I'm 30 years old and have never been in love. Is that normal? I don't think there is love in my heart anymore. How can I adjust?

Each individual serves as a source of illumination, whether posing inquiries or offering responses. Words have the capacity to illuminate the hearts of many people, and this is a shared energy that unites us.

Good day. I am Xin Tan, and I am pleased to have this opportunity to engage in discourse on the subject of love and marriage. Many individuals aspire to experience a profound and passionate love in their lives. However, it appears that the absence of such love does not significantly impact our overall quality of life.

In the contemporary Internet age, the satisfaction of material needs is widespread, and AI intelligence has largely supplanted human capabilities in numerous domains. Consequently, an increasing number of individuals espouse a life outlook and a set of values centered on personal comfort.

1. The concept of "normal" standards for independent individuals is inherently subjective and cannot be defined by any single individual or entity.

The general public has established standards regarding age and marital status. For instance, the conventional wisdom is that a person should be thirty years old and established in their career before marrying, and that they should be forty years old without doubts about their future and their role in it. However, these standards do not apply universally. Some people never marry, while others marry and have children before reaching the legal age.

As previously stated, you are not experiencing anxiety because you have never been in love. Your feelings are considered "standard." If you are feeling pressure or emotions as a result of this, it would be considered abnormal.

The rationale for allowing questions on this forum is that individuals are shaped by their environment. It is not feasible to exist in isolation from society and groups. When examining one's circumstances, individuals often utilize the experiences of those around them as a reference point for understanding their own progress, pace, and objectives.

The life trajectory of each individual is unique. The experiences of others, such as life and death, parting, promotion, marriage, and children, may not necessarily be replicated in one's own life.

Therefore, it is not necessary to impose a particular course of action; rather, one should allow events to unfold naturally. This approach can also be regarded as a highly beneficial and tranquil way of life.

2. Attitudes and Views on Marriage

The assumption that marriage entails a loss of freedom and that children are a source of additional stress is a matter of weighing up the relevant factors based on one's values and feelings.

All phenomena possess duality.

To illustrate, the process of raising children can be inherently complex, yet it is also a source of immense joy and fulfillment to be involved in the birth and growth of a new life and to accompany your child on their journey. Similarly, while marriage does entail a certain degree of responsibility, it also provides a unique opportunity to experience love and care in a committed relationship.

As stated in "Fortress Besieged," individuals hold disparate views on marriage, both within and beyond the fortress. It is thus recommended that one adopt a more nuanced approach, whereby one can discern a more accurate representation of the truth and consequently enjoy a greater range of options.

Your current mindset is shaped by your current circumstances and experiences. As you age and gain more life experience, your views on marriage and family will likely evolve. Regardless of your marital status, it is important to embrace a mindset of enjoying life to the fullest without dwelling on regrets.

"You can enjoy things, but don't ask me to take responsibility." This mentality is analogous to a person who desires to consume eggs but is unable to accept that they originated from a chicken's oviduct.

It is my hope that the aforementioned has provided you with a new perspective, an expanded range of options, and that you will accept my love for you and the world.

Should you wish to continue the dialogue, you are invited to click on the "Find a coach" link, which can be found in the upper right-hand corner or at the bottom of the page. This will enable you to engage in further communication and growth with me on an individual basis.

Good day, question asker.

It appears that you are experiencing a conflict between a lack of motivation to engage in romantic relationships and a desire to pursue marriage at the earliest opportunity.

Conversely, you aspire to marriage at the earliest convenience, which engenders a sense of helplessness.

It would be interesting to ascertain whether you have considered the possibility that you are, in fact, quite perceptive and aware of your potential shortcomings in assuming responsibility.

This ultimately leads to a certain degree of apprehension when it comes to getting involved with a girl.

Furthermore, concerns about the ability to fulfill the responsibilities and obligations associated with marriage contribute to an overall sense of apprehension about the future.

It may be beneficial to engage in introspective reflection on the following:

At what point did you cease to be motivated to fall in love? Alternatively, have you never attempted it and are unable to progress beyond this stage?

It is also possible that a specific personality trait has contributed to your cautious and timid approach in social interactions with the opposite sex.

It is also possible that a more isolated defense mechanism, which may have been adopted as a result of a more demanding upbringing, is preventing him from interacting with girls.

This has resulted in the current challenging situation.

The subject under discussion is as follows:

From a pluralistic perspective, an individual may choose to live a self-contained life or even to marry as many times as the law allows.

The practice of remarrying on multiple occasions

From the standpoint of traditional marriage values,

There are three major forms of disrespect for one's parents: the greatest of these is the lack of descendants. It is expected that a man should get married when he is old enough, and a woman should do so when she is old enough. Only when a person has completed a traditional marriage

Before one can be considered to have completed growth in the sense of a mature personality.

Therefore, the act of marriage signifies a male's transition into manhood and represents a significant step in an individual's personal growth and development.

Maturity is a key concept in this discussion.

It would be beneficial for you to consider the following:

What specific type of fear is it that prevents you from pursuing a romantic interest?

Your lack of initiative and affection indicates that your apprehension is discernible to others.

I am counselor Yao, and I will continue to provide you with support and care.

Hello, my friend. I have never been in love. I think it has to do with the pressure in society nowadays. We grow up fast. We have our own thoughts, awareness, and concepts. We have aspirations. It is normal to feel discomfort in society. It is normal to have setbacks. We must move forward. We must grow up in adversity. We must temper our own inertia. We must temper our own state of mind. We are burdened with responsibilities and obligations. We don't have time to fall in love. We don't have time to deal with love. We have opened up ways to survive. We can live our own lives. We can enjoy the sunshine. We can live our own lives. We can enjoy comfort.

Money and age are two factors that affect finding a partner. People may consider economic conditions. Some resist, while others are deterred by psychological reasons. Many people born in the 1980s are already single. They eat, drink, and have fun every day. You say you want to talk but don't want to. This causes you to delay getting married. Marriage has nothing to do with age. If you meet someone you like, you're all of marriageable age. Getting married sooner isn't necessarily better. Everyone has their own mind and habits. Some say that before they met you, they were just reading about the world. After they met you, they started living it. We've thought about other people's different worlds. Who can control it? I feel that the questioner should understand these truths. They should go out and try. If it fails, it's not a problem. Some people have talked many times and succeeded. Every time you find a partner, you grow. Don't think too much.

Love will come. It's not the same for everyone.

We can't change anything. The key is to adapt. We must face and bear this pressure, but we can decide whether to sleep, drink water, etc.

To live with less pressure, rest more, be happier, and more joyful. This way, you will have enough energy and your stress will be less.

Tiredness and stress are a result of your own actions. A lack of motivation will lead to mental weakness. You have a sense of responsibility, and we accept that this society is harsh. However, this is reality, and we cannot escape it. My advice is to break through your own barriers, face your challenges, and embrace the rewards of success.

Life has ups and downs, but it's not too bad. If you want to find someone, you will. If you don't meet someone, there's no need to rush. You deserve someone who knows how to cherish you. I hope you meet someone who understands you and is good to you. I hope you're happy and healthy.