I'm afraid my parents will say I'm not doing a good job, that I'm not doing it right, that I'm miserable, that I've done something wrong again.

Hello, question asker.

From your writing, it seems that you may be experiencing some feelings of uncertainty about yourself and others.

You mentioned that you often feel afraid when you do something because you're worried your parents will say it's not right or good. It seems like your parents provided a lot of feedback when you were growing up, and sometimes that feedback seemed contradictory. It seems like your parents didn't always agree with each other, and they also seemed to be inconsistent. And all this inconsistency made you wonder what the so-called "right" thing to do was when you were doing something.

You said, "I've gradually grown up, and I do my best to complete whatever tasks the boss assigns me. I try to do my job well, but I'm afraid to do things differently for fear of disappointing the boss. There are also things I'd like to do in other areas, but I'm unsure how to approach them. After a long time, I'm still not sure what I really want to do, except that I feel there's something I can't put into words."

It is understandable that when you are uncertain about your own feelings and desires, you may feel confused and unsure of yourself. Navigating the complexities of the human experience can be challenging, and it's natural to feel uncertain at times.

If you would like to become clearer, you might like to consider deliberately practicing your self-awareness first, finding your inner desires and needs, and using audio exercises to practice mindfulness and improve your awareness and self-awareness. You may also find it helpful to seek the support of a professional counselor. Throughout life, we are all in the process of finding ourselves and figuring out what we really want. It is perfectly normal if you are not sure at the moment. Just stay aware and reflective, gain more knowledge, and summarize yourself, and you will gradually become clearer.

I wish you the best!

Hello, dear question asker! You asked, "I'm afraid that my parents will say that I'm not doing a good job and that I'm in the wrong. I'm so miserable, what have I done wrong?"

I just wanted to say, well done for being aware of your fear of being told off by your parents. It's a great start! Now let's have a look at your question.

It's totally normal to feel afraid when you're doing something and your parents might not approve. As you grow up, you learn to do what your leaders ask and try your best to do a good job. It's the same for other people, but they're too afraid to speak up because they're worried their leaders won't be happy with them. There are also things they want to do on their own, but they're too shy to say so.

Over time, you might even lose track of what your heart truly desires. You'll just feel this indescribable feeling.

Do you know why it's so scary to be told by parents or leaders that you've done something wrong?

It's totally normal to feel scared, worried, nervous, and anxious when faced with negative comments from parents and leaders. It's like they've caught you doing something wrong, and you're filled with a tremendous amount of pain and psychological distress. It's also normal to feel a lack of happiness or excitement when they give you positive feedback. It can feel like your emotions are in their hands and you have no control over them.

Do you know why? It's because your subconscious mind is so eager to be a good child and good employee in their eyes that you cannot, may not, and dare not let them down. You have a set of standards for being a good child and good employee in your heart, and that standard is their mouth.

There are so many of them, and each one may have different expectations and demands of you. If you have to satisfy each one of them, you might feel a bit overwhelmed, right? When their standards for judging you are inconsistent, your heart may easily become conflicted, contradictory, entangled, divided, and torn. In this situation, your heart will definitely feel difficult, painful, and uncomfortable.

Be the master of your emotions, take charge of your own life, and be responsible for your own life. You've got this!

It's so important to take control of the choices you make in life. Don't leave the choice of your life entirely in their hands! You might think that avoiding mistakes or exerting too much effort by doing what they expect and demand is the easier option. But it's still your life, and you must make choices for yourself.

From the above analysis, you already know the reason why you are afraid of what they say. Then you should try to let go of the pursuit of their good comments. When making a choice or doing something, ask yourself more often what you really want to choose and how you want to do the task at hand. After you find the answer within yourself, just follow your inner voice. The voices from the outside world are too noisy, so listen more to your own heart. You've got this!

You've got this! You just need to be the master of your emotions, take charge of your own life, and be responsible for your own life.

I really hope my answer is helpful for you!

I love you, world! And I love you too!

Hello, question asker!

After carefully reading the question,

Self-growth is directly related to the environment of the original family, which affects one's response and interactions in the workplace.

I have analyzed the situation and made the following suggestions:

1. The influence of the original family is undeniable.

The original family has a profound impact on a person's life. It shapes their personality, influences their personal growth, affects their intimate relationships, and plays a significant role in their emotional interactions.

As the original poster described, "I'm scared of what my parents might say if I do something wrong or bad."

This is undoubtedly the result of inappropriate words or actions from parents, which have caused such tension and anxiety, and instilled beliefs of low self-esteem that have accompanied you since childhood.

2. Occupation is a continuation.

As we grow up, our cognitive structures, interpersonal interaction styles, interests, hobbies, dreams, needs, and even some unfulfilled childhood plots that we formed at an early age all have a significant impact on our careers.

They are causing this tension and anxiety, and they are perpetuating low self-esteem.

The questioner is afraid to do it because they're afraid their leader will be unhappy with them. They're also afraid to say it because they don't know what they want to do.

3. Take responsibility yourself.

The questioner can blame their family of origin if they want, but the responsibility for their own growth and development lies with them alone.

We can find fault with our parents for the mistakes they made in the past, but this is of no use to our growth.

If you keep dwelling on the past and reliving the pain, you are wasting your life and being irresponsible with yourself.

The original poster and we must all realize that while our original family has an influence on us, it is not decisive.

4. Focus on self-cultivation.

The questioner must also realize that every mature person must understand that life is a process of self-cultivation. It is difficult for someone who always blames their family to truly grow up.

Each of our lives is a process of self-cultivation.

If you want to become more mature, you must let go of your obsession with your original family. This is also letting go of yourself, and it is a lifelong lesson for each of us.

I am confident that the above will be of some help to you.

Good morning, host. I am contacting you today to inquire about a matter that requires your attention. I hope this message finds you well. I am smiling.

After reviewing your description, I have a better understanding of the question you wish to ask. I would like to extend my support and encouragement in the four-dimensional space.

From my perspective, the issue you raised is largely a result of the influence of your family of origin on your current interpersonal interactions. Consequently, you have developed these thoughts.

I extend a warm embrace to you.

The fear of causing disapproval by your actions was first observed during your formative years in your relationship with your parents. This early conditioning has left a profound impact on you. Consequently, as you progress in your professional career, you will likely encounter similar dynamics with your superiors.

Due to concerns about making mistakes and failing, individuals may hesitate when making decisions. Additionally, the fear of being disliked by others can lead to the suppression of personal preferences.

Naturally, you also wish to avoid causing offence as much as possible. Consequently, you choose to gradually lose sight of your true self and suppress some of your genuine thoughts and feelings. You are aware that these true thoughts and feelings will not be accepted by others and that they may even result in you being disliked by others because of them. As a result, you begin to rarely express your thoughts and feelings.

In this regard, you can gradually make the necessary adjustments. It is important to understand that it is not a question of your overall worth, but rather that you have on occasion overlooked your genuine thoughts and feelings. This is because you have also considered the opinions of others too much, and as a result, neglected your own needs.

It is therefore important to value your own thoughts and feelings, rather than repressing them. This will help you to manage your own well-being and avoid becoming too tired. It is also important to put your feelings and thoughts first, as you are the most important person in this situation. Please do not try to please others at the expense of your own well-being.

In this regard, I would also like to recommend the book The Courage to Be Disliked, which I believe will be of benefit to you in the present. This book will help you to understand yourself better and to improve your interpersonal interactions.

I would like to take this opportunity to extend my personal regards to you and the world.

Best regards,

Hi there. From what you've said, it seems like you're feeling confused and helpless. It sounds like you're struggling to understand your own thoughts and have been doing things based on what others think you should do.

I'm a psychological counselor, and I'd like to share my understanding from a psychological perspective.

Your personality traits should be closely linked to your growth experience and the way you communicate with your parents. You've been a good child and a good employee because you understand things and listen to your leaders. You ignore yourself and don't know what you're thinking. In psychology, there's a type of personality that caters to others or pleases others. This type of personality is formed when you're denied, ignored, or criticized by your parents. You can't see the value of your own existence, so you've formed a type that others like. You only feel the value of your existence when you're affirmed, but it's very painful when you're ignored or belittled. A sense of worthlessness can cause sensitivity and panic in interpersonal relationships. How do you adjust?

First, you need to understand yourself better. Ask yourself: Who am I? What do I need? What do I want?

What do I want? This is a conversation with yourself.

Second, you need to learn to express your needs. It doesn't matter what others think, you shouldn't feel bad about rejection. That's how others feel. Expressing your needs in words is also a way to show yourself that you need to grow.

Finally, if you're looking for resources, it's probably because you're feeling insecure and worried about being hurt. The good news is that there are plenty of resources out there that can help you grow, including your parents, good friends, and leaders you can trust. These relationships can also help you learn to express yourself, which is an important part of your journey.

I love you, and I think the world loves you, too. But most of all, you need to love yourself! I'm here to help with my professional knowledge!

Hello, It's like seeing a friend in person when you read their words.

From what you've said, it's clear you're aware of what's going on with you. You're looking for help to figure out what's wrong, right?

Let's talk about what's going on with you based on what you've told me.

At the start of your description, you said that you often do things because you're worried your parents will say you didn't do them right or well. From that, I get the impression that you care a lot about the quality of your work because you're doing it to please the people watching you. So you don't allow yourself to have the slightest flaw in the process of completing things. Is that what you're aiming for when you do things, and is that what you're setting for yourself?

However, under this kind of high-pressure sense of purpose, I know you've also discovered something is wrong. You mentioned in your description that "I have slowly grown up and gone along with the work assigned by my leader, trying to complete it as best as I can. For other people, it is the situation described above, but I dare not do it, for fear that the leader will be unhappy if I do it. However, there are also places I want to go in other places, but I dare not say it. After a long time, even I don't know what I really want to do in my heart, I just feel that there is something I can't express."

I'd like to take a moment to share my thoughts on this.

First of all, it's normal to have high expectations of yourself when you're starting something new. When you first start something, you expect yourself to be perfect. But in the process of starting to do it, we can't predict what will happen. So to reduce the pressure on our hearts, we usually lower the standard for completing things. When the standard for completion is lowered, we're comfortable, but the other group of people who are watching us complete the task may not be comfortable. However, we don't work just to wait for a group of people to evaluate us. Besides, everyone has a different standard for the completion of work. So who should we listen to? My dear, it's difficult for us to satisfy everyone. So I know you want to do a good job and I know you work hard enough, but at the right time, taking a break can really be the fourth option at work. (Work options ABCD: A. quality assurance; B. quantity assurance; C. quality and quantity assurance; D. take a break)

Second, you can set specific goals for each day, but they have to be realistic. Once you've finished your daily work goals, make sure you get some rest.

If you're struggling to feel a sense of worth from your work, try developing and strengthening your new skills and building up the confidence to quit at any time.

I just want to say, honey, that you've done everything you could before you came to ask for help. It's not easy, and you've worked hard!

Try to become the person you want to be. You have the perseverance in you to make it happen, but don't use it to burn yourself out. It's not worth it.

That's all for now. Thanks, and have a great day!

Hello, questioner.

From your description, it's clear you're unsure of your needs, don't know what you want, and don't know what your own choice is. I understand how you feel.

I used to be like that too. The main reason is that we lack our own opinions and principles, and we lack a firm desire to do something. Or our sense of boundaries is too vague, so when others say something, we feel that they are right, but in our hearts we don't have our own standards and reasonable ideas for doing things. This is why this happens.

Here's how to solve it:

[1] Learn to cultivate your own thinking skills.

First, you must decide what this means to you. What are your principles and standards? You must establish your own system of values. This will allow you to make your own decisions and determine your own thoughts about things.

[2] Establish your own boundaries and opinions.

In this situation, it is crucial to understand that everyone's affairs are their own and that they are solely responsible for themselves. Because everything we do is related to our own lives and has nothing to do with others, excessive infringement of boundaries by others is unacceptable. It will not only harm us but also force us to lose sight of our principles and opinions. Therefore, I advise you to first identify your own boundaries and then determine your own opinions.

[3] Find what you want.

Finding what you want may be difficult because everyone experiences moments of confusion when faced with a choice. It's essential to understand that there are things we can do if we want to, and there are things we must do. For instance, your work and your area of responsibility must be clear. What are we responsible for in everything? This approach may not satisfy everyone, but you should do your best. Everyone's abilities are different, so there's no one-size-fits-all solution.

[4] Build self-confidence and cultivate inner strength.

If you lack inner strength, you are vulnerable to others' boundary violations. It's time to recognize that you are not confident inside and that you may also be afraid of being rejected. Everyone will be rejected at some point, and rejection is not the end of the world. Use this rejection to become aware of yourself, build your self-confidence, see your strengths and weaknesses, actively correct your shortcomings, and cultivate your inner spiritual strength. Then you will become brave and know what to do more firmly.

This process is not easy. But it is worth it. By establishing an inner self, completing the relevant systems that stabilize the self, believing in oneself, and enhancing one's inner strength, you can actually help yourself know what kind of choice to make.

I am confident that the above opinions will be helpful to you.

Hello, question asker.

I'm sorry to see your question. I can understand why you feel inferior and depressed, living up to other people's expectations and worrying about what they think. I read an article by a teacher named Zi Fei that might help. It's called "Why are Chinese children particularly prone to anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, perfectionism, and psychological exhaustion?"

The questioner can find this article on the official account and take a look through it.

I'm going to share with you some of the content that I've discussed with the questioner.

The author noticed in her work with clients that many people who are perfectionists or have obsessive personality tendencies have similar experiences. They were left with their grandparents when they were babies and then went back to their parents when they were kids. When they were with their grandparents, they were often spoiled or over-cared for. When they went back to their parents, they faced a strange and strict educational environment. To cope with this, they became overly rigorous and obedient.

As a result, these individuals develop a contradictory character that hides exaggerated expectations and a magical imagination under an appearance of caution, strictness, and obedience. Excessive rigour is actually a suppression of the exaggerated impulses and magical imagination within.

For folks without experience in foster care, the internal conflict caused by a family environment that's too lenient and a strict school education can also have similar results.

From what the questioner has said, it seems that he hasn't been able to express his true thoughts since childhood. This pattern of interaction has continued after work. Long-term repression has made him numb to the point of being unable to express himself. In the book The Ladder to Heaven by the child psychiatrist Winnicott, the author mentions that certain experiences in the development process...

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This can lead to physical, emotional, social, and cognitive symptoms similar to those experienced after extreme traumatic events.

You've now identified your inner conflict, which is a great start. If left unresolved, these issues can have serious consequences. Without addressing them, you won't be able to be true to yourself. This can lead to a loss of mental and emotional wellbeing, as well as physical health issues.

[Become your true self]

Ms. Wu Zhihong has a series of videos on Bilibili called "Become a Better Version of Yourself." I watched them all in one sitting and gained a deeper understanding of myself, the workings of the world, the nature of interpersonal relationships, and the importance of being true to yourself. Ms. Wu has a book called "Have a Life Where You Call the Shots." She explains the true self and the false self this way: the true self is built around one's own feelings; the false self is built around the feelings of others.

Specifically, a person with a true self respects their own feelings and doesn't make things difficult for themselves. A person with a false self automatically seeks out the feelings of others and revolves around them, living for the sake of others. Is this the current state of the questioner? Because of the fear of conflict, they have to hide and suppress their true thoughts.

It seems like the original poster wants to express the real meaning of their thoughts, which is to let go of the urge to attack. Maybe the original poster's family of origin was more worried about the destructive power of children's desire to attack, but that desire is the very essence of life. This essence can become creativity and enthusiasm, which is white energy, or it can become destructive and hate, which is black energy.

It's evident that the questioner's black energy is trapped inside him. Unable to express it outwardly, he started to attack himself internally.

[Relationships are everything]

To heal the wounds of childhood, you have to get back into a relationship and become yourself again. It's not just about being self-sufficient, but also having stable, objective, and intimate relationships. We need a relationship where individuals can locate themselves again and again. Through the reactions, awareness, and clarification of relationships, we can help establish a stable sense of self. Unfortunately, it is difficult for us to establish such relationships with those around us, so I suggest that the questioner go to a counseling room as soon as possible. A sustained and stable counseling relationship is the most powerful support for transformation.

I grew up with the expectations and judgments of others. I was a good child, and I always put the feelings of others first. This repression finally exploded in the spring of my second year of university. I received psychiatric treatment, but I missed psychotherapy. It took 20 years to grow up, and it was really hard. I started studying psychological listening in July 2022 and gained in-depth exposure to psychological expertise. I slowly understood and healed myself. The questioner is still young. You must heal your inner child as soon as possible so that you don't waste your youth in sadness and pain.

I'm Zhang Huili, a psychological counselor. I hope my answer helps. I suggest you go to the counseling room as soon as possible to heal your inner wounds, say goodbye to misfortune, and cut off intergenerational transmission.

This fear has been around for a long time and has been repeated many times. It's similar to a stigma in the body, out of respect for parental authority, and out of many specific things in the growth process. When I was young, I could only choose to retreat in the face of authority and overwhelming power. I could only choose self-doubt or even denial.

We all learn by copying others, and we learn what's right and wrong from our parents or other adults who teach us. It's so important for parents to show their children what it means to be a good person by being good examples for them to follow. Children don't have a choice about following their parents' rules, and it's only natural for them to look up to their parents and be afraid of them.

It can be really unsettling when we're not sure what's right or wrong, or what's good or bad. It's just part of human nature to feel this way!

There are so many things in the world, and each one is different. Even if two things seem similar, they're really not. You can never know or understand all of other people's views and standards. If you try to, you'll always be in a state of anxiety, unsure and afraid. There will never be an answer or a right answer, and the result will always be that it could be right or wrong, good or bad.

So, what do you want? We all want different things, and that's okay! The outcome is never known, and it's impossible to meet everyone's expectations. So, why not do something for yourself? Why not do what you want? And why not let your own judgments and standards prevail?

The result is that it may be good or bad in the eyes of others, but at least it is what you want. It may not be what others want, but at least it conforms to your own standards of good and bad. And at least you have given your own will in specific matters. At least you can find the strength and reasons to support yourself when making decisions or when you are afraid.

Leadership is a serious unequal interpersonal relationship, just like parenting. It's easy to see how fear and dependence on authority can continue. You're not a child anymore, and a leader is not your parent. But no matter who the other person is, it's important to have your own position and standards for the world, for life, and for specific things. Having a model or path for how to think about and deal with them is helpful.

If you're ignoring something, it might be yourself.

I really do wish you all the happiness in the world!

Greetings, question asker! I am an individual with considerable experience and a somewhat limited capacity for new information.

I can empathize with the sentiments expressed by the original poster. I am reluctant to advocate for my own desires due to the prospect of parental disapproval, the possibility of rejection by the other party, and the fear of being rejected myself.

It is not uncommon for individuals to perceive their own performance as inadequate due to past experiences of rejection. This can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy where the individual's subconscious belief in their inadequacy becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

A colleague informed me recently that she had been working with a supplier for 22 years and had signed a contract with them for one year. However, her manager recently requested that she sign a contract for 2013 within two weeks. She stated that it was impossible to sign the contract within the given timeframe, yet her manager's deadline was only two weeks.

She was compelled to set aside all other considerations and focus on the task of signing the contract. She contacted me yesterday, her voice imbued with a note of subdued elation, to inform me that she had only two remaining contracts to sign and that she was astonished at her own achievement. It is therefore important to have confidence in oneself.

It is accurate to conclude that individuals are often intimidated by the prospect of parental disapproval. However, it is crucial to recognize that we have matured and developed our own unique perspectives and discernment. The counsel and conclusions that our parents offer are shaped by their accumulated knowledge and experience. However, it is imperative to acknowledge that their perspectives may not always align with absolute truth. Consequently, it is essential to refrain from questioning one's own beliefs and decisions.

One may attempt to communicate with one's parents and gain their understanding, thereby increasing one's sense of ease. Should one's parents prove to be correct, it may be possible to effect change.

However, if one anticipates criticism, it may prove discouraging to embark on the endeavor. It is therefore recommended to engage in a process of self-reflection and analysis regarding one's own decision-making and the evaluation of parental opinions, without succumbing to the influence of judgment.

I have had two leaders who have made two significant contributions to my professional development. The first leader provided constructive feedback, noting that I exhibited a high level of honesty but lacked the skills to advocate for myself effectively. They advised me to develop these competencies in anticipation of future career transitions. The second leader offered a different perspective on learning, emphasizing that it is an individual responsibility rather than a passive process.

It is imperative to develop one's own understanding and persistence.

Hello, question asker!

After reading your question, I really understand your dilemma. Let me give you a warm hug first, okay?

I can see that you're facing a few challenges.

1. It's totally normal to feel afraid that your parents won't be happy with the result when you do something.

2. When you grow up, you listen to the arrangements of your leaders, worrying that they won't be satisfied with the results or the way you do things.

3. You also want to express your own thoughts and do things according to your own wishes, while trying to meet other people's expectations.

Over time, they've gotten used to pleasing others and now find themselves in a bit of a pickle when it comes to expressing themselves.

Let's take a look at the question together.

1. It's possible that the questioner was brought up by parents who were always very good to them and took care of everything for them, but neglected spiritual education. It's understandable that they still see you as a child and are afraid that you cannot take care of yourself. This is an inevitable limitation of their own era.

2. It's possible that the questioner and his mother didn't have much emotional communication with their parents in the past. The mother may have thought she was meeting your emotional needs by fulfilling your material needs, which is a common misconception. You and your parents didn't communicate much, which is understandable. This means the mother doesn't fully understand the questioner's experiences, especially in his thoughts.

3. The leader of the questioner will ask the questioner what to do. Sometimes the leader may be teaching you the most convenient way to do things, which will make you more effective and save you a lot of detours. It doesn't change you, it just teaches you shortcuts. The questioner is a bit oversensitive and doesn't like to be bound, which is totally understandable!

4. It can be tricky to find a balance between meeting the expectations of others and expressing your own needs.

5. The questioner may also have a strong sense of self-esteem, be sensitive and delicate, and engage in too much internal mental conflict and think too much.

I'm so happy to be able to provide the following analysis and solutions for you!

(1) Accept yourself and your imperfect parents unconditionally. For the kind of restrictions you feel, allow them to be there. Don't pay attention to them, don't think about eliminating them, just live in harmony with them.

(2) Communicate effectively with your parents. I really think you'd benefit from reading a book on non-violent communication. It'll help you to describe things objectively, express your feelings without hurting your parents, and make specific requests.

(3) It's so important to focus on yourself first, and to understand your leader's good intentions. That way, you can make sure you're on the right track. And while you're making sure you're working efficiently, you can even make suggestions to improve your work!

(4) It's time to stop the meaningless internal mental depletion of the self and stop thinking too much.

(5) You can use some music therapy, such as meditation and sitting in silence, to help clear your mind.

(6) It's a great idea to keep up your daily running to help your body produce fewer negative hormones. When you exercise regularly, you'll feel relaxed.

I really hope my answer helps! I wish you could see the light at the end of the tunnel and feel the warmth of the sun on your face. The world is rooting for you, and so are we! ?

Good morning,

I would like to give you a hug.

It is possible that children who grow up in a family without encouragement, praise, and supportive energy may be emotionally unstable, have low self-esteem, and sometimes even resort to violence. This could be because their parents have not cultivated in them the strength to affirm themselves, which may make it naturally difficult for them to accept themselves.

My parents always told me that I was doing the wrong thing, and I'm afraid of being told the same thing by my boss when I grow up. How can I handle this situation in a way that is respectful to both parties?

Often, when I want to do something, I worry that my parents might have concerns about my ability to do it well.

I grew up gradually and did the work assigned by my leader, striving to complete it to the best of my abilities. For others in similar circumstances, there may be instances where they are hesitant to take action, fearing that their leader may not be pleased if they do so. Additionally, there may be aspirations for opportunities in other places, but they may be reluctant to express them. Over time, they may even lose sight of their true aspirations, feeling a sense of uncertainty about what they truly want.

As children, we long to grow up, but once we do, we long to return to being a child. This is an intriguing phenomenon. Could it be that when we achieve the situation we imagined, we find it challenging to experience the desired level of expectation? Perhaps it's because we tend to overlook the impact of our feelings and perceptions during the growth process.

For instance, the original poster was consistently rejected and blamed by his parents during his childhood, which may have contributed to the development of his current personality traits, including a fear of rejection and indecisiveness. As he matured, he may have subconsciously projected these feelings onto his leader, potentially creating an image of an authoritative parent in his mind and experiencing the feelings of being blamed and having his self-worth denied once again.

While the influence of the original family is a fact, we now have more rights to choose. For instance, when facing feelings of dislike or discomfort, we have the option to express our feelings and thoughts and refuse the other person. Similarly, when getting along with our leaders, we also have the right to express our own suggestions. If the leader does not accept or affirm them, it simply shows the leader's thoughts and evaluations, and does not mean that we are being denied or that our value is being negated. We have the choice not to experience the feeling of being denied again. This is a matter of boundaries and self-esteem.

How might I go about reaffirming my own strength? How could I possibly know my own inner needs?

1. It may be helpful to consider your inner needs and explore ways to express them.

One of the initial challenges for individuals who have not yet exercised their rights is that they may not be aware of their entitlement to express themselves. When identifying and addressing self-limiting beliefs, it is crucial to recognize the importance of this step.

For instance, Xiao Ming is somewhat uneasy around Xiao Qiang in the same class because Xiao Qiang often encourages him to play games, which is not really his preference. It's possible that Xiao Ming's discomfort stems from Xiao Qiang's assertive personality, but it's also worth noting that Xiao Ming has not yet had the opportunity to express his preferences clearly. It would be beneficial for Xiao Ming to learn to take ownership of his feelings and communicate his needs in a constructive manner, so that the other person can make a new decision.

2. It may be helpful to try to perceive your own needs and value yourself.

If you find yourself asking for other people's opinions or struggling to articulate your own feelings, you might benefit from focusing on developing your perception skills throughout the week. For instance, when you eat chocolate, you can try to express the sensations of tasting it. What does it feel like in your mouth? Does it feel silky, a little sweet, or rich? What emotions do you feel? Is it a sense of relaxation or lightness? As you gradually practice, you can try to perceive and sense your own emotions when something happens. This will help you express your feelings more easily the next time you need to do so, without feeling blocked or unable to convey your feelings.

3. Consider accepting yourself and nurturing a sense of inner worth.

It's natural to sometimes avoid our own negative feelings when we're experiencing negative feelings from our original family. It's okay to accept this. When you feel blamed, criticized, or judged, you might benefit from talking to your inner self and reassuring yourself that it's okay. This is the negative voice of your inner self, and it's understandable that it can feel anxious and restless. I can see this unrest, and I'm here to support you in finding a way to feel calm. When we review the problem again, we might realize that those bad feelings we tend to push away are actually self-denial and non-recognition of ourselves. When we re-accept ourselves, we may find that we increasingly see our own strengths and creativity, feel an inner sense of worth, and increase our self-confidence.

I wish you the best of luck and encourage you to keep up the good work!