Longing to be cared for and taken care of, is my boyfriend more fragile than I am?
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By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024
I am 24 years old and have been with my boyfriend for two years. We are in different cities, but we love each other very much. He has come to my city for me, found a job and bought a house to give me a home. But here comes the problem. He is actually very fragile inside. He works hard and wants to be comforted in my arms, but I also long to be loved. I want to be taken care of in every way. He is careless and cannot do it. When we argue, he doesn't comfort me first, but instead he makes excuses. I have a stomachache or a headache, but I don't feel any concern from him. He just says lightly, "Take a rest." Is it because I don't love him enough, or what? But I know he is trying to change. It's just that it's hard to change his personality. He is even more fragile than I am. But in general, he can give me a sense of security. It's just that I long to be cared for and taken care of in every way. Why is it that when I have my period and say I have a stomachache, he just says, "Take a rest," without caring? When I have a stomach flu and get up in the middle of the night because I am too sleepy, he just says, "Sit down." Why can't he take care of me?
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Comments
I understand your feelings and it's clear you're looking for more emotional support from him. It's tough when both partners have different needs and ways of showing love. Maybe you could try talking to him about how his words make you feel, and what you need from him during those moments.
It sounds like there's a mismatch in how you two express care and comfort. Have you considered discussing with him the specific ways you need to be supported? Sometimes men just don't know what we need unless we tell them directly.
Your boyfriend seems to be doing his best by moving for you and trying to provide a stable life. However, it's important that he learns to be more attentive to your emotional and physical needs too. Perhaps you can suggest some ways he can help you feel cared for when you're not feeling well.
Communication is key in every relationship. It might help if you share your feelings openly with him, explaining how much it would mean to you if he offered more comfort and understanding. He may not realize the impact of his responses on you.
You mentioned that he is working hard and trying to change. Change doesn't happen overnight, but it's great that he's making an effort. In the meantime, maybe you two can find a middle ground where he tries to be more nurturing while you also give him time and patience to grow.