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My child is in his/her senior year of high school. How can I get him/her to consciously put down the mobile phone?

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My child is in his/her senior year of high school. How can I get him/her to consciously put down the mobile phone? By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024

My son is in his third year of high school, and a month ago he bought a mobile phone without telling us, and assured me that it was a classmate's. I only found out twice later that he was playing with his phone, and then he admitted that he bought it, but he refused to give it to us.

Arguing and reasoning with him was useless. He was even more aggrieved, saying that we didn't believe him, didn't understand him, and that he knew how to control himself despite the pressure of studying. Our son got into the best local high school with the top score in his junior high class, but his grades have been declining since then.

Later, his father and I made a compromise and agreed that he could play for half an hour every day. We would take his phone away before he went to bed at midnight to prevent him from playing at night when he couldn't control himself. However, after just over a week, he changed his mind again. The day before yesterday, he wanted to play at more than 1am, saying that he hadn't played because he was doing his homework. He asked for his phone, but we refused to give it to him. The next day, we took his phone away again.

Casey Casey A total of 8851 people have been helped

Dear Parent, I appreciate your concerns and recognize the challenges you are facing. It is commendable that you are seeking guidance on a psychological platform to assist your child.

First, provide a detailed description and analysis of the child's current situation and the issues he is facing.

This is a critical period for my son's future studies, as he is currently in his senior year of high school.

Behavior: One month prior, the subject procured a cellular telephone without disclosing this action to his parents. He asserted that the device belonged to a classmate, citing this as a rationale for not informing his parents. The subject only acknowledged this action after it was discovered, yet he remained reluctant to relinquish the telephone.

Emotional expression: Attempts at reasoning and argument with the subject are futile. Additionally, the subject displays feelings of resentment, asserting that the parents do not believe him, do not understand him, are unaware of the pressures he faces at school, and that he is capable of controlling his emotions.

My son was accepted into the most competitive local high school with the highest score in his junior high school class. However, his academic performance has declined since he began high school.

The final solution involved a compromise: the child was permitted to play for half an hour daily and to place the device on the table at 12 a.m. each night. The device was removed to prevent uncontrollable nighttime use. However, after just one week, the child changed his mind and desired to play at 1 a.m. The following day, the phone was confiscated.

First and foremost, it is crucial to recognize that your son is navigating a pivotal period as he transitions to high school. The pressure and anxiety he is experiencing are tangible emotions. As a parent, it is vital to comprehend these feelings, provide assistance, and implement strategies to alleviate his stress.

It is also not uncommon for parents to experience feelings of concern and unease during this pivotal period, particularly in response to their child's behavior and performance. It is, therefore, essential to provide suitable support and guidance in the event of uncontrolled conduct.

Secondly, an investigation into the root cause of your son's anxiety may prove beneficial.

The entire junior high school class achieved the highest academic standards, with exemplary grades. However, his performance declined during his high school years, leading to concerns about his ability to pass the college entrance examination. This may have contributed to his stress levels.

2. Parents' excessive expectations may also contribute to feelings of stress and worry about disappointing them. It is therefore important for parents to set reasonable expectations and encourage relaxation.

3. Parents exhibit excessive anxiety, which is transmitted to the child in an imperceptible manner, resulting in feelings of oppression. For instance, there is undoubtedly a degree of pressure and anxiety associated with the mobile phone issue.

It is important to recognize that your son's actions are not intentionally deceitful. His reluctance to divulge information is driven by a complex emotional state, which includes a sense of apprehension and concern. He is likely afraid that your knowledge will lead to disappointment and cause you to worry excessively.

It is also important to recognize that it is normal for adolescents to react with anger and resentment when adults attempt to reason with them. The adolescent in question is 16 years old, and it is likely that he possesses the capacity to think and judge independently. What he lacks is not a lack of general principles, but rather an understanding of effective methods for recognizing and relieving stress. It is possible that he genuinely believes that the phone can temporarily relieve his stress and anxiety, or that he has experienced that it can temporarily relieve his stress.

It is therefore inadvisable to attempt to reason with the child or to lecture him, as this will be ineffective. The child will perceive this approach as a lack of understanding and listening, which will only serve to alienate him further. It is more productive to help the child understand that the phone can only temporarily relieve pressure and may lead to addiction, as well as other negative effects such as a decline in concentration.

It is therefore important to understand the child, provide comfort, and believe in him. Additionally, it is beneficial to encourage the child that his current state may be a state that many children experience. The child should be accompanied in facing pressure, and effective ways to relieve stress should be explored, such as taking a walk or running with him to increase energy through exercise.

Once a more effective and healthier alternative has been identified, the withdrawal of the phone will no longer be an issue. It is therefore important to consider the underlying problem and develop a systematic solution.

It is my hope that my contributions have been both inspiring and helpful. I am optimistic that with the assistance of this community, my son will be able to overcome the difficulties he is currently facing.

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Comments

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Rodney Anderson The shelter of honesty protects from the storm of deceit.

We understand that you're feeling upset and frustrated, but we have to set boundaries for your own good. Your education and health are our top priorities. We see the value in having some leisure time, which is why we agreed on a halfhour daily. However, using the phone past midnight is not acceptable as it can affect your sleep and studies.

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Cora Miller Honesty is a treasure that cannot be bought.

It's challenging to see things from our perspective, I know. But we've noticed your grades slipping and we're worried about how this might impact your future opportunities. We're trying to find a balance where you can enjoy your interests while also maintaining focus on your academics. Let's try to stick to the agreement and discuss any changes calmly.

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Madison Thomas Growth is learning to love yourself enough to know you deserve better.

I appreciate that you want more freedom and trust. We do trust you, but it's important to earn that trust by following agreements we make together. If you show us that you can manage your time wisely and keep up with your studies, we'll be more inclined to give you more leeway with your phone. Let's work together on this.

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