic concept of "issue separation" is mentioned in the brilliant book "The Courage to Be Disliked." In a relationship, we can absolutely distinguish whether something is our issue or not! If someone doesn't like you, that's their issue.

Good night! Have a great one!

Good night! Have a great day!

The question is posed by the following individual: Good morning.

Humans exist in both a state of interdependence and self-reliance. The process of establishing a sense of well-being within oneself is an ongoing exploration of one's life. During this journey, it is common to experience doubt, confusion, and a lack of direction. However, these challenges serve as catalysts for reflection and action, ultimately leading to the discovery of a personally fulfilling state of being.

A relationship can be defined as the mutual interaction between individuals in a process of attraction, rejection, cooperation, competition, and so forth, as expressed in their thoughts, feelings, and actions.

The foundation of relationships is built upon the principles of honesty, equality, self-worth protection, and exchange. The inherent differences in personality, attitude, and emotions between individuals will inevitably lead to either harmonious or discordant interactions, mutual attraction or mutual repulsion, and intimacy or alienation.

Psychological independence can be defined as the capacity to maintain a clear sense of self in interpersonal interactions, to harmonize emotional and rational processes, to discern one's own needs with clarity, and to resist the influence of external factors. It entails the development of an autonomous spiritual core and an affirmation of one's self-worth.

It is important to note, however, that a common misconception is that independence means relying solely on oneself, which can actually impede our ability to connect with others and facilitate personal growth. Psychological independence can be conceptualized as a form of gentle and moderate dependence.

Attaining a state of self-harmony that is well-suited to one's individual needs may prove to be a highly inspiring endeavour.

Good day, questioner. I am Wang Enhoo, a psychological counselor.

I would like to discuss your topics with you.

1 [Origin of relationships]

From an evolutionary perspective, humans are social animals who appear to need to connect and stay together in order to support each other and increase their chances of survival. This seems to be an instinctive need.

For an infant, the lack of a relationship can potentially have serious consequences, as it may not be able to meet its basic needs for satisfaction. In adulthood, relationships often involve the projection of unresolved personal issues onto others and the navigation of complex emotions through interactions with others.

2 [The nature of relationships]

It could be said that our relationships with others are not so much about the relationship between us and the other person, but more about the relationship between us and ourselves. These relationships may have come about as a result of how we got along with our parents during our formative years.

It is possible that what we see in a relationship may not be entirely real, but rather a reflection of our own projections onto the other person.

For instance, in an intimate relationship, we may find ourselves asking questions like, "Do you not love me?" or "Do you look down on me?"

Could I ask you whether you want to control me? If we look at these relationships in more detail, we can often see that they are based on a desire for love and recognition, as well as a need for control.

If we can become aware of our own projections in relationships, we may gradually be able to let go of our suspicions, attacks, accusations, and complaints towards others. Instead, we could become more aware of our own needs, express these needs in a way that the other person can accept, and obtain satisfaction in a reasonable way.

For instance, I would appreciate it if you could praise me and make me feel good. Once your needs have been met, it would be great if you could provide the other person with positive feedback and see what you can do for them.

It could be said that the relationship is mutually reinforcing.

3 [Relationship improvement]

It might be said that improving relationships starts with self-growth. It could be beneficial to take care of yourself, as this may result in a natural improvement in your relationships. It is possible that when we start to love ourselves, we will seek out people who love us and stay away from people who hurt us.

It might be helpful to keep an emotional awareness diary.

It might be helpful to keep a record of your emotions and the thoughts behind them to gain a deeper understanding of your inner world. If you feel ready to make changes, it could be beneficial to take some time to understand yourself better and identify your own coping strategies.

B. Read books

Reading can be a valuable way to gain insight into psychology, understand psychological processes, and learn some psychological techniques and methods. It is a cost-effective approach that many may find beneficial.

For example, you might consider reading works such as "Mr. Toad Goes to the Psychiatrist," "The You You Don't Know," "Fantasy is Reality," and "Family Wounds and Healing."

C. Psychological Support

Those experiencing significant emotional distress may benefit from the guidance of a psychiatrist, who can help them manage their symptoms with medication. For those seeking to enhance their relationships, growth groups can provide a supportive environment for personal growth. Individual counseling can also be a valuable tool for those striving to heal and move forward.

D. Healing in relationships

Every relationship, regardless of its quality, offers us the opportunity to gain insights into ourselves through the experiences of others. It is therefore beneficial to engage in relationships, to become more self-aware, to embrace our authentic selves, and to pursue personal growth.

Good day, I am Qu Huidong, a psychological counselor who utilizes visual aids to convey information.

After reviewing the question, it appears there is no direct correlation between death and the topic at hand. This has caused some confusion for the questioner, so I will address this portion with them directly.

The process of connecting with others is known as interpersonal communication. This encompasses both psychological and behavioral communication, including spiritual and material communication. Interpersonal relationships are psychological relationships between people formed on the basis of communication. They are manifested in the closeness or distance between the parties involved and reflect the psychological state of both parties seeking to meet social needs.

From the perspective of need theory, human needs can be divided into two categories: natural needs and social needs. Natural needs are essential for maintaining life and continuing the next generation, including eating, exercising, excreting, and sleeping. If basic biological needs are not met, it can result in death.

It is important to note that unmet social needs do not directly lead to death. However, they can indeed cause negative emotions such as pain, depression, and anxiety, and even trigger illness. Some people may engage in self-destructive behaviors like suicide because they suffer from depression. However, there are many underlying factors contributing to this, and it is not possible to equate the lack of human contact with death.

In 1996, the renowned Italian cave expert Maurici Montel conducted a notable experiment. He placed himself in a deep cave with sufficient provisions, including food and supplies to last him a year, over 100 movie discs, and some exercise equipment for recreation.

However, there was no one else in the cave except for himself. In 1997, Montel emerged from the cave.

After a year of living in isolation, Montel exhibited signs of cognitive decline, including dull eyes, pallor, and impaired verbal communication. His memory, social interaction abilities, and verbal expression skills all demonstrated notable deterioration.

In the tests of this cave expert, he was able to seek all kinds of stimulation in the cave, but there was no process of social interaction. This year of solitude resulted in various discomforts and physical and mental disabilities, which did not endanger his life, but demonstrated the importance of social interaction for human well-being.

Social interaction can help develop cognitive resilience by exercising cognitive skills such as memory and language. While this resilience cannot prevent brain changes, it can help people better cope with the effects of aging and delay the onset of dementia. While not everyone needs to become sociable, it is always advisable to socialize as much as one's personality allows.

The interpersonal distance between individuals can be chosen and adjusted to regulate the closeness of relationships. Interpersonal distance can be used to adapt relationships with others to suit specific needs. In other words, individuals do not need to force themselves to be sociable; they should be able to identify their own psychological needs and maintain an appropriate psychological distance to avoid feeling awkward.