It's been about two and a half years abroad, and I really don't think I can stay any longer.

Dear questioner,

I'm Kelly.

Your words show me your mood. I understand you.

Loneliness in a strange land.

You went abroad after high school, during the epidemic. You were alone for two and a half years. You are brave, hard-working, and persevering.

Your family asked you to go abroad for work. You agreed. You went abroad to learn more about yourself. In reality, there will still be some differences, especially the distance from friends and family. It is normal to feel emotional.

If it weren't for the pandemic, you should be able to make friends at school or join activities to help you feel less lonely.

If you can make friends, try to go out and join in with social activities. Everyone needs friends. Use your outgoing personality to make friends.

You don't want to go out or stay at home. How long has this been going on?

Do you not want to learn? Could you take more online classes?

Do you have time to study at home or go to school?

If the questioner is uninterested and unwilling to go out, they can seek help from a school counselor. Open up and communicate with the counselor, or find a local counselor to listen to their advice.

I've heard that many online courses abroad are well-taught and flexible.

If you get a diploma, you'll thank yourself one day. I've been to other countries, so I understand how you feel.

[About your sense of guilt]

The questioner is kind and happy for your parents to have you, but I also believe that they love you.

If the questioner can make some changes, make friends, and get help from teachers, it might be different.

Can't talk to parents right now.

The pressure on you to bear it all alone is too great. You should talk to your family. If you can't bear your emotions, you'll develop psychological problems.

Your parents want you to be happy. If they know you are unhappy, they will be sad for you. When you went abroad to study, your parents must have thought about whether they could support you. You are not just going to study there for fun, so you can live in the present with peace of mind.

You're at your best when you're healthy and happy.

If you want to go back to China, you have your own ideas and goals, and you can communicate well with your parents. Think about your situation and maybe your parents will understand you.

Finally, a few suggestions:

1: See a counselor to help you cope.

2: Talk to your parents. Let them understand you. Believe in your parents and yourself. Your family will find a solution.

3: Talk about your stress. Keep an emotional diary. If you can relax, you'll see your future options.

Good luck!

I love you, world.

Sweetheart, you're doing an amazing job! It's already quite difficult for you to be in a foreign country, where you need to integrate into the environment, with many different living habits and ways of speaking. It's really hard, like starting from scratch! But you're doing it! I give you a big hug!

1. You've spent the past two and a half years adapting to a new environment, which is no easy feat! You also had to take online classes for a long time during the pandemic. So don't be too hard on yourself and just relax a little!

It can be tough to stay in, but there's so much to gain from connecting with others! I'd highly recommend reaching out to some Chinese friends in your area and joining the Chinese community at school. It'll be a great way to meet new people and make your time at school more vibrant!

And there's more! Start with improving your diet. Cook something delicious together. Your mood will skyrocket!

3. Two and a half years have passed, and there isn't much time left. If you can, hang in there and persevere! You'll be so happy you did when you finish your studies.

4. Learn some amazing methods of psychological relaxation and regulation, do some awesome exercise, practice incredible yoga, meditate, etc. Then you can also try some popular activities that are relatively rare in China but more common abroad, even if they are community activities. Meeting other people is also a great idea!

5. If it's appropriate, absolutely develop a relationship! You can rely on each other and find relief in each other's company. Striving together as a couple will always feel more hopeful.

6. The great thing is, it's not always good news and no bad news! You can even tell your parents about your playful complaints in a casual chat.

I'm sending you all my best wishes! And a big hug for you!

Hello, question asker!

I am He Lanhua, a psychological counselor, and I am delighted to answer your questions.

First, I'll give you a warm hug from afar.

From your description, it's clear you're currently struggling. You're under a lot of pressure, blaming yourself, feeling anxious, and feeling helpless. You left your parents behind to study abroad after high school, and it's tough to study and live independently in a foreign country for two and a half years. You've done an excellent job!

You need to figure out if you're staying abroad because of academic pressure or if there are other reasons.

Seek help from the people around you.

You should talk to your teachers at school about your worries. They can help you with your studies.

You should try some methods to adjust your state of mind.

Take care of yourself when you are alone.

You said you've become less outgoing since living abroad. You're staying home and avoiding socializing with friends. Is it because you're not used to it here and not adapting well?

You miss your family and friends in China. You don't socialize or hang out with friends, and you stay alone at home. Do something you like, like draw or listen to music, to make yourself feel better.

You can't bear the pressure alone.

You want to go back to your home country, but you also feel you should stay because your parents have worked hard to support you through your studies. You feel you shouldn't even be thinking about going back, but you also feel that it would be very difficult to stay here. You feel very uncomfortable and under a lot of pressure. You don't want to let your parents down, so you are bearing this pressure all by yourself, which is very difficult.

You empathize with your parents and are a very sensible child.

You're afraid to be honest with your family when you call. Every time you call, you tell your parents that you're doing fine. You're a sensible child who will think of your parents.

You know you don't want to stay abroad. I don't know the specifics, but I understand you. You've faced problems you can't handle alone.

Tell me, are you feeling conflicted and helpless?

You need to express your emotions and seek help.

I'm going to give you a few tips.

1. [⭐️ Empathize with others while also empathizing with yourself]

You empathize with your parents, who worked hard to send you to study abroad and hope you will achieve something. But you don't empathize with your emotions. You are stressed and confused, and you know you can't face it alone.

2. [⭐️ Express your needs]

❶ Share your feelings with your good friends. They can give you advice.

❷You should share your confusion with your teachers and ask for help.

Teachers are more experienced and will be happy to help you.

❸ Share your true feelings and needs with your parents. Listen to their thoughts and opinions.

You need to talk about it. It will feel better than bearing the pressure alone. They are worried about you, but they don't know your true state and needs.

3. [⭐️ Self-regulation]

Go for a walk, play a ball game, or do some exercise. These activities relieve stress. Get in touch with nature more often. Feel the beauty of nature and release your mood.

❷Make time to hang out with friends. It's important to relax while studying. Get the right balance of work and rest.

❸ Free writing

Free writing is an effective method for processing confusion and worries, and for organizing thoughts and problems. It can help us clarify our thinking.

❹Do meditation/mindfulness meditation.

You should do mindfulness meditation every day.

Mindfulness meditation is an effective method for self-regulation, relaxation, stress relief, and anxiety reduction. Additionally, listening to meditation music before bed can promote better sleep.

These are my tips. They'll help.

If you want to share, call me. I'm here for you.

Come on! The world and I love you!