It's annoying to talk to my mother, she won't stop talking, and I get annoyed. What if I'm unhappy?

The questioner: The present is good! Be grateful for having met.

Your words show me clearly that you are angry and resentful about your mother's behavior. She is absorbed in her own world, talking non-stop about herself and completely ignoring your feelings.

Your mother is seeking attention and wants your care and understanding. She is like a hungry baby who cries endlessly when she doesn't get what she wants. She doesn't care about how the other person reacts or feels.

She lives in a world that's all about her. In that moment, she's younger than you are, asking for love, regardless of whether you can give it to her or handle her negative emotions.

She needs to be seen and heard.

Second, she has a lot of emotions inside that need to be cleared and healed because they have accumulated too much and are fermenting and becoming more negative. There is little sunshine in her life, so as soon as her emotional switch is triggered, she will become hysterical. The valves of all kinds of negative emotions will suddenly open, and she will be unable to control them and is not aware of them.

It's normal that you don't want to spend time with her. It's also understandable that you resent her words and actions.

In the end, her negativity and her state are her life lessons. You don't have to take on her negativity and let it affect your own life.

You must consistently express your feelings and say that you don't want to listen. Guard your energy and protect yourself from her influence.

If possible, refer her to a counselor or therapist to help her heal her mental illness. Don't concern yourself with how she reacts to your rejection. It's not your problem.

You can't give her the attention and love she wants right now, so you need to guard your own boundaries.

I am confident that my answer is helpful, and I wish you the best!

Hi, I went through something similar a year ago, so I'd like to share my self-healing process with you in case it helps.

1. Describing your mother's illness can make you feel guilty.

A year ago, my mom was also sick. At the time, I was really scared to call her. When we spoke on the phone, she would always tell me how much pain she was in and how hopeless she felt. I found it really upsetting to hear her voice like that.

At first, I was patient, but when I heard it all the time, I felt helpless and powerless because I couldn't help her relieve the pain and I couldn't replace her. It made me feel guilty.

When you feel guilty, you want to get rid of it, but there are some things you just can't get over.

2. Finding a ray of hope

Once I realized I was guilty, I saw that my mother was ill and had no hope. I decided to give her hope. As it happened, a friend of my mother's was also ill. She visited the person despite her illness. After hearing about the other person's illness, my mother realized she was lucky to still be able to walk, while the other person was still undergoing chemotherapy. She also heard many people say that she was recovering well.

Around this time, she started going home less and focusing more on herself.

3. From complaining to taking the initiative

Instead of complaining, she started to get my father to do the housework, which transformed the parent-child relationship into a husband-and-wife relationship. I told her, "As long as you're alive, my father will be happy every day. He couldn't do anything before, and he took care of you while you were sick for half a year. Look how hard it was for him.

My mom started trying to teach my dad how to do household chores. He wasn't very good at it, but she would still give him a few words of encouragement.

After six months, my mom was able to take on simple household tasks and cook. She's full of hope for the future and is now very happy, not dwelling on her illness, and always smiling.

Here are some intervention methods:

1. One way to help her is to tell her about people who are worse off than she is. This can help her to gain hope.

2. Let her know that she's already so strong. Not everyone can overcome the disease. She's really great.

3. Let her know that there's hope and encourage her to focus on what she can do.

4. Reach out to her and give her an update on your situation. You can also share some positive stories about people who have recovered from the same illness.

Hello, I'm Fei Yun, a heart exploration coach.

It's understandable that you feel upset and even angry because your mother is overly emotional and doesn't care about your feelings. Let's discuss this together:

? 1. Mom's emotional needs

When Mum is ill, she may appreciate some care and attention, and she may be inclined to talk about herself. At this time, family members can provide a great deal of support, and she may benefit from having her emotional needs met by them.

We all have different states of being: an adult, an inner parent, and an inner child. Even though she is your mother, she is also a flesh-and-blood human being with emotional needs.

When she is ill, she may feel vulnerable and longing for more care and appreciation from others. Showing her that you are listening, even if you don't respond in a positive way, can be a form of support for her.

Perhaps that's why she just keeps going, regardless of your reaction. It could be that she's feeling desperate to talk to someone and has finally found someone who's willing to listen.

If it's not too much trouble, could you tell me where your father is at this time? Do you have any sisters?

It might be helpful to consider whether your mother has any girlfriends or siblings who could assist in sharing some of the emotional stress.

? 2. Your emotional needs

It seems that your mother may not always consider your feelings, and tends to focus on her own emotions and health issues. You feel that she is perhaps not as attentive to your needs as you would like, and that your boundaries have been crossed on occasion.

While you and your mother are connected by blood, you are also two independent individuals. It is natural for you to need to give each other some freedom, especially psychological freedom.

It is only natural that when your emotional needs are not met, you will also experience a range of emotions, including irritability, anger, resentment, and even hatred.

It is not uncommon for parents to share too much with their children, which can sometimes affect their emotional and emotional well-being. Even in the closest of relationships, it is important to maintain a sense of boundaries.

Suggestion 3:

1) Seeing your mother's needs and your own emotions

It might be helpful to remember that your mother's constant chatter is simply her way of strengthening the connection with you and getting her emotional needs met. She may be afraid of being alone.

At the same time, you may also notice some anger and irritability in yourself. Emotions often convey very important messages to us, and they will only leave after they have fulfilled their role as messengers if we receive them.

It would be beneficial for you to consider that your emotional needs may include freedom, independent space, and respect.

2) It might be helpful to consider ending the day on a positive note.

If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed by your emotions in the presence of your mother, it might be helpful to step away from the situation for a moment to gain some distance and perspective.

For instance, if you're on the phone, you might consider finding a reasonable reason to hang up. Similarly, if you're in person, you could ask a family member to act as a buffer. In short, it's important to prioritize your own well-being before taking care of others.

I hope the above is helpful to you. I also hope it helps the world. And I love you.

If you would like to continue the conversation, you are welcome to click "Find a coach" in the upper right corner or at the bottom. I would be delighted to communicate and grow with you one-on-one.

Hello!

I'm a heart exploration coach. Learning is the body's treasure.

From what you said, I can tell you're restless, uncomfortable, and in pain.

I won't go into detail about your problems with your mother, but I have three pieces of advice:

First, try to understand yourself and accept your situation.

It will make your heart feel slightly lighter, which will help you think about what to do next.

Your mother is ill. She talks about her feelings a lot, regardless of your reaction. You feel disgusted and think she's sending negative messages. You don't want to spend time with her. It's understandable because most children have a mother who sends negative energy. You feel forced to accept and listen, and ignored. Try to understand yourself and comfort yourself. See that uncomfortable, painful self inside. This will give you mental energy to think about other things. Otherwise, your mind will be filled with negative emotions.

Allowing yourself to understand and accept your current state makes it possible to promote change. Change is based on allowing for no change.

Secondly, think about your own state.

Rational thinking helps you understand yourself and reality.

To take a rational approach, do the following two things:

In an intimate relationship, the person who suffers more and changes first includes parent-child relationships.

You're suffering because you came here for help. You need to make changes. Then your mother will change, and your relationship will improve.

You can change the status quo.

When you take action, your relationship with your mother will change. You need to believe in yourself and the power of time.

Focus on yourself and think about how you can feel better.

For example, you can have a conversation with your mother about how you feel. First, try to understand her situation. Second, start sentences with "I" and avoid using "you." When your mother understands how you feel, she may change.

Give your mother some time. She may be used to confiding in you, and it's not easy to change habits. During this period, learn to communicate in a firm but non-hostile manner. Tell her you're uncomfortable and refuse to listen to her nagging. When she realizes you'll be annoyed by negative information, she'll likely change.

Try to accept your mother for who she is. Stop expecting her to change. When you stop expecting her to change, the negative influence she brings to you will slowly disappear. At this time, you can try to live separately from her if you have the conditions. This will also give you some space and make you feel better. In short, you need to know that you can do something to improve the current situation.

Taking action will help you feel better.

I hope my answer helps. Click "Find a coach to interpret – online conversation" at the bottom to communicate further.

Hello!

Hug you! The influence of the original family will bring us emotions, personality, values, etc. This is also the reason why it is difficult for us to correctly judge our own feelings and emotions. We're afraid of being ignored but don't know how to express negative feelings.

How can we help parents who are feeling negative emotions?

First of all, you don't have to take on your parents' emotions. It's important to recognize your own needs. Many children find it challenging to get along with their parents and may not know how to express their feelings in a healthy way. Deep down, they may feel like they're causing their parents stress because of themselves, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy.

It's totally normal for a child to feel guilty when their mom is sick. It's hard to see their mom in pain and not be able to help her. It's also normal to feel powerless when you can't provide practical help. But it's important to remember that your mom's illness is not your responsibility. You can give her the best emotional support you can and find professionals to help her deal with her pain.

Second, it's important to adapt to the mother's illness and accept the negative emotions that come with it. Having a sick family member can also cause anxiety, tension, fear, and other emotions in other family members because our connections to each other are very close. We can see the distress and suffering of each other, and we will inevitably feel the suffering together. So, in addition to helping our mothers reduce pain, we must also learn to face our own emotions, learn how to accept negative emotions, and relieve our emotions. Only in this way can we better help our family and help them get through the crisis. While learning to accept the emotions of others, we can better accept and understand ourselves, and our emotions can be better relieved.

It's totally normal to feel pressure and distress, so don't be afraid to share it with your mother. It's also important to remember that a family will handle problems in its own way, and sometimes this means making sacrifices and suppressing feelings. For example, if your mother is sick, it's natural for all the family's attention to be on her. But it's also important to remember that you might be feeling negative emotions too, and it's okay to express them. In this situation, it's common for the roles of mother and daughter to reverse. This means that you need to protect your emotions and feelings, consider your mother's feelings and thoughts, and take responsibility for how she feels. This can make it difficult for you to express your own feelings and thoughts, and it can cause a lot of pressure. It's totally normal to feel this way, and it's important to remember that you don't have to continue paying for the responsibilities of parents. You can speak up for yourself and share your true feelings, communicate with your parents, and take back your role in the family.

I'm sending you lots of good luck and encouragement! You've got this!

Question author:

My name is Kelly Shui, and I'm a heart explorer.

You have mentioned that you find it challenging to engage in conversation with your mother, as she tends to talk continuously, and you feel a sense of frustration when you are experiencing negative emotions.

It can be quite a complex feeling, understanding your mother so well while also feeling distressed and sad about her troubles and, at the same time, feeling unhappy yourself.

Perhaps we could take a moment to consider the underlying reasons for our aversion? What are they?

Has your mother always been very open with you about her feelings?

Could you please clarify how long you have been experiencing unhappy feelings?

How long can you bear such feelings if your mother keeps communicating in this way?

It would be helpful to be aware of your emotions.

It might be helpful to remember that seeing is healing. As family members are often the people closest to us, we may sometimes feel resentment and unhappiness towards our mothers' feelings. This is a real feeling that we can all relate to.

It may be helpful to accept and acknowledge your feelings, and to try to understand the underlying reasons for them.

I recall a friend of mine whose parents rarely communicated. Her mother would often confide in her about her personal struggles and share her concerns about her father, as well as her worries about life in general. My friend often felt uneasy when her mother expressed her feelings for a long time. She empathized with her mother, felt sorry for her, and noticed that her own mood was affected, becoming irritable and helpless. She felt helpless to deal with the situation and experienced a deep sense of powerlessness.

I believe you may have heard a lot of this from your mother, which could be why you feel the way you do today.

[Regarding boundaries]

If you feel uncomfortable, it might be a good time to consider making a change. You can listen to your mother, you can also refuse appropriately, and you can even choose how long you want to listen. You can try to choose freely.

It is possible that if we become too close to our family and care about them too much, we may find ourselves becoming controlling.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider the following suggestion the next time you answer the phone: look at the time and, at the same time, look at your own feelings. With practice, you may learn to notice that those are your mother's emotions, not yours. After listening to your mother, you can then talk to yourself. Your mother's emotions are hers, and you can treat yourself as a friend of your mother, just listening, learning to see your own feelings.

With conscious training, you can gradually become stronger and more resilient. It's important to remember that we are all individuals with our own needs and boundaries. Even within close relationships like a mother-daughter bond, maintaining a sense of distance can be beneficial.

If I might make a few personal suggestions,

1: If your mother complains about the same thing again, you might gently but firmly let her know that she is starting to talk about the same thing again.

2: Perhaps it would be helpful to tell the mother what she is trying to say or solve by telling you this.

3: Perhaps it would be helpful to tell her honestly how you feel and explain that you've listened to her and are a little upset because you're worried.

4: Perhaps it would be helpful to ask your mother if she would be open to seeking the guidance of a counselor to address some of the more challenging psychological issues.

5: Perhaps it would be helpful to let your mother know that you care about her, but that you're not sure you're the right person to help her.

6: It may be the case that, previously, because there hasn't been much opportunity for discussion, many mothers assume that their children are willing to listen and are the most loyal "listeners".

It is therefore recommended that you try to communicate honestly with your daughter in order to find a solution to the problem and to maintain a good relationship with her.

[Mom's complaints]

It might be helpful to consider that behind her complaints, there are likely some unfulfilled concerns. As mentioned earlier, we all have a limited capacity to bear emotions, so it could be beneficial for her to explore counseling.

When our mother complains, it would be helpful to recognize her suffering and avoid enabling her tendency to "self-comfort" and numb herself.

It may be helpful to consider both external and internal factors when attempting to resolve a problem. If external factors are beyond our control, it may be beneficial to focus on addressing internal factors to the best of our ability.

For instance, if the questioner is unable to resolve her issues, it might be helpful for her to take a closer look at them from her own perspective. This could be an effective way to address the underlying issue.

Could I ask you to consider the reasons why your mother complains?

Could the stress of life and work over the years be a contributing factor?

In today's fast-paced world, it's not uncommon for mothers to face a multitude of pressures, both in their personal lives and in their professional careers. Many have taken on significant responsibilities from an early age, including pursuing education, starting careers, getting married, purchasing homes, buying vehicles, starting families, caring for their parents, and more. These responsibilities can often feel overwhelming, and the pressure seems to be mounting with each passing year. Additionally, many mothers are breadwinners for their families, which can lead to feelings of isolation and a lack of support within the home. They often have to navigate discrimination and competition in the workplace, as well as unfair treatment within their families. It's understandable that these challenges can lead to feelings of frustration and a desire to voice one's concerns.

2: Could I inquire as to whether mom and dad are getting along well?

In traditional Chinese families, fathers are often occupied with work outside the home, which can result in less attention being paid to family matters. This can leave mothers with the responsibility of handling household tasks and childcare on their own. When there is a perceived lack of attention from one partner, it can lead to feelings of neglect and frustration, which may result in complaints from the other spouse.

If prolonged complaining leads to increasingly discordant marital relations and a poor family atmosphere, it may be helpful to consider ways to improve the situation.

(The questioner may also wish to consider the relationship between mother and father and how it could be improved.)

3: It would be beneficial for mom to feel seen and loved by her family.

When my mother is sick, she tends to focus on her own feelings and discomfort, and may not fully consider my perspective or whether she's being heard.

Although it may be difficult for you, you can see that your mother may have been unfulfilled in this area. Please listen carefully, be patient, and tell her how hard it is for her, and that you care about her.

If it would be helpful, the father in the family could accompany the mother and listen to her.

Once she has finished talking, and she feels comfortable saying it once, it may also satisfy her desire to talk.

After listening patiently, you might consider suggesting that your mother could perhaps express her negative emotions in a different way in the future. She could try exercising, shopping, finding her own hobbies, reading, and gradually reducing the number of complaints until she stops complaining.

I hope the best for you.

I hope you know that I love you, and I hope you know that I'm here for you.

I hope my response proves helpful to you.

Indeed, when a mother consistently conveys negative messages, regardless of our own reactions, it can create a sense of discomfort. I want to extend a gesture of support and understanding, and I hope you can perceive some warmth and encouragement. As a daughter, I can particularly relate to your experience. If I encounter such a situation, I typically approach it in the following manner:

First, it is important to understand your mother's perspective. If she is able to discuss her feelings when she is unwell, it will also facilitate her recovery.

It has been observed that in situations where family members are generally supportive, they may be less forthcoming with their feelings. However, when faced with challenges, such as illness, they tend to seek comfort and assistance from others. This is because, as humans, we are naturally inclined to seek help when we are in a vulnerable state.

Furthermore, if the mother is able to confide in you, it will also have a positive impact on her physical and mental health. When she is able to express her concerns and distress, she will feel much better internally, and when she feels better internally, her body will naturally recover more quickly. Therefore, you are providing a significant benefit to your mother.

2. It is not necessary to agree with the negative information your mother is conveying, nor is it necessary to listen very intently. As long as you can listen quietly, it will provide her with a sense of security and will not involve you too much.

It is possible that we become irritated when we are too involved in listening to our mother's problems, which can be very draining. When our energy is depleted, our emotions will naturally be affected, and our emotional quotient will decrease. This can make it even more challenging to control our emotions.

It is not necessary to agree with the negative messages your mother is sending or to listen too intently. These are her emotions and sticking points. She is confiding in you, and it is possible that she does not want you to provide a solution, but rather just someone to talk to.

It is important to listen attentively and without becoming emotionally involved. As in psychological counseling, it is beneficial to empathize with your mother's feelings while maintaining a sense of detachment. This allows for a more effective and comfortable support system.

3. Furthermore, we can provide constructive guidance to our mothers and transfer some positive energy to them. This will not only facilitate their recovery but also establish a positive communication cycle.

After listening to some of my mother's concerns, I will first express my understanding and then attempt to redirect her negative perceptions and emotions. I will also help her consider alternative perspectives to improve her outlook.

Furthermore, demonstrating understanding, support, and care for her is an effective way to convey positive energy. For instance, you could suggest that she rest well, worry less, and focus on the positive aspects of life. It is also beneficial to review three positive experiences from the previous day before going to sleep each night. Affirming her value, acknowledging her challenges, and encouraging her to engage in activities she enjoys can also be effective. As you convey more positive energy, she will gradually become more positive as well.

4. It is recommended that you establish a regular time to communicate with or spend time with your mother. The remainder of your time should be allocated to activities that nourish you and surround you with things you like, which will boost your energy.

I typically designate a fixed time for communication with my mother. During that time, I am free from other concerns, which facilitates a more relaxed state of mind. In this state, it is easier to accept, even if I hear my mother express dissatisfaction.

It is therefore important to maintain a positive emotional state. To achieve this, it is necessary to engage in activities that nourish the mind and boost energy levels.

For example, you can engage in physical activity, participate in sports, and relax your body and mind. You can also cultivate flowers, which can naturally improve your mood. Additionally, you can read books that align with your interests, which can not only enhance your knowledge but also foster a sense of well-being. You can also engage in social interactions with positive individuals, as sharing and receiving support can have a beneficial impact. Furthermore, you can pursue activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Prioritizing self-care and nourishing activities can also contribute to an improved state of mind. When you are surrounded by positive influences and things that bring you joy, your overall well-being tends to flourish. Even when faced with challenges, you may find it easier to remain calm and offer guidance to others in a constructive manner.

Thank you for your attention. I hope these suggestions are helpful. Best regards,

Hello, question asker.

Given your difficulty empathizing with your mother, despite her patience, it seems you've become overly absorbed in your own feelings, making it challenging to extricate yourself. As a child, you felt overwhelmed and sought to avoid her. There's wisdom in the old saying that no filial son can stay by a sickbed for too long. Everyone has a psychological limit to what they can bear.

It seems like the questioner still has a close connection with her mother, even though her mother has been acting differently recently. It's possible that she hasn't been able to establish a particularly close connection with her mother since she was a child. Her mother's reaction is obviously a sign of a lack of attention from the family. With such unstable emotions and an immature mentality, I don't think the questioner's mother was able to give her enough care and attention as she was growing up. I think the fact that the questioner was able to come to the Yi Xinli platform to ask a question is an opportunity for change. She can start with this incident and explore her own heart.

I highly recommend the book Neglected Children. It lists 12 types of families that may result in emotional neglect, as well as maladaptive reactions in children who experienced emotional neglect in their childhood and grew up. There are no perfect parents in the world, nor is there a perfect childhood. Mom's behavior may have originated from the trauma of her own family of origin. Perhaps mom unintentionally passed on this emotional neglect from generation to generation. Now it has come to you, and in the future you will also become a parent. Perhaps you can cut off this misfortune here through self-awareness.

I'm Zhang Huili, a psychological counselor. I hope my answer helps. Please keep talking about your confusion and feelings and keep exploring yourself.

From your description, it is evident that you have an anxious mother. In your relationship with her, you previously exhibited tolerance, but now that you are an adult, you desire to disengage. However, due to the established relationship pattern, you are unable to express this desire, resulting in a state of internal conflict.

As a psychological counselor, I would like to offer my understanding from a psychological perspective.

Firstly, it is important to recognise that your mother's illness and anxiety are themselves states of illness. It is likely that she will be anxious to discuss this with you. However, you have not mentioned your father, and it is possible that his absence is also a cause of your mother's anxiety. As a sensible and obedient child, your mother may find comfort in confiding in you, as this will relieve her anxiety. However, you have been listening all along, yet now you are unwilling to listen. You have emotions inside, but if you are aware of your mother's state, your listening can relieve her anxiety, which is a more beneficial approach than taking medication. What will you do?

Secondly, it is not possible to cope with anxiety without external assistance. It is therefore necessary to identify ways of releasing this distress, which may include seeking the support of friends, a psychotherapist, or engaging in alternative activities such as exercise, listening to music, reading, and so on. This process of inner growth requires practice.

Secondly, with regard to the mother, it may be the case that her personality traits render her unable to cope with her emotions, leading her to externalise them in order to relieve the distress. It may be beneficial to assist the mother in seeking professional help, such as a hospital assessment of her anxiety level. Should this be found to be moderate or severe, it may be necessary to prescribe medication and arrange psychotherapy. This approach relies on the use of medicine to help the mother to relieve her symptoms, rather than resorting to unsubstantiated accusations of selfishness, the release of negative emotions, and a lack of consideration for the feelings of others.

Thirdly, as one matures, it is essential to cultivate one's own personal space to foster intimate relationships. It is crucial to learn to express one's emotions, convey discomfort with one's mother's persistent criticism, and engage one's father in the process. It is beneficial to examine the communication patterns between one's parents, initiate and adjust the relationship between one's parents, and utilize scientific family therapy to assist one's mother in modifying family relationship patterns, thereby enhancing the quality of interactions between family members and the flow of relationships.

It is encouraging to observe your willingness to seek assistance. Articulating your inner needs in verbal form is an essential step in obtaining external support and guidance. By expressing yourself, you create opportunities for others to offer assistance and support from diverse perspectives. It is crucial to recognize that the world and I love you, and to foster self-love in order to cultivate a capacity to love your mother and family.

Persevere!

Hello! I'm a Heart Detective coach, and I'm here to help. It seems like you're feeling a bit annoyed and unhappy when you talk to your mother.

Your sweet mother is going through a tough time, and when she's on the phone or in person, she tends to focus on how she's feeling and how uncomfortable she is. It's understandable that you might not want to listen to her rambling on about it, but try to remember that she's just trying to express herself.

I can see that you're not too keen on the way your mother behaves when she's around. It's totally understandable! We all have our own preferences when it comes to spending time with our loved ones. It seems like she always sends negative messages, which is a shame. It's natural to want to avoid people who make us feel bad.

1. About empathy

I can see that you don't like the way your mother behaves when she's around you. It must be so tiring for you when she only thinks and feels about herself, while ignoring your thoughts and feelings.

It's totally understandable that you don't want to spend time with her. It can feel like you're not being noticed or needed when you're with her, like you don't really exist in the relationship. And it's so hard to accept all those negative influences from her.

It's so hard when our loved ones don't seem to be listening to us. Is this related to her illness? Has your mother's illness been treated?

Your mom might just need a friend and someone to listen to her, not necessarily your advice. When she's lost in her own thoughts and feelings, she might not be able to focus on you. If this isn't caused by illness, it could just mean that her empathy is a bit limited.

Empathy is a beautiful thing. It's the ability to temporarily set aside your own thoughts and feelings, put yourself in another person's shoes, and experience their thoughts and feelings.

2. Nonviolent communication

What can you do, dear questioner? You can express your needs to your mother and let her know your thoughts and needs. You can use non-violent communication, which is a very suitable form of communication in intimate relationships.

1⃣️Let's talk about what you've noticed, sweetie.

2⃣️ Be open and honest about how you're feeling.

3⃣️ Let your mom know what you need, even if it's behind your thoughts and feelings.

4⃣️ Make your request to your mother.

Let me give you an example. This may not necessarily fit the actual situation of the questioner, but the questioner can adjust the communication method according to their own situation.

1⃣️Mom, I hope you don't mind me interrupting. I've noticed that you tend to talk a lot without really paying attention to how it makes me feel. I'd really appreciate it if you could try to be a bit more mindful of my feelings and thoughts.

2⃣️I'm a little bummed that you don't seem to notice my reactions. It makes me feel a bit neglected. I get the feeling you value yourself more than me. When you say those negative things, it makes me feel down and anxious.

3⃣️I need your love and attention, too! I need you to pay attention to my thoughts and feelings.

4⃣️Mom, I really hope that in the future, when you speak, you will pay attention to my reactions and let me respond as well. I would also appreciate it if you didn't tell me so much negative information, as it might have a bad psychological impact on me.

"Nonviolent Communication" is a wonderful book by Marshall B. Rosenberg. It's a great resource for anyone looking to learn how to express their inner world.

3. It's okay to have different topics in intimate relationships!

It's totally okay for your mom to nag, even if you don't listen or give feedback. You're not responsible for her behavior, and she's not responsible for yours.

Psychologist Adler talks about something called "subject separation." It basically means that whoever is affected by something is responsible for it and has to deal with it. No one else has the right to get involved.

Simply put, you take care of your business and I'll take care of mine.

It's so important to have a sense of boundaries in any relationship. That way, you can all get along better! The questioner needs to establish their own boundaries to feel more satisfied and comfortable in the relationship.

If you'd like to chat some more, just click below to find a coach to interpret, choose a heart exploration chat partner, and communicate with me one-on-one. I'm here to help!