Love is opposed, and these days, every time I see my parents, I sink into negative emotions?

Dear Question Asker,

It is undoubtedly challenging to navigate opposition from parents in a romantic relationship.

In light of the above, I would like to offer some opinions for your reference:

It is important to understand that love and marriage are ultimately driven by one's fundamental needs.

Given the findings of relevant research, it can be concluded that love is a basic human impulse and that an ideal love marriage is fundamentally a chemical reaction in the brain.

The decision-making process regarding romantic love and marriage is not solely influenced by external factors, such as comparisons with parents or judgments of right and wrong. Instead, it is shaped by the individual's own brain activity, specifically in the primitive brain area that reflects desires, attempts, and motives.

I am pleased to see that the questioner has already made a clear judgment and analysis in this regard.

For example, "I have a very good relationship with my boyfriend. We are both college students. We have liked each other since high school, and it's almost been three years now. "I discovered that they always see him through a filter, and their prejudice and targeting have directly come between us." "My boyfriend and I can break up because of our different worldviews, bottom line issues, or whatever, but if we really break up just to please our parents and give them peace of mind, it doesn't make sense, and neither of us would be willing to do it." And similar expressions.

As illustrated in the aforementioned question, parents may be inclined to force a breakup and prevent communication due to deeply entrenched biases. Attempts at communication may be met with resistance, leading to perceptions of selfishness and rebelliousness.

It is important to note that parents and their children often have differing expectations and requirements for love and marriage. This can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction in real-life relationships.

However, this dissatisfaction may prove beneficial in the long term. The discrepancy between expectations and reality will prompt us to reflect on and evaluate our love and marriage.

As with the original poster, it is advisable to consider the decision carefully, weigh up the pros and cons, and seek support before making a choice.

It is therefore recommended that you first attempt to comprehend the concerns of your parents and ascertain the precise reasons for their opposition to your relationship.

The parents' opposition may be based on concerns about your boyfriend's values, lifestyle, future plans, or other factors. Alternatively, they may be trying to shield you from potential challenges.

It is possible that there are certain aspects of your partner that are not conducive to the next step in the marriage process, such as a poor family background or financial situation.

Once the situation has been clarified, it is important to continue seeking suitable opportunities to communicate with your parents on an ongoing basis.

It would be advisable to explain your point of view and provide an explanation as to why you have chosen this person. You may also wish to demonstrate your maturity and reasonableness, and illustrate that you are capable of handling your own emotional issues. You could even consider providing them with an insight into the way you interact and get along with your boyfriend, so that they can gain a better understanding of the situation.

Secondly, should the parents remain opposed, it would be advisable to temporarily respect their decision. It is important to remain calm and avoid frustration or disappointment, as circumstances are subject to change.

It may be helpful to seek support and advice from other sources, such as friends and family.

Concurrently, it is essential to maintain a positive outlook and the conviction that you possess the capacity to effectively address this challenge.

Ultimately, it is essential to take responsibility for your own feelings and future.

As you have outlined in your question, it is essential to ensure that the relationship with your boyfriend is authentic and that you have transparent plans and objectives for the future.

Should you require further guidance or assistance, we recommend consulting a professional counselor.

In summary, effective communication and mutual respect between you and your parents are essential in this situation.

Furthermore, it is essential to take responsibility for your own feelings and future, and to seek all possible support and advice.

I hope this information is of some assistance.

Dear questioner, I'm Peilü.

I'll give you a hug first.

Family and relationship issues

Emotional regulation

—Data interpretation—

The questioner said, "I'm currently studying at university and have been in love with my boyfriend for more than three years. However, my parents are against us seeing each other. You and your boyfriend are determined and have tried to gain your family's approval, but several attempts at communication have failed. In the end, you've temporarily agreed to break up to ease their extreme emotions."

I empathize with you and understand the predicament you're in between your parents and your boyfriend. You care about both sides, and I don't believe you intend to go against your family. You just want their understanding and approval and hope that your love can be respected and blessed by them. You're a girl who dares to love and fight for what she wants in a relationship. You're forced by your parents, and you're not willing to accept it. You just haven't found a solution to the problem at this stage, and you have nowhere to vent your frustration and grievances.

Let's look at the reasons behind this.

Your parents

You and your boyfriend have been together for many years, your relationship is stable, and you have thought about the future together. It seems that the biggest obstacle right now is the pressure from your parents.

"My parents suddenly forced me to break up with my boyfriend and stop seeing him because of their deep-rooted prejudice." "My boyfriend also tried to help, but they always saw him through a filter, and their prejudice and targeting directly affected us.

"You say that your parents have deep-rooted prejudices against him, which shows that you and your parents have a difference in perception. You can't accept it, and you can't convince them to change their minds, so communication between you is impossible and you can't reach mutual understanding.

The reality is that

"We can break up because of our differences in values or other problems, but if we break up just to please our parents and give them peace of mind, it doesn't make sense, and neither of us will be happy about it." "I have to put up with it because I'm not yet financially independent."

On top of the pressure from your folks, you and your boyfriend are both 18 and in college. As you mentioned, you're not financially independent and rely on your parents. You've also got your studies to balance. You feel constrained by your parents, unable to make free choices or find solutions to problems. While worrying about the future, you also feel helpless and weak.

My personal advice is…

It's important to understand each other's perspectives.

It's important to remember that understanding doesn't mean agreeing. We all see things differently depending on our perspective.

Your parents' views may seem biased to you, but they probably have their reasons and positions. Just as you see this as a normal relationship, they probably see you as a love-struck girl.

So, to make things easier, we need to try to see things from the other person's point of view. We need to understand why they have those prejudices and think about whether we have some "prejudices" against them too. Is what you're saying always right?

It's important to accept.

Parents' views are often shaped by the times, and many of their ideas aren't necessarily relevant to their children. I think you can understand that they're doing this out of love and concern for you, but this forced approach doesn't help you recognize and accept it. So it's important to remember that you're objecting to your parents' approach, not to your parents themselves.

It's possible that they don't have the experience to handle this matter reasonably, which means it's likely that they won't be able to do it properly. If we can understand our parents' love and accept their imperfections, and give both sides some time to calm down, then a temporary compromise is a better way to deal with it.

Stay positive.

If you and your boyfriend want to have a happy and successful future, you'll have to deal with your parents. It's not easy, but you don't need to worry too much. Most couples have to deal with their parents at some point. The key is your will and your choice. You can think of it as a "litmus test" for your relationship, or as a "competency test" for you to handle family issues.

Life is long, and things change. Try to keep the lines of communication open with your parents, and don't be too pessimistic. There's no rush to deal with your relationship problems right now. Focusing on your studies will help you work through your anxieties.

?

I love you, the world, and everything in it.

Hello, I'm Xin Tan, Coach Xiufu. I'm here to help.

You feel optimistic about your boyfriend but your parents don't. You try to defend him but they'll just look at him with prejudice. You feel powerless and uncomfortable.

You're tired of discussing this with your parents. You want to talk to your boyfriend, but it won't help. You've come to our platform to get help.

I will combine the following content to help you think about it and inspire you.

You say you can wait, but you don't want to despair. Waiting means you have confidence and determination to have a future with him.

But you don't want to give up because you might not get support or affirmation, and after repeated efforts, there is no change in your parents' minds.

I'd like to understand more about you. You've liked each other for almost three years. Are you high school classmates? Is the college student you're dating in the same school or in a different city?

What are your parents' prejudices?

You know your parents love you, but they have different ideas. You feel misunderstood and think their decision is wrong. You strongly disagree with them.

Have you decided where you'll live in the future?

If you're both at the same university, it'll be easier. After you graduate, or even before, you can both find a career you like and start a family.

Your parents can see and remember that you are a relief to them as a daughter. They want you to be happy.

They don't feel comfortable with your relationship with your boyfriend. If you're in different cities, they don't think you'll come to the same city for work.

They're afraid you'll be hurt because communication is affected when you're apart. As your mom and dad, they don't want to see you unhappy.

What's your situation with your boyfriend?

Is your relationship sweet, or do you have a unique way of maintaining it even when you are apart?

If there is, you can also talk to your parents about this. You can first point out that they are worried about you, but you also have a solution. As their daughter, you want to reassure them and be happy in your relationship.

You and your boyfriend are working together to find a way out of the situation. You can tell your parents what you've done.

You might think that telling your parents about your relationship won't help, but it will.

They're worried and need reassurance. Let's show them what we've been doing to prove we're serious about this relationship. Then they'll be reassured.

Don't be discouraged by their rejection. Take a deep breath and calm down. Write down what you want to say or what you're doing. You can hint or reveal it at the right time.

Finally, you are a little defiant with them because they are an energy black hole. But if you think about it, take their concerns as a principle.

Let's start talking to your boyfriend about this.

You said you've discussed this a lot. What have you done? What have you thought about?

If you can't come up with a solution, think about what I said.

Tell me about what you've already talked about with him. Organize your thoughts, and click on my profile to ask me a question.

I can help you plan a solution. I hope your relationship will go more smoothly at university and your parents will accept you sooner.

You'll have fewer internal conflicts and worry less. You'll be happier and your relationship will improve.

The future is full of hope. I can help.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Hello! I'm a heart exploration coach. I just wanted to say, "Fly free! Life is a beautiful journey. It's not about appreciation, but about blossoming."

It's totally understandable to feel sad when your parents strongly oppose your relationship. It can make you feel like they don't respect or trust you and are excessively interfering with your freedom and happiness in life. You also know that they are only trying to do what is best for you, but you just can't accept this "authoritarian" and "controlling" attitude. Let's take a look at what's really going on:

1. You and your parents are both trying to achieve the same thing, even if you're going about it in different ways.

You're both pursuing love and happiness, but your parents are putting a bit of a damper on things by getting in the way of your relationship with your boyfriend. It's totally understandable! After all, your goals are the same. Your parents just want their children to be happy, but you see things differently, which leads to a difference in understanding of "happiness."

It's so great to hear your perspective!

You've been in a relationship with your boyfriend for three years, and now that you've both been admitted to university, you're so happy! You feel like you can finally pursue a normal relationship. You feel the love going both ways, which is why you're doing your best to protect the relationship, even if it means breaking with your parents.

Parents' perspective:

At 18, it's still early days! It's not possible to rely on how you felt at that age to predict how you'll feel at 25 or 30. Parents want their kids to be happy, but they also want them to take relationships seriously.

Parents also have another idea: they want you to make the most of your youth and focus on your future. They have their own views on choosing a spouse and want to share them with you.

In a nutshell, you and your parents have different ideas about how to achieve happiness, but you both want the best for each other.

2. How to communicate effectively and reach a consensus

It's so important for you and your parents to have a good, open conversation. You need to understand your parents' intentions: they want you to be happy.

It's also important for them to see you as an adult. You're 18 now, and you have your own thoughts and judgment.

It's so important to have an open and honest conversation with each other to help love flow again. Try to express your views and feelings without any criticism, complaints or negativity.

It's totally fine to fall in love, but there's no need or reason to "tie the knot" all at once. Relationships formed in high school still need to pass more tests, and the university campus will expose you to more people and things, and you will see a bigger world.

In the future, you'll have to think about things like graduation, your career choice, where you want to develop, and where you want to live.

College students can have a passionate love affair and have a complete life and perfect memories. And if you're mature and lucky enough, love can be unrelated to marriage. After all, love = marriage!

I think your parents are strongly opposed to it for another reason, too. It seems like you share every detail with them in your "reports." You are both college students now, so it's understandable that they might not know your exact whereabouts.

Take this chance to really feel like you're living your life on your own and free!

I can imagine this has made you feel a bit stuck when it comes to communicating with your parents. It's totally normal to feel this way! We all have to navigate these situations at some point, and it's a great chance to grow and learn. You'll meet so many new people and have lots of experiences, not just with your parents, but also with friends, colleagues, and in the workplace.

You've got this! Bravely face it, rather than avoiding or evading it. Develop a growth mindset and experience the people and events in your life with a positive attitude. Maturity and growth is what makes you rich and strong inside.

I really hope this has been helpful for you. I love you, and so does the world.

If you'd like to keep chatting, you can follow my personal homepage, "Heart Exploration Service."

Dear student, I get it. I hope my response can help support you.

You've been in love for three years and are currently in college, but your parents strongly oppose your dating. You're unable to escape your parents' control due to a lack of financial resources, and communicating with your boyfriend hasn't produced a good solution.

It's tough for you. You're not happy with the current situation and don't see a way forward. You've known each other for three years and have been through a lot together. You must know each other pretty well. After going through these three years, your parents, who previously gave their tacit approval, are now strongly opposed.

It's really quite distressing.

You're not currently financially independent, and discussing the matter with your boyfriend hasn't produced any results. You feel you have to be filial to your parents, and you feel conflicted. In fact, you're more concerned about your parents' criticism of your boyfriend and their disapproval of your choice of partner.

What are your thoughts on this?

Your parents see your boyfriend through a filter, and you feel humiliated. After all, it is your choice, and you doubt yourself, which makes you unable to calm down and you can only bear it yourself. This pain can only be swallowed alone, and the feeling of being rejected can only be carried by yourself. It's too difficult to say whether it arouses memories of childhood.

You feel pretty angry. Talking to your boyfriend hasn't got you anywhere. After all, you're both adults, and there are a lot of unknowns. What's the future going to bring? No one can predict or control it.

If you can both accept that your values are different, your parents' disapproval won't have much impact.

If you end the relationship to make your parents happy, you feel like they're treating you like a child. You've been together for three years, but you never had the freedom to make decisions, and you hate yourself for it.

As parents, there are limitations. Going to university means that their children will be leaving them. They'll feel a loss of control. After all, they've been together day and night, and they even talk about boyfriends. This is even more of a threat to them. They're afraid of being abandoned. Do you agree?

Women often find themselves in a vulnerable position in relationships. When they're unable to control the situation, their parents worry that their children will be emotionally neglected or taken advantage of.

Objecting to your boyfriend is just an excuse. You want to satisfy your sense of security, which will inevitably drive you two closer together. This is human nature. The more you try to control things, the more tempted you will be. Nowadays, universities also face a lot of pressure, and you need the support and company of your friends. You can talk to your friends about your confusion. There are a lot of uncertainties in life.

It's also worth noting that even if parents don't oppose, they're still subject to many influences. Whether they end up together or not also depends on their individual fate. As parents, they're naturally anxious. With the current employment situation, they hope you can focus on your studies and avoid harm from others, which is understandable.

You really care about your relationship with your parents. University is also a small society, where you need to deal with various relationships on your own. You need to negotiate when problems arise, and learn to communicate well. Solve problems together and face them together.

Experience is the best teacher, and you learn to protect yourself and handle emotions. Choices are more important than hard work. There's a lot of uncertainty in the future. The best way to get through it is to make yourself strong, learn from your experiences, and develop the ability to understand people. Attract and influence others, and keep improving.

I wish you the best of luck.

Good morning.

Although you are only 18 years old, you have your own opinions and your own way of dealing with things. This is a challenging situation. You have tried to communicate, but it has not always been easy. There have been misunderstandings, and you have been accused of being selfish and rebellious.

You found it difficult to accept their position, so you decided to respectfully decline their request to end the relationship. This approach helped to defuse the situation and ease the tension in your relationship.

You recognize that you have limited influence in this situation and that your parents still play an important role in your life. You understand that they are trying to protect you, even though their opinions on your choice of boyfriend differ from yours.

You have chosen to continue your relationship with your current boyfriend, but you have chosen not to tell your parents about it. This kind of relationship can sometimes be a bit depressing, and seeing your parents can sometimes make you feel rebellious.

You know that you can come here to talk about these emotions. Take a moment to calm yourself down. You want to express your frustration with your parents' anger, while also maintaining your desire to maintain the relationship.

I believe this is the best response you can make at this stage in your life.

Your relationship with your boyfriend has lasted for almost three years, from the beginning when you first liked each other to the present. You say that your relationship is very normal, that you are very rational, and that you're not in love.

You would like your parents to approve of your choice and give you their affirmation. However, they are firmly against it and are forcing you to break up.

You may feel that your parents' disapproval of your boyfriend is a reflection of their disapproval of you. Their lack of support in allowing you the freedom to choose may make you feel that you have no right to choose your own romantic relationship, and that you are being restricted and controlled.

It's possible that your parents see you as someone who makes decisions based on incomplete information, unable to see people's true colors and unaware of the ways of the world.

It's understandable that they want to ensure your safety, that you are still part of their lives, and that they are responsible for you. They may feel more at ease once you stop seeing someone. From their perspective, it's natural for them to view things through a certain lens.

They perceive certain factors as unreliable and also observe a tendency on your part to disregard advice. They are uncertain about you and believe that you may not yet possess the maturity to choose a boyfriend.

You feel uneasy when arguing with your parents because you know they love you deeply, but you also recognize that they have their own biases, are stubborn, and place restrictions on you. You have stated that you cannot break up with your boyfriend just to please your parents, and that this reason for breaking up is not valid.

If, in the future, when you are in a relationship, there are problems with values or different bottom lines, or any other problems, you always have the option of breaking up with him. However, you will never break up just to please anyone. This is your view on relationships, and you have always stuck to being yourself.

I believe you are quite mature, capable of falling in love, and able to distinguish whether your boyfriend is suitable for you. It seems you are aware that you will continue to make further choices in your own way in the future.

It seems that the choice you are fighting for with your parents is an important step towards your independence. While you may still rely on your parents financially for the time being, you have demonstrated an ability to handle things thoughtfully in your own best interests.

It would be ideal if parents, the boyfriend, and you could all feel at ease. Being confident and at ease with yourself is something you have to work on, but it's not really anyone else's issue.

Perhaps it would be best to let parents and boyfriends be themselves, too. That's their problem.

It seems that you are currently experiencing some challenges with living at home, which has led to a desire to move out. It might be helpful to consider whether moving out now is the best option for you.

On the one hand, you are, after all, a student and financially dependent on your family. On the other hand, no matter how old we are, the emotional bond between children and parents is also a need.

It is possible that if you were to move out, you may feel that you have been betrayed and that your relationship with your parents would suffer as a result.

We all adapt to the social environment in different ways, and we may encounter people and events that present more of a challenge to our ability to adapt. Our responses to different people and situations may vary.

In our relationships with our parents, it is important to find ways to minimize conflicts and create a space where we can understand each other and have our own independent space with some boundaries. This is an ongoing process of growth in our relationships.

The parents' request for a divorce is a very stubborn and unreasonable request. If I may suggest, perhaps it would be helpful to view the situation from another perspective. If you were not their daughter, but a listening therapist assigned to listen to the parents' voices and express understanding and empathy as an impartial listener, how would you approach the situation?

Perhaps this could be a way of thinking. It might be helpful to view an event from multiple perspectives, which could potentially lead to a different experience.

I believe that the world and I love you, and I think you should love yourself too.

Hello, my child. I understand your feelings very well. I have also experienced such confusion and pain. Now, my ex-boyfriend (now my husband) and I are very happy together. My experience can give you some inspiration.

I advise you to:

Accept and understand your parents' perspective and behavior. They are looking out for your best interests, but you don't have to listen to them.

Last night, I told my mother that she was wrong about me getting together with my husband more than ten years ago. She said that, from her perspective as a mother, she was worried that I would make a mistake and that I would not be happy, so she did not agree at the time. She was wrong. There was a popular saying in Hunan at the time that if a woman did not marry someone from Jiangxi, she would lead a hard life if she married someone from Jiangxi.

At the time, transportation was inconvenient, and my parents had never been to Jiangxi. They had only heard that it was not a good place, and they didn't know much about my boyfriend. They were worried that I would have a hard time with him because he wasn't tall and wasn't making much money at the time. That's why my mother was so strongly against it.

They have their own limitations, and from their point of view, they are only looking out for your best interests. That doesn't mean they are right, and you don't need to listen to them. I stuck to my own choice later because I know my boyfriend well. I value his sense of responsibility, his broad outlook, and character, and I believe in my own choice.

Ultimately, my parents agreed and didn't stand in our way.

2. Accept and understand your emotions, learn to separate issues, make your own choices, and take responsibility for the consequences of your choices.

I am certain that my confusion and distress at the time were the same as yours now. There is no question that I would not break up with my boyfriend without a principled issue. I am convinced that "mutual affection" is hard to come by and cannot be sought. There is no doubt in my mind that I do not want my family to be unsupportive of this intimate relationship. I am confident that I will receive their blessings and recognition. We also need to understand and accept our current emotions. It's normal to feel these things.

At the same time, we must learn to distinguish between our parents' issues and our own, take responsibility for our own issues, and not take on our parents' issues. How do we distinguish between whose issues they are?

The main issue is who is affected by this directly, and that is what we will discuss.

You are the one who will bear the direct consequences of marrying someone at the wrong time. You need to decide what kind of consequences you are willing to bear and then make the choice you are willing to make. You can choose to break up with the other person and bear the corresponding consequences, such as the pain of breaking up and the temporary satisfaction of your parents. Or you can choose not to break up and bear the corresponding consequences, such as your parents' nagging and scolding and the fact that you can stay with your boyfriend forever. You can also choose to maintain the status quo, continue to communicate with them, and let them have a better understanding of you. This requires you to spend energy, time, and effort on communication.

Parents' emotions and involvement in your issues are part of their need to grow. It is not your responsibility to bear this burden, and you cannot bear it.

You already know the answer. You just need to distinguish between what is your own issue and what is your parents' issue. Once you do that, it will be easier for you to make a choice.

3. It's clear that your parents have conflicts and contradictions with you, but your needs are the same. They want you to be happy. You should communicate at the level of needs, not constantly argue with them over positions.

In fact, looking back on this incident from more than ten years ago, I now understand that although there were conflicts and oppositions between my parents and me at the time, our needs were actually the same, which was for me to be happy. They were wrong. They thought that for me to be happy, I needed to marry someone local, tall, handsome, rich, etc. I knew better. I knew that for me to be happy, I needed to cherish the boy in front of me, because he was my first love and he was particularly responsible and capable. Together, we could create our own happy life.

Later, I told my mother, "Mom, I was sad when you opposed me being with him. I really like him, and we've been together for six years. I know what kind of person he is, and I believe that I will be happy with him. But I also want your blessing and recognition, your support and trust. I will also take responsibility for my own happiness..."

My parents finally agreed that we could get together, and now we've been married for almost 13 years. My mother is happy with my husband because we are happy together. This satisfies her needs, and it satisfies mine too. Our needs are the same.

You may find this information useful. Best wishes!

Your parents should be more discerning when it comes to judging people. Try to get them to accept and approve of you, but don't force them to.

You are responsible for your emotions and your life. If you have encountered interpersonal conflicts or if your relationships or career are not going well, you can use the following as a reference.

To truly love others is to wish and give them happiness. This must be done for everyone, the outstanding, the ordinary, and even the weak. We must tolerate and accept them or forgive and forgive them. We must correct their mistakes or shortcomings if possible. Everyone has the right to happiness. People can bring each other mutual spiritual comfort and joy. It is good to love and accept others and oneself. We must tolerate shortcomings and inadequacies. We must be kind at heart. We must benefit others or society.

If you don't get along with most people, it will lead to negative energy and negative emotional problems. You must truly love others, adapt to people and things, and correct your energy field to be more likely to find and have a loving and suitable relationship and career. You can also share and exchange what you see, hear, think, and feel or your interests and hobbies, including books, movies, and music, etc., with others in real life and on the Internet, such as Douban communities.

Love your life and be content with the ordinary and small things.

Negative energy affects your health. Keep your body comfortable and healthy with a full body massage, a head massage including the forehead and face (which also has meridians), a deep and forceful massage with your hands, a massage comb for the head, and don't press on your stomach on an empty stomach. Then take a walk.

It's totally normal to feel distressed and pained when your parents oppose your relationship, especially when it's as strong and committed as yours. It's okay to feel negative emotions and experience conflicts in this situation. Here are some suggestions that might help you navigate this challenge:

It's so important to keep the lines of communication open!

1. Try to see things from your parents' perspective. They're just worried about your future and your well-being, and they love you!

2. Communicate effectively: Find an appropriate time to chat with your parents about how you're feeling and what you think. Try to use "I" statements (e.g., "I feel...when...") to avoid getting into an argument.

It's also a great idea to focus on building your own support system.

1. Take care of yourself! Find healthy ways to manage your emotions, such as through journaling, exercise, or talking to a trusted friend. This can help you release stress and maintain clear thinking.

2. Seek external support: It might be a good idea to find a counselor who can provide a neutral perspective, help you deal with this emotional conflict, and offer strategies to improve your relationship with your parents.

It's so important to plan for your future independence! Even if you're not there yet, you can start preparing now. Think about how you can achieve financial independence in the future. This could include studying hard, working part-time, learning about money management, and so on.

1. Get ready for your future! You might not be financially independent yet, but you can start planning how to achieve it. This could include studying hard, working part-time, learning about money management, and so on. This will help you prepare for a possible independent life in the future.

2. Future planning: It's a great idea to work out a long-term plan with your boyfriend. This should include how you'll gradually gain your parents' understanding and acceptance of your relationship, as well as how you'll face possible financial and life challenges together.

Stay hopeful and patient, my friend!

1. Be patient! It might take a little time to change your parents' minds. Having patience and trust in each other is really important during this process.

Also, remember that things might change over time, and that's okay!

2. Inner persistence: Stay true to what you believe is right. True love and relationships require effort and time to maintain and protect, but you've got this!

Also, it's good to be prepared for all the different ways things could turn out.

You're not alone! Lots of people have been through something similar and found a way through.

It's so important to keep believing in love, but it's also good to be prepared and plan for the future. Having hope and perseverance will help you be happy!

Dear Sir/Madam, I have received your sincere question. I am ZQ, a heart exploration coach on the Yixinli platform. I am unaware of the circumstances that have led to your parents' decision to terminate your relationship and prevent you from communicating with each other. From a logical perspective, you and your partner are both adults, and therefore, the decision to end the relationship should be theirs alone.

One might inquire as to why individuals are subjected to various forms of prejudice. This phenomenon may be attributed, in part, to the existence of certain circumstances that engender feelings of unreliability among parents, and in part, to the fact that individuals are in the process of becoming adults and may lack sufficient experience. When confronted with feedback from parents, individuals may not yet fully recognize their own strengths.

Specifically, regardless of parental counsel to the contrary, one may decline, as one is capable of being independent. If one is financially independent and in control of one's financial destiny and role, then regardless of what others may say, one may ignore it.

You have the autonomy to pursue your own happiness and to become self-sufficient. You and your boyfriend have been in a relationship since high school, and your relationship has lasted for approximately three years. It is a commendable bond, yet your parents are attempting to disrupt it. Is their primary motivation the desire for their son to marry a daughter who is wealthy, attractive, and powerful?

Do you harbor negative sentiments toward underprivileged college students?

You possess your own judgment. Our lives are not solely about the present. Two individuals can also create wealth together. You and your boyfriend ultimately still have to mature rapidly so that each of you can better cope with some of the control in the family. As adults, if you do not have your own financial rights,

As a result, one may be unable to make decisions in accordance with one's personal preferences. This scenario is a prevalent challenge among college students, as it reflects the prevailing educational paradigm in our country. Prior to the age of 18, individuals are socialized within an exam-oriented educational system that does not adequately equip them with essential skills, including a fundamental understanding of self-rights.

Additionally, there are certain abilities that are not typically acquired in an academic setting and must be developed independently. Consequently, when entering university, it is often necessary to adopt a more intensive approach to learning.

It is important to note that college education entails more than merely acquiring textbook knowledge. It necessitates a shift in perspective regarding the conventional approach to test-taking education. In addition to learning how to learn, socialize, and enhance financial literacy, students must also abandon the outdated mindset that has shaped their educational experiences thus far.

In order to be able to support yourself, and subsequently work hard in a large urban area, own your own home, and live your life in a satisfactory manner, it is important to gain the necessary skills and experience to be able to do so. Once these skills have been acquired, parents will be reassured that their child is able to take control of their life and lead a fulfilling existence, and will no longer be concerned about the direction their child is taking in life.

Furthermore, the right to choose one's own partner is an inherent one. This does not entail acquiescence to the prejudices of one's parents. There is no obligation to adhere to the views of one's parents' generation. While the opinions of parents may be worthy of consideration to a certain extent,

However, if one is so opposed to the idea, it may indicate that the vision in question is flawed. If the parents are already viewing the situation through a distorted lens, there is no need to consider their opinions. If the information provided by the boyfriend is accurate, it can be evaluated to determine its veracity, as individuals possess a multitude of characteristics, not just one aspect that is inherently good or bad.

Ultimately, the value of the relationship depends on the individual's personal assessment. If there is genuine approval of the partner, then the couple can work together and make progress, and wait until the time is right to inform their parents. At that juncture, regardless of parental approval, the individual can choose their own partner and is not unduly influenced by parental financial pressure. The opinion of the parents is ultimately inconsequential.

Please clarify the question.

Dear author, I just wanted to say that your story really resonated with me and made me empathise with the challenges you're facing.

It looks like you're at a crossroads between your relationship and your family, facing a tough choice. First of all, I want to tell you that your feelings are totally normal and reasonable. You have the right to pursue your own happiness, but you also have a responsibility to respect your parents' opinions.

I'd recommend trying to think from your parents' perspective first. They may oppose your relationship out of concern for you.

They might be worried that your relationship will distract you from your studies or that you'll get hurt. Try to understand their concerns and then communicate with them honestly.

You can share your feelings and express your trust in your boyfriend, while also listening to their opinions and suggestions.

You can also put together a long-term plan with your boyfriend. Since you're still in college, you should focus on your studies and personal growth first.

As you go through this, you can support and encourage each other in your pursuit of a better future. At the same time, you can also find some suitable opportunities and occasions for your parents to learn more about your boyfriend's strengths and qualities.

To relieve negative emotions and stress, I suggest you try some relaxing activities. For example, you can go shopping, watch a movie, or enjoy a meal with your best friend to make yourself feel happier.

You might also want to try some meditation or deep breathing exercises to help calm your emotions and relax your body and mind.

I'd also like to give you some more specific advice that you can put into action. First, you could try agreeing on a regular time with your parents to have an in-depth conversation.

In the meantime, you can show them photos and videos of you and your boyfriend to give them a better idea of your relationship and how you get along. You can also invite them to join you for activities like family gatherings and trips so they can see how happy you are together.

You might also want to think about seeing a professional counselor. They can give you more specific and professional advice and guidance to help you handle your relationships with family and partners better.

You can find a counselor that's a good fit through the school's counseling center or on social media.

Finally, I just want to say that no matter what difficulties and challenges you encounter, don't give up on your pursuit of happiness. The relationship between you and your boyfriend is precious and worth working for.

Also, learn to find a balance between respecting your parents and pursuing your own happiness. I believe that with time and as you grow, everything will get better.

Best of luck! There's still a long way to go, but I hope you're able to face every challenge bravely and find happiness along the way.

Hello, question asker. My name is Evan, and I'm a counselor who follows the Jingli school of thought.

From the questioner's description, I can sense the questioner's recognition and persistence in this relationship. Many young people may find themselves in a similar situation, where they are trying to find a balance between their parents' opinions and their own feelings.

This is a complex issue with no straightforward solution. It can be challenging to navigate family pressure and the difficult choice between relationships.

I often say that in China, if a close relationship is to last and involves marriage, then it is important to consider the role of the family in the relationship. The approval of both families is often a key factor in the success of a marriage. This is why Chinese marriage is often discussed in terms of the families' social status and wealth.

The questioner is facing some complex emotions. It can be challenging to want to be with your boyfriend. What matters is whether you and your boyfriend are committed to working together to overcome difficulties and find solutions so you can be together.

Here are a few suggestions on how to communicate your emotional problems with your family in a constructive manner:

It would be advisable for the author to try to remain calm when communicating with their family and to avoid letting their emotions get the better of them. It might be helpful for them to learn more effective communication skills in order to have a more constructive dialogue with their parents.

This may include listening to their concerns while expressing your feelings and position. It might also be helpful to rationally analyze the current situation and consider possible solutions.

It might be helpful for the questioner to consider having an in-depth conversation with their parents. This could be an opportunity to express their feelings and thoughts, as well as to let their parents understand the questioner's feelings for their boyfriend and the relationship between them. It might also be beneficial to explain why the questioner believes their boyfriend deserves their parents' trust and respect.

It might also be helpful for the questioner to try to understand the root of their parents' concerns. It is often the case that parents have objections based on their desire for the questioner's happiness and their worries about the future.

It might be helpful to try to understand their concerns and find ways to alleviate them.

It might be helpful to seek support from others in the family. Sometimes, the daughter is the parent's daughter, and the parent can be the stronger party in the communication process. If the daughter's communication with her parents reaches an impasse, she may wish to consider seeking assistance from a third party, such as the support of a close relative who is closer to the parents, or having them communicate with their parents, or a family counselor or psychologist.

They can provide professional advice and suggestions to help you communicate better and solve problems. It may be helpful to ensure your child has a support system in place, whether it's friends, other family members, or professionals, who can provide help and comfort when they feel stressed.

It would be beneficial to make a plan. Demonstrating maturity through responsible actions and decisions can include academic efforts, independence in personal life, and planning for the future.

You might consider working with your boyfriend to develop a long-term plan that includes your goals, academic and career development, etc. Showing it to your parents could be a good way to demonstrate your seriousness and commitment to the plan.

This may help to strengthen the relationship. At the same time, the questioner can also look for a solution that is acceptable to both parties.

It may require time and patience, but at times, finding a middle ground can be an effective way to resolve conflicts.

It would be beneficial for the questioner to focus on their own growth and development, and to improve their independence and self-confidence. It would be helpful to focus on personal growth and development.

Growth in any area, whether academic, professional, or personal, can enhance your confidence and potentially influence your parents' perception of your maturity. This can not only help you better navigate family dynamics but also empower you to pursue your own happiness.

It would be beneficial to consider financial independence as a goal to work towards as soon as possible. While you and your boyfriend are not yet financially independent, you can start planning your financial future together so that you can live independently in the future.

It might be helpful for the questioner and her boyfriend to consider finding part-time jobs or internships, which could help to reduce the family's financial burden and create more independence for you.

It would be beneficial to maintain faith and hope, despite the difficulties you are currently facing. Having hope for the future is an important aspect to keep in mind.

Many couples have overcome similar challenges to build stronger, more stable relationships. It may be helpful to believe that the feelings between the questioner and her boyfriend are real and worth fighting for.

At the same time, it might be helpful to set some personal boundaries. If the situation does not improve, it might be beneficial to consider your own happiness and mental health. I hope these suggestions will be helpful to the questioner, and I wish you good luck!

Hello. I am Coach Yu, and I am going to discuss this topic with you.

First, we must establish boundaries. It is essential to understand the boundaries of others and to know one's own boundaries. Boundaries distinguish us from others. In family relationships, parents and children have their own boundaries, such as their own interests and hobbies, and their own ways of doing things.

As the original poster wrote, I was full of hope and planning for my future. But suddenly, my parents' prejudices became the status quo, and they insisted on forcing me to break up.

We must ask ourselves if there are any words or behaviors of our parents that make us feel uncomfortable or offended.

Let's talk about control. Some parents want to control their children because they don't see them as individuals with their own personalities. They mistakenly see their children as part of themselves and want to control them to fulfill their own wishes.

Children who are controlled by their parents for a long time lose their self-confidence and become puppets, living according to their parents' wishes. This can lead to high risks of anxiety and depression as they grow up.

As the original poster said, I can't accept their pressure. I just agree with them superficially to calm their extreme emotions. Every time we try to communicate, it ends with me being accused of being selfish and rebellious. I'm not going to put up with it.

Take the time to have an honest conversation with your parents. Listen to their childhood experiences, understand them from different perspectives, and feel their real state of life. Be direct and tell them what you want them to do in the future now that your daughter has grown up.

Communication can release and soothe your emotions while enhancing your parent-child relationship. Be prepared for both eventualities. If your parents readily accept it, you can gradually and steadily reconcile their relationship through your own maturity.

If they can't accept it at once, we shouldn't be discouraged. After all, it's been a habit for so many years. We will create the right opportunities to communicate again, and we know that time and sincerity will make them see their own growth.

Finally, we must talk about loving yourself. The questioner is excellent at noticing their emotions and asking for help. So let's start by caring for ourselves, taking care of our bodies and our feelings.

We can and should try to reconcile with our emotions. When we feel anxious and about to collapse, we can immediately call a stop, take a deep breath, and do something else, such as listening to music, stretching, etc., to distract ourselves. Meditation and mindfulness are also very good ways to regulate our emotions. We can also try to record what our feelings are at the moment.

You are in control of your writing, so be honest and write about your feelings. This will help us understand the origins and effects of emotions and identify the root of the problem.

Seek help if you need it. This matter is troubling you, and it's not easy to overcome it immediately. Find a family member or friend you trust and who has always given you positive support to talk to. If you feel the need, find a counselor. You need to release your emotions to relieve the heaviness and blockages in your heart.

You must also adjust your mood, go out into nature, listen to the frogs croaking, and smell the birds chirping and the flowers blooming. Feel the real you and experience real life.

You must complete your current studies, enrich your inner self, discover your unique value, and realize that life is a process of continuous experience. Life is a cycle, and you will tie and untie it.

Read "Nonviolent Communication."

Hello. I am Bai Li Yina, and I am here to provide you with the support and guidance you need.

The questioner stated that she and her boyfriend had been in love since high school and had been in college for three years. Their relationship was very stable, but they encountered strong opposition from their parents, who held prejudices against her boyfriend. You can accept a breakup if the two sides are incompatible, but you cannot choose to break up just to please your parents. When you are not financially independent and cannot afford to leave your parents, you must take a stand.

[Situation analysis]

You are an independent girl with your own ideas. It is wrong for your parents to break up a beautiful relationship against your will. You are entitled to feel the pain and despair you are experiencing. Let us think about what happened and how to deal with it.

1. Your boyfriend of three years, from high school to college, did your parents not know about your relationship until college? They suddenly objected, so why didn't they object before?

Something unpleasant must have happened.

2. Do your parents oppose it because they feel you are deceiving them? Or is it just because they think it's too early for you to fall in love?

I want to know what their expectations are and what they think is the harm of dating.

3. You want your parents to bless your relationship. How should you portray your boyfriend when communicating with them? How do parents form prejudices against boys they don't know?

Tell me what your boyfriend has done that your parents don't like.

[Recommended methods to try]

The answers to the above questions will help you identify the core of the problem. When we have arguments and disagreements with others, we must find the core of the problem and then solve it through negotiation. You can use the following methods to find a solution:

1. Write down the good points of your favorite boyfriend and the characteristics of the boyfriend your parents hope you will find in the future. Then, identify the similarities and differences between the two. It's essential to understand yourself and your partner.

2. Write down everything that has made you feel better during the three years you have been together. Include the things that have touched you when you were with your boyfriend, the good things your boyfriend has done for you, the reasons you like him, and what your future with him will be like. You can mention all of this to your parents, whether you mean to or not.

3. You and your boyfriend need to face the difficulty you are facing together. If you want to be with him for the rest of your life, you will have to face more difficulties together in the future. If you can't get through this difficulty, you will never have a bright future. His performance in this challenge is crucial.

4. Put yourself in the position of an observer and take a good look to see if he is someone you can trust with your life. Don't approach the issue with hostility towards your parents. Keep a record of the things they oppose, find out where they don't understand correctly, and don't argue with them about it. Prove them wrong with facts.

5. You said you can wait, but you don't want to despair. You have every reason to be hopeful for change.

Don't lose heart. Believe in your choices and judgments, whether it's about love or life.

These methods will help you.

You can do this. It will take time and patience, but you will get through this. Don't worry or be afraid. Many people have been in your situation and have come out the other side.

The world and I are with you. You are not alone. I am certain that you will find an early solution to the fog in your heart and find your own most comfortable state.

I appreciate those who have liked and commented on my posts. I wish you peace and joy.