Is this kind of change in sisters-in-law normal?

I hope you find this information useful.

From your description, it seems that she may be comparing herself to you. This may have led her to feel inferior to you, particularly in your presence. It's possible that she is avoiding facing this inferiority, which is something you may need to address.

Are you comparing your performance to hers? How do you intend to interact with her?

What are your expectations from this relationship? If you wish to maintain a positive working relationship, it is essential to communicate effectively. This requires a clear understanding of her actions and your own needs.

I advise you to:

You will gain insight into the psychological motivation behind her behavior.

From your description, it seems that when you become more proficient, she avoids you because she feels her abilities are inferior to yours. This is not your fault. She is the one who compares herself to you, and you have lived the way she wants to live, so she envies you, or you could say she is jealous. She avoids you because she doesn't want to face her own inferiority and frustration. This is a very common coping strategy, but it doesn't actually solve the problem.

Her feelings of inferiority stem from a lack of fulfillment of her aspirations. Additionally, she aspires to earn more money and improve her quality of life. If she achieves these goals through her own efforts, her behavior will naturally change. However, this requires her to be aware of her current situation and to desire change.

It would be beneficial for you to understand the rationale behind her behavior, which will allow you to gain a deeper insight into her perspective. This is a pattern she has developed, and it manifests not only in her interactions with you, but also in her comparisons to others who have achieved the lifestyle she aspires to. When you can comprehend her actions, you will be better equipped to manage your response, rather than being driven by negative emotions.

2. It is important to clarify your expectations and motivations in your relationship with her.

In such a situation, it is important to understand your own thoughts and emotions. What are you thinking when she does this to you? What is the underlying cause of your feelings?

Do you feel that your contributions are being overlooked or that your opinions are not being valued?

If you still feel unappreciated or unaccepted, please let us know.

Your concern is driven by an underlying need, and it is this need that is not being met which is causing you to care so much. It is also important to recognise that when your core need, such as being respected, is not met, you will feel concerned and uncomfortable, not just in your relationship with her, but in any other relationship.

This is what you want, and this is the fulfillment of your need. It is evident that she is currently unable to meet your needs, and therefore it would be beneficial for you to find someone who can. If your needs are respected, then it would be advisable to seek someone who can give you respect. Those who do not respect you are unlikely to be capable of giving you respect, as they may not know how to respect themselves. If you go to them for respect, you may find that they are unable to give it.

Furthermore, it is important to recognize that if we are particularly eager for others to respect us and often feel sad because our need for respect has not been met, it may be because we do not respect ourselves enough. This may indicate a deficiency within us, causing us to constantly look outward.

It is also essential to develop respect for oneself and an enhanced sense of self-worth. Referring to the exercises on the "Pocket Exercises" platform can help improve self-esteem and enhance a sense of self-worth. This can facilitate greater ease in the relationship and prevent doubting one's own value based on the actions of others.

3. Effective communication in a relationship can be achieved through "nonviolent communication" to promote relationship development.

If you wish to maintain a positive relationship with her, it is important to communicate effectively. Accept, understand, and respect her views, and then express your own feelings, needs, and specific requests. Use the method of "non-violent communication" to communicate with her, avoiding judgment or blame. State the facts, express your true feelings and needs, and listen to her views. This will help to maintain a positive relationship.

For example, you can arrange a meeting with her in private and say: "Over the past few days, you have not spent much time with me, which has caused me some concern. I value your respect and consideration, so I would like to understand your reasons for this and discuss how I can help. If you are not ready to express yourself, that is fine, but I would like to know your needs so that I can support you." If she is not ready to express herself, you can respect that. However, if she is willing to express herself, you can understand her needs through her expression. For example, she may also want your recognition and affection, but now she feels unworthy. In this case, you can give her appropriate recognition and encouragement, express your trust and support for her, and work together to improve the relationship.

This is applicable to all relationships. If each party is able to meet the other's needs, the relationship will progress towards a mutually beneficial dynamic. However, if the other party is uncooperative and the desired outcome cannot be achieved, it is also a prudent decision to maintain appropriate boundaries and distance.

Please refer to the above for your information. Best regards,