Is it my fault that my mother always mocks and ridicules me?

Hello, questioner!

I am a listening dolphin, a psychological counselor.

?‍♂️From your description, it's clear you crave warm maternal love and positive care. This is what every child desires. Tell me, who did you spend your childhood with? Was it your grandmother?

Grandma or Mom?

You say your mother never contacted you. How old are you? What school do you go to?

He can take care of himself. You're currently living in a boarding school, right?

Every mother loves her child. However, there are people with an "avoidant attachment personality" who are unable to express their love. You need to carefully observe your mother.

People tend to seek out the good and avoid the bad. You are the weakest member of your family. Your mother is the second weakest. Her resentment may have been caused by other family members, but her fear has caused her to transfer it to you. Do you think your father loves your mother?

A mother who cannot control her emotions cannot express her love for her child.

I'm going to share my experience with you. I'm sure you'll find it inspiring.

My mother is mentally ill. When she is not having a psychotic episode, she is normal and knows how to love her children.

When he has a fit, he just shuts himself away in his own world. No matter what you say, he raises his hand and hits you. Even if you say, "Mommy, dinner's ready," he slaps you.

I didn't understand my mother when I was young either.

If your mother has been on the verge of emotional collapse for a long time, she can't be gentle with you.

He thinks of his miserable childhood and growing up when he sees your comfortable life. He'll say something bitter if he can.

You said you don't call your mother, and she never contacts you. So when you call her, do you tell her you miss her and love her?

"

From your description, it's clear you're unfamiliar and fearful of your mother. Is that right? You said your mother hasn't taught you anything. Does that mean you haven't grown up with her?

I'd like to know how old you were when you returned to your mother.

If there is no emotional connection from childhood, you will feel strange towards your mother, and she will feel strange towards you.

You have to be able to accept it if your mother envies your children as a stranger.

In your life, you've surely observed every family member. It's clear that Dad loves Mom.

If your mother has never experienced love, how will she express it? Tell her what kind of love you want.

Think about it. Does your favorite food appear on the table every time you go home? That silent love needs to be appreciated with the heart. You understand, don't you?

Your mother may not be the best at expressing her love, or she may have high expectations for you that you simply cannot meet. She may even speak to you coldly for your own good and a better future. This is why parents need to use a lot of different approaches with their children—so they can grow and thrive. The indifference your parents show you is considered mild. It is only because she is your mother that you have emotional expectations for her, which is why the hurt is more profound. If she were a stranger, what would you do? If you were in adolescence and your mother was healthy, you could treat her like a stranger, and she would see that you have grown up and give you the corresponding respect.

Yi Xinli World and I Love You.

Dear Sir/Madam, Thank you for your question. My name is ZQ and I am a heart exploration coach from the Yixinli platform. It is indeed the case that we will encounter mothers like this in our lives. It is possible that she has not read many books and that her personality may not be particularly good. There may also be a bit of pathology in her. Best regards, ZQ

In other words, when she perceives your distress, she experiences positive affect. When she makes statements that evoke strong negative emotions in you, she also reports positive affect. It appears that she seeks to interact with you and be impressed by you, as if she is only satisfied when she sees you react negatively to her statements. This is a common phenomenon among certain individuals.

It would appear that she is not your benefactor, but rather your adversary. She will be gratified whenever she sees you unhappy. It is possible that they have never received a good education, and it is also possible that they have never received love from others.

It is possible that they also wish to cause others and their descendants to experience the same pain that they once endured. This may also be related to your mother's upbringing, as she may not have received the same level of affectionate care during her own childhood.

It is evident that your mother is unable to express the kind of love that you deserve. This manifests as sarcasm and blame, as well as a tendency to vent her negative emotions on you. It is possible that this is a way of rebelling against the unfairness of fate.

She feels that your current resources are superior to what he has received, which causes her resentment. He may believe that if he had what you have, he could have lived a better life. However, time cannot be reversed. She is your mother, and you are her daughter. There is no way for him to return to the past.

The resentment that accumulates in the heart will gradually deplete her energy, making it challenging for her to fulfill her role as a mother. It is essential to recognize that despite individual growth experiences and distinct personalities,

It is also possible to take the initiative to express your feelings to your mother. How do you feel when she talks about you in this way? If there is still a trace of that hidden sense of fairness and justice in her heart, she may perhaps rein herself in. At the same time, it is important to realize that we cannot change other people.

It is advisable to adjust one's mentality, face the unreasonable things people say, and let them go in and out of one's left and right ears. This will help to maintain a balanced state of mind and filter outside information effectively. If the situation is untenable, it may be necessary to limit contact with the individual in question. Good luck!

Please advise.

Hello, questioner! I'm Jia Ao, the Heart Exploration coach. I'm not looking for anything in particular.

I read your post and I can see you have some issues with your mother. It seems like she has a tendency to be critical of you, whether it's about your height or your appearance. It's like she's always looking for something to complain about. She doesn't call you, and you don't call her. Video calls are even more awkward. It seems like she vents all her negative emotions on you. She doesn't give you any guidance or emotional value, but always thinks you are lazy and useless. You simply can't understand why she is always so resentful. You feel helpless and hopeless.

From what you've told me, it seems like your mother's relationship with you is really quite oppressive. She's always accusing and picking on you, but she doesn't teach you or care about you. You don't feel any motherly love from her, but you can't understand her way of thinking, and you don't understand why she resents you so much. Is there any way to resolve the conflict between you and your mother?

Help you analyze and sort things out:

1. Be open and honest in your communication.

From what you've said, I can see you're worried and feel like you're stuck. It seems like you don't accept your mother's attitude towards you and don't understand her. If you want to solve this, I suggest you tell your mother you don't like her way and that you need to have honest communication. Be clear that you don't want to be hurt. Let her know how her behavior is affecting you, and at the same time, share your thoughts. This might help her express her expectations or comments on her children in a more positive way. She might be more encouraging, less critical, and give you more positive feedback. See how she reacts.

2. Adjust your mindset to a more positive one.

Of course, you should communicate well with your mother, try to stay calm, and try not to be influenced by emotions. When faced with your parents' sarcasm, try to stay calm and not let bad emotions get the better of you. No matter what your parents say, you should believe in your own value and abilities, and believe that you can do better. Your family's denial will not negate everything you have done. Just keep trying.

3. Keep building your self-confidence.

It's tough to take sarcasm from parents. It's not realistic to think you won't be affected. And it's not just parents. Similar situations can happen at work and in life. You need to learn to deal with it in a positive way. Build your self-confidence through your own efforts and constantly enhance your abilities and competitiveness. So, why be afraid of the outside world's sarcasm?

4. Build up your inner strength

Learn to see yourself in the right light and don't live in the evaluation of others. When your heart becomes stronger, the sarcasm of others will be less likely to hurt you. Learn more and make more good friends. If you don't get recognition and encouragement from your parents, you may find someone who really appreciates you among your friends. Be strong inside, and it will be hard to knock you down. Just do what you want to do.

I hope my answer helps. If you want to talk more, you can find me on my personal website. Just click on the Heart Exploration service and send me a message. Thanks, and have a great day!

Hello, questioner. It seems that the way and attitude your mother treats you may lead you to question whether it is truly your fault.

It would be really helpful for you if you could be hugged. It seems like you feel quite helpless and aggrieved when dealing with your mother. I can see that even though your mother treats you this way, you are still trying your best, hoping that she will see your care and efforts for her. I will try to express my understanding.

Your mother's behavior may have made you feel accused and led you to question whether you truly resemble her description of you. This suggests that you've started to think for yourself and are less influenced by her single behavior. You may now face problems with courage and seek answers.

This is an excellent opportunity for self-reflection. You might consider asking yourself the following questions: Is this true?

If this is true, I wonder what I might think. What kind of impact might it have on me?

If this is not the case, how might I think about it differently and what kind of impact might it have on me?

In the family system, parents may unconsciously express or vent their emotions on their children. This behavior may be related to the parents' own family of origin and their life circumstances as children, and may not directly relate to the child's current behavior and situation. On the other hand, parents may easily see their children as a reflection of themselves, and may show their children a side of themselves that they normally don't show in public.

Given the sense of safety and relaxation she feels in the presence of her child, she may unintentionally reveal a more vulnerable side of herself.

If you don't notice it, the child may come to believe that they are the cause of their mother's behaviour, which could lead to feelings of resentment. Despite their best efforts to connect with their mother, they may feel that their efforts are not being acknowledged. This could result in an emotional response from their mother, which might not be helpful for the relationship. It's important to recognise that these behaviours are often a manifestation of unresolved emotions.

If I might make a few suggestions, I think it would be helpful to work on the following aspects.

1. I will be mindful of the differences between my own thoughts and feelings and those of my mother, including any negative comments or accusations she may make.

Secondly, it would be beneficial to learn how to care for your emotions, try to describe the feelings associated with them, and find ways to relieve the stress and discomfort caused by emotions.

3. It might be helpful to try expressing your thoughts and feelings in front of your mother.

It might be helpful to look for supportive resources, such as having a few close friends to talk to.

I believe that love is in the heart. I wish you well.

Hopefully, my answer will be helpful to you in some way.

It's not your fault, though. Her emotions and comments are just a reflection of her own inner feelings, which show that she's not happy with herself and has projected these repressed parts onto you. This is also influenced by her own growth experience. Her parenting style towards you is largely a continuation of the way her parents treated her because she doesn't know that there are other ways. So, this isn't resentment; it's just her limitation. And if you want to break this pattern, there are things you can do.

You don't have to agree with everything she says about you. Even though she's your mother, her opinions can't define you. You need to become the person you want to be, not the person she wants you to be, because you are you, an independent person.

I used to have the same worries as you because my parents also always had a lot of negative comments about me, which made me feel very uncomfortable. It wasn't until later that I realized that in fact, they were both ordinary people with their own limitations. They couldn't always give me unconditional acceptance and recognition because they themselves were not completely accepting and recognizing of themselves. They would project their dissatisfaction with themselves onto me and demand that I be perfect and outstanding enough to meet their expectations. They felt that was the only way I could live a happy and fulfilling life.

But is that really the case?

They're not me, and they don't know what I want. Their comments are just from their point of view, and they think that's good, but it's not necessarily so for me. For example, when my parents think I should have my own business, I chose to return to the family. I enjoy learning and growing as a mother, and I also enjoy taking care of the family while working freely. They'll think this is not capable and even think that I have wasted my education.

Yes, from their perspective, they want me to have a stable job and a happy family. But it's tough for me to balance the two. I used to really hope they could understand, and they have become more understanding over the past two years (because I have been expressing and communicating with them). But if we always try to become what they expect, it will be very annoying. Because our needs and their needs often conflict, and we cannot fully satisfy their needs.

When I stopped letting their judgments affect me, I started defining my own life. I took care of myself well enough to be happy, do the work I loved, and create a warm and happy atmosphere for my family. When I was satisfied with myself, I didn't care what they thought of me anymore. At this time, they didn't have many demands on me. In fact, they just wanted me to be happy, even if it wasn't in the way they expected. As long as I was happy, they would be relieved.

2. Try to understand why she is like this and realize that it is actually very difficult for her to want to change. Accepting her will help you feel more relaxed without having to take on her issues.

As I said earlier, she's repeating what she learned from her parents. She doesn't know any different. She'll think she's doing the right thing because that's what she was taught. It's automatic for her, so she won't even realize she's doing it. If she doesn't know any better, she'll never change.

It's important to understand that changing her is difficult. If she isn't willing to change herself, it's challenging for others to change her. However, you can try to understand her, understand why she is like this, and understand that she treats you this way not because you are bad, but because this is the only way she knows how to interact with her child. You can also try to accept her and see that she is just like this, fond of sarcasm. This sarcasm doesn't mean she rejects you, but that she's connected with you in a way that feels comfortable to her because she was connected with her parents in this way before, and now, she is also connected with you in this way. Of course, this isn't the best way, but she really doesn't know any other way for now.

If you can accept her, the next time she displays this pattern, you won't be so resentful. You'll be more calm and at peace because you know and acknowledge that this is just how she is and that her actions and words don't mean that I'm bad. You also need to realize that behind her emotions is the fact that her own needs are not being met. She needs to take responsibility for and grow out of her emotions and her need to grow. You don't need to take responsibility for this, and you can't take responsibility for it, so you'll feel much more relaxed.

3. You can also try to express your true feelings and needs, and listen to her heart. This will help your relationship grow.

So, how do you want your mother to treat you? You can also take the initiative to express your feelings and needs. You don't have to wait for her to change first.

Learning about and practicing non-violent communication could really change the way you communicate with each other.

The idea behind non-violent communication is that we should be open with each other about how we feel, what we need, and what we want. We should do this without judging or accusing, and we should also listen to each other.

You and your colleague are on equal footing and respect each other. You can eventually come to a mutually agreed solution that balances the problem. In the process, you will also gain a better understanding and knowledge of each other, which will help your relationship.

For instance, if she accuses you of being lazy and useless without any reason, you can say, "Mom, when you say I'm lazy and useless, I feel so wronged, so sad, and so helpless. I especially need your understanding and support, as well as your respect and care. Can you teach me specifically how to develop the good habit of being diligent? I also want to become a hardworking and useful person, and I need your help." Then, listen to what she has to say. Perhaps she wasn't really accusing you when she said that, but was just worried that you won't be able to take care of yourself in the future. In that case, you can discuss how to improve your ability to live independently, and how you can learn to do things with her guidance and your cooperation.

You can find more details on this in the above. Best wishes!

Hello, question asker! I'm Jiang 61.

First of all, thank you for trusting us enough to tell us your problem and get an answer. You're asking if it's your fault that your mother is always sarcastic to you.

"After reading your description, I have a few thoughts I'd like to run by you."

1. Introduction

1⃣️, sarcasm

You asked, "Why is it that my mother is always sarcastic with me and blames me for everything?"

From what you've told me, I can see why you have such a negative view of your mother. She seems to be a very critical person who is quick to point out your mistakes and blame you for them.

2⃣️, details

You said, "It doesn't matter if you're taller than the people around you or not good-looking enough. She won't call you back on her own initiative if you don't call her back, and she feels even more awkward on video calls. She resents other people's complaints, but she can vent all her emotions on you. She has received no teaching, but she thinks you're lazy and useless. She feels that it is already a blessing that you get to study and not be pressured by life early."

? Picky

Your mother is a critical person who finds fault with everything from your height and appearance to your telephone manner. She likes to take out her emotions on you, but doesn't like it when you tell her how you feel. She criticizes you for being lazy and says you should be grateful that she let you go to school.

Your mother is going through a rough patch mentally.

Your mother likes to blame you because she has low self-esteem. She projects her own dissatisfaction onto you, and it's her mentality that determines this.

2. Question

You ask, "What kind of resentment does my mother have for me?"

It's not that your mother has any resentment towards you. It's that she's always dissatisfied with herself and vents her dissatisfaction through you.

2. Analysis

1. Projection effect

Projection effect

Projection is when we attribute our own characteristics to others. It's a cognitive disorder where we assume that if we have a certain characteristic, others must have it too. We project our feelings, will, and characteristics onto others and impose them on them.

She tends to complain.

It seems like your mother often teases you, not because you're not doing well, but because she's unhappy with herself and projects that onto you. For instance, if she's not tall, she might think you're not tall either and feel inferior. She doesn't like her own image and complains that you're too short, but it's really about her feeling short.

2⃣️, a personality that makes

A mother who likes to pick on you and mock you. It's clear she's a blaming type with a melancholic personality.

The blaming type

A blaming type often ignores others, is used to attacking, criticizing, and blaming others, and puts the blame on others. "It's all your fault," "What's wrong with you?" are their catchphrases.

In terms of their inner experiences, people who are accusatory are usually driven by feelings of loneliness and failure. However, they tend to isolate themselves from others in order to maintain their authority. Consequently, your mother often complains and blames you in life, boosting her self-esteem and image through accusations and complaints.

A person with a melancholic personality

Here are some key traits of a melancholic personality:

People with this personality type are thoughtful, highly sensitive, idealistic, and in pursuit of truth, goodness, and beauty.

On the plus side, you're sensitive, loyal, talented, and insightful.

On the downside, you might come across as stubborn, indecisive, self-centered, pessimistic, and passive.

Perfectionists are hard on themselves and others, but outsiders don't know that they're hard on themselves. They also like to dwell on things, are self-centered, and want others to revolve around them. So, it can be seen that your mother's attitude towards you is also determined by her personality.

3⃣, the influence of the original family

The original family

The term "original family" refers to the family you were born and raised in. The atmosphere in this family, its traditions and customs, the role models for children in the family, and the interactions between family members all influence how children will behave in their new family later in life.

The term "original family" refers to the family formed when a person reaches adulthood. Our personalities, hobbies, and habits are often shaped by the environment of the original family (family atmosphere, parenting style, etc.). Even our future interactions and communication patterns in love and marriage may reflect those of our original family.

The way parents act and think is often influenced by their own parents, and this is called intergenerational transmission.

Intergenerational transmission is when the parent generation passes on various characteristics to their children. These include not only physical and mental characteristics, but also social characteristics and ways of behaving. We can see from the way the mother thinks and behaves that her attitude towards you is influenced by the way her parents think and live. It's likely that her parents treated her in the same way.

So, intergenerational transmission can pass on not only good physical and mental characteristics and social characteristics, but also some bad ones.

3. What to do

1⃣️, Get to know your mother

Re-understanding our Mothers

We should get to know our mother again—through her personality, way of thinking, way of acting, and upbringing—to understand the reasons for her attitude towards us and to understand how she feels.

It's time to let go.

Because of her upbringing and personality, my mother lacks self-confidence and a sense of security. She tries to gain power and self-confidence by demanding and criticizing others. It's not realistic to expect her to change quickly. We can only let go of our expectations and understand her so that we can feel at ease.

2⃣️, Build confidence

Set up a good language environment.

Mommy is a perfectionist and strives for perfection in everything. We can see that the perfectionist type is worried that others will look down on them and is not confident in their abilities. That is why they often criticize you, in order to raise themselves up and make you look up to them.

We get where she's coming from and make sure the language environment is positive. We communicate with her using language that is free of judgment, accusation, and denigration.

It helps her feel relaxed when she's communicating.

It also helps to build self-confidence.

If a mother needs help to feel confident, we can focus more on her strengths, affirm and praise her often. This shows her you see her abilities, respect her, and helps her feel confident in herself. In return, she'll praise you too.

3⃣️, Set up some good communication channels.

We also focus on developing good communication skills and language. Effective communication is a great way to interact with people.

Effective communication

Communication is basically the exchange of information. It's the whole process of sharing a message with someone and hoping they'll respond. If that happens, it's effective communication.

Verbal and non-verbal messages both play a part in communication, but non-verbal is usually more important. Effective communication is really important when it comes to family relationships and complex social relationships.

Here are the steps to effective communication:

There are four steps to effective communication:

Step 1: Talk about your feelings, not your emotions.

Step 2: State what you want, not what you don't want. Let them know you're angry, not that you're going to express your anger.

Step 3: State your needs, not your complaints. Don't let the other person guess what you want.

Step 4: Instead of complaining about where you are, express the direction you want to go. Focus on the end result, not on the event itself.

It's only natural that there will be times when you and your mother don't see eye to eye. When this happens, it's important to remember that you don't have to suppress your emotions. Instead, use effective communication methods to share your thoughts, feelings, expectations, and the final desired direction with her. Your mother might not be able to accept your approach at first, but if you keep at it, she'll eventually understand that this method of communication is the most comfortable for you and will slowly accept it.

Questioner, a person's living habits are linked to their upbringing, personality, and way of thinking. It takes more than a day to change. We should try to understand her more, encourage her, and influence her with our actions. I believe she can ultimately change.

I wish the original poster all the best for the future!

Hello, question asker!

First, I want to give the original poster a big hug and comfort her in her distress! From your description, I can tell that you feel strongly about being treated with sarcasm by your mother. It seems that you especially cannot understand why your mother would treat you this way, and you do not understand why your mother seems to have such a deep grudge against you.

You seem confused. Let's discuss the reasons behind your mother's sarcasm.

First, you must believe in yourself and be firm in your self-judgment. It is not all your fault. Her sarcasm is unreasonable, and her comments and criticisms are not objective. Listen to them, and if there is something to be improved, then do it; if not, then just let it go. Don't let it bother you too much because no one is perfect. Your mother is human and makes mistakes, and this is her first time being a mother. You can choose not to understand or forgive, or you can choose to accept that we all make mistakes. Choose to express your feelings and thoughts effectively and reduce the negative emotions that attack you internally.

Nobody's perfect, and mothers make mistakes too. Your mother is a first-time mother, and you may not understand or forgive her. You can choose to accept that we all make mistakes, express your feelings and thoughts effectively, and reduce negative emotions and self-attack.

Second, your mother's words and actions towards you are a projection of her inner needs. These projections stem from her past experiences.

Your mother has likely experienced ridicule, accusations, and criticism from others, which has shaped her into the person she is today. It's possible that she grew up in a similar environment, where her parents either didn't reach out to her or had negative experiences with her family. This could have led to her feeling oppressed and resistant.

She likely didn't receive good teaching or resources from her parents either. She may have regretted and resented not having studied, which is why she lives like this, under the pressure of life. She is not satisfied with your performance and resents you for not having made good use of these conditions. She also envies the environment in which you grew up. She envies the time when you were alive and had the opportunity to study, and she envies the fact that you did not have to suffer the pressure of life at an early age.

These feelings are the result of unmet psychological needs that she is unable to cope with. Consequently, even though she may have experienced similar situations herself, she is unable to provide support to others.

As the saying goes in psychology, she cannot give what she does not have herself. This means she cannot recognize her true self, nor can she play the role of the mother you imagine she should be. She still needs time to grow, and you, who are still growing, are full of grievances and confusion.

She may not know how to handle her negative emotions and grievances, which makes her feel powerless. This is why she resents others for dumping their grievances on her and throwing difficult problems at her. She is also powerless about her own grievances. She vents her emotions on you, which is an immature display. This hurts you and makes you feel aggrieved. I give you a hug again.

Finally, give yourself a big hug and hug the wrongs you have suffered. Believe in yourself. It is not your fault. Try to communicate with your parents about your grievances, your hurt, your thoughts, etc. If they can understand the problem, give them time to mature.

You can choose not to forgive or understand for the time being, but don't forget to give yourself a big hug for all the grievances that have gone unnoticed! The most important thing in growing up is to learn how to make yourself happy no matter what happens.

These are my feelings and thoughts. I hope they help. I wish you less grievances and all the best!

Good day.

I feel it's important to say that sarcasm and emotional outbursts are not the best way to raise a family. Such behavior may have a negative impact on your child's self-esteem and self-confidence, and could even lead to long-term psychological problems.

There could be a number of reasons for your mother's behavior, such as

It is possible that she may be attempting to exert control over your behavior and thoughts by criticizing and belittling you, in order to maintain her authority and status.

It's possible that she may be experiencing her own stress and anxiety, which could be affecting her behavior towards you.

It is possible that she is not aware of the negative impact her behavior is having on you, or that she has not yet found a way to educate you that is more effective.

If you feel that your mother's attitude towards you has reached a point that is difficult for you to cope with, you may wish to consider the following measures:

Communication: It might be helpful to talk to your mother about your feelings in an open and honest manner, so that she understands the impact her behavior has on you. It might be beneficial to be careful about the tone and manner, and to avoid getting emotional in the midst of an argument.

It might be helpful to seek support from a professional counselor or family therapist if you feel your emotions need support. They can help you deal with emotional problems and provide better coping strategies.

It is important to try to protect yourself from the negative effects of your mother's emotions. It is also helpful to maintain your independence and self-confidence. You may find it beneficial to develop your own interests and hobbies, and to spend more time with positive people, as this can help to improve your mental health.

It is important to remember that your mother's negative emotions do not define your value. You are an independent individual with your own value and meaning.

It might be helpful to consider that discovering your strengths and talents, and nurturing your self-esteem and self-confidence, could be key to getting out of this rut.

Dear questioner, It's sad to see your mother treat you this way. But don't worry, let's work on this together.

Your mother's behavior doesn't make you bad. Everyone has different emotions and ways of expressing them. Maybe she's just expressing her expectations and care for you.

This doesn't mean her behavior is right, but we can try to understand her.

She vents on you because she has setbacks or dissatisfaction and needs to release stress. You may become her outlet.

It doesn't mean she doesn't love you or care about you. She just may not know how to deal with her emotions.

Your mother may want you to be more independent and self-reliant. She may think that by criticizing and blaming you, she can motivate you to study harder and grow up.

She probably wants you to become better, even if it makes you feel uncomfortable or stressed.

Your mother may not call you or listen to your complaints because she has emotional problems or is a certain type of person. Some people don't like to hear others complain.

It doesn't mean she doesn't care about you. She just expresses herself differently.

Let's improve your relationship with your mother.

First, talk to your mother. Tell her how you feel and that you want her to treat you better.

Try to understand her emotions and stress and communicate with her respectfully.

You can also get help from a family counselor or psychologist. They can give you advice and techniques to help you and your mother improve your relationship.

Take care of your emotions. Don't let your mother's emotions affect you.

Believe in yourself and face life's challenges with courage. Take care of yourself and maintain a healthy lifestyle.

You deserve to be loved and respected. Stay positive and take action.

You can find a way to get along better with your mother. I wish you the best!

Hello! I'm happy to answer your questions and hope my suggestions help.

Our parent-child relationship needs a balance through constant adjustment and friction.

This process starts when we become independent and realize our communication with our parents is uncomfortable.

This process takes time and is complicated. We need to be prepared.

We need to be self-aware, understand the world, and believe in ourselves.

We also need to communicate and express our feelings. We can use physical aids if needed.

If the mother dislikes others complaining but does it herself, she may be a double standard. We can remind her in a video or audio that she is also like this.

Finally, we can give advice.

We can learn to communicate with our parents and seek help from a counselor.

We can also talk to our mothers about going to counseling together. We can also give mothers advice. For example, if our mothers want to talk to us about negative emotions, we can tell them to talk to professionals.

We can also encourage ourselves, find our own bright spots, and not be influenced by our mothers.

You can adjust your emotions and find a way to communicate with your mother.

I love you!

Hello!

Even though you only have a few short lines, I can see the psychological state in which you are suffering, which is injustice, especially injustice. But don't worry! I'm here to help.

You really want to understand why your mother is always sarcastic with you and always vents her emotions on you. I give you a big hug from afar, hoping you can feel a little warmth.

I can feel that there is a relatively big gap between you and your mother, and that you are somewhat distant. This gives you the opportunity to grow closer to her! Your mother may not be as close to you, and she doesn't seem to love you as much. This is something you can work on together!

She's not one to call you back if you don't call her first, and video calls are even more awkward! You address her as "mother," not "mom."

It feels like you have a strong sense of boundaries, not a close parent-child relationship, but more like two independent adults, which is great!

You say your mother is always sarcastic with you, whether it's your fault or not. Isn't that wild? Even if someone is just taller or better looking than you, it's enough to make her start being sarcastic with you.

Oh my goodness, I'm so curious! Does she hate the fact that you look like her, or like your father? Is she unhappy with her appearance, or is she unhappy with your father?

Guess what! Looks are inherited from previous generations, and it really isn't your fault. You're not at fault, but you're still being mocked, which is really upsetting.

Your mother took out her emotions on you, as if you were an outlet for her negative feelings. When people are weak, they tend to take it out on the weakest people, such as their children. But you are not weak! You are strong! And you can choose to be happy, no matter what your mother does.

Children are the most vulnerable members of the family. Using them as an emotional outlet can show that the mother is powerless against her family and her husband, and that she has to lash out at her children, especially the younger ones, to gain a temporary sense of superiority. This makes me feel really sorry for this mother, but it also shows me that she has the potential to grow and change.

Your mother doesn't teach you that you are lazy and useless. She feels that it is already a blessing that you don't have to suffer the hardships of life early on while studying.

I suspect that she suffered as a child, and that you did not have to suffer because of her hard work. This is her gift to you! A gift is a relationship between the superior and the inferior.

She feels that on the one hand she can endure hardship better than you, and on the other hand, she feels a sense of superiority when she scolds you. Compared to our previous generation, our generation is indeed much better off—and we have so much to be grateful for!

But we also have our own amazing experiences! Perhaps the struggles we've faced aren't like those of our previous generation, who endured poverty and hard labor without food or clothing. The struggles of studying and the struggles of relationships are unique to us and can only be known by ourselves.

I have a feeling that your mother's attitude towards you is not one of resentment, but of habitual suppression. You have already grown up, but she still treats you like a child.

When it comes to her children, she is also very envious of the fact that they can go to school. When she was a child, she could not afford to go to school, so she is thrilled that her children have this opportunity!

This kind of sarcasm from your mother hurts you, but she is not aware of it. She suffered far more than you when she was a child, and she thinks that her behavior means nothing to you and will not hurt you.

This is probably how a mother expresses closeness! Because others are not her children, she can't say, "You are her child, so she has the right to say whatever comes to mind, without any need for embellishment."

She also thinks that you just need to be tolerant. In fact, she doesn't understand that in terms of psychological tolerance and energy, her behavior is asking you to be her "mother," to understand and tolerate her completely, and accept her unconditionally.

So after all that, I've discovered that it's not because you're bad. There are more reasons with your mother. I can't understand the whole picture from a few lines of text, but I really don't feel that there is anything wrong with you when I read your words!

You are doing a great job of maintaining your relationship with your mother! You're not directly confronting her, and you're not distancing yourself from her. You're working hard to keep your relationship strong. Your mother has treated you this way, and she even thinks that it is your fault.

Perhaps this kind of mother-child relationship has already been learned from the mother's mother, and has become a habit. It is really difficult to change a habit that has been with you for most of your life — but it can be done!

The great news is that if it's a relationship problem, it can be solved! If you're ready to explore your relationship with your mother in more depth, you can find a psychodrama coach or a psychotherapist to help you go deeper and discover subconscious issues that you didn't even know you had.

The world loves you, and so do I! And you should love yourself too!

I must preface my remarks by stating that I do not possess a definitive answer to the questions you have posed. However, I am inclined to offer a few observations regarding the ideas that your text has prompted in me.

I am unaware of your current age and the precise timing of your mother's actions. Could you please elucidate your understanding of her conduct?

How did you cope with and process these emotions as you matured? Did you attempt to comprehend the experiences of your mother?

From the title and content of your post, it is evident that you are currently experiencing a conflictual situation. On the one hand, you express doubt regarding your own actions and their adequacy, given your mother's role as your primary caregiver. This leads to a sense of questioning your own worth and value. On the other hand, you also acknowledge the presence of your mother's resentment towards you.

Such a state of mind has an impact on a child's cognitive and emotional development, and to a certain extent, it affects future relationships and self-perception.

It is noteworthy that you are currently able to discern your circumstances and articulate your uncertainty. You are evidently striving to gain insight into your own identity and differentiate between your mother's sentiments and your own.

One must determine which of these two possibilities is true: that the mother is unable to deal with and vent her emotions on the child, or that the child is unable to cope with the situation.

This is a positive development, as it indicates a desire to gain self-knowledge and identity. However, the process of maturation is not straightforward. It necessitates growth and separation, as well as assuming responsibility for one's own development as an adult.

It is challenging, but ultimately rewarding. After navigating these steps, you will gain a unique perspective and thought process, free from the constraints of these two conflicting beliefs: Is it the mother's fault? Or is it my fault because I'm not good enough?

The acquisition of additional perspectives will facilitate the development of a more nuanced and three-dimensional self-concept and a broader range of options for navigating life's complexities.

We are grateful for your inquiry, as it provides us with a valuable opportunity to engage in collective reflection and collaboration.

You are not alone in your pursuit of growth and development.

Persevere.

Hello!

From your description, I can see you're angry and helpless. It's good you're here to vent and find a solution.

I feel for you. You love your mother and want her approval. She doesn't give it and puts you down, making you doubt her love.

Do you feel overwhelmed and powerless?

Many people feel this way nowadays. It's not our fault our parents didn't love and support us enough.

This behavior is related to his family of origin and his experiences.

Just like a child, we experience emotions. But I want to tell you that you can perceive this emotion and you are already on the path to change. We can't change other people.

We can change by adjusting ourselves and getting out of this emotional whirlpool.

All problems are resources. All confusion is good for growth. We can solve our own problems. Based on your description, I have some suggestions to help.

Don't label yourself.

From what you said, I can tell you feel powerless. This is because you need maternal love. Your mother's actions have made you doubt yourself. Don't label yourself negatively. You haven't done anything wrong. Your mother is just in a bad emotional state.

Words can hurt us. Don't punish yourself for other people's mistakes. Don't label yourself. Label the feeling of powerlessness inside you.

Tell yourself it's not your fault and you deserve better.

Second, learn to set boundaries.

Boundaries are a way of protecting ourselves from being hurt. Try to separate from your mother's negative emotions, set boundaries, and tell her you're hurt by her actions or lack of care.

The harm done to us by others is something we allow and approve of. It's like when your mother says something to you that hurts, but you don't say anything. It's not my fault. Your son said it's because I'm not good enough. So I hope you can build a better self. Don't take on other people's emotions.

Love yourself.

Parents are our support and foundation. But when parents don't see us or give us enough love and security,

We must learn to love ourselves. If we don't love ourselves, who will?

Let go of the labels you put on yourself. Look at yourself, at your true self. Hug and love yourself. Only when we learn to love ourselves can we give our love to others.

If we don't love ourselves, we can't give quality love.

And then, learn to release negative emotions.

You have a lot of emotions inside you, which makes you doubt yourself. But we can't keep piling up stress and anxiety.

It's unfair and exhausting. We need to adapt to our emotions. We can talk, exercise, or find other ways to vent. We can get out of uncomfortable emotions because we're not hurting others. Exercise produces pleasure and helps us.

Get help from others.

If we don't have the strength to adjust, we can seek help from a psychologist. They can help us understand our problems better, adjust our perceptions, heal our hearts, and give us the strength and courage to face them.

We can also read more psychology books and do things that make us more confident and powerful. This will help us.

I recommend a few helpful books.

"Mr. Toad Goes to the Psychologist," "The Family on the Hot Plate," "Why Families Hurt," "Psychological Nutrition," "The Courage to Be Disliked," and "Love Yourself Every Day."