Introverted and reluctant to speak, always feeling out of place, creating a sense of distance?

Once upon a time, a semicircle wanted to fit in with the crowd. It kept changing its shape, but it got hurt many times. By the time it finally met another semicircle, it was already badly injured.

We don't have to call ourselves unsociable and quiet. Maybe we just don't fit in. In a circle we like, we can see what kind of personality we have.

We can achieve the personality we want. Don't let others say you're unfriendly or arrogant.

If you don't know your strengths, you might have weaknesses, but you still have strengths. You can try to reduce your depression and face the situation happily.

If you want to change your personality, take the Rainbow Personality or Inner Animal Archetypes tests. They'll help you find your blind spots, view yourself and the world with an open mind, and reduce comparisons with the outside world. You can also talk to a counselor about your recent thoughts. Good luck.

ZQ?

Hello!

Pat the head! There's a child!

Not fond of talking and not sociable, at the age of schooling, due to the immaturity of everyone's age group, it is easier to mistakenly generate a sense of alienation. However, it is also easier to gain interpersonal experience, which is a great thing! When we lack such experience, it is easier to read a person's information and generalize a person's information from superficial phenomena. Such a simple understanding can lead to relatively large errors, but it also provides a great opportunity for growth and learning!

Can you see the difference between the phenomenon and the essence? It's a fascinating contrast!

Some people are extroverted, while others are introverted. Extroverts love to talk, and they're great at taking the lead and gaining the favor of others. This is because from childhood to adulthood, our experience has taught us that people who approach others are generally friendly. But there's more to it than that! After getting to know each other for a while, people will discover that those who don't like to talk can also be cute and kind-hearted. They just aren't good at expressing themselves, which is something they can work on!

However, if the neglected introvert does not receive attention and care, they will be very passive and lose the opportunity to explain themselves. But this does not mean that they themselves are inherently "bad" or "problematic" people. We must know that there is no good or bad in personality, and we must learn to accept ourselves and others, gain experience in social interactions, and learn how to get along with others.

[Look at differences with kindness and learn to reconcile]

She is unsociable and doesn't like to talk, but that doesn't mean she's antisocial! She just needs a little more time to open up. She always feels like she doesn't fit in, but that's just because she's so unique! People feel a sense of distance and arrogance because they don't know how to interact with her, but that's something she can work on.

Feeling inferior, plain in appearance, not good at studies, no special skills, and character flaws—but with the potential to become anything you want to be!

The great thing about classmates is that there's no conflict of interest. They're not out to get each other, and they're not gossiping behind each other's backs. They're just there to learn and grow together! So, there's no need to be timid. If there's a misunderstanding, it can be easily resolved with a little communication and understanding.

"If you have time, we should totally hang out or do homework together! I really hope you'll come."

Since we can't gain an advantage in language, we can express our inner feelings through our actions! There's no need to be wary of each other's differences or force ourselves to try to please others. If we can let go of things that bother us and get along with others by making the most of our strengths and avoiding our weaknesses, we'll be so much more likely to be understood!

[Embrace your parents' abilities and turn inwards for help]

It's totally natural for kids to turn to their parents, teachers, and friends for help because they're not quite independent yet and need a little guidance from the outside world. But what if our parents or those around us have limitations? Does that mean we have to give up on ourselves? Absolutely not!

We can also turn to "within" for help, that is, to help ourselves. There's no better time to grow than when we're facing challenges. When we're uncomfortable, it's our chance to adjust our approach, challenge ourselves, and learn new ways of thinking. We can change our concepts, challenge our mentality, and improve our ability to make friends. When we succeed, we'll see that people's potential abilities are endless!

[Every period of time is meaningful for growth and needs to be taken seriously]

The stage of learning may seem comfortable, but it can also encounter unpredictable difficulties and dilemmas. It may be family relationships, it may be relationships with classmates at school, or it may be discomfort in oneself. However, what cannot be denied is that learning is a necessity. And it's a necessity that will serve you well in your adult career! Although many diverse occupations have emerged nowadays, without a certain basic ability to learn, one will encounter trivial and tedious dilemmas in their adult career. So, the essence of studying hard now is to seize the opportunity to learn and acquire knowledge!

Keep up the great work!

Hello, question asker!

After reading your question, I really understand your dilemma. First, let me give you a warm hug.

The issue you're facing is:

1. He's not very sociable and tends to withdraw, doesn't like to talk much, doesn't get along with others, and gives people the sense that he's distant and has boundaries.

2. They have trouble expressing themselves naturally and truthfully, and they have a hard time getting along with others. They also have a strong inferiority complex and feel like they're inferior in every way.

3. He's not particularly attractive, doesn't study much, has no special skills, no friends, and has been avoiding things. He's very depressed, thinks too much, and has too much mental energy drain.

Let's look at the problem from a few different angles.

1. When the OP was young, his family wasn't well-off, and his parents only focused on their own material needs, neglecting the needs of the OP as an independent person. This, combined with his own inferiority complex, ordinary appearance, lack of special skills, and mediocre academic performance, made him sensitive and vulnerable, insecure, and full of thoughts.

2. They have trouble expressing themselves honestly and getting along with others. The main issue is that the subconscious mind blocks social interaction during communication, and it may be that the person doesn't know how to express themselves or express their own position and views. Also, the questioner isn't that bad, but the subconscious mind exaggerates their shortcomings, and they don't have a clear understanding of themselves.

3. The questioner may be subconsciously used to avoiding things, not knowing how to deal with other people, and unable to accept and face up to their own imperfections.

4. The questioner has a lot on their mind, thinks a lot, and is sensitive and vulnerable.

Here's a quick analysis and some solutions:

(1) Accept yourself for who you are, including your flaws. Being ordinary is nothing to be ashamed of.

(2) Know your strengths and weaknesses, and give yourself a break.

(3) Try to avoid the internal conflict that comes with thinking too much and just get on with things.

(4) Stop comparing yourself to others and focus on improving yourself. We all grow and develop at different rates, and flowers bloom in different ways, so don't rush things and be patient with yourself.

(5) When you're interacting with others, be open about your feelings, positive or negative, and stick to your principles and attitudes.

(6) Be the one to show kindness to others. You can share some delicious food with friends, prepare some gifts, or eat some favorite pastries. It's pretty much guaranteed that they'll appreciate it.

(7) Find a way to relieve stress that works for you, like singing, running, or listening to music.

I hope this helps. Best, [Name]

Dear Questioner, I hope this message finds you well. I am writing to express my concern about your recent statements. I believe it is important to address the following points: 1. You have expressed feelings of inadequacy and

I am pleased to have had the opportunity to connect with you on the Yi Xinli platform. I extend my sincere support and encouragement to the questioner.

The question you have posed for our assistance is as follows: "I am an introvert who dislikes talking and always feels like I am not part of the group, which leaves people with a sense of distance." I commend you for your self-awareness.

This presents additional avenues for potential change.

Based on the questioner's use of metaphorical language, I have carefully read the questioner's self-awareness and believe that the questioner already has a strong desire to explore and change himself. In this spirit of collaboration, I am also willing to share my thoughts and ideas for the questioner's reference only.

Please provide further context.

Let us first examine the particular circumstances outlined by the questioner and attempt to comprehend and evaluate them.

I am an introvert who is reticent to engage in conversation. I often perceive that I do not fit in, that I alienate others, and that I am arrogant. However, this is not how I truly feel. I find it challenging to relax and be myself in social situations. When I am with a group of people, I feel a lack of sense of self-existence. Additionally, I experience a strong sense of inferiority. I perceive myself to be lacking in social skills, appearance, academic performance, and special abilities. I also recognize character flaws and a lack of social support. I experience daily distress and a lack of motivation to attend school. I find it difficult to calm down and study. I feel compelled to suppress my true self daily. When I observe others engaging in carefree, happy conversations, it evokes a negative emotional response within me. I desire to be carefree and act on my own whims, yet I am unable to do so. My parents advise me to let go of these concerns and not dwell on them, but I am uncertain how to do so.

From the above narrative, the following aspects of the confusion faced by the questioner can be identified and summarized:

[1] The questioner is aware that he is unsociable, disinclined to engage in conversation, and maintains a reserved demeanor, which may give the impression of being aloof and arrogant. Is this a deliberate effort to establish boundaries with others, or is it a result of deeper personal issues? It's evident that the questioner is not content with this behavior, indicating a need for change.

Furthermore, are they unable to express their emotions, or are they accustomed to suppressing them?

[2] The questioner is aware that he has a pronounced inferiority complex. He is not particularly attractive, performs poorly in school, lacks specialized skills, and has character flaws. He is reluctant to attend school, has no friends, and is unable to express himself naturally and truthfully. He consistently feels that he is inferior in every way. Indeed, is the questioner constantly comparing himself to others?

Will he also be concerned about how his actions affect the opinions of others? Does he aspire to a state of happiness and freedom from constraints, similar to that experienced by others?

[3] Can the questioner identify his or her own shortcomings? Additionally, there is a desire to align with the expectations of others, yet there has been a consistent avoidance of this. In fact, there has been a repression of emotional expression. This results in significant mental fatigue.

[4] Parents may also encourage themselves to let go, but in reality, they are unable to do so. This may be due to a lack of experience or exposure to expressing emotions and feelings. Alternatively, it could be attributed to the influence of childhood experiences, particularly object relations, which have shaped our tendency to suppress emotions and adopt a submissive or dominated role.

In response to the actual situation of the questioner, we suggest the following course of action:

First, accept the current situation and identify the key issues.

1. The questioner perceives themselves as having a withdrawn personality, a dislike of talking, and an inability to fit in with others. They do not want this situation and believe it is not their fault. Rather, they believe it is a result of their experiences and upbringing.

2. The only way to demonstrate that we have begun to make changes is to accept our past, personality, and traits, including both our strengths and our weaknesses.

3. Accept the limitations of your parents' lives. It is possible that they were taught this way when they were growing up, which may have influenced their own emotional expression. This could have been passed on to you, which has shaped your current self-perception. Even if you are already aware of this, it is important to find a way that suits you to gradually become the real you.

Secondly, it is important to acknowledge any temporary challenges, such as a perceived lack of confidence or a sense of distance from others, and to work towards transforming these into a more positive and desired state.

1. Going forward, it is important to "verify" your inner awareness. As the questioner has noted, there may be a discrepancy between your outward appearance and your inner feelings. It is essential to consistently align your actions with your true inner feelings and gradually learn to express your inner feelings and thoughts/opinions.

2. In fact, most people are "plain looking." First of all, it is important to learn to accept and acknowledge our own imperfections rather than "labeling" ourselves. We should focus on being ourselves seriously, especially when interacting with others. It is essential to express yourself honestly and treat others and yourself kindly.

3. To transition from "low self-esteem" to "self-confidence," it is essential to start with small, achievable steps. For instance, you can identify three or more activities that will bring you "small but real happiness" and incorporate them into your daily routine. Over time, as you become more adept at accomplishing these tasks independently, you will notice a boost in your self-confidence.

4. Compare yourself with your previous performance and acknowledge your progress and changes. This is an effective way to maintain a positive mindset while accepting imperfections and minor mistakes.

5. It is important to learn to release your emotions, including learning to communicate and express yourself authentically with your parents. When you feel "repressed," it is essential to identify an appropriate method of release, such as talking to a trusted friend, going for a walk, singing, exercising, etc.

6. Should the aforementioned methods prove ineffective, it may be beneficial to seek the guidance of a professional psychological teacher. This could help to identify and address the various confusions and myths that may impede growth and adaptation to the social environment, thereby facilitating more rapid and seamless personal development.

The above represents my understanding and response to the questioner's confusion. It is my hope that this will provide the questioner with positive and helpful inspiration and assistance, and that they will ultimately become their true selves.

I am a person of one heart, sunshine, the world, and I love you. Best regards, [Name]

Hello, my name is Yaya Tree, and I would be honored to accompany you as you navigate your current challenges.

I sense that you may be experiencing feelings of loneliness and a desire to connect with others, even though you may feel hesitant or unsure of how to do so. It's as if there's an emotional barrier preventing you from fully expressing yourself, leading you to appear detached or aloof in order to maintain distance from others. This isolation, however, might be a form of self-protection, a defensive stance you've adopted due to difficulties integrating into the social group.

I believe that, at your core, you are longing for relationships. You long to connect with others, to build relationships, to have partners to talk to and keep you company, don't you?

From your writing, I can see that you may be struggling with some self-esteem issues and a lack of positive self-perception. It seems that your upbringing may not have provided you with a nurturing and accepting environment. During your childhood, you may have faced a lack of praise and affirmation from your parents and those around you, which could have led to feelings of dissatisfaction, criticism, and a sense of being misunderstood. This could have resulted in a deep inner longing for warmer, more loving interactions. As you grew up, you may have developed a fear of interacting with others, possibly due to past experiences that left you feeling isolated and alone. This could have led to feelings of low self-esteem, sensitivity, inferiority, and loneliness.

If you find yourself feeling inferior, sensitive, or with low self-esteem, it can be challenging to present and express yourself naturally and confidently. When we're consumed by self-doubt and internal conflict, it can leave us with limited energy and attention for socializing. This can contribute to a sense of being invisible in a crowd and difficulty finding genuine happiness.

I believe that the most significant breakthrough in this area is the realization that the current state of character is the result of long-term relationship patterns developed during the growth process. To address these patterns, it is essential to engage in continuous self-growth and repair. If you have the financial means, it may be beneficial to seek the guidance of a qualified psychological counselor. These professionals can provide healing and growth support, utilizing their expertise to help you understand past trauma and the influences that shaped your character. When you gain insight into your own challenges, you are also embarking on a journey of constant growth and transformation. This process may require time and may span many years. It is important to be patient with yourself as you navigate this journey.

I would like to suggest a few books that I have found helpful in my own journey of self-growth. I hope that you will find them useful as well.

Wu Zhihong: "Why does family hurt?"; "Be grateful for your imperfections"; "Why do you always get hurt?"

Cong Feicong: "The Power of Self-Growth," "Nurturing the Child Within You," "Allow Yourself," and "I'm Really Great."

If you are experiencing emotional or relationship difficulties, you may benefit from one-on-one guidance and support. I am available to offer a listening ear and a respectful, understanding approach to help you gain insight and clarity. With respect and care, Ee-Yaa Tree

Good day, classmate. I perceive your current state of confusion, and I offer you a gesture of comfort.

The current difficulties you are experiencing are likely the result of interpersonal issues. I offer you my support and encouragement once more.

It seems unlikely that you have been an introvert and a quiet person since childhood.

It is more probable that you have experienced hurtful interactions in interpersonal relationships during your developmental period.

Subsequently, you became unsociable and withdrawn, and you lost your desire to engage in conversation. Is this an accurate representation of your behavior?

The absence of physical attractiveness and academic success does not necessarily preclude the existence of special skills.

In December 2020, I commenced independent study in psychology.

It is often observed by those who know me that during the year and a half I spent studying psychology on my own, I became markedly more scholarly in my temperament.

Therefore, it is imperative not to abandon one's studies and to recognize the potential for unique abilities and strengths.

It is possible that further reading on the subject of psychology outside of the classroom will reveal that you possess a number of strengths, which you have not yet identified.

In the event that one has experienced psychological trauma in the past, which has resulted in the development of one's current personality, it is recommended that one seek the assistance of a professional counselor.

A counselor is able to address all past psychological trauma in the context of interpersonal relationships.

Furthermore, the counselor is better equipped to adopt a third-party perspective, maintain a non-judgmental outlook, and demonstrate objectivity. This enables them to provide more pertinent, useful, and constructive advice.

It is my sincere hope that you will be able to find an effective solution to the problem you are facing as soon as possible.

At this juncture, I am unable to offer any further insight.

It is my sincere hope that the above responses are both helpful and inspiring to you. I am the answer. I study assiduously each and every day.

At Yixinli, we extend our warmest regards to you and the entire world. Wishing you the best!