Lost contact with a good friend of opposite gender, feeling confused and self-doubtful.

Hello, host!

And you'll be able to understand the host's reluctance to let her go, which will make you feel so good inside!

The reason for this internal struggle is because of how the original poster views the relationship with her.

The original poster's description says that they are friends of the opposite sex. So, the exciting question is: does the original poster want to simply regard this friend of the opposite sex as a friend of the opposite sex?

And you still hope to develop a romantic relationship with her in the future!

If you are just friends, you must be really close! But if there's more to it, you must care a lot.

If you want to develop a romantic relationship in the future, it means that you care a lot about this relationship! That's great! But it also means that you have all kinds of internal conflict going on inside.

First, ask yourself clearly what your feelings really are towards her.

If it's just a normal friendship, then you can absolutely accept the present situation! And if there's a chance to reconcile, then that would be the best thing ever!

If not, embrace the truth and go with the flow!

From the host's description, it seems that she already has a boyfriend, but the host is the only one who is struggling with it.

I always want to let go, but I keep thinking about her. Whenever I think about her, my heart aches and I have difficulty breathing. I keep thinking, "Why are you doing this to me?"

"Didn't you say I was important?" "What did I do wrong?"

These are actually the host's own inner torment, and the host's feelings for her have swayed the host's current mood.

So, as I said, just let it be! Don't hurt yourself with your own internal conflict.

I am warm June, and I love the world! And I love you!

Hello, host, I hope my answer can be of some help to you.

After reading your description, I can really understand how you feel. It seems like your friends and family around you don't understand you, which makes you feel very helpless and powerless, right? I hope you can feel some warmth and support.

It's true that many people in our society still don't know much about depression and can't empathize with those suffering from it. They often think that if the same thing happened to them, they'd be different from us. But in fact, they have no idea what depression is. They don't understand that depression is actually like our physical illnesses and is a disease that needs to be treated. Just as colds and fevers, pneumonia and hepatitis need to be treated, so does depression. It's not that you can get better just by thinking about it. You need to cooperate with your doctor's medication.

Depression is also quite different from other physical illnesses. In addition to medication, we also need to make psychological and self-adjustments. It can be hard to understand what your family and friends are going through, so it's important to find people who can really understand you. This could be friends who have had depression before, family and friends who understand psychology, school psychologists, or a matching psychological counselor. You can also talk and exchange ideas in many groups on our Yiyixinli platform. For example, we have a depression and anxiety group, which has many small partners who can definitely give you support and understanding.

I also suggest reading some related books, such as Rebuilding Your Life, Embracing Your Inner Child, Accepting Your Imperfect Self, and Walking Out of Depression. These books can help you adjust your mindset, reconcile with yourself, take care of your feelings, and move towards a better life.

I also got the book "Out of Depression" in exchange for points on the Yixinli platform. It was really helpful. It has some great tips on how to deal with worrying about what others think of you. The author says that when he starts worrying about what others think of him again, he will do three things:

1. Revise your self-assessment

For instance, when he looks in the mirror, he often doesn't like what he sees and thinks other people feel the same way. But when he starts to respect himself and focuses on living a healthy life and taking responsibility for himself, he not only starts to like what he sees in the mirror, but also becomes less concerned about what other people think when they look at him.

If you want to change your self-assessment and like yourself, you can do these things: run, eat well, brush your teeth well, wear clean clothes, make your bed every morning, get up early, keep your personal space tidy, do push-ups, take vitamins, reply to messages in a timely manner, manage your finances, go for walks in nature, etc.

This might seem like the most clichéd self-help list ever, but let's face it, in today's world, it's tough to stick to these things every day. If we can make a habit of doing these things and keeping our lives in order, we'll feel more in control, more secure, and less worried about what other people think.

2. It's probably safe to say that others are just like me.

Despite our differences, we have a lot in common. We all experience these things: waking up and remembering that we have to do something today, but putting it off; eating breakfast, but not enjoying it; not remembering to drink water; worrying about money; feeling ashamed that we don't communicate enough with our family; constantly thinking about unpleasant experiences from the past; getting bored looking at the same face in the mirror every day; mindlessly scrolling on the phone; impulsively buying things; pretending that we don't care when we actually do; feeling like people are talking about us behind our backs; constantly comparing ourselves to others; growing strange things on our bodies, but refusing to go to the doctor; complying with the rules set by others; and feeling that the things you post are of low quality and uninteresting, and starting to doubt yourself when you say, "My posts aren't getting any likes." Many of us feel this way...

So you'll see that we're all pretty much the same, and we all have a lot on our minds every day. In fact, everyone is living the same kind of difficult and busy lives in different ways.

Yes, we all have the same worries and anxieties. When we realize that we're all in the same boat, we can better understand what others are going through. When we understand that others are no different from me, we can better understand how we feel.

3. Do your best to keep important relationships strong.

First of all, it's important to remember that you shouldn't force yourself if you're unable to do it.

Here's an explanation of what is meant by "doing one's best": If you really do your best to keep in touch with friends – that is, if you don't force yourself to do so when you lack energy – then we'll also realize that we should expect the same of others.

To put it another way, other people aren't obliged to contact me. I feel unwanted, but that's just how I feel.

This way, you'll understand others better because they've already done their best.

Secondly, it's important to avoid comparing the amount of effort we put into a friendship.

For instance, if I try harder than the other person to stay in touch and be a real friend, not just someone they nod to, but they don't reciprocate my efforts, then we have to accept it. As long as you can still talk, it's fine, because that's maintaining some kind of contact.

If some people don't make an effort but still think you should want to be friends with them, it just means that they think differently and behave differently from you. That's perfectly normal. You have different parents, different genes, have been to different places, have different loves and fears, have different life experiences and educational backgrounds, and have formed different values during your growth. So, you will have different understandings of the same issue. Just as friends who don't understand depression or who have never had depression will usually not understand your actions and thoughts.

A true friend won't try to make you fit their idea of what a friend should be. If you try to force someone to do that and it doesn't work, you'll just end up with resentment.

The only thing you can do is stop thinking that you can control other people's behavior—you can't. The only thing you can control is your own reactions.

If you don't expect anything in return, you're less likely to get angry. But this does take time to adjust to, and you need to put in a lot of effort to make it work.

This also applies to your expectations of your parents.

If you can really do this, you'll become more independent and less worried. If a friend or family member does something for you, you'll be pleasantly surprised and grateful. This is also a very important point.

As a general rule, I suggest that you:

?Work with your doctor to get better through active treatment and adjustment.

Regarding your parents, you can express your feelings and needs to them honestly, and you can also explain depression to them. You can also educate yourself about depression. As the saying goes, "know thyself and know thy enemy, and you can win every battle." You can only overcome it by understanding it.

You can read the books I recommend, which will have a positive effect on you.

Join groups that understand and support you, which can give you strength.

It's important to find the right kind of relationships and spend time with friends who understand you and can be confided in.

It's also a good idea to change your lifestyle and gradually increase your energy.

Best of luck, and all the best!

It is possible to demonstrate that she occupies a position in one's heart that extends beyond that of a mere friend. This is a relatively common occurrence in the context of interpersonal relationships.

Indeed, both parties in the relationship can be held accountable for the circumstances that have led to this situation. Alternatively, it may be that neither party bears responsibility. As the ancient adage suggests, "examine yourself in three aspects." Frequently, the first step in resolving a problem is to identify the source within oneself.

First, it is essential to ascertain the underlying cause of the current circumstances.

It is evident that your sentiments towards her have transcended the boundaries of mere friendship. However, it is unclear whether you have explicitly or implicitly conveyed your feelings to her and ensured her comprehension of your intentions. Based on your account, it appears that you have not done so. Furthermore, it is possible that you have not even attempted to ascertain the extent of your standing in her affections.

Secondly, it is important to note that the term "important people" does not solely refer to romantic partners. In fact, parents, siblings, respected teachers, and so forth can also be considered important figures in one's life.

Now that the reason has been established, the subsequent step is relatively straightforward.

Firstly, it is essential to determine the nature of the relationship that is desired with the individual in question. Is it a romantic partnership that is sought, or something else?

If that is not a viable option at this time, would you be amenable to developing other significant relationships, such as that of a brother or sister, or even a soulmate? Alternatively, would you be willing to wait for her?

It would be advisable to consider the situation carefully before taking the next step. This should be done in a confident manner, with a clear indication of your intentions. It would be beneficial to contact her directly to discuss your thoughts and feelings, and to explain that you have missed her. It would also be helpful to provide an outline of your future plans.

Should you wish to engage in further correspondence, you are invited to contact me directly.