It feels really bad to be lectured at. Anyone can lecture you about their personal experiences.

Good day, questioner. My name is Jing Shu, and I would like to engage in a discussion with you regarding this matter.

First and foremost, I would like to express my sincerest gratitude for your clear-headedness and rationality. Despite being inundated with a multitude of opinions and experiencing a sense of urgency and irritation, you have remained composed and thoughtful. It is evident that you have established your own standards and strategies for navigating your emotions.

The following aspects will be explored:

What motivates the act of "labeling"?

In essence, the inclination to categorize individuals is an expression of a need for control. To illustrate, an elder may utilize past experiences and values to caution against potential missteps and advise avoidance of certain behaviors.

An additional example is a leader at work who believes you are a particular type of individual.

In the event that one is "labeled," what are the implications?

One can also consider the reverse approach, beginning with a closed question, "Am I like they say?" and then an open question, "In what ways do I embody that?"

In the event that the final answer does not align with the description provided by the label, it is advisable to discard it.

Conduct a mental exercise in which you imagine a large label has been affixed to your person. Then, remove the label.

Dear question asker,

Your demeanor suggests a straightforwardness of character, accompanied by a resolute expression of disinclination towards matters that do not align with your preferences. It is plausible that your family, relatives, and friends have repeatedly attempted to persuade you, which has culminated in a sense of mounting irritation.

1. Your annoyance stems from your failure to decline the invitation with sufficient firmness, motivated by a desire to be polite. However, your repeated justifications have only led to persistent and irritating reminders.

2. You are disinclined to accept being lectured on social values and life experience from a moral high ground, particularly when it is done in the name of "for your own good."

I empathize with your predicament. Any individual in your circumstances would likely experience a similar sense of unease.

It is important to express one's position in a gentle but firm manner, to refuse to be repeatedly entangled in the situation, and to refuse to be labeled indiscriminately.

1. It is imperative to maintain emotional stability when articulating one's position. A person's emotional response can inadvertently convey to the other party that one's stance on the matter is emotionally driven and irrational, necessitating external intervention.

2. It is essential to listen attentively and with patience to the other person's perspective, restate it in one's own words to demonstrate comprehension, and then confirm that this accurately reflects what the other person intended to convey.

3. Subsequently, the individual should inform the other party of their own concerns, considerations, and plans. Alternatively, they may simply express gratitude for the other party's suggestions, acknowledge the other party's kindness, and indicate that they currently have their own goals and plans and will not consider this matter for the time being. However, they may still express gratitude for the reminder.

However, based on your account, it appears that you are disillusioned and disheartened about the blind date, and you have already formed a negative opinion.

It would be prudent to inform the other party directly that you are experiencing fatigue and desire a temporary reprieve to recuperate. It is our hope that they will grant you the necessary space to recuperate and reflect on your future plans.

I wish you the best of success in your endeavors.

Dear Question Asker,

Given my own experiences, I am in a position to engage in a discussion on this topic.

Does this perception of excessive concern align with the profile of individuals encountered in everyday life who engage in sales activities? Even in the absence of a purchase, they persist in inquiring about the underlying reasons and potential considerations that may be influencing the decision not to buy.

Subsequently, the individual attempts to persuade the other by presenting reasons, which may appear to be an effort to enlighten the other person but are, in fact, an attempt to influence their moral beliefs.

"It is necessary to pay in order to receive something in return. One can simply refrain from participating in the hot pot once a month." "It is always possible to find the time; one only needs to spend 30 minutes a day."

Every utterance seems to be for our own benefit, but in fact they are evaluating our character. If you are not willing to expend this modest sum, it is unsurprising that you are perceived as unsuccessful.

The same can be said of individuals introduced to us by family and friends. Failure to accept an invitation to a blind date may be perceived as obstinacy, which may ultimately result in regret. However, the motivation behind such insistence is not solely financial; for salespeople, the objective is to facilitate a purchase, thereby earning a commission and meeting their KPIs.

In the case of family and friends, the majority of their initial concerns pertain to our future prospects. An awareness of this fact can facilitate our ability to respond to their input.

As the individual who introduces a greater number of people to my family, I will now share with you the most effective methods for dealing with this situation.

It is advisable to communicate your requirements to your family members in a clear and unambiguous manner.

I will share my career plan with my family and indicate the probable age at which I will marry. If I require assistance in locating a partner, I will request their help. However, if I do not require such assistance, it is unnecessary, and therefore should not be a cause for concern.

Should one be disinclined to pursue a romantic relationship at this time, it is advisable to inform one's family members of this decision and to indicate that one will communicate when one is prepared to do so.

My family is eager to facilitate our marriage, largely due to concerns that we may not achieve personal fulfillment if we pursue this path independently.

I have had some experience with this phenomenon. On occasion, I have shared with my family the frustrations I have encountered in my professional life. Following each such disclosure, they have become increasingly eager to recommend a potential partner to me. This may be because, from their perspective, the individual in question is unable to assist with the challenges I face at work and in my personal life. However, they believe that he can help me to form a stable and supportive family unit.

It is believed that this will result in a notable improvement in quality of life. Therefore, sharing updates on one's progress and achievements on a regular basis can also effectively reduce their concerns.

It is recommended that the opportunity be taken to convey ideas that are in keeping with the times.

I will engage in sincere discourse with my family and present some ideas, for instance, that in the modern era, women are not as they once were and must be independent and financially self-sufficient. Marriage is not a secure haven for women, and even a virtuous man may become corrupt. No individual's word can be relied upon; confidence is the sole reliable quality.

I will inform them that my current priority is work and that I would prefer to discuss relationships on my own initially. In the event that I desire to meet someone but lack the necessary resources, I will request their assistance in identifying potential candidates and making specific requests, emphasizing the importance of locating an individual who aligns with the established criteria and excluding those who do not.

It is also possible that family members may offer their opinions, but as long as the individual has considered the matter carefully and is firm in their stance, they will gradually come to accept the facts. It is not uncommon for disagreements to arise when discussing these issues with family members.

Subsequently, I would counsel my esteemed grandmother, "Let us not allow these matters to cause distress. Would it not be beneficial if your granddaughter were to remain unmarried and reside with you for an additional two years?" My grandmother would then acquiesce, albeit with some reluctance.

It is recommended that negative labels be accepted rationally, changed if possible, and ignored if not. The other person's moral evaluation is akin to that of a salesperson, who attempts to influence purchases by labeling the consumer and inducing guilt. This approach is likely to be ineffective.

I am a meticulous thinker, and it is my sincere hope that the aforementioned information will prove beneficial to you. I extend my gratitude to you for perusing this material.