In the face of an absolute gap in strength, are human values still equal?

Good day, I have a question for you.

You are frustrated and desire self-recognition, but you are unwilling to deceive yourself. You want to recognize your own value from the bottom of your heart. On the one hand, you feel that you have failed when measured against worldly success standards; on the other hand, you feel that although you are not outstandingly good, you are not bad either.

You would like to know how to cultivate unassuming confidence. Let's explore that together.

Your unconscious value ranking

"My parents care about me, I care about myself, and perhaps a small number of relatives and friends care about me. This is the value of my current existence. However, I have very little value to contribute to society..."

Your current values are "being cared about" and "social contribution." It should be noted that there is no right or wrong in values. When an individual's actions align with their values, they tend to feel a sense of fulfillment. In your case, you may feel a lack of self-worth, particularly given that your current pursuit of social contribution is benchmarked against the achievements of entrepreneurs.

Consider whether these values were instilled by your parents or other influences, or if they are intrinsic to your own beliefs. If they are not, explore your core values using resources such as the Value exercise or professional value scales.

If these values are your own, it would be beneficial to pursue them and work hard to achieve them.

[Sense of self-worth]

"How do I recognize my own value? How can I consider myself to be of equal value to others?"

It appears that your cognitive thinking is still constrained by the limitations of worldly standards, necessitating comparison to ascertain self-worth. Despite recognizing the intrinsic value of human existence, you have not yet fully embraced and accepted this concept.

I would like to quote a passage from "Zhuangzi: The World" ("The Use of Uselessness") to further clarify the concept. I will not expand on it here, so please refer to the original source.

The value of each individual is equal to that of diverse flora and fauna. Each entity possesses unique value and beauty, independent of external recognition or utilization.

I hope this information is helpful.

I am Potato Maling, who has had the privilege of growing up with you. Thank you for your attention.

Hello! I'm Bai Li Yina, and I really hope my reply can give you some warmth and help.

The person who asked the question said that he doesn't feel successful in the social sense. Since childhood, he has liked to compare himself with outstanding people. Once he finds that he is no match for them, he will be devastated. You feel that one should no longer measure a person in a utilitarian way. You see that some people who are not outstanding in every way live very confidently. You are better than they are, but you can't find your own value, and you feel very painful about it. What should you do?

Let's take a moment to analyze the situation together.

Since childhood, we've been born into a competitive society, where the survival of the fittest is the norm. You've been deeply influenced by this environment, and you hope to do better at everything. But, there will always be someone better than you. The more you see excellence, the more you might feel like you're not good enough. So, you might even feel worthless. Let's see together how you can change to escape this pain.

[Questions for you to think about]

1. It's totally normal for your parents to show favoritism towards classmates with more talent than you. They might even look down on you sometimes. It's easy to think your parents care about you, but what is their motivation for acting this way? It's possible they want to motivate your competitiveness. Maybe they think that's the only way to make you work harder and become better, and that your future will become better as a result.

2. Your first love was taken away because your first love happened to be someone who was not committed enough to the relationship. It's okay, we've all been there! You can see that many third parties are not as beautiful or as good as the original partner, but uncommitted people can have countless reasons for cheating. It is difficult to avoid this situation no matter how good you are.

3. Leaders are businessmen, and businessmen's standards are actually pretty consistent. The leader is just trying to motivate all employees to bring greater benefits to the company, which is a good thing!

I know it can be tough when you're not the most favored, but I'm here to remind you that you're still loved. So, ask yourself: are you the one who annoys your leader the most?

4. It can be really tough when your classmates are wearing designer clothes and you're wearing ordinary shoes. I'm just wondering, are all your classmates wearing designer clothes?

I'm sure there's no one who doesn't wear an ordinary brand! I'm sure this student only laughed at you because of the brand, but don't worry about it!

Or maybe the other person just has bad intentions towards you. There are other reasons not to mock brands, too!

I'd highly recommend giving this a try!

It seems like you've always had high expectations of yourself, and I admire that! I think you're an excellent person who is unaware of your own abilities. The people in your circle are mostly excellent people too, so you can always find someone really special. You are constantly comparing yourself to others and trying to catch up with them, and I get it! The more you climb, the thinner the air becomes, and you realize that you are about to run out of breath.

It's so sad to see how many people in China have been crushed by the words "mortgage" and "32 years old." It's a tough situation, isn't it? How long have you been working since graduating? How many young people can afford to buy a house and make mortgage repayments? Maybe your parents helped you out by buying you a house, but the bank decided to assess your ability to repay the loan on your own. At least your income from work at the time was quite good.

How you see your own value depends on how much you like yourself. It's so important to love yourself, no matter what others think. People who are confident in themselves, whether they are considered good or not by others, have one thing in common: they like themselves, approve of themselves, and care about themselves the most.

It really doesn't matter what others think of me. I've found that cultivating a mindset of feeling good about yourself is one of the most important things you can do.

There's no limit to material success, and there will always be people around you who are doing better than you. If your goal is to live in a nice neighborhood and drive a nice car, then your standards will be material. If your goal is happiness, health, and well-being, then there are many ways to measure.

In addition to material things, there is also the joy of the spiritual world. People with a good attitude, neither arrogant nor humble, and a lot of self-confidence mostly belong to the spiritually rich. If you want to escape from material world comparisons, you can pay more attention to your spiritual world. For example, think about what you did today. You did a good job! Give yourself a little praise. You're awesome! You're amazing! And feel the joy of being praised inside.

When something upsets you, you can choose to look at it from a different angle. Instead of focusing on the material, you can also interpret it from a spiritual perspective. Is it really because you are not good enough that you encounter this kind of hurt? It's also possible that those people you consider to be good have also been hurt.

It's so clear that the person who hurt you was wrong. So, please don't blame yourself for not being good enough! You've punished yourself for the faults of others.

In my eyes, you are a very good girl. Most girls at your age are not as good as you, but that's okay! Your problem is that you can't see how good you are. You are priceless, and you are unique in this world. You are irreplaceable to your parents. What could be more valuable than that? You have made your parents enjoy a different life, and that is something to be proud of!

You deserve to love yourself more. Only people who truly love themselves can find someone who loves them.

I really hope these methods help you!

I know change can be tough, but it'll get easier with time and patience. And please don't worry or be afraid. You're not alone. Many people are experiencing or have experienced similar problems, and you'll get through this.

You're not alone, sweetheart. I'm here for you, and I hope you find the answers you're looking for soon.

I'm so grateful to everyone who has liked and responded to me. Sending you all so much love and joy!

Hello, questioner! I'm June Lai Feng, and I'm thrilled to be here with you today.

From your description, it is clear that what you have experienced will indeed have a significant psychological impact on you. But you will get through this!

First, it may make you feel self-doubting and low self-esteem, and feel that you are not good enough. But don't worry! Second, this kind of utilitarian comparison environment will make you feel unfair and lost. But you can beat it!

Your value is not determined by external conditions alone. You are a person with thoughts, emotions, and potential! Don't let the comments and actions of others sway you.

Focus on your inner feelings, discover your own strengths and progress, and cultivate your inner strength!

At the same time, you have the power to adjust your own perception and not care too much about the views and actions of others. There may be some problems in the social environment, but you can choose to remain independent and firm, not be influenced by those negative factors.

Believe in your own value and you will find your own happiness and success!

You have a few confusions in the description, which we can easily clear up together!

The whole society measures you in a utilitarian way, so how can I be confident in myself in such an environment?

It's not easy to maintain confidence in yourself in a utilitarian social environment, but it is possible! First, learn to recognize and accept the real you. Understand your own value and strengths, and you'll be well on your way to confidence.

Don't worry about what others think! Focus on your own growth and progress. And don't forget to pay attention to your own inner feelings and trust your own judgments and choices.

Don't let other people's opinions sway you! Stay determined to follow your own path. You can also find like-minded people to support and encourage each other with. Together, they can withstand external pressures!

Remember, your value doesn't depend on what others think. It depends on you! Believe in yourself, and you can do it!

You can also try to give yourself more positive mental suggestions to continuously strengthen your confidence in yourself. It's a great way to boost your self-esteem and help you feel more confident in your abilities!

I also see some people who are really not good at all aspects, and are even not as good as me. But they still have a good attitude, are neither humble nor arrogant, and are very confident. I also want to become like that! So what is the value of my existence?

Everyone has their own unique value! Your value does not depend on comparison with others, but on your own qualities and efforts.

You may possess valuable qualities such as kindness, sincerity, and creativity, which are all unique and shining points of your personality. And you can influence and help others in your own way, bringing positive changes to the world!

You are valuable! It's there, inside you, waiting to be discovered. Don't dwell on what others think. Focus on your own growth and development, and I know you will find your own sense of confidence and worth!

And you can also try new things more often! In the process, you'll continue to explore and discover your potential.

From a psychological perspective, people who are not outstanding in all aspects but still have a good attitude, are neither arrogant nor self-deprecating, and are confident may have the following characteristics:

1. Positive self-concept: They have a positive view of themselves and know their value is not limited to external achievements or the opinions of others. They are able to recognize their own strengths and potential and believe that they can be valuable in different ways.

2. Healthy self-esteem: Healthy self-esteem is all about respecting and accepting yourself, without depending on the approval of others. These people probably have an inner confirmation of their own value and don't belittle themselves by comparing themselves with others.

3. Optimistic mindset: They have an amazing ability to view things in an optimistic way and can find the positive side of difficulties and challenges. This optimistic mindset helps them maintain good emotions and self-confidence.

4. Good coping mechanisms: These people have amazing ways of dealing with stress and setbacks. They can handle disappointments in life and use them as learning opportunities. They're not defeated by difficulties, they learn and grow from them!

5. Self-acceptance: They wholeheartedly embrace their own inadequacies and shortcomings, and they don't let them hold them back. They understand that everyone has imperfections, and they focus on developing their strengths.

6. Growth mindset: People with a growth mindset are absolutely amazing! They believe that they can improve themselves through hard work and learning. They see challenges as opportunities for growth rather than threats, and therefore maintain a positive attitude.

❤️When I am in front of people who are better than me in terms of education, family, work, appearance, age, etc., I feel like a clown. But that just means there's room for me to grow and become the best I can be!

From a psychological perspective, this feeling may stem from the following:

Social comparison psychology: People tend to compare themselves with others, which is a normal and healthy psychological phenomenon. However, it's important to recognize when comparison is taking over and leading to low self-evaluation and a sense of inferiority.

When you compare yourself to people who are better than you, you may focus too much on your shortcomings. But don't forget about your strengths and values!

2. Self-perception bias: This feeling can also be caused by an unobjective or biased perception of yourself. You may be too demanding of yourself or place too much importance on external standards, while ignoring your inner qualities and abilities. But don't worry! This is something you can easily change.

3. Inferiority complex: A feeling of inferiority can make you feel uneasy and unsure in the presence of others. This feeling may stem from past experiences, family circumstances, or other factors. But don't worry! You can overcome this feeling and feel confident in your abilities.

4. Focus effect: People tend to overestimate the attention and evaluation they receive from others. This is your chance to prove them wrong! You may think that others are focusing on your shortcomings, but in reality they may not care that much.

5. Lack of self-confidence and self-esteem: Self-confidence and self-esteem are the recognition and respect you have for yourself. If you lack these, you may feel more uneasy and insignificant in the presence of others. But don't worry! You can easily start building your self-confidence and self-esteem today.

6. Anxiety: You can conquer your worries about inadequacy and excessive concern about the opinions of others!

Ready to change your mindset? It's time to see yourself and others in a new light, focus on your own growth and progress, and cultivate a positive self-image. Believing that everyone has their own unique value and meaning is the first step to living your best life!

Everyone is special and has their own value and meaning when it comes to the value of your existence. Here are some ways to think about the value of your existence:

1. Self-exploration: Take time to understand your interests, hobbies, strengths, and potential. Think about the areas in which you feel happy and fulfilled. You'll be amazed at how much this can reveal about your sense of worth!

2. Relationships and influence: Think about the amazing impact you can have on others! You can express your value by caring for, helping, or bringing joy to others.

3. Personal growth: Focus on personal growth and development! Pursuing self-improvement and learning new knowledge and skills is a great way to enrich your life and discover your own value along the way.

4. Inner pursuits: Think about your innermost pursuits and desires. You may have some values or goals that pursuing them can bring you meaning and satisfaction. What an amazing journey it will be!

5. Attitude towards life: Your attitude towards life can also reflect your value. And it can have a fantastic impact on yourself and those around you!

Are you ready to work hard and become the best version of yourself?

You have been hurt by being measured by utilitarianism, but you can heal!

You are so much more than any of that! You are worth so much more than that!

Your parents' preferences don't define you. The end of a relationship doesn't make you a bad person. And your boss's attitude shouldn't stop you from reaching your full potential!

You are unique! Don't let other people's standards measure you. You have your own thoughts, emotions, and abilities.

You are absolutely brilliant! You might not see it right now, but it's always there.

Pay more attention to your progress and growth! Give yourself time and space to discover your beauty. Don't be distracted by outside voices. Believe in your own value!

And you can gain strength from those who truly understand and support you!

You absolutely deserve love and respect! And you have the power to create your own happiness and success. Come on, you can do it!

The world and I love you so much!

Dear Sir or Madam,

Good morning,

An individual's value is not contingent on external factors such as education, family background, employment status, or appearance. Regardless of one's achievements, there will always be someone who has surpassed them.

You have indicated that your parents will demonstrate their preference for classmates with greater talent, which you perceive as a negative response. I respectfully inquire as to whether your parents' financial resources will be allocated to you or your classmates. Your parents' hope is that you will possess superior talents, although their expression of this sentiment may not be optimal.

Naturally, your parents consider you to be of the utmost importance.

You say, "My first love was taken away from me. A girl who was more attractive, had a higher level of education, and came from a more affluent background simply flirted with me and he ended the relationship." For an individual like this, it would be prudent to be grateful that the relationship ended. If you wait until you get married and have children, and then the same thing happens, you will likely be even more hurt. An individual like this is not someone you should invest your emotions in.

It is not surprising that your leader is more tolerant of colleagues with good performance and relatively harsh with you. Leaders also face performance pressure. If you are not performing as well as others, being relatively harsh with you is, on the other hand, also a driving force for improvement.

The fact that your classmate in designer clothes makes fun of you for wearing ordinary shoes is indicative of their shallow nature. It is not necessary to maintain a friendship with such an individual.

It is not possible to ascertain a person's true value by comparing their external conditions with those of others. One of the individuals I most admire, Mother Teresa, was financially destitute, yet she dedicated almost her entire life to charity. It would be inaccurate to suggest that she was not valuable.

From infancy, we develop into capable adults who can work and live independently. Our growth is the result of the contributions of countless individuals. I believe that helping others when possible is one of the sources of value in this process.

I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.

I can feel the confusion, helplessness, and bewilderment in the questioner's heart. I don't know the value and meaning of my life. No matter how much I do, I can't experience the joy and pleasure brought by a sense of accomplishment, let alone experience success.

At the same time, you might also feel frustrated, troubled, and even painful because you can't get the feeling you want by investing too much time and energy. You might also doubt and deny yourself more, which will increase the pain and suffering in your heart.

From what the questioner has said, it seems that he often compares himself to others. When he was young, he compared grades, talents, and family. When he grew up, he compared looks, education, jobs, and cars. It seems that comparing oneself with others is very important to the questioner. Perhaps he doesn't realize that such comparisons are what he believes to be "value" and "meaning." It's just that he cares not about the comparison itself, but about the result of the comparison. He hopes that he can outperform the other person in the comparison. This would prove that he is more capable and better than the other person. This would give him a sense of existence, achievement, and satisfaction.

But often, the person asking the question compares themselves with others and finds themselves falling short. They experience the discomfort of feeling like they're not as good as others, and their psychological needs aren't being met. Naturally, such comparisons lose their meaning.

Everyone has a different understanding and expectation of the value and meaning of life. Some people feel that making a lot of money, buying luxury cars and mansions, and wearing designer clothes is the meaning of their lives. Others feel that doing one's best to get things done and living a good life is the meaning of their lives. It can be said that everyone has their own thoughts and expectations. I feel that the value and meaning of my life is being able to do what I want to do, what I like to do, and what I can do with dedication and diligence. I try to use my knowledge and abilities to make life more enjoyable and less stressful for myself and those around me.

I'm doing the same thing right now. I'm using my knowledge and abilities to become a better person and do things so that I and the people around me can be happier and have fewer worries.

It's not always easy to get the attention, recognition, and acceptance you crave from others. And when you don't get it, it can lead to frustration and disappointment. It's important to remember that no one is obliged to give you their attention or satisfaction. Even if you're highly capable and stand out from the crowd, there will always be people who don't notice or acknowledge you. This can make you feel inferior to others, which is something we all try to avoid.

So, when you can't get recognition and acceptance from others, you have to recognize and accept yourself.

Since comparing yourself to others doesn't give you satisfaction, you might as well compare yourself to yourself. Today's you has learned more than yesterday's you, is more capable, earns more money, has helped someone, has become more beautiful, feels better, etc. I personally feel that these can all be your "achievements" and a reflection of your "success." Success doesn't have to be in the grandiose sense; you can witness success in the details.

So, I think it's important to ask yourself what kind of life you want and what your goals are. Having a goal in life gives your life meaning. You know where you're going and what you need to do to get there. That's how you can live a fulfilling, wonderful, and happy life.

Just so you know, the above are my personal opinions, for your reference only.

Good morning,

A pat on the shoulder.

Even when there's a huge difference in strength, are people still equal in value?

What makes a person valuable? Is it things like education, family, work, appearance, age, or other qualities?

I agree with the OP that all of these things are important and that the distribution of abilities and resources is not entirely fair.

For instance, the "injustice" phenomenon that the questioner mentioned:

The same clothes look great on other people, but when I wear them, I'm often told I look "ugly."

With the same effort, others get great results, while I get mediocre ones.

It seems that when it comes to love, others can easily fall in love, while I need to put in more effort.

All of the above show different standards and requirements. I feel like I'm being treated differently, so I strongly reject the outside world and doubt myself. I feel like I have no value, and even my parents favor more talented people...

So, should I just let go from now on and stop paying attention to myself and my own development?

If I really feel tired of comparisons, it will only lead to more negative emotions and negative influences. The questioner can also choose to "act like a loser" and give themselves more space to rest and relax.

If I don't get any compliments when I wear nice clothes, I'm not going to expect positive responses from others.

I've been trying for a long time, but my work still hasn't been recognized. I'm going to temporarily give up trying to gain the appreciation and recognition of my leader.

When my boyfriend sees a pretty girl, he moves on and falls in love with her. I just give up and don't force it.

If you follow your true thoughts and wishes and treat others and your goals in life accordingly, what changes will you see? Maybe others will stay the same, judging others or themselves according to their own values and ideas, but I won't feel like my life is solely determined by them. In fact, I might feel more at ease enjoying my own state of life.

So, what makes someone valuable isn't based on a single standard. It's about their inherent value, which isn't dependent on external validation.

The world's selection principles are different, though. I'm always compared unfavorably, so I feel pretty inferior and undervalued.

If you think this way, at the age of trying to explore yourself, it's normal to have doubts and confusion. We've lived a long time in an environment of external demands, so we haven't properly perceived our own feelings or valued ourselves. This has led to an inferiority complex, which has formed under natural conditions and suppressed our vitality and self-confidence.

But when we define ourselves as worthless and failures with no connection to happiness because of our inferiority complex, this summary of the concept of "value of existence" is a bit too narrow.

A person's value isn't just about what society expects. It's also about the value of existence itself, which can get overshadowed by emotions and pain in the moment.

A happy person knows their worth. A confident person knows that someone with more ability doesn't have less value. They're equal, with the same rights.

However, society often judges people based on the roles they play in society, so competition is unavoidable. What someone is good at may not be what I'm good at. But I also have my own unique value in other ways. So, people who play to their strengths are more likely to adapt to the environment and find happiness.

When you look at problems and deal with things from such a perspective of appreciating and affirming yourself from the inside out, you may still find injustices, but you'll have more objective perspectives to think about things. For example, when your boyfriend sees a pretty girl, he turns away. It may not be that you're not worthy of love, but that his loyalty and concept of love are weak. If he changes girlfriends, he may still like other people.

I hope these answers are helpful to you.

Wishing you the best!

Dear questioner, I acknowledge the legitimacy of your feelings. In a society that is characterized by competitiveness and comparison, it is not uncommon for individuals to experience doubt and confusion regarding their self-worth.

It must be acknowledged, however, that one's value is not contingent upon external standards or comparisons with others. Each individual possesses intrinsic value, and their existence alone is a valuable contribution to society.

In regard to the perceived strength gap, it can be argued that this is a social construct shaped by prevailing standards and values. While these standards and values are often rooted in utilitarianism and materialism, it is important to recognize that they do not necessarily reflect the full spectrum of human capabilities and potential.

It is important to recognize that everyone possesses both strengths and weaknesses. These inherent qualities represent the foundation of our individual value.

As you indicated, some individuals are not particularly adept in all areas, yet they exude a remarkable sense of self-assurance. This is largely attributed to their comprehension of the intrinsic value of self-worth and their ability to embrace their multifaceted identity.

Such individuals are aware that their value is not contingent upon external achievements and material possessions, but rather upon their inner qualities and characteristics. Consequently, even in the absence of outstanding performance in certain areas, they are able to maintain a confident and optimistic outlook.

The question thus arises as to how one might recognize oneself, identify shortcomings, and yet avoid feelings of inferiority while still striving to realize one's potential. To this end, the following suggestions are offered for consideration.

Firstly, it is recommended that an individual adopt a multifaceted perspective when considering their own attributes. Rather than focusing on perceived shortcomings and weaknesses, it is also important to acknowledge strengths and advantages.

Each individual possesses unique strengths and abilities, which may not be immediately apparent. However, with time and opportunity, these qualities can be identified and cultivated.

Secondly, it is important to learn to accept and care for oneself. This entails accepting oneself in one's entirety, including one's strengths and weaknesses, while also being mindful of one's own expectations.

Concurrently, it is imperative to cultivate self-care practices to ensure optimal physical and mental well-being, which is essential for maintaining a positive outlook.

Furthermore, it is recommended that greater attention be paid to one's own inner feelings and needs. It is advised that external standards and expectations be avoided, and that one learn to listen to one's inner voice and understand one's true needs.

It is only through a genuine focus on one's own emotional and psychological needs that an accurate understanding of one's intrinsic value can be achieved.

In conclusion, it is important to note that one should not concern themselves with the opinions of others. Each individual possesses a unique way of life and a distinct set of values, and it is unfeasible to satisfy the preferences of all parties.

It is therefore imperative that we concentrate on our own growth and development, act in accordance with our own moral code, and embrace each moment of our lives with gratitude.

In conclusion, the value of an individual is not contingent upon external factors or comparisons with others. Each person possesses intrinsic value, regardless of their circumstances or the opinions of others.

It is imperative that you believe in yourself, your potential, and your abilities. With courage, pursue your aspirations and objectives. I am confident that you will be able to identify your own light and value.

Good day.

I am a 31-year-old woman with a mortgage and a car loan.

I currently have outstanding debts and no savings.

I possess a Bachelor's Degree, have undergone dental surgery, and am nearsighted.

I am employed in a clerical position in a second-tier city and receive a monthly salary of 3,000 yuan.

I possess no special skills, no makeup, and my attire consists of garments costing 59 yuan, 69 yuan, and 119 yuan, respectively, with an overall cost of less than 300 yuan for a complete outfit.

I utilize a canvas bag or a plastic bag for my daily commute to work.

I am the individual whom you may refer to as "not as good as others."

What is the relevance of this information?

I am aware that I made the down payment on the house, that I made the mortgage payments, that I ran the renovations, and that I purchased the furniture.

Furthermore, I financed the purchase of my vehicle with my own savings.

I am financially independent and self-reliant. I am a valuable asset.

You focus on the positive aspects of others while overlooking their shortcomings.

As the adage goes, one cannot discern the thief being beaten when they are seen eating meat. Guan Xiaotong is envied for her wealth, appearance, physique, and resources, yet she has also worked assiduously behind the scenes.

You envy your classmates, friends, and colleagues because they are wealthier than you and have the financial support of an entire family behind them. Without this support, they might not perform as well as you.

Every situation has two sides.

It is important to consider other factors and not to focus solely on the outward appearance of others.

If someone appears to be more successful than you, it may be because they have the backing of others or because they are genuinely working hard. The most concerning individuals are those who have material support and yet still demonstrate a drive to improve themselves.

Your excellence lies in your willingness to work hard even without financial support.

This is a quality that many individuals in today's society are unable to demonstrate.

In a society where utilitarianism is the norm, I empathize with your feelings and struggles. Currently, there is a greater tolerance for individuals who are perceived as more valuable. For instance, a teacher may allow a student with good grades to make a mistake, and a boss may grant more privileges to someone with good performance.

This phenomenon cannot be said to be completely accurate, but it is largely reflective of the prevailing social norms. It would be more beneficial to focus on individual self-perception rather than societal expectations.

At the age of 32, you have already established your own residence, which places you at a significant advantage in comparison to many individuals. A woman's physical beauty is often at its peak during her thirties. If the age of twenty is analogous to the budding of flowers, then thirty represents the stage of maturity and charm.

It is therefore inaccurate to define oneself as a total failure.

Indeed, the confusion you are currently experiencing is largely a result of your elevated self-expectations and a somewhat narrow interpretation of success. Your inclination to assess your performance against a standard of "success" indicates that you are a highly motivated and ambitious individual, suggesting a robust internal drive.

However, some of your current perceptions are inappropriate and, to some extent, limiting your abilities.

Firstly, this is an absolute perception of oneself.

The individual in question considers the absence of employment and financial reserves to be indicative of failure. Furthermore, they tend to retrospectively evaluate their upbringing in a negative light, perceiving it as a source of inadequacy.

Secondly, the tendency to generalize from a limited number of examples is indicative of a perception of success.

Your concept of success is primarily materialistic, and you utilize this criterion to assess the value of an individual.

It should be noted that this kind of measurement is one-sided.

Thirdly, this is a highly problematic situation. It represents the most significant challenge currently facing you. You have internalised the standards of success set by others, leading you to believe that you are not only unsuccessful, but also a failure. This perceived failure is evident in every aspect of your life, causing you to deny your own capabilities and feel inferior.

This perception has become a vicious circle, causing the individual to fall into a state of unceasing self-negation.

In consideration of your particular circumstances, it is this author's recommendation that you:

1. Accept and fully understand yourself. Initially, it is important to recognize that everyone possesses both strengths and weaknesses, and that this is a natural phenomenon. To gain a deeper understanding of oneself, it is recommended to engage in introspective reflection, noting one's strengths and weaknesses in a tranquil setting.

Additionally, it is important to cultivate an appreciation for one's own unique attributes and to refrain from comparing one's shortcomings with others' strengths. Learning to appreciate oneself, accept oneself, and enhance one's self-awareness is crucial for personal growth and development.

2. Adjust the Environment: The environment exerts a profound influence on human psychology. One can foster a positive ambience by modifying one's living space, for instance, by incorporating inspirational calligraphy, artwork, or greenery.

Additionally, it is beneficial to cultivate relationships with individuals who embody optimism and confidence, as their positive disposition can exert a subtle yet profound influence on one's own outlook.

3. Develop positive habits: Smiling has been demonstrated to have a beneficial effect on emotional state. It is therefore recommended that individuals should endeavour to smile more frequently during their daily lives, and that they should adopt a positive mindset as a matter of course. Furthermore, it has been shown that participation in activities that promote mental and physical wellbeing, such as running and long walks, can result in increased blood circulation and metabolic rate, which in turn can lead to the elimination of negative emotions.

4. Seeking support is crucial. It is beneficial to share one's feelings with family, friends, or a counselor. Their encouragement and support can facilitate the breaking down of psychological barriers. Concurrently, it is important to engage in activities that promote self-reflection and self-improvement. This can be achieved by summarizing experiences and identifying one's strengths and weaknesses, which will enhance self-awareness.

5. Continuous learning: Engage with inspirational literature or materials to stimulate your potential. By acquiring new knowledge, you can enhance your competitiveness, expand your horizons, and cultivate innovative thinking, which will collectively bolster your self-confidence.

6. Challenge yourself: Attempt to undertake new challenges and tasks. By overcoming difficulties and pressure, one can enhance their self-awareness and self-confidence.

Concurrently, it is imperative to alter the conventional understanding of success. Success is a broad concept.

This is particularly the case with regard to the concept of human value.

One might inquire whether Hui Ka Yan could be considered successful despite his considerable wealth and eventual indictment for tax evasion. Similarly, it could be debated whether the value of Zhang Guimei, the headmaster who transformed the lives of numerous girls through his establishment of an educational institution in a remote locale, can be quantified in monetary terms.

In conclusion, as a member of society, one's value is contingent upon their contribution to society within their means. Grandpa Bai Fangli, for instance, provides support to numerous students through the use of a tricycle, and his actions serve as an exemplary model for others to emulate.

It is my sincere hope that you will be able to find your own path to personal growth and fulfillment during your formative years. I am confident that with dedication and perseverance, you will achieve great things. I encourage you to pursue your goals with passion and determination.

You brought up value and success, so let's start there.

Everyone has value potential. Some people make the most of it, while others don't. Value is also reflected when a person contributes to others.

When someone is born, it's not fair to compare their value potential to others. But as they learn and improve, their value potential will grow. And that takes commitment. Over time, that commitment will lead to a growing value potential.

Of course, sometimes value potential can be higher than expected in certain situations, but this is also related to past experience. For example, when the Red Army was being pursued and blocked, a shepherd showed them a mountain path, and this event was of great value.

If you don't have a goal, you can't talk about success or failure. If the goal is set too high, it's not easy to succeed. You have to break it down into small goals that you can achieve, and each time you do, you're one step closer to success.

If you set the bar too high and you can't reach it, it's not a dream, it's a fantasy.

If you work towards established and achievable goals every day, you'll see your value or value potential being realized or increased.

Let's also talk about feeling inferior.

If you don't compare yourself to others, you won't feel inferior. Always look up with a static perspective, and there are always people who are better than you in every moment.

It's important to understand that greatness can come from different places. Someone who achieves great things through their own efforts is someone we can all learn from. But someone who achieves great things because of their environment might not be as admirable.

On top of that, if a robber stands in front of you with arrogance, will you still feel inferior? If you still feel inferior, it's a matter of values.

Be self-motivated without feeling inferior. Your brain is made up of neurons, and in terms of function, it's basically the same as an animal's brain. If you're motivated, you can also have higher potential value, and the potential is endless.

If you just look at the absolute strength of people who have worked hard every day and feel inferior, then go ahead and feel that way.

Let's talk about what people think of you.

1. You are valuable right now. Your daily consumption contributes to the economy, which is valuable. Taking out a loan to buy a house is valuable in terms of boosting the sluggish real estate market. Carrying out your parents' expectations is valuable to them. Spending time with friends provides cognitive and emotional value.

2. Your potential value is yet to be developed. Are you unemployed passively or actively? Chances are, you're actively unemployed. Finding a job and going to work every day is valuable in itself, and you can contribute more value with your salary.

Don't aim too high and settle for less. Any job done with passion has room for improvement. With hard work, you can succeed in any industry.

3. Rebuild your underlying perception: You are not stupid or silly, and there is no essential difference between you and anyone else. This is an absolute truth. There is no such thing as easy success. If you want to succeed, you must work hard. The sooner you start, the sooner you will succeed.

Set a small goal, break it down into steps you can take, and get started. You'll be halfway there before you know it.

I understand. Comparisons and judgments can make you feel inferior and powerless.

Your value is not defined by what you achieve.

You said your family and friends care about you. This is important. Relationships give us a foundation and meaning for our lives.

Everyone is different. You may not be an entrepreneur, but you may have other talents and interests.

Explore your interests, skills, and passions to find your value and happiness.

To recognize yourself, focus on your inner needs and feelings. Record your thoughts and feelings to understand yourself better.

Find people you can talk to about your thoughts and feelings.

Everyone has their own rhythm and life trajectory. Don't be anxious or self-critical. Believe in yourself and move forward at your own pace.

Every challenge is an opportunity to grow. Every effort brings you closer to your dreams.

The actions and attitudes of those people do not represent your value. Draw strength from those experiences, not letting them define you.

You can focus on your own growth and progress.

You have unique value and charm. Cherish yourself, believe in yourself, and pursue your dreams.

I'll always support you and help you achieve your goals.

Hello, dear question asker. I see your ramblings, and I'm here to help. It seems you're confused about whether human value is still equal in the face of an absolute power gap. And you're wondering how you can recognize yourself.

You're three years my senior, so there's a generational gap, but there's also none. As a younger woman who also feels inferior, I want to talk to you. You said you have a mortgage, no savings, and no job. When I read that, I really admire you. You have courage. Having a mortgage means you own a house. How can you be a failure?

You have so much courage!

It's okay to feel hurt by your parents when you were young (they always compared you to others), and it's okay to feel abandoned by your boyfriend when you grew up. It's also okay to feel judged by your boss at work. When you think about these things, it's natural to feel like you're not good enough. We all do it! We unconsciously compare ourselves to others, and it can lead to feeling like you're not good enough and you're really bad.

It's important to remember that when we're comparing ourselves, it's best to do so with others who are in the same situation. For instance, let's say I'm a leader in a certain industry but I'm not as well-rounded in my personal life. Would it be fair for me to judge myself as a failure? Absolutely not!

In the face of an absolute power gap, it's important to remember that human value cannot be equated. This is not quite the same as whether the value you speak of is equal. The value is essentially the same, and it's so important to recognize that the value of a farmer is just as important as that of a scientist, because they are both indispensable (I'm not sure if you understand this example, but I'm here to help if you need it).

So, how do you recognize yourself? It's simple! Just accept yourself, and everything that's happening right now, just as you are. You have the energy to resist the chaos, and you're doing a great job! Sometimes value comes from the feedback of others, and sometimes we ourselves are the value that exists.

That's all I can think of for now, sweetheart. In one mind, the world and I love you ???.

Hi, I'm Berek.

First of all, I want to say that your feelings are totally understandable. Many people experience this when they feel pressured to compare themselves to others. Our society is utilitarian to some extent, but that doesn't mean we have to define our value based on that.

Everyone is valuable, and your value isn't tied to things like education, job, family background, or appearance. Your value comes from your existence, your feelings, your thoughts, and your uniqueness.

Your life is your own, not something to be compared with others.

I know the experiences you mentioned were measured by utilitarian values and they've caused you a lot of distress. But remember, the opinions of those people don't represent who you are.

Their comments may be based on their own biases and misunderstandings, not your actual value. You need to learn to tune out the noise, focus on your inner self, and find your own value and direction.

I also suggest you try to accept your own imperfections and gaps. We all have our own strengths and weaknesses, and that's normal.

You don't have to change yourself to meet other people's expectations. It's important to grow and improve for your own sake. When you start to accept and love yourself, you'll find that you have a lot to offer.

You might also want to look for things you can do that make you feel confident and valuable. These could be things you're good at or things you enjoy doing.

If you do these things, you'll gradually build up your self-confidence and sense of worth.

Finally, I just want to say that you're not alone. Lots of people have gone through similar experiences and are still struggling to find their own value and direction.

You might want to think about joining some communities or organizations where you can interact with and share with like-minded people. You'll find that everyone has their own story and value, just like you.

I hope these suggestions will be helpful to you. Remember, your value is not defined by others, but by yourself.

Believe in yourself and your value, and you'll be able to find your own direction and live your best life.

Wishing you the best!

Hello! I'll give you a hug.

You brought up an interesting point. You said that people's values are unequal, which is true.

We say everyone is born equal, but this is relative. Some people never get to Rome, while others are born there.

Everyone is ordinary, but everyone's different. We evaluate people based on their value, power, and benefits. Then, we choose the best way to interact with them.

This is how we value others. We act according to our values. A recent college graduate may respect a small business owner who can provide a job. The other person is valuable to them.

A laborer with ten years of experience has more confidence and a better sense of self-worth.

We measure the value of adults and ourselves. A junior college graduate wouldn't apply for a job requiring a doctoral degree.

The two aren't a good match. A company looking for a PhD candidate wouldn't choose someone with a junior college degree.

Everyone has a scale in their hearts, weighing themselves and weighing others. But society often uses visible things to measure a person, like education, family, appearance, and income.

These are visible and easy to compare. But the invisible, like cognition and personality, take time to understand and are difficult to evaluate.

We must accept that others' opinions of us are simple and crude. They will use these standards to measure us.

But we also have to accept that others see us as they want to see us, not as we really are. Just because others don't think we're valuable doesn't mean we're not.

We shouldn't make ourselves feel worthless. A person's value is what they think it is. If a person feels worthless, then they are worthless.

Everyone is valuable. Everyone is unique and has a unique value to their family and friends.

Many people want to live a serious life because they know they are valuable to those who love them. You said your parents care about you, you care about yourself, and your relatives and friends care about you. You think this is the value of your current existence.

If you're old enough, you'll find that these people really care about us. They love us and provide value. Other relationships may be more based on value. They can be maintained if they are useful, but it is difficult to maintain them if they are not useful.

This usefulness is very broad. Being able to eat, drink, and have fun together is also useful, but these relationships can be replaced.

You are valuable to your family.

Maybe you're the reason your parents work hard and give others love. This is your most basic value. If you disappeared, they'd be sad.

Your parents value you just for being you.

Everyone is valuable. Even if someone can't create value, they can still be a consumer. Consumers are valuable to social development.

Minors don't create value, but their needs are valuable to society. As long as a person is alive, they are valuable to society.

As for the boss and others, let's keep it simple. It's all about work. As long as you can work together, it's fine. Don't seek emotional value at work. Colleagues and bosses come together to make money.

As for others measuring us, that is their freedom. We will measure in the same way.

We can ignore others or join in.

For example, judging success by the size of one's home. We can choose to not care about what others say.

You can also work hard to earn money to buy a big house and a nice car. Don't be torn between two sides. Don't say you don't care while hoping to meet other people's standards.

This is hard to untangle. It's also hard to calm down and see your own value.

Talk to a counselor.

I'm a counselor who is sometimes depressed but mostly optimistic. I love the world and you.

Hello. I can see you're confused. I'm here to help.

You can feel the difficulties you are facing. I hug you again. In this stressful social environment, it is easy to feel that you do not meet the standards of success, especially when everyone around you seems to have met these standards.

This may also make you feel anxious and confused. Many people feel this way when they are under pressure and compared to others. Your feelings are normal.

Please let me hug you again. Life is hard, especially when we try to balance social expectations with personal aspirations.

Your value is not defined by external standards. It is a complex combination of your thoughts, emotions, experiences, and dreams. Everyone has their own path and rhythm.

Your emotions and experiences shape you. They give you a unique perspective and strength.

We can work together to improve your self-awareness and sense of worth. I hope this helps.

Write down your strengths and moments of pride. This will help you see your value.

Record the things you are grateful for every day.

You can also try to avoid relationships and environments that make you feel uncomfortable to protect your emotional well-being.

Say nice things to yourself to remind yourself how precious you are.

You can also find people who are confident and draw inspiration from them.

Remember, your feelings matter, and your value is not just about what you do. You have the right to see yourself and the world in a way that is true for you.

This shows you're already looking for change and growth. Keep up the courage, believe in yourself, and know your voice is worth being heard. I hope this helps.

The world and I love you!