In interpersonal relationships, always feeling redundant, not accepted, unpleasant feelings?

Hello host.

First, change your mindset.

Don't take yourself too seriously. My words don't determine other people's destinies, so what does it matter what I say?

Don't take other people seriously.

Don't worry, these exchanges are normal and don't cause anxiety.

Next, the practical application:

Think about your communication skills and personality.

Are you better at 1v1 or 1vX communication? If the former, find someone in the group with similar attributes or who is close to you as an entry point.

Identify your role in the group and add similar attributes. If you're a listener, you can learn to be a military adviser, which gives advice to the group.

Find your own style of humor. Everyone can use humor. Some people are kind and funny, some are eccentric and funny, and some are funny because they're mysterious.

Be strong, share, and communicate. Your usual performance will be noticed. If you are stronger, nicer, and help more, others will depend on you.

You can use one person in the group as a reference.

Best wishes!

Good day, I hope this message finds you well. I am writing in response to your recent query. Please do not hesitate to contact me if I can be of further assistance. Kind regards,

After reviewing your inquiry, I empathize with your predicament. Allow me to extend a gesture of support and understanding.

The issue you are currently experiencing is as follows:

In my interpersonal relationships, I often feel like an unnecessary addition, as though I am not fully accepted or respected.

2. Apprehensive about expressing opinions for fear of causing offense.

3. A desire for interpersonal relationships, concern about how others perceive them, and an inclination to behave in ways that are not natural in social situations.

Problem analysis:

1. During her formative years, the questioner may have been perceived as a model child by her parents. However, her emotional needs were not adequately addressed, leading to a tendency towards sensitivity, vulnerability, and a lack of independence. This resulted in a reliance on others for support.

2. Due to a fear of offending others, the questioner is unaware that she is an independent individual with her own thoughts and personality. An overreliance on pleasing others may result in a loss of self-respect.

3. A desire for interpersonal relationships and apprehension about how others will perceive her. The questioner is not actually afraid of how others will perceive her, but rather of her own self-perception as inferior, timid, and dependent.

4. The individual in question exhibits high levels of internal mental energy consumption, displays a tendency to overthink, and displays sensitivity and vulnerability.

The following analysis and solutions are provided:

(1) Accept yourself and your family environment unconditionally and recognize that you are not inherently bad.

(2) Position yourself correctly and reasonably. Create a clear list of your strengths and weaknesses and read it aloud until you can accept your weaknesses.

(3) Eliminate the daily internal conflict with yourself, and focus on taking action.

(4) Avoid allowing negative self-doubt to persist for extended periods. Remain true to yourself and focus on your own perspective rather than external opinions.

(5) Express your feelings honestly, accept your true self, and recognize that despite your best efforts, there will always be individuals who do not approve of you.

(6) It is important to clarify that you and others are equal individuals, and that your abilities will not be undermined by external evaluations.

(7) Identify an appropriate outlet for stress relief, such as running, playing ball games, hiking, etc.

(8) Attempt to complete tasks independently. It is not crucial to achieve perfection; the initial step has been taken, and subsequent efforts will become increasingly straightforward.

I hope my response is of assistance to you. Best regards, [Name]

Hello, question asker. I can see you're feeling confused right now, and I'm here to help. Hugs to you!

I'm here for you, and I want you to know that I'm sending you a big, warm hug.

I really don't think you ever disliked interacting with people, sweetie.

I'd love to tell you more about why I say this!

We're social animals, after all!

I'm just guessing here, but do you think it's possible that you've been hurt in past relationships and have been evaluated negatively by others?

So, after that, you became very resistant to interpersonal interactions and felt superfluous. I'm so sorry to hear that.

So, what can you do now to help yourself?

I really think you should seek help from a professional counselor. Let her help you work through those bad experiences you've had in the past with other people.

If you're not sure how many sessions of counseling you'll need, you can also seek help from an instant listener.

If you need it, the person listening to you will also refer you to a professional counselor.

I really hope the problem you're having gets sorted out soon.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I can only think of these things right now.

I really hope my answer was helpful and inspiring for you! I'm the respondent, and I study hard every day.

Here at Yixinli, we love you and the world loves you too! Wishing you all the best!

Good morning, I have a question for you.

There are two potential reasons for excessive concern about relationships and reticence to speak up. One is high sensitivity and worry, and the other is an unfavorable experience where acceptance was lacking, leading to apprehension about social engagement. Regardless of the circumstances, the individual in question does not experience positive sentiments, but this is not a reflection of personal fault.

1. The way the world treats you is the way you treat yourself. This concept is known as projection in psychology. It means that how we see the world and ourselves is projected outwards, and others will see us in the same way. If we don't feel good enough and are afraid that we are superfluous, we may not love ourselves enough and always find fault with ourselves. Over time, others will learn this approach as well.

2. If you wish to socialize, you must first stop evaluating yourself. You must be true to yourself. You may not be good at socializing, but that may be because you were hurt in the past or because you learned from past experiences in your environment. However, today, this self of yours is brand new and wants to establish social connections. Therefore, you only need to focus on what needs to be done and stop evaluating the past self.

3. Develop your communication and social skills. As you accept yourself, you will identify areas for improvement. When you are concerned, you can identify specific issues, such as when you are likely to feel unwelcome, and how you can respond in these situations. Enhance your social skills.

It is important to recognize that socializing and relationships are significant aspects of our lives, and that many of our concerns originate from social interactions. Therefore, it is essential to begin by avoiding self-judgment.

The world and I support you.

Susu, Heart Exploration Coach

Greetings, question asker.

From the information provided in your brief post, it appears that you are currently experiencing a significant degree of internal conflict.

On the one hand, the desire for relationships is present; on the other hand, the fear of rejection, ridicule, and dislike is also present.

Have you experienced feelings of awkwardness, depression, indecisiveness, and a sense of being superfluous in interpersonal interactions as a result of being rejected, ridiculed, or disliked?

First and foremost, it is important to acknowledge that you are a perceptive individual.

It is evident that you are aware of your shortcomings in interpersonal relationships.

I am unaware of your age. Are you a male friend?

It would be beneficial to ascertain whether you are a female friend. Additionally, it would be helpful to determine when this sentiment first arose.

If the issue pertains to character, it may be associated with one's attachment patterns.

Could these patterns be the result of an acquired influence?

It is essential to determine the age group that has been subjected to trauma as a result of interactions in interpersonal relationships.

What, then, are the consequences of this phenomenon?

We will commence by discussing the influence of the family environment.

It is impossible to ascertain the nature of one's parents. If they

Such interactions may manifest as criticism and judgment.

This, in turn, gives rise to the current adverse reactions in interpersonal relationships.

A child who is subjected to constant criticism and blame from their parents is likely to develop a weak self-image.

The character internalizes a substantial amount of fear and an excessive degree of inferiority.

The subconsciously formed original self is characterized by weakness, whereas the super self is imbued with strength.

In his seminal psychoanalytic work, Freud posited that the self is constituted by two fundamental components: the id and the superego. The id represents an animalistic, biological drive that seeks uninhibited gratification and is not constrained by moral laws. In contrast, the superego is a social and cultural construct that adheres to civilized etiquette, moral norms, and legal statutes.

The following section will address the underlying causes of trauma in interpersonal relationships.

Individuals who experience trauma in interpersonal relationships are prone to developing a sense of shame, which can impede personal growth and lead to the formation of emotional knots.

Therefore, it is instinctive to protect oneself, which may result in the individual becoming indecisive and fearful of engaging in interpersonal interactions.

The question thus arises as to how one might break the pattern.

In the event that the cause is trauma, it is necessary to return to the traumatic stress point.

It is essential to experience the feelings in one's body and to acknowledge the inner sense of shame.

It is possible that a significant amount of unresolved sadness and anger may be present. It is essential to express these emotions and bring the process to a conclusion through the use of ritual.

If the issue is a personality trait, psychotherapy with a systemic and dynamic orientation may be a viable option. This approach allows the individual to regress in a counseling relationship that feels safe, thereby facilitating the reshaping and integration of the personality. It should be noted, however, that this process can be lengthy.

It must be acknowledged that the above represents a highly speculative analysis. In the meantime, it would be advisable to:

Firstly, it is recommended that individuals endeavour to demonstrate courage and resilience in their interpersonal relationships.

It is recommended that individuals express their feelings.

In the event of a negative reaction from another individual, it is imperative to communicate this promptly to the person with whom one has interacted.

I must admit that I was somewhat nervous when I interacted with you.

Secondly, it is advisable to verify one's own assumptions with the assistance of others.

In the event that one consistently perceives criticism from others in their interpersonal relationships, it may be beneficial to consider the following:

One may inquire in a jocular manner, "What were your thoughts regarding my behavior or approach just now?"

Thirdly, it is recommended that you attempt to engage in a greater number of activities, form a wider range of connections, and participate in a variety of groups and circles.

It is only through the processes of life and practice that one can become stronger.

Ultimately, it is my sincere hope that you will enjoy a happy life and experience a breakthrough in your relationships.

I am Counselor Yao, and I extend my enduring affection to you all at Yixinli!

Good day, question owner. I can discern your concerns and fears about your interpersonal relationships in your words, as well as a sense of fear and helplessness. I will provide my perspective, and I hope that my next answer will be enlightening to you.

You have indicated that in interpersonal relationships, you are concerned about being overlooked and not accepted. This is a common concern, and there are several reasons for it. If you had an unaccepted or unattended child, it is understandable that you would develop a negative self-perception, thinking that you are not accepted enough and thus fearing that you are superfluous.

It is also possible that you experienced a sense of interpersonal relationship failure at an early age, which may have led to a perception that you were not cared for or noticed.

It is important to recognise that everyone will experience feelings of failure and shame at some point. It is essential to adopt the right attitude in order to address these issues effectively.

As you mentioned, you tend to be overly concerned with the opinions of others, which can lead to a negative self-assessment.

If you perceive your interpersonal skills negatively, it is easy to become trapped in a vicious cycle of focusing on negative feedback from others while ignoring positive signs. This further reinforces the belief that you are not valued and are unnecessary to others.

It is possible to adopt a positive attitude towards these situations in your interactions with others, and to make the correct external and internal attributions. For example, when someone is in a bad mood and speaks to you in a tone that makes you feel uncomfortable or aggressive, the correct external and internal attributions are as follows: "She's in a bad mood, so her tone is a bit bad. It is not necessarily my fault."

He is straightforward and honest, and does not attempt to conceal this quality.

We place a high value on the opinions of others because they provide insight into our personal characteristics. Historically, we could discern whether we shared similar traits with those offering opinions about us. This concept is central to the social identity theory in psychology.

Many individuals derive self-esteem from the opinions of others. If the opinions expressed are negative, it can have a detrimental impact on their sense of self-worth. Conversely, if the opinions are positive, it can enhance one's self-esteem.

I would like to remind you that it is beneficial to consider the opinions of others, but it is more important to develop your own perspective. It is valuable to focus on your own growth and development, rather than being overly influenced by external factors.

I encourage you to develop your own values by reading more books. This will allow you to view other people's comments dialectically, rather than taking what other people say at face value. (┯_┯) Only then can you view yourself from a developmental perspective, believing that you will become better and better, and that you can improve this environment.

Best regards,

I would like to take this opportunity to extend my best wishes to you and the world.

I totally get you! I can see the helplessness in your words, and I can also feel your desire for good interpersonal relationships. Here's how to break it down:

1. Accept yourself!

You're perfect just the way you are! Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. There's no need to compare your own shortcomings with other people's strengths, nor should you feel ashamed of yourself. Everyone has their own unique characteristics, and that's a wonderful thing!

2. Communicate more!

Good communication is the key to starting great relationships! As you communicate more often, you'll feel like you're getting closer to others.

And the best part is, there will be more tolerance, understanding, and consideration for others!

3. Don't sweat other people's comments!

Everyone's life background and living environment, past experiences are different, so you don't have to expect everyone to understand you. And that's a good thing! Everyone thinks differently, and that's what makes life so interesting.

You know what? Being rejected, mocked, and disliked is not something that happens to everyone. So, just do your best!

Choose to believe in those who can accept you and give you positive energy! If many people have mentioned the same problem with you, then you might want to reflect on yourself.

4. Be a little more relaxed!

A forced smile is never sweet. So, go with the flow! A stable frame of mind often means you've already succeeded by more than half.

5. Take the initiative!

We may not be able to change the length of our lives, but we can absolutely expand its width! While there are some things we cannot do anything about, there are still so many things we can try!

For example, if you are afraid of socializing and don't dare to insert yourself into other people's conversations, you can start with the little things around you. When you meet a colleague, you can take the initiative to say hello, even if it's just a nod. And guess what? A slight upturn of the corners of your mouth is enough!

I really hope my answer helps the original poster! Best wishes!