Is there anything wrong with speaking slowly to my elderly grandmother, who is hard of hearing?

You really are a very filial and considerate person, aren't you? It is so important to understand your grandmother's feelings and try to communicate with her as best you can.

Everyone has their own way of communicating with older people, and that's totally normal! It's so important to care for and respect their feelings. If you feel that speaking loudly makes your grandmother uncomfortable, it's totally okay to stick to your original communication style.

In this case, you can try the following:

It's time to communicate with family members! Find an appropriate time to chat with the rest of the family about your observations and feelings. Let them know why you think speaking in a lower voice would be more effective for Grandma and emphasize your concern for her comfort.

Through communication, you can absolutely hope that they will better understand your position!

2. Provide evidence: If possible, you can share specific examples, such as when Grandma trembled from being spoken to loudly. This will give your family a more intuitive understanding of your point of view, which is great!

3. Seek compromise: You can absolutely find a solution that will allow Grandma to hear you clearly without making her feel uncomfortable! For example, you could suggest that your family members speak a little louder when they talk to Grandma, but not too loudly, and also try to speak closer to her so that she can hear more easily.

4. Respect the opinions of family members: Even though you may not agree with their approach, respect their opinions and their point of view. It's so important to try to understand why they choose to speak loudly. It may be because they are not aware of Grandma's reaction or don't know any better.

Remember, your grandmother's feelings are the most important thing here. If you think your way is better for her, then it's worth continuing. At the same time, try to maintain family harmony and avoid conflicts over this issue. If you have any other problems related to your grandmother, you can talk to me about it. I'm here to help!

Hello. I'm glad I can answer your question. I hope my suggestions help.

We're right about this situation.

The family's way of communicating is not wrong.

We all want to be more considerate of Grandma. We want to help her hear our interactions and not feel lonely.

Everyone's intentions are good, but everyone expresses themselves differently.

We can't control the volume for a hard-of-hearing person.

Some people raise their voice, while others speak more slowly.

There's no wrong way, just that it may not be right for Grandma.

We can see that Grandma is startled by loud speech, so we've chosen to slow down our speech when talking to her. This is good awareness, but not everyone is this aware, so other family members may not have noticed.

We can be more aware of the situation and see if Grandma can hear us. As long as she can hear us, we can just carry on in our own way.

If you don't understand, ask Grandma. If someone says you're too quiet, ask Grandma to nod and say if you're speaking loud enough. If Grandma agrees, no one else needs to say anything because everyone will be able to hear clearly.

Ask Grandma at a moderate volume, not an extremely loud one.

Grandma can hear at 6, not 10. If you speak at 8, she'll be startled. Speak at 5 or 6, and she can hear.

We think our voices are too soft for Grandma to hear, but she can hear us. Sometimes, her loud voices scare her. We can let our family know that when we talk to Grandma, we can lower our voices. We can speak a little louder or speak more slowly.

Our approach is not wrong. We should communicate more with each other as a family, in a calm state, and find a way to communicate with Grandma that is suitable for her.

I hope you can find a way to communicate with your family that is suitable for everyone. Together, we can make Grandma's life more convenient!

I love you!

Hello, question asker! I'm a heart exploration coach.

I read your post on the platform about the issues you're having with your grandmother. It seems like you're trying to communicate with her in a way that's clear for her to hear, but the rest of the family is speaking loudly because they think that's the only way she can hear. This is making her feel scared, which is not good. It seems like you're not sure how to approach this with the rest of the family.

From what you said, it seems like you're the only one in the family who can control your tone of voice and communicate with your grandmother. But you often get blamed by other family members. You feel frustrated and upset, and most of all, you think that shouting at the top of your voice will scare your grandmother. You're not wrong, but your family is just used to this way of communicating. You can think of other ways, such as letting your grandmother use a hearing aid to hear you clearly.

Let me help you analyze and sort it out:

1. Find a good way to get along.

Is there a better way to do this? Your family members are used to communicating with Grandma loudly, but you can get the elderly person's attention before speaking. For example, you can tap the other person lightly or make a gesture to get their attention. This way, the elderly person will know you want to talk to them and will pay attention. Most importantly, they won't be startled suddenly. You can also discuss this method with your family members, which will help Grandma communicate better with you.

2. Communicate in a scientific and reasonable manner.

When you're talking to your grandmother, try to choose a quiet environment to communicate with the elderly. This will help you focus on your voice, speak slowly, and lower your tone. Speak slowly and clearly to the elderly, be gentle, and speak as quietly as possible. Don't shout, because even if your voice is loud, the elderly still won't be able to hear you clearly, and they will really be scared. That kind of communication method is really bad, and it's also what you mind the most.

3. Stay true to your attitude and position.

No matter what you did, you did what was best for Grandma. Be patient when talking to the elderly. Plus, Grandma is hard of hearing, so if you're impatient or speak too quietly, it'll be hard for her to understand. You may have to repeat yourself a few times, but be patient and wait for her to finish speaking. Don't interrupt her once the conversation has started. Just stick to your guns and don't beat yourself up.

4. With the help of some outside support

If grandma has hearing in only one ear, you can let her choose which ear to use to listen to you. Pay attention to how grandma's feeling. If her emotions change a lot, help her feel more stable, watch how she acts, and talk to the family about getting her hearing aids. This also helps avoid communication problems and makes grandma feel more comfortable.

I hope this helps. If you need to talk more, you can follow me (click on my personal homepage), choose the Heart Exploration service, and send me a message. Thanks, and have a great day!

Dear Questioner, I empathize with your situation. Effective communication with your grandmother, who is elderly and has declining hearing, requires a compassionate and patient approach.

You slowed down your speech and attempted to articulate each word with clarity, which is indicative of respect and care for your grandmother. You did this out of a genuine desire to demonstrate your filial piety.

It is possible that other family members have chosen to communicate loudly in order to make it easier for Grandma to hear. However, it is important to consider that everyone's hearing is unique and that we should consider Grandma's actual feelings more.

You indicated that speaking loudly frightens Grandma, which is a valid concern that requires attention.

In psychology, communication is not merely the conveyance of information; it is also the exchange of emotions. The manner in which you communicate with your grandmother is, in fact, a means of expressing a profound sense of affection and care.

It is likely that this emotional connection is of greater importance to Grandma than simply being able to hear what is being said.

Furthermore, I would like to acknowledge your persistence and hard work. As the only family member who can communicate with Grandma in this manner, you have assumed additional responsibilities and expectations.

However, this does not mean that you should bear the burden of confusion and uncertainty alone.

I have some specific suggestions on how to improve communication with your grandmother that I hope will be of assistance.

Firstly, it would be beneficial to share your feelings and thoughts with your family in order to gain their understanding of your reasons for communicating with your grandmother in this way. Through a calm and in-depth exchange, you may be able to identify a way to communicate that can both satisfy your grandmother's hearing needs and make her feel comfortable and at ease.

As a next step, you may wish to consider using assistive tools to help Grandma hear you better. For example, you could use a hearing aid designed for people with hearing impairments, or adjust the ambient noise in the home to make the conversation environment quieter and clearer.

Additionally, you may wish to consider alternative methods of communication with your grandmother. For instance, you could write brief notes or create simple drawings to convey your thoughts and feelings, thereby enabling your grandmother to perceive your care and affection through the visual medium.

In conclusion, regardless of the method you choose to communicate with your grandmother, it is crucial to ensure she feels your love and care. Your efforts and persistence are aimed at fostering a sense of warmth and belonging within the family.

Therefore, it is important to have confidence in your abilities and in the correctness of your actions. Furthermore, it is essential to maintain the provision of love and warmth to your grandmother.

Dear Poster, You have done an excellent job. Your persistence and hard work represent the sincerest form of communication with your grandmother.

Please continue to demonstrate gentleness and patience in your interactions with Grandma. At the same time, it is important to believe that your family will understand your intentions and support you in creating a more harmonious and warm family environment for Grandma.

I would like to extend my best wishes to you once again. I hope that your relationship with your grandmother continues to improve and that your life is filled with love and happiness.

Hello!

You are absolutely right to speak nicely to your grandmother! I'm really sorry you feel aggrieved.

Grandma is 88 years old and has poor hearing, so when you speak to her, you speak slowly and clearly so that she can hear you. The rest of the family are used to speaking loudly to Grandma so that she can hear them clearly.

The good news is that there are lots of ways to help the elderly hear clearly! You can slow down your speech rate, speak louder, lean over to speak into their ear, or give them a suitable hearing aid.

You and your family members use different methods of speaking to Grandma, but the aim is the same: to find ways to make her hear you clearly. This is consistent, and it's great that you're all on the same page!

You've got this! You know that if you speak too loudly to your grandmother, she will tremble. So you control your voice and don't speak too loudly.

You are the only person in the family who can control the tone of voice and communicate with your grandmother, which is pretty cool. Sure, the rest of the family might blame you sometimes, but you know you haven't done anything wrong. You're just different from them, and you're proud of that!

You noticed that your grandmother's reaction to loud noises is trembling, and you think this is the result of her being frightened, so you think speaking loudly is harmful to her. Your family members don't think there is any harm in speaking loudly, and they believe that speaking in a louder voice is the only way to communicate with your grandmother.

So you both find each other's way of speaking unacceptable — and that's okay!

I have a feeling that your family members think your way of speaking is not audible to Grandma and does not serve the purpose of making her hear you clearly. Or perhaps they think that you are different from them and are acting a little unconventionally.

Maybe they think that if they don't compare themselves to you, speaking loudly is a normal way of communicating. But since your way of speaking is too "gentle" and different from theirs, it seems that they are being rude to grandma and not being friendly because they speak too loudly. This is an excellent opportunity for you to stand up for yourself and your communication style! You can say something like, "I appreciate your perspective, but I believe that speaking loudly is not rude or unfriendly. It's just a different way of communicating."

The reasons for these criticisms are all my subjective speculations, and I think you will have your own speculations too!

In short, you've done nothing wrong! You absolutely deserve to stick to the way you communicate with your grandmother.

Just because you are different from your family members, it doesn't mean you should learn from them and conform to the crowd. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being unique!

Absolutely! You can insist on doing the right thing. The way you communicate with your grandmother is unique to you and her, and she's already used to the way you communicate with her.

If you become different, Grandma will still not be able to adapt. But you know what? That's okay! Speaking nicely is a reflection of civilization. So just stick to being yourself and doing the right thing!

The other family members are blaming you, but they must have their reasons. It's just that they can't adapt.

You know you're absolutely right! You came here to ask questions to be more sure of your feelings. So you will respect your feelings and not doubt yourself or waver because of other people's blame.

Be brave and be yourself! You're great!

The world and I love you, and you must love yourself too!

Good day. I am Strawberry.

In the event of a divergence of opinions regarding the suitability of a given action, it is not sufficient to conclude that the majority view is inherently correct merely because it is the majority view. Rather, the appropriateness of an action must be evaluated based on the actual issues at hand.

The issue of self-doubt due to blame is a significant factor in this situation.

The 88-year-old grandmother of the questioner is experiencing age-related hearing loss. To facilitate communication with her and ensure she is able to hear, the questioner's family members have become accustomed to speaking loudly to her.

Increasing the volume of speech when communicating with the elderly does permit the questioner's grandmother to hear everything simultaneously. However, this mode of communication also has an impact on the questioner's grandmother, manifesting as fear and trembling each time family members engage in this manner.

The questioner demonstrates keen observational skills, noting the issues in familial interactions. He attempts to communicate with his grandmother in a manner that is more receptive to her, yet his unique communication style is not endorsed by his family. Instead, he is met with criticism. This prompts the questioner to question his actions and consider whether he should adhere to the same communication approach as his family members.

A comparison of alternative communication methods

The questioner's grandmother's age-related hearing loss is not temporary. While choosing to communicate loudly may have a certain effect, the consequence is that the elderly person will tremble with fear. If this continues for a long time, the psychological impact on the elderly person is immeasurable.

From the author's words, we can ascertain that the family's criticism in response to the author's method of slowing down and communicating with her grandmother is that just because the family disapproves, it does not follow that the author's approach is incorrect. It may be surmised that this disapproval includes the fact that other family members are unable to choose a gentler way to communicate with their grandmother like the author.

Although slowing down the pace of speech requires more time to convey information, the questioner found that this method also facilitates effective communication with their grandmother. The disparate responses to the two communication methods can be attributed to the fact that, with regard to communication, the other family members lack patience and care, treating their grandmother in a manner that differs from that of the questioner. Alternatively, it could be stated more bluntly that they are more concerned with their own feelings and pace of life, and thus ignore the impact on the questioner's grandmother.

One might inquire as to why speaking in a polite manner is regarded as an error.

Each individual has a unique method of self-expression. If one is unable to accept the diversity of self-expression among others and recognize the potential shortcomings in one's own approach, it is only logical to conclude that there are varying levels of cognitive processing. Attempting to impose uniformity in this regard is futile.

☀️Empathy: The questioner's grandmother exhibited a visibly fearful response to the questioner's loud communication, which the questioner observed to be a recurrent phenomenon. In the absence of clarity regarding the circumstances, it is uncertain whether the other family members' actions can be attributed to genuine carelessness or a deliberate attempt to avoid confrontation.

One potential approach to fostering understanding and empathy among family members regarding the relative merits and drawbacks of different communication styles is to facilitate a shared experience. This could entail having each family member engage with both communication styles and observe the associated emotional responses.

One can only truly understand and empathize with the situation by experiencing it firsthand. This allows for a genuine appreciation of the discomfort and impact that the inappropriate communication style has had on the questioner's grandmother. The prerequisite for this is that the questioner's grandmother is treated with the utmost respect and filial piety. This will inevitably lead to the questioner choosing a more appropriate communication style.

The behavior of the question asker and her grandmother is perceived as problematic by the question asker's family members. These individuals attribute the observed behavior to the use of disparate communication methods. They assert that there are underlying reasons for this behavior. The lack of willingness to acknowledge the importance of spending more time and patience with the question asker's grandmother is identified as a key factor influencing the behavior of the question asker's family members.

When everyone adheres to the same communication style, it becomes easier to hide feelings of guilt and shame. Over time, this can lead to a sense of indifference. The questioner's communication style is in stark contrast to their performance, which serves as an invisible reminder of their neglect and attitude towards the questioner's grandmother. This can cause discomfort for those who engage in such communication. To maintain their status quo, they may choose to blame the questioner and even attempt to convince the questioner to "join them."

It is imperative to adhere to one's principles. The questioner is aware of the impact of other individuals' communication methods on Grandma. The fact that the questioner communicates with Grandma in other ways demonstrates that the questioner disapproves of communicating loudly. Despite being blamed by his family, it is likely that the questioner still has something to hold on to in his heart.

Different levels of thinking. When other family members express disapproval of the questioner's communication style, excessive communication and arguing will only serve to prove that their words are wasted. It is essential to adhere to one's principles, avoid allowing the blame of others to affect one's emotions, and refrain from developing a negative self-perception that ultimately undermines one's sense of self-worth.

Conforming to the opinions of others may result in the loss of the opportunity to gain insight and pursue a meaningful course of action. In the face of disapproval, it is essential to maintain a sense of self-assurance and adhere to one's principles.

It is my hope that this response will prove beneficial to the individual who posed the question. Sincerely,

Hello. I see you.

I also have elderly people with hearing problems in my family, so I know exactly what you're talking about.

In our village, we say, "Half-crazy and deaf." It means that people who are hard of hearing are more likely to become disconnected from the outside world, find it difficult to integrate into the world around them, and have no idea what's going on. When they communicate with others, people are likely to become impatient and unwilling to explain too much, so they tend to hide in their own world, giving the impression that they are silly. However, inside they are more sensitive. And when other people talk to the elderly who are hard of hearing, they will also become impatient more easily because they have to explain more and the cost of communication is higher.

Elderly people with hearing loss are even more sensitive. They need to be treated normally.

There is nothing wrong with raising your voice when talking to an elderly person who is hard of hearing. It can improve the effectiveness of communication. What your family did was perfectly normal. However, if the emotions behind the raised voice, such as impatience, are sensitively perceived by the elderly person, they will also feel hurt and their self-esteem will be damaged.

The elderly have other needs besides the need to communicate. Grandma is lucky that you noticed her needs.

You seem to be a very sensitive person. You say that if you speak too loudly to your grandmother, she will tremble with fear. What emotion is behind the trembling?

You have undoubtedly captured something, such as the impatience behind speaking loudly, such as Grandma's injury. This has changed the way you speak to Grandma.

You would rather reduce the efficiency of communication and give your grandmother the dignity of being treated as a normal person. You think this is more important than the content of the communication itself. This is the content of your communication, and it's a very valuable expression.

In that moment, she was no longer a vulnerable elderly person who needed to be taken care of because she was hard of hearing. She was just herself. You were also just yourself, not someone who had to follow certain rules when talking to your grandmother. The two of you had reached some kind of understanding, and your grandmother could feel it. What a beautiful and unique picture of communication!

I am confident that the above perspective will be of benefit to you. Best regards!