In my third year of college, I often become overly sensitive to things and people, and my mind struggles to stop racing.

Hello, I'm Gu Yi. I'm a modest and humble person, and I try to be consistent in my approach.

It would be good to smooth out your relationship with your parents.

Parents are their children's first teachers, and it's clear that we're influenced by our parents in many ways. From how we initially view the world to how we interact with others and our world view, our parents have a lot to do with it. In this regard, our parents are the first teachers in our lives, regardless of how strong they are. It's because of this that the level and ability of our first teachers vary.

It seems like you're struggling with your parents' conflicting personalities. It's hard for you to understand what your parents expect from you because they seem to be changing all the time. This makes it difficult for you to figure out which direction you should be heading in. As a result, you're feeling a bit schizophrenic, thinking and worrying.

We're now in our third year of university and have our own ideas about the world. We should make our own plans and not worry about what our parents want. We're about to graduate and face a brand new life and future. What can we do? Our parents' conflicting demands on us to change are actually caused by their own stress. Sometimes they hope we can be more independent so they worry less; sometimes they hope we can be stronger so they can rely on us.

Try to build your strength.

My friend, the problems you're facing now are actually the result of many underlying issues. If we reflect on our family, our parents, and our education, and look ahead to the future we want, we'll be able to identify the best course of action. In the face of the unchangeable past, our goal should be to make every day meaningful.

We all face challenges when we're trying to become stronger. You say you lack motivation, are sensitive, and have trouble concentrating. This is actually related to our independence. We lack motivation because we still have something to rely on and don't need to do our best to pay for our lives. This makes it hard for us to do things we want to do and easy to do things we don't want to do. This makes us feel unmotivated.

❀Set yourself a clear goal. A third-year college student is considered an adult, and is perfectly capable of taking responsibility for their own lives. So let's stop relying on others and believe that we can do it. When we find our own rhythm, we can carve out a bright future for ourselves. Many of our problems will then heal on their own.

Psychology often talks about the original family, which is to identify problems in a person's growth process and then resolve them. The most important thing is that we need to be willing to face problems and difficulties head-on.

Best,

Greetings.

A brief physical gesture, such as a pat on the shoulder, can provide a momentary release from pain and disappointment. This is an effective method of physical venting that can be employed when one is experiencing overwhelming distress. Once emotions have subsided, a more analytical approach can be taken to address the underlying issues.

Is there any realistic possibility of achieving these expectations? Why do my expectations consistently fail to materialize, and why is my fortune so erratic?

If parents are unable to provide a stable environment for their children or take care of their lives during their formative years, and if they create too much chaos in the environment, children will develop a distrust and suspicion of the outside world and will be unable to settle down and adapt to their living environment. They will often experience delusions such as "Do my parents love me?" and "If they love me, why can't they see my needs?"

"Why do they always incite discord?" These inquiries that transcend their developmental stage will persistently trouble them. Naturally, given their nascent cognitive abilities and mentality, their thoughts will only engender further confusion and concern.

In the absence of parental guidance or when parents employ inappropriate methods to educate and discipline their children, the emotional harm caused by these actions can be significantly magnified. This can be illustrated by a scenario in which a mother observes her child drowning but instead of providing assistance, she urges the child to swim frantically to the surface. This approach is akin to attempting to teach a child to swim without first ensuring they have the necessary skills. The optimal approach for guiding a child in this situation is to recognize their struggles and limitations while simultaneously providing emotional support, stability, and encouragement. This enables the child to draw upon the energy and guidance provided by their parents, feel secure, regain stability, and focus on the task at hand.

What is the most effective method for adjusting to existing negative emotions?

1. Recognizing the constraints of one's parents and extending forgiveness.

On occasion, my parents will provide me with care and support, yet at other times, they will express feelings of distress and urge me to maintain distance. My father frequently places demands on me that are not realistic, such as urging me to study intensively and to pursue financial independence.

Parents are responsible for providing their children with material and emotional care and for guiding them towards the right values. However, the parents of the original poster are currently unable to fulfil these responsibilities. They are unaware that their words and actions have caused their child emotional distress and adversely affected their life. This is due to their limitations. They may have grown up in a family with immature educational concepts and lack the knowledge to educate their child in a way that is beneficial to their physical and mental growth. Sometimes they try desperately to emulate the kind of people they want to be, but due to their limited abilities, they are easily swayed by their own negative emotions, and their illusions are therefore shattered. Before the original poster, they may not have been able to perceive the connection between family members and even the entire family. It was initially difficult for them to understand and accept them, but when they observe the close connection that actually exists between each other, the child will feel more sympathy for their parents in front of them. This is empathy, and it is only at this time that understanding can truly arise and communication can be generated.

2. It is imperative not to deny one's self-worth and to affirm it.

My mother frequently asserts that she lacks financial resources and discourages me from seeking her out, which contributes to a pervasive sense of pressure. Their fluctuating levels of indifference and care elicit feelings of distress and a sense of being adrift, and I experience a profound sense of helplessness. I even feel a sense of futility. When I contemplate this, I become ensnared in a web of emotions and find it challenging to disengage. I feel an urge to self-harm or to slam my head against a wall.

The pervasive negative emotional influence of parents on their children has a profound negative impact. Children may lose the capacity to love due to an inability to experience love, and they may also be affected by their parents' negative emotions, which can further impair their emotional well-being. Emotions are not isolated phenomena; they resonate with and affect one another, yet they cannot be separated. This can result in a loss of self-identity and an inability to recognize one's own value. In essence, this represents an internal attack on the self, as the inability to externalize emotions and resolve internal conflicts leads to the development of self-harming behaviors.

Should such urges manifest once more, it is recommended that one attempts to slow one's respiration and engage in a diversionary activity. The most efficacious method for this is to venture outdoors and engage in physical activity such as jogging on the playground. This allows for the catharsis of negative emotions. It is also advised that one gradually learns to regulate one's emotional state while simultaneously reminding oneself that one's parents' emotions are their responsibility and that one should not bear the burden of them at all times. Instead, one should assume responsibility for one's own emotions. If one engages in self-harm or self-abuse, the problem will not be resolved. Instead, one should employ positive methods of thinking and the problem will manifest in a positive direction.

Ultimately, it is crucial to avoid complaining, cultivate the ability to reconcile with oneself, and prioritize the value of relationships.

Additionally, they exhibit a lack of interest in interpersonal relationships and a preference for environments where they are less known. They demonstrate a lack of motivation, sensitivity to external stimuli, and a tendency for their brains to remain active. This results in feelings of fatigue and a desire for reduced cognitive activity, yet they frequently experience distress and are unsure of how to cope.

Children who have experienced familial dysfunction tend to display a proclivity for sensitivity, vulnerability, and a perceived lack of inner security and love. However, a subset of these children exhibits an unexpected degree of resilience, or a remarkable capacity to withstand and adapt to stressful circumstances. This phenomenon, often described as "strength through adversity," represents a manifestation of their intrinsic capacity for self-healing. The underlying mechanisms through which these children achieve resilience remain a topic of ongoing research. However, it is evident that they possess the ability to reconcile with themselves, provide positive self-affirmation, and value the development of relationships. This capacity for self-reconciliation, even if not necessarily extending to their original families, enables them to break down the barriers within their own lives. Consequently, they are better equipped to navigate the complexities of future careers and marriages, potentially reaching another level of personal fulfillment.

I hope this message finds you well.

Good day, inquirer.

As a current junior college student, I am soon confronted with the decision of whether to pursue my studies or enter the workforce.

You previously referenced the various directives your parents provided, including recommendations to prioritize academic pursuits and to pursue financial gain.

The Meaning of Intimacy

As posited by the book Parenting Your Inner Child, the need for intimacy arises from the understanding that it allows for the fulfillment of one's own deficiencies. Parents often encourage their children to become independent at the earliest possible age, which may be influenced by the perception that they themselves are under significant pressure. When our own energy is insufficient, we seek compensation through intimacy.

Indeed, it would be beneficial to consider the challenges that our parents may be facing at this time. While they are at home, we can provide assistance in ways that align with our abilities. Listening attentively to their concerns can also be an effective way to support them and alleviate their stress.

The care they sometimes exhibit toward their children is, I posit, an expression of the love they wish to impart. However, it is important to recognize that this is their inaugural experience as parents, and given their middle-aged status, the associated pressures may be considerable. Consequently, they may occasionally perceive a lack of sufficient energy to cope with the demands of parenting.

The necessity of self-care

Having discussed the subject of parental performance, we shall now turn our attention to the matter of self-care and explore the possibilities open to us.

The individual posing the question is currently enrolled in a junior college. As a former student and an outsider, I recall that I was still quite inexperienced when I was a junior. I was unable to articulate my future aspirations, my capabilities, or the type of life I aspired to lead.

This is the period during which individuals are most susceptible to errors in judgment and self-doubt.

In such circumstances, it is important to adopt a more tolerant and understanding approach towards oneself. The pressure to meet the expectations and demands of one's parents is a burden that they must bear, and it is not necessarily the case that one is capable of fulfilling these expectations or that one is required to do so. It is essential to identify goals that align with one's actual abilities. When the gap between one's goals and one's actual abilities is significant, it can lead to anxiety, which in turn represents a psychological obstacle to one's progress.

When parents lack self-understanding, they may be more inclined to provide themselves with greater care and understanding.

The purpose of life is to engage in activities that elicit positive emotions. I previously experienced a period of time that closely resembles yours. However, I have endeavored to identify my preferences and strengths. In doing so, I have gradually discerned the purpose of my existence, which has also led to a gradual increase in the sense of purpose I derive from life.

It is acknowledged that…

I previously exhibited high levels of introversion and an aversion to forming interpersonal connections. I do not believe that these traits are a significant issue, particularly given that I currently find greater comfort in solitude. It is possible that, at this stage of life, I simply prefer to prioritize my own company. I am of the opinion that it is possible to adhere fully to one's innermost feelings without succumbing to feelings of inferiority, regardless of one's proficiency in social interaction.

You indicate that you are unable to refrain from ruminating on thoughts, and that your mind is in a constant state of flux. This suggests the presence of a multitude of internal thoughts and conflicts, akin to the interaction of two characters in your mind engaged in a constant dialogue.

In his theory of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud posited the existence of three fundamental psychological structures: the id, the super-ego, and the ego.

The "ego" (partly conscious) represents the conscience or internal moral judgment, which is usually in opposition to the "Id."

The superego (partly conscious) represents the conscience or internal moral judgment, which is typically in opposition to the id.

The "self" (the majority of the conscious mind) is responsible for navigating the external world and serves as a mediator between the "id" and the "superego."

It should be noted that each of these "selves" has its own significance. Satisfying the needs associated with each "self" can stimulate our energy, while the "super-self" allows us to examine the current environment and situation, and the "ego" helps us to regulate our internal needs. Therefore, when your mind is unable to stop thinking, it may be beneficial to write down these thoughts and then observe them from a third-person perspective, allowing them to exist.

As one permits these thoughts to emerge, one may gradually become less rigid and more receptive. This process can facilitate the ability to confront minor challenges in a productive manner.

One may also improve concentration by continuing to practice mindfulness.

The inability to concentrate is frequently the result of being in the present moment while simultaneously dwelling on past or future experiences. It is therefore beneficial to focus one's attention on the present, whether in the context of eating or otherwise.

Constant practice allows for significant enhancement of concentration.

In conclusion, it is recommended that individuals engage in physical activity when experiencing excessive thinking or stress. This approach allows for a shift in focus from the mind to the body, which can help to alleviate stress and promote relaxation.

As a photographic enthusiast, I hope that the aforementioned advice is beneficial. I extend my best wishes to the world and to all of you.

Hello. I can see from your description that your parents are anxious. You are still in school, and your goal should be to study. However, your parents keep urging you to work and earn money, and your mother sometimes refuses to provide you with financial support. This is confusing for a child still in school.

Your parents' anxiety likely has a long history. Think back: were they often anxious and impatient when you were a child?

Anxious parents who are inconsistent confuse their children. Over time, children blame themselves for the situation and feel that it is their fault that their parents treat them this way. The truth is that your parents have not managed their emotions well and have not taken good care of your emotions.

I am not in a position to judge your parents' actions. Every family has its own history. I am simply telling you not to believe everything they say about you.

Your parents' opinion of you is just one of many perspectives, so don't let it get you down. You are worthy of exploring and shaping your identity, aspirations, and capabilities.

You said you want to hit a wall or hurt yourself when you're in pain and in a dilemma. That's concerning. Have you ever done that, or are you just thinking about it now?

If you are still just thinking about it, you need to ask yourself what you usually do to relieve yourself of such painful emotions when these self-harming thoughts arise but you are unable to act on them.

Your relationship problems with your parents and indifferent interpersonal relationships at school have made it difficult for you to find classmates or friends to talk to or spend time with. You need to seek help from the school's psychological counseling center. With the help of a professional counselor, you can learn to care for your emotions, master emotional regulation skills, and interpersonal skills, and embrace the neglected child within.

You need to find a way to recharge your batteries.

You've got this!