I'm often afraid that someone will send me a message. What should I do?

Hello! I totally get where you're coming from. I think a lot of people can relate to what you're going through. We're all glued to our phones and computers these days, and there's so much to keep up with every day.

It's totally normal to feel a bit nervous when you're around new people. It's just a kind of worry, which we all feel sometimes. But it's nothing to worry about!

Social emotions are something we all feel in our hearts. They're a reflection of whether our needs are being met in our relationships with others.

We all have friends who we feel totally at ease with, who make us feel relaxed and positive. And we also have friends who we feel a bit distant from when we're around them.

It's totally normal! It just shows that in front of certain people, they make you feel a certain degree of social anxiety.

For example, we can all relate to worrying about saying the wrong thing, worrying that the other person will be unhappy if we don't reply, or worrying about what other people will say.

It's totally normal to rely on external evaluations to understand yourself, in addition to your own understanding of yourself. If you have a lot of friends, you'll feel like you're a popular person. And if you have very few friends, you'll feel like you're not attractive enough.

I didn't want to reply to other people's messages, but I was worried that not replying would make other people unhappy. In fact, what I was worried about was, "What if she thinks badly of me if I don't reply?"

This is a great example of social anxiety based on the evaluation of others.

Let me give you an example. Imagine you walk into a shopping mall, and there are so many shops and products! You see all kinds of advertisements, and salespeople politely try to sell you products and services.

At this time, it's really important to make sure you're buying things you really need. It's totally normal not to buy everything you see!

The "deal" is like the relationship you establish with a friend. You are attracted to each other and you both help each other out in ways that are important to you.

So you can become friends! Constantly selling to you is like someone who keeps messaging you and you want to reject them. He can't meet your needs, but if you don't reject him and buy his stuff, you are meeting his needs.

These aren't true friends, sweetheart. That's why you feel so difficult.

But don't beat yourself up over it! You shouldn't feel guilty about not buying other people's products. And you shouldn't feel guilty or self-blame for not replying to certain people's messages or not chatting with certain people.

You don't have to do it if you don't want to.

Learning to say no is a great skill to have! It shows that you have good self-esteem, the ability to speak up for yourself, and that you're a happy person. It also shows that you're good at interacting with others.

If you think you could use some help in this area, I highly recommend reading more self-help books on the subject. You'll be amazed at how much better you'll feel when you strengthen your inner self and are determined to be yourself!

In a lifetime, we'll meet so many people and make countless acquaintances. It's totally normal to have just a few close friends.

If you find yourself wanting to end a conversation quickly, it might be a sign that your friend isn't meeting your psychological needs. It's okay to feel this way! We can allow this uncomfortable feeling to exist, acknowledge its existence, and accept it ourselves.

Everyone is different. Some people are more introverted, while others are extroverted. Those who are naturally self-protective may not feel comfortable sharing their inner experiences with everyone. There's absolutely no need to become a "sharer," a "show-off," or someone who "flaunts" themselves.

And finally, be kind to yourself! The fact that she wants to message you every day shows that you are still quite attractive to her.

She wants to establish a relationship with you, which also means that in some ways you meet her criteria for establishing a friendship.

I just wanted to wish you the best of luck!

Hello!

I'm an intern listener on the platform, and I'm excited to share my insights!

As you meet new people, you can absolutely "get along" with them! But after you've connected, when you receive messages from them, the feeling of "getting along" at that time doesn't necessarily help to build a lasting friendship.

In your experience, true friends are only made by being genuine. So, how do you forge new friendships?

How can we conquer this feeling of fear inside?

I'm really curious to know what the questioner thinks about the current rapid development of online social media! In my personal experience, before artificial intelligence existed, a person could only establish relationships with the people around them.

In this case, there are good relationships and there are those where there is just no getting along. Now more and more of our communication is migrating to Internet platforms, which is a great thing!

The Internet is an amazing tool that brings people closer together! Whether we are communicating face-to-face or across a screen, we all have the opportunity to interact with others in new and exciting ways.

One of the most important things to think about when you're interacting with others is how your inner emotions affect the way you act and react.

It's amazing how emotions can be a part of everything we do! In a crowd, emotions can really come to the surface because of how intense the interactions can be. It's so interesting to see how you feel:

I'm excited to see what happens next! I'm learning a lot and I'm ready to take on whatever comes next.

I feel so guilty for not wanting to share with you! Our relationship has become a hot potato before it even started.

When you're with your close friends, you can be sure they'll have your back when you need to vent.

Absolutely! There's a way to enlarge your own safe room so that even if someone who is not so familiar comes in, you are not afraid of exposing your emotions. And if they do get exposed and the room is blown apart, you'll be ready for it!

It's the perfect time to add a new room to the house! Take your time, and have fun designing it perfectly.

Now, let's dive into the second element we absolutely must consider in our interactions: value and meaning!

Just think for a moment about all the amazing things that come from a friendship that has been carefully nurtured!

Friendship is all about tolerance and love! When you need to talk or share your inner feelings, your friends will be there for you, no question!

The sense of connection is something that just keeps getting stronger as the years go by. Even when there are conflicts and misunderstandings, it's still a relationship that's close to your heart!

Friendship in relationships gives us a wonderful sense of value and meaning. But in most of the relationships in our lives, we don't yet fully appreciate the incredible opportunity to treasure each other in a truly spiritual way.

It's not easy to keep an open mind in different social situations. But it's worth it! A sense of value and meaning doesn't just appear out of thin air. If you don't make it real, it'll just disappear when you wake up.

But the sense of value and meaning that has been forged will be so much more! It is actualized in life, with lively characters participating in it. You are not just a small actor, but a great director!

.

Now, let's dive into the third element that's essential for successful interactions: methods and approaches!

Now, let's dive back into the world of methods and approaches! We'll explore the fascinating concept of the stop-gap approach.

But how do you heal? The answer is Traditional Chinese medicine or Western medicine!

Radical treatment or conservative therapy? Absolutely! We need to give "informed consent" to both.

Let me use an analogy to illustrate this. If you tidy up your spiritual courtyard with someone else meddling, you might end up with something you don't want. But here's the good news! You can resolve internal conflicts and contradictions by embracing your heart with open arms.

And carefully untie the knot around your heart!

The person who started the problem is also the person who can solve it! May the questioner find the solution easily!

Dear Sir/Madam,

Time is a valuable resource, and it is important to ensure that it is not wasted on unproductive activities. This approach is not uncommon in an era that values individuality and encourages self-expression. However, there is still room for improvement when it comes to the perception that "you are afraid of people sending you messages...".

Are you reluctant to respond to messages due to time constraints, uncertainty about how to decline, or a lack of confidence in communicating with others? Identifying the underlying cause is essential for finding an effective solution.

It is only natural to feel uneasy when we are confronted with the unknown or unexpected. However, fear is an overreaction. By objectively assessing the situation, the information that causes us discomfort, and the sources of that information, we can make a reasonable distinction, which will help us identify the root cause of our emotional response.

Some emotions or reactions are innate and are called personality traits in psychology. While we can adjust them through acquired efforts, fundamentally transforming them is not entirely impossible. The ultimate point of value measurement lies in ourselves, that is, our comfort zone of cognition. The driving force behind all of our self-improvement is to live a better life, experience more pleasure, and pursue values at a deeper level. Therefore, when we can happily accept our current situation, we have already achieved our goal.

In today's digital age, information is constantly available to us, regardless of time zones or boundaries. In the current global environment and the internet era, we are constantly exposed to a vast amount of information. This information ranges from the history of the universe to the cellular composition of moss, and it is both abstract and concrete. The rapid development of technology has provided us with more channels than ever before to learn about the world around us. However, it has also made it more challenging to maintain clarity and decisiveness in the vast sea of information.

Human desires are fueled and inflamed, and if we fail to set limits, it is only a matter of time before we drown. However, the capacity to feel awe or sense a threat may be a valuable asset. After all, the reason humans have been able to dominate the planet over other primates is because of our self-awareness.

Human sensitivity to things, or the so-called sixth sense, is not a coincidence. It is the life code engraved in our genes after millions of years of evolution. This innate ability to inherit information has allowed humans to seek out benefits and avoid harm, to leverage their strengths and avoid their weaknesses, to thrive in a harsh ecological environment, and ultimately to become the dominant species on the planet.

It is not that humans are bigger than dinosaurs or stronger than wild beasts. Rather, it is our ability to distinguish and use information that allows us to leverage our strengths and become the top of the food chain. Currently, the popularization and proliferation of digitalization and information media are also testing and selecting people on a deeper spiritual level.

Fear inspires respect. It is not a weakness to feel fear; it is an opportunity to reflect. Treat your feelings with care and identify their source.

Good morning,

In your interactions with colleagues, do you hold yourself to a high standard of openness, enthusiasm, and sincerity? Do you have a personal code of conduct for forming and maintaining professional relationships?

However, it appears that you do not fully align with this guideline. You have opted to adhere to certain rules for fostering connections in order to circumvent your inner apprehensions, which has led to a sense of being constrained by these rules.

For example, you may have formed a friendship with someone you would prefer not to have as a colleague. However, you have decided to maintain the relationship. Once the friendship is in place, you find yourself holding the individual to a high standard of conduct. You feel obliged to share information with them, otherwise you experience a sense of guilt, as if you are not treating them fairly.

The objective of the exam is to achieve a score of 90 or above. If the desired outcome is not met, there is a tendency to self-criticize, experience feelings of guilt, and perceive a personal deficiency in one's ability and effort. The focus is on the score alone, without a comprehensive assessment of the underlying reasons for not attaining the desired level, or the specific circumstances surrounding the examination, including one's learning state, mood, or external factors. The standard is set at a single score, which creates an undue burden of self-expectation.

Such an approach might be perceived as unduly harsh and punitive. It is possible that my performance during the examination was adversely affected by a lack of sufficient rest the previous night.

It is possible that at that time, our hearts were tired and our energy was focused on other things, leaving us with insufficient energy for studying. It is also possible that a certain teacher triggered our emotions and distracted us from studying.

If we can identify the specific situation, will we be more compassionate and understanding towards ourselves, and less harsh and demanding? By doing so, we will be liberated from a single standard of judgment and will respect each of our current states more.

This approach will allow us to conserve our energy, allowing us to plan the next step of our learning with greater clarity and focus.

However, if we fail to consider our specific situation, we are merely demanding and criticizing ourselves, expecting to achieve a score of 90 or above. Over time, such self-expectations will likely result in a less positive approach to learning, characterized by significant pressure, concern about performance, and eventual dislike of the learning process.

The same can be said of making friends. If you insist on behaving in a certain way with every friend, without taking into account your genuine feelings at the time, your heart will eventually reject such expectations.

Upon receipt of a message from a colleague, one may experience a sense of pressure. This pressure often stems from internal standards regarding the appropriate treatment of colleagues. In such instances, individuals may find themselves striving to meet a certain standard, even when they may not be inclined to engage in conversation or share information.

At this juncture, there is a discrepancy between your self-expectations and your inner feelings, which may result in a sense of internal conflict and sadness. You may be concerned that your friend will send you another message, as this could lead to further internal conflict and anxiety regarding your response.

I believe that many of us are constrained by external standards, which can lead to difficulties in our lives. We often feel compelled to live according to these standards, despite our genuine feelings and desires. This can result in unnecessary stress and emotional distress.

For example, some individuals may experience discomfort or dissatisfaction when attempting to form new relationships, while others may encounter similar challenges when interacting with their romantic partners, at work, when preparing for an event, or even when engaging in basic activities like eating or dressing. These feelings of unease and discontent can manifest in a multitude of forms, affecting individuals in various settings and contexts.

If we can perceive that the root of our difficulties does not lie in external people and events, but in our own internal standards for how things should be, which are overly harsh and obsessive, then we can choose to let go of these standards, feel the true feelings in our hearts in that moment, and choose how we would like to respond to that moment. This will result in a simpler and happier outcome.

For instance, when you are with colleagues, whether they are people you have a good rapport with or your closest colleagues. When they contact you, it is advisable to focus on your own thoughts and feelings rather than on how you should respond to them.

Re-focus on your own needs and feelings. Ask yourself whether you are ready to share at this moment, or whether you have unresolved personal issues that require your attention.

If you wish to share, then do so. If you do not wish to share or communicate, then inform your colleague in a friendly and honest manner, and then proceed to address your own feelings.

It is important to be flexible in how you interact with your colleagues. Be honest with yourself about your standards for how you should treat your colleagues. This will allow you to adapt your behaviour in a way that is appropriate for the situation. For example, you may be willing to share information with your colleagues today, but not tomorrow. It is crucial to respect your own feelings and moods, and express them in a friendly way. This will help you to feel more confident in your interactions with colleagues.

I hope this information is useful to you. Best regards,

Hello, I'm Strawberry!

It's clear to me that this questioner's problem is a social problem that many people have. And that's great! It means there's a solution out there for everyone. The questioner doesn't need to feel that having this kind of thought is abnormal. And it's wonderful that the questioner's desire to share is only directed at good friends. They only want to chat with friends they consider good friends. And if other people send you a message, you can simply ignore it.

The questioner said that only people they accept can really chat comfortably. This is great! It means that if you have the same world view and common topics, it will resonate more with the questioner. They'll feel at ease even when there are no topics to chat about.

The questioner isn't afraid of other people sending messages to him. He's just not interested in keeping up the conversation when others are just looking to share. If he keeps acting this way, it will make others think, so he's trying to find a way to let people know he's not interested without being rude.

What if someone sends you a message all the time?

What you really fear is having your focus dispersed, and you can do something about it!

The questioner believes that if you want to make friends, you have to be serious about it and interact with your friends. We all know that maintaining a relationship requires hard work, but it's worth it! Having too many friends can be challenging, but it's an opportunity to expand your social circle. If you can't pay attention to your friends, they will think otherwise, so make the most of your time!

So, the questioner is a little afraid of people sending him messages because he's worried that he'll have to spend more energy maintaining the relationship. But if he spends too much energy on it, he'll naturally not be able to pay attention to some of his friends. And these friends may gradually distance themselves from him or their relationship will no longer be as deep as before. But the questioner would rather interact with the friends he wants to!

You have the right to socialize according to your abilities! If you don't like it when others send you messages, you don't have to keep them company just because they want to share. Treat them politely!

Let's dive into the real reason for refusing some social interactions!

Socializing is a wonderful part of our society. While some people say that they can be fine on their own, I say that's just self-comforting. We need friends, we need to socialize, and we need to integrate ourselves into groups.

The questioner doesn't want to spend more time and energy dealing with more people, which is totally understandable! There are so many levels of social relationships. Not all social relationships have to be at the level of best friends. If others treat the questioner as their best friend, the questioner does not necessarily have to do the same. So if others send messages, the questioner does not need to put pressure on themselves. If the other person's behavior does affect your normal life, you can explain directly to the other person or not respond. The questioner's attitude will be understood by others, and they'll be able to see that you're not afraid to set boundaries!

Sometimes, being afraid of socializing doesn't mean we're arrogant and don't like too many friends. It just means we're afraid of making mistakes and offending others in interactions without realizing it, leaving a bad impression. But there's no need to worry! It's simply a lack of self-confidence, which we can easily overcome.

● Embrace your emotions and listen to your inner voice!

You don't want to make contact because you're afraid of other people sending you messages. The fact that you're using the word "fear" rather than "disgust" or "resistance" shows that you're ready to face your fears head-on! You're also afraid of not being able to handle all the relationships well, but you're going to be just fine.

So why not choose the initiative in such behavior? This may have something to do with the character of the questioner. You are afraid of rejecting others and being criticized by others, but you want to follow your heart's desire. It seems that there are two little people pulling at you in your mind, but you can choose which one you listen to!

The good news is that you can try meditation, create a quiet environment, relax, feel every part of your body, let your body tell you what you want, and listen to the voice inside you.

I really hope my answer helps the questioner! Wishing you the best!

Hello. This is the second time I've come to this platform to answer a question. After reading your description, I'm going to briefly express my thoughts and opinions.

It's clear this interpersonal issue is causing you significant distress. I've carefully reviewed your description and am committed to understanding your concerns.

First of all, let me be clear: what you described is perfectly normal. We are all human, ordinary, and concrete people.

Specific problems must be analyzed on a case-by-case basis.

I only want to share with that good friend of mine, and I can only really chat comfortably with people I really accept.

You don't want to make friends with a lot of people. That's fine. You are the master of your own relationships. You can choose to keep the friends you think are worth it.

I feel guilty because I don't want to share with them.

This puts you in a dilemma. You feel guilty for not giving the same response to some friends, but you know the intimacy has not reached that level. Our energy and energy are limited. We can only leave the most important things to the people we think are right. Others can politely refuse with respect.

I only send messages to people I really trust and are close to me. The friends who send me messages are also very close, but I have not reached that step yet. What do I need to do to reach that step? Time.

This is likely related to acceptance. People don't know each other equally well, their relationships are not the same, their modes of getting along are not the same, and their status in each other's hearts is not the same. Time is only one dimension for measuring feelings. What matters most is the boundaries you set for yourself in interpersonal relationships.

You are the master of your own boundaries. You can choose to be close or stay away, and you must maintain interpersonal relationships that make you feel comfortable!

I don't want to spend my time thinking about each of my friends. I didn't want to be friends with them in the first place.

I get scared of this and scared of that. But it's true that you can talk about anything.

You're right. You can only get along with someone if you really click. And you don't want to spend time with someone you don't get along with. You're very clear about what you want, and that's good.

Appropriately let go of some burdens and follow your heart's desires to get close, accept, or distance yourself. Good relationships enhance one's sense of happiness.

I know you will be happy and free from trouble.

I know it helps you.

The world and I love you.

Good day, question asker. I can see the confusion you are facing right now, and I extend my support.

Please be aware that you are currently experiencing some interpersonal issues. I would like to offer you my support in this matter.

I am also concerned about receiving messages from individuals who may have ulterior motives.

They will also inquire about the status of the gym and request to replenish their membership.

I will then inform them that I am requesting a refund for the private coaching sessions.

Then they will inquire as to whether they will still consider going to the gym in the future.

I will then inform them that I do not require their consideration.

It would be preferable for them to be in a different department, as their actions should not affect my withdrawal from the course.

Furthermore, I am concerned about individuals who only interact with me on social media when they require assistance. These individuals often have ulterior motives and may not be genuine in their requests.

They will either send me a message requesting that I not withdraw from the course or asking me to provide them with financial assistance.

In such instances, I typically refrain from responding.

Indeed, I am now able to acknowledge that a message was sent in a positive manner.

If I am unable to assist him, I will inform him directly and promptly. This is a more professional approach than leaving him in the dark.

The reason for your aversion to receiving messages from others is likely due to feelings of anxiety.

If necessary, I recommend seeking the assistance of a professional counselor to address the aforementioned issue.

I hope that the issue you are experiencing can be resolved in the near future.

I have nothing further to add at this time.

I hope my above answer is helpful and inspiring to you. I am available to respond to any further questions you may have.

At Yixinli, we extend our warmest regards to you and the entire world. Best wishes!

Hello, I can see from your description that you are troubled. Before we get into the issue, if you allow, I would like to give you a big hug first, hoping to give you some support!

It seems like you're struggling with how to express your refusal. Typically, the person in the relationship who's the primary caregiver has a harder time saying "no." They worry that their "no" will hurt the other person.

So, you'll reply to messages as soon as you can. Over time, this can cause stress and unhappiness, and it might even feel like a burden.

You mentioned you don't want to spend too much time with every friend, which is totally understandable. We all have different levels of closeness with people, including friends. It's not realistic to expect to have an intimate relationship with everyone at once.

For friends you want to keep in touch with, you can spend more time with them and chat about anything that's on your mind. For friends you don't feel as close to, you can say no to their requests, but do it kindly. This way, you're taking care of your needs while still maintaining a good relationship.

These are just my personal views, for reference only. Take care of yourself.

Hello, question asker.

After reading your description, I can see why you're anxious and I'm not sure what to suggest.

I think the questioner wants to be able to handle the relationships with other friends well, and at the same time wants these friends to also minimize sending messages to you, so as to avoid causing the questioner any distress.

From what the questioner said, it seems like she's okay with sending messages and chatting with close friends but not so much with getting too close to other friends. But she also feels like this is not good and that she has to get closer to them.

I actually think this is pretty normal behavior and feeling. We all have close friends and ordinary friends. I also have close friends I've known for over ten years and ordinary friends I've known for less than ten years. I treat them differently. With close friends, I have in-depth exchanges and connections with them, while with ordinary friends, I just greet them and chat about trivial matters. I'm a bit lazy when it comes to processing information, so I can't always reply to messages in a timely manner. Two weeks ago, an old schoolmate sent me a message in the evening, and I replied to it the next morning. I was surprised, right?

I really had something to do that day and forgot. It wasn't really anything important. If it's urgent, they know I won't reply to messages, so they'll call me, especially on weekends. My boss wants to talk to me about something on the weekend, but he won't send me a message; he'll just call me directly. It's more convenient that way. I'm comfortable with my actions and I accept them.

It's important for the questioner to understand what's behind their question.

"I wasn't really keen on being friends with them because I was worried about this and that."

I think ordinary friends are still okay, but it is indeed a bit difficult to connect and communicate deeply. My advice is to just go with the flow! It's just the kind of thing where you meet and say hello.

What's the underlying issue here?

What are you afraid of? The questioner can make a list of their concerns.

Then, gradually become aware of the fear and what it's trying to convey.

I think the questioner really needs to be understood by his friends. For example, if you don't like to reply to messages, but you have to, and you feel that your friends don't understand how you feel. Also, the questioner may not think that if someone sends you a message, you should reply to it. Not replying is wrong, and replying is polite.

The questioner can be aware of this part. If there is, seeing is healing, and it will gradually get better in the future.

I only want to share with that one good friend of mine, and I can only really chat comfortably with people I really accept.

This shows you don't want to make friends with a lot of people. Who cares? You're the master of your own relationships. Sharing is a good thing, and you can choose to keep the friends you think are worth it.

I feel guilty because I don't want to share as much with them. This puts you in a dilemma: not giving some friends an equal response makes you feel guilty, but you really don't feel close to them.

Our energy and vitality are limited, and we reserve the most important things for the people we think are right. It is perfectly fine to politely refuse others while maintaining respect.

I only send messages to people I trust and am close to. The friends who send me messages are also very close, but I haven't reached that stage yet. I will reach that stage when I'm ready.

This is where acceptance comes in. People don't know each other equally well, their relationships are not the same, their modes of getting along are not the same, and their status in each other's hearts is not the same. Time is only one dimension for measuring relationships. The most important thing is the boundaries you set for yourself in interpersonal interactions.

You are the master of your own boundaries. You decide whether to be close or stay away, and you must maintain relationships that make you feel comfortable!

I don't want to put so much thought into every friend. I didn't want to be friends with them in the first place.

I get scared about this and that, but it's true that we get along well.

Good day, my name is Kelly.

After reviewing your comments, I believe you may have some reservations about certain individuals in your personal relationships. Could you please elaborate on the duration of these issues?

I have had similar experiences. It was when I was feeling down. I felt that I didn't have the energy to socialize with some friends, and I even avoided them to some extent. However, I am curious as to why you feel this pressure from some friends. I have summarized these individuals into the following categories:

1. The majority of acquaintances you have formed in the past were superficial and did not allow you to open up to them. In the past, you may have had to maintain social relationships for work-related reasons, and you did not consider the nature of our relationship. During the pandemic, I personally felt a lot of pressure, and I found that there was little to discuss, so it became more or less a forced interaction.

High sensitivity is a valuable attribute. The book states that highly sensitive individuals seek deep connections and are less inclined towards horizontal relationships. I am highly sensitive, and I am curious to know if you share this trait.

2. There is also a type of person who engages in self-talk. When they interact with me, they do not consider my feelings, as if they are simply expressing themselves. Over time, I find that my emotions are affected. As soon as I see their WeChat, I feel a sense of resentment. I believe that people communicate and interact with each other. I have gradually distanced myself from these types of friendships. Individuals may also experience fluctuations in energy levels. When my energy is high, I am able to connect with them. When my energy is low, I feel the pressure.

In my opinion, the optimal friendship is one where there is mutual understanding and a deep emotional connection.

Kind regards,

It is important to allow ourselves to accept all of our true feelings. If the questioner feels this kind of pressure, they should express it directly.

A: Identify a reason to decline the interaction and engage in a brief, polite conversation with the other party. It is preferable to wait until there is a mutual desire to communicate before resuming contact. This approach avoids any potential hurt feelings.

B: Engage in a reflective dialogue with yourself to gain insight into your emotions. Determine whether these feelings originate from within or from external sources.

Starting out is essential for a more favorable outcome.

Loneliness can also be a valuable experience during the process of personal growth.

If you have numerous contacts who proactively reach out and communicate with you, it indicates that you are someone who is sought after and liked by others. This is an asset in any professional setting. You should be a kind and understanding individual who is likeable.

If we have had positive experiences, then the friends in our lives with whom we can communicate openly are a valuable asset. This is why the ancients said, "A true friend is hard to find."

Mu Xin also observed that friends from childhood are like childhood clothes that you outgrow when you grow up.

As we mature, our social circles evolve. Some relationships end, while others endure. If the latter is true, it is a testament to the strength of the bond.

It is important to remember that your feelings are what matter most.

I would like to take this opportunity to express my love and appreciation for the world and for you.

Good day, landlord. My name is Xing Ying, a psychological counselor and a national level-3 counselor.

I have meticulously reviewed your concerns and endeavored to comprehend your trepidation and the nature of this apprehension.

Only individuals who genuinely accept others are able to engage in comfortable discourse.

I anticipate that I will experience feelings of guilt once more due to my reluctance to engage in further communication.

It appears that you are disinclined to engage in extensive discourse with numerous individuals and to divulge personal information. Conversely, you experience a sense of compassion for others when you decline to participate or respond.

It appears that you are in a challenging situation. You are experiencing a conflict between your desire to avoid responding to the message and your sense of guilt if you do not reply or reject it.

Does your trepidation stem from a sense of embarrassment?

This challenging scenario inevitably resurfaces, and there is no definitive solution. Those who do not experience trepidation may eventually develop apprehension over time. Let us examine strategies for navigating this delicate situation and potentially fostering a more positive outcome.

The initial step is to accept that some of the thoughts in question are indeed accurate and that there is nothing inherently problematic about them.

I typically confide in a select few individuals whom I consider to be trustworthy and reliable.

Such communications are typically conveyed to individuals with whom the sender has established a trusting and intimate relationship.

[The practice of sharing only with trusted individuals is a normal human behavior]

Individuals exhibit a range of interpersonal distances and levels of intimacy. Some individuals are extroverted and display a proclivity for open communication, while others maintain a more reserved demeanor and are more reticent to divulge personal information.

The act of respecting the differences between people entails the acknowledgment that each individual possesses unique characteristics that differentiate them from others. This implies the acceptance of the fact that one's own identity is not identical to that of others.

I experience feelings of guilt due to my perceived deficiency in the capacity to share information to the same extent as others.

It is not uncommon for individuals to have varying levels of inclination towards sharing personal experiences.

One should not experience guilt due to the fact that others are more inclined to share than oneself. It is an individual's prerogative to select with whom they wish to share and with whom they do not, including the decision to share at all.

Your personality is also within the range of normalcy.

I have several friends with whom I share a similar approach to things. Despite the lack of reciprocal disclosure and minimal responsiveness to my statements, our relationship remains unaffected and I retain a positive regard for them.

However, I am not inclined to invest a significant amount of time in each of my friends.

It is not uncommon for individuals to desire less effort from their friends.

Social relationships exhibit a range of degrees of intimacy, with friends falling into three main categories: casual friends, close friends, and bosom friends. The genuine emotions that arise in our hearts naturally prompt us to seek closer connections with those who are more intimately associated with us. Consequently, the distribution of energy is also uneven.

It is also important to consider the limitations of human energy. Even if one wishes to do so, it is not feasible to spend a significant amount of time on each individual.

Step 2: Examine the relationship between feelings of guilt and fear and one's internal thoughts and beliefs.

Despite the fact that those friends who send me messages are also very close, I have not yet reached that point.

Do you have any thoughts pertaining to the notions of "should" and "must"?

In the event that others demonstrate trust and benevolence, it is incumbent upon me to reciprocate.

2. If someone shares with me, I should reciprocate. Even if I do not share, I should listen to what she has to say and demonstrate the same level of interest, otherwise the other person will be hurt.

During our formative years, adults instilled in us the importance of responding to greetings and conversations from others. We were also taught that ignoring others was an impolite and disrespectful act. However, as we matured, we found ourselves constrained by rigid rules such as "should" and "must," which led us to believe that ignoring or rejecting others was similarly impolite and disrespectful. This internal conflict between our upbringing and our evolving values has left us with a sense of inability to live freely according to our own wishes, resulting in a constant state of internal turmoil.

Indeed, individuals who are worthy of one's esteem are adept at respecting the boundaries and rights of others, as well as their preferences. When we share with others and they express disinterest or disapproval, we demonstrate respect for their decision and recognize that their response is not a reflection of our character, but rather a matter of personal taste. This principle applies equally to the other direction.

The regulations that were established during childhood can be adapted to be more flexible. Additionally, if one does not find a particular situation agreeable, there is the option of rejecting the other party without experiencing feelings of guilt or hostility.

I had not been inclined to cultivate a friendship with them, due to concerns about potential issues.

I am uncertain as to the intended meaning of your sentence. Is it the case that you do not wish to be friends with this person because you do not like them, or because you still have feelings for them, but you are concerned about the potential consequences of becoming friends?

In the event that the former is the case, that is to say, if the other person chooses to disengage, then there is no cause for concern regarding messages.

One may choose to reject the other person's overtures in a clear and unambiguous manner, or alternatively, one may choose to refrain from responding to their messages and maintain one's distance. It is important to recognize that the decision to form a friendship is a mutual one, and it cannot be unilaterally decided by one party.

If the other person chooses to ignore you as a result of this, does it not follow that you need not concern yourself with the prospect of further messages?

In the event that the latter is the case, it is advisable to simply be oneself and accept the situation as it arises.

Genuine friendship does not necessitate disclosing one's innermost thoughts and feelings to others. However, it does entail articulating one's desires and preferences with sincerity and honesty.

It would be prudent to relax. The fact that friends come to you already demonstrates that they like and approve of you. There is no need to reciprocate; one should simply interact in a natural manner, in accordance with one's own inclinations. If friends avoid you because of your candid responses, it is indicative that they were not genuinely compatible as friends from the outset.

In essence, authentic friends engage in honest communication with one another.

The assistance I can provide is constrained. Should you perceive that these issues have resulted in significant challenges in your interpersonal relationships and in your daily life, you may wish to consider engaging in dialogue with the platform's listeners or seeking guidance from a qualified counselor. You may potentially derive greater benefit from such an approach.

The process of understanding one's own character traits and accepting them willingly, becoming aware of some of the unreasonable "should" stereotypes that one holds, and changing one's beliefs may potentially alleviate difficulties. It is my hope that my words will be of some assistance to you. The world and I love you!

Hello, After reading your words, I feel that you are in a difficult situation and are overthinking things a bit. I feel that you are afraid of not knowing how to respond to people with whom you don't really want to spend time.

Are you worried that turning someone down will make them feel bad? Or do you feel like you don't want to get too close to too many people?

In terms of the first possibility, I believe we can control our relationships with anyone. If you want to get to know someone better, respond carefully; if you want to maintain a good relationship, respond politely; if you don't want to talk to the other person, refuse tactfully.

If you dwell on other people's feelings, you'll just end up feeling bad. Plus, are other people really as easily hurt as you think? Everyone on the planet will be hurt to a greater or lesser extent, and people will grow through the hurt. Everyone will develop the ability to heal themselves, and if they can't handle it, they can seek help from others and professionals.

Regarding the second possibility, it's up to us to decide what kind of friends we make and how many friends we make.

How we respond to other people's messages is up to us. We shouldn't let others interfere too much. I think we can respond to others politely and respectfully to normal messages.

Then, if we want to develop a relationship with someone into a better friendship, it takes a certain amount of time to communicate and interact. There's no way of knowing whether the trusted friends we make now will last a long time or a lifetime. At different times and stages of life, we also need new friends to enrich our lives.

What are your thoughts on this?