Life is too painful, not knowing what I am truly longing for.

Good morning, my name is Si Jin Ya.

Please accept this warm embrace.

From the landlord's description, it is evident that the landlord requires internal and external energy to facilitate his forward progress. The landlord is experiencing fatigue.

1. With regard to external factors, I would like to suggest, as a visitor to this establishment, that we proceed with the meal.

When faced with challenging circumstances and a lack of direction, consider the benefits of nourishing your body with a comforting meal. Whether it's a hot dish you enjoy or a chocolate dessert, the act of eating can provide a sense of satisfaction and positivity.

Furthermore, I wish you the best of luck for the remainder of the day. I hope you are fortunate enough to receive some small blessings that will help you overcome the challenges in your life.

It is possible to influence external factors, in addition to those that arise from within. For instance, if you are experiencing a negative mood, it is advisable to communicate this to your family and inform them that you are feeling tired.

The family's understanding and a family member's words of encouragement, such as "You've worked hard," can also be beneficial.

This will also result in a reduction of negative emotions and attitudes.

2. Inner Self The inner self is derived from the individual.

The host is experiencing exhaustion due to the limitations of the ego at this juncture.

It is therefore essential to identify the aspects of our daily lives that bring us satisfaction and fulfilment, in order to maintain a positive and resilient outlook.

This is not a process that can be completed in a short period of time. However, it is a goal that can be achieved with the right level of commitment.

I wish you the best and hope you can conclude the day on a positive note.

Hello!

You seem confused about what you want to do.

When you ask us this question, you have already noticed your inner conflicts and needs and want to start changing.

Know yourself.

You must always be on the move. I have always felt that each of us has a unique weapon for navigating the world.

Know yourself. It's a long process, so be prepared for confusion.

But after every moment of confusion, you'll understand more. As you get to know yourself better, you'll be able to take control of your life.

Confront the issues and clear up the confusion.

What do you want from your work? What kind of work environment do you like?

What kind of work? What kind of marriage?

What is your ideal life like? How far is it from your reality?

How can you shorten this distance? How do you see yourself?

Answer these questions to understand your goals better. If your goals are too far away, try lowering your expectations and focus on what you can achieve. This will help you stay motivated.

I hope the above info helps. Thanks for reading!

Greetings!

As a heart exploration coach, I believe that learning is the most valuable asset of the human body.

From your description, it is evident that you are experiencing a multitude of negative emotions, including depression, struggle, disappointment, negativity, pain, and helplessness.

The difficulties associated with perceiving life as excessively painful will not be elaborated upon here; however, three pieces of advice are offered for future reference.

Firstly, it is recommended that the "Miracle Questioning Method" be employed in order to ascertain one's genuine aspirations from an external perspective, as well as the intrinsic motivations that drive one's actions.

Given your assertion that your life is characterized by excessive pain and a lack of clarity regarding your external and internal pursuits, we propose a method for self-reflection. This entails posing the following question: "If a transformative event were to occur, such that you were to become a pain-free individual, what actions would you undertake in this altered state?"

The response to this inquiry may assist in elucidating one's genuine introspective perspectives.

For example, one might inquire as to the individual's projected professional trajectory, their anticipated state of affairs in regard to marriage and relationships, and their projected personal growth. It is likely that the individual will then recognize that they are seeking external affirmation and recognition from others, the attention and care of others, and that they are pursuing internal personal value and meaning. In short, this method may be an effective means of discerning the individual's underlying motivations and aspirations.

Secondly, it is recommended that the aforementioned responses be compared with the subject's current circumstances, with particular attention paid to identifying discrepancies. It is advised that this comparison be as detailed as possible, with greater specificity being preferable.

This method of comparison facilitates a more nuanced understanding of both the self and the external reality.

Indeed, it is facilitating rational thinking about the circumstances at hand.

For example, in the context of one's professional life, the state of being free from suffering is one in which one can envision a future and is motivated to pursue it. However, this state has not yet been attained. The specific gaps can be seen in the fact that the company is not developing as it should, and one's own business capabilities are insufficient.

In the context of marriage, the optimal state is one in which two individuals are able to understand and empathize with each other, leading to a sense of mutual happiness. However, in reality, there are often discrepancies between these ideal states and the actual circumstances experienced by couples. These discrepancies can result in a lack of intimacy and a consequent inability to experience the aforementioned happiness. With regard to personal growth, the ideal state is one of daily fulfillment and comfort, yet the reality is often characterized by suffering, excessive actions, and an inability to regulate behavior rationally.

When one employs a rational assessment of one's circumstances and identifies the specific deficiencies, one may experience a certain alleviation of one's inner pain, as a result of having identified a direction in which to strive.

It is recommended that you accept those aspects of your situation that you are unable to alter, take action to modify those that you can, and then observe the outcome.

Once the aforementioned deficiencies have been identified, a rational judgment based on reality must be made as to what can and cannot be changed. Thereafter, focus should be placed on the aspects that can be altered and efforts should be made to enhance them.

To illustrate, with regard to personal growth, should one identify an instance of excessive exertion and an absence of rationality, it would be advisable to implement a conscious change, given the potential for such a shift. Once this transformation has occurred, it is probable that an inner drive to take action will emerge. With respect to marriage, it is important to note that relocating to a different location may not be a viable solution in the immediate term. However, it is possible to enhance intimacy with one's partner, including fostering communication and idea exchange, discussing future plans, and making arrangements. This process is likely to evoke feelings of warmth and happiness. The same principle applies to work. Identifying areas for improvement, such as developing business skills and abilities in other domains, can facilitate growth and enhance one's capabilities. Subsequently, it may be possible to join a company with greater potential for advancement. In summary, it is essential to recognize that one can take action to improve the current situation.

Once action is initiated, the painful feelings will subside gradually. This is because action is sometimes the enemy of negative emotions. As a result, confidence and strength will be gained.

It is also important to learn to view oneself in a developmental light while acknowledging one's strengths. It is inaccurate to claim that one lacks strengths, as everyone possesses them, including the individual in question. Based on the description provided, it can be seen that the ability to express oneself is not deficient. Additionally, the decision to seek assistance demonstrates motivation, which is a positive attribute. Therefore, it can be concluded that the individual possesses strengths and positive attributes.

It is my hope that this response will prove beneficial to you. Should you wish to engage in further communication, you are invited to click on the "Find a Coach" link at the foot of this page, which will enable you to contact me directly.

Hello question asker! I'm happy to answer your question.

The questioner is depressed, anxious, and in pain. They don't know what their future direction is or what motivates them.

I don't know what I want and I can't control myself. I'll give the questioner a little strength. There are so many bad things in life, and it's normal to feel bad about them.

Unpleasant things at work and in life make people feel bad. What's the questioner's passion?

Have you ever thought about learning something you love and doing it?

There are many words of encouragement online. I won't go into detail, but I will discuss the questioner's state of mind. Since the questioner asked the question on a platform, we can only provide some simple analysis.

How to handle the workplace

Often at work, we are made to take responsibility for something we didn't do. We feel angry, anxious, and depressed.

Are these emotions helpful? No.

A journalist interviewed people who had achieved success in the workplace. More than 99% of them didn't like their current job.

Their answer is: "Do your job well, even if you don't love it."

The world and the times are always changing. There is only one type of person who can excel in their position: those who treat their work as a form of spiritual practice.

We are all ordinary people. Our work may not be what we love, and we may not always be good at what we do. But if you get lazy, afraid, or slack, someone who is not afraid will take your place.

It's better to change than to complain. It's better to take action than to be anxious. It's better to improve yourself than to envy others.

Tough customers and demanding bosses are obstacles at work but help you grow.

A Zhihu question asks for career advice. The most-liked answer says, "Work is not a fun park. It's a testing ground."

"Work is a form of cultivation. People and events help us grow. We must develop our character when facing challenges and our mind when interacting with others.

When you feel tired and miserable, you grow the fastest.

Pursue your own happiness.

If something is painful, don't focus on the pain. Focus on the happiness you want instead. For example, taking care of a child is painful, but drinking Pu'er tea is happy. Don't let pain stop you from pursuing happiness.

What makes you happy?

Find your own happiness. You might find motivation and purpose while you're at it.

Even if it is painful, remember what happiness you are pursuing. Don't forget to pursue the happiness you want. What kind of life does the questioner want to have?

What makes the questioner happy? The questioner needs to know themselves to find happiness.

I hope this helps the questioner.

Hello, question asker!

It sounds like you are currently facing some challenges at work and in your marriage.

You're feeling a little lost and confused about life, right?

I'm not sure if you're a male or female friend, but I'm excited to find out! How long has this situation lasted?

I'm excited to hear more about how your current situation is affecting your sleep and work!

You can see that the current pain is related to the conflict and entanglement in your heart, which is great because it means you can work on resolving it!

In terms of relationships, long-distance relationships have too many exciting, ever-changing factors that make you reluctant to let go.

At work, you seem to have fallen into professional burnout, which is very difficult to deal with. But you can do it!

There's a common knowledge in psychology that human nature is to seek benefits and avoid harm. This means you can avoid pain and seek pleasure!

As long as you are a human being, you can hardly escape this rule of human nature. And that's a good thing! It means that happiness and pain are closely related to us, which means we can work towards achieving happiness and avoid pain.

And we get to deal with it every day! Everything we do and say seems to be guided by this principle.

For example, we all love to hear nice things and do what we like, not to mention making friends, working, and so much more!

We will feel troubled and suffer. But we can also feel excited and happy!

Have you ever wondered why we have such a good memory for painful memories alone?

According to evolutionary psychology, in the process of our further evolution, in order to escape the aggression of wild animals,

We develop into highly alert animals, which is pretty amazing! Our genes and subconscious are like a treasure trove of experiences just waiting to be explored.

Our amazing brains can search through all our past experiences!

Our amazing brains can search through all the experiences we've had and find them again!

It's totally natural to experience past suffering as if it were a movie playing over and over again!

We can choose to focus on the events that cause us pain, and we can choose to strengthen them again and again.

And the so-called pain is even more profound!

This is why it's so important to understand that both the subconscious mind and the collective subconscious mind store information about how to deal with dangerous threats.

And our senses are therefore particularly sensitive to pain!

So, pain stems from our innate human need for a sense of security—and that's a good thing!

And so, in the grand finale, we can say with confidence that pain is our nature! This is why Buddhism teaches that life is inherently painful.

From evolutionary psychology, we make an incredible discovery: our suffering stems from a reaction and response to all living things that threaten our lives.

It's an instinctive emotional response, and it's also a fantastic resource for self-protection!

And so we find that

Pain is actually a treasure in life!

We get stuck in the experience of pain, but we forget that pain is actually a signal that we need to grow!

And the best part is, when you overcome a kind of pain, you will gain a skill for survival!

When you gain a skill, you gain a kind of happiness!

And so, as Lao Tzu said, "Misfortune is the foundation of happiness. Pain and pleasure are opposites that form a unity."

Therefore, there is no absolute pain, nor absolute happiness—and that's a good thing!

It's just one of the amazing experiences of life!

So, get ready to embrace it all! As long as you are alive, you are destined to suffer!

Philosophy gives us the incredible opportunity to think from multiple perspectives, which can help us make our lives happier despite the pain!

Religion gives us a spiritual home for comfort, while psychology has begun to teach the amazing technique of "turning grief into strength"!

And the best part is, you can find the resources for growth and happiness in the midst of pain!

The first step to happiness is facing up to pain!

Embrace the challenge! Confronting the pain brought on by setbacks head-on is an essential lesson in life. It's how we grow and overcome.

So it is said that the most successful people in the world

This is the person who fails the most and learns from it! Behind every successful invention are hundreds and thousands of failures!

Think about when we were young and learning to walk! We fell over so many times, but we kept trying and eventually we got there!

And we learned to run! Did we feel any pain at the time? Absolutely not! It was all part of the adventure of growing up.

And second, learn to be grateful!

Gratitude is your ticket to happiness! A grateful heart is a happy heart, and the more gratitude you have, the happier you'll be.

And there's more! Gratitude is the perfect expression of accepting ourselves and the world. It's a positive suggestion for our own happiness in life.

And third, make exercise a part of your life with regular exercise to develop the habit of exercising!

A strong body is the foundation of our lives, and it's an amazing thing!

But it's also an amazing way for us to make up for any lack of security in our subconscious. When you are strong and healthy,

You can feel that you are responsible for living in this world, and that's a great feeling! Not only are you protecting yourself, but you're also making a positive impact on those around you.

And you can even protect others, which is a great way to boost your sense of value and happiness!

Fourth, get involved in public welfare work!

We are social animals who thrive when we interact with society and are recognized by social evaluation!

And the best part is that when you do public welfare things, it not only compensates for your sense of worthlessness,

And it can even help you learn to compensate for the inadequacy of your social relationships, so that you can enhance your own value in happiness!

Psychologist Adler has a great criterion for determining whether a treatment case is cured. It's all about seeing if the case can adapt to social interactions and be of benefit to others!

Absolutely! You can do something that is beneficial to others. (This example is my personal interpretation.)

Fifth, pray! Make prayer a regular practice.

And when we pray,

Absorb their hopes and good wishes! You can also project the best things about yourself onto others.

And the best part is, you'll get a boost that will feed back into the spiritual energy that drives our existence!

And now for the best part! Learn to share your happiness.

When you share a bit of happiness with others,

You will gain ten or a hundred times the happiness! This is a tried-and-tested little trick that really works. For example, when you tell a joke to the people around you,

And you'll feel so happy when you make everyone around you laugh!

And finally, I would like to make up for it! Since my knowledge of your personalized data is limited, the above explanation is for reference only.

I'm Consultant Yao, and I'm thrilled to be following you!

Hello, question asker, it is a pleasure to connect with you in this way.

Before I give you my response, I would like to express my admiration for your courage in seeking help for your difficulties. It is not easy to come to this platform to ask for help, but you have taken the step of doing so, giving yourself the opportunity to release and relieve yourself of your burdens. I am truly happy for you!

At the beginning of your description, you used three very distinctive feeling words to describe your overall state: depressed, painful, and difficult to break free. Then you talked about the routine of work, where you can't see much of a future, and there's not much motivation for you to work hard at your job.

Despite being in a marriage, you feel unhappy because you are in different places. It seems that you cannot get what you need from your partner, and instead, your partner gives you a lot of heavy feelings. You are caught up in an online relationship that is sometimes good and sometimes bad, sometimes close and sometimes far away.

Sometimes you have a lot of things you want to do and look forward to a better life. Other times you feel like you don't have any energy at all. Going to work during the day is challenging, and not going to work at night is also difficult.

After carefully reviewing your description, I have noticed that I have been using the personal pronoun "you" to refer to the feelings, expectations, and states you have described. This is because I believe it is important to highlight that you have a clear understanding of your own state and expectations for alleviating it. You have a clear vision of what you want to do and what kind of outcome you want to achieve. However, the next second often evokes a distant and abstract feeling. This can sometimes lead to a lack of motivation. When faced with various negative emotions, self-doubt and self-attack can arise.

This could be seen as an opportunity to challenge some of your own less constructive ways of thinking and dealing with things. However, if you find this challenging, it can lead to feelings of exhaustion, as if nothing you do is right.

If I might humbly offer you two words, they would be "forgiveness" and "lying down." We all make mistakes. With that in mind, it might be helpful to consider that there is no such thing as absolute right or wrong in the world. Regardless of our personal beliefs, it is important to be tolerant of ourselves. As long as we live and take care of ourselves within the limits of the law, it is more important than anything else.

In addition, you mentioned feeling tired. Given the comprehensive nature of your previous remarks, this succinct expression can be seen as a concise summary.

After all this discussion, I would like to offer you my encouragement in the form of the following suggestion:

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider letting go of the burden you are carrying, as it might allow you to move forward more freely.

I would gently encourage you to live for yourself and for those who really care about you.

No matter what path you choose to take in the future or what kind of person you become, you are a unique and valuable presence in this world.

I would like to reiterate the importance of looking after yourself.

I hope this message finds you well.

My name is Pan Fan, and I would like to extend my love and appreciation to the world.

Hello, stranger! From what you've told me, I can see that you're confused, powerless, and in a bit of an internal conflict. But there's still a glimmer of hope in your heart! You're looking for a shot in the arm, and I'm here to give it to you. I'm going to tell you that if you keep doing what you're doing, you will definitely succeed and your hopes will definitely come true!

First, let's dive into the exciting aspects mentioned in the question:

At work: You can't see a future for yourself and don't have much motivation to work hard. This makes me feel your fatigue. Perhaps it's been a long time since you felt a sense of accomplishment, and you've lost your motivation to move forward. But there's so much you can do to change that!

Marriage: You don't feel happy, you can't get anything from your partner, and you feel a lot of pressure. But guess what? You can overcome these challenges!

——(1) Long-distance relationships are indeed very hard. Distance can easily isolate the feelings of two people and turn communication into a rational exchange. But there is a way to overcome this challenge! Body language is an important emotional communication tool, and it is possible to achieve this despite the distance.

(2) At the same time, you can see that the current mode of interaction between you and your husband is one of giving and receiving. You are asking for things from your partner, perhaps emotional care, comfort, and attention, while your partner is receiving, perhaps due to work pressure or a less-than-ideal state of mind. They can only give you what energy they have, which is why you feel so weighed down, stressed, and powerless. But here's the good news! You can change this dynamic.

Emotionally, it can be a rollercoaster falling in love with someone online!

——(1) When some emotions in a marriage are not satisfied, we often look outside for them. However, in the process of looking outside, you still give your partner absolute power over your emotions. You will be happy when your partner cares about you, and you will be disappointed when they neglect you. Your emotions will be driven to fluctuate, and you will be torn between gain and loss.

(2) You're facing an internal battle. Your mind is telling you that you shouldn't do this, that this is excessive behavior. But your heart is yearning for support and a place to rely on. You're caught between two forces, but you can break free! This internal conflict will make you feel tired, powerless, and at a loss. But you can conquer it!

△ Go back to your heart and find the answer!

Emotionally, you may feel like you're carrying a lot of weight on your shoulders, but you're not alone! Repressed emotions can make you feel tired, but there are ways to combat this.

(1) Now, the whole person's state may be in a very low situation, unable to muster the energy for anything. But, this is an opportunity for you to recognize when those depressed, sad, and grief-stricken emotions are trying to break through your emotional defense! When you do, you can choose to take action to prevent yourself from collapsing.

(2) This situation is the result of a period of accumulation. Perhaps at the beginning it wasn't so serious. You just felt like sighing, and then thought, "Forget it, that's it, I guess it will pass." But guess what? Every sigh, every loss, and every depressed emotion has not passed. They slowly accumulate in your body.

(3) Perhaps because the couple lives in different places, they are unable to have a good emotional connection. Many things and emotions slowly accumulate and build up inside. At first, they may not report the bad news, and later, they may not have anything to say, or the other person may not be able to solve any problems. A little emotional suppression and the couple's feelings grow cold. But there's hope!

Needs: the desire to be loved and seen—and you can be!

(1) Why do so many emotions arise? There is a need in the heart, and when you embrace it, you'll feel like a baby, wanting hugs, kisses, and care, reaching out to get what you lack inside.

(2) When you are unhappy, you may hope that your partner can understand and comfort you; when you are stressed and tired, you may hope that your colleagues or family members can encourage and support you; when you are sick and sad, you may hope that someone can take care of you and warm you.

(3) It's just that when you have so many needs and the outside world doesn't give you the response you want, and your inner needs are not met, you will feel disappointed, aggrieved, and sad. But you can change this! If you stay in a depressed and negative state for a long time, you will feel depressed and powerless. But you can break free from this negative spiral!

(4) At this point, you may want to change and break free from this negative spiral, but you feel that you are unable to do so, as you are being dragged down by a sense of powerlessness. The thoughts in your mind may be: "No one outside can satisfy me, and I can't do it on my own." This sense of failure will drag you into even deeper negative emotions. But, you can change this! You can break free from this negative spiral and start feeling empowered!

☀️ You already have everything you need within you to be strong!

Look inward to soothe your heart!

(1) A baby is a child who has not yet had the chance to grow up. She has no abilities yet and can only express everything by crying. She is waiting for us to solve all her problems for her. Each of us has an inner child inside, a child who has not yet had the chance to grow up. She needs to be seen, loved, cared for, encouraged, and supported.

(2) You are the adult who gets to accompany her growth! Return to your inner self and turn everything you grab from the outside into everything you give yourself. Let the inner child grow slowly, and your inner strength will become stronger and stronger!

Use external forces to help you grow!

(1) Reading: Reading is one of the best things you can do for yourself! I highly recommend two books: "Meet the Unknown Self" by Zhang Defen, which will help you look inward, see your inner self, see your inner child, and understand your inner child; and "The Road Less Traveled," which will help you learn how to love, how to view problems and solve them, and how to become a more independent and mature person.

(2) Meditation: Meditation practice is an amazing way to release pent-up emotions from the past. It's time to see them and clear them away! When you let your emotions flow, you'll feel energized. Meditation also helps you become more focused, which improves efficiency and thinking at work.

(3) Talking things out is like seeking encouragement on a platform—it's a source of support! Talking things out can release emotions, help you sort out your thoughts, and make you feel warm.

Things might seem a little chaotic right now, but I promise you, when you sort things out and start organizing, the way forward will slowly become clear! ?

I wish you the absolute best! I love you so much!

Greetings, question asker. My name is Qingqing, and I am a social worker specializing in whales.

From the aforementioned description, it is evident that the subject is experiencing confusion and a sense of helplessness, while simultaneously expressing a desire to alter the current situation. It is this author's hope that the subsequent analysis will prove to be a satisfactory response to the subject's inquiries.

(1) Based on the questioner's description, it can be observed that the questioner consistently attempts to ascertain his own value through his relationships with others. Consequently, he engages in a multitude of romantic relationships. In essence, the questioner is also exploring his identity and deriving self-worth from each relationship.

(2) This is also indicative of a lack of self-identity. An individual with a well-defined sense of self-identity is able to view and accept themselves and the external world in a rational manner, to embrace life, to refrain from dwelling on negative emotions such as lamenting, complaining, or remorse, to have clear life goals, and to experience self-worth and social recognition and approval in the process of pursuing and gradually approaching those goals.

A sense of identity provides the foundation for confidence and self-esteem, while also enabling individuals to resist the influence of external opinions. It fosters a sense of approval for one's own thoughts and actions.

The question thus arises as to where the questioner's sense of value lies. Is it dependent on others, or does it come from one's own self-worth?

It would be prudent for the questioner to consider that, rather than attempting to establish optimal interpersonal relationships, it may be more beneficial to prioritize personal growth and development. When one is able to ascertain self-worth from an internal source, it may signify the attainment of a crucial understanding.

I wish you the best of luck! (Yi Xinli Whale Social Worker)

Do you have a dream?

Your current state of life is like a ball of twine. You are floundering in it, unable to find an exit, with obstacles and entanglements everywhere. But you can do it! The more you struggle, the tighter it becomes.

What is often needed at this time is not resistance or struggle, but calmness. And when you find calmness, you can balance yourself out!

Once you've calmed down, it's time to start dreaming! This is the best way to overcome your anxiety and confusion.

Dreams are not only used to achieve, but also to support the soul. Find what you love and pursue your dreams! You will no longer be tormented by the confusion of the moment.

Be happy with what you have right now!

The good news is that you can overcome human suffering and anxiety! It all starts with letting go of the past and facing the future with confidence.

You can't change the past, and you can't control the future. But you can change your mindset! When you stop obsessing over things you can't change, you'll feel a world of difference.

We can only live in the present moment, and that's a wonderful thing! The present moment is the only thing we can grasp, so if you do everything well in the present moment, you can live every moment of your life well!

The trajectory of life is not a straight line; it's an infinite number of successive points! Each point is a present moment, and each present moment is the real existence. The present you is the most perfect you!

You absolutely can get out of any difficult situation without help from others! It's all in your mind.

Best of luck!

Hello, question owner!

From what you've told me, it's clear you're currently confused and in a state of decadence. You don't know what you want or what you desire, which is causing you great pain and depression.

I need to know how long the questioner has been feeling this way: depressed, listless, suffering from work during the day and not working at night. When did this situation first occur, and what specifically happened at the time?

Tell me about your relationships with other people. Do you have any physical problems?

You're asking these questions because you understand that psychological problems require a multi-faceted approach. You're looking at the psychological, physiological, and social environment perspectives.

A person's psychological distress is rarely without reason. I experienced a period of deep depression after a fierce argument with my husband and a subsequent change in my work. Some people are prone to being knocked down because they have physical illnesses, are relatively alienated from their families, and do not receive care.

The questioner stated that there is no future in their work and that they are merely going through the motions. Their marriage is in a different city, and they do not feel close or happy. They are involved in an online relationship that feels distant and not real. They feel like they are going too far with many things, and they cannot regulate their behavior with reason.

I don't know what happened to the questioner, but I'm certain this sentence is a critical point. It presents a conflict between the id and the superego. These points are enough to make the questioner feel decadent and unable to find a way out.

You need to become full of energy.

First, you need to think about your mission. What is the future you want?

Tell me what you're most interested in. Have you tried it before?

If you haven't tried it yet, start trying now. What factors are preventing you from doing the things you like?

2. Start exercising. When you're alone, your mind can wander and you'll think about more things. So fill your free time with meaningful things, such as reading, playing badminton, jogging, playing basketball, etc. In short, find a sport you like and get moving. Depressed people have a lot of negative energy, and exercise is the best way to dispel it. Exercise also releases endorphins, which make us feel better. After a proper workout, it also helps us sleep better. So exercise is the best choice.

3. The questioner said that the marriage relationship has not made him happy. Think carefully about what problems have arisen in your marriage. If you are in different places, is there a way to be together? Make an effort to improve your sense of happiness in your marriage.

Read books by Wu Zhihong, Chen Haixian, or Ananda's "Yes to Life." These are all excellent books that will nourish your soul. While reading, think about them in the context of your own life. They are very inspiring. Read more and read good books.

In summary, find your own interests and hobbies to enrich your life. Secondly, learn how to get along with your partner, improve your sense of well-being, do more things that may increase your sense of well-being, and do less things that will constantly bring you more trouble. Get moving. Read more good books, and I am certain that the questioner will live an increasingly wonderful life!

You've got this!

Hello, host! I really hope my answer can be helpful to you.

After reading your description, I can feel your various emotions, troubles, and dilemmas, and I'm excited to help you! It seems that you are not particularly satisfied with your work, marriage, relationships, and life, but you don't seem to know what to do or how to deal with your current situation. Let's change that!

I really hope you can feel some support and warmth. I also believe that the current difficulties are only temporary. With our own hard work and adjustments, things will definitely get better and better. Believe in yourself!

I've got some great suggestions for you!

Let's talk about work!

The original poster said that they seem to be experiencing some burnout at work and don't have much motivation. Therefore, it seems that you don't feel much sense of worth and accomplishment at work, right? Well, don't worry! This is totally normal. Most of us do experience a sense of burnout after working for a period of time. But you know what? This is an opportunity for you to reflect on what your initial intention was when you first wanted to work here.

At that time, why wouldn't we be so excited and eager to work here? When you rediscover your original passion, you'll realize that the work you're doing now is actually something you once felt was very important. You'll see the meaning and value of your work again!

On the other hand, when we lack motivation at work, it may be that the work goals we have set for ourselves are not very suitable. Either the goals are too low, and it is too easy for you to complete them, so that even if you complete them, you still feel that you have achieved nothing. This is an easy fix! Just raise the bar a little. Set goals that are challenging but achievable. This will boost your motivation to act. In fact, research shows that only moderately difficult goals can stimulate our motivation to act. The kind of goal that you can reach by standing on your tiptoes can make you more motivated to complete it. So, go ahead and set some challenging goals! You'll be amazed at how motivated you'll feel when you reach them.

This is great news for anyone looking to set themselves up for success at work! When I first started answering questions in the Q&A Hall, I could answer at most one question a day. At that time, I set a goal for myself to answer one question every day without fail. Now, I can answer an average of three questions a day, so I have set a goal for myself to answer three questions every day. However, if I had set a goal for myself to answer three questions every day from the very beginning, I would have found it very difficult and would have felt a failure, making it difficult to persevere. Now, if I set a goal for myself to answer only one question every day, I would find it too easy and would easily lose the motivation to continue answering questions. I think that in the future, as my abilities improve further, the goals I set for myself to answer questions will also increase with my improved abilities and will match my abilities at each stage. In this way, I will have the motivation to continue answering questions and can keep answering them!

In short, here's my advice for work: find meaning and value in your work, create a sense of pleasure and accomplishment, set appropriate goals, and keep improving so you can keep growing!

2. About marriage and relationships

It's clear that you're not happy in your marriage, and I think I know why. It seems like you're looking for that sense of happiness in online dating, but it's not quite what you're looking for, is it? I get the feeling that you don't feel secure in the relationship. But here's the good news:

Your sense of security in a relationship is something you can create for yourself. And the happiness in a marriage is something you can actively choose to cultivate by interacting with your partner in a positive way.

What's more, there's a natural conflict between love and distance. But if we handle it well, we can make sure love wins!

When two people are in different places and cannot be by each other's side, it is easy to feel insecure, which can lead to a crisis of trust. But don't worry! If the emotional and trust crises that arise cannot be resolved through timely and effective communication, the relationship will grow further apart, and a breakup may be the result. But there's no need to fret! There are plenty of ways to overcome these challenges and keep your relationship strong.

Distance can be a challenge, but it also presents an opportunity to strengthen your love. The perfect love has three elements: intimacy, passion, and commitment.

The good news is that intimacy can be maintained and enhanced with the right efforts from both partners. However, it's important to recognize that long-distance relationships can present unique challenges. Sometimes a hug can be a great solution, but it's not always easy to express emotions in the same way when you're apart. Coupled with the differences in living environments and social circles, it's understandable that you and your partner might have less and less common ground over time. But don't worry! This doesn't mean it's impossible to understand each other. The key is to keep communicating and working on your relationship. And remember, trust is an essential part of any relationship, so it's important to keep building it.

There are so many exciting possibilities for two people who have been apart for a long time! An ambiguous message, a message or phone call that cannot be answered in time, a group photo with other people of the opposite sex, a lie that conceals one's true feelings—all of these can be great opportunities to grow and learn. This lack of intimacy is the key reason why many long-distance relationships fail due to distance and time, but it also means there's so much room for improvement and growth!

So, how can we overcome the uncertainties brought about by being apart and maintain a harmonious and long-lasting relationship?

1. Learn to communicate deeply and build a trust-based relationship!

The most challenging part of being apart is communication. Many people believe that communication is all about language. But here's an amazing fact: in actual communication, the influence of verbal information is very small, accounting for only about 7%. That's because tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language account for a whopping 93%!

This is why it's so important to make the most of your time together when you're apart! Even if you're using video conferencing, you'll still miss out on the full experience of touch and smell. So, it's vital to make the most of your time together and really connect.

When it comes to long-distance communication, there are a few simple tips that can make a world of difference! First, make sure you're reporting daily. Second, learn to share. Third, avoid cold wars. Fourth, express your feelings and needs in a timely manner. Fifth, share each other's lives. Sixth, let the other person understand your living environment and dynamics. Seventh, enhance each other's sense of security.

2. Make your rituals stronger! A short separation is better than a new marriage.

Preserving the love between two people requires a sense of ritual. For couples living apart, it is absolutely essential to strengthen the sense of ritual to achieve the amazing state of being apart but no less in love than when you were newlyweds!

Set some rules and get ready to make your relationship even stronger!

You can work out some rules for getting along together to ensure regular romantic interactions between the two of you. These could include saying goodnight to each other every night, having regular video calls, speaking up when you have a problem rather than bottling it up, and trying not to let arguments last overnight.

Create romance!

Expressing your thoughts and love for the other person is a great way to make them feel cared for. Always surprise the other person with something nice! Write them a few lines of love words, record an interesting voice clip, or sing them a love song. If you travel a lot, buy the other person some carefully selected gifts when you reunite. Something they've mentioned to you is a great idea! This will make them feel loved and cared for, even if you're apart for a short time.

3. Create romantic expectations and harness the power of promises to make your relationship even more incredible!

Commitment is one of the most important elements of love. It's what keeps long-distance relationships going strong! Without it, it can be tough to get through the loneliness and longing that come with being apart. So, when you're apart, make the most of your time together and try to create some exciting expectations for the next time you meet. Be as specific as you can and look forward to it together! For example, you could say, "We will meet in a month, and I will cook a big meal for you, so you can taste the loving cooking I have practiced for you."

Absolutely! If you can, try to solve the problem of living apart and spend time together. This will really help you develop intimacy. If that's not possible, then you just need to make a commitment to the other person and think about how you can make up for the emotional loss to the other person so that they really feel at ease. This is the best way to maintain a stable and harmonious intimate relationship!

Love is often simple and pure, but relationships need to be managed. And we can do it! We just need to learn how to manage our intimate relationships and deal with many practical problems, so that we can reap the happiness from the relationship.

3. Managing emotions

You may feel like you're caught in a web of conflicting emotions and thoughts. But you can choose to free yourself from these feelings! There are ways to release your inner emotions and thoughts. With time, you can find your own answers.

These amazing methods can all be used to relieve emotions!

1. Socialize with the right friends and confide in them about your worries and confusion. Here, it is important to emphasize "the right ones": those who can give you support and encouragement, and those with whom you feel comfortable, are the right friends. It's so important to have friends you can turn to when you're feeling down. Look for people who can give you a boost when you need it and who you feel comfortable around. Having the right friends can make a huge difference in how you feel!

2. Go for a run, play some tennis, or do whatever sport you love! Not only will you get your body moving, but you'll also relax your mind.

3. Writing therapy: Get ready to let it all out! Write down all your inner feelings and thoughts on paper. Don't worry about whether your handwriting is clear and neat, or about the logic of the content. Just express your feelings as much as you like!

4. Have fun releasing your anger by hitting soft objects with pillows and sandbags!

5. Let the empty chair technique help you release those pent-up emotions! Find a room, place an empty chair, and imagine the person you want to confide in is sitting in it. You can express yourself to the chair—anger, abuse, or whatever you need to get out—and watch those emotions flow away!

Best of luck! I'm rooting for you!

In the act of embracing the individual posing the question, it becomes evident that they are currently experiencing a state of confusion and anxiety.

You indicate that you consistently experience discomfort.

The workplace is a source of distress, as the individual reports a lack of clarity regarding future prospects and a corresponding lack of motivation to take action.

The pain persists when confronted with the reality of life without work at night, given the current state of one's marriage and the associated emotional burden. Additionally, online relationships, while occasionally offering a sense of connection, often feel distant and detached.

In regard to one's relationship with the self, there are instances when expectations are experienced as a state of being, yet there are also instances when these expectations manifest as a pervasive sense of exhaustion and negativity. This cyclical and involuntary negativity can lead to feelings of exhaustion.

You indicate that your life is painful and that you seek encouragement. In light of this, I wish to offer you a measure of praise, as your expectation of receiving encouragement suggests that you maintain positive expectations for your life and trust in the kindness of strangers. This is a commendable and potent force within your life.

I am unaware of your innermost desires and aspirations, but I am willing to embark on a journey of discovery with you.

One might inquire as to the expectations one holds for oneself. Such expectations represent a significant aspect of one's inner aspirations.

What kind of person do you aspire to be? What are the sources of your dissatisfaction with your current self?

What factors contribute to your perception of a lack of motivation at work? Which aspects of your current role do you find unappealing? What are your expectations regarding your professional future?

What are your expectations of marriage? What factors contribute to your current level of dissatisfaction with the reality of your marriage?

What, precisely, constitutes a state of satisfaction?

The objective of these questions is to facilitate a more comprehensive understanding of one's own expectations by prompting introspective inquiry.

Additionally, one might inquire as to what expectations are held with regard to the external world. Expectations of the external world represent a significant aspect of one's outward aspirations.

What are your expectations regarding the treatment you desire from others? What are your aspirations regarding professional achievements?

What assistance and backing can be expected from others? What are the expectations regarding the benefits that may be derived from marriage?

What is your desired treatment from your wife? What kind of external environment do you want to live in?

What factors contribute to the discrepancy between your desired living environment and your current circumstances?

The objective of these questions is to facilitate an objective consideration of the impact of one's social environment on one's expectations.

By examining the expectations of one's external and internal environments, it is my hope to assist the individual in developing a more nuanced understanding of their true aspirations in life.

Should you wish to communicate further, you are invited to click on the "Find a Coach" option, which will enable you to communicate with me via the Heart Exploration Coach.

It is my hope that the aforementioned suggestions will prove to be a source of inspiration.

I wish you the best of success in your endeavors. Sincerely,

From what you've shared, I can sense the challenges and discomfort you're facing.

I believe you may still have some awareness. It's possible you've come to realize that the things you're currently pursuing aren't bringing you happiness, but rather causing you pain.

Given my own experiences, I can empathize with your feelings.

I wonder if you've noticed a curious phenomenon: when we demand more from the outside, we tend to feel less happy. Conversely, when we give more, we often find ourselves happier.

When we are content, we are rich; when we are not content, we are always poor. What is the meaning of happiness and what is the meaning of contentment?

Perhaps it would be beneficial to consider whether earning more money now than when you first graduated has resulted in greater happiness. Similarly, it may be helpful to reflect on whether continuing on this path could lead to even more money in the future, but potentially at the cost of reduced happiness.

It might be helpful to consider that the comfort of a stranger cannot necessarily provide lasting happiness. Even if you experience it for a time, it's possible that you may still desire more. It's understandable to think that you might be disappointed if this happens again.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider what you could do in this situation.

Perhaps it would be beneficial to consider ending the online relationship and focusing on strengthening your marriage. When you learn to love, you can feel the power of love.

It's important to remember that asking for something is not the same as showing love. When love is asked for, it can sometimes feel like a need rather than a choice. If you treat your wife with respect and kindness, you'll be able to experience love and happiness in your relationship.

Given your actions, it is understandable that you would feel guilty and experience pain. It would be unusual if you did not. It is also important to recognize that those who betray their families and commit adultery may not be experiencing happiness.

Perhaps it would be helpful to remember that they just can't control themselves. Now that you've experienced it yourself, it might be worth considering why you would want to go down the wrong path.

2. It would be beneficial to repair your relationship with your parents and do something for them. It is possible to feel the purest love from our parents, provided we haven't rejected it ourselves.

3. It could be said that greed is something of a temptation in itself, offering a little sweetness at first, but then leading us to lose even more. Perhaps the key to freedom is to recognize these temptations and work to overcome them.