My cousin came over to visit, and there's nothing to talk about with her, which is really painful. What should I do?

Dear questioner,

You want to get along with your cousin, but you're not sure how.

It's simple. You're just a little worried because you're not familiar with the process. When your cousin comes to your house, she's a guest. We just need to offer her a glass of water and cut up some fruit.

Your parents should teach you how to interact with your cousin. You can also learn from them how to interact with other people.

Give your cousin's child some toys or snacks. You can explain to your parents and cousin that you have a lot of homework to do. They will understand. When you were young, your cousin was also like this.

You worry more about your parents' accusations because you don't see your cousin often, but your parents live with you. They usually discipline you quite strictly.

They should criticize and deny you. Living with such parents, you should feel sad, thinking that you are wrong in everything you do.

If you want to know how you look today or if you have something on your face, look in the mirror. If you want to know if you're good or if you did the right thing, ask someone else. Your mum and dad are a good source of information.

If you do something and they praise you, you'll see yourself as good. If you do something and they blame you or criticize you, you'll see yourself as bad. We can think about things differently.

If mom and dad say something is bad, is it really bad? Could it be that they have too high of expectations?

Maybe my parents just want me to do better. When you think positively and proactively, you can see a better future.

I hope this helps. Have a happy life.

Hello, sweetheart. I can see how embarrassed, panicked, and helpless you feel when meeting strangers. Your little face is red with anger. Come give me a hug. But really, it's okay.

I'm not sure about your age, sweetheart. Are you in your 20s or 30s?

It's so great that you're finally speaking up about your concerns! It's totally normal to feel worried about not knowing how to interact with people and treat them. It can even make you feel confused and painful. But you've taken the brave step of sharing your feelings and actively seeking answers and different life experiences from strangers.

It could be because you're an introvert, or maybe it's because of how you were raised, or it might be because you're still young. It's totally normal to feel a bit awkward around strangers. You're not the only one who feels this way, so don't worry too much. It's just a common social thing. As long as you don't know someone, no matter if they're your seven aunts or eight uncles, they might make it a bit uncomfortable for you to socialize. Being at ease around people is the exception.

My dear child, if you've realized that interacting with strangers is your own weakness, then you can try to make contact with strangers at the right time. The world is big, and when we enter society, we will come into contact with almost all strangers. The world is also very small, and there are only a few familiar people we care about.

My dear child, always follow your heart and trust your feelings. Don't pay any mind to what others say or do. They can't control your anger, and it has nothing to do with you. As the old saying goes, "follow your own path and let others talk!"

Wishing you all the best and lots of luck!

Hello, question asker! I'm Ziding Yaxiang, and I'm so happy we've met! I'm here to help you solve your problems, and I'm excited to get started!

After reading your question, I just want to give you a big hug from afar!

It's totally understandable to feel reluctant to talk to your cousin if you're not very familiar with them and don't have much contact. It's natural to be a bit hesitant to socialize with them.

It's possible that something happened when you were a child that has left a lasting impression. I'm curious if the questioner has had any treatment or communication with other children in the relative's family that they are not familiar with?

I'd love to know how you get on with strangers. Is it the same situation?

I'd also love to know how to get along with my cousin's children. It's so hard when kids are naughty! It can have a negative effect on you and your family. I can imagine it's difficult to feel comfortable in these situations.

I totally get it! I had the same experience when I was a kid. I was afraid of meeting new people, afraid of speaking to strangers, and afraid of relatives' lecturing me on etiquette. This social phobia continued until I went to university, and it didn't improve until then.

To sum up, it would be really helpful for the questioner to think about how their social skills have changed.

1. Try to face your own problems and pay more attention to social news. This way, you'll have lots of great topics to discuss during social chats and you'll be less likely to get into awkward conversations.

2. Try to make contact with strangers. We've all had bad experiences, but we also have to remember that we live in a society and we have to interact with other people. All kinds of relationships require emotional intelligence and wisdom, and they're all worth maintaining!

3. It's time to break out of your comfort zone and start enjoying more social activities!

I hope you're doing well!

Hello!

Your cousin came to visit, and you hid because you didn't know how to get along with them. I understand how you feel.

You and your cousin are about 10 years apart, so there aren't many topics to talk about. That's why she ignored you at the family reunion.

You want to get close to your cousin, but you can't because she's indifferent to you and you couldn't when you were young.

Your cousin is in touch with your family more often. You feel resistance and don't want to have too much contact with her.

Your cousin may not know how to get along with you or treat you like a big kid. Just maintain your etiquette. Greet her when you see her, help entertain your guests, and then get on with your own business.

Your parents wouldn't have asked you to chat with them either. They'd probably be quiet after a while.

You're hiding in your room, and your cousin may be relieved. She may also feel uncomfortable if you have to receive her.

Relax.

You'll get to know each other better over time.

Best,

The questioner, the present is good! Be grateful to have met you.

You seem helpless. Hugs!

We accept you and are here for you.

You and your cousin didn't have much contact before your marriage, and there's a big age difference between you. Now that she's married with kids, there will be fewer things for you to talk about. It's normal that you can't get along. How do your parents evaluate your behavior? They're just saying things to save face.

Your parents may not understand you. You are not what they say you are. Let them talk. You can't control what other people say.

It's normal to have no experience taking care of a child. You can give the child a toy or buy snacks.

What are you afraid of? Maybe it's something you imagined or something you've experienced before.

The experience you had then was as a young, powerless person. You are now older and more capable. Allow yourself to be afraid and say it out loud: "Facing you, I don't know how to chat and what to say. It makes me feel embarrassed and scared..." Say it out loud, and your feelings will be different.

If you look at this from the future, you'll see it's just a small event that won't make you feel worse. But you need to understand this painful emotion and what it's trying to tell you.

Is it to be understood and recognized, or something else? Understanding the reason behind the emotion helps you move on.

Best wishes!

The child gives you a hug. I can feel your helplessness, frustration, and even a bit of a breakdown, but you're going to be just fine!

It's okay to feel a little uncomfortable when you have to face things you don't want to face. It's not easy for most people, and you are no exception. So don't feel burdened. This has nothing to do with being bad.

At most, you are a bit introverted and not very good at taking care of people. But that's okay! This is not a big deal of principle, so don't worry.

And the great news is that this can also be changed. If you want to change it, you can!

Children are incredible individuals. Some are outgoing and cheerful, while others are introverted. It's these differences that make the world a beautiful place!

I've got some great suggestions for you to consider!

1. Accept yourself! I've been telling you this since the beginning: accept yourself, no matter what state you're in or what kind of personality you have. You don't have to do things you don't like!

Unless it's a matter of life and death, of course!

2. When your cousin and her family come to visit, you can just be a good host. You said that she has become more involved with your family since her marriage, and it's great to see her so engaged! While it might not be because she wants to get closer to you, it's probably because she wants to get closer to your parents. If you don't like it, just be polite, you don't have to be overly hospitable.

3. Many people don't know how to get along with unfamiliar people, and many people don't know how to talk to children. But there's no need to worry! If it's unavoidable, you don't have to get along with them or talk to them. If you have to take care of guests, such as your cousin's children, you can play games with them and take them to read books.

Take them to the movies! It's something you can do on your own. If you have a common topic after watching the movie, you can also talk about it!

4. You can seek help from a counselor and seek professional help to guide you in making changes if you want to change. And this change is also for you to be able to better handle interpersonal relationships in society in the future—it'll be a great adventure!

It's okay if you can't get along with strangers. You never know what the future holds! Sometimes time can change a person.

Hello!

I can feel your anxiety and helplessness, and I'm here to help!

"Saying I can't take care of people." What you see is that there are no common topics of conversation. But that doesn't mean you can't take care of people!

And don't worry about the lack of common topics! It's not a bad thing.

I'm so excited to share this status update with you all! I'd love to hear your thoughts:

[Maybe you have been told that you have a glass heart, but no one can see that it is pure and unadulterated; maybe you have been told that you are always half-empty, but no one can see that you are gathering drops of water to fill your own cup; maybe you have been told that you are lonely, but no one can see that you love nature and have infinite vitality. ] - by Sister Qin Qing (3cats)

It seems that in the OP's life, there is also a constant occurrence of [maybe you were told (negative words), but not seen (positive words)] — but that can change!

There's so much room for improvement in the words of family members!

Hearing these words, the host must have been very sad. And it seems that since childhood, she has been facing a repressive environment. But there's hope! With the right support, she can overcome these challenges and thrive.

Oh, is the child the cousin's child? That's so interesting! Whose child is it, and who is responsible for parent-child communication?

When the host feels uneasy and embarrassed when communicating with their children, choose the way that they feel comfortable!

Embrace yourself, exactly as you are, in that moment. There's absolutely no need to try to fit in with a set of requirements.

You mentioned "hiding." When you hide, can it be understood as being alone? Absolutely not!

If you have the ability and financial means to take care of yourself, then go for it! Give yourself some time alone.

Let your heart feel the incredible sense of happiness and gain!

In this way, you can discover that you are actually very beautiful! Instead of using a series of family members to measure yourself as good or bad,

Judgments of good and bad are far too extreme!

It can make you feel on edge, but it's also a great opportunity to learn and grow!

It shows your vulnerable and sensitive side, and it also shows your willingness to communicate feelings and clarify uncomfortable situations in concrete terms, which is great!

This is the best company you could ask for!

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