Memoirs of Time 2022, Chapter 7: Friends and significant others

Memoirs of 2022, Chapter 7

When I think about the friendship, I am reminded of the lyrics, "A friend is hard to find, but once you have one, you will never be alone..." Indeed, having many friends means having many ways to go, and having many enemies means having many obstacles—but it also means having many opportunities to grow and learn!

Friendship:

This year has brought some exciting changes to my friendships! Some friends I used to work with have gradually cut off contact with each other due to their respective interests. At first, they got together because of their common interest in psychology, but when it came to their immediate interests, they discovered the true nature of human nature!

Mr. Kevin Xu once said something really interesting. He said that the biggest problem with psychological institutions is internal management. But here's the thing: the complete exposure of the nature of human nature is not a bad thing! After all, when it comes to vital interests, people are selfish. And that's beyond reproach! There's no way to judge the other person's character. So, at worst, you can just smile indifferently!

So when some cracks appeared in some friendships this year, I didn't try too hard to force things. After all, we're all adults, and we all have our own ways of thinking. What we think isn't necessarily what the other person agrees with. There's a saying that a forced relationship is not a happy one, and this is also true in friendships. So in this relationship, I didn't try to fix things, but gave each other a free space. I also chose to take a step back. After all, is there really a broader sky when you take a step back? Absolutely!

In my friendships, I have always valued harmony and followed the principle of "if people don't bully me, I won't bully them." I'm a kindhearted person who gives too much, but I'm learning to set boundaries. I've realized that some things are justifiable and that I should do them. This has inadvertently formed a "pleasing" personality. I'm working on being more assertive and not taking things personally.

However, later, while studying psychology, I learned the words "principles" and "boundaries" and also learned to bravely say "no" at the right time and to refuse appropriately. As a result, I was thrilled to find that I did not feel too much pent-up emotion inside!

During the year, I made some new friends in real life. There was a retired older sister who was a few years older than me. She was generous and enthusiastic, and her outgoing and fun-loving personality influenced me. We could talk about anything and everything!

I also had the chance to meet some great peers who were taking the training course with me to obtain a certificate. We had a lot of fun doing exercises together and helping each other out during the learning process. Because I have had more work experience than her, we once had a two-hour heart-to-heart talk, during which she discussed her work plan and future development direction with me. It was so inspiring to see her complete trust in me!

Later, I met some incredible friends I'd never met before through the Yixinli platform. I participated in the book club training camp, and every morning I met with friends who were reading and growing together through Tencent meetings. There was also Topic Jun, who encouraged me with his updates and Q&A circles; Master Ruoyi; Master Shushan Winquan; Liunian Shiyu; Biluojianghu; Strawberry, Sunflower; Tian Tian Hao Hao Xue Xi; Kelsey; and so many other outstanding teacher friends. Although we didn't have much contact, their love for life and positive and optimistic sharing also gave me a lot of positive energy.

Teacher-student relationship:

In terms of teacher-student relationships, I'm so grateful to have had the incredible Mr. Sun as a teacher of high school Chinese. He's the most gentle, refined, well-read, and reasonable person I've ever met. He's also so unruffled in his dealings with others! The year before last, I discussed my work problems and interpersonal relationships with him, and he and his wife gave me so much guidance in various directions. Since the teacher is now over 70 years old, I've been so happy to give him space in the last two years, but I still love keeping up with his circle of friends, occasionally liking their posts or leaving messages.

3. Other important relationships:

After meeting so many outstanding teachers and peers, I have come to understand that "there is always someone better than you" and that one should be humble. Therefore, in many cases, I always respect others first when getting along with them. If someone respects me one foot, I will respect them one zhang—and it's a great feeling!

4. Next year's plan:

After having met all kinds of people, I may not be very good at interpersonal relationships, but I have learned to take advantage of others' strengths and compensate for my own weaknesses. Like attracts like, and people are divided into groups.

We all live in groups, and I can't change other people, but I can change myself! I'll learn to adapt to the environment, to the group, and to the relationship.

Hello, question asker!

You asked about intimate relationships, family relationships, and now you're asking about friendships and teacher-student relationships. It's clear that you attach great importance to relationships. While friendships and teacher-student relationships may not account for as large a proportion or carry as much weight in a person's life as the previous two relationships, they are also indispensable. They can sometimes even bring us warmth and support that the previous two relationships cannot.

It still hurts to answer this question, even in middle age. Women in particular often find themselves too busy taking care of work and the home to manage their friendships.

I've lost touch with most of my school friends, scattered all over the place. It's difficult to maintain pure and in-depth relationships with friends after work.

I am building friendships.

This year, I made a conscious decision not to go to work or participate in social activities. Instead, I focused on two key areas: seeking medical treatment and forging new friendships. I actively engaged with my treatment team and formed connections with other patients. I also utilized Yixinli as a platform to share updates on my activities, which led to interactions with other netizens on the platform.

I was happy to reconnect with my best friend from university when I was struggling with my illness. We had a strong relationship in university and kept in touch after graduation, but as our children were born and grew up, we gradually lost contact as we both lacked the energy.

She was delighted to see me. We talked about my illness, our emotional states, and our respective families of origin. This hadn't happened before. Despite not seeing each other for years, our friendship remained strong. I sensed that we were more genuine and open than before.

I have also made two changes. First, during the lockdown in Guangzhou, I took the initiative to chat with a few mothers in the community. I have never been a proactive person because I am afraid that if I approach someone, they may not be happy about it. This year, I have decided to let go of this concern. I will approach you first if I want to, whether you want to or not.

Second, I will vent to my friends about my family. In the past, I was embarrassed to talk about my family in front of outsiders because I wanted to be understood. Now I know that if you understand, you understand. If you don't, then forget it. Anyway, I feel quite comfortable talking about it.

I realized I didn't need to worry too much. I could express myself honestly, and I would remain friends with those who could accept me. If they couldn't, I would simply eliminate them.

2. Teacher-student relationship:

I have read stories about celebrities who have a particularly good relationship with their teachers, where the teacher is also a friend. Their interactions are based on ideas and interests, and I envy them. Unfortunately, I have not kept in touch with any of my teachers from any period of my life.

This is simply a matter of my personality. From elementary school to university, there were always 60 to 70 people in my classes, and I was always the quietest one in the class. I don't believe any of my teachers remember me. After graduation, I left my hometown, and I've accomplished a great deal since then. I have no intention of going back to see them.

The only time I contributed was when my classmates threw a party and we all bought a gift for the teacher.

I left my hometown to go to school because I didn't have a close connection with my relatives and elders. I visited them when I went back to my hometown, but their way of thinking was not on the same plane as mine. I couldn't have in-depth exchanges with them.

Frankly, I'm not sure the counselor would count. The counselor I went to last year always wanted me to understand why my mother was like that, without paying attention to how hard it was for me emotionally. She often gave me advice and told me what I could do. When I raised my concerns and said I couldn't do it, she always tried to persuade me.

I left her because I was becoming increasingly unhappy.

This year, I found a new counselor and consulted with her almost ten times. She was very tolerant of me, constantly affirmed my feelings, and guided me to deeply experience and accept my feelings. I also expressed my various feelings more boldly, including my dissatisfaction with her. I was surprised at how quickly my dissatisfaction disappeared once I said it out loud.

She didn't solve anything for me, but my overall state of life improved.

I've learned that I shouldn't give up. There will always be someone who understands and accepts me. I've also learned that the more natural and bold I am in relationships, the more harmonious they will be.

3. Other important relationships:

I lack relationships, and I am not interested in pursuing any more.

4. Next year's plan:

I will keep in close contact with my old college friends, and I will also get in touch with a few former classmates and colleagues.

I will learn to know myself better, understand my feelings, and express myself more boldly.

I am Haru Aoki, and I love the world.

Chapter 7 of my "Memoirs of 2022" document outlines my experiences with friends and significant others.

Yesterday, I conducted a review of the close relationships in my personal and professional life, including those with family members, parents and children, and spouses. I am gratified to report that I live in a happy family with friendly parent-child relationships and harmonious spousal relationships.

Today, I will continue to inventory the interpersonal and social relationships in relationships.

1. Relationship

1. Relationship with colleagues

My colleagues have undergone some changes as they have joined and left study groups. However, colleagues who can communicate and share the same views will support each other without hesitation when needed, even if they have had little contact for a few years.

I place a high value on the strength of friendships between colleagues. Once a relationship has been established, it is relatively straightforward to maintain a positive connection, provided there are no significant issues to be addressed.

2. Teacher-Student Relationship

I regret to inform you that my mentor passed away today. I am deeply saddened by this news. My mentor was the first senior leader I worked under. He was not easily trusting, but he had great faith in us.

He would assign me tasks to assess my abilities. I would complete them ahead of schedule, within the time limit he had set.

Furthermore, she accomplishes tasks that I would like to complete and receives her approval.

After my mentor retired, we were placed under the guidance of his wife, who was also a valuable mentor in my professional development. She had an excellent ability to observe and understand people. She recognized my eagerness to learn and was willing to share her extensive work experience with me freely, entrusting me with significant responsibilities.

Despite the pressure, she promoted us young people and rewarded us. Our careers were very successful from the beginning, and we were grateful for the teachings of our mentors.

After our mentors retired, we would visit them every year on holidays and their birthdays to express our gratitude for their guidance. When we are not in communication during the week, we send them a WeChat greeting.

I am deeply saddened by the passing of my mentors. They played a pivotal role in my professional development, and I am grateful for their guidance and support. I offer my sincere prayers for their well-being and peace.

3⃣, Other significant relationships

In addition, I also have a subordinate who is also a long-time friend and colleague. We have both retired and have children and grandchildren, and our professional relationship remains unchanged.

She would request our assistance when faced with challenges at home, and I would similarly seek her counsel when I was distressed. She would assist me in addressing my concerns.

We serve as each other's confidential advisors.

Due to the ongoing pandemic, we have been unable to communicate face-to-face. However, we have been able to maintain contact through WeChat, exchanging information, offering encouragement and reminders, and fostering a sense of continued connection and support.

2. Plans for the Coming Year

In the event that the epidemic subsides in the coming year, there are a few key actions to be taken:

1. The first step is to pay a personal tribute to your teacher.

2. Maintain contact with existing business contacts, continue to support business proposals as usual, and participate in activities organized by business contacts.

3. Continue to cultivate relationships with other key individuals. Following the completion of your studies in psychology, you will be well-positioned to provide guidance and support to individuals and families facing challenges in areas such as family relationships, parent-child dynamics, and other pertinent matters.

"Make new friends but keep the old." My parents taught me from a young age that "the more friends you have, the better," and I've learned so much from that! I've learned the truth of being kind to others, and I've learned how to be kind to others.

I'm so lucky to have friends from two main circles: one is my work circle, and the other is my interest circle. (I even classify classmates as "relatives" because "classmates for life are relatives for three lifetimes.")

I've been in the same career for over 20 years, and I'm lucky to still have all my old friends in my circle! We're all busy with our own work and work for different companies, but we still have a great connection and meet up often. Our friendship is still as strong as ever!

My circle of interests is made up of friends I have met and been attracted to through a shared love of learning. It's a fantastic group of people! On the Yixinli platform, I have my own think tank, a group of friends who work together on creative projects, and a group of little whales who accompany me in the live broadcast room.

The absolute best thing that happened to me this year was meeting a kindred spirit in my feed. We totally hit it off and became instant friends online, without any awkwardness. She taught me to paint, I shared my life with her, and together we used art to perceive the world.

Thanks to her, I have also integrated into a new group of people and met a group of amazing sisters who love to read, learn, and share. Every day we meditate, read in the morning, and brainstorm together. And yesterday we even had an online Christmas Eve party!

In this group, everyone opens their hearts and expresses themselves sincerely. It's incredible how many people are just like this friend and I, who have never met before, but there is no sense of distance at all. When we give love and sincerity, we also receive a lot of love in return!

A friend is someone to share happiness with and comfort in times of sorrow. The world is full of truth, goodness, and beauty! As long as you believe, you can make friends with anyone.

I'm so lucky to have a godmother who cares about me more than anyone else apart from my blood relatives! We haven't formally acknowledged our relationship, but our bond has long since transcended that.

My godmother is the best! She doesn't just ask after my well-being, she treats me like family! We've been close for nearly 20 years!

She knows me best, so she worries about me the most, which just goes to show how much she cares! This year alone, she has made two special trips from afar to visit my parents-in-law at our home, offering her condolences as a member of my family.

When I listen to my "godmother" say things that only a biological mother can say out of love and protection for her daughter, my eyes are moist and my heart is warm. She understands me better than my lover—and she's my godmother for a reason!

In this world, there are so many kinds of feelings that don't ask for anything in return. My relationship with my "godmother" started with a shared interest, and although we parted ways, we have kept in touch. As the saying goes, "A close neighbor is better than a distant relative," so if you want to maintain a deep relationship, you must keep in touch—and it's so worth it!

I listen to my "godmother" and am so grateful for and cherish the kindness my in-laws show me. I use my intelligence and wisdom to make my little family happier and happier!

I'm so excited to talk about my relationship with my former leader, who has been transferred for two months. The previous differences of opinion and minor conflicts at work have long since faded, and we're now on the same page!

However, in the course of our interactions, combined with his management style and the feelings of other colleagues who worked with him, I made an incredible discovery: my former leader did indeed have childhood trauma that needed healing.

He was easily irritated, would not let others speak, was used to negating and disparaging, overly concerned with details, and liked to be calculating. Of course, these were his problems, not mine. I just wanted to see my own patterns in our year of interaction, and I'm so glad I did!

I've learned so much from this experience! I've realized that being overly tolerant and even compromising led to my views and feelings being increasingly disrespected. This is the biggest takeaway and summary I have from this relationship: putting yourself in someone else's shoes and thinking about their feelings doesn't mean sacrificing your own interests and being unreasonable.

I am so grateful to my former leader! He used this relationship to help me see myself in a new light. Kindness without wisdom is powerless.

I want to take the best care of my circle of friends and treat everyone who truly loves and helps me with all their hearts! We should definitely get together more often when we have time, because relationships are built through spending time together!

2022 Memories, Chapter 7: Friends and Significant Others

1. Friendships

I like talking about friendship more than marriage. It makes me feel better.

I value friendship more than love. I like to make friends and spend time happily with them.

I have made some new friends this year. The most important thing is that we get along well. Whether we make friends through books or through psychology, it is all very pure friendship. If there are no accidents, I should be able to maintain long-term contact with these good friends. Online, we can discuss topics of mutual interest. Offline, if there is the opportunity, we can meet more often. The closer the contact, the deeper the friendship!

This year, I had a fight with a friend because we had different opinions. I deleted my friend's WeChat. Neither of us would give way. Fortunately, we made up. Now we think about problems from each other's perspective more, so there are fewer misunderstandings.

I have also met many good teachers on the Yixinli platform. I feel close to them, even though I've never met them. They include Buluojianghu, Shengao, Xiangyuchenghuan, Wanshiri, Tiantian, Feixiang, Shushanwenquan, and many others. There are also some other very good teachers. This platform is warm and loving. I no longer feel lonely and helpless. I have always been paying close attention, even though we don't often contact each other. I am grateful for the encounters. I hope we can continue to be there for each other and make progress together in the future.

2. Teacher-student relationship:

My Chinese teacher and math teacher had the greatest influence on me. My favorite subject was Chinese, so they had the greatest impact on me. My Chinese teacher was kind and easygoing. He was patient and never lost his temper. I loved Chinese class.

But in high school, it was my math teacher. He never criticized me, always smiling and saying, "You're good at the humanities, but you need to work harder at math!" He would even pretend to hit me. At that time, I felt that our math teacher was really cute!

I can't learn math well!

I don't see my teachers much now, but I still think about them. They taught me to be a good example to others. They also taught me to be optimistic. I hope they are all well!

3. Other important relationships:

My superior taught me that controlling my emotions is important. If I can keep my emotions stable, I can work steadily. These words are still in my mind. Whenever something happens, I reflect on myself, considering whether I have been stable and considerate.

I pay the most attention to this in relationships. Even if I'm busy, I'll remind myself to do this. Popularity isn't innate. It depends on respecting and understanding others. I've always done this.

4. Plans for next year:

If you ask me how to make friends, I'll tell you: be sincere! The more people I meet, the more I feel that sincerity is the most important thing. Keep it simple and sincere!

Talk more and your friends will get better.

In the coming year, I will cherish friendships, value friends who respect and appreciate me, and treat them with sincerity. I will love what I love and cherish what I cherish. I am a man of my word and a practical person. I welcome everyone to be my friend.

I love you, world!

Hello, question asker, I apologize for the delay in my responses.

1. Friendships:

1) Could you please share some insights into the changes you've noticed in your friendships this year? Have you had the chance to make new friends, or has there been a shift in the dynamics of your existing friendships?

I must admit that I am not particularly fond of this neighborhood. As a result, I tend to spend most of my time at home. The people I know here are mostly just people I greet when I pass them in the street. The only friend I had here has moved away due to family circumstances.

I find myself in a state of loneliness.

We enjoy chatting on WeChat, and they are all old friends from junior high school to the present. Some have gradually become less involved, and there are now just a few left.

In addition, my college roommates and I remain close and enjoy frequent contact. We value our friendship and are committed to maintaining it. The four of us have been friends since junior high school and enjoy getting together regularly.

I believe that friendship has always been there and will not affect getting along as time goes by.

2) Have there been any challenges in your friendships this year? How did you navigate them?

I have experienced the loss of several close friends over the past few years. Some of them ceased communication with me because I expressed my concerns too frequently. Some of them gradually drifted apart because I shifted my focus to pursuing a micro-business. And one of them became less active in initiating contact, which led to a gradual separation.

Some friends are truly committed to making things work, but if she has made the decision to leave, there is little that can be done to change her mind.

My childhood friend has been a great source of support and assistance since I was young. Despite her age difference, she has been a valuable ally, particularly in matters related to our shared family. Her parents have also extended a helping hand to my family on occasion.

I truly hope that this relationship will last forever, and that she will always be happy.

Among all my friends, my childhood friend is the one who has the best qualities of a little sister. Sometimes we discuss her mother-in-law together, and I enjoy discussing my husband as well. We have been together since the fourth grade of elementary school.

I am truly blessed to have such amazing friends in my life.

3) Could you please share what you have given and received in your friendships?

If we want our friendships to last, it's important to value each other. I like to think of myself as a tree hole: a place of support and encouragement.

They were always there to encourage me and help me keep moving forward, little by little.

4) Could you kindly share any new insights or inspirations about friendship that you have gained through this year's experience?

I'm grateful for all the support they've provided. I encourage you to consider engaging in more altruistic activities. The process of helping others can also be a form of self-care.

2. Teacher-student relationship:

1) Which teacher or elder has communicated with you more this year, had the greatest impact on you/given you the most help? Please review your relationship with this person this year.

I am grateful to have had the support of a friend on the Internet this year. I had the opportunity to assist him in contacting a consultant on his platform. I must admit that I was not in the best place mentally at the time, and I had not been studying as hard as I could have been. I also experienced some feelings of depression. Despite this, I was able to maintain a professional connection with him through WeChat voice messages. Even though it was a work-related contact, I could sense his strong presence.

I have come to recognize that people who are very different from me, and I am at the bottom, are quite fortunate to meet network leaders at the top. Gradually, I have started to accept myself.

(Although I made a mistake later on in this matter, I benefited greatly from it. Several teachers were kind enough to open up their hearts to me, and I learned a great deal from them. In psychological counseling, empathy is of the utmost importance.

While I still have a long way to go in terms of developing the necessary skills and knowledge, I am pleased to say that I have made significant progress.

2) Could you kindly share any new insights or understanding you have gained this year in terms of communicating with teachers and elders?

It would be beneficial to listen to other people's opinions more, without feeling the need to refute them immediately. Sometimes, taking a moment to listen quietly can be more helpful than speaking up. In the past, I found it challenging to hear other people's perspectives, even when they were well-intentioned. Over time, I came to realize that it's important to approach interactions with an open mind and a willingness to understand.

It is important to accept others and yourself.

3. Other significant relationships:

If there are other relationship partners (such as colleagues or superiors) who are also very important to you, you may find it helpful to refer to the above points and review them in the same way.

In the process of confiding in someone, one visitor observed that I was experiencing a period of depression, which in turn encouraged me. Because he had a long-standing familiarity with me and a deep understanding of my situation, he was able to provide invaluable assistance from beginning to end.

"I feel like I'm in a pressure cooker, suffocating myself. That period was really difficult. The process of domestic violence is painful, and I feel powerless. I can't protect myself very well, so I tend to isolate myself, like a helpless child. I didn't tell my mother about my grievances, for fear of worrying her. I also tend to blame myself for what happened, and I have nowhere to tell my grievances.

At one point, I found the courage to confide in someone about what had happened to me. I was grateful for the support I received from my family, but I also realized that I needed to rely on myself to become strong.

It is somewhat disheartening to write this, but I am also pleased to have grown up and developed the strength to protect myself.

4. Looking ahead to next year, I would like to consider the following:

If you have any plans for the coming year in terms of these friendships and relationships with significant others, we would love to hear them.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider your shortcomings and see if there's a way to break the deadlock. You have the potential to be your own powerful support.

I believe that everyone who comes into your life has a purpose.

I believe that everyone has a purpose in their life.

Hello! I'm the one who's eager to learn more about relationships.

You covered so many fascinating topics related to friendships, teacher-student relationships, and other relationships in the article. It really made me think about myself in a whole new way!

Generally speaking, I am a cold-hearted person, indifferent to others and relationships. This is very different from the impression most people who know me have, but I have gradually come to accept it. In fact, I used to deny it!

I am a person who is warm on the outside but cold on the inside. Because I was neglected as a child, I have a rather heavy pleasing personality and at the same time a deep sense of inferiority. This has caused me to be calm, tolerant, and enthusiastic in "live" relationships. Once we part ways, however, I am completely passive when it comes to maintaining contact by phone, letter, etc.

Maybe it was a fear of anything bad happening, so I chose to hibernate.

I'm so lucky to have a few close friends who understand and love me. They've always been proactive in our interactions, saving me from being alone. Even though I haven't kept in touch with my childhood friend from kindergarten, I haven't lost any of my inner feelings for her. So, there's no strangeness or distance in our occasional contact!

We've been best friends since high school, and she's the person I turn to when I'm feeling down. There's nothing better than being hugged by her! My two best friends from university are currently flirting with each other every day in a WeChat group. They share the bittersweetness of life with each other and love each other.

I'm also lucky to have a close friend, a sister, who is like a beacon of light. Her company has given me so many different understandings of life and living!

Of course, our friendship is not all happy times; we also have our differences and arguments. Fortunately, we both choose to talk things out, and after a good discussion, everything is forgotten. This kind of disagreement happened once this year. My best friend Dami wanted me to give her psychological counseling. After repeatedly refusing, she still insisted. I was a little shaken, and I analyzed the pros and cons for her. She still firmly believed that I was the only one who could help her.

I was excited to accompany her to experience what counseling is like. However, if it goes deeper, I still insist on a referral. But at the end, when it came time to start, I backed out again. I didn't want to take the risk of losing my best friend, but I'm so happy I got to experience this with her!

When I mentioned this in the group chat, she expressed her understanding, but in the following days I could clearly feel her avoiding me. I was eager to explain to her as soon as possible, but then I held back, thinking that this might be an amazing opportunity for both of us to become aware of ourselves.

After a few days of mulling things over, we finally had a chance to talk about what happened. She was able to express her feelings and share how she was hurt, and I was able to clarify my thoughts and concerns. Our hour-long conversation was so eye-opening and brought us closer together!

Our love and attachment to each other is a wonderful thing. It allows us to give and feel in our own ways.

I'm so grateful to have a professional predecessor who has helped me so much this year! She's younger than me but has been in the industry for a long time and is really good at her job. She's been a great source of help and support professionally, and she's also been so understanding and encouraging when it comes to my personal growth. Just a few words from her can really shift my mood and give me a new perspective on things!

Even though I'm an introvert, I still find ways to express my gratitude and thoughts to my amazing friends and seniors in the way I love to express myself. I'll carefully choose small gifts that suit them and give them little surprises to show how much I care.

I'm lucky to have a dozen or so neighbors I get along with. They're a great bunch! Every day I can get a lot of information and happiness just by watching them chatting away in the group. And it's always a treat when we have occasional gatherings.

At our age, we have both old parents and young children. Coupled with the repeated outbreaks of the pandemic over the past three years, we have had very few opportunities to meet. But this has not hindered the development and continuation of our relationships in the slightest! I still maintain a small but meaningful circle of friends, and I treat people sincerely, without forcing or pushing. Other relationships are as light and carefree as water, which is quite good!

If I have any expectations for 2023, I really hope that all of my friends and neighbors are happy and healthy, and that we can still love and miss each other in a way that is comfortable for both of us. I'm really excited for a smooth year in 2023, and we will have more opportunities to meet!

I highly recommend Martin Seligman's "Authentic Happiness" and "Know Thyself, Accept Thyself." I truly believe that while we should love ourselves, we can also benefit from embracing more companionship!

Memoirs of 2022: Chapter 7: Friends and Significant Others

I have established new friendships, and I am gratified by this development. Despite the fact that my previous friends and I do not interact as frequently as we once did, we maintain communication and are accustomed to the gradual disengagement that occurs in all relationships. Although we do not engage in frequent conversation, we continue to regard each other as friends.

This year, there have been instances of strain in my relationships with friends. One particularly challenging situation involved a disagreement with a former junior high school classmate regarding the repayment of a loan. Despite having agreed to a repayment schedule, the individual in question continued to pressure me to repay the loan immediately. This persistence, coupled with the fact that I had already set a repayment date and deadline, led to a significant deterioration in our relationship. Ultimately, I chose to end the friendship due to this unforeseen obstacle.

I am motivated to repair the damage caused by his insistence on immediate repayment of the debt, which led me to conclude that he does not view me as a reliable friend and does not trust my commitments. Ultimately, this lack of trust led me to terminate the friendship.

In my friendship with friends, I perceive them to be sincere in their interactions with me. They frequently invite me to enjoy culinary experiences and demonstrate remarkable generosity. In return, I reciprocate their sincerity. We provide each other with support during challenging periods, offering understanding and active listening. I believe this is an optimal approach to fostering friendship.

With regard to friendship, it is my hope that my friends are individuals who share my interests. It is not a simple matter to meet friends with whom one shares the same frequency of interaction. Therefore, when such friends are encountered, it is important to cherish them while also learning to understand and listen to each other, to get along well with friends, and to maintain a friendship over time.

It is probable that the individual with whom I communicate the most frequently is my father. He has educated me about the relationship aspects of marriage, with the hope that I will enter into a marriage and assume the responsibility of raising children. However, I do not intend to do so in the near future. Is this a task? It is not, in and of itself. Rather, it is a restriction that we place on ourselves.

Leadership relationships: I recognize that I still lack a certain ability to communicate and understand. On occasion, I am unable to express my own purpose and logic with sufficient clarity, which results in a sense of disorientation. I have consistently endeavored to enhance the organization of my expression and to refine my communication skills.

It is my hope that these friendships and significant relationships will remain consistently positive and supportive. In the coming year, I will maintain a conscious awareness of these relationships, identifying areas for improvement and growth, and fostering continuous personal development.

Let us proceed.

Hi, I'm Phil. I'd give you a warm hug if I could.

Happy holidays!

In terms of my emotional relationships, especially friendships, there have been some big changes this year. They've really shaken things up, to the point where I don't know when I'll be able to recover.

One is a guy who helped me when I was going through the transition from junior high to high school. We've now admitted our relationship and reconciled, even becoming brother and sister. The other person has experienced major family changes, though.

The second thing is that I've known a pair of twins for about four or five years, and our relationship has always been really good. This year, for various reasons, we had a lot of disagreements, and at one point our relationship even broke down.

The third is a teacher who has been with me for almost 20 years and is also my best friend. She really knew me well. This year, she passed away from cancer. She was so good to her students that she never accepted gifts, never went out to dinner, and never let her students visit her. But she made an exception for me, and we would get together every year at Christmas. She was also my psychology teacher and the first person to acknowledge and accept me, as well as someone who showed me the way.

"Emotional changes this year":

It's not great, but it's not so bad that I'd jump at the chance to leave.

I'm also studying psychology and want to work in this industry.

So I try to apply what I've learned to my life, even if I don't realize it.

In particular, when someone asks me a question like that, I'll try to figure out if there's a way to solve the problem using my own experience or some knowledge I've learned.

This is also why there was such a huge falling-out with the twins.

From the outside, it seemed like we three got along pretty well, at least at first. We had a lot to argue about.

In particular, the two sisters spoke very harshly to each other. Anyone who heard them would think they were deliberately targeting me, insulting me, and even provoking me.

This also led to many times when people outside the relationship couldn't control themselves and got involved, thinking that our relationship was wrong, or even if I really was wrong, what the other person said was too much.

The other person also has various degrees of inferiority complex due to their family of origin. They often ask people around them that they can trust if what they said was really too much.

So many people dislike them, but why don't I hate them and get angry?

I answered your questions as many times as you asked because I didn't feel any ill will in what you were saying. You were indeed thinking of me, and you were right to scold me, so why should I be angry?

After we argued more often, I started to learn about the various problems the other person was facing in their life. Then there were disagreements about ideas and behavioral patterns. I wasn't sure if I was thinking about the other person, or if I really understood them, or why they behaved the way they did. After a while, we finally had a complete argument and broke up. I deleted the contact information and the group was disbanded. I never contacted the other person again, and I also said some pretty offensive things. It was a state where neither of us could go back.

However, after a lot of persuasion, many friends went to talk to the other party. After the conversation, the other party took the initiative to come back and apologize. I had a feeling all along that one of them had psychological problems. I knew I had to resolve this matter, but I struggled with it for a long time. I couldn't say anything, even hinting, that she had said outrageous things and offended everyone. I also couldn't say that I was the only one who could forgive her or that I shouldn't take the lead and say that I could only accept her if I forgave her. Everyone had to forgive her actions before this matter could truly be considered over.

When people told me you could be angry and make demands, I felt uncomfortable. I told the other person that going to the doctor was the most important thing. Everything else could be discussed later. As long as you can go for a medical exam and cooperate with the doctor's advice, I can forgive you. But as time passed, I cared more and more about this matter. I became more and more unhappy and tempted to lose my temper.

But now we're back on good terms. After the diagnosis, the other person has listened carefully to the precautions we've mentioned and has been very cooperative with the treatment. So for now, there's no issue.

"Goodbye, My Teacher and Friend":

The other day, I went to a café for the first time in my life on Christmas Day. I spent the morning there by myself and then went to see a very touching movie about love in the afternoon.

The plot of the movie is actually quite coincidental. It's about a girl in one world and a boy in another who know there's a parallel world. They discover how to travel between the worlds and try to save each other, but no matter how many times they try, the result is always the same.

In the end, they realized they couldn't change the outcome of this event. So, they took the chance to cross over to both worlds to meet and say goodbye to each other. At least they could see you and say goodbye to you.

I originally thought I had a good grasp on death education because I've always been calm and reassuring when someone passes away. Now that I think about it, though, it might just be because the person who died wasn't someone I knew well.

At the time, someone even joked with me, saying that your mother is in such poor health, and you rely on her so much, what are you going to do when she dies? I said that I know exactly how poor her health is, and I have long been prepared for her to leave. Then, until my mentor and friend passed away, I have actually not recovered yet. As time passed, I truly felt what it was like to lose someone who occupied a large place in my life, and it also made me start thinking again about what I would do if my mother's health really couldn't hold out.

I won't go into much detail about this, but I'll talk about something positive for the New Year.

"Future Plans":

I've realized that I need to take a more active role in managing my social circle. I often find it challenging to put myself in other people's shoes or to genuinely consider their feelings. It's more important to focus on nurturing the relationships I have than to try to be a social butterfly.

Hi, I'm Strawberry.

1. Friendships:

Some relationships are not worth the effort.

Last year, I made new friends at work. They were like ordinary friends, but we didn't interact much.

They interact with others, but not with everyone. After resigning, I cut off ties with contacts. Many friends I met through work will no longer interact, and I have deleted all of them. I do this because I am used to clearing contacts from time to time.

I've been hurt by misunderstandings in friendships. Since then, I've been more careful.

Friendship can be a two-way rush. My best friend moved this year, and we're closer than ever.

If we resist others' approaches, they won't force themselves on us just to please us. Sometimes, to gain friendship, we need to take the initiative and treat others sincerely.

2. Teacher-student relationship:

She's not my teacher, but the kids' dance teacher. She's kind and easy to get along with. She can still be strict when she needs to be. She's both a teacher and a friend. We usually chat about many things, as if there were no age gap.

3. Other important relationships:

A close neighbor is better than a distant relative. A silver relative is better than a golden neighbor. It takes luck to meet a good neighbor. Relationships are mutual. My neighbor helped me. I will be kind to others if they are kind to me.

4. Plans for next year:

☀️ Meet more often: I want to meet with the people I love at least 15 times next year.

Contact friends and family who live far away online at least once a month.

Initiative and respect.

In every relationship, you don't have to wait for the other person to take the initiative. If you cherish each other, it doesn't matter who takes the initiative. If you don't hear from the other person for a while, you can contact them.

Treat others with respect, in person or online. When others respect you, they will respect you back.

Two years ago, I would have said I had no friends.

I finally made friends this year! I never had friends as a child.

How did it happen? It seems to have happened naturally, but it wasn't that simple.

A few years ago, I realized I had no friends. I tried hard to find friends, even initiating conversations and adding people as WeChat friends.

It ended without a trace. I accepted it. Maybe I was destined to "grow old alone"!

Until March last year, I set up a reading group on WeChat. Instead of reading books, it became an opportunity for me to make friends.

At first, we studied and shared in a step-by-step manner. In June, a member shared their personal experiences and feelings about growth.

I read a quote that said people are more isolated because they don't understand each other. In this group, everyone shows themselves to each other. I wasn't led into the group at first, but I participated in an offline group in October. After participating in the first offline group, I consulted everyone's opinions, and then the group was renamed the Group Healing Group.

The members of the group have become my friends. We chat, argue, and even attack each other. But none of this has kept us apart. We have become supportive, caring, and friendly, comforting each other when we are sad. All good things must come to an end, and some people have left, but others have come.

I realized why I cared about having no friends. To live is to be remembered. Friendship is about getting along and making memories together.

I might start a book club again. This time, I'll read without distractions.

I'm a simple person with no complicated relationships. Let's keep it simple.

Friendship:

(1) I don't need to make friends as an adult. I keep in touch with a few regular friends. I don't keep in touch with friends who are married because our values are different. I find it tiring to be around people who try to persuade me to "get back on the right track."

I made new friends in a listening course.

2) I'm getting older, so I won't have a falling-out. I'll go with the flow.

3) My friends are still good to me and support me. I've learned to be less self-centered.

4) You have to face the world alone, learn to be alone, and live in the present.

Teacher-student relationship:

I didn't see my teachers much this year, but they still influence me a lot. I'm not motivated to face her.

Other important relationships:

I didn't communicate with my leaders because our values were different. I didn't like their expectations because we were different.

Next year's plan:

I need to accept myself so I can handle other relationships.

Accepting others is accepting yourself. Everything is connected, and we can only connect with love, acceptance, and tolerance.

Memoirs of 2022, Chapter 7: Friends and significant others

1. Friendships

This year, my friendships have changed a lot. I used to be the type of person who loved making friends, laughing and joking with friends, and enjoying the company of others.

Her cheerful, lively, and approachable personality has allowed her to make many friends, and I have made many concessions in maintaining long-lasting friendships. I will give up my own interests for the benefit of my friends, and I will make concessions and sacrifices to maintain relationships in a positive direction. However, I have gradually lost myself in many relationships and do not know what I really want.

After nearly three years of studying psychology, I have embarked on a journey of personal growth and have come to understand my true desires. I have realized that I want to reconnect with the authentic self I have lost touch with over the years. To achieve this, I have made significant changes in how I interact with friends. I have shifted from being an active, proactive, and enthusiastic individual in relationships to a more reserved and calm one.

My friendships have changed. I used to be positive, proactive, and enthusiastic, but few friends would take the initiative to come to me. I was neglected and not valued in the relationship. Now I have changed, and so have my friendships.

I stopped looking for them, and now they are the ones who initiate contact with me more often, wanting to chat and meet up. This change has made me feel respected and valued by my friends, something I never experienced before. This change is amazing!

At the beginning of this year, I met a new friend, and we felt like we had known each other for a long time. We were both curious and interested in each other. After we met, we got a gym membership together, learned to swim together, ran together, ate together, and talked together.

One night, we talked until 2 or 3 in the morning. At first, we both felt good. I trusted her and felt she understood me, but as things developed,

I found that I often took her into consideration when doing things, while she did things without considering me and only thinking about herself, which made me feel uncomfortable. At first, I tolerated her, thinking that she might be used to doing things only with herself in mind and didn't mean anything by it.

I consoled myself with this, but then she did it several times. Even though we had discussed something, she didn't show up and didn't say anything. I was stood up a few times like this, but I chose to forgive her, thinking that we were friends. A few times later, we went swimming together, and she got out of the water first, but she didn't tell me whether she was going to the toilet or just walking away.

At first, I followed her out to find her as soon as she surfaced. After a few of these tussles, I realized that I hadn't even had enough swimming, so I questioned why I was following her. She didn't even discuss it with me when she surfaced. Was she really going to leave or what?

This also gave me some room for choice, and on many occasions I sensed that she was not being sincere. I was sincere with her, and I communicated and discussed with her about anything, while also respecting her wishes. However, she deliberately kept things from me and hid things from me.

Later, I decided not to say anything in return. Maybe she sensed my change, because she inexplicably gave me a shampoo set and bought some dates online for me. I didn't know about any of it. She suddenly gave me a lot of things, and I sensed that something was wrong. She probably realized that she had been disrespectful to me and didn't value our friendship in the later stages of our relationship. When I also wanted to give up, she bought things to coax me, but unfortunately I didn't buy it.

She didn't take the initiative to open up, so I did. We kept apologizing. I chose to forgive her, but I won't trust her unconditionally as I used to when I get along with her again in the future.

I am not someone who makes friends easily, but once I choose to be friends with someone, I am genuinely nice to them and consider things from their perspective. In friendships, I give my true feelings, and I generally gain a deeper relationship with my friends.

I have learned that in order to maintain a healthy friendship, it is essential to find a balance between giving and receiving. This allows for a long-term and stable relationship. In addition, it is crucial to be true to yourself, communicate promptly, and avoid postponing issues.

2. Teacher-student relationship

This year, I communicated with her more, and she had the greatest influence on me. The teacher who helped me the most is my counselor. She is also considered an elder to me, as she is about the same age as my parents. Our meeting was a coincidence, and I knew she was the right person for the job.

At the time, I was still on the fence about psychological counseling. I wasn't sure if I needed it, but I was curious about how it worked. I signed up for a preliminary counseling experience. The counselor who gave me the preliminary experience said I could have a personal experience, but I felt like she was just trying to make money off me.

After I met this teacher, she broke through my layers of defense and made me willing to remove my own pretense and do counseling with her. Our relationship has gone from the beginning, when I distrusted, doubted, and belittled her, to later, when I slowly came to respect, understand, support, and cooperate with her, and now, when I completely trust her.

I have grown up quickly during the year of communicating with the teacher. I have gained control over my emotions and my future development is clear. I know what I want and I can look at problems rationally. I can also deal with difficult situations rationally.

Overall, I know myself better than ever before. I can stand on multiple perspectives and rely on myself and others. I have learned to look at people, things, and objects from a dialectical, objective, and neutral perspective.

3. Other important relationships

Two other relationships are crucial for my growth: the mother-daughter bond with my mother and the parent-child connection with my child. Last year and the year before, I transformed my relationship with my mother. I stopped obeying her orders, stopped doing what she said, and began to rebel against her. I held out against her and resisted, and she responded by cracking down even harder on me, but I just wouldn't give in.

My mother has changed the way she spends time with me this year. She takes the initiative to send me messages or call to show her concern and is patient in listening to my thoughts. She also respects me, though she may still want to change me inside. The parent-child relationship between my child and I has changed from the previous indifference, apathy, alienation, and confrontation to a much friendlier one now. He is willing to tell me anything, and he has trust and reliance in me.

4. Plans for the coming year

I'm not great at making long-term plans. I'm more used to taking one step at a time. I may plan short-term plans for a few days, but I've never made long-term plans. I also don't know how to make plans and preparations for my relationships with friends and significant others.

[2022 Thankful for my friends and significant others] 1. Friendships: 1) Have your friendships changed at all this year?

Time is a wonderful variable, bringing you some things and taking away others. The same is true of friends. They are companions in one moment in time.

I consider anyone who has given me care and encouragement, interacted with me, and is worth learning from to be my friend. When it comes to new friends I've met this year, the most I can say is that I haven't met them in person (I've seen them on some videos). However, they are a group of wonderful and warm-hearted friends. These are all familiar names: 修u老师, 放飞姐, 媛媛老师, Kelly姐, 相遇成欢, 歌来了, 雪下的花儿, 牧心, 万事如易, 怡名老师, 乡野阳太, 羯敖不寻, 鱼儿, 嘉颖, 天天, 享耳恭听, 蓓玫, 艾叔, 颜颜, and so on (all the friends who have enthusiastically interacted with and supported and encouraged me).

Needless to say, there are also topic kings, activity kings, and other kings. Thanks to joining the city's family education guidance center, I have also met some outstanding teachers and principals in the local education community.

The friend who has drifted apart is my best friend from school. Now that three of us have graduated, they have all gone to work. It's clear that the chances of us getting together are getting fewer and fewer.

The pandemic prevented me from celebrating with two friends who graduated while I was away from school.

In addition, I have a few friends from each stage of school who I get along with, but we don't keep in touch all the time. I also have a few friends from junior high school who are quite close in a small group.

I used to feel reluctant about it, but I came to understand it later. Nothing in the world is permanent, and the same goes for friendships.

2) Did a rift appear in your friendship this year?

How did you repair the damage? First, we didn't interact much, and second, we were at home during the pandemic. Most interactions were online, so I didn't see any issues with our friendship.

3) In friendship, I give and receive certain things.

I give in small ways: I take the initiative to care about friends and remember their important moments. In the first half of the year, my good friend from the dormitory was about to graduate. I invited her to dinner, made time to go hiking and take pictures with her; I went home first due to time constraints; and when it was time to graduate, I bought her a graduation gift and sent it to her.

Today is her birthday, so I sang "You Look So Good When You Smile" to her at karaoke. (As a Yang person on the fourth day, singing is indeed a bit humming.) I made sure she knew I was thinking of her.

I help my friends as much as I can. When another friend was quarantined in September, I sent her greetings in a video, chatted with her, and recommended movies for her to watch.

I recommended some movies for another good friend from high school who is home quarantining with her children. She reported back that the kids really liked them, so I recommended some more.

A close friend's grandfather recently passed away, and she was overwhelmed with tasks assigned by her teacher. She asked for my help, and I gladly agreed.

Sharing with friends on your own initiative doubles the joy. I make my own sticky rice wine and give a bottle to a friend in the same neighborhood every time. She says she likes it, and it's very sweet.

We often exchange food. I still haven't eaten the sausage from the Nicholas Tse commercial that you gave me last time.

I get help and happiness. When I need companionship and help, my friends are there. They celebrate my birthday with me and help me prepare materials for a title review.

I get a kick out of helping people. Sharing good food or the ups and downs of life with friends makes me feel like life is more full and meaningful.

4) Tell me what new insights and inspirations about friendship you gained through this year's experience.

(1) Think, see, and make suggestions from the perspective of a friend. This is especially obvious in my roommate.

She was always able to give me advice on the details of things I casually discussed with her, which prevented me from making major mistakes.

Treat friends with your heart, not just material things. When I left school, my good friend S prepared a heartfelt meal in the dormitory.

Although it wasn't a big meal, I could feel her sincerity and thoughtfulness. I knew then why she was so popular with us: I felt valued and loved, and we ate and chatted together in the dormitory.

I am grateful that at this age, I still have friends who care about me and teach me how to manage friendships. I am also grateful for the opportunity. 2. Teacher-student relationship:

I communicated with this teacher a lot in the first half of the year, and it had a significant impact on my mentality and strategy. She exemplified what it means to have a "strong self" and "grasp the key points."

This was a crucial lesson for me, given my "weak heart" and "detail-oriented" personality. While we didn't communicate as much in the second half of the year, I still think about what she said from time to time.

2) What new understanding and insights have you gained this year in terms of communicating with teachers/elders? I have gained a new perspective on my relationship with this teacher.

This year, I've made some changes and I'm now better at seeing things from her perspective and understanding her better. My takeaway is simple: don't make off-base comments, just do your own job well.

3. Other important relationships: My relationship with my boss has changed significantly. Previously, I felt like he was a parent who was constantly asking for my homework, and I was reluctant to answer his calls or take the initiative to contact him.

This year, I have a greater sense of collaboration. I know he's doing what he should do, and at the same time helping me. We're working hard together for the unit. When I discovered this, my heart suddenly became much brighter.

I will tell him what I can do for him, how I'm getting on, and what kind of help I need. This way, we can have a real "we" relationship, not just a "me and him" one.

4. Next year's plan: Meet up with your friends in real life as much as you can. It'll help you bond and strengthen your friendship.

Do something meaningful together, such as weekend outings, book clubs, etc. For friends online, communicate more, see each other more, and respond more.

In the coming year, you should make time for more voice chat activities. Share the joys and sorrows of life with each other and grow together. Don't just improve your own abilities and help your friends when they need it. Seek help from your friends when appropriate. It's a reflection of their sense of value.

1. Friendships:

1) This year, due to my child's school transfer and the related pick-up and drop-off issues, I have had more contact with a few parents. Both of their families have vehicles, and one is responsible for the drop-off and the other for the pick-up, which incidentally includes my child.

Their children are enrolled in after-school care, so I transport the eldest to and from school each day, accompanied by the infant on my back. Now that I am at home on a full-time basis, I maintain contact with my former associates primarily through online channels, so there has been minimal change in this regard.

Despite the lack of recent communication, the two parties remain on amicable terms.

2) This year, there have been no ruptures in my friendships. We were both preoccupied with our respective obligations and resided at considerable distances from one another, resulting in minimal contact and no disputes.

3) In a friendship, one gives by listening and being there for the other person, sharing one's experiences when guidance is needed, and offering direction when appropriate. As a result, a deeper friendship is formed, and the other person is there for the giver when needed.

4) The experience of the past year has taught me that friendship requires nurturing and that mutual support and recognition are essential.

2. Teacher-student relationship:

(1) On each Chinese New Year and other holidays, I extend greetings to the two teachers who were my junior high school instructors and provided me with substantial assistance. However, beyond these greetings and brief exchanges, there has been no further communication.

Furthermore, the two teachers reside in distant locations, and I have not returned to my hometown for several years. Consequently, I have not had the opportunity to visit them. This year, the teacher who taught me NLP has had the most significant influence on me. I follow his WeChat account daily. Given that I am unable to attend in-person classes, I will pursue online courses if possible.

2) With regard to the acquisition of knowledge from educators, I have been consistently exposed to the latest ideas and innovations, which have enhanced my comprehension and facilitated the development of novel perspectives.

3. Other significant relationships:

Given that I am not currently employed and reside at home full-time, I do not have any colleagues or superiors. Instead, I have been in communication with a former colleague, with whom I have developed a close friendship. During the period when I was pregnant, we frequently engaged in walks and conversation.

Now that I have departed from the company and the city, we maintain regular communication. Our interactions encompass a range of topics, including casual conversation, expression of discontent, and discussion of various matters.

4. Plans for the Coming Year

In the forthcoming year, I will persist in providing assistance to my parents and friends, reciprocating the support they have extended to me. I will maintain communication with my former acquaintances, offering them a listening ear and companionship.

Good day!

At this time,

I am currently working on the seventh chapter of my own "Memoirs of the Time 2022."

— Friends and significant others

Friendship:

I am happy to report that there have been no particular changes in my friendships this year.

I am hopeful that the good relationships I have will continue to grow and improve.

I am fortunate to have some good relationships.

While we don't typically stay in touch as much as we'd like,

I will always remember them fondly.

I'm of the opinion that

I believe the other person is also

Some relationships are more general and don't involve as much contact.

It would seem that they are drifting apart.

I try to go with the flow.

I try not to force the issue.

I am happy to say that this year, there have been no difficulties in my friendships.

I believe that our hearts are what keep our friendships strong.

I would like to respectfully offer a different perspective.

Some have said that I am attentive.

It is not something that is done with any intention.

Everything seems to flow so naturally.

This may be an example of true friendship.

In a friendship,

I have endeavored to give my heart, sincerity, trust, respect, and tolerance.

I am also fortunate to receive these things in return.

I believe that giving is the best way to receive.

I believe this is an eternal truth.

The relationship between a teacher and a student is a complex one.

I have had the opportunity to participate in a greater number of activities on the Yixinli platform this year.

We have had the privilege of learning from many wonderful teachers.

Despite the fact that we have never had the opportunity to meet in person,

Nevertheless,

In our daily interactions,

We have also benefited greatly.

We were fortunate to be able to encourage each other.

It is important to build trust with each other.

We have been fortunate to have the opportunity to grow together.

I am truly grateful for all that I have received.

It is also important to consider the input of others.

I believe it should be myself.

I am gradually learning more about myself.

I will try to be true to myself.

I am learning to accept myself, warts and all.

I am happy to report that everything is moving in a good direction.

I would like to suggest that next year, we consider the following plan:

With regard to these friendships and relationships with important others,

I hope to be

I will strive to be more determined.

To be true to myself.

It is important to love yourself.

In the case of friends,

I believe that one or two life confidants are enough.

If I might make one more point,

If I might make one more point, I would like to say…

I believe that any kind of relationship

If I might make one more suggestion, it would be to consider the needs of others.

Perhaps it would be best to proceed with a certain degree of care and caution.

It would be best to treat with sincerity.

I believe that friendship is...

I wonder if I might suggest that the relationship between teacher and student is an important one.

If I might make one more point,

I believe it is most important to be true to yourself and not deceive yourself or others.

Ultimately, it is important to be able to face oneself.

It would be beneficial to learn how to get along with oneself.

I believe this is a lesson we can all learn throughout our lives.

It is a lesson that we all learn throughout our lives.

I would describe myself as a person who is free and unrestrained, and who loves freedom.

If I may make a suggestion, I think we can achieve more if we work hard together.

Chapter 7 of "Memoirs of 2022"

Friends and significant others

1. Friendships:

(1) My friendships haven't changed at all this year.

In August, I took part in an offline learning event and got to know two classmates from the same period quite well. We had in-depth conversations about work, exams, and current troubles a couple of times.

I also have a friend who is the same gender as me and has been a WeChat friend for more than two years. We never talked before, but this year, when I saw his pain in his WeChat moments because he had just broken up with his girlfriend, we became friends. Whenever he is in a bad mood, he will vent to me on WeChat, and I will patiently listen and care for him.

(2) My friendships remained strong this year. I have a small circle of friends, and we don't often have the chance to meet in person, so there wasn't any room for things to change.

(3) In terms of friendship, I'd say that the contribution I made this year was to take the initiative to care about friends and their families that I knew were sick in my circle of friends. When I had time, I spent more time chatting with them and told them about the effective remedies I knew, which they tried.

I've gained my friends' trust and gratitude. Our relationship has evolved from polite chats to a more natural, relaxed conversation at any time.

(4) I gained some new insights and inspirations about friendship through this year's experience. It doesn't matter how close friends are, when they learn that something unfortunate has happened to each other, even if the other person is telling us how painful it is, we as bystanders also feel the pain. We also can't blame or criticize each other.

And don't give the other person all kinds of advice from the perspective of "for your own good."

As friends, it doesn't matter if we don't know much about psychology. As long as we stop thinking "for your own good," listen to what the other person is saying, accept their feelings, and then give them a helping hand, that's enough.

2. Teacher-student relationship:

(1) The elders who have communicated more with me this year and had a greater impact on me are my father-in-law and mother-in-law, both in their 90s. Over the past year, we've gone from being strangers to becoming acquaintances.

(2) I've learned a lot this year from talking with my elders.

Don't think about having children to provide for your old age. Instead, teach your children to be grateful and to understand how hard it is to be a parent from an early age.

When you get older and your kids have started their own families, enjoy life and don't dwell on things you can't change. That's the way to a long and healthy life.

3. Other important relationships:

I don't tend to get close to my leaders and colleagues. We usually only talk about work-related matters.

4. Plans for the coming year:

I don't have any plans or arrangements for these friends for the coming year.

As long as we keep in touch, we'll stay in touch next year. It's hard to say how often we'll contact each other or how deep the relationship will be. After all, human relationships aren't something you can control.

It's like two friends I met 10 years ago. Our relationship was like an xy parabola, slowly rising from the starting point 0 on the x axis to the highest point on the y axis, then slowly falling back to the starting point 0 on the y axis. The parabola fell from the x axis 0 to the 6 position, and then disappeared. It's not that I've forgotten about them, but they're too busy with their lives to pay any attention to me.

My advice is to go with the flow and make the most of the people you're with!

"Memoirs of 2022," Chapter 7

1. Friendship

(1) This year, I opened a milk tea shop with friends, and our relationship has evolved from that of friends to that of partners. I have also encountered numerous individuals, and we largely maintain a normal distance from each other, neither particularly close nor distant.

2) While there is no outward conflict with friends, there are judgments and decisions in the heart. From never understanding and being unwilling to accept, to treating it calmly, it seems fine on the surface, and some people even continue to maintain the relationship.

It can be argued that this is how relationships between people are structured: they are characterised by periods of separation and reunification. It is notable that this dynamic is particularly prevalent in the context of friendships.

3) I am, in fact, someone who is willing to provide assistance to others, and in the process of offering help, I experience satisfaction in knowing that I am needed and recognized. I utilize this approach to maintain a positive impression of others, and therefore, I am not overly concerned with the potential gains or losses.

4) For a friendship to remain strong, one party must take the initiative, communicate actively, and contribute actively. If there is a prolonged period of inactivity, regardless of the strength of the relationship in the past, it will inevitably weaken.

Conversely, the more frequent the contact, the stronger the feelings and the greater the dependence.

The teacher-student relationship is a complex and multifaceted phenomenon.

I consider myself fortunate to have numerous mentors from whom I have gained considerable insight. My mentor at Jiangnan, in particular, has taught me the value of empowering others and fostering their strength.

With mentor Chen, I came to understand the role of precision and rigor in speaking. With mentor Ou, I learned that speaking is not merely an act of expressing one's thoughts, and that the mere fact of being right does not guarantee that others will listen. Instead, the effectiveness of communication depends on the speaker's ability to project a certain aura and transmit energy.

The same words spoken by different people can have markedly disparate outcomes, a concept that resonated with me profoundly. Throughout the year, I maintained a productive and collaborative relationship with each of my mentors, which also facilitated the teachers' desired outcomes.

2) It is recommended that students communicate with their teachers, listen more, ask more questions, and actively communicate with them. This approach may yield unexpected gains.

3. In the forthcoming year, I will persist in communicating with my mentors, participating in courses, and engaging in exchanges whenever feasible. This will facilitate my acquisition of greater knowledge.

1. Friendships:

1) Could you please share any changes you've noticed in your friendships this year? (e.g. making new friends, drifting apart from certain friends, etc.)

There have been some changes in my friendships this year. Some relationships have naturally evolved in different directions after the pandemic, while the bond with family and loved ones has grown stronger. There is an old friend from many years ago who has gradually become less involved in my life.

She has been a great source of support for me when I needed it most. I can always count on her to listen, even though she might not always express herself as well as she could.

At that time, I was grateful for her company and for the opportunity to have a listening ear.

As I grow stronger, I find myself gradually losing confidence in this relationship. I'm starting to realize that perhaps I no longer want to be just a listener. This kind of one-dimensional relationship is starting to feel a bit limiting.

I believe it is preferable to have a few close friends rather than a large group of casual acquaintances.

2) Have there been any challenges in your friendships this year? How have you addressed them?

I'm grateful to say that I haven't felt any cracks in friendships this year. I believe this is probably because I'm a laid-back person. For friends who are worth keeping, I will do my best to find ways to create opportunities to connect with them deeply, and I will do my utmost to ensure that our friendships remain strong.

3) Could you please share what you have given and received in friendships?

In friendship, I am happy to give my heart, to care, and to be enthusiastic, and I am grateful to receive the warm rewards that come with this!

4) Could you kindly share any new insights or inspirations you have gained about friendship through this year's experience?

It is important to remember that any relationship, including friendship, requires nurturing and attention. Treating each other with sincerity and respect is a great place to start.

It is also important to have similar interests and a mutual understanding in a friendship. When there is a lack of common ground, it can be challenging to maintain a relationship. Having a shared interest or understanding can help to strengthen the bond between two people.

2. Teacher-student relationship:

1) Could I ask which teacher or elder has communicated with you more this year, had the greatest influence on you, or given you the most help? Perhaps it might be helpful to review your relationship with them this year.

I would like to express my gratitude to Director Liu, who has been a great source of support and guidance this year. She is a warm, elegant, open-minded, life-loving, and beautiful woman. She retired in September, and during our time working together, she imparted invaluable lessons on personal style, accessorizing, and pearl appreciation. She believed that pearls symbolize the essence of a woman.

A woman should be as round, as radiant, as gentle, and as luminous as a pearl. How might one become a good woman? How might one become a beautiful woman?

I am grateful to have learned so much from her.

2) Could you kindly share any new insights or understanding you have gained this year in terms of communicating with teachers or elders?

I have come to understand that happy women are those who are able to give, know how to love themselves, are self-motivated, and are independent but can rely on others when appropriate.

3. Other important relationships:

If there are other relationship partners (such as colleagues or superiors) who are also very important to you, you may find it helpful to refer to the above points and conduct a review as well.

I find that I get along well with my younger colleagues, and I appreciate the fresh perspective that young people bring to the table. I try to live a simple lifestyle, and I believe that seizing the day is a valuable approach.

4. Plans for the Coming Year:

If you have any plans for the coming year regarding the relationship between these friends and significant others, I would love to hear them.

If you haven't yet had the chance to make any concrete plans, I hope you'll have the opportunity to meet some interesting people!

1. Friendship

1) What changes have occurred in the nature of your friendships over the course of this year?

There have been no significant changes in my social circle. At the beginning of the year, there were new colleagues in the office, and we established amicable relationships.

2) Have there been any ruptures in your friendships this year? How have you attempted to repair them?

We have been friends for many years, and thus are intimately acquainted with each other's personalities. Consequently, minor misunderstandings are quickly resolved.

3) What have you contributed and received in the context of friendship?

If one is willing to invest emotionally, one will often receive a similar level of investment in return.

4) What new insights and inspirations about friendship have been gained from this year's experience?

I am not naturally sociable, and thus the friends I am able to form are those with whom I am able to maintain a long-term relationship. My personal experience has taught me that the first step is to be sincere and establish a connection, the second is to communicate regularly, and the third is to set clear boundaries.

2. Teacher-Student Relationship:

1) Which teacher or elder has communicated with you more frequently this year and had the greatest impact on you/provided you with the most assistance? Please review your relationship with this individual over the course of the year.

This year, I have engaged in more communication with the individual who has had the greatest influence on me and also provided me with the most assistance. This person is also an elder, my previous supervisor, and now my close associate – Teacher W. At the beginning of the year, I sought counsel on professional matters, and the other person provided highly pertinent advice. In the middle of the year, there was a change in my family situation, and Teacher W. contacted me as soon as he heard about it and provided me with substantial assistance, both mentally and materially. At the end of the year, I also sought counsel on some personal matters, and the other person also provided me with opinions for my consideration.

I have gained considerable benefit from this relationship, in which I am both a student and a friend.

(2) What new understanding and insights have been gained this year in terms of communicating with teachers and elders?

In the past, my thought processes were simplistic, which resulted in my inability to grasp the core of the issue at hand. Additionally, I tended to avoid engaging in critical thinking. However, this year, through communication with educators and close associates, as well as through my deliberate efforts to rectify my shortcomings, I have made significant strides in my intellectual development.

Three: Other significant relationships

I terminated a relationship, and I am uncertain as to its significance. Nevertheless, this event provided considerable inspiration and facilitated a profound understanding of numerous truths. Ultimately, knowledge acquired from books is superficial, whereas genuine knowledge is attained through practical experience.

Fourthly, I will set out my plans for the forthcoming year.

I will continue to cultivate my relationships, value my friendships, and aspire for the bond of friendship to remain resilient and enduring.