Hello, landlord. I hope my answer helps.
My advice is:
You need a positive mindset to recover.
If you don't believe in yourself, no recovery technique will work.
If you don't believe in yourself, no recovery technique will help.
The Pygmalion effect says you get what you expect, not what you want.
The Pygmalion effect says you get what you expect, not what you want.
If you expect good things, they will happen. If you expect bad things, they will happen too.
This effect has inspired me to think about the importance of positive beliefs. When we have positive beliefs and attitudes, we are more likely to succeed.
If you believe in yourself, you'll act positively and get positive results.
If we expect to be a certain way, we'll work towards that goal. If we think we can't do it, we'll stay the same.
Those who want to get back with their exes often have negative thoughts like: What should I do now? What if I get rejected again?
The same is true of reconciliation. Friends who want to get back together with their exes often have negative thoughts like: What should I do now? What if I get rejected again?
What if he has a new girlfriend? What if he contacts me?
...
This is about having enough confidence and being positive. Give yourself positive thoughts and replace negative ones. This is the basis for recovery.
2. Growth is more important than success.
Why are we getting back together?
You broke up because you didn't feel good together. Being together doesn't mean it'll last forever. You need to figure out why you felt uncomfortable together and how to fix the problems that made you want to separate.
If you just want to use tricks to win back your partner, you can't guarantee you'll stay together. You need wisdom, not tricks, to have a long, stable relationship.
You need to find the answer and manage the relationship.
What matters more than getting back together is whether you can manage a good relationship, whether you have grown, whether the problems between you have been resolved, whether he has fallen in love with you again, and whether you can be together in the future.
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If you don't work through the issues, it won't help and you'll break up again.
We need to focus on our own growth and how we think about love. When we have the right thoughts, we can solve problems on our own. Then, when our relationships change, we can cope without giving up.
If we can grow from a painful loss of love, winning back the love is a side effect. When we understand how to manage relationships, change our views on love, and have a positive attitude, we can be calm and at ease in love.
3. Good management makes relationships last.
3. Good management makes relationships last.
If you don't know how to manage your relationship, it won't last.
Love is pure but not perfect. It has its own characteristics. When two people get along, they are in a relationship. A relationship is different from love because it needs to be managed.
To make our relationships last, we need to learn how to manage them.
First, we need to understand how relationships develop.
Intimacy develops in four stages, each with its own characteristics and risks.
1. Passion.
1. Passionate period.
The passionate period is the first stage of intimacy. It is also the period when it is most likely to lead to a marriage of convenience. During this period, we tend to see only the good things in each other. We like each other no matter what we think. However, this feeling of happiness is due to the action of dopamine, which can only last for three to six months. Therefore, the good feelings during this stage are only temporary. They are not enough to support a lasting and happy marriage. After that, the intimate relationship will enter a period of adjustment.
The honeymoon period is the first stage of intimacy. It is the easiest time to get married. During this period, we see only the good things in each other. We also pretend to be the ideal lover. However, this feeling of happiness is only possible because of dopamine. It can only last for three to six months. Therefore, the beautiful feelings during this stage are only short-lived. They are not enough to support a lasting and beautiful marriage. After that, the intimate relationship will enter a period of adjustment.
2. The adjustment period.
2. The adjustment period.
During the conflict stage of an intimate relationship, problems emerge. Passion fades, problems with each other are exposed, love is confronted with reality, and the other person is either liked or disliked. This challenges the relationship.
People also spend more time alone during this period. They rely on each other less.
You show your weaknesses. If you feel that these problems can't be fixed, you want to change the other person, and the other person wants you to change. This can lead to arguments and even breakups.
You have shown your weaknesses. If you feel the conflicts are unresolvable, you want to change the other person, and the other person wants you to change. This can easily lead to arguments and even a breakup.
The starting period is the hardest in love.
3. Introspection period.
After the trial period, couples start to reflect on themselves. They look at their own patterns and think about what they can change. This is an important time for growth and rebuilding relationships.
4. Enlightenment period.
4. Enlightenment period.
This stage is also called the enlightenment stage. Partners learn to connect spiritually and embrace each other with love. They also accept their own childhood shadows and embrace their inner child. This leads to a deeper, more intimate relationship.
Not many relationships reach this stage, but it's worth striving for.
Intimate relationships have stages of growth. Problems and conflicts are normal. The key is to understand each other and solve problems. It's better to get married when you can solve problems. Even if love and marriage change, it's easier than other relationships.
To have a long-lasting and stable intimate relationship, we need to work hard to successfully go through these four stages.
To have a long-lasting and stable intimate relationship, we need to successfully go through these four stages. How do we do that?
1. Accept the other person for who they are.
We are all different. Our personalities are shaped by things like our upbringing and education.
If you want to change someone, you'll be troubled because it's hard to change someone.
If the other person doesn't want to change, there's nothing we can do. As the book "A Change of Heart" says, there are only three things in the world: our own affairs, other people's affairs, and the affairs of heaven. We worry about other people's affairs and the affairs of heaven because we don't control our own affairs.
We can't control the other person's behavior and thoughts. But we can do things we can control: express our needs, express our love and respect for her, accept her, understand her...
We can't control the other person's behavior and thoughts. But we can control how we act. We can express our needs, love and respect, accept her, and understand her.
This will influence her and bring about changes.
When we accept others as they are, there is less trouble in our hearts and better relationships.
When we accept others for who they are, we can get along with them better. This makes our relationships more harmonious.
2. Learn to communicate deeply and build trust.
2. Learn to communicate deeply and build trust.
The goal of communication is to get to know each other better, understand each other, and build a relationship.
Communication is about understanding each other and building a relationship.
Deep communication requires you to share your feelings and needs with each other. Nonviolent communication can be used to do this.
Note: Be objective when stating facts. Expressed needs and feelings must be your own. Requests for the other person's actions must be specific.
Also, talk every day, share, and avoid conflict.
When you express your feelings and needs, share each other's lives, and let the other person understand your life status and dynamics, this can enhance each other's sense of security.
3. Make rituals stronger.
Rituals help love last. How can we make rituals stronger?
Make rules.
Make a plan to stay in touch. Talk about your problems. Don't let arguments last overnight.
Create romance.
Appropriately expressing praise and affection for the other person can make them feel cared for. Always create some surprises for the other person. If you travel a lot, buy the other person some thoughtfully selected gifts when you reunite.
4. Create romantic expectations and promises.
4. Create romantic expectations and promises.
Love is about intimacy, passion, and commitment.
As your relationship progresses, commitments become more important. They help you overcome difficulties. If you don't have expectations for the future, it will be hard to keep moving forward. So, set some common expectations. Be as specific as you can and share them. For example, "This weekend, I will cook a big meal for you."
You can plan together where to get married, where to buy a house, how to decorate it, where to go on trips, where to go hiking or to the beach on weekends, and where to visit a friend on vacation.
When life is full of expectations, you will look forward to the future.
It's easier said than done, but if you're willing to work together, you'll have a long-lasting, stable relationship.
I wish you happiness!
I wish you happiness!
Comments
I understand how painful this situation must be for you. It sounds like you're really trying to make things right. Maybe it's time to give him some space while also expressing your sincerity. Write a heartfelt letter or message where you acknowledge his feelings and your mistakes, then wait patiently for him to come around when he's ready.
Communication is key in any relationship, especially longdistance ones. Reflect on the pattern of conflicts and think about ways to improve. You might want to discuss setting boundaries and expectations that respect both of your needs. If you can have an open conversation about these issues, it could strengthen your bond. For now, try not to pressure him into talking before he's ready.
This is tough, but perhaps this distance is a moment for selfreflection. Look at what triggers these arguments and consider if there are healthier ways to express your feelings. When you two do reconnect, approach the conversation with understanding and empathy. Show him through actions, not just words, that you're committed to making positive changes in your communication.
It's clear you care deeply about him and are willing to put in effort. Sometimes, actions speak louder than words. Instead of constant messaging, maybe demonstrate your commitment to change through consistent, thoughtful gestures over time. This could show him that you're serious about improving. Meanwhile, take care of yourself and remember that it's okay to seek support from friends or family during this challenging time.