I'm reluctant to continue this friendship and am facing interpersonal issues; what should I do?

"I can't say I like this friend very much, but I also don't dislike him very much."

"

This evaluation of cognition shows that there's still so much potential for your friendship to grow! It's at the level of just knowing each other, which is great, but there's a chance to become true friends who can give up some of their own interests for each other.

1. You and your so-called classmate and friend of many years actually have a lot of differences in terms of values. He is relatively strong-willed and has his own opinions, which makes for an interesting dynamic!

Moreover, you are naturally confident in character and your behavior is more outgoing, while you are an introvert with a delicate heart. Therefore, such friends can be very complementary in character, as long as you can improve and change those bad aspects of yourself through mutual influence.

However, from the expression, you not only did not get a good impression, but rather a negative one. Therefore, it is recommended that you re-evaluate your friendship, and if necessary, continue.

2. You must have your own independent judgment on matters, and you think that most of the time you are wrong. Instead of listening to the opinions of others, even if they are wrong, you are persuaded and collude with the other person.

So, when it's time to say no, take the initiative and refuse! Even if you do it tactfully, you'll be giving your own attitude. Over time, the other party will understand what you're thinking, and you won't even have to say that you're giving up the relationship! You'll slowly stop contacting each other and become strangers.

Good day, question asker. I appreciate your invitation to provide an answer.

From the questioner's description, it is evident that interacting with this friend causes the questioner discomfort. The friend frequently makes demands on the questioner, which overwhelms the questioner and motivates them to consider ending the friendship.

It is important to exercise caution when considering the continuation or termination of a friendship. A true friend will provide assistance, acceptance, forgiveness, and support.

Some individuals become friends due to specific reasons or abilities that align with certain conditions. These friends often create challenges and negatively impact the individual in question.

I will now discuss how to address this issue, based on the question that was posed.

It would be beneficial to examine this friendship in greater detail.

There are various types of relationships that can be classified as "friendship." Some are beneficial, some are merely social, and some may even be considered false.

In the Analects, Confucius states, "Three friends are beneficial, three friends are harmful. A friend who is straightforward, a friend who is forgiving, a friend who is knowledgeable is beneficial."

"Friends who are fawning, friendly, and flattering are harmful." The meaning is that there are three kinds of helpful friends and three kinds of harmful friends.

It is advantageous to cultivate relationships with individuals who exemplify upright character, possess integrity, and demonstrate a depth of knowledge. Conversely, it is disadvantageous to form alliances with those who engage in flattery, engage in backhanded compliments, or employ persuasive communication tactics.

"

The questioner can evaluate the relationship with their friends and consider the benefits gained from the friendship.

In addition to the characteristics mentioned in the Analects, a true friend also possesses the following qualities:

While friends may not always offer the advice you desire, they are always available to provide support when challenges arise.

In the presence of friends, one feels relaxed and is able to be oneself.

Friends will provide support.

Friends maintain consistent communication, not just when assistance is required.

Friendships encompass both positive and negative experiences.

Friends are concerned about your well-being and your safety.

Determine whether the relationship with the friend is beneficial and should be maintained.

As previously stated, friends can be beneficial or detrimental. How, then, can you ascertain the nature of your relationship and determine its value?

It is important to ascertain whether this individual is leveraging your relationship for their own benefit. A negative associate may:

Discuss your personal details in your absence.

Use you to advance their position on a particular social ladder.

Use you to gain proximity to an individual with whom you have a connection.

Another example of unscrupulous behavior is copying homework or taking advantage of one's knowledge.

They may also attempt to obtain information from you.

They will only approach you when they require something from you.

The individual may also engage in behaviors that are embarrassing or humiliating in front of other people.

It would be advisable to reduce contact.

If you have determined that your colleague is having a negative impact on your work, it is advisable to limit your contact with them as much as possible. Once you are prepared to terminate the professional relationship, it is recommended to gradually distance yourself from the colleague in question.

Should the other person extend an invitation, politely decline by stating, "I'm currently unavailable and unable to accept." The objective is to provide yourself with a buffer zone and alleviate the pressure the other person is exerting until you determine the best course of action regarding the relationship.

It is unprofessional to ignore the individual or cease communication. This is an immature response that could result in the individual becoming angry and spreading negative information about you to your mutual contacts.

It is advisable to discuss the matter directly with the other party.

If the questioner is certain that they wish to terminate the friendship, they should do so in a professional manner and exert considerable effort. They should endeavor to overcome any feelings of apprehension or reluctance and address the situation in a mature and composed manner.

It is important to remember that the other person was previously a friend and that future interactions may be necessary. Therefore, it is advisable to maintain a respectful approach throughout the process.

It is inadvisable to terminate the friendship via telephone. In the absence of a lengthy period of inactivity between the two parties or concerns about the other person's potential for violence, this course of action should be avoided.

It is inadvisable to send a text message or email to terminate the relationship with the other party. This may convey the wrong impression to the other person, leading them to believe that the sender is of a similar nature and would act similarly towards their friends.

Furthermore, texting or emailing can result in miscommunication.

Schedule a meeting with your colleague to discuss the dissolution of the professional relationship. Consider your objectives, the rationale behind your decision, and communicate them clearly.

Inform the other party of the criteria you use to select friends and the anticipated trajectory of the friendship moving forward. Maintain a firm stance. The other party will no longer be considered a friend. Avoid placing blame on the other party, maintain a positive demeanor, and refrain from expressing anger.

It is possible that the dissolution of a friendship may not be received well initially. In such instances, the individual may resort to verbal or physical attacks on the person who initiated the separation. In such cases, it is advisable to first apologize for any perceived shortcomings on your part that may have led to the breakdown in the relationship. This gesture will allow the other person to process the situation and facilitate a smooth transition.

I hope this information is helpful to you.

Hello, I can see you're feeling confused, so I just wanted to give you a hug!

You're facing some interpersonal challenges right now. I'm here to support you.

The reality is, you just need to understand that there are three types of things in this world: your own issues, other people's issues, and things that are out of your hands.

This concept comes from the book A Change of Heart.

I think you can be honest with guy A. The frequent dating has probably affected your studies a bit.

You can tell him, "You just started university and you want to focus on your studies."

You should also let A know that you'd like him to handle the situation with his ex-girlfriend himself.

You have a good reason for feeling this way: you can't accept that he is still in contact with his ex-girlfriend and is dating you at the same time.

If A is reasonable, he'll know what to do next.

I really hope you can resolve this issue soon.

That's all I can think of right now.

I hope my answers above will be helpful and inspiring to you, my dear colleague. I am the answer, and I study hard every day.

Here at Yixinli, we love you and the world loves you too! Best wishes!