I'm almost 50 years old and have been complained about by patients. What can I do to stop patients complaining?

Hello! I'm the place of peace. As a peer, I really want to give you a hug and comfort the wounded child.

First of all, I want to say that it should be very difficult for a hospital guide to achieve zero complaints, right? After all, people come to the hospital in all kinds of situations. Sometimes it may not be your attitude that is at fault, but simply because the other person is in a bad mood and a conflict arises, which leads to a complaint. But here's the good news! You can absolutely achieve zero complaints! All you have to do is keep in mind that people come to the hospital in all kinds of situations. Sometimes it may not be your attitude that is at fault, but simply because the other person is in a bad mood and a conflict arises, which leads to a complaint.

Absolutely!

So why do you care so much about being complained about? Is it because you want to be the best you can be?

Are you unhappy? Or is there another reason?

As mentioned in the question, your parents divorced when you were young. Did you live with your grandmother and aunt? You had already lost the love of your parents, and your grandmother and aunt treated you unkindly, calling you stupid, criticizing you, and laughing at you. I can imagine and fully understand the hurt, helplessness, anger, and grievances you felt living in such an environment. But you know what? You survived! And you thrived! You're here now, sharing your story with us. That's something to celebrate!

In order to gain your grandmother and aunt's approval and praise, you must try hard to behave better and prove that you are good, worthy of recognition, and worthy of their love.

You say that you always like to prove that you are right, and you are very serious about right and wrong! And you love to accuse others, always seeing their faults.

My dear, I want to say that this is not your fault. You are so much more than what your grandmother and aunt have made you believe. You have so much good in you, and you have the power to discover it. You have the power to see the good in others, too. When you do, you will see that there are so many good parts in your life. You will see that you are worthy of love and approval. You will see that you are worthy of happiness. You will see that you are worthy of being good. You will see that you are worthy of being worthy.

You studied hard, passed the entrance exam for a technical college, and started working at the age of 18, holding onto your iron rice bowl. At that time, this was extremely difficult, but you did it!

Have you not discovered how amazing you are?

If you like, I would love for you to try something new the next time you argue with someone and accuse them:

Why can't we just agree to disagree?

Even if the other person is really wrong and I win the argument, what does that really mean to me?

Absolutely not! We all have the power to find our sense of existence and value in our own approval.

And you can also try to go and see the wounded "child" inside, hug her, and tell her how wonderful and excellent she is! You have the right to ignore and reject other people's bad opinions, unfriendly comments, and unfriendly attitudes.

Tell her that you will always be there for her, giving her strength and support, and walking with her out of the gloom and darkness into the dazzling light!

In the light, the opinions and judgments of others don't matter! What matters is how you feel. Are you happy?

If the answer is yes, then congratulations! You are strong enough!

Way to go, peer!

Dear Question Asker, I am Respondent Letao.

A careful reading of the question reveals that the questioner has experienced significant challenges throughout her life. Her parents divorced when she was 12 years old, and her grandmother and aunt were notably strict with her, frequently issuing commands and directives. Her aunt, in particular, was prone to accusing her of being intellectually deficient. It is reasonable to infer that the questioner endured considerable hardship during her childhood.

Given the questioner's stable employment status, it is reasonable to conclude that their quality of life should be relatively positive.

It is evident that the questioner holds a deep affection for their profession and maintains a rigorous standard of self-discipline. They also demonstrate a keen concern for patient evaluations at work and exhibit particular distress in response to patient grievances.

In this context, it seems pertinent to put forward a few suggestions for the questioner's consideration.

Firstly, it is recommended that the questioner adopt a more tolerant attitude towards those in their immediate vicinity. The questioner's upbringing in an environment conducive to the formation of negative beliefs and behaviours has resulted in the perpetuation of accusations against their aunt and grandmother, as well as a proclivity to accuse others.

Given that the questioner is now nearly 50 years of age, it is evident that this behaviour is no longer conducive to their wellbeing. It is therefore recommended that they take the initiative to forgive their aunt and grandmother, and learn to be tolerant of those around them, in order to alleviate feelings of stress and resentment.

Secondly, it is recommended that the aforementioned standards of service be adhered to. It would be prudent to implement a set of standards for hospital guides, and by doing so, should any issues arise, the guide in question would not be held liable.

Thirdly, it is recommended that you enhance your awareness of active service at work. Given that the individuals with whom you interact in the hospital setting are either patients or their family members, it is to be expected that they may experience feelings of anxiety. As a hospital guide, if you can demonstrate initiative in serving those in need, you will undoubtedly receive commendation and no one will lodge a complaint against you.

Hello, my name is Strawberry!

From what I've seen, I just want to give you a big hug. I think that teachers, doctors, and nurses have to deal with a lot of challenges and stress because they interact with people so much in their work.

It's not easy to see the questioner's growth experience, but you have not compromised because of the various blows of life. You love to learn and have made yourself a guide nurse, which is so impressive!

Nurses: I remember that they're always on the go! While everyone else is relaxing, they're still busy. Sometimes they even can't eat at the right time! It's a tiring and thankless job, but they do it with a smile.

How can I do my job as a counselor without getting complaints? I'd really love to know!

We all have different perceptions, and that's okay!

In terms of my own experience, I've never met anyone who doesn't have their own unique set of needs and preferences. I've found that easy-going folks tend to get along really well with me, and we often have a lot to talk about!

People who have high standards can sometimes find it difficult to accept other people's ways of doing things. They may even feel the need to impose their standards on others. This can be because of the way the questioner was brought up by their relatives. As a result, they can sometimes focus on the faults in other people, and they are very serious about right and wrong.

This is something that affects us all in different ways. When someone knows that the way their loved ones were raised is wrong, it can make them very resistant to people who behave in the same way. This is also the reason why you are serious about it. Being serious has nothing to do with right or wrong, but it can sometimes make you very tired. This society has too many injustices.

Nobody's perfect, and that's okay!

The questioner asks how to make others not complain about you. Even the nicest person will have someone who doesn't like them, so this is something we can't really solve. Even if we go along with the other person, they will still bring their own emotions.

Hospitals can be pretty intense places, emotionally speaking. People don't go to hospitals when they're healthy because patients with physical problems often have emotional issues, too. They might try to keep a lid on their emotions, but they're often looking for ways to let it all out.

It's totally normal for the other person to be unwilling to admit their mistake. It's a tough situation when you're on the receiving end of their emotions. It's only natural for the questioner to feel like they're being unreasonable.

Even if the questioner later makes changes to accommodate them, they might still find fault with the questioner in other ways. The questioner only needs to know that nobody's perfect, and as long as they do their best, they won't be affected by the other person's feelings.

Take care of yourself!

Nurses have to deal with so many patients every day! It's no wonder they sometimes feel physically and mentally tired. It's so important to find a way to relieve stress that's right for you.

There's nothing like talking to your nearest and dearest, going for a lovely stroll in nature, and spending some quality time with nature itself to help you feel at ease and enjoy some well-deserved R&R.

It's so important to take time for yourself, and there are lots of ways to do it! Meeting up with a few friends, strolling around chatting for a while, and gathering with family to chat about daily life are all great ways to temporarily let go of the trivial matters of work and life.

I really hope my answer is helpful to the questioner. I wish them all the best.

Hello, my dear friend! I'm a heart exploration coach, and I'm here to fly free with you, warmly accompany you, and listen to your emotional story with sincerity.

I can totally relate to how you feel when you get complaints from patients. As a guide and consultant, your job is to interact with all kinds of people, and it's only natural that you'll get complaints when you have patients who are anxious during their visits.

But your pain is more intense than others' because, as you said, you are approaching your 50s and have worked for about 30 years, so you have some psychological immunity. It's totally understandable that you feel this deep-seated pain because you long to be seen, respected, recognized, and accepted.

From what you've shared about your upbringing, it seems like your low self-worth makes you feel insecure. I can understand why you're so concerned about what other people say about you, especially negative comments.

Self-confidence is all about believing in yourself and your abilities. It's that deep conviction that you can do something well or achieve a goal.

It's a kind of self-affirmation and belief that comes from the heart.

Self-confidence is the foundation of self-esteem, and self-esteem is the sublimation of self-confidence.

There are two main types of self-confidence. One is based on what you've done, and this can sometimes feel like false confidence. It can make you feel like you lack confidence in yourself as a person, which is totally understandable!

For example, you like to prove that you are right and are very serious about right and wrong. I can see how you might think that the value of your life depends on external material things to prove it.

This kind of confidence can be a bit dangerous, because when the things you rely on disappear, it can make it hard to see the value in your life.

There's another kind of confidence that comes from within. It's not based on what others think or do, but comes from your heart. It's unconditional and subjective. This kind of confidence is the real deal!

If you're like this, you'll be at peace with others and you won't worry about what they think. You'll be happy to let them think what they want, even if they're wrong! You're confident in yourself and in the future, and that's a wonderful thing!

?2. You might be wondering where the energy of the heart comes from. Well, it comes from a sense of worth.

Self-worth is simply how you see yourself. It's your own personal evaluation of your own self-worth.

When a person has a strong sense of self-worth, they show a desire for self-improvement and a natural tendency to strive for the good.

When a person has a very low opinion of themselves, they are like glass—vulnerable and easily hurt. They care a great deal about what other people think of them and find it difficult to get along with others.

A person's self-worth depends largely on their family of origin and how they were raised by their parents or other significant adults in childhood. If a child grows up in a family where criticism is the norm and they don't get the affirmation and encouragement they need from their parents, it can really affect them.

As you mentioned, your parents divorced, your grandmother and aunt were pretty bossy, and they often rejected you and criticized you. I can imagine that made you really eager to gain acceptance and approval from others.

You're an adult now, and you can choose to be your own significant other and give yourself the love and support you need.

3. It's so important to remember that whether we're feeling happy or sad, it's always down to something we've done or not done. It's so empowering to take responsibility for our share of the situation and then change it to achieve a breakthrough!

I'd love to suggest an article on my personal homepage, "It turns out that the root cause of psychological problems is it," which goes into more detail about [sense of value].

I really hope this helps you to avoid complaints! If you can understand the above content about "sense of value," you won't care about these things too much.

We can't change other people, but we can change ourselves. And that's okay! The problem is not the problem, it's how we "interpret" the problem.

He's not complaining about you, sweetie. He's just having a bad day. Just imagine, how many patients would go to the doctor happily and cheerfully?

As long as you are enthusiastic and speak sincerely, even if the other person complains about you, at least it is not your attitude or work quality that is problematic. Just be yourself, my dear friend. Learning, especially some psychology, can help you enhance the energy of your heart.

I really hope this helps you, and I just want to say that I love you and the world loves you too ?

If you'd like to keep chatting, just click on "Find a coach" in the top right corner or at the bottom. I'd love to keep talking with you one-on-one!

Hello, host! I'm smiling.

After reading your description, I have a better understanding of the question you want to ask, so I'll give you a hug in the fourth dimension.

The issues you raised in your description are likely influenced by your upbringing. You grew up in an environment where praise was lacking and criticism was prevalent. This can lead to a loss of confidence and a belief that one is not good at anything. Additionally, individuals may turn to external sources of frustration, such as blaming others or focusing on other people's shortcomings, as a way to gain some experience.

It's actually a good thing to be able to identify your problems because it means there's a point of change for you right now. So, host, take your time because from this moment on, you'll start to see some visible changes in your life.

In this regard, I've also put together a few tips to help you deal with the current situation. I hope they'll be useful for you.

(1) Take it easy and go at your own pace. Don't push yourself too hard because that'll only make things worse in the moment.

(2) You can talk to your friends, get things off your chest, and let go of some pent-up emotions.

(3) Try lowering your threshold for things. That means when you hear the patient asking you something, you can calmly and patiently talk to the patient instead of speaking in a way that makes the patient feel uncomfortable.

(4) Try to take your mind off things. Don't dwell on the negative, but get out of there as soon as you can.

(5) The patient thinks there's something wrong with your attitude, but it's not your problem. It's just that he's really anxious because when people are sick, a lot of things they encounter are magnified without them realizing it.

I just wanted to say that I love you, the world, and everything in it.

Wishing you the best!

Hello, question asker! I'm Evan.

From what the questioner says, it seems like he wants to solve the patient complaints he has at work. But I also get the feeling that he wants to solve the relationship between himself and his parents. After his parents divorced when he was just 12 years old, it seems like his growth was put on hold. He sees things as either right or wrong. Isn't this the simplest logical thinking for teenagers?

It's not about trying to prove you're right, is it? These are all signs that the questioner's inner child is still stuck in this stage.

From his parents' divorce, the questioner's aunt has made him feel like he doesn't matter. He always wants to prove to others that he is right. But he also blames himself for his parents' divorce. So, even though he wants to prove that he is right, he has a deep sense of denial. This makes him unsure of himself.

I'm not sure if the questioner already has a family of his own, but I would love for him to read books like "Parenting Your Inner Child" to help his inner child grow. Then he will naturally be able to face his work problems with ease.

However, since the question was asked on the platform, we unfortunately can't have an in-depth exchange on the questioner's question. But don't worry! We can still give the questioner some simple advice on the platform:

It's okay to accept your current state.

First, the questioner needs to accept his current state, understand that he craves the affirmation of others and the trust of his patients, and that this is his inner pursuit. It's totally understandable that he would have lacked the affirmation of his loved ones when he was a child, so it's only natural that he would experience such emotions and reactions.

So don't feel bad. We all have those feelings sometimes! Tell yourself that this is the result of the intimate relationship you had as a child, which now makes you so eager for others to recognize you. At the same time, the questioner can also try to communicate with the patient, not directly negate others, tell the patient that they will help him check the doctor's duty roster, and if you are right, you can tell the patient when the doctor will come to work, and if the patient is right, you can directly help him register.

It's okay to disagree with someone, but it's not a good idea to be too quick to negate them. Let's let the facts speak for themselves, rather than negating them outright.

Let's identify the problem together.

When you're facing a conflict with a patient, it can be really helpful to take a step back and think about what's going on. Sometimes, these things can feel pretty complex, with lots of different things going on at once.

Take a deep breath and think about the situation. You might be surprised at what you find! Once you identify the core issue, you'll be able to focus on your position and express your concerns more clearly.

It can be really helpful to ask yourself a few simple questions to help you reflect on the situation. For instance, you could ask yourself: What triggered the conflict? And what was the result of what you wanted but didn't get?

I'd love to know what you were afraid of. And I'm curious if you think the negative emotions that came up during the conflict were accurate and appropriate, or if they felt a bit over the top.

I'm here to help!

When you're reflecting, it can be really helpful to list all the problems the questioner perceives and see which ones overlap and intersect. If the questioner is unable to immediately identify the core issues, identifying overlapping parts should allow you to quickly figure them out.

It's so important to pay attention to your inner voice!

It would be really helpful to know whether the questioner has been paying attention to their true voice. These thoughts can have a really positive or negative effect on our physical and mental health.

What thoughts might be getting in the way of what the questioner really wants? It seems like the questioner wants the love and approval of their loved ones. This can sometimes manifest as a desire to be in complete control of everything and to have everyone around them approve of them.

Take a deep breath and listen to that little voice inside you. Why do you want to be right so badly?

At the same time, try not to be too hard on yourself. Sometimes, the influence that parents and relatives have on the questioner makes it difficult for them to help. They might even start to think that it is their fault that their parents are like this. These thoughts about oneself that are not satisfactory will affect the questioner's emotions, loss of motivation, and expectations for life.

Every morning, take a moment to look at yourself in the mirror and say three things you like about yourself. It's amazing how a little positivity can go a long way! When you feel good about yourself, you're more confident and less likely to engage in self-talk that lacks a sense of security.

For example, you can say something like, "I deserve to be loved, I can love others, I deserve to be affirmed, I deserve more love, etc."

It's so important to pay attention to the external situation!

It can be really helpful for the questioner to try to identify what kind of situations will make them feel the need to categorize right and wrong. Is it when someone shows a wrong perception of things, or when others don't consider things from the questioner's perspective, and the questioner can't help but negate others in social situations? Or is it only the case in certain situations?

Do you find that these situations make you feel pressured or embarrassed? If so, you can use visualization techniques to calm your mind.

Just picture yourself in a relaxed state of mind, observing and enjoying things as they are in a carefree and happy way.

If these situations make the questioner feel uncomfortable, it's best to avoid them or take a moment to calm down before entering the relevant situation. For example, if the questioner encounters a situation where they are arguing with someone about right and wrong, they can let someone else answer the patient's questions and then come back when they've had a chance to calm down.

If you were wrong, would you let others tell you that you were right? Take a moment to think about why you have this thought.

I'd love to know your preferred mode of interaction. What are your needs? Have you discussed these with others?

It's so important to pay attention to our own verbal tics.

We've all been there. When we're facing an unpleasant situation, it's only natural to say things like "I'm so annoyed," "I might as well die," or "You're wrong." But, these words can actually reflect a deeper desire for others to admit that they are right when dealing with things. Unfortunately, these negative words can make the questioner reinforce negative thoughts.

It's also worth noting that your mantra often reflects your subconscious thoughts. Paying attention to your mantra can help you understand your inner thoughts, which is a great way to gain insight into yourself.

It's best to avoid using such words. We can help you turn negative emotions into a positive side by replacing these negative words with positive thoughts and praise. For example, we can replace "terrible" with "unfortunate" or "there is room for improvement," "disaster" with "challenge" or "inconvenience," and "you are wrong" with "you think so."

If you're looking for some extra support, there are lots of great psychological services out there that can help.

It's clear that the lack of affirmation has had a deep impact on the questioner. If the questioner feels that their childhood experiences have affected them and caused significant issues in their intimate and interpersonal relationships, it's a really good idea to seek the help of a professional counselor or other practitioner. These wonderful professionals can help the questioner face their childhood trauma. Before seeking counseling, it's a great idea to inquire about the reputation of these practitioners to avoid any further hurt.

I really hope my answer helps the questioner!

From the landlord's description, I sense a certain helplessness and pain. I wonder if I might make a few suggestions that could help the landlord.

First, it might be helpful to try to find a balance in your mind and to let the past be the past.

In his description, the host mentioned that a communication incident from his past led him to recall being separated from his parents at a young age and being fostered in a relative's home, where he experienced hurt from his aunt's words.

Your aunt was quite strict with you, which may have made you afraid of being criticized when you grew up. As a young child, you may have been afraid of your aunt's authority as an elder, which could have led to some unfair incidents and a lot of grievances.

You've grown up, and your aunt is not a shadow that you must overcome in your life. She has her own strengths and weaknesses, as we all do.

Secondly, it would be beneficial to gain a more accurate understanding of oneself and others.

The host is aware of his own strength: he loves learning. Perhaps it would be helpful to consider what other strengths he has.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider this in more depth. It might be beneficial to ask your family, friends, and colleagues for their perspective. This could provide a more objective view of yourself.

I believe they do.

It would be beneficial for the host to also get to know other people correctly. Perhaps it would be helpful to look for the good points in other people.

Perhaps when the host learns to appreciate others and stops focusing on their shortcomings, he can also achieve a greater sense of peace.

Thirdly, it may be helpful to consider not dwelling on right and wrong, but rather paying attention to your feelings.

It is worth noting that there is no definitive right or wrong in many of the situations the host describes. The appropriateness of an action often depends on the perspective and emphasis placed on it.

From the host's account, it seems that the patient went to the doctor with the test results and was informed that the doctor was not working in the outpatient clinic that day. These appear to be factual communications.

If the host realizes that the patient is anxious to see the doctor who made a house call yesterday because he is nervous about his condition, it would be helpful to understand the patient's emotions. You could offer comfort by saying something like, "I understand how you feel. Unfortunately, this doctor didn't make a house call today, but I'll ask other doctors and get back to you."

It may also help to calm the patient's emotions, which could prevent the situation from becoming a constant argument about the facts.

Fourth, it would be beneficial to pay attention to your emotions.

The host mentioned that he is often the subject of complaints. Could you please share what emotions you felt when the previous complaint incident occurred?

It might be helpful to pay attention to your emotional changes and learn to recognize your emotions.

It is important to be gentle with yourself when you are experiencing negative emotions. Try to find ways to comfort and love yourself.

I am optimistic that the host will be able to find ways to improve his own sense of calm and stability, and to create a more welcoming environment for patients who come for consultation.

Hello! Thank you so much for your question. I'm Mo Mo, and I'm thrilled to be here.

Have you ever been complained about at work? It can have a big impact on your mood! You might feel depressed for days after being complained about. But it's important to remember that you care about what is right and wrong. You argued with the patient after insisting that the doctor was not working today. Then, you were complained about. It's true that being complained about is easier in service-oriented work. It happens frequently! You must be a great listener, answering questions, remaining gentle and patient, and tolerating the impatience and misunderstandings of patients or their families. This job is also full of a sense of pressure. But you can do it!

You said you feel like no one has ever loved you, and that you were often ordered around by your grandmother and aunt, who also frequently criticized you. This may have caused you to subconsciously always feel that some of the questions patients ask you are accusatory, critical, or nitpicking in nature, and then you can't help but feel bad. Then perhaps your tone and attitude will protect you, giving the patient an uncomfortable feeling, and increasing the probability of being complained about. At the same time, your relationship with others is also affected by your family of origin, and there is always a sense of opposition and being misunderstood. Therefore, others' feelings towards you are a bit directed, and this relationship pattern is a challenge for your work. But you can overcome this!

I'd love to share a few thoughts with you as a reference!

1. Get to know your family of origin and how they influence you!

Think about it! What is the pattern of your relationship with your family? And guess what? The relationship between you and the people around you is also this pattern! You say that you are always criticized and blamed by your family, saying that you are stupid. Does it feel like a scene is being recreated when you say that you have a bad attitude? Do you feel unloved, just as you feel unappreciated by others?

So, we know that our family patterns influence our patterns of getting along with others. But here's the good news: we can change these patterns! We can reconcile with our family and reconcile with ourselves. Even if there's no way to change our relationship with our family, we can still be inspired by this model and think about what kind of pattern we want to be in with others. We can perceive it in our real-life interactions and work, and then slowly move towards a harmonious and amicable pattern.

2. Accept yourself

We've been on the receiving end of complaints and criticism, and it's natural to feel aggrieved and saddened. This isn't just a problem at work, it's a chance to re-examine ourselves. So, let's start by accepting ourselves and facing the reality. Yes, I've been on the receiving end of complaints. Maybe it really is my fault, or it was an unintentional mistake, or maybe I've always been like this and they don't understand me, or maybe they are just in a bad mood and since our work is service-oriented, we are in a disadvantaged position in the relationship, so they took it out on us. All of this is possible. From your description, I feel that you are still quite responsible and you are also telling the truth. At the same time, since you want to do a good job, I think you are serious about your work and want to provide better service to your patients. Perhaps it is the "vicious cycle" of getting along with each other that is at play.

3. We can definitely find ways to improve your work!

Think about it: if I were a patient, how would I like to be treated? The answer is simple: actually, work can be improved. So, since we want to improve the quality of our work, there must be a way! What kind of guidance do patients like? I can do it too, for example, adjusting the tone of voice, facial expressions, and fine-tuning the content of what I say. All of these can be changed, little by little, and slowly you will become more popular!

The past is the past. Let's start today and think about what substantive changes I can make at work. What was the situation when I was originally complained about? Was it the tone or the expression?

It's true that it's not easy to do a good job, but we can absolutely find ways to make things go more smoothly! Don't take it personally; maybe the patient or their family is just having a bad day. Even the best guides can sometimes be misunderstood. You've got this! The world and I love you.

I want to encourage the author.

The questioner's description:

I'm almost 50, and since I was a child, my grandmother and aunt have always ordered me around, criticizing me for being serious. I love to point out the faults of others. I love to learn, and as a medical receptionist, I'm often the target of complaints from patients.

A patient came to me with a blood test report and asked to see the doctor. I said the doctor wasn't working. She said, "This is the doctor who works here."

"I said, "No, this is not where the doctor works." Then she said, "Why are you so rude?"

"I want to complain about you. You have a bad attitude." May I ask the teachers how to avoid complaints when I work as a medical consultant?

Words to the questioner:

The questioner is worthy of praise. One problem is that, under pressure, the questioner can prove themselves right. They can then complete their goals.

He didn't give up because of what others said. This is the strength of the questioner.

He also used this method at work to communicate with others.

This characteristic is both an advantage and a disadvantage.

He also forgot how to communicate with some patients. The questioner can use other ways to communicate.

Solutions:

1.

Pay attention to your tone and intonation when the other person speaks.

2.

Don't let your emotions affect the conversation when the other person is emotional.

3-

Smile before you speak.

The host needs to know that it's hard to change your lifestyle in a short time.

If you get complained about a lot, try to get fewer complaints next month. This will help you see your progress and stay motivated.

In the course of our work in the hospital, we often encounter a wide range of individuals, some of whom may be experiencing challenging or emotionally charged situations. At times, we may also feel overwhelmed, even when we feel powerless to effect change. It's important to recognize that perceptions of attitude can be influenced by external factors, and that our intentions may not always align with how we are perceived.

It may be the case that this person feels you have experienced a great deal of emotional distress. Now that you are over half a century old, you have gained a great deal of life experience. It might be helpful for you to consider this. Based on past experience, you have your own way of thinking.

It is also worth noting that in other people's experience, it may be just one expression, tone of voice, or gesture that makes them feel uncomfortable. Therefore, when you are complained against by a patient, it may be helpful to consider adjusting your approach as soon as possible to see if you were perhaps a bit harsh at the time.

When that time comes, it would be beneficial to consider making adjustments. It's also helpful to observe people's expressions to gain insight into their emotions. It's important to remember that you are here to do your own thing. It's natural to want to feel at ease going to work, which often involves social interactions. These social interactions can sometimes feel pressured.

It is also important to consider how others may form expectations of you. It is not uncommon for individuals in this field to receive criticism, personal attacks, and ridicule. These experiences can have a negative impact on one's inner self. It is therefore valuable to cherish a secure job later on, as it can provide a sense of fulfillment. Being a guidance nurse is also a challenging role.

The other party may have concerns about your attitude, etc., because they may have high expectations of you. You want to do a better job, so it's best to learn from your past mistakes and see if you need to make some adjustments. You don't need to tell them too much, and you can add an "oh" at the end to make your tone softer. She won't find too many flaws, and just stating the facts is fine. Good luck.

Could I ask you a question, ZQ?

Hello, questioner!

You didn't get enough love and encouragement from your family when you were young, but you still managed to get into vocational school and get a job as a nurse through your own hard work. That's really impressive!

"These days, I always like to prove that I'm right, and I'm very serious about right and wrong!"

We like to argue about right and wrong because we usually think we're right and want to control others by determining what is right and wrong.

We've been stuck in this right and wrong mindset for too long. We need to figure out what's right or wrong before deciding what to do. In fact, there's no right or wrong in many things. As long as you don't harm others, you should try to satisfy your own needs, whether they're physical, material, or emotional.

As the ancients said, "To one person, the bear's paw is a delicacy; to another, it is arsenic." Everyone has different feelings about the same thing. Apart from common social interactions, there are some rules that need to be followed together, and it's not necessary to have a consistent evaluation of right and wrong in everything.

I hope you won't get too hung up on who's right and who's wrong. You and your colleagues can have different opinions.

You're feeling pretty stressed out by all the complaints you're getting at work, and you're hoping you won't get any more.

First of all, I want to say how much I respect you, the angels in white. You work really hard, always thinking of the patients in the smallest details. You're under a lot of mental stress every day. Thank you!

Second, I think you're aware that most nurses get complaints, especially those who guide patients. You see so many patients a day, and each one has different needs. It's not realistic to expect you to understand and meet everyone's needs quickly.

Again, when a patient complains about you, it doesn't necessarily mean you did a bad job. It could be that he has high expectations or that he just had a bad day and you made him a little unhappy, so he took it out on you.

You can definitely keep learning and improving your attitude and communication skills. There are lots of great courses and articles on emotional intelligence and interpersonal communication on the Yi Xinli platform.

Thanks for all your hard work and for living an active life!

I'm Haru Aoki, and I just wanted to say that I love you all!

Hugging is like looking at myself in the mirror.

I was born in the 1970s and grew up in a family that wasn't the easiest to navigate. I was often ignored and scolded, and I felt timid, inferior, and sensitive. I wanted to escape that environment, so I studied hard and have been working as a clinical nurse since graduating from nursing school.

Isn't it amazing how no two leaves in the world are the same? Well, fate has a way of surprising us, because among millions of people, I met someone similar to me in so many ways: age, upbringing, and even occupation. I'm still in shock!

And, of course, there are always bear hugs!

We all have our own unique experiences and backgrounds. I grew up in the 1970s and 1980s, and I remember that it was a time when many of us had to face challenges and difficulties. In those days, when there was still a lack of material and spiritual wealth, people living in ordinary families might have focused more on acquiring and accumulating material wealth, which can sometimes distract us from the importance of emotional connections. As children, we did not always receive the care and love we needed, but if you think about it from another perspective, this has also shaped our resilience and sense of responsibility.

It's just like how we worked hard to change our fate, just as stubbornly as we studied, to achieve our goals, and to be dedicated to our work. We should give ourselves a big pat on the back!

Let's chat about the nursing profession we're all in! It's classified as a service industry, and it's truly worthy of the name, no matter what kind of work we do or how we interact with others.

It's a common belief that working with people is one of the toughest jobs out there. As medical professionals, we interact with patients who are dealing with various illnesses and anxious family members. It's important to remember that their negative energy can sometimes affect us, too. That's why it's crucial for us to have strong psychological support and excellent professional skills.

When we're at work, it's so important to really get into the work. Whether we're dealing with a regular person or a patient, we need to remember that, psychologically, they're looking for help, and we're there to give it to them. We're all in this together, and we're all doing our best.

Keep your heart open, be sincere, and show dedication.

You know what they say, "Practice makes perfect." And it's true! What doesn't defeat you will eventually make you stronger.

Hello! I can see you're feeling a bit confused. It's totally normal to want to reduce complaints and work more smoothly. We all get anxious and feel helpless sometimes, and I'm here to help you through it.

I can see that you are a very independent and strong person from a young age, and you are very motivated. You know that you can only realize your value by learning and becoming independent as soon as possible, and I admire you for that. You started working at the age of 18, and through hard work and perseverance, you have found a path of your own and escaped from a terrible family. This is great!

You told me about your childhood. You were raised by your aunt and grandmother, and you never had the chance to experience parenting from your own parents. Your aunt and grandmother were very strict, and they didn't have the time to show you love and care.

You were often criticized, accused, and ridiculed, and you received a lot of negative feedback during your upbringing, poor thing.

It's so sad, but you have almost never been affirmed, loved, respected, or understood. You have always been told that you are wrong, that you are in the wrong, and that you are no good.

You have a strong sense of self-esteem and don't want to be denied, which is why you always try to prove your worth and show that you are right when things don't go as planned. You always want to compete with others over what is right and wrong because you feel strongly about your beliefs.

Because you weren't understood as a child, it's understandable that your ability to understand others is also relatively weak. It's human nature to want to point out the shortcomings of others, but it's also important to remember that everyone has their own struggles.

I think you also learned this from your aunt and grandmother. I saw you give an example from work where a patient was competing with you.

I can see that you're trying to prove you're right, but you're missing the other person's needs. It's okay! We all do this sometimes. You're not empathizing with the other person, you're not understanding the other person, and your empathy is relatively weak.

Empathy is a beautiful thing. It's the ability to put yourself in someone else's shoes and see the world through their eyes. It's about observing their experiences with a caring heart and using that to influence your thoughts and actions. It's about temporarily putting your own emotions on the back burner and considering things from the other person's perspective.

The good news is that empathy can be cultivated! In your daily life, you can simply observe other people more and put yourself in their shoes. For example, if you see an angry mother scolding her crying child, you can put yourself in the mother's shoes and imagine what emotions she is feeling; then put yourself in the child's shoes and imagine what emotions the child would be feeling.

You know, observing more and being more aware will really help you to develop your emotional experience in a positive way.

For example, in this case, even if you know you are right, it's important to step out of your role and put yourself in the other person's shoes. Think about it: the other person insists that they are right, so why are they insisting? You can ask patiently. Maybe there was some misunderstanding, or maybe the patient is just having a bad day and coming to you to fight gives her a way to let off steam.

It's so important to give the other person a chance to explain clearly. It's also really helpful to express your understanding of their feelings and try to empathize with them. If the patient feels understood, they'll know you care about them as a person, not just about the situation at hand.

I really hope my answer is helpful for you. I wish you the best of luck!

Hello, my dear friend! Let me give you a big hug because you've worked so hard!

Guides are the unsung heroes of the medical world. They are the patient's confidant, their rock in a time of need. Imagine a patient who is already feeling irritable because they are sick, and who is unfamiliar with the hospital's procedures and doesn't know which number to dial or which way to go. If, at this time, the guide provides warm and thoughtful service that makes them feel at home, they will feel better. It's that simple!

As a medical receptionist, you've probably had to deal with a lot of patients over the years, and it's only natural that you might feel a bit impatient at times. But remember, you're only human! We all have emotions, and it's important to try to control them and be more understanding towards patients. And don't forget to take care of your own emotional well-being too!

You mentioned that when you were 12 years old, your parents divorced, and you received little love and affirmation. At work, you especially want to do a good job and want to be praised and affirmed, but in your job, you may not be able to get any praise. But here's the good news! You can still do a great job and get lots of praise and affirmation in other ways.

If you are misunderstood a lot, you will feel aggrieved. But don't worry! If you are in a bad mood, you are more likely to make mistakes and worry about complaints. I think you are too nervous and depressed. But you know what? You can beat this! If you have been feeling unwell recently, please take a few days off to relieve the pressure, chat with family and friends, release your emotions, give yourself a hug, and tell yourself that you are too tired and need to rest and recharge. You've got this!

Adults also have moments of collapse. But remember, we also have fragile hearts that need care and love! First, we must learn to love ourselves and our family. We receive love and nourishment from our family and friends, and in return, we give it to the patients' families. When you feel good and your emotions are in order, love can flow freely, and things like being complained about will not happen. I believe you are not often complained about either. Occasionally encountering complaints, face them positively! Service work is not easy, but your attitude determines everything. And as long as there is love, nothing is the worst!

You said that you felt like an unloved child when you were young, and you also experienced verbal violence from your family. Now that I think about it, you are still paying for this trauma. But now you're grown up! You have relied on your own strength to study and work. You are self-reliant and self-improving, and you can completely heal the trauma through your own efforts. Don't let the negative emotions of your original family affect your life forever, because you have already grown up and you are the master of your own life. Believe in yourself, you can do it, and I believe in you too!

Good day!

Everyone appreciates recognition and wants to be acknowledged. However, the underlying reasons for this vary from person to person, which also influences how people respond when they are not recognized.

You appear to have a good understanding of your own personality traits. You have mentioned that you enjoy proving your point, pointing out the faults of others, and seeing the flaws in their actions. It is not easy to acknowledge such tendencies about oneself so directly.

By taking this first step, you have already begun to address the underlying issue that led to the complaint. Identifying the root cause of the problem is often crucial for finding a successful solution.

From what I understand, you started working at the age of 18, are now 50, and have been in this position for 32 years, so you have gained a great deal of experience. I am confident that you will be able to excel in your role.

Given the nature of your job, which involves interacting with many patients, it is understandable that some may feel anxious when visiting the hospital. It is therefore important for nurses to not only provide accurate information but also to be mindful of the emotional needs of their patients. This may be a contributing factor to the reasons behind the complaints made against you.

If I may make a suggestion, I believe that learning about "Nonviolent Communication" could be beneficial for you.

If I might suggest, it would be beneficial to learn to listen. This would entail listening to the basic facts the patient is saying, what emotions she is feeling in the moment, and what her requests are.

"I had my blood test yesterday, and I'm here again today to see if I need to make an appointment."

If I might respectfully clarify, I had a blood test yesterday and I am here today to receive the results.

I'm feeling quite anxious and worried at the moment and I'm unsure what to do.

I would like to inquire as to whether it would be advisable to obtain a number from this doctor.

Secondly, it would be beneficial to learn how to communicate effectively. Once you have a clear understanding of the facts, emotions, and demands of the patient, you can respond to each one in a way that is respectful and considerate.

The patient's statement may not be entirely accurate, but it can be clarified without being refuted. Based on the patient's emotions, further clarification and correction of the facts can be made.

It seems that the conversation you described in your question simply refuted what the patient said without providing more accurate information, which may have caused the patient's dissatisfaction. It's possible that the patient's already anxious and angry emotions were about to erupt.

Me: I believe this may not be the doctor's shift today.

Patient: Yes, this is the doctor on duty.

I would like to kindly inquire as to where this doctor is currently working.

Perhaps you could try replying like this:

It would seem that, according to the report, it is of no consequence which doctor you see.

Emotion: Please don't worry, the doctors are very professional.

I'm afraid the doctor you have an appointment with is not working today, and the doctor on duty is Dr. XX.

If you would like to wait, you can just take a number and wait in XX to be called.

Your eagerness to change after being complained against is admirable. It is evident that you are a dedicated professional nurse who is committed to helping patients. You may find it beneficial to explore the approach of non-violent communication, which could potentially yield surprising results.

It's important to note that understanding does not necessarily equate to being able to do it. The question-and-answer aspect of communication is particularly time-sensitive, making it challenging to achieve significant changes overnight. It often requires a dedicated period of practice and reflection to fully grasp the nuances involved.

Once you take that first step, I believe you will find that change will begin to happen.

I am hopeful that you will continue to grow as a nurse and be able to help more patients in the future.

I hope the above is helpful to you.

Hello!

It's okay if the patient or their family gets a little upset. We all have to deal with difficult people sometimes! Your job is to help them, so try to stay calm and patient.

We all get anxious when we're sick or when we're taking a family member to the doctor. If you're already feeling stressed, it's easy to lose your cool when you're speaking to someone in a position of authority.

If you're dealing with a doctor, you might still be a little worried that they won't give you the attention you need. But with a nurse, you don't have to worry about that at all! It's totally normal to get a little upset in those moments.

Secondly, it's possible that the patient is upset with you because of the service you provided. After all, to the patient or their family, the medical guide represents the hospital, and you should know everything about the hospital. If you don't know the answer when asked, it might make them feel like you aren't qualified, which could lead to them complaining about you.

It's totally understandable that you might feel some frustration when things don't go as smoothly as we'd all like. Unfortunately, there's no way around it, as this is the nature of the work of a window service.

I'm sure we can all agree that only more precise and more skillful service can avoid this kind of situation. For example, in the situation you mentioned, the patient said that they needed to get a number to see the results. You simply answered whether they needed to get a number or not according to the hospital regulations.

But your response was that this doctor is not working, and this answer didn't quite give the patient the answer they were hoping for. And when the other party emphasized that the doctor was working, you were still saying that it wasn't this doctor who was working.

At this time, the best approach is not to argue with the patient, but to calmly say, "I remember the doctor you mentioned. He is not working today. If you want to see this doctor, I suggest you go first, so as not to delay your consultation. Perhaps there will be no conflict afterwards."

At the end of the day, in this line of work, being polite is really important. From what you told me, I didn't get the impression that you were being particularly polite.

As a hospital guide, you have an extra responsibility because you're the one who's helping customers. If you know the answer, you can be super helpful by telling the other person. If you don't know, you can still be helpful by telling them who to find and which department to go to.

This way, the patient or family member will see how professional you are, and they won't get upset with you.

I really hope this helps!

It is important to consider the perspective of others and to be open to new beginnings.

Good morning,

I understand that your work is often demanding and stressful, and that you occasionally have to interact with anxious patients. However, your work is important and meaningful. You are often the first point of contact for patients, and your assistance could potentially be the beginning of a positive experience for them. We will now discuss practical issues, such as how to address patient complaints and underlying factors, including your upbringing. Finally, we will combine these elements to develop specific, actionable measures.

"Put yourself in their shoes" - Adopt the patient's perspective and consider their anxieties and difficulties. You have likely experienced similar situations in other hospitals. Imagine a patient who is unfamiliar with the hospital process and may not even be a local resident, arriving at the hospital with their own pain and anxiety.

What experience are you looking forward to? Typically, when we recognize the tangible value we can offer (such as assisting others and influencing outcomes), we are driven to provide objective, professional, and emotionally neutral services.

"Start over" - Professional psychological support may be necessary to overcome past trauma, depending on its severity and persistence. This section will explore some basic self-healing techniques.

It is important to remember that you are no longer the child who was ignored. You are now an adult who is independent and responsible, and you have the ability to take control of your own life. This also means that you can revisit past experiences and provide comfort to your former self. You can speak up against people who belittle your value in meetings, rewrite past experiences that trouble you, and then let go of them. By doing so, you can start over again by choosing your own attitude towards life.

In conclusion, please find below a few more general points for your reference:

- Periodically evaluate your stress levels and engage in activities that reduce stress. Any activity that promotes relaxation and positive emotions is acceptable. Additionally, allocate more time for self-reflection.

- Identify new learning opportunities at work and pursue continuous improvement and personal development.

It is important to prioritize your health and ensure you are getting sufficient rest.

I hope this information is useful to you. I wish you the best of luck.

Hello, white-clad angel!

Your age tells me you were able to get into a technical secondary school and performed well academically. The technical secondary school was highly valued at the time, and going to one meant being treated like a "state cadre."

You were 18 and had to enter the workforce independently. You would be responsible for both day and night shifts and would need to be on duty independently no matter what happened to the patients. You had to independently deal with the rescue of patients with various conditions! You are a white-clad angel, ordinary but great!

A career like this deserves recognition from society and others. We can't control whether others recognize it or not, but we can control how we recognize ourselves.

"People are the products of their environment." From the moment we are born, we begin to learn about the people and things around us. When we were young, we didn't have a clear sense of right and wrong. We learned how to deal with people and things through what we saw, heard, and experienced. Repeating these actions over and over again formed our ability and habits to deal with the world. As we continue to practice in society, we will find that after we respond to external habits and ways, there will be different external feedbacks returned to us. Some of these make us feel that the relationship has lost harmony and communication has encountered obstacles. As you said, I was told that I was "stupid," "criticized," and "laughed at." For a child, this kind of treatment cannot satisfy her need to be respected and recognized. "I like to prove myself." "I also love to accuse others." "I will always see the faults of others." Behind these is the fact that I unconsciously used another way to "satisfy" myself. I am valuable, I am "worthy of recognition," and I am "worthy of love." This is indeed a good motive that is correct but unconscious! You really need to be treated this way, but because you were young, you were unable to protect yourself better.

You're over forty now. Treat yourself this way.

You need to ask yourself: can you live and work without the way you were treated as a child?

You are skilled and accustomed to this way of doing things.

You don't like being treated this way. You have become the way of "the person you don't like."

You're welcome. It's great that you're aware of yourself and have identified a way to correct your behavior.

You know as well as I do that the right way to handle things is to treat others with respect.

Respect may seem polite and calm on the surface, but it is much more than that.

I respect your thoughts and views, and I also have my own thoughts and views. We all respond to the outside world through our minds, and our minds are shaped by our positions and perceptions. There will always be differences between our perceptions and the actual facts, and there will also be individual differences due to our different interpretations of the same event. All the answers to "the blind men and the elephant" are correct, but they are just not comprehensive enough!

If we insist that what we say is the truth and deny the other person, then is this kind of "right" not really "right"? I think so. What do you think?

If the person being rejected still has to admit they were wrong, do you think the other person will feel comfortable? They may respond to you in an accusatory manner to protect their ego and avoid feeling rejected.

This is a domino effect, plain and simple.

You have discovered the secret here. If it is a chain reaction, you can break it. Respect other people's different opinions and put them in the right position. Show your understanding and respect. Tell the other person the facts you have seen and heard, but they do not need to agree with you. The person who started the chain reaction is the one who needs to fix it.

Put it on, and at the same time, show your understanding and respect. If necessary, tell the other person the facts you have seen and heard, but don't expect them to agree. End the chain reaction by being the one to start it!

You can break the link in the chain reaction!

I wish you nothing but success and increasing happiness!

Dear Questioner, How are you?

After reading my sister's description and the thoughtful and detailed replies from everyone, I would like to share my feelings as a family member of a patient who does not usually express himself in real life and has recently been going to the hospital frequently.

During my tenure as a hospital companion, I encountered a nurse who, despite her professional demeanor, appeared to be experiencing personal challenges. She often spoke to people in a straightforward, assertive manner, while expressing dissatisfaction. For instance, she once stated, "You all ensure the well-being of your patients and refrain from causing me inconvenience..." and expected immediate compliance from everyone in the room.

In fact, she could have stated at the time, "I'm the only one on duty, and I may not be able to keep up with everything, so I hope everyone can cooperate with me and take care of the patients together."

I am unsure if my sister would adopt a similar approach, and if she would unintentionally utilize rhetorical questions (which can sometimes be perceived as offensive). The majority of individuals my sister interacts with in her profession are in a fragile and sensitive emotional state. My sister can endeavor to express herself in a gentle, positive, and non-judgmental manner.

I would like to suggest two books that I believe would be beneficial for my sister: "A World Without Complaints" and "Nonviolent Communication."

I would also like to offer my sister some advice.

1. My sister can provide herself with psychological nourishment by learning some self-healing methods, such as writing therapy, painting therapy, etc.

2. Love yourself. It is important to accept that we will make mistakes or do things imperfectly. We can reflect and summarize, but avoid self-blame.

3. It is often helpful to observe how other individuals respond in similar circumstances and to learn from their examples.

It is my hope that my sister will be at ease and happy.

It's a shame to be complained about at 50, even if it's not really fair. It's hard to avoid complaints, but there are ways to handle them better. Patients are more vulnerable. When they say your attitude is bad, it doesn't mean it really is.

Maybe you'll be a little impatient for a moment because you're busy and tired at work. This is totally normal. Then, when he starts talking about your attitude, you might want to go back and explain to him carefully that apart from the fact that the doctor he thinks is on duty that day isn't, you also need to tell him which doctor is on duty that day.

This is your job as a nurse, guiding him through it. If he complains later, it won't affect you. It's just basic self-protection.

From what you said, it seems like when he said you had a bad attitude, that was just his projection. But when you accept it, you actually feel aggrieved in your heart, like you've tried your best and worked so hard, and then you get that kind of feedback from someone else, which makes you feel aggrieved. And that part of feeling aggrieved seems to be related to what you said, that since childhood you've always relied on yourself.

In other words, deep down, you're actually a child who needs to be taken care of. This is where you need to make a change from within. Try to take care of your own feelings in life as much as possible, express your needs, and then treat these patients as children in your work. Children don't understand, so they'll think that what they understand is right. At this time, just simply explain to them what is going on, don't be serious with them, and balance the feeling of being aggrieved inside.