If you feel too bound and helpless, what can you do?

Hello, I can imagine how difficult it must be for you in the current family atmosphere. I'm sure you would agree that losing the entrance exam is not what anyone wanted, but it seems that your parents were unable to face the result and expressed their anger at you as a result.

You have experienced some challenges that you may feel are unfair, so it would be helpful to give yourself a comforting hug. They have a different perspective on the use of electronic products, so they have taken them away from you.

Perhaps your parents could benefit from a little more tolerance themselves!

This is an area where there may be room for improvement and growth. They don't allow you to fail; it's their inner self that doesn't allow them to fail, and failure may bring them bad consequences (in their subconscious mind), and they project this worry onto you. After failing the midterm exam, it triggers their fear (anxiety) about your future.

It seems that they are unable to face the situation at this time, so they will behave as described above.

Your question shows that you are open to different possibilities and have already started to consider how to handle the situation with your parents. This demonstrates that you are a resilient child who can calmly seek help when needed.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider what you might do next and how you could do it.

After you have had a chance to reflect, it might be helpful to discuss your ideas with your parents in a calm and respectful manner. It's also important to listen to their opinions and consider all perspectives before making a decision.

Life is a long journey, and one exam failure does not necessarily determine your future. You are very brave, and I believe you will find your own way.

Hello, questioner. I can imagine that you must have been quite upset after failing the entrance exam. It's also possible that your parents didn't fully understand or respect your feelings, which might have made the situation feel even more challenging.

From your description, it seems that you would benefit from the ability to arrange your own time and use of electronic products in a way that suits you best.

"I feel somewhat trapped and would like to be more independent. Because I did not pass the high school entrance exam, my parents are sometimes disappointed with me. I occasionally become overwhelmed and cry, or I get angry for no apparent reason. In response, they admonish me for being emotional, take away my electronic devices, and completely isolate me from the outside world for a week. I am unable to contact anyone, and I feel helpless and depressed. What should I do?"

You are at a stage of adolescence, which is a time of self-awareness formation. At this time, you may wish to manage your time and allocate yourself, and you may feel that your parents should not interfere too much. In other words, you may want to be independent, but at this time, it may be challenging for you to be truly independent. After all, you are still a student, so to a certain extent, you may still need adult supervision and companionship. I can understand your feelings. As for what your parents should do, you may wish to consider communicating with them.

Perhaps you could tell them that this exam failure has been a particularly difficult setback for you. You might say that you feel bad inside and that you also hope that you can do well in the exams and then successfully enter the ideal school. Mom and Dad, I know that you have high expectations of me and that you also hope that I can do well in the exams because you want me to go to a good school and then have a bright future. Unfortunately, I failed the exams this time and let you down.

I must admit that I feel rather guilty about this. Perhaps you could try communicating with your parents more often and explaining your situation to them. I believe that they will understand.

With your parents' understanding, you can then communicate with them about the use of electronic products. You can agree with your parents on how many times you can play with electronic products, or how many hours a day you can play for. It would also be helpful to be able to control the time you spend using electronic products. This will also help you learn to be independent, which means learning to manage your time.

It is also worth noting that parents' methods may have their limitations. It is not always easy for parents to realise that you have now graduated from junior high school and are at this time of adolescence developing your own ideas. However, parents often have the best intentions, acting to ensure that you study well, have a better future and live a happy life. They may feel that they have fulfilled their mission and are content. However, it is possible that their methods are not quite appropriate. It can sometimes seem that parents still want to control you like when you were a child. They may hope to control you a little more now, but they may not realise that you are not happy. After failing the entrance exam, it is important to relax. Playing with electronic products may be one way for you to relax, or you can use your phone and computer to contact and communicate with classmates and friends.

In such a situation, it might be helpful to consider the following:

One possible solution could be to offer your assistance with some household chores. Many people find that doing housework is a rewarding way to devote themselves to a task, slow down their thoughts, and enjoy the process. It might also be the case that doing housework could lead to a greater appreciation for sex.

Another option to consider is going for a run every morning for about half an hour. This can help you release negative emotions, which you have described as depression. If you do this regularly, you may find that you feel more energetic and refreshed, and that your old self returns.

You might also consider meditation, such as cultivating self-confidence, as a way to help you recover from the failure of the exam.

Fourth, you might consider making a small summary yourself. Now that the middle school entrance exam is over, it's still important to pursue your learning journey. What knowledge points from the exam might you still need to master? And could a lack of confidence during the exam have contributed to your outcome?

Perhaps you could try to make up a little more knowledge in the time now, so that you can study more easily when school starts?

I hope my answer is helpful to you. I wish you the best!

Dear questioner, Hello!

You're feeling especially helpless, frustrated, and depressed right now. I get it. After failing the entrance exam, you were already in a bad mood and very sad. Instead of comforting and encouraging you, your parents were disappointed in you, which made you feel very broken.

You were really hoping that electronic products could help you relieve your depressed mood, but now even these have been confiscated, which makes you feel a little helpless. You now feel that you have achieved nothing, and you're feeling pretty depressed. It's clear that you're full of self-criticism, and you must be longing for yourself to change for the better, to gain your parents' approval, and to be free.

In fact, in our daily lives, we often hear self-criticism like this: "I'm a very suspicious person, and I always mess up relationships," "I always give up halfway through whatever I do, is there no hope for me?" and so on. But there is hope!

When we want to improve, we will subconsciously first identify our shortcomings and then criticize and eliminate them. But I have to say that this kind of self-critical improvement is really painful.

I've discovered the secret to painless improvement! It's all about embracing the five words that can transform us: the part of ourselves.

Using "parts" is a common and effective therapeutic technique in psychological counseling. When we find a problem in ourselves and want to solve it, we often can't see beyond it because we are too close to it. But there's no need to be discouraged! We can easily overcome this challenge by recognizing that we are not the problem itself.

When we realize that although problems exist, they are only part of us, it is like taking a step back to see ourselves, to see the parts other than the problems, and to see a more comprehensive self—and it's a great feeling!

So, how should we do it?

First, don't define yourself by your problems! Instead, try to describe your problematic behavior. For example, I did fail the entrance exam, and I have been feeling a bit down lately.

Second, tell yourself that the part of you with problematic behavior is only a part of you. For example, failing the entrance exam is only a part of you. You also did very well in elementary school on several occasions! Although you are a bit depressed now, you used to be very sunny!

Third, find and see the other parts of yourself. For example, I also have many behaviors that protect me, and there are also parts of me that like myself!

As you gradually become aware of the other parts of yourself, you'll be amazed at how your shortcomings, which have always troubled you in the past, will no longer seem so significant. You'll slowly begin to see a more complete, three-dimensional version of yourself! This process is not as painful as self-criticism and trying to eliminate shortcomings and find other parts of yourself. Instead, it is a gentle acceptance that can also give rise to a strong motivation to discover the other energies and resources you possess!

This passage really gets to the heart of the matter! It shows us that our whole selves are made up of more than just one part.

Not only do you have more than one part, but you are also defined by them! It's important to recognize that you are not defined by a particular part. The key is to perceive this in yourself. So, if you find yourself caught up in severe self-criticism and labeling yourself with a lot of negative labels, I have two incredible ways to help you find other parts of yourself!

The first thing you can do is ask a friend, family member, partner, or anyone else you trust to help you describe your situation and behavior from an outsider's perspective. They know us well, but they also have a certain distance from the problems we face, so they can see the other parts more clearly—and they're excited to help!

Second, you can also try something really fun! Draw that negative part and describe it. What's its name? What does it look like? What has it been through? And most importantly, what does it want to say to you?

When this part that bothers us is presented on paper or turned into a doll, we will discover that although it comes from me, it is not all of me. Every one of us has the opportunity to embrace our full selves, including all the different parts that make us who we are. We all have painful parts, powerless parts, and parts that want to give up. At the same time, we also have happy parts, parts of strength, and parts that persevere. We can choose to become better by allowing these different parts of ourselves to exist and focusing our energy on discovering the other parts of ourselves. I hope that we can all allow ourselves to be whole and see our wholeness.

I really hope my answer is helpful to you! And I wish you a happy life!