Is the weakening of family affection a psychological illness?

Good day. I extend a 360-degree embrace.

I will now address the question in your title: Is a lack of family affection a psychological illness? In my professional opinion, a lack of family affection is not a psychological illness, but rather a matter of personal preference. Some individuals enjoy the companionship of a roaring fire, while others may prefer to maintain contact only when there is something of importance to discuss.

After reading your question, I reflected on my relationship with my sister. We do not communicate regularly, and we occasionally post on our family group chat. We engage in lighthearted teasing with one another. For instance, if someone praises their own child, the others will respond that in the future they cannot praise their own children, only other people's children.

My sister and I reside in close proximity to one another. However, I am disinclined to visit her residence, and she is similarly disinclined to visit mine. Typically, when I bring her food, we simply stand in the doorway and exchange it before going our separate ways.

It is commonly understood that individuals will assist when there is a need. However, it is often the case that people are preoccupied with their own lives and families. When they are busy, they may be so preoccupied that they lack the time to interact with others. This can result in unintentional harm to others.

To be frank, I would not engage in any actions that would harm others, but my own sisters did not hesitate to harm me. I was aware that they would not be angry and that they were people I could trust, so the formality of the situation was inconsequential. I also have such friends. We may not communicate for a year or two at a time, but when we do, we remain very close.

I would like to take this opportunity to inform you that there is no fixed pattern for how people interact with each other, or how siblings interact with each other. The key factor is comfort. This extends beyond your own comfort to include the comfort of others.

It is possible for relationships to be pursued in both directions or to be maintained from a distance.

From your inquiry, it is evident that your original family dynamic was less than optimal, and it did not provide sufficient love and intimacy during your upbringing.

I am unaware of your siblings' sentiments, but it is evident that you are sincerely striving to enhance the familial bond. Despite your best efforts, the outcomes have been notably unsatisfactory.

I am unaware of your familial status or the dynamics of your current marital situation. In response to your observation regarding the lack of familial affection, I advise you to strive for excellence and trust that the outcome will unfold as it should.

In short, perform your duties to the best of your abilities, do not anticipate immediate results, and allow time and circumstance to take their course.

As we can only change ourselves, we can influence others through our words and actions. However, changing other people is a much more challenging task.

It is therefore recommended that you pursue activities that align with your personal values and sense of purpose. While hard work may not always guarantee results, it can contribute to a sense of personal fulfillment.

It is also recommended that you manage your own family effectively. If you are married, your dedication and love are more easily seen and more likely to be rewarded among the people you spend time with every day.

You may also wish to consider speaking with a counselor.

I am often a Buddhist and a pessimist, but I also strive to be an occasionally positive and motivated counselor. I believe in the world and in you.

Good day, host.

The original poster is a perceptive and benevolent child with a high level of emotional sensitivity. I commend you for your compassion.

The original poster has conducted an objective analysis of their family of origin, refraining from making any subjective judgments that might negate their own family.

This demonstrates that you have already accepted your own family of origin and forgiven your parents, which has facilitated a positive change in the original poster's emotional state.

I would like to extend my congratulations once more for your efforts to improve this emotionally detached family.

It is important to recognise that individuals express their emotions in different ways. As a result, we must also accept parents who are emotionally detached.

It is also important to accept emotionally indifferent children, including ourselves.

To a certain extent, there are multiple contributing factors to emotional indifference.

Additionally, there are genetic and environmental factors at play.

From an early age, I have aspired to enhance my familial relationships. Despite my best efforts, the outcomes have consistently fallen short of my expectations.

What is the best way to maintain a relationship with a distant sibling?

Please advise if emotional indifference is considered a mental illness.

From my understanding of psychology, the optimal period for fostering affection has likely elapsed.

If you wish to maintain a distant relationship with a sibling, it is not necessary to demand that they

First, cultivate your own high energy levels, and then share your energy with others.

This can influence the emotional state of others. What is given between loved ones is not just money and material goods.

This can include positive reinforcement through words of encouragement and constructive feedback.

It is essential to respect every member of the family.

Do not anticipate excessive change from the other party, but perform your obligations as required.

It is not within my remit to influence their decision.

It is not our place to attempt to alter the behavior of others. Our sole responsibility is to modify our own actions.

Due to your lack of awareness during your formative years,

Failing to consider the feelings of others can easily result in conflict between siblings.

As an adult, you should take responsibility for any harm caused to others as a result of your actions when you were younger.

Show your parents and siblings the same consideration and respect you would show to anyone else, and you will find that any resentment you may have will dissipate naturally.

Only peace and joy remain, and the pain will dissipate.

I wish you a happy and prosperous life.

I am Warm June, and I extend my warmest regards to the world.

Hello!

Give a pat on the shoulder – it's okay! If you feel aggrieved and tired when you give your emotions unilaterally, you can also change the way you interact with your family. During this period, try to express your inner feelings and thoughts, and your heavy heart will also be relieved. The important thing is that we don't always suppress our feelings and thoughts, so that we can get along with others better – and it's so worth it!

Let's dive into the fascinating topic of emotional indifference and explore whether it can be classified as a mental illness.

If someone had asked me this question ten years ago, I would probably have hesitated because everyone seems to have a harmonious and normal family. But then I went to university and saw how different people interacted with their families! It made me think about this question in a whole new way. Is there only one kind of "loving" family relationship? Of course, this does not deny the existence of love in family relationships. It just means that people don't always know how to get along with each other.

For example, Classmate A is so independent that she ignores her parents' and brother's phone calls every time because she feels they don't have anything important to tell her (except for necessary financial transactions). Classmate B answers her mother's calls in a high-pitched voice, arguing with her, and then asks, "Why does she always do this to me?" Classmate C is so self-sufficient and has such a strong relationship with her family that she is indifferent to the dynamics with her classmates.

Whether it's student A, student B, or student C, there's so much we can learn by going deeper! It's clear that they've all accepted this kind of relationship, and it's fascinating to explore how it came to be. We can gain so much by identifying whether the love they receive is healthy or unhealthy, and whether they can get enough love and self-affirmation from it.

However, this does not mean that the child is mentally ill. It is likely that they are experiencing a psychological imbalance caused by not receiving the correct guidance of love.

Ready to learn how to establish a harmonious relationship with your family?

1. Communicate more and express emotions!

Any relationship is the result of two-way interaction, so no unilateral effort can change the outcome. But don't be discouraged or feel lost! Although we cannot absolutely control the outcome in a relationship, we can still have an influential role in the process. And the relationship of family affection always has the opportunity to change at any time. The reason for going against the grain is that we do not know what kind of impact our words and deeds have. When the "misunderstanding" is resolved, the hearts can be reunited!

2. Don't suppress yourself! When you're tired, talk to your family.

The questioner has a friend who acts like a tomboy every day, not expressing her inner feelings. At first, the questioner might say something like, "Have you been having a hard time lately?" to show concern. But the friend avoids answering. If this continues, we will assume that the other person does not have this emotional need. This is also a phenomenon of miscommunication in family relationships. When I feel that my family members do not take the initiative to contact and comfort me, I begin to close my heart. Over time, my family members will also think that I really do not have emotional needs, and they will simply ignore and downplay the importance of needing attention (because not everyone is as concerned about emotional needs as a psychological counselor).

3. Don't engage in internal conflict and blindly deny yourself — embrace the journey!

Embrace the journey! A life without any problems will not lead to any bitter thoughts. Only when we encounter obstacles that are difficult to overcome will we think more deeply. However, whenever we want to use our abilities to change the status quo, some performances that require us to appear strong and appropriate will limit our expression, cause internal friction, and make us start to doubt and question ourselves. But when we grow older, we will realize that there are no standard answers in the world. Why do we insist on becoming a perfect person and expect others to perform perfectly? When we learn to make trade-offs and see things clearly, we will no longer dwell on the regrets and losses of the past. Embrace the journey!

Best of luck, and keep up the amazing work!

Hello,

Host:

My name is Zeng Chen, and I'm a heart exploration coach. I've read your post carefully, and I can sense your feeling of powerlessness from the content.

I also want to commend you for being so open about your struggles and for actively seeking help on this platform. This will undoubtedly help you gain a deeper understanding of your family and yourself, which will in turn help you make necessary adjustments.

Next, I'll share my observations and thoughts from the post, which might help the poster to look at the issue from a different angle.

1. Being able to interact emotionally is a skill.

From what the original poster said, it seems like the father was a gambler, unemployed for many years, selfish and arrogant, and loved to mock and negate the children. The mother was pretty normal, but she never had a strong opinion of her own. Before she got married, her family had a supportive relationship with her father, brothers, and sisters. I could tell that my mother really loved us when I was very young, but she had some serious emotional control problems and was occasionally a bit violent, which also had a negative impact on us.

After reading all this, I'd like to suggest that you give yourself a comforting hug. It's been a tough road for you.

But at the same time, I also want to talk to you about the fact that you're now an adult. And in the process of growing up, we actually need a lot of support.

So, parents aren't perfect, but they still provide us with some resources.

I'd also like to talk to you, the original poster, about something else. It's important to remember that you can't give what you don't have. You mentioned that family affection is weak, which suggests that they don't have the ability to interact emotionally and don't know how to manage relationships and cultivate emotions within the family. It's crucial to remember that our parents are also ordinary people who grew up in an environment with even more scarce resources than we do.

Now, we might not be able to get 100%, so how can they get 100%?

2. Make an effort to gain a deeper understanding of your parents.

Of course, understanding isn't the same as agreeing, but it's more about exploring why they are the way they are.

In the post, the original poster mentioned your mother's upbringing, so you might want to find an opportunity to chat with your mother and learn more about her. Then perhaps you'll have a better understanding of your mother.

You also said your father is a gambler who loves to mock and deny his kids. As a psychology major, you should understand that this may be his own way of mocking and denying himself.

At first glance, these behaviors seem pretty bad. But I think for him, it's about avoiding the pain of growing up, and so on.

These are just a few ideas to think about.

The other person can also look at his upbringing, which might help them understand his father better. This kind of exploration is a way of understanding why our parents have become who they are today, so we can understand them better.

3. Try to let go of your expectations of your parents.

From what you've said, it seems like you're looking for a warmer family dynamic. But from a psychological standpoint, all relationships are a two-way street.

If you're always the one taking the initiative, it can be a drain on you. In this kind of environment, we can try to accept our parents for who they are and accept that they may not be able to interact emotionally in a way that's good for us.

This is because they didn't learn it when they were growing up. Accept that they can't give us emotional care because they don't have it, and try to let go of our expectations of them.

This could be more helpful for our emotions. If we accept them for who they really are, we can let go of our expectations and stop expecting them to satisfy us. Without this expectation, we may be less disappointed.

4. Learn to meet your own psychological needs.

The original poster said you really want better family relationships, but no matter what you do, the results are not good.

At this point, you might want to focus on yourself and take care of yourself first. After all, we can only be responsible for ourselves. You may not be able to change others unless they realize that they have some problems.

If it were that easy to change, I don't think they would still be the same after decades.

So, at this time, we can focus our attention back on ourselves and grow ourselves well. I wonder if you've noticed that your desire for better family relationships may come from unmet needs when you were a child.

This is something worth looking into and working through. How do you do that?

It means that we may need to accept that we are now adults and that we need to take responsibility for our lives, our needs, and our emotions. We can try to provide ourselves with the psychological nutrition we once lacked and nurture ourselves again.

I hope this is helpful and inspiring for you. If you have any questions, you can also click to find a coach for one-on-one communication and exploration.

If "thin relationships are a affection-a-psychological-illness-20148.html" target="_blank">psychological illness," what does that mean to the questioner? And if not, what does it mean?

"The relationship between family members is very weak. If I don't take the initiative to contact them, I guess I can stay out of contact for the rest of my life (except when I need their help). I value family affection more," the questioner now feels the need for family affection personally, or is it because he has learned some psychology knowledge and feels that this is quite important, so it needs to be paid attention to and repaired?

"Singing a solo for a long time really makes me doubt the meaning of my efforts." Perhaps the questioner thought that their efforts would warm their family, and that their family would reciprocate as you have, ultimately achieving a warm situation where family affection returns to the family.

But it has let you down. At the same time as you feel disappointed, you may even feel that your family is "hopeless."

I can imagine this must make you feel a little helpless, sad, and aggrieved.

Ever since I was a little kid, I've always wished my family relationships were better. But no matter what I do, the results haven't been great.

How can you keep your relationship with your siblings strong when it's already a bit on the weak side?

From what I know about psychology, it seems that the best time for building strong family relationships has passed.

It hasn't been easy for the questioner along the way. They've tried so hard, but haven't achieved the effect that would comfort you.

From what I can tell, this is more about the questioner's own needs, so it's understandable that she's encountered what she feels is "cold treatment" from the rest of the family. It's possible that the rest of the family hasn't realized this, or maybe they don't know how to express it. I'm sure they'll come around with a little more time and patience.

It's clear from your text that your family is full of love, but perhaps the affection isn't expressed as warmly as you'd like. It seems your father has some emotional challenges, and he can be a bit harsh with his kids. And your mother, bless her heart, has some emotional control issues and has been known to get a bit heated.

I'd love to know how old the original poster is! If they're an adult, they can absolutely create a warm family atmosphere in their own small family.

As for the original family, just do your best! Don't worry about what others do or don't do. It's all up to them.

It doesn't matter whether "emotional indifference is a mental illness." What matters is whether the person in it feels "trapped." If you feel trapped, you need to find a way to "get out." If you feel fine, you can just keep it that way.

I really hope my reply has been helpful! Wishing you all the best!

Hello, dear question asker!

I'm so happy to answer your question!

When children and siblings communicate, they often have concerns. After all, there may be friction between relatives, and the parents' generation may have some historical issues. Some things are embarrassing to talk about. In fact, at times like this, it's better to stand from the perspective of a friend rather than a loved one and talk about some lighthearted topics between friends, which will open each other's mouths. When everyone is relaxed, it's not too late to talk about family life.

If you haven't seen each other for a long time and don't know each other that well, don't worry! You can start chatting slowly about old memories, things you've experienced together, and the changes in each other. Then, you can move on to talk about life. This transition will help you feel more comfortable around each other and make it easier to chat.

It's also a good idea to make sure young people and siblings get along. When you're sitting with parents and elders, it's easy to talk about family and annoying topics that young people are bothered by. It can be difficult and awkward to communicate with them at these times. It's best to deal with the elders and wait until everyone is free to talk again.

But there are also times when cousins have such vastly different personalities that the conversation just dies after a few words. Some siblings are closed off, and it can be tough to get them to open up. At these times, there's no need to force a conversation. Just do your part and that's enough.

It's so important to understand that the relationship between cousins is very dependent on the relationship between the parents. It's a continuation of the relationship between the older generations. When family members are not getting along, it can make the relationship between cousins feel really awkward. It's also difficult to achieve a harmonious relationship. Events such as the Chinese New Year are about the family relationships of the parents' generation and the connections between the parents' generation. The quality of the relationship between cousins has no direct impact on this. Even if you don't get along well, you still have to put on a good face. Even if you get along well, when the relationship between relatives becomes awkward, it can be difficult for the siblings to continue the relationship easily.

So, to make sure you have long-lasting relationships, it's a great idea to make friends with your cousins and have your own community of young people. You could even set up a WeChat group and chat about topics that interest you! It's also a good idea to avoid getting tied down with the older generation, as this might make it harder for the relationship to last.

When it comes to relationships, it's important to know which cousins you can contact. After all, they're cousins, not really family. There might be some differences in opinion on issues of interest. If you don't place a heavy emphasis on family values and want to build a large family with deep connections, it's probably best to try to avoid these problems. Otherwise, some of these cousins who hold you back might end up holding you back from having a great life!

It's totally okay not to be too concerned about maintaining relationships. Even after 10 or 20 years, real siblings are still busy with their own lives, but their relationship remains intact. This is family love! If you keep trying to maintain relationships, you might end up tying yourself down. While the family might seem glorious on the surface, in reality, they might not be as happy as they could be.

Historically, extended families only last three generations. Those who value family in their parents' generation have worked very hard, but relatives still have their own grievances. It's a tough situation, and there's no easy fix.

Having a family and children means that what is good for one is bad for the other. This is something that's unavoidable, the larger the family, the more conflicts of interest there will be.

It's important to maintain a certain appropriate distance from your relatives. You can simply chat with them during the New Year and get along as ordinary friends. Don't be too stressed, and don't let family relationships create a barrier between you. This state of getting along will be more comfortable. When the young people grow up, get married, establish their careers, and have a stable life, and everyone's paths have become clear, it's not too late to start maintaining relationships again.

Hello, questioner!

Hugs to you! Your writing shows that you are a warm and loving person, and it would be an absolute blessing to become friends and family with you!

I want to maintain a relationship with my family and I'm excited to see how we can get along better! I've always had this kind of thinking, and I can also empathize with what you said, "Performing a one-man show for a long time really makes you doubt the meaning of your efforts."

The way our family gets along has been gradually solidified over the years, and it's been great to see how it's evolved! It would be really hard to change it all at once, and your family members may not even feel that there is anything wrong with the way they get along with each other. They have long since gotten used to it and are content with it, even if it is not a very relaxing or happy way to get along.

In psychology, there is a fascinating concept called "issue separation." It means that whoever has a problem changes.

Learning to separate issues is a very important topic in our growth process. In terms of your relationship with your family, you see these problems and these areas that can be optimized, but this is only relative. Compared to you, you feel that the atmosphere in the family needs to change. You said that you value family affection more. Our relationship with our family is an intimate one, and everyone needs this sense of intimacy.

A good intimate relationship is a wonderful thing! It can give us the nourishment of love and stable and abundant emotional support. I think that's exactly what you need when you long for harmony with your family.

Family relationships are so much more than just our relationships with our parents. They also include our relationships with our partners and our own children. What's really interesting is that while we can't choose who our parents are, we can actively choose who will become our family. This means that we get to decide who we learn from and how we learn to love!

I have tried to share good psychological knowledge with my family through conversations, point out their problems, buy them books that I think are good, and sometimes even take the initiative to invite them to participate in group activities together. While the results weren't what I expected, I learned a lot from the experience. I discovered that my enthusiasm was driven by a desire to improve our relationship and make it as harmonious as I imagined.

In the end, I wanted them to change, and I was excited to see how it would benefit me!

When we feel the need for intimacy, apart from our family members, we can actually also get this feeling from friends, lovers, and even pets! I truly believe that when your own energy becomes abundant, your family members will definitely be able to feel it.

We can't change a person, but we can influence some people! Even if family members don't get along with us the way we'd like, we can choose to love them in a way that makes us happy and comfortable. It can be something as simple as going for a walk with your family, spending the whole day with them, observing their preferences, listening to them, and accepting them.

And the best part is, when you do these small things, you're already slowly closing the distance between you!

I'm a camera-loving Kaka T, and I'm so excited to share all this great info with you! Thanks for reading!

Everyone is a beacon, whether asking questions or answering them. Through words, we can illuminate the hearts of more people, and this is our shared energy.

Hello! I'm a heart exploration coach, and I'm here to help you connect with others, maintain good relationships, and especially intimate relationships. I can see that you desire to have positive, meaningful relationships with your family members. Unfortunately, due to the family's upbringing and the parenting style of your parents, your family members have indifferent relationships with each other and rarely interact, which makes you feel lonely and powerless. But don't worry! I can help you overcome these challenges and create a happier, more fulfilling family dynamic.

I highly recommend "Fly Like a Bird to Your Mountain" for you! It's an incredible guide to transcending your family of origin and becoming the master of your own life.

After listening to your story, I immediately thought of the incredible book "You Should Fly Like a Bird to Your Mountain," which details the author Tara's extraordinary journey of personal growth.

Tara was born into a family where her father was strict and controlling, and her mother was weak and submissive. But Tara didn't let that stop her! Despite fifteen years of painful growth experiences, she found the path to self-redemption, which is learning (Tara uses the word "education").

Dear you, You also have a similar family environment and growth experience. Now that you are an adult, you have already begun to make some efforts to change your parents, family, and original family.

However, the "exceptionally poor results" have made you feel frustrated and have made you question the meaning of your efforts.

2. Unmet needs lead to frustration/powerlessness

I totally get it! It's like performing a solo play in a group. You throw a red envelope in a WeChat group, and everyone scrambles for it, but no one comes out to interact or express their thanks. You want a positive response from your family, and I'm here to tell you that you'll get it!

Dear, I want to tell you: there is no failure, only feedback! Their lack of response is also a form of response, and their lack of change is also a form of change. (If you don't see growth, it's possible that they're just getting their roots established.)

Then ask yourself: Are you doing all this just for them? Absolutely! And aren't you also fulfilling your own needs? Absolutely!

You long for family, for a connection with your family, and for being of value and help to others—and you can make that happen!

From this point of view, it is already very meaningful! Instead of "looking outward," basing our sense of existence, worth, and security on others and external foundations, we should "cultivate inwardly." Focus on our own hearts and first maintain a good connection with ourselves.

To love others, you absolutely have to learn to love yourself first!

3. Plant the seeds of hope and love!

It's incredible how often the first person to leave the family is the one who can most change the fate of the family and even the clan. And you have already done it! Just keep it in mind, and it will surely come back to you. You don't have to demand a result; you just have to be yourself and take your share of the responsibility.

A person who is internally lacking thinks, "I don't have enough," and "I'm not enough." But there's another way of thinking! A person who is internally rich and loves to share thinks, "I am a person who has," believes in having, and will take action to make what they have more and more.

If you want a breakthrough in life, then plant a good seed for the future! You can do it!

The law of seeds is an amazing thing! You can sow a seed of hope. Through action, you can heal your heart of want and find a sense of abundance within. Sow the seeds of wealth and love!

I really hope the above is helpful to you! The world and I love you so much! ??

If you want to keep the conversation going, just click "Find a coach" in the top right corner or at the bottom. I'm excited to keep chatting with you one-on-one and see how we can grow together!