In the second year of high school, I regretted taking a break from school as soon as I did. I always felt like I was missing out on something. What should I do?

It's been a few hours now, 16 to be exact.

I took a leave of absence just a few days ago. I had taken so many leaves of absence last semester that I thought the teacher wouldn't let me take one this semester, so I took one anyway. As soon as I got home, I felt really bad about it. I felt panicky and uncomfortable, like I'd lost something. I couldn't sleep because I was so stressed, and I kept crying. I lost my appetite and couldn't eat. I felt like I'd wasted this year, and I felt really bad about that.

Hello, classmate! I really feel for you when I read your question and see your current dilemma. You are in the second year of high school, which is a critical period for learning, so I can imagine your current state of mind must be particularly stressful. On the one hand, you are responsible for your own difficult-to-regulate emotional state, and on the other hand, you want to explain to your parents, teachers, and classmates how to deal with your studies in a reasonable way.

You're still such a kindhearted kid who can easily put yourself in other people's shoes!

Think about that time when you didn't have the strength to go to school due to depression and physical reasons. You didn't have friends at school and didn't go to lunch. You were depressed all over, couldn't sleep at night, and were scared to go to school the next morning. You cried every day and felt so miserable and helpless. Dear child, it's really hard to imagine how you got through it! If this state of affairs continues, it's hard to imagine what the outcome will be.

You've taken a lot of leaves of absence in the past, and as you said, it can be tough to take leave frequently, like whether the teacher will agree. It seems like a more reasonable and responsible choice for you to temporarily suspend your studies for now and take some time to adjust.

I totally get it. I know you regret taking a break from school because you know how expensive rent is and how much pressure you're under. You want to help your parents out by finishing school early.

And while you're at home resting, you feel a strong sense of guilt and intense anxiety. After all, children of the same age are going to school, but you're at home resting, which makes you feel particularly uncomfortable. You even become sensitive and paranoid. You're afraid that your classmates will tease you when you go back to school, and that the teacher might say something about you.

You're also worried about upsetting your mom again, and I can imagine how hard that must be for you.

My dear child, I'm so sorry to read this. I really want to help you sort out some of your thoughts and make you re-examine your own state and the environment you are in, so you can find a way to cope more easily.

1. When it comes to taking a break from school, it's important to first accept the situation. Talk to your family about how you're feeling and what you're thinking. If you can express your feelings and gratitude to them and gain their support and understanding, I truly believe your psychological burden will be greatly reduced. Since your mother has applied for your suspension of studies, have you also noticed that she is accepting of the situation?

It might be a good idea to talk to your mom and ask her what she thinks. It's important to understand her perspective and figure out your own plan for life as a student. For instance, how long do you think you'll take? What will you do during that time? And will it give you some confidence and motivation so that you're motivated enough to return to school?

2. I can understand why you're worried that your classmates will scold you and your teachers will say things about you if you go back to school. I'd love to hear what you think your classmates will scold you for and what your teachers will say about you if you go back to school.

I'm wondering if you've experienced these things, or if they're just your worries.

I'd love to know your thoughts on their evaluation. It seems like you feel that taking a break from school is dishonorable, even shameful.

I'm so glad you asked!

My dear child, you want to tell me that depression is not your fault, but that your emotional state needs to be adjusted. Taking a break from school is just a coping strategy for your lack of ability to independently face all the pressures at school. It is not a shame. If during the period of taking a break from school, you can adjust to a state that is relatively more adapted to school life, then taking a break from school will definitely have more benefits than disadvantages. I know it can be tough, but you've got this!

So, the most important thing for you right now is not whether it's wrong to go back to school or take a break. It's about making sure you're in a good place mentally and emotionally. You've got this! Take it step by step. Adjust to a state that's right for you. Don't give up on yourself. Keep up the great work and try your best to maintain your academic performance. And do something that makes you feel meaningful and worthwhile. You've got this!

3. Coping with depression. I'm sure you've already received treatment for the relevant symptoms, right?

Please don't hesitate to keep seeking consultation and treatment if you need to. You'll find lots of helpful professional counselors on the Yi Xinli platform. You can even make an appointment to get help from them, so you can work together to face depression.

My advice is that I feel I can see your motivation to be needed. You mentioned that your mother helped you with your leave of absence from school, that rent is expensive, and that you hope to graduate successfully to reduce the burden on your family. I can see how important it is for you to be needed!

My dear child, do you understand? I'm here to help you find your motivation.

What is your potential? Your concern for your mother and your concern for the lives of your family members are all manifestations of your need to be needed!

Your mother loves you and wants you to live a happy and healthy life. She needs you, and so do your family members. They care about you a lot!

For the sake of those who love you, I really think you should try to slowly adjust yourself.

I really hope this helps!

Hello!

First of all, I know you took a leave of absence from school because you were going through a rough patch. It's totally understandable! You were struggling with depression, which is never easy. I admire your courage in taking a leave of absence to focus on your mental health. It's a great way to give yourself the space and time you need to heal. So, please don't be too hard on yourself. You've already done so much to take care of yourself.

I can see you're feeling a bit down about school at the moment. It's totally normal to feel a bit guilty about taking a break from school at home, especially when you see your friends going to school. It's also understandable that you're worried about your parents' money and want to work hard at school like your friends. These are all great ideas, but sometimes reality can be a bit overwhelming. It's important to rest and adjust, and since it's already happened, there's no use in regretting it. The most important thing right now is to adjust to a mindset that is suitable for going to school. I'm sure your parents would love for you to go to school, but it's also okay to take some time for yourself. Try to convince yourself that no one will think it's your fault. You've got this!

It's totally normal to feel anxious about going back to school. I know you're worried that your teachers and classmates will scold you, but I promise you that's not going to happen! I also went through a period of not going to school because of my physical condition. I was so worried that people would think I was lazy or strange. I had a lot of thoughts running through my mind every day, and I was really reluctant to go back. But when I did, I realized that my teachers were just concerned about whether you could keep up in class, and my classmates were happy to see you back. Nothing bad is going to happen. You've got this! Try to relax and get rid of this mentality as soon as possible, so you can go back to school soon. You're a very motivated and responsible child, and I'm sure your teachers and classmates are excited to have you back.

Dear Questioner, I empathize with your situation. My child is approximately the same age as yours, and I can relate to the circumstances and pressures you are facing.

It is evident that you possess a high degree of emotional intelligence. It is challenging to maintain empathy towards one's parents when one is grappling with internal struggles. From your narrative, it is apparent that you have employed the following terms to describe your emotional state: sensitive, guilty, anorexic, insomnia, scared, depressed, and powerless.

Furthermore, a diagnosis of major depressive disorder has been made.

It may seem unusual to offer congratulations, but I believe you possess the qualities of a natural talent. You were born to be a healer. The experiences you are currently undergoing are akin to those of an individual struggling with significant psychological trauma. You are highly sensitive and possess an acute awareness of the needs and feelings of others. You strive to promote the well-being of others and are adept at accurately articulating your genuine emotions. These are the essential attributes of an exemplary psychotherapist.

It would be erroneous to assume that this ability is possessed by ordinary adults. I am acquainted with numerous esteemed psychotherapists who have had experiences akin to yours.

Indeed, you are excessively sensitive. I am uncertain as to when you relinquished your childlike identity and began to emulate an "adult in miniature." You began to empathize with others, suppressing your own feelings and feigning the absence of emotional needs. In the face of being overlooked, rejected, or ignored (as you have previously described, after returning to school, the teacher will criticize you and the classmates will laugh at you), you do not experience anger. Instead, you choose to disengage.

One might inquire as to who has taken away your strength to fight.

It is recommended that you release your pent-up emotions.

One may attempt to utilize the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), which comprises four principal steps.

1. Direct attention to the emotion in question.

2. Determine the intensity of the emotion.

3. Formulate an affirmation and a reminder phrase.

I accept myself fully, despite my ____.

4. Terminate the psychological reversal and cease self-punishment.

The circumstances of your childhood are unclear, but it is evident that you have become adept at suppressing your emotions and feelings. This has reached the point where you believe you are stress-free, despite the evidence to the contrary. It is now necessary for you to learn to release these repressed emotions and regain your strength.

The ability to accept one's emotions, provide them with a space, and then address them is a skill that can be cultivated. The act of suppressing emotions can have a detrimental impact on one's spiritual well-being, as it hinders the potential for personal growth and healing.

The following exercise is to be completed by the reader.

For a few minutes, close your eyes and visualize the situation that causes you distress. This could be, for example, the fear and anxiety that many people experience when returning to school or anger. Think about the emotions that make you feel vulnerable and that you do not like to show.

It is crucial to acknowledge and accept one's emotions, just as one might subdue tears to avoid public display. Emotions are an inherent aspect of the human experience; therefore, it is essential to embrace them as a means of personal growth and healing.

Inhale deeply and calmly, then exhale, attempting to breathe with the abdomen. Relax the shoulders, face, hands, and the entire body. Continue to open the heart and experience the emotions, then begin to heal the mind. Rhythmically tap the point beneath the chin (right in the middle) while repeating the following affirmation:

I embrace self-love, self-acceptance, and emotional vulnerability, and I permit myself to fully experience and accept all emotions. I have released the compulsion to suppress emotions from the deepest part of me, in their entirety, from the first instance of emotional suppression.

I elect to be wholly authentic in all circumstances, both at this time and in perpetuity.

It is my conviction that each individual possesses considerable power within themselves. I believe that wounds allow more light into one's world and that, with time, wounds will be healed and unique gifts will flourish. This process is beneficial to humanity as a whole and serves to enlighten the lives of others. As a listening coach, I, Zhang Huili, extend an invitation to anyone who may be interested in sharing their experiences with me.

Hello, host!

Give yourself a warm hug! I want you to know that since we've already taken a leave of absence and our school situation is pretty rough, we might as well give ourselves a little time to adjust and recuperate.

It's so great that you've already discovered that you experienced long periods of chest pain and insomnia during your time at school. It's clear that you were in a bad state. I can see that this was caused by psychological pressure and also by your excessive anxiety. I find that you are a child who is particularly prone to self-awareness, which is a wonderful quality to have!

Another great thing you said was that you sometimes feel too sensitive. This is a wonderful realization of yourself! You need to believe that being sensitive is not a bad thing. Being sensitive is a gift that allows you to predict danger early. What you need to do is master your gift and apply it!

Let's focus on what we can do during this period of recuperation, shall we?

First, let's stop blaming ourselves. It's so important to remember that blaming ourselves is the main thing that will make our mood get worse and worse. It can even make us fall into an emotional abyss from which we cannot escape. So let's stop blaming ourselves. Just like a fever or a cold, everyone gets sick sometimes. And when we're sick, we need to rest. We haven't done anything wrong.

We all get down sometimes, and that's okay! It's like having a fever. You're not sick, you're just feeling a little blue. You just need to take it easy and give yourself some TLC.

Second, you can ask yourself inwardly, "Why are you so stressed? What exactly is causing your stress?"

Take a moment to think about whether it's your academic performance or your interpersonal relationships that are causing you stress. Once you've identified the root of the problem, you can start to work on a solution.

You can take a look at each problem individually. For instance, if you have trouble learning and always feel like you're not doing well, you might put too much pressure on yourself.

If this is the reason, you need to know that learning is a long process. No one learns everything at once; they all learn slowly. You need to keep practicing and keep improving. So don't blame yourself, don't feel stupid, and think about what you should do next, how to arrange your own learning plan, and what kind of learning plan will make you learn comfortably and efficiently? This is a question that requires us to think about.

If you're having trouble with your relationships with others, do you blame yourself? Or do you just complain about other people?

It's so important to remember that self-blame and complaining about others will only make you feel bad. This can hold you back and hinder your academic performance. Many high school students have bad relationships because they don't do well in school, and this can be a vicious cycle.

If your interpersonal relationships are bad, your studies will suffer even more. But don't worry! The way to improve my interpersonal relationships is actually very simple.

You just need to be yourself, sweetie. People you like will find you because of your wonderful influence, and people you don't like won't find you. There's no need to force yourself to be popular. So just be yourself, and don't try to please others. And don't pretend to like others, either. You'll find that when you're in a good mood, the people who like you will find you.

I can see that you've been through a lot, and I admire your resilience. It's understandable that you're worried about your mother's concerns and want to shoulder the burden. You're a kind, responsible, and thoughtful young man.

Your sweet mother will also see that, and she knows you're not in the best mood right now. She also hopes to give you some time to adjust. So let's adjust properly, okay? But adjusting doesn't mean we don't need to do anything. You can make small study plans that fit your abilities. For example, I know I'm taking a year off from school, and I'm not saying it's completely useless. I have to learn ten English words every day.

Do just one math problem every day. I'm not doing this to keep up with the other students, but to keep me in a learning state. Don't worry, take your time. When you're ready, you can join the learning progress of other students.

I love you, and I hope this helps!

Hello, my dear friend. I'm so sorry to hear you're going through a rough time. It's clear from your description that you're struggling with some tough emotions and feelings of avoidance, which can be really difficult. I'm here for you, and I want you to know that I'm sending you all the love and support you need.

But, hey, these are just your own thoughts. Whether or not you cause trouble for others is their business. I know it might sound selfish, but it's not that crazy of an idea.

It's totally normal to feel a bit off-kilter after suspending your studies. It's inevitable that you'll have a certain impact on yourself and disrupt your existing state of equilibrium. But don't worry! You can try:

I'm sure you have your reasons for taking a break from school, and I'm here to support you. It's totally normal to feel down, scared of social interaction, unable to focus on your studies, or misunderstood.

All of this is enough to make anyone stop and unload their burdens.

So, I think your decision to take a break from school was a really wise move. It's great that you've had the chance to switch to a new environment, where you can accept yourself and adjust your mentality.

The hardest thing for people to deal with is often not a sudden shock, but a kind of ongoing pain and suffering that seems never-ending. And you're going through just that right now, in this environment of pain, loss, rejection, escape, and sadness.

So, it looks like your suspension is a good thing for you, your family, and your friends!

2. During your time off, you can make a great plan for yourself and save up all that wonderful energy!

Even though you're on leave, there's still a lot to do! There are at least three areas to focus on:

(1) Be good to yourself! You need to fight for more energy for yourself and save up your energy.

I'm sorry to say that this statement isn't quite right.

We all have a limited amount of energy, and even if you manage to boost it, there's only so much you can do. It's important to plan how to use your existing energy wisely. Negative emotions and personal stress can really drain your energy, taking away from the energy that supports your normal, positive, and sunny life. So, it's a good idea to make a plan and readjust.

We all know how hard it is to make these kinds of adjustments on your own.

2) Schoolwork. Your biggest task at the moment is still studying. Don't think that just because you're temporarily away from campus, you don't need to study. On the contrary, you need to work even harder, because this year is very crucial.

3) Family: You need the love and support of your family, the care of your parents, good company, and a healthy lifestyle.

So, it's really important to take certain steps to help yourself, like communicating your pain and your needs in a way that works for you.

3. Stay on top of your game with a good routine!

It's so important to remember that during the year, in addition to dealing with your psychological state, which requires a lot of time and energy, you also need to maintain a good routine. We all know that after being away from a stressful environment, it is easy for people to retaliate and relax, that is, indulge. The most common is irregular personal routines, and the release of pressure can easily get out of control.

4. Be your own best friend and fight against your own state of mind.

You're doing a great job of understanding your current psychological state. Since you've decided to take a leave of absence, in addition to changing your environment to regulate yourself, you also need to avoid affecting your classmates and teachers with your emotions so that you can fully concentrate on the rigorous exam process.

When you're dealing with your mental health, it's so important to take care of yourself. You can follow your doctor's advice and seek the support of a professional counselor to help you through this.

Wishing you all the best!