Lately, I've felt an increasing need for others' affirmations, how can I change this habit?

The questioner recently experienced a sense of needing external validation from others to a disproportionate extent. This was accompanied by a tendency to seek input and opinions from others, even when they had already formed a personal opinion or conclusion. The questioner was curious about how they could overcome this pattern.

Indeed, all humans are social creatures, and there are two levels of personal value.

The individual in question considers themselves to be of value.

Individuals tend to perceive themselves as valuable.

In either case, the establishment of a benchmark is essential.

The initial step is to establish a personal benchmark that is not contingent on external evaluations. This process instills confidence in oneself.

The second is that we seek to establish a benchmark for evaluation through others with whom we are connected. This is an inevitable manifestation of human social nature.

It is a fundamental tenet of human nature that no individual can exist independently without relying on others. Consequently, it is inevitable that we will care about the evaluation, affirmation, and approval of others.

This is an innate and inherited trait that can be traced back to ancient times.

However, when one's self-esteem is overly dependent on the opinions of others, it can lead to feelings of anxiety. In such instances, it is essential to identify sources of personal affirmation that are not contingent on external validation. Once these sources have been identified and integrated into one's sense of self-worth, a more balanced state of mind can be achieved.

It is, in essence, a normal human tendency to seek external validation. When one experiences a sense of self-superiority, it is advisable to undertake a process of introspection and gradually enhance one's self-assurance. The objective is to achieve a dynamic equilibrium between self-confidence and external affirmation.

You describe yourself as a cautious individual who prioritizes maintaining social harmony. This inclination sometimes leads you to believe that your statements might be perceived as hurtful to others' feelings. However, the reality is that you hold opposing views to those commonly expressed, to the extent that others perceive you as a person who lacks opinions and aligns with the prevailing attitudes.

A tendency to be cautious is often indicative of a lack of confidence, and it is therefore important to develop and enhance one's self-confidence. There are numerous strategies that can be employed to achieve this online, and it is possible to identify the most suitable approach for oneself. However, this is beyond the scope of the present discussion.

The questioner is an individual with their own perspectives and opinions. It is a misconception that expressing one's opinions is inherently detrimental to others. If one desires to be perceived as a well-rounded individual with thoughts and ideas of their own, they can confidently express their opinions. If one lacks the confidence or skill to do so, they can seek guidance and practice until they are able to express themselves effectively.

I wish you the best of success.

Hello, host! I really hope my answer can help you in some way.

When we really want other people to recognize and affirm us, it's because we don't always recognize and affirm ourselves enough.

There's a law in psychology that I think is really interesting. It says that when we lack something internally, we will look for it externally. So, when we don't recognize ourselves enough, we have a special need for external recognition. But the outside world is always changing, and we can't always get recognition from others. That's why it's so important to look within, learn to recognize and affirm ourselves. When your inner world is stable enough, and when you recognize yourself enough and are confident enough, you'll find that you don't care so much about other people's opinions.

I'd love to offer the following suggestions for the poster:

1. Be kind to others and choose your friends wisely.

How can we respond in a kind and thoughtful way to other people's opinions?

We're all different, and each of us has our own set of standards when it comes to how we evaluate things.

When others meet our evaluation standards, we like, recognize, and support them. It's only when they don't meet our standards that we might feel differently.

On the other hand, when we meet the other person's evaluation criteria, they will recognize us. When we don't meet their evaluation criteria, they might reject us, but that's okay!

So, you'll find that whether the other person recognizes you has little to do with you, but rather whether you match their evaluation criteria. But, we can't control what other people think or do. We can't always meet other people's evaluation criteria, and we can't meet everyone's criteria.

Life can be tough for everyone, and we all have different wants and different positions. There's no need to try to be someone you're not just to please other people, and there's no need to try to get others to conform to your standards. There's no need to seek others' understanding and approval in everything.

So, there's absolutely no need to sacrifice yourself to gain the approval of others or to maintain relationships. It's totally fine if you're liked or disliked because, no matter what you are like, there will always be people who like you and people who dislike you. What matters is whether you can accept this self that is liked and disliked at the same time.

We don't live to please other people. If we keep seeking other people's approval and caring about what they think, we'll end up living other people's lives. If we hope too much to be recognized by others, we'll live our lives according to other people's expectations and lose our true selves. This will bring you trouble because it's not the life you really want.

It's time to take back the right to evaluate yourself. You can treat yourself as someone else and evaluate yourself comprehensively, objectively, and truthfully. This way, you'll know yourself better and know yourself well enough. You'll also know what you want. At this time, the evaluation of others has become less important.

When you care less about what others think and live your true self, you'll find that your relationships will improve. You'll be happy to know that those "bad relationships" you've traded for by pleasing others and suppressing your own needs will no longer haunt you.

It's so important to engage in selective socializing.

It's true that everyone needs to socialize. It's a great way to feel like you belong and to feel safe. But it's also important to be selective about who you socialize with. Try to avoid people who are constantly criticizing and discouraging you. That can really cause a lot of distress. Instead, look for people who are always encouraging and supportive. That way, you'll get the care and support you need when you're socializing.

We all get stressed about socializing sometimes! When you feel that way, just adjust the frequency of socializing until it suits you. Don't force yourself, and remember to take care of your own feelings.

2. How can we be true to ourselves and take care of our own needs?

Do you know that feeling? It's so easy to get caught up in other people's feelings and needs in a relationship. We're always thinking about how we can meet other people's needs, and we sometimes forget about our own. When we can't express our needs or show our true selves, it can make us feel a bit out of sorts.

So, it's really important for us to learn to express our feelings and needs and to be true to ourselves.

You know, the more you can just be yourself, the more harmony and ease you'll feel. I know it's tough, but as long as you're determined to start adjusting and trying to express yourself, I truly believe that you'll get closer and closer to the way you want to be.

When you let your true self shine through, you'll feel your own energy growing stronger and stronger.

3. And last but not least, build your self-confidence and a sense of security!

You know, confidence comes from strength and hard work. And when we become the person we recognize through our own efforts, we'll become more and more confident, and our hearts will become more and more steadfast.

You can set yourself goals that are just right for you and then work towards achieving them one by one. By achieving your goals over and over again, your abilities will gradually improve, your knowledge will accumulate, and your experience will become richer and richer. You will feel more and more secure, have a greater sense of control over your life, and naturally become more and more confident.

The so-called "appropriate" goals are the ones that are just right for you. They're the kind you can reach by standing on your tiptoes! If the goal is too small, you might feel unchallenged, bored, and not bother to achieve it. But if it's too big, you might feel too much resistance and not have the confidence to achieve it. And that's okay! Medium difficulty goals are the most motivating. When we work hard to achieve these goals, we'll feel a sense of achievement and self-confidence.

So, for example, if you're currently walking 4,000 steps a day, why not set a goal of 4,500 to 5,000 steps a day? You can go as high as 10,000 if you want to, but 4,500 to 5,000 is a great place to start!

When you set goals that suit you according to your abilities, remember that the most important thing is to persevere in your actions. You've got this! Only action can enable you to overcome difficulties and truly experience your own value.

4. You'll start to see more of your own strengths and value, and you'll be able to engage in positive mental suggestion all the time.

Affirming and supporting ourselves is the key to becoming more confident, my friend.

As I mentioned before, when we're missing something inside, we tend to look for it outside. But the truth is, everything outside is pretty unstable and beyond our control. The good news is that we can control ourselves and our own actions and thoughts.

It's okay to need external recognition sometimes. It just shows that we don't approve of ourselves enough. So let's practice approving of ourselves and encouraging ourselves! When we approve of and support ourselves enough, we won't care so much about other people's recognition and evaluation.

And when you accept and approve of yourself, others will also increasingly approve of you and believe in you because you'll be radiating your own charm and confidence!

Keep up the great work! Keep encouraging yourself, keep giving yourself those positive mental suggestions, and keep believing that you can do it. You've got this!

I'm wishing you the best of luck!

Indeed, it can be observed that the majority of individuals residing in this world seek the approval of others on a daily basis. The act of being approved by another person has been proven to elicit feelings of immense happiness, contentment, and joy.

However, external recognition from others is inherently unstable, as it is not a guaranteed constant. Relying on others is tantamount to relinquishing the power to determine one's own happiness and placing it in the hands of another individual. It is an unavoidable reality that expectations, disappointments, and a multitude of deliberate actions will inevitably arise.

The pursuit of approval is a common human phenomenon. The desire for love and the appreciation of beauty is a fundamental aspect of the human experience. Despite this, there is often a discrepancy between the perceived lack of these things and the eagerness to demonstrate their presence.

Those who seek acceptance and recognition from others and attempt to alter their personalities to align with external expectations may experience significant distress. The true sources of strength and happiness reside in self-awareness and self-acceptance, accompanied by a sense of confidence in one's abilities and identity.

If the desire for recognition in the heart is not so strong, it will be easier to get along with others and be accepted. Frequently, we imagine things, calculate in our hearts, and fear the opinions of others, which causes us distress. In fact, what we think is not actually the judgment of others; the pain is completely created by our own hearts.

In fact, all individuals in this world, regardless of gender, socioeconomic status, educational background, physical or mental health, possess an inherent foundation of truth, goodness, and beauty. There is no need for external searching, as these qualities reside within each individual.

Once one discovers the truth, goodness, and beauty within oneself, one gains unshakable confidence and thus attains peace and happiness. What is your opinion on this matter?

The question remains unanswered.