I've been single for a long time, and my family is pressuring me to go on blind dates. I'm a little afraid of falling in love, what should I do?

Hello, question asker! I am a Heart Detective coach, and I'm here to help! Don't be arrogant and don't look for it.

I can see the challenges you're facing on the platform. It's clear you're ready for love! You've said you don't have the right person yet, and your family is encouraging you to set up blind dates. They're excited for you to find love and want you to move out and live on your own. You've always been a bit reluctant, though, and you've turned down the blind dates your family has set up for you. They're just looking out for your best interests, but you're feeling the pressure. You're afraid of falling in love and aren't ready to have someone else to care about you. But you're ready to welcome a new family into your life! You're already handling a lot at work, and now you have to deal with the pressure of marriage. It's a lot, but you've got this!

After reading your description of the problems you're facing, I can see how much pressure you're under. I can also feel how troubled you are, but I know you can get through this! Relationships are your own personal matter, but your family is pushing you to do it their way, which is leaving you no way to live a peaceful life. You either have to fall in love as soon as possible, or move out and live on your own. Either choice should be difficult for you right now, otherwise you wouldn't be so torn up. How can you adjust your mood?

Let me help you analyze and sort things out!

1. You originally resisted falling in love, but your family members care about you and want to see you happy. They're starting from a place of love and well-being, but they may not fully understand your true wishes. It can feel overwhelming when you're faced with such pressure. But you can try to [honestly accept your emotions] and allow yourself to stay with all your bad emotions for a while. Give yourself time to process and feel whatever you're feeling.

2. To "positively adjust your state of mind," you must first calmly and rationally analyze the underlying reasons. You mentioned that you are unwilling to accept the matchmaking arranged by your family mainly because you are very resistant to dating. Have you analyzed the real reason for your resistance to dating? Is it more psychological or physical?

Could it be related to your childhood experiences? Or have you experienced something particularly amazing?

If you are very resistant to dating, it may be because of psychological problems. Either you are instinctively resistant to dating because you have been hurt emotionally, but you have been single for a long time, so this is unlikely. Or you may feel that dating is too much trouble, with all the gifts you have to prepare for various holidays. Or you really feel from the bottom of your heart that you are not ready, and are afraid that you will not be able to handle the relationship. But there's no need to worry! There are plenty of ways to make dating more appealing and easier to handle.

Embrace the challenge! The more you avoid contact, the more you resist and avoid the problem. It is better to [face your own problems] and slowly find ways to improve. You should pay more attention in your daily life, take the opportunity to go out more, meet more like-minded friends, don't stay alone all day, go out more, go to places you like, participate in more activities, meet more new people, communicate more with the opposite sex, slowly exercise yourself, and promptly detect changes in your emotions to see if you will still be so resistant and resentful of dating.

4. Your family also needs to find a way to change their minds. [Establishing effective communication] may be a great way to start! Have you told them your true thoughts? If not, you might want to choose to trust them and find an opportunity to tell your family your true demands. It is more important to gain their understanding and support than anything else. Refusing to say anything in silence will make you all feel very uncomfortable. It is better to face it all frankly, which is also a sign of your responsibility to yourself!

5. If you have a serious resistance to falling in love and it is difficult for you to adjust on your own, it is best to seek professional help and go to an authoritative psychologist to diagnose the cause of your problem and help you get out of your predicament as soon as possible. It's also about timing when it comes to falling in love. The older you are, the greater the psychological and social pressures you will face. So you'd better get yourself in a good state as soon as possible and welcome your happiness!

I really hope my answer helps you! If you want to keep chatting, just click on "Find a coach" in the bottom right corner. I'd love to talk to you one-on-one! Wishing you the best!

Greetings.

Embrace the individual in a supportive manner and demonstrate an understanding of their emotional state at this juncture.

After a thorough examination of the questionnaire, I am confronted with considerable internal pressure due to the pervasive societal expectation of hastening the process of marriage. I exhibit a notable lack of confidence, limited experience in romantic relationships, apprehension about the prospect of forming an intimate bond, and a pervasive sense of trepidation.

In contemporary society, where free love has long been a reality, parents in ordinary families of all sizes still control and hold the right to "their children's marriage." While they do not completely have the deciding power, they still use other indirect "means" to achieve their inner desires. This traditional thinking, which is followed by social expectations, binds their perception. The ultimate goal for parents remains "having children and grandchildren."

It is therefore unsurprising that difficulties emerge.

In the contemporary era, marked by advancements in living standards and civilization, our lifestyles have undergone profound transformations. The era when individuals were unable to sustain themselves without adequate food has given way to a reality where individuals can live entirely "self-sufficient" lives. This shift has created opportunities for the younger generation to contemplate intimate relationships with greater autonomy.

Consequently, there are individuals who either refrain from marriage or delay it until later in life. Parents who are unable to comprehend this phenomenon experience a sense of distress, apprehension, and anxiety. They are reluctant to deviate from their established support structures and risk being abandoned by their children, who may then be left without the necessary support and guidance. Some individuals are constrained by social and traditional norms and are hesitant to deviate from them, inadvertently imposing these same norms on their children.

In light of the above, it becomes evident that the terms "leftover women" or "leftover men" were in fact coined under the influence of societal pressures, which can effectively exert pressure and urge.

Therefore, in comparison to men, women are positioned as a vulnerable group in the future when their youthful age weakens and their financial ability is not adequately guaranteed. The concept of vulnerability is associated with the idea of submission, and this has become a fundamental aspect of survival for individuals with immature perspectives.

Although parents may unwittingly impose their views and methods on their children, parents must nevertheless reflect on their actions and assume responsibility for them. With regard to personal responsibility, however, individuals should also consider their own role in shaping their future. Only by taking responsibility for one's own life can one build a firm foundation for the future.

1. Cultivate the capacity to love and express love.

Individuals who assert a lack of desire for intimacy often exhibit two underlying emotional states. The first is a conscious decision, driven by the recognition that they are currently uninterested in forming close emotional bonds. This is often accompanied by a sense of emotional stability, open-mindedness, and receptivity to new ideas and concepts. The second is a defensive stance, characterised by a fear of intimacy and a reluctance to engage in the emotional intimacy of marriage. This defensive stance is often shaped by unresolved trauma.

If the questioner is of the first type, they can undoubtedly act according to their own ideas at the moment and need not concern themselves unduly with their parents' thoughts, given their maturity of mind. However, if they are of the latter type, they must learn to open their hearts. They must understand that while we can reject unhealthy relationships, we cannot close our hearts and block ourselves from expressing ourselves, as this will ultimately impair our capacity to love and express ourselves.

2. It is important to learn to live with pressure and to respect one's parents' opinions.

It is not possible to open a pressure cooker with high internal pressure, regardless of circumstances, because there is no space for the pressure to escape. However, once some of the gas has been released, it is relatively straightforward to open the cooker.

The same can be said of the pressures associated with life, parental expectations, and the demands of work. These pressures may initially appear overwhelming, but if we first acknowledge their objective existence and demonstrate a degree of understanding, while simultaneously learning to relax, we may find that the pressure is not as insurmountable as we previously imagined. However, when we are under significant pressure ourselves, it can be challenging to think calmly, which in turn can impair our ability to problem-solve effectively. This can lead to feelings of insecurity and a lack of confidence in our ability to cope with these challenges.

3. It is advisable to engage in activities that will distract oneself from the stress in order to learn to live with it.

If one were to compose a lengthy essay and then discover that it had been erased due to a failure to save it, would one simply remain in a state of passive lamentation or would one instead seize the opportunity to commence planning immediately?

It is my contention that the astute individual will promptly rewrite the article to achieve greater satisfaction. The pressure that life exerts is such that if we persist in giving it our attention and strength, it will inevitably become a dominant force in our lives. However, life is our own, and we must reclaim the right to take the initiative in our lives. This entails that, after we have taken a stand, we should allow ourselves to be free from the influence of parents or external parties who offer negative commentary.

Although it may appear to be a counterproductive strategy, self-distraction can be an effective means of accumulating strength and preparing for new endeavors. The crucial element is to cultivate a sense of self-belief and the capacity to live a life of one's own design.

I extend my best wishes and wishes for success to you.

Good day!

As a heart exploration coach, I believe that learning is a valuable process that can bring immense joy and fulfillment to our lives.

From what you have told me, I can sense your inner anxiety, worry, fear, pain, and helplessness.

I won't delve into the specifics of the challenges you've faced with your family's expectations of you attending blind dates. However, I would like to offer three suggestions for your consideration:

If I might make a suggestion, it would be to consider why you are a little afraid of falling in love.

It may be helpful to consider why you are afraid of falling in love so that you can gradually resolve it. You might also think back to when you started to be afraid of falling in love, and what happened at that time.

For instance, if you have observed others in your vicinity experiencing distress in romantic relationships, you may be concerned about the potential for similar difficulties in your own life. Similarly, if you have witnessed your parents' relationship as being somewhat challenging, or if you perceive a lack of harmony in your own family, you might feel apprehensive about the prospect of navigating the complexities of marriage.

Once you have identified the reason, you may then be in a position to decide on the best course of action.

Secondly, it might be helpful to take some time to think about the reasons why you are afraid of falling in love.

It might be helpful to consider the reasons rationally, as this could help you gain a better understanding of yourself and the situation.

If you wish to adopt a rational approach, you might consider doing the following two things:

It might be helpful to remember that you are not the same person you were before, and that you are also different from other people.

If you are afraid of falling in love because you think you may not be able to handle it, or because you have been hurt in the past, it might help to remind yourself that you are different from who you were before. You have grown up, experienced things, gained experience, and grown.

If you are hesitant about entering into an intimate relationship because you observe that the people around you are not as happy in their relationships as you would like, it is important to remember that you are an individual with your own unique circumstances. Just because they may be struggling or their marriage is not as happy as they would like, it does not mean that you are the same.

Secondly, it is important to recognise that the status quo can be altered if you are willing to make changes.

When you take the initiative to change your own mindset, you may find that your feelings about love and marriage also change. It can be helpful to focus on your own strengths, remind yourself of your capabilities, and recognize the potential of time to bring about positive changes.

If I might make one more suggestion, it would be to focus on yourself and consider what you can do to feel better.

You might consider talking to trusted people around you, including parents and counselors, about your inner worries and fears. This could be a beneficial step, as once negative emotions flow, they have a healing effect. At the same time, they may also be able to provide you with some support, understanding, and advice, which could help to improve your situation.

You might also consider observing the people around you who you believe are capable of handling relationships or have the capacity to love. By doing so, you may be able to learn from their experiences. Reading books about relationships, such as "Intimacy," could also be beneficial. It may help you feel more confident and in a better mood.

You might also consider meeting guys in a way that allows you to take things one step at a time. This could help you to overcome your initial hesitations and gain a better understanding of what it means to fall in love. Learning to fall in love is often a skill that is acquired through experience, which can help to boost your confidence.

When you are afraid and anxious, you might consider looking more at your own strengths and encouraging yourself more. This could help you feel more confident in yourself and understand that you deserve to be loved, which might in turn help you feel better. In short, it might be helpful for you to know that you can do something to improve the situation.

When you take action, you may find that the various negative emotions in your heart naturally dissolve over time. Sometimes, action can be an effective way to overcome these emotions.

I hope my answer is helpful to you. If you would like to communicate further, you are welcome to click on "Find a coach to interpret – online dialogue" at the bottom, and I will be happy to communicate with you one-on-one.

Hi, I'm Jialan.

Happy Lantern Festival!

After reading your story, I want to share some ideas that might help.

We're the same generation. My younger brother and sister were born in 1997.

We aren't married yet. Many people don't want to get married these days.

My friend was born in the 1980s and still doesn't want to fall in love or get married.

I have a friend from 1997 who has always resisted falling in love and getting married. Last year, she came home for the National Day holiday. I chatted with a mother of a young child about the idea of introductions. We got together and became a couple. She is not currently talking about marriage, but she agreed to go on a blind date with us.

I want to share this story with you because I want to share that we don't want to fall in love or get married right now. We just want to be happy, so we'll accept the way things are. But we also have to accept our parents' needs and show them that we understand. When we understand and respond positively, they will learn to understand us.

Second, we can feel a voice in our hearts when we resist. What is the reason? What are we afraid of?

If love is sweet, what about marriage? We can figure it out. When we understand, it's better to accept and face it with ease and joy.

We need an outlet to express ourselves, find the source of our anxiety, and resolve it. We can adjust ourselves, share on a psychological platform, or seek professional advice.

Happy New Year!

Greetings.

From your inquiry, it appears that the pressure to marry has caused you significant distress and anxiety. It is evident that you lack experience in relationships, which has led to feelings of trepidation and uncertainty about entering an intimate partnership. I empathize with your situation.

Indeed, the prospect of entering into an intimate relationship may evoke feelings of apprehension or uncertainty. This could be attributed to a lack of confidence in oneself, coupled with the perception that solitude is a preferable state, and the potential for discomfort or negative emotions when sharing one's life with another individual. Consequently, the idea of entering into such a relationship may be met with trepidation.

It is my recommendation that:

[1] It is essential to cultivate an awareness of one's emotional state and to identify the underlying reasons for these feelings.

Anxiety may be experienced on occasion, potentially due to concerns about the unknown. This apprehension may stem from a fear of being controlled by a relationship or of exerting control over others. Understanding the underlying causes of these emotions can facilitate the adjustment of one's mental state.

[2] Enhance your personal growth and affirm your intrinsic value.

Prior to entering into an intimate relationship, it is essential to possess a sufficient degree of self-confidence and an awareness that each individual is deserving of love and respect. Regardless of whether one is in a relationship or not, it is vital to practice self-love, self-assurance, and to maintain a clear and objective perspective in order to avoid becoming vulnerable to emotional distress and to prevent the onset of an anxious state.

[3] Provide a summary of your standards for a partner and your understanding of relationships.

As an illustration, one may record on paper the type of partner desired and the nature of the relationship sought, and then pursue a relationship that aligns with these specifications. Concurrently, it is possible to conduct some screening and rejection of certain individuals to establish clear boundaries, and then identify the specific qualities desired in a partner to facilitate the active development of a relationship.

I extend my best wishes to you.

From what you have shared, it seems that you are feeling somewhat uncertain about your parents' desire for you to get married. Perhaps it would be helpful to take a moment to reflect on the reasons behind your parents' wishes in this regard.

It is worth noting that parents urging their children to get married is a common phenomenon, and one that is also prevalent in China. It is important to approach this issue with a positive mental attitude.

First, it would be helpful to view our parents' urging us to get married in the right light.

It is important to recognize that parents who urge their children to get married may not necessarily be doing so because they want their children to get married. Rather, it is often because they are worried about their children's marriage.

Many parents express concern about their children's marriage because they worry about their children's happiness. This concern often leads parents to encourage their children to get married, with the hope that it will bring them happiness.

It may be helpful to remember that their main concern is simply for their children to get married and have children as soon as possible.

If we were to eliminate all these concerns, it would naturally help to resolve the issue of parents urging for marriage.

Secondly, when faced with your parents' expectations regarding marriage, it is important to first understand the underlying motivation behind this pressure.

(1) It is to let you get married early and fulfill your parents' wishes.

(2) It is to improve your quality of life.

(3) They are hoping that you will have better living conditions.

It is important to remember that when we are faced with our parents' expectations regarding marriage, the first thing we need to do is to be clear that their pressure is not meant to make us unhappy. Rather, they are simply hoping that we can fulfill their wishes before getting married.

When faced with pressure to get married, it might be helpful to consider responding in a way that is more nuanced than simply refusing and avoiding the issue. Instead, it could be valuable to first reflect on which of the two options—either "I don't want to get married" or "I want to be with that person"—is the one that truly aligns with your personal desires and choices.

3. From the perspective of our parents, the marriage of their children is often seen as a priority.

It is not uncommon for parents to encourage their children to get married, often placing their children's needs above their own. In many families, children are considered the most important aspect, with other considerations often taking a backseat.

It is therefore understandable that when their children reach marriageable age, parents will try every means to urge their children to find a partner and get married. Indeed, many marriages also stem from this kind of thinking on the part of parents.

It is therefore possible to view parents urging their children to get married as a form of responsibility towards their children.

However, some parents do not feel it is their responsibility to push their children to get married and have children, and would prefer to spend more time and energy on their children.

Fourthly, if you feel that your love does not necessarily require the institution of marriage or the bringing up of children.

It might be helpful to consider that if you don't get married, you may not have children.

If you do wish to get married, it would be helpful to find someone to make the plans.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider whether staying with someone necessarily implies getting married.

It would be interesting to speculate how long your marriage might last.

When you realize that you and your partner are not right for each other, it is important to remain calm and think clearly.

5. The question of whether to marry for love or not is a relatively minor issue.

Some people may lose faith in love because of unworthy people or things. Parents often encourage their children to consider marriage, hoping that they will find their other halves as soon as possible.

In this regard, I believe that while parents can encourage their children to marry, they should respect their children's freedom to make their own choices.

It is possible to fall in love, but it is also important to be aware of any obstacles that may be present in your heart. In this regard, I can fully understand my parents' feelings.

It would be wise to be prepared mentally to face any pressure from our family to get married.

First, it would be helpful to try to understand the reasons why our parents are pushing us to get married. Then, we can take targeted measures.

Next, it would be beneficial for us to communicate with our parents in a more active manner. If they still cannot understand and accept our point of view, it might be helpful for us to consider taking action.

If our parents are still not satisfied with us, it might be helpful to consider changing our attitude and communicating more with them.

It is also important to remember that there is no need to feel embarrassed when others urge you to get married.

Some people may feel a bit embarrassed to ask others to hurry up their marriage or to express their feelings. This is a very normal psychological phenomenon. As long as you don't avoid it and pay attention to it, there will be no problem.

7. While parents may be anxious about marriage, it is important to ensure that their concerns do not unduly influence our decisions.

It is not necessarily the case that you should get married just because you meet the right person. Marriage is actually a lifelong commitment, and if you never get married, that is also a valid option.

If your parents are encouraging you to postpone marriage, you may wish to consider this decision at a later stage. It is important to remember that you have the right to make your own choices and to lead your life in a way that is happy and fulfilling.

Good morning, I hope this message finds you well. I am writing in response to your recent query. Kind regards, [Name]

I believe that many young people have encountered a similar dilemma.

You have not yet reached the point of readiness for a relationship. Additionally, you are experiencing pressure from your family, and the prospect of work and marriage is causing you anxiety.

I would be pleased to assist you further and hope that you will find this information useful.

1. Prioritize your needs and gain self-awareness.

Have you ever considered the reasons behind your status as a single mother?

You stated, "I'm a little afraid of falling in love and don't want to have someone to worry about." Could you please elaborate on what you mean by "worrying"?

Is it a lack of freedom, or is there another reason?

Have you ever considered the advantages of being in a relationship?

At times, our hesitancy to embark on a romantic relationship may stem from our deeply held beliefs.

For instance, you have indicated that you do not wish to have a partner who causes you concern.

Is it burdensome to have someone to care about?

It is important to note that having someone to care about is a blessing for many people.

Similarly, individuals who remain single as their parents age may experience feelings of anxiety, fear, and loneliness.

It is therefore advisable to consider an issue from multiple perspectives.

Furthermore, we can evaluate our past perceptions of romantic relationships.

Some parents are concerned about their children forming romantic attachments too early in life, which often results in children choosing to remain single until they reach adulthood.

This is the model we have selected.

At that time, we were regarded as model students by our educators and parents, which had a positive impact on our development. This shaped our perceptions and gradually became our core beliefs.

For instance, there may be a concern about the potential for falling in love.

It is often overlooked that we are in a state of flux.

This is not an appropriate fit for our current circumstances.

This is a common challenge faced by many families.

During adolescence, the inclination towards romantic attachment was repressed. Now that we have reached adulthood, we lack the psychological preparedness to engage in such a relationship, and we are being encouraged to enter into matrimony.

It is essential to gain a deeper understanding of ourselves.

For instance, if your current workload is causing you stress and you lack the capacity to engage in a relationship and marriage, you may require additional time to prepare. Concurrently, you should also maintain an open mind.

As an alternative to avoidance due to fear,

2. Strive to become an independent individual.

You stated, "My family has informed me that if I am unable to secure a boyfriend within the next year, I will be required to relocate independently. I am aware that their intention is to provide guidance, but the pressure they are exerting is overwhelming."

This type of situation is not uncommon in many families.

I would like to take this opportunity to share with you:

It is necessary to distinguish between the various issues.

As an example, the family would like you to fall in love and get married, but this is a personal decision.

Furthermore, the decision of whether or not to fall in love is your responsibility.

This appears to be a case of parental coercion.

Such actions result in a lack of autonomy and independent decision-making.

I suspect that you have always been a relatively obedient child.

You may be inclined to believe that this is the optimal course of action.

It is important to remember that we are no longer children.

Each individual has the right to determine the course of their own life.

For example, determining the optimal timing for romantic relationships and marriage.

How should we proceed when faced with such dilemmas?

It is important to note that family members often have their own ideas and perspectives, which may or may not be incorrect.

We have our own needs, and this is an ideal time to learn to be independent.

Independence is defined as the ability to satisfy one's psychological and practical needs through one's own efforts.

The objective is not to change our parents, but rather to modify our own reaction patterns.

Envision a scenario in which you are financially, mentally, and emotionally independent.

As a result, we may be content to relocate independently and pursue our own endeavors. We can then take responsibility for our own well-being.

It should be noted that this is not a straightforward process.

It is also possible to envisage a scenario in which independence is retained even in the absence of a move.

I am able to communicate with my family.

For example, residing at home offers numerous advantages, including the opportunity to spend time with family.

It is possible to express your needs in a calm and measured manner.

For instance, I am still in the process of acclimating to my new position and am experiencing some anxiety as a result. Before I can consider pursuing a relationship, I need to ensure that I have sufficient capacity to do so.

I have my own plans and would prefer not to have my parents involved in my personal affairs.

If you reside at your parents' residence, consider contributing towards their housing costs. This can enhance your autonomy and influence within the family unit.

It should be noted that different families have different needs and circumstances.

As a minimum, you should consider alternative solutions rather than allowing your current approach to become self-defeating.

Furthermore, it would be beneficial to re-examine work and marriage.

There are methods to align your work with your expectations or preferences and mitigate your anxiety.

Similarly, marriage can be a source of concern, but it does not have to be a significant burden. It can also be a pathway to happiness.

It is therefore essential to focus on developing our independence and pursuing personal growth.

Happiness is always within your control.

Thank you for your interest. If you would like to learn more, we invite you to read our publication, "The Terrific Me."

If you are interested, you may wish to read "The Terrific Me."

I wish you the best of luck.

Hello! From your text description, I can feel your anxiety and helplessness about the current problems you are facing. I have a little bit of my own opinion to share with you, and I really hope it will be helpful!

[As I get older, my family is starting to pressure me to go on a

As I get older, my family is starting to pressure me to go on blind dates, and I have always refused. At the same time, they have told me that if I don't fall in love within the year, I will have to move out on my own, which is a great motivator!

As we get older, it goes without saying that the questioner, who has always been a solo person, will be pressured to get married. Even people in a stable relationship will inevitably face pressure. This is an unavoidable part of traditional family relationships. To put it bluntly, most people will be pressured. So if you can look at this issue from a different perspective and don't resist for the sake of resistance, you may feel more comfortable.

The good news is that you are already making strides towards independence! You have started working, have an income, and have the basic financial foundation for independence. In principle, you are ready to start living independently.

The book "The Gardener and the Carpenter" discusses the fascinating paradox of love in parenting. It highlights the intriguing tension between dependence and independence. Parents have the incredible opportunity to nurture a baby who depends on them while also guiding them towards becoming a fully independent adult. You, on the other hand, are already an adult. If your parents can still say things like "If you haven't fallen in love within the year, I'll make you move out on your own," then I think you have the exciting chance to reflect on your own situation in terms of independence.

I'm not ready to welcome a new family, and I'm a little afraid of falling in love because I don't want to have someone to worry about.

I must admit, I am a little afraid of falling in love. I don't want to have someone to worry about around me, and I'm not ready to welcome a new family. But I'm excited to see what the future holds!

To be honest, seeing that you are "afraid" of falling in love always makes me feel that you may have experienced something in the past that has given you such preconceived ideas about falling in love. Perhaps it is also because of these ideas as a foundation that makes you have a negative view of things related to love. So you can look back on your previous experiences, perhaps your observations, or perhaps books, and try to analyze them. Sometimes our knowledge or experiences may not necessarily lead to good judgment with our current understanding. With the accumulation of time, our thoughts mature and we gain more experience, and our ideas will be different again.

From your concerns about falling in love, it's clear you have your own unique understanding of it. You're not just considering falling in love, but also a series of subsequent issues. This process of thinking can be anxiety-provoking and troubling, but it's also a process of growth for you. You're not just following the crowd and doing what everyone else is doing. You've been thinking about it all along, and that's why you feel the pain. But you're going to get through it!

There are so many ways you can test your ability to be responsible! You just need to create some opportunities to put this into practice yourself. You will never know unless you try!

[Since starting work, I have become increasingly anxious, and now I'm excited to tackle the mountain of marriage that's waiting for me!]

Stress is an essential element of daily life, and it's something we can all learn to manage. The good news is that we can all find ways to prioritize our stressors and make room for what's important to us. When we face pressures in life, big or small, we have the opportunity to make choices that align with our values and goals. In my opinion, there is actually room for adjustment in the pressures the OP faces from work and from blind dates. Prioritizing the release of work pressure over the pressure of blind dates is a great way to start. This situation can also be discussed with family members, informing them that you have been under a lot of work pressure recently and need to solve this aspect of the problem first. I believe family members will also understand that it is better to solve problems one by one than to tackle them all at once.

I think the pressure of marriage has been exaggerated a bit. After all, there is a process from falling in love to getting married. It doesn't happen overnight, and there is no need to put so much pressure on yourself right now. Falling in love is a matter of two people, and it may be twice as difficult, but the support given to you will also be doubled. As long as we have the courage to face problems and solve them, things are not necessarily that difficult.

I hope my reply can be of some help to you.

I noticed you were seeking help. Have you been feeling tired inside? If you're not in a relationship, your parents might encourage you to move on. I imagine you've been dealing with this for many years, along with the pressure of work and the influence of your environment. It can be very stressful. Seeking help from a professional platform is a wise choice.

Modern people tend to prioritize their own needs and desires, which is an encouraging sign of progress in our times. Many young people are exploring their independence and may be hesitant to get married, influenced by the opinions of their peers. It's important to recognize that fulfilling your own needs is essential for your personal growth and well-being. If you're not yet self-sufficient, it may be challenging to take on the responsibilities of others. However, it's crucial to remember that life goes on, and there's no need to rush into decisions that may not be right for you at this stage.

If you have any questions, you might also consider communicating with your parents. I'm sure they will understand. After all, they gave birth to you. It might be helpful to face it together. If conditions permit, you could also consider moving out and having your own space. It could also be a good choice for your work and life, allowing you to enjoy the space of solitude. You might also find a group of like-minded friends to exchange with.

People are shaped by their relationships. When we interact with others, we often gain valuable insights. With the advent of the internet, young people have endless opportunities at their fingertips. It's always beneficial to venture out and explore, as this often leads to new and exciting discoveries. Some individuals may choose to remain in their comfort zone, which could limit their potential. However, it's important to recognize that the outside world holds a wealth of possibilities.

It is possible that the relationship model and surrounding environment of your parents may have had an impact on you, as well as the people around you. It is important to remember that we are the masters of our own lives and can control our own lives. Through hard work, we can achieve our goals and create a better life. As contemporary women, we have more freedom of choice.

It might be helpful to consider that, when they are in control, parents can influence each other. If you feel ready, you could try breaking free from their control, their negativity, and their judgments, and starting your own life. You might find that there are more possibilities. It could be beneficial to learn to be alone with yourself. It's important to remember that no one will always be there for you.

Consider empowering yourself, appreciating and accepting yourself, and embracing your inner wealth. This can help you handle challenges with greater ease. It's natural for people around you to offer advice and influence your thinking. Regardless of the circumstances, because youth offers endless possibilities, it's important to follow your own rhythm, pursue your passions, and cultivate happiness. Striving to make your life meaningful is a worthwhile pursuit.

It is also possible to live a good life without being in love. You may wish to consider empowering yourself, taking responsibility for your choices, and going for it when you are ready. Everyone has their own way of life. You might like to try living in the present and allowing yourself to be happy.

I hope things work out for you.

My dear,

It's totally normal to feel a little nervous or even scared when you're facing something new, especially when it's going to affect the rest of your life. Whether it's going on a scary haunted house adventure or even making big decisions like creating national policies, the uncertainty that comes with the unknown can make us feel a bit lost or even scared.

It's so important to protect yourself from these kinds of emotions. It's like exploring a haunted house: we buy the ticket knowing that there will be thrills inside, and the more we go in, the more nervous we get. But there's no denying that that nervous feeling can also be anticipation, or even excitement. If it weren't so, we wouldn't have bought the ticket to enter!

When it comes to specific ways to deal with it, I really love Deng Xiaoping's advice of "assumptions based on boldness, and proof based on caution." It's so practical, and I think we can all learn from it!

When it comes to love and marriage, take a moment to ask yourself when you are meditating whether you have any expectations and yearnings. Then, try to picture them as concretely as you can. The more realistic our mental picture becomes, the more our enthusiasm and courage will warm up and increase.

Falling in love and getting married are two of the most important milestones in life. They're a great way to enrich your life! Reproduction is something our bodies are hardwired to do. So, when we're ready, our bodies will remind us to take the plunge. It's a natural process. Falling in love and getting married has a lot in common with partnering up to fight monsters in games. You need common interests, complementary skills, and group partners who get along well. It's just an upgraded version of reality. You can go out in a group, and you can communicate face-to-face. Through familiarity and clashes, you'll eventually meet teammates who are perfect for long-term teamwork.

So, don't worry! Getting married is really not as complicated as it seems. You can absolutely handle it!

Of course, while we enjoy the beautiful expectations of marriage, we must also be careful to protect ourselves. The host's introduction is relatively simple, and I've been a solo mother so far. Being unfamiliar does not necessarily mean failure. After making bold assumptions, careful verification in practice is the necessary step to ensure that we get the best.

It's so important to learn and understand the skills of getting along with men and women. There are so many excellent guides available today. Spending some time learning about them can prevent risks and injuries and also make you more comfortable in future interactions. If you don't want to lag behind, then I really encourage you to spend some time preparing and learning. I promise you'll be so happy you did!

It's so important to know and love yourself. When it comes to love and marriage, it's all about eye contact and feelings, but in reality, it's really about self-selection. It's a two-way street, so it's essential to measure your expectations and actively adjust to reality.

It's like choosing props in a game. There are thousands of props out there that you like, that suit you, and that are practical. And the same goes for choosing and getting along with a romantic partner! Don't set your sights too high, but don't settle for less either. Get your priorities straight and keep improving.

You're honest and trustworthy, and you take responsibility for your actions. In ancient China, marriage was important because it showed that you were ready to take on the responsibilities of adulthood. It's great that you can take care of yourself, but it's even better that you can take care of your family. That's why, in Japan, married men are still preferred in the workplace. Having the courage to take responsibility is a sign of maturity, and it's something that others can recognize and appreciate.

I hope you enjoy your journey of growth and that you're ready to embrace it wholeheartedly.

It is important to recognize that in many cases, parents often pressure their children to get married or enter into relationships without fully understanding their children's preferences or readiness for such commitments.

It is possible that your parents have simply accepted a traditional concept that has been engrained in them for many years. It is unlikely that they will be open to changing their minds on this matter, as they feel that these customary concepts are golden rules for them that cannot be shaken.

Nevertheless, it is evident that even if one is compelled to perpetuate the family line or enter into matrimony at this time, it is probable that one will ultimately find oneself on a path of unhappiness. One may be forced to bear the burden of a mortgage, a car loan, and the responsibility of raising children who will, in turn, become tools for the next generation to utilize within society, much as we were before entering the workforce or within the family unit.

One's parents and teachers will likely espouse the virtues of honesty and resilience in the face of adversity. They may also encourage one to view suffering as a blessing and to prioritize long-term growth over immediate gains and losses. It is essential to consider one's own challenges and limitations rather than making excuses. Furthermore, it is crucial to recognize one's role in contributing to the company and society. However, if one is not careful, external influences may lead one to prioritize the interests of others over one's own rights and interests.

In such a case, one will gradually become a mere instrument of another's thought processes, a mere component in another's world. One will rise early and stay up late each day, merely counting money for others. The passive personality traits one has cultivated, such as honesty, hard work, diligence, and assuming responsibilities without complaint, will become one's weaknesses, hindering one's growth. Family members sometimes worry about one ending up alone in one's old age, but more often than not, whether or not to enter a relationship still depends on one's own realization.

Ultimately, it is a personal decision that must be made by the individual in question. If one is not adequately prepared, it is unwise to proceed with what could potentially be a challenging marriage.

Some individuals experience physical injury or disability within the context of marriage, while others endure emotional violence. It is evident that you have not yet reached a point of readiness, and your apparent lack of affinity for the individual in question, coupled with a lack of trust, suggests that entering into a marriage may not be a prudent decision at this time.

One might inquire as to whether there is a fortune awaiting inheritance within one's family. Similarly, one might ask whether one's family is related to the royal family.

There is no rationale for hastening the transmission of one's lineage or accumulating debt for the purpose of intensifying future obligations and accelerating the aging process. If one is not inclined to have a caretaker, there is no justification for forcing oneself or allowing others to compel one to endure embarrassment.

It is possible that parents may not intend to harm their children, and they may be mistaken in their belief that they are not doing so. However, it is a certainty that children will never harm themselves.

It is not necessary to welcome a new family when one is truly prepared. For the time being, it is advisable to proceed at a gradual pace. In the event that one's parents continue to exert undue influence, it is important to recognize that one has reached the age of adulthood. At this juncture, it becomes essential to gradually establish independence from one's family of origin. This process can be conceptualized as a step of self-differentiation. There is no longer a need to reside with one's immediate family. The present moment offers an opportunity to gradually adjust to the reality of financial independence. It is also recommended that one engage in psychological counseling to comprehensively assess and modify one's current values and future aspirations.

Please clarify the meaning of the acronym ZQ.

Hello!

When we were young, we wanted to grow up and have our own lives. But when we do, we realize that we still have the same worries. Maybe this is the price of growing up!

With freedom comes less freedom.

I'm afraid of falling in love. I don't want to worry about someone else, and I'm not ready for a new family. Since I started work, I've become anxious. Now I'm worried about marriage.

You don't want to leave your parents' love. You have everything you need from them. You don't want to fall in love or get married.

Your parents are traditional. They married and had kids at a certain age. They should respect each other, even if they disagree. You don't want to repeat their married life.

Love and marriage should be natural and spontaneous, but when you treat it like a task, the pressure builds. We're often too pessimistic. Life isn't as bad as you think.

Smile and life will smile back.

Bao, I understand your feelings of oppression and lack of parental understanding. I also empathize with your sadness at the apparent lack of parental love and support. I can relate to your current feelings of anxiety and helplessness, as well as the sense of emptiness you're experiencing.

You are feeling anxious at the moment. Take it easy. There's no need to rush. Take things slowly, step by step, in three stages:

The first step is to:

Don't worry about solving these problems or fighting your anxiety. Find a quiet place to sit, empty your mind, and feel this emotion. See where it's hiding in your body.

You may feel blocked or stuffy in a certain part of your body, or you may feel other things. Tell that person, "I see you, I can feel this anxiety, sadness, abandonment, and oppression." Repeat this several times to relieve the anxiety and make yourself feel better.

These emotions cannot be relieved at once. You may feel them again and again after you have dealt with them. Follow this procedure to practice talking to your inner child every time you feel these emotions.

Step 2:

When you're feeling emotional, or after it has subsided, ask yourself a few questions. First, ask yourself: "I don't want to fall in love. What am I afraid of?"

I don't want to fall in love because I've heard, seen, or experienced things that make me feel it's not a beautiful thing. Second question: I don't want to fall in love, but my parents don't understand me, don't support me, pressure me, and demand that I do so this year, otherwise I will have to move out. What are my feelings?

I would tell my parents exactly what I think. If I told them I really didn't want to fall in love, what would they do?

Step 3:

Once you have asked the second question and have an answer in your heart, you will undoubtedly have the courage to make your own decision! You can find a time or the next time your parents ask you this question, tell them the reason why you don't want to fall in love, or you don't want to say the reason. You can also directly tell them, "I have grown up, this is my own business. I know you are very worried about me, but please rest assured, I can take care of myself very well, and I will fall in love when I meet the person I really want to fall in love with in the future. You also hope that I have a sweet person who really loves me and the person I really love, right?"

If you still don't have the courage to have a direct conversation with your parents after knowing your answer, you can tell them by writing a letter. This letter can be given to them or not. You will solve the problem you are asking about.

Dear Bao, You will encounter different things and difficulties in the course of growing up. There will be one challenge after another waiting for you to take on. Life is always one problem after another. You can overcome any difficulty. Follow these three steps, and you will meet a better version of yourself. You will have an anxiety-free future. You will succeed in life!

Greetings, host. I am smiling.

From your description, it appears that your circumstances are not anomalous. When it comes to marriage, which is a significant life event, parents often encourage their children to wed. After all, they are nearly the same age, and that is how it appears to them. However, you seem to be highly cautious about marriage, and there is no need for haste. It would be prudent to meet the right person at the right time, rather than recklessly initiating a relationship.

Furthermore, the individual in question lacks substantial experience in relationships, which contributes to their apprehension about initiating one. This is understandable, given that they have not previously been in a relationship. It is not uncommon for individuals, particularly women, to feel pressured to get married. In some cases, they may not be prepared for marriage, yet their parents are pushing them towards it.

In the event of confusion, it is advisable to terminate the relationship. It must be acknowledged that not everyone is deserving of trust.

Indeed, the scenario you have outlined is not uncommon. The intensity and duration of the feelings may vary from person to person. It is, therefore, advisable to take your time, avoid excessive pressure and make changes at a pace that suits you. Given that you are currently not inclined to pursue a romantic relationship, it is unwise to rush into one. It is beneficial to allow yourself a period of adjustment before entering into a committed partnership.

In this regard, I have also provided a summary of potential strategies for alleviating the current situation, which I hope will prove helpful to some extent.

(1) It is essential to have a clear understanding of one's aspirations and to strive diligently to achieve them. It is unwise to place undue pressure on oneself for the sake of others. It should be noted that one is not yet at an advanced age, and it is therefore acceptable to adopt a more relaxed approach for a period of time. However, if one desires to experience the profound emotional bond of romantic love, it is perfectly acceptable to do so. It is only through actively engaging in the process of forming relationships that one can ascertain the type of partner with whom one is most compatible.

(2) It should be noted that there is a distinction between dating and marriage. Furthermore, there is no obligation to get married if one falls in love. It is therefore advisable to take one's time in forming relationships. It is important to avoid placing excessive pressure on oneself, and instead allow oneself sufficient time to explore the possibility of a relationship.

(3) It is recommended that the individual engage in open communication with a select group of friends with whom they have a positive rapport. This will facilitate the expression of their thoughts and emotions, which may otherwise remain unexpressed.

(4) When experiencing elevated stress levels, it is beneficial to engage in activities that facilitate the release of stress, such as exercise, journaling, music, or social interaction. Instead of internalizing stress, it is advisable to express it through these outlets.

(5) One may attempt to distract oneself by engaging in an activity that one finds enjoyable, with the aim of improving one's current state of mind, rather than allowing oneself to ruminate on negative scenarios for an extended period of time.

The world and I extend our affection to you.

I wish you the best of success.

From your description, it is evident that you are experiencing anxiety. There appear to be three primary sources of anxiety-inducing events: self-pressure, family pressure, and work pressure.

You appear to be placing significant pressure on yourself. You have indicated that you have been single your entire life, that you are approaching middle age, that you are apprehensive about the prospect of falling in love, and that you are not yet prepared to embark on a new family journey. I believe that you are placing considerable pressure on yourself in terms of your age and attitude towards love.

Your family is concerned about your marriage, which creates a sense of pressure when you are in contact with them. You mentioned feeling "pushed too hard" and "unable to breathe."

From your description, I can already discern the urgency and persistent nature of the interactions with your family members, which have created a sense of oppression in your life and mind.

Furthermore, you are currently experiencing work-related stress. As you mentioned, since starting your new position, you have noticed an increase in anxiety.

I believe there may be several factors at work that contribute to your feelings of anxiety, which in turn may be influencing your perception of marriage as an additional challenge.

Given your description of self-pressure, family pressure, and work pressure, it is evident that you are currently facing significant challenges. I believe I can provide some suggestions to assist you.

First, gain an understanding of your own stress. The pressures you encounter at your current age are related to the things and relationships you are currently experiencing and facing.

While these factors may contribute to an unfavorable emotional state, they are a reality that must be acknowledged. It is recommended that you conduct a thorough analysis to gain a deeper understanding of your stressors.

It would be beneficial to consider the reasons behind the stress, the thoughts that arise as a result, and why these thoughts are causing distress. Understanding the root causes of stress can be invaluable in gaining insight into one's emotions.

The second step is to respect your own feelings. Once you have identified the source of the stress and the associated thoughts, it is important to understand how these thoughts affect you.

In such instances, it is crucial to prioritize your own needs and respect your feelings. While external factors may be beyond your control, you have the power to manage your own emotions.

For instance, if a situation causes you discomfort, you may wish to consider ways of making yourself feel more at ease and implementing changes where necessary. While your parents' words may have been uttered with the best of intentions, they can nevertheless cause you distress and anxiety.

What steps can you take to improve your situation? It is important to find ways to feel comfortable. You are the best person to understand your needs and respect your feelings.

In conclusion, it is important to focus on the present and allow yourself the opportunity to explore new possibilities. It is evident that you have a number of concerns regarding the future.

For example, consider the potential for change in areas such as work and marriage. It is important to recognize that the future is inherently unpredictable and that unexpected developments may occur.

Rather than dwelling on future concerns, which can be overwhelming, it is advisable to concentrate on the present and act in accordance with your goals. For instance, consider your objectives for today and the outcomes you aim to achieve.

Furthermore, it is recommended that you approach each day with a sense of purpose and dedication, as this may help to gradually resolve the issues at hand.

I hope you find these suggestions helpful.

I wish you the best of luck!

Good day, I am writing to express my gratitude for your guidance on this topic. I hope that my response will be of some assistance to you.

It is also important to consider the views of parents. They may believe that marriage is a necessary step towards future happiness. However, you may also have the desire to take responsibility for your own happiness and avoid hasty decisions. Ultimately, both parties want a happy and fulfilling life. By focusing on your own happiness and taking responsibility for it, you can foster a more understanding and supportive home environment.

I would like to offer you the following advice:

Please examine the reasons behind your apprehension about entering into a romantic relationship and what such a relationship would signify to you.

You have indicated that you are somewhat apprehensive about the prospect of falling in love and becoming responsible for another individual's wellbeing. Could you please elaborate on what you perceive to be the implications of falling in love?

It is evident that attitudes and perceptions of love vary considerably from one individual to another. Some individuals find love to be a source of inspiration and nourishment, while others may experience it as a source of stress and pain. These differing perspectives inevitably shape the way individuals approach and engage with love. People tend to pursue positive and avoid negative experiences.

Cognitive therapy posits that an object's intrinsic properties do not directly influence our emotions. Instead, our emotional state is shaped by our perception of the object. If the perception is positive, our emotions will align with that positivity. Conversely, if the perception is negative, our emotions will reflect that negativity. To address these perceptions, it is essential to become aware of your thoughts and attitudes towards love. This involves examining your personal growth experiences to identify the factors that have instilled fear in you and the beliefs that have shaped your restrictive outlook.

It is these limiting thoughts and beliefs that instill fear in us regarding love and cause us to perceive it as a form of stress with attachments, rather than as a source of support and nourishment.

It is essential to explore and perceive these issues independently. Once you identify and address these limiting thoughts and beliefs, you can gradually shift your attitude towards love from fear to longing, and then to pursuing and enjoying it.

2. Accept yourself, allow yourself to operate at your own pace, and communicate with your family in an appropriate manner.

There is no need to blame yourself or deny yourself. Individual circumstances vary. Some people marry early, some marry late; some advance quickly in their careers, while others develop their careers later. It is irrelevant because everyone's specific living conditions and growth and development paces are different. There is no need to measure ourselves against worldly standards. The only rhythm we can grasp is our own. The fact that you did not marry at the age your family expected does not mean you are not good enough, unsuccessful or unhappy.

As previously stated, your family wants you to be happy, and they believe that marriage at this age is the key to happiness. However, you also want to make yourself happy, and you don't feel ready to get married at this time. In fact, your needs are aligned: both of you want you to be happy. This allows you to identify an appropriate time to communicate your feelings and needs to your family. You can inform them that you want to prioritize your happiness and personal growth before getting married. You can also express your desire to find a partner who aligns with your values and pace of life. You can emphasize that you will take responsibility for your own happiness and that you hope your family will respect your decision. You can also suggest that marriage should not be a constant expectation. You believe that when the time is right, you will meet the right person, and marriage will naturally follow.

3. Learn to differentiate between issues and assume responsibility for your own marriage and life.

To effectively manage conflicts in interpersonal relationships, it is essential to differentiate between issues and recognize the distinction between personal concerns and those of others. It is neither productive nor necessary to take on the burden of other individuals' issues. Instead, it is crucial to address and resolve your own concerns. This approach will lead to a more positive and productive outcome.

It is not always straightforward to determine whether a problem is yours or someone else's. The answer depends on who will be directly affected by the outcome.

In light of these considerations, it is evident that the direct consequence of your decision regarding marriage will be borne by you. This is a matter that is entirely within your purview. It is to be expected that your parents will offer their input and guidance on the subject, reflecting their own need for personal growth.

There are several options available regarding this topic. One option is to continue in this state, which would entail bearing the result of not being able to get married for the time being and being scolded by your family. It would also mean not being allowed to live at home. Another option is to get married this year, which would entail bearing the corresponding result of this choice, such as your parents and family no longer scolding you. However, you may not necessarily be confident in or like your marriage. A third option is to choose not to get married for the time being, communicate well with your family, and wait until you are ready to get married. This requires spending time and energy communicating with your family and continuing to grow yourself.

It is important to recognize that many things are imperfect and that the choice to accept responsibility for a particular action is a personal one. When faced with challenges in life, it is essential to make decisions based on one's own free will and to accept the consequences of those decisions. I believe you have already identified a solution that aligns with your values and goals.

Please refer to the above for further information. Best regards,