I'm not attracted to the man I'm dating on a blind date. He asked me to have dinner with his parents. What should I do?

Hello classmate!

I'm here to help! I'm a teacher who understands the situation.

If it's not what you want, why not just say no?

Oh, why be so obsessed?

It's so important to have a harmonious relationship, and that's not going to happen if you're afraid to have sex. This is something to think about, whether you're in a relationship or married.

It seems like you might not have a great understanding of love and marriage yet.

Love is all about enjoying yourself, appreciating each other's good points, and embracing the moment. It's something you get to experience more of as you go through life, and it's a beautiful journey!

Marriage: It's so important to learn how to tolerate and accept each other, achieve mutual success, and know how to give, so that you can get by.

Making love is a basic thing for adults. I really think you should read the books of Eileen Chang, who said something really wise: "The place leading to a woman's heart is the vagina." She was a rare woman in China who lived with exceptional clarity.

It's totally normal to feel afraid and hesitant sometimes. It might be because your core is a little unstable or you just don't know much about love yet. Either way, it's totally okay to feel this way!

If you don't choose, you might feel like you're going to lose something. But if you do choose, you might feel a little afraid. It can be tough to know what to do! You might feel stuck in the middle, not going forward or backward.

This indecision is just how you deal with the difficulties in life, my friend.

So, it's really important to learn to embrace new experiences and not let fear hold you back all the time.

Good day, I can see the confusion you are facing now. Please accept my best regards.

You are currently experiencing a state of conflict, wherein you are simultaneously longing for intimacy and resisting it.

Please explain the rationale behind this decision.

This may be related to your attachment pattern.

This is typically the result of a relationship with a mother during infancy.

It is possible that at that time, your mother would tend to respond to your emotional cues when she was inclined to do so, and ignore you when she was not.

This results in a more ambivalent attachment pattern in adulthood.

In such cases, it is advisable to seek the guidance of a qualified professional counselor.

If you do not wish to marry immediately, this may be related to your original family.

For instance, your parents' marriage was characterized by poor intimacy.

It is possible that you did not receive sufficient love from your parents during your upbringing. This may lead to concerns about your ability to provide adequate care for a child you may have with your blind date in the future.

Please note that the above factors may or may not be applicable.

If you feel that meeting his parents after only one date is premature, you should be transparent with him.

I dated my husband for a period of six months prior to meeting his parents.

If you are not prepared to enter into matrimony at this time, it does not necessitate remaining in the relationship with the individual in question.

If you agree to meet his parents now, you may inadvertently convey the impression that your relationship with the blind date man is set in stone.

However, given your current indecision, it may be advisable to decline the invitation to meet the man's parents.

In order to allow him the opportunity to make alternative plans for himself.

I hope the issue at hand can be resolved in the near future.

That is all I have to offer at this time.

I hope that my above answer has been helpful and inspiring to you, the questioner. As the answerer, I am committed to studying hard every day.

Best regards, Yixinli Team

Thank you for your interest in our company.

Good day, my name is Xintan Coach Fei Yun. Life is a magnificent journey, not for appreciation, but for flourishing.

It is important to understand one's own feelings in a relationship. The process of getting to know each other better and nurturing the relationship is an essential part of the journey before marriage. The man you met on a blind date asked you to meet his parents after just one meeting. As you have stated, this is a fast pace and seems to be goal-oriented. There are several reasons why this might be the case. He may have a positive impression of you and wants to take things further, or he may be under pressure to get married and is eager to give his parents an answer (to show them whether they like the prospective daughter-in-law). There could be other reasons as well, as people are different and have different ways of doing things. In response to your concerns about marriage and confusion, let's examine them:

It is imperative to respect one's own feelings and not allow them to be influenced by the expectations of others.

Men and women should marry when they are of an appropriate age. When an individual reaches a certain age, whether it is their parents or enthusiastic relatives and friends, they will all form a group to urge them to marry. However, it is important to note that everyone's life trajectory is different. Therefore, just because John is legally old enough to marry, it does not mean that Mary should marry immediately.

Individuals who have obtained a bachelor's degree will typically be between the ages of 23 and 24 when they enter society, having already accrued one to two years of work experience. Those who are in a relationship may expect to marry at around the age of 30. Even those who are college students should endeavor to gain social experience, work experience, and other forms of life experience.

In the event that the other person is eager to invite you to dinner with their parents, you may simply express your views and feelings to them. For example, you might say, "My parents don't approve of meeting the parents too early. We would be well advised to take things slowly to avoid embarrassment for both sides and both sets of parents if it turns out to be a bad match."

Additionally, a polite refusal can be offered.

The so-called heart-melting feeling is also a feeling (emotion) that requires cultivation during the gradual process of getting along with each other. This is in contrast to the practice of "judging a book by its cover" or focusing on external conditions. Marriage involves two families and encompasses all aspects. If both parties intend to marry, they should exercise caution, proceed with caution, and allow themselves time to become accustomed to each other.

It is imperative that both parties demonstrate the requisite respect and adhere to the fundamental tenets of etiquette, even during the initial stages of courtship.

2. Let us now turn our attention to the subject of your apprehensions regarding marriage.

I am unaware of your age or whether you have previously engaged in romantic relationships. You have indicated that you are apprehensive about engaging in sexual intercourse and becoming pregnant.

It is natural to experience a certain degree of trepidation when confronted with the unknown. This is exemplified by the apprehension often felt when first obtaining a driver's license and holding the steering wheel. The prospect of marriage, future married life, family relationships, financial management, having children, and other aspects of life that are unfamiliar can evoke a sense of unease and apprehension.

There are natural laws, as well as laws governing the development of things. "When love is strong, people become intoxicated; when love is deep, the heart never regrets." Once a relationship has been cultivated and gradually heated up, a number of behaviors may occur naturally, including holding hands, kissing, eating together, going for walks, watching movies, and even engaging in more wonderful activities.

It is not uncommon for individuals to choose not to marry or have children. After experiencing a particular situation, their original way of thinking and beliefs may undergo a transformation. It is therefore advisable to adopt a relaxed approach and to accept events as they unfold. As the saying goes, "You can't gain experience unless you experience something." It is beneficial to accumulate some of your own experiences in relationships.

Additionally, individuals engage in the planning of intimate relationships.

A sense of lack of self-confidence, recognition, and acceptance of oneself is pervasive. This phenomenon has its roots in a multitude of factors, including physical conditions, personal circumstances, and family background.

This ultimately gives rise to expectations in intimate relationships and a concomitant fear of entering into such a relationship.

Prioritize self-love before seeking external validation and acceptance from others. To gain the affirmation, recognition, and acceptance of others, one must first accept and approve of oneself. It is imperative to recognize that we cannot give others what we do not possess within ourselves. To foster self-awareness and recognize one's inherent qualities, it is essential to engage in introspection. This process can reveal that one possesses numerous positive attributes, such as being quiet, providing a sense of warmth and reliability to others, and sensitivity.

It is imperative to provide oneself with constant affirmation and to activate the inherent confidence that exists within. While external factors, such as affirmation from others or one's appearance, can provide a transient sense of confidence, they are ultimately unsustainable and will eventually dissipate. Relying on these external sources of confidence can result in a loss of personal agency and the transfer of control over one's life to external influences.

It is important to maintain self-esteem in close relationships, avoiding both servility and arrogance. Adherence to social norms and etiquette is also crucial. When others perceive one to be respectful, they are more likely to respect that person and not underestimate or treat them lightly.

Only individuals who possess self-respect and self-confidence can gain the respect of others. Self-confidence serves as the foundation for self-respect, which in turn represents the pinnacle of self-confidence.

It is my sincere hope that the aforementioned information is beneficial to you. Furthermore, I extend my love to the world.

Should you wish to continue the communication, you are invited to follow my personal homepage, entitled "Heart Exploration Service."

Dear questioner, I think it's great that you've had this encounter! Be grateful for it.

From what you've said, it seems like you're feeling a bit pushed around by your partner's proposal. Let's take a moment to hug and talk through this together.

It's important to be consistent in how you express your feelings.

You said you don't have any feelings for the other person yet, you've only met once, and you've only known each other for a week. You think it's a bit early to commit to a relationship because you're not that familiar with each other and don't know enough about each other. This makes you feel scared, worried, and anxious.

You can actually express these feelings to the other person in a consistent manner.

No matter how much pressure the other person is under from their parents to get married, if you're not ready, haven't made a decision, and know that deciding on a relationship is a two-person thing, you can still express your feelings. Sincerity is key.

If the other person is really sure, then they'll be willing to wait and give you time to get to know each other better before committing to a relationship. If the other person isn't so sure and is only pressured into an arranged marriage,

Then your expression actually gives the other person a chance to think it over.

2. Respect your own feelings.

After all, you've just met, and the other person will still be very accommodating and try to give you the benefit of the doubt. If you don't feel secure and deep down you don't really like the other person, then you need to respect your feelings because sometimes intuition can protect you to a certain extent.

The other person is so eager to get married and proposes meeting the parents of both sides before they've really known each other that long. This can make people feel anxious and uneasy. After all, marriage is a big deal. If you decide to formalize your relationship without even feeling it, this can lead to problems in your future married life.

You think that taking it slow and getting to know each other better before making a commitment will help you feel more grounded and secure. You're absolutely right.

So your body's feelings are also valid. If you respect your own feelings, you'll also be able to win the respect of others. What do you think?

3. Build up your inner strength.

If you're looking to meet your ideal partner, I think it's important to first work on becoming that type of person yourself. This will make it easier for you to attract someone who aligns with your values. If you don't recognize your own education and don't accept yourself, it can impact your choice of spouse.

It doesn't matter what your education level is. If you see yourself as capable and believe that you have your own unique qualities and attractiveness, you'll be able to attract the other half of your heart to you.

If you feel like your inner self is rejecting and pressuring you, and you're not in the best of health, it'll affect your choice of partner. So, you might want to think about regulating your body first. If you feel anxious, restless, or insecure, you should try to satisfy this part of yourself and enhance your inner energy, rather than seeking this kind of deficiency externally.

This way, you won't be easily hurt or disappointed. Life is like this: you'll gradually see your inner self in all the people and things you experience, and then you'll improve your inner self.

When you're rich within, you'll also attract high-energy people, and you won't have to compromise yourself to find your other half. You can choose what's right for you and what suits you, based on your own feelings.

I hope this helps. Best of luck in the interview!

It's really great that you can feel your emotions and know where they come from.

It's really important to understand what your emotional state is like when you ask this question.

If you're feeling anxious, it's totally normal! We all get that way sometimes. But it can make it hard to think clearly and analyze things objectively.

If you're feeling more at peace, your own analysis might be more valuable.

I'm happy to answer your questions! Here are some specific answers:

How long do you think it usually takes to confirm a relationship with a man you've met on a blind date?

It's totally understandable to be afraid to have sex and have children. We all have different feelings about these things! You've mentioned that you'd like to find a smart guy to mix up your genes a bit and not be so stupid. It's great that you're looking for someone who has a high school education or more.

It's so important to look at questions 1 and 2 together. There's no one right answer to when you should have sex. You need to feel safe and comfortable with him first, and then you need to think about your second question, the inexplicable fear, to see which feeling is stronger.

Before we look at this question, it would be really helpful for you to think about why you're feeling this way. Are you feeling afraid of having sex? Or do you not want to have children?

I can see you're worried about having children who might not be as bright as you'd like.

It's totally normal to still be a little afraid of getting hurt during sex or that he'll abandon you after. And it's also totally normal to think about the pain of giving birth.

Or is it because you've always been told you're not as smart as you could be by your parents or others around you?

I'm sure you'll figure it out!

It's totally normal to have certain expectations of your future husband, children, and circumstances. But it's also important to recognize that these expectations might be driven by a lack of self-love and acceptance. It's okay to have ordinary and not-so-good things in your life — that's what makes life interesting! And it's natural to want someone to motivate you. But it's also important to remember that you can't rely on others to make decisions for you. You have to support yourself, and when you do, others will be more likely to help you.

Just imagine for a moment that if you meet someone you're attracted to now, you'll still have these same fears and worries, but your feelings of joy will outweigh your feelings of fear at that time, and you'll choose to be with him. But then what? Do you think you'll still be attracted to him?

I truly believe you have your answer already!

So, instead of asking whether you want to meet his parents for dinner, I think you should focus on resolving these fears of your own, stop relying on others, and analyze the true source of these fears yourself.

I know the words are a little harsh, but they're all the truth, and I really hope they'll be helpful.

Hello! It's totally normal to feel a bit scared and worried when you've just met someone and they've invited you to dinner with their parents.

From what you've shared, it seems like your concerns are about the future of the relationship. It's totally understandable! He's pushing you to meet his parents, which makes you feel like you have to make a commitment right away, while you still have many concerns about getting married and having children and you are not yet mentally prepared.

It's totally normal to feel unsure about whether he's the right person for you. It's not easy when you haven't developed feelings yet. It's natural to want an intimate relationship, but it can feel a bit risky when you're not sure about your feelings.

You've also taken some time to think about your own needs. It seems like you feel like you're not quite rich enough inside, that you don't fully accept yourself, and you're hoping to find a partner who can see and accept your insecurities, support you with empathy, and accompany you on your journey of growth. However, this guy doesn't make you feel like these needs can be met. You don't know each other very well, and it's hard to judge.

It's great that you're so cautious and aware! This is really important for the healthy development of an intimate relationship. It's all about matching the needs of both parties. So, it's a great idea to take some time to think about your own needs. This is the core of exploring intimate relationships.

You could tell him your thoughts. You could say that it's important to you to get to know each other better and that you want to establish a relationship based on a thorough understanding, rather than rushing into it and getting to know each other afterwards. You could also tell him directly that you expect a relationship of equals that grows together and discusses everything together, with mutual respect. You could ask him what he thinks about intimate relationships.

I'd also love to hear if there are any concerns or hesitations about saying no. It can be really tough to express your thoughts and requests directly, especially when you're worried about losing the other person's favour.

It's totally normal to have these worries. It just shows that you're not quite sure yet, but you're excited about building a relationship. But as you said, conflicts are bound to happen in relationships.

Avoiding the issue won't help anyone. It'll just lead to more problems! So, you've got to face up to the issues in your relationship. Things like whether to have dinner with your partner's parents or when to meet. Then you can work out a solution that suits you both.

You know, you might as well think of this as a "stress test" for your relationship. It'll help you see if you can find a way to meet each other's needs.

Dear questioner, thank you for your question.

I appreciate your current confusion and anxiety. I understand that making matchmaking and relationship choices requires careful consideration and emotional investment. I empathize with you and offer some detailed analysis and advice in the hope that it will provide you with emotional support.

First of all, I can sense your sincerity and expectations in relationships. It seems that you are seeking a partner with whom you can connect on an emotional level, support each other, and grow together.

It is natural to long for love and to pursue it. Everyone deserves the right to do so. However, there is often a discrepancy between reality and ideals, which can lead to feelings of conflict and unease when meeting potential marriage partners.

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I can appreciate your concerns about the man you met through matchmaking. His ulterior motives may have made you feel pressured and scared.

It is understandable to have concerns about being pressured into a relationship that may not align with your personal values. Marriage is a significant decision that requires a genuine emotional connection and shared beliefs.

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I can also sense some feelings of inadequacy and unease. It seems that you may have some concerns about your educational background and physical condition, which might make you a bit more cautious and hesitant when it comes to relationship choices.

I would like to suggest that everyone has their own unique characteristics and value, and that education and physical conditions cannot completely determine a person's value and charm. Perhaps you could try to be more confident and brave in facing yourself, and believe that you will find someone who truly appreciates you.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider the following:

In such a situation, it might be helpful to try to remain calm and rational, and to resist the temptation to let external urges and pressures influence your decision. It's worth remembering that relationships take time to cultivate and deepen, so it's probably best not to rush things.

It might be helpful to allow yourself and the man you are dating some time to get to know each other better and for him to show you who he really is.

Additionally, communication is an essential tool for addressing challenges. You have the option to express your feelings and concerns openly with the man you're dating, and you can gently let him know that you require some time and space.

If he is someone who truly understands you, he will respect your decision and provide you with the support and understanding you need.

It is also important to trust your instincts and feelings. If you do not feel a connection with the man you are meeting, it may be best to refrain from pursuing a relationship.

It's important to remember that relationships don't happen overnight. You can't force a relationship to work; you can only have a stable and happy relationship if you truly like someone.

In addition, I empathize with your expectations and anxieties about the future. It is understandable that you hope to find a partner who can progress together with you and support each other, which is a beautiful wish.

It is also important to understand that finding such a partner does not happen overnight. It requires time and effort. During this period, it is beneficial to focus on your own personal growth and development. This will help you become a better version of yourself and feel more content.

In this way, when you meet someone who is a good fit for you, you will feel more confident and at ease with him.

Regarding the interview you mentioned, I am optimistic that you will be able to showcase your talent and strength. The interview is not only an opportunity to demonstrate your professional skills and experience, but also to convey your confidence and composure.

Regardless of the outcome, it is important to maintain a positive outlook and self-assurance, and to believe that you can achieve your goals.

Ultimately, I would like to suggest that, regardless of the path you choose, it is important to believe in yourself and to adhere to your principles and bottom line. It is also worth noting that relationships require mutual effort and commitment from both parties. Only when you find someone with whom you are truly compatible can you hope to experience true happiness and joy.

Until then, I hope you will find ways to love yourself and cherish every day.

I hope these words can offer you some warmth and support. I hope you find the person who is meant for you on your journey of relationships and create a brighter future together. At the same time, I also wish you the best in tomorrow's interview and hope you achieve your career aspirations.

I wish you the best of luck!

Hello! I'm Strawberry!

Because of their different personalities, relationships will be different for different people, and that's a wonderful thing! Some people seem to be born to be familiar with others and can become close in all relationships at once. Others are slow to warm up and need to spend more time together to determine whether a relationship is worth continuing, which gives them the chance to really get to know their partner and build a strong foundation for the relationship.

It's all about different world views and different levels of acceptance!

The questioner met with the matchmaker last week. The matchmaker was blown away by the questioner in all aspects and said he was absolutely thrilled with the questioner. So the matchmaker, who has only known the questioner for a week but has only met once, asked the questioner to go to dinner with his parents.

Although she knows that the purpose of the blind date is to get married, she finds the behavior of the blind date, who only cares about his own feelings and pace, more or less unacceptable. One is that the time spent together is short, and neither party really knows each other. The other is that the questioner does not have much feeling for the blind date.

In the face of the questioner's hesitation, the matchmaker's meaning is that they like each other's eyes and they get along well. Then the goal of getting married right away is not a problem! If you want to continue to get to know each other, then getting married and spending more time together will help you get to know each other better. At this point, why waste each other's time? You're already on the same page!

From the words of the questioner, it can be understood that the matchmaker's expression shows that his views on marriage are different from the questioner's. Marriage is more like a kind of shopping for the other person, which is a great way to find your perfect match! At first, if they think it is suitable, they will quickly decide to get married to prevent other factors from arising in the middle. However, the other person ignores the fact that marriage is no joke. Without a sufficient understanding of each other, if they casually enter into marriage, they may encounter different conflicts due to differences in values, which will affect their relationship.

There's no one-size-fits-all answer to how long you should spend with a potential partner before deciding to get serious. As the questioner said, they judge by the level of excitement they feel. Different people pursue different goals, so the length of time naturally varies—and that's a good thing!

Some people can get married quickly after meeting for the first time! It can be said that such a decision is more determined on impulse and so-called love at first sight. Such feelings come quickly and go quickly, but what's left is a feeling of excitement for the future!

Why not dive right in and enter into this relationship?

Our education during our formative years plays a big role in how we approach marriage and dating. It's amazing how the ideas we learn from others can influence our perspective on these topics. It's like we're both excited and a little nervous about exploring this new realm of possibilities.

☀️Communication: The questioner felt really comfortable when spending time with their blind date. When the questioner expressed their views, the other person listened patiently without arguing. The questioner thought that this might be because the relationship had not yet been confirmed, so the other person was being accommodating and trying to make a good impression.

The questioner's idea is totally doable! Without knowing each other, it's important to be careful about revealing too much of your true nature, as it could end the relationship at any time. So, a short period of getting along with each other doesn't necessarily mean that the other person is right for you.

The questioner is holding back from this relationship because the other person didn't discuss their feelings with him and respect his choice. It's also clear that the other person is not attentive and lacks patience. But there's still hope!

Facing the other person's different ideas is an opportunity for the questioner to communicate with the other person, express their own thoughts, and explain that they cannot accept making major decisions at such a rapid pace. If the other person cannot accept the questioner's gradual approach, the result will be obvious, but there's no need to worry about that!

☀️Criteria for choosing a spouse: The questioner has clear criteria for choosing a spouse. Perhaps some of the criteria can be adjusted according to the partner, but the more important ones will determine whether the relationship grows warmer as you get to know each other. They will also help you to recognize whether your partner has certain strengths or weaknesses, and you can then decide whether you want to work with them or not.

The questioner has a strong perception that a high school education is superior to a technical secondary school education due to concerns about education. She has an adult technical secondary school education, but she did not get into high school, which has made it challenging for her to recognize her own abilities. However, she is excited to invest more in the relationship, despite the influence of the matchmaking criteria and the other person's technical secondary school education without a diploma.

Guo Degang once said something really impressive: "People can be without a diploma, but they cannot be without culture." It's true! A diploma is sometimes only superficial, and having culture is what determines whether a person can reach the IQ standard we are pursuing.

☀️ According to reality: The questioner wants to find a partner who can support each other and make progress together. From the description, I understand that the questioner's blind date is a firefighter. Firefighters usually need to stick to their posts and can only go home briefly during their shifts.

The questioner has the exciting opportunity to gradually develop a favorable impression of the other person over time. However, it's also important to consider the reality of the situation. If they get married, will the questioner be able to accept this kind of married life where they are apart for long periods of time? During these days apart, how can they maintain stability and protect the relationship?

Absolutely! When the other person cannot take care of the family because of work, it's so important to be there for them. You can show your love and support by understanding their situation and being tolerant. Your answer shows how much you care!

I really hope my answer is helpful to the questioner! Best wishes!