I've encountered many problems at work and want to give up. Am I being too pretentious?

Greetings!

If you find yourself in a situation where you feel like giving up due to the challenges you're facing at work, it's important to recognize that you're experiencing a range of emotions, including feelings of conflict and uncertainty. In these moments, it can be helpful to give yourself a kind and supportive gesture, such as a comforting hug.

In the event of other people's comments or misunderstandings,

It may be the case that your conscientious and responsible attitude towards work has been misunderstood as a bad attitude, which makes you feel sad and aggrieved. It is possible that this is caused by different perspectives or poor communication.

It is not uncommon for different people to reach different conclusions about the same thing from different standpoints. This is particularly the case with the different views held by people and the various conflicts that arise as a result. It is therefore important to learn to distinguish between other people's views and our own perceptions and evaluations. If we have not done anything wrong but simply have different perspectives, we should not be influenced by other people's evaluations. There is no need for us to interpret and speculate further to understand this difference. We can also ignore misunderstandings that are not worth dwelling on and just focus on doing what we should be doing.

If there are communication problems that involve cooperation at work, it would be best to express yourself patiently and communicate objectively in order to find a solution from a work perspective.

Regarding the topics of learning and seeking advice.

When taking on a new job and arriving in a new environment, it's natural to feel a bit out of your comfort zone at first. If you want to learn and adapt as quickly as possible, it's helpful to try to let go of your pride and modesty a little, and to ask for help with an open mind. If someone has already been assigned to teach you, it's a good idea to ask them for advice more often. Don't be afraid to ask questions if you don't understand something – there's no shame in not knowing the answer.

It would be beneficial to learn to observe, and when others are not busy, it might be helpful to go and ask for advice. When others need help, offering to help and showing kindness to others could be a good way to interact. If others help you, it is a matter of course; if others don't help you, it might be best not to complain. Just find someone else to ask. If you want to learn something in this time period, it might be helpful to let go of your own ego.

It is important to take the initiative when it comes to learning. There are many online resources that can help you to think in new ways. It is a good idea to use a variety of resources, and with the right attitude, you will make progress day by day.

If you feel that you are not as quick as you would like to be at learning new things, it might be helpful to allow yourself more time. It's understandable to feel impatient, but it's important to remember that this is a period of adjustment and that everything is challenging at the beginning. With time and practice, you will gradually become more familiar with it and improve.

With regard to interpersonal relationships,

The workplace is a place to work, and the relationships between colleagues are collaborative relationships. It could be said that the best interpersonal relationships are those that work together to get things done. From a work perspective, it may be a lot simpler to handle interpersonal relationships with a collaborative attitude.

Since you are currently engaged in this particular line of work, it would be beneficial to give it your best effort. It may be helpful to try to do more and think less. It is important to recognize the value of this opportunity to work, and to identify your strengths and utilize them to the fullest.

Those who are able to make progress and achieve success in a certain field often do so over time, through dedication and hard work.

I hope Hongyu's reply is helpful to you. Thank you for your question!

Hello! I hope I'm not too late! I just saw it, so give me a hugヽ(

I'm sorry to hear you've had a tough time at work. We all face challenges, and it's how we overcome them that makes us stronger. I'm here to help! I've identified three main areas of confusion: communication, positioning, and growth. Let's dive in and see how we can turn things around.

First, let's talk about workplace communication. You mentioned that your serious and responsible attitude towards work was misunderstood as bad-tempered. Well, although I don't know the specific circumstances, what I feel is that unfamiliar work partners don't know you and judge you – but you can change that!

I would be angry too! Maybe it's because the working environment is tough to open up to, or maybe it's because we've spent so little time together. Either way, you've got to realize in your heart that you are not defined by others. Don't let other people's comments affect your mood!

Since the evaluation is made by someone who is not familiar with you, it may not be accurate, which means that it may be someone else's fault. But here's the good news: your personality traits will not be affected by this. You are still you, you are still cute, and they are not important.

And there's more! Communication at work is really quite complicated. Sometimes, verbal communication just can't convey meaning accurately (especially written words). I'm not sure about the specific scenarios that cause misunderstandings, but I personally feel that verbal communication is really disastrous in the workplace. But don't worry! What's really effective is actually voice, gestures, and expressions. If possible, it's best to express yourself over the phone or in person!

When you speak softly and look sincerely, no matter what the content is, I absolutely believe the chances of misunderstanding will be greatly reduced!

"I'm usually the kind of person who is submissive and careful and dares not speak loudly to others." I'm not sure if this is the right time to say this. Do you like this way of not causing trouble, or are you actually unwilling to be more assertive and say "no"? (I can't even tell from your phone number whether you're a man or a woman...) Because "submissive" doesn't seem like a positive comment, I'm not sure if you're actually "putting up with it," even though they'll still say things to you even after you put up with it...so you're especially angry?

You may not realize it, but you're already unhappy. If it's the latter, well, the workplace is indeed very troublesome. But don't worry! It's not good to offend, but it's not comfortable not to offend either. Or you can try to communicate more tactfully – provided you do it first. Sometimes, if others see that you're doing a great job, they naturally feel that whatever you say makes sense. So go out there and show them what you've got!

If the timing is right, you can show someone you're friendly to clear up any misunderstandings – if you think they deserve it. If you don't trust your workplace and you feel that communicating is risky, avoid expressing your personal opinions. Just do your job politely – you've got this!

You're here to make money, so just take the salary and be happy! If the other person is being really unreasonable, you can calmly express your attitude.

Otherwise, if you keep getting caught up in negative emotions, you may feel aggrieved, and this aggrieved feeling is also easily picked up on by others, which can lead to misunderstandings. But don't worry! If you just feel that they are being unreasonable and you can't tell them to their face, you can also go home and tell someone else, like a wall, or your lover... Sometimes, there really are people who are being unreasonable. Just remember that it's not your fault, and you can feel good about yourself. When you get the skills, just find a happier environment!

2. Workplace orientation: "I suspect that maybe other people don't like me and want to get rid of me so that I quit on my own. It's not impossible. In fact, I really had to work hard at this job, because there is no specific learning channel in a short period of time for the job content in the field of never lending a car.

Here's a great idea! If you're not close with your colleagues, you can search online for info, like on Zhihu, to see what your peers are up to. There are no conflicts of interest online, so you can learn a lot! Or you can secretly observe what others are doing when it's convenient, or you can ask your mentor.

You just can't stop showing it off!

"The consequences are that you both trouble others and increase their workload, and you also find it hard to learn on your own. Sometimes you are afraid to ask questions because you don't want to disturb the other person, who also has work to do. If you don't ask, you will just muddle along, and that's hard," I think you should be a kind person who doesn't want to disturb others. However, I have heard a psychological law: Asking for help appropriately can bring you closer to others and make them feel that you like and value them! I feel that the person you want to ask for help is either more capable than you or someone you can trust and are willing to get in touch with.

Who would ask for help from someone they dislike or who is particularly stupid? Absolutely no one! As long as you don't cling to people without boundaries, most people are willing to help.

Once you've asked someone for help, you can bring them something delicious, invite them for a cup of milk tea, or buy them a beer and some skewers! Just make sure it's a small gift that you can afford.

Growth direction: Everyone has talents! It is probably rarer to be good at nothing than to be good at everything, so get out there and start discovering yours!

It's just that most people can't find it at once. But don't worry, this is not your fault! It's probably the fault of the education bureau or high school teachers. When you become an adult, you can try to discover it yourself. You can start by doing this job and observing your characteristics from it. This is a great way to see which parts you do particularly well and which parts you struggle with.

What are the parts you like and don't like? Go for it! And while you're at it, have a piece of bread and see if it suits you.

If you don't feel good at dealing with people, don't worry! There are plenty of other ways to contribute. Focus on what you need to do and see how it goes. You can be proactive and let your master feel that you are down-to-earth and willing to work.

Some people are great at detailed work, some at collaboration, some at coming up with ideas, some at getting things done without mistakes, some at planning and coordinating... Find the part of your work that lets your amazing personality shine! Do that part really well, and people will notice. With confidence, you can also slowly switch to a team that's a perfect fit for you!

Or you can seize the chance to learn more! If that doesn't work out, you can also shift your focus to life and gain happiness⊙▽⊙.

Make friends at work, do things you like, etc. But remember, don't deny yourself! You just haven't had the chance to try your talents, not that you don't have any...

Work can be a real nuisance because it takes up a large part of your life. But don't worry! If you can't change it, at least make yourself happy. In your world, in the eyes of your friends and family, you are unique.

I've put together a few suggestions in terms of communication, mentality, and practices. I'm really excited to see if they'll help you! Thanks so much for your trust. I don't come up much and I'm also a rookie in the workplace, but I'm eager to learn and contribute. I hope you can solve it soon and be happy every day!

Hello, I am Qu Huidong, a psychological counselor who uses imagery as a way of speaking.

From what I can gather from reading your question, it seems as if you may have tied your hands and feet together and wrapped yourself up in a ball.

To others, you may feel like just a "ball" that can be ordered around.

I find that I can only protect myself in this way, without daring to take a breath.

It's a challenging situation.

Many people have likely experienced similar challenges, where they encounter difficulties but feel uncertain about where to turn.

As you mentioned, you are concerned about the potential of wasting others' time, causing inconvenience, and being rejected.

I can see that you are trying your best to persevere, learn, and solve problems despite these concerns.

Perhaps it would be helpful to take a moment to reflect on what has encouraged you to persevere.

If you have an answer, it would be helpful to write it down as much as you can.

If I might make a suggestion, try not to think about "but..." first, whatever you write.

It might be helpful to focus less on the difficulty and more on the fact that it will be challenging.

It is likely that you will find many reasons to convince yourself that these "buts" are justified.

Perhaps it would be helpful to check again to see if they are really 100% true. It might also be worthwhile to consider how much you don't believe in them.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider combining the reasons for perseverance with those that suggest otherwise.

Perhaps you could consider what might help you to move on.

It is important to remember that nobody is truly worthless unless they give up on themselves.

Perhaps, when we give up, we are actually seeking a force that we can control.

Perhaps you could try to believe in yourself, and feel the spark of stars within, gathering them slowly.

You may even find that you discover a more powerful self!

Everyone is a beacon. Whether asking questions or answering them, words can illuminate the hearts of many people, and this is our shared energy.

Hello, I am Xin Tan, Coach Fly. I can see that you are distressed because you have encountered some unfair judgments at work. It's natural to doubt that you are being targeted, but you need to recognize that you are not being singled out.

Hugs across the air, politics in the workplace, and conflicts are inevitable. It's impossible to please everyone. You'll always have a mix of good and bad reviews. It's not about you. It's about the other person.

Pleasing others is exhausting.

Let's identify the root of the problem.

?1. The truth is not always what we see. It often comes from multiple perspectives.

You say the problems you encounter at work are similar to those in the past and you have a certain opinion about your work attitude. However, the feedback you receive from others is different or even the opposite.

People are used to using their own values and feelings to judge a person or an event. This is judgment. Judgment is good. It gives us direction and corrects our thoughts and behaviors.

However, within the scope of one's own perception, having a judgment leads to deviation, and it is easy to develop "limited beliefs." There's no question that having one's own values means having standards, and having standards means having judgments.

Therefore, you should take other people's opinions as a reference, but not as the absolute truth. They are only basing their opinions on their own perception.

Embrace differences. Just as the same number 6 can be viewed as 6 from one perspective and 9 from another, there is no right or wrong, only different perspectives.

When someone gives you a negative comment, separate the person's actions from their identity. Don't label the person. Otherwise, you'll distort the relationship and even destroy it.

If you are unhappy, it's because you are negative about yourself and suspicious of others.

2. You can't give others what you don't have yourself.

For example, self-confidence. "Confidence brings trust." You doubt others and deny yourself because you give yourself a bad review. You think you want to get rid of yourself, exert great effort, not handle interpersonal relationships well, and learn things more slowly.

You must have faith in yourself as a person, regardless of what you have done, what you have not done, or what you can do. "Proving yourself in everything" – depending on the affirmation, praise, and recognition of others can also make us feel a sense of accomplishment and worthiness. However, once these external supports are lost, we must not allow ourselves to fall into a sense of worthlessness.

If you look outside, you will always find pain in not getting what you want. There is only one way to avoid this: cultivate yourself inwardly, grow through learning, and find your own sense of worth in the process of contributing what you can to others and society.

Pleasing others starts with pleasing yourself. Give yourself positive feedback. You need your own affirmation, praise, and recognition.

Read books on physical and mental growth. I recommend "Jump Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life." People have worries because they think too much. The book has ways to train the mind to relieve life's worries.

I hope the above provides you with a new perspective, more choices, and that you love yourself and the world. ?

If you want to continue communicating, click "Find a coach" in the upper right corner or at the bottom. I will communicate and grow with you one-on-one.

Good morning! I extend my warmest regards from afar.

I am grateful for the opportunity to assist you in addressing your request for help. I hope that my input will prove beneficial and helpful to you.

From your description, I can ascertain that you are experiencing a profound sense of self-rejection, lack of confidence, and inferiority. It is evident that you are not aware of this aspect of your inner self, which manifests as an unintentional projection of the emotional feelings associated with this self onto other individuals. This projection occurs because you believe that others will not accept this aspect of yourself either. Consequently, you become highly sensitive to the words and actions of others, particularly regarding their evaluation of you, especially when it is negative. You tend to attribute these evaluations to your own dislike and rejection. This perception and attribution result in a range of emotions and feelings, including depression, low spirits, frustration, self-negation, and self-attack. When this aspect of your emotions is not acknowledged, expressed, and released, it can lead to a state of continuous self-negation, low self-worth, and a sense of helplessness and powerlessness.

It is therefore important to understand that how others treat you is not as important as how you perceive yourself. It is essential to be fully accepting of yourself, as this will guide how others respond to you.

The way you treat yourself will also directly affect your perception and attribution of your inner self.

It is therefore important to learn to accept yourself, build self-confidence and enhance your sense of self-worth. One way to do this is to make a list of your strengths in terms of self-acceptance. This allows you to identify both your shortcomings and your many positive attributes. It is important not to define and evaluate yourself based on the results of your actions. You can build self-confidence and enhance your self-worth by keeping a gratitude journal.

It would be beneficial to cultivate more interests and passions outside of work in order to gain greater control over your life and make it more fulfilling. This will also lead to increased confidence. Additionally, it is important to actively and courageously build positive relationships with others and communicate your feelings and needs honestly. It is important not to doubt yourself due to rejection or negation, as you have the right to reject or negate others if necessary.

My name is Lily, and I am the Q&A Pavilion's designated listener. I extend my warmest regards to you all, and I wish you well.

Hello!

I can totally relate to the confusion and difficulty the questioner is facing. It's tough to fit in with everyone and keep up with work, but it's also an amazing opportunity to learn and grow!

"This question is similar to previous ones." What were the previous ones? They may be brought about by similarities in thinking and behavior patterns.

"A serious and responsible attitude at work is mistaken for bad manners." At this point, I absolutely believe you are serious and responsible!

Sometimes when our words enter other people's ears, they may interpret them in other ways. So let's be a little more aware of our tone of voice!

This awareness is a fantastic way to become more and more optimistic!

"The kind of person who is always deferential and afraid to speak up" seems to be a self-assessment, while the following statement, "I don't know what this kind of assessment means," seems to be an outsider's assessment of you.

So here, the questioner needs to be aware of how they think they evaluate themselves. If you refer to other people's evaluation mechanisms, but you don't know why they would say that, then it seems that you are making things difficult for yourself. But don't worry! You can easily fix this.

They say I'm what I am, and I become what they say I am. You are what you are, and you are the only one who knows yourself best. And that's a good thing!

Then the questioner said that he had difficulty learning the work content. Undaunted, he asked someone for help, but was rejected.

When you feel helpless, it's important to remember that rejection is just a bump in the road. It's all about how you choose to move forward. Stay positive, keep your eyes on the prize, and don't let disappointments in your work or environment get you down. You've got this!

You're still working hard because you're a very conscientious person!

The questioner wants to convey that he is serious about his work, both in attitude and execution. However, the message conveyed does seem to be one of caution, a sense of being unable to exert one's strength, and a feeling of being trapped by something. This is something he can work on!

There's also a kind of self-deprecation. But don't worry! In that case, others will be even more able to show off their superiority.

So, how do you give yourself some affirmation and reduce self-deprecation? You have to slowly find the answer in your heart, and I know you can do it!

Just tear off that label of "pretentious" and let your true self shine!

The key is that the questioner needs to see himself and be willing to fight for himself – whether it is this job or changing to another job. And he will!

"But people like me can't do anything but this job," the questioner's inner helplessness and struggle are the conclusions drawn after some assessment of their own lives and work. But oh, abilities can be continuously expanded!

Absolutely! You can absolutely continue to expand your abilities in a job and across industries.

Interpersonal relationships are not completely unimportant, but the questioner is stuck in a difficult interpersonal relationship and has forgotten about his own energy, which is like buying a box and returning the pearl. But there's no need to worry! The answer is simple: the questioner just needs to remember that he has the power to change his situation.

Focus on your own improvement and forget about other people's opinions for now. When you don't care, they can't affect you as much. This way, you'll be able to grow and improve even more!

Tell yourself with a big, bright smile: You're absolutely amazing! And you'll be even more incredible tomorrow!