Mom always imposes her thoughts on me; is it okay to talk about her and lose my temper?

Dear questioner, My name is Du Xi.

After reading your story, I can sense your fatigue. It seems you have a range of emotions towards your mother, and finding the right words to express them can be challenging. I can see that your mother has had a significant impact on you, and it might feel difficult to move beyond this situation.

Let's talk about your mother. From what you've said, I can understand that your mother is

It seems that she may be experiencing some insecurities. I wonder if her parents may not have provided her with sufficient love and attention when she was young, which may have led her to become dependent on herself for everything. It's possible that she may not trust other people, and that she is always on guard against them, which could result in her living in doubt.

It seems that she enjoys exerting control over others because it gives her a sense of security.

It seems that her lover and daughter are people she feels she can control, which may explain why she is more controlling and demanding with you.

After analyzing this, it seems that she is actually a first-time mother, and that she didn't learn many things from her own mother either. It may be challenging for her to give you what she doesn't have, and to teach you what she hasn't learned.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider whether you could forgive her, and whether you could try to help her first.

In the future, there are many ways to approach any given situation. What matters is your willingness to act, or not act, in a certain way.

You have the option of either listening or not listening, of either doing something or not doing something. Regardless of your choice, you will be the one to bear the consequences.

Your mother has undoubtedly played a role in shaping your character and your way of thinking. Could you perhaps try to influence her in return? Perhaps you could use her preferred approach.

You are fortunate to have a platform and someone to communicate with. Your mother did not have this when she was your age, so it is possible that you can do better in the future and help your family live a better life.

If you know what you want, it might be helpful to pursue it. If that doesn't work, it could be beneficial to try another way. It's important to remember that there's still a chance you can find a way through. You've got this!

Hello, host!

I can totally see what kind of environment you grew up in. It's no wonder you're tired and feel socially anxious. It's only natural to be critical of yourself, especially when you're so deeply entangled with your mom. It's a tough spot to be in, but you're doing your best.

And give you a big, warm hug?

The original poster didn't mention a very specific question after the description, and it seems like they're asking, "I just want to talk to my mother, but why is she losing her temper?"

I'm not sure if my answer will help you improve your situation, but I'll try! It seems like she's not happy with her life, so she's feeling insecure. It's hard for her to trust that others have good intentions, and she's always afraid of the world. She's also anxious about her life. So, she's trying to reduce her anxiety and fight her fears by controlling everything she can and can't control (she doesn't even know which is which).

And this control is outward-oriented. She's doing just fine herself, bless her heart. She has no problems at all. It's just that she's sad because she thinks there aren't any good people in the world. In fact, I'm surprised that Mum can consider Dad to be the only good man among men. So she thinks people can't be trusted, but she knows money is reliable.

That's why it's so important to save money for a rainy day. Money is the only thing that can save her if she ever gets into trouble. Unfortunately, there are some bad people out there who will want her money too. Even Dad and you can't be trusted, so it's really important to hide the money well. If the amount of money doesn't add up, it's probably because you've been stealing from it.

If control only went so far, perhaps you wouldn't be as tired as you are now. But her control goes much further and deeper than that. She just can't accept or tolerate any difference between your feelings and thoughts and those of Dad. It's because for her it would mean losing control of her world, which is really scary for her. So she needs to suppress and control you with her anger. How can you think like that? How can you feel like that?

You should feel... You should think that way...

But here's the thing: we're all different, and that's a good thing! We all have our own unique sensory system and way of thinking. No two people see, feel, think, or want the same thing or situation. When you're controlled by your mother in terms of your feelings, thoughts, and actions, it can feel like you're betraying yourself to meet her needs. This can be a serious drain on your mental energy. She's nourishing herself by controlling you, and she therefore feels good and safe (compared to allowing you to be free to be yourself).

It's so sad when you're in a relationship like this. You end up using all your time, energy, feelings, thoughts, desires, and willpower to try to make her happy. You feel like your whole purpose in life is to help her live the life she wants. But in the process, you lose yourself. Everything you have is invested in her needs, and there's nothing left for you. It's like you're a tree with a vine wrapped around it, feeding off your body and mind. It's not a healthy relationship.

I'm just wondering, do you think there's any reason you can't be socially anxious, not be stingy, and not be tired?

You're in your 20s now, which is such a great age! I don't know if you're studying or working, but it would be really wonderful for you to be financially independent and live your own life.

If you can, leaving home as soon as you can to live independently might help you feel a little more relaxed. But the symbiotic relationship between mother and child also shapes the way you interact with others. If you want to stop feeling tired after leaving her, you need to do a lot of self-exploration, and this process can also be very, very tiring.

I'm really sorry to say that you've been shaped into someone who will be tired for the rest of your life, either from being drained by others or from self-exploration. But I promise you that the latter is a path towards self-growth and freedom from others' influence, full of hardship but also hope.

Psychology can give you so much strength in terms of self-exploration and self-growth. I really hope you'll find the path of self-exploration soon.

I love you, world! And I love you too!

Hello question asker! I'm Enoch, your answerer.

The questioner has social phobias and money problems due to her mother. When she talks to her mother, her mother gets angry.

My mother has some schizoid personality tendencies and narcissism. Many people have different types of personality tendencies, but that doesn't mean they have psychological problems. My mother is still quite capable socially, despite her condition.

Mothers often become suspicious and doubt others. They are suspicious and cautious of those around them. Sometimes they doubt their fathers. They complain to their children. They save money for their old age.

This makes it hard to connect with others emotionally.

The questioner has been influenced by this since childhood. She is aware of the negative impact it has had on her, such as affecting her social life and making her fear marriage. When the questioner tries to communicate with her mother, her mother loses her temper with the questioner.

The questioner realizes this problem can be solved by seeking help and making changes.

Narcissists use rationalization to maintain their psychological balance. They embellish themselves and denigrate others. The questioner can try to reverse this by seeing the good in others, accepting them, and being humble. This will help them form their own dynamic psychological balance.

I hope the questioner can try new things, become a better person, and find their place in the world.