My family refuses to change their habit of chewing with their mouth open. What should I do? (I am 15/17 years old.)

Hello. You asked me what to do. Your family won't change their habit of chewing with their mouths open.

You feel uncomfortable with the sound of your family members chewing food.

You tried to get your mother to stop making noise when she chewed, but she said it was impossible to change once you're old.

You tell your younger brother, who is nine years younger than you, that you can eat with your mouth closed, and you show him how. You think it might be easier to change when you're young, but after a while, he'll be just like before. After a few times, since your advice to your mother was not effective, you gave up trying to persuade your brother.

When you were young, you learned to chew with your mouth closed. Later, you found it difficult to listen to the sound of chewing with your mouth open.

This change may have been forced or unwilling. Later, you changed because of obedience, awe, or fear of important people. You developed an aversion to hearing the sound of chewing food.

Your first change may have been traumatic. This trauma has affected your life ever since. You tried to stop people from making this sound when they chewed. But they didn't stop.

People around you accept the sound of you chewing.

If you agree with my analysis, we can talk about what to do next.

Good day, question-asker.

I have carefully read your description of the problem and can empathize with the pain you are experiencing at this moment, despite having done your best and yet being unable to achieve the desired result.

From your account, I can discern your sensitivity and your capacity for self-reflection, which enables you to identify and rectify mistakes. I am curious as to the age at which the individual who influenced you to modify your habit of eating with your mouth open made their suggestion. However, you were able to implement the change swiftly, a quality that is uncommon. I commend you for your ability to adapt.

Given your own capacity for rapid change and the potential benefits thereof, you are inclined to facilitate the swift transformation of other family members who exhibit similar tendencies.

It is evident that there are few individuals who possess the capacity to alter their habits with such rapidity. There is a popular adage that posits the two most challenging endeavors in existence are to place one's own thoughts into the minds of others and to redirect the financial resources of others into one's own possession. The endeavor you have undertaken is the most challenging of these, and thus, when you are unable to attain your desired outcome, the resulting pain is particularly acute.

What, then, are the appropriate responses to this challenging situation? I will proceed to present my personal perspectives on the matter.

Firstly, it is important to accept the existence of this situation within your family unit. It is understandable that you wish for your family to experience the benefits of this change, which in turn leads to greater expectations of them changing. It is unclear how much energy you initially invested in attempting to bring about this change, but it is crucial to recognise that individuals are inherently different and that your own experiences cannot be directly applied to your family members. In particular, mothers within the family have been performing these tasks for many years. It is uncertain whether your mother has ever been reprimanded for her actions, but if she has not been confronted and has a child who is pointing fingers at her, she may not perceive it as a significant issue. It is important to acknowledge that we are different in many ways. This habit you have observed may be prevalent in many families. It is not unique to your family; there are numerous individuals who exhibit similar behaviours. Given that this is a common habit, it is essential to accept the current state of your family and not take it too seriously.

Secondly, it is important to avoid rushing your family members to change their habits. Instead, focus on your own actions and behaviour, setting an example for others to follow. As you have already initiated a positive change and developed a healthy habit, it is essential to maintain a positive outlook and strive for excellence in all aspects of your life. Take pride in being the only family member who has adopted this beneficial practice. Continue to incorporate it into your daily routine, and your family will gradually adopt it as well. They may not be able to change overnight, but with consistent effort, they will eventually make progress. To illustrate this concept, consider your younger brother. You have acknowledged that he may revert to his previous habits if you are not vigilant. This is a common challenge when attempting to change habits, and it is normal to experience setbacks. However, with patience and persistence, he will eventually make progress. It is crucial to recognise these small victories and maintain a positive outlook. In summary, when it comes to influencing your family members to change their habits, it is essential to be patient and focus on your own actions. By setting a positive example and consistently demonstrating your commitment to the change, you can pave the way for your family members to follow suit.

It is imperative that you enhance your capacity for dullness. As previously stated, your perceptivity is a commendable quality. However, it is equally important to cultivate a certain degree of dullness. What I am about to suggest may be a source of discomfort, but it is, in fact, a fundamental truth. It is essential to refrain from dwelling on these issues and instead focus on the task at hand: nourishing your body.

As long as the child is eating and remains healthy, and as long as the mother reports that the child drools when eating, the behavior is likely age-appropriate. With time, the child may outgrow this problem, and it is important to provide a supportive environment for their development. In other words, fostering a sense of dullness is crucial. If the child's sensitivity is heightened, it is likely that they will not be bothered by their mother and brother's eating habits.

As long as they are content with the quantity of food they are consuming, that is an acceptable outcome.

One might posit that the advent of the New Year presents a multitude of opportunities for enjoyment. Food, it can be argued, plays an essential role in nourishing our families, which is a profoundly positive aspect of life. As long as the individual in question maintains an open mouth while eating and exhibits enjoyment of the meal, it is reasonable to conclude that their actions will be met with approval.

As an individual who is approaching adulthood, you possess the capacity to alter your established routines and behaviors. Your conviction in this concept indicates that you are capable of making swift and effective changes.

I thus wish you an early emancipation from this predicament and the enjoyment of the beauty of family life.

I extend my affection to the world and to you.

Hello!

After reading your question, you said that you cannot accept your family members eating with their mouths open. You can totally understand my feelings and emotions!

When we were young, someone taught us that it is impolite and bad to eat with our mouths open. This led to us developing a cognitive understanding that we should reject such behavior and practices in ourselves. When others have such behavior and practices, we will not accept them either, which can lead to some psychological discomfort. This is a great opportunity for us to learn and grow! We can hope that they can do things according to our cognitive understanding, but in fact, everyone has their own ideas. This is a chance for us to make suggestions and learn about other people's practices and ideas.

I've got some great advice for you!

(1) Embrace the unique practices of your family members!

Each family has its own unique perceptions and traditional ideas, which is what makes the world such a fascinating place! We can't expect everyone to do things the way we want them to. If we want the other person to do things a certain way, we're actually controlling their thoughts and actions. So, it's perfectly normal for the other person to do things their own way!

(2) To discover the incredible meaning behind eating with our mouths open!

We all have this amazing need to have our needs met by others! It's because we attach a certain meaning to things, and that meaning may not be a good one. So we force others, but we also want to understand that this is only for us, and we also need this meaning to understand our inner self!

(3) Learn to separate issues and understand everyone's approach.

Everyone has a different perspective and thinks differently, which is great because it means we can all approach problems in our own unique way. It's important to recognize our own problems and understand why others approach theirs in a different way. When we learn to understand and accept others, it makes it easier to solve the problem!

Wishing you the very best!

The questioner, The present is good! Be grateful for the encounter.

From reading your description, it's clear you're struggling to change your family. You're also resentful and angry about the lack of communication. You think it's obvious that it's for their own good, so why won't they listen to you and communicate with you?

"Really? Then let's talk about this.

1. No one likes to be changed.

You changed the habit because someone important to you when you were a child mentioned it to you. If someone who is not very important to you, such as your parents, mentioned it to you, you would change.

Put yourself in their shoes and you'll see why you can't make your mother change. The "important people" here are those who influence you and have strong convictions.

It does not mean that you are not important to your parents.

Let's be real, no one likes to be changed. For them to change means that they admit they are wrong, and we all want to be right, so we are not willing to change easily. The reality is that unless someone we really recognize and are convinced by points out to us and lets us know the bad things about this habit, or we learn the bad things about this habit ourselves, we will not be willing to change on our own initiative.

2. Your problem comes from within, not from your family.

You changed the habit because someone who was important to you when you were a child mentioned it to you. What about before they mentioned it to you?

I want to know if this is something you're bothered by. Before, you didn't seem to care because it's a habit in your family.

You may think everyone does it the same way, so it's no big deal. Or perhaps you haven't even considered it.

This habit is now a source of immense frustration for you. It's clear that you're constantly feeding this behavior with your attention. You're deeply disgusted with this habit and the emotions it evokes. In the past, this behavior had no effect on you.

The behavior is still the same, but you are bothered by it. You have changed, but nothing has changed.

Your inner interpretation of this behavior is that you find it very uncomfortable. You need to see that what you need to change is yourself, how you make yourself more comfortable, and how you view this matter to make yourself more indifferent.

This habit isn't good, but it's not significant. Maybe your family members were told off when they were eating out and felt bad, so they changed their words and deeds on purpose. Even if they don't change, it doesn't affect other people or break the law or moral standards. It's just their habit. If you insist on correcting them, you'll suffer.

3. You're just pretending to be considerate.

You want your family members to change this habit, ostensibly for their own good, but it's really an expression of your intolerance and disapproval of them. Everyone has their own habits, and they're not going to change to suit you.

If you get married in the future, your partner will have more habits that are different from yours because he comes from another original family. You can't expect him to change them all at once. These habits have been with each person for many years, and it is not easy to change them overnight.

If you can accept them, you won't have these emotions inside you and you won't feel bad.

Mr. Huang Shiming was right when he said, "No one wants to change unless they are accepted and allowed to remain the same." It's about time we accepted each other without forcing compatibility.

If you want your family to change, they need to realize the benefits of change and the drawbacks of their current behavior. This cannot be achieved simply by reasoning with them. They need to experience and feel the inappropriateness of their current behavior internally, and only then will they take the initiative to change.

We will eventually discover that we cannot change anyone, but we can influence others. Be yourself and let them feel the enjoyment of your state. Don't force them to change; they'll only feel uncomfortable.

When someone is emotional, it is impossible to convince them of anything, no matter how reasonable the argument. Even if they know it's wrong, if you make them feel uncomfortable, they will argue with you.

I am confident that my answer is helpful, and I wish you the best!

Happy New Year!

Hello, I'm Strawberry.

While it is not harmful, smacking one's lips while eating is a form of table manners. A person's manners reflect their education and the people they have been in contact with.

The questioner told her mother that everyone in the family smacks their lips while eating. Her mother's response was that it's no big deal. This is her attitude. When she heard her reply like this, she knew that she was not willing to change herself, nor did she feel that this would have any impact on her.

They are not far-sighted enough.

The questioner has already informed the family about their habit of smacking their lips, but they have not yet acknowledged it. While his younger brother briefly attempted to change, his parents' continued indifference has shaped his perception that this behavior is normal and acceptable.

The family only eats together during normal times, so no one comments on the questioner's parents' behavior. They are unaware of the issue with their smacking of their lips. They do not know that these table manners are important in some situations.

For example, if the questioner and his younger brother start dating and their parents have dinner together, the other family will see them smacking their lips and their impression will be greatly reduced. Developing some etiquette for certain occasions also adds points to your image and makes it less likely that you will expose your vulgarity and low level of cultural education.

Lead by example.

Parents are role models for their children. The questioner knows that smacking his lips is an uncivilized behavior and can change it himself. He also wants to change this behavior in his family. The most critical change in the family is the parents. Even if they don't change, they also influence the questioner and his younger brother.

The younger brother also said that he couldn't do it when the older brother wasn't watching him. The older brother can supervise the younger brother, but he can't keep an eye on him all the time. The younger brother can't do it on his own and needs the older brother to remind him. This method of change is ineffective.

Parents must set a good example to get their younger brother to stop this behavior. If he learns these civilized etiquette habits from observing his parents, he will no longer rely on constant reminders.

Change the method.

His brother's behavior indicates that he can change. In fact, it is not difficult to get rid of smacking. With the right method, the question asker can also use his own power to change his parents.

1. Publicity: Show your parents similar examples of the impact of smacking their lips. Don't give up. They need to see this over and over until they realize their own behavior is similar to the smacking of other people's lips. Talk to your parents about the impact of smacking their lips in various situations. Let them think about it for themselves. Be careful with the tone of voice and don't accuse them.

2. Video recording: Record your family members eating and play the video when there is less background noise. This will allow them to hear the sounds they make when eating. We don't pay attention to these sounds when we eat because our attention is drawn elsewhere. Hearing these sounds at other times will make them reflect on the fact that smacking their lips is actually so unpleasant.

3. Learning: You should involve your family in more formal occasions, such as going to a Western restaurant for dinner. When everyone else is very particular about table manners, and they are exposed to such occasions more often, they will learn to close their mouths when eating and not talk loudly while eating, which will lead to smacking their lips.

This behavior can be improved and changed through perseverance. I am confident that my answer will be helpful to the questioner. Good luck!

Hello, my dear friend! I give you a big, warm hug from the bottom of my heart.

It can be tough to see other people do things differently, especially when it's something you're not used to.

I've been in this situation before, too! It can be tough to watch someone eat like this at the table, especially with more than one person. I'm always a little worried that they'll talk while eating and drop food in their mouths.

So, when we eat together, I simply eat with my head buried in my hands and say as little as possible. Fortunately, we don't eat together every day, which makes it a little easier!

So I didn't even mention it. After all, it's someone else's habit, and I'm not in a position to ask someone to change because it makes me uncomfortable.

I totally get how tough this is for you. You want your mom and brother to change because, when it comes to table manners, this way of eating might make other people feel uncomfortable, give a bad impression, and even affect work, study, etc.

Your brother is still young, so table manners will have a greater impact on him.

I know it can be tough, but for your mom, these habits have been a part of her life for so long. It's not easy to change something that's become so natural to her. But don't worry, it's not impossible!

But if you, as her daughter and the younger generation, ask her to change, it might be a bit of a challenge to her authority as an elder.

It's natural for parents to feel superior and authoritative over their children. When you ask your mom to change her habits, she might not think about whether the habit is good or not. She might even think, "You don't like me?" or "How dare you, sweetheart, tell me off?" This will make her defensive, and she'll probably say "No."

It's totally normal to want to protect ourselves when we're rejected or blamed by others. It's also normal to want to deny what the other person said when we feel that way.

So, your mom isn't going to change, and she might even make things seem worse than they are to show who's in charge. You can't ask her to change unless her behavior is causing problems for other people, like affecting her work relationships and so on. Then, she might change.

If you say she won't change, she won't change, and she won't lose anything, I agree with you.

My advice for your mom is to accept her behavior and her unwillingness to change. You're already 15 or 17 years old, basically in high school, so just bear with it for a while, then go to college and leave home.

You should definitely study hard and work on improving yourself!

As for your brother, he's just starting elementary school, which is so exciting! He'll see you and mom arguing, and at this time, he'll most likely take mom's side. There's no reason for this, though. It's only natural for children to take their mother's side, especially when they're so young.

And your brother is still so young, and he will still have a long time to spend with his mother every day. It can be tough to change someone when they're still so young, but you'll get there!

It's okay, sweetie. Even if you have the best intentions, you can only let things be. This may be his destiny. Or, it may be a problem that your brother will have to solve in the future, and there's nothing you can do to help him now.

He's still so young, bless him, and he doesn't yet realize that he has some shortcomings. He just instinctively identifies with his mother.

I've been thinking about this a lot, and I feel like I'm at a loss. It's so hard when you're in your situation and you don't have the power to make your mom and brother change, even if you have the best of intentions.

You can do it! Accept, respect, ignore, and then improve yourself. Leave the family. Leave the rest to time. You've got this!

You can also talk to a counselor if you'd like.

I'm a counselor who is often Buddhist and sometimes pessimistic, but I try to be positive and motivated when I can. I love the world and I love you!

Hello, I'm a Heart Exploration coach. I can help you with this. It seems like your family members aren't willing to change their habit of chewing food with their mouths open. What can you do?

When your family eats, they all like to open their mouths and chew their food. When you were young, someone close to you mentioned it to you, and you changed and stopped chewing with your mouth open. Later, you realized that it made you feel uncomfortable to hear your family chew with their mouths open.

You mentioned it to your mother, suggesting that she stop chewing with her mouth open. She said she couldn't change, and when you asked her twice more, she refused to change her habit because she didn't think it was a big deal. You thought your mother was really strange, and you got angry and scared, so you didn't dare mention it again.

You also gave your younger brother some advice, hoping that he would close his mouth when eating. You think that children are easy to change their behavior from a young age and won't become accustomed to it like adults do. However, your brother didn't change for long and went back to his old ways.

Now he not only opens his mouth and chews, but he also makes the sound of saliva, which makes you feel uncomfortable when you listen to it. It's not ideal, but you have to hear it every day because you still have to eat together every day. He also eats snacks like potato chips next to you, which makes you feel bad.

Now, when you talk to him, he just looks at you without responding. One day, you suddenly noticed that he doesn't even respond when you talk to him anymore. You can't even communicate with him anymore. After you said that, you noticed that if you don't keep an eye on him, he won't stop eating with his mouth closed.

1⃣️ Your distress

I can see that you have a lot of concerns about your relationships with your family. Right now, the main issue is that you find it difficult to cope with your family members chewing with their mouths open, even though you've tried to stop yourself from doing the same.

You want to change your family's habit of chewing with their mouths open, and you've tried hard to suggest that they change. It may be because you fundamentally disagree with your family's habit of chewing with their mouths open, so since you've changed, you can't stand to see and hear your family's behavior. You feel very uncomfortable, and you can't escape from it even though you are together every day.

My mother's attitude is that she's not willing to change because she doesn't think her actions will have a negative impact. She doesn't think she needs to change, she approves of the habit of chewing with her mouth open, and she accepts this habit that she's developed over the years.

Your younger brother is more likely to change, but he needs your repeated reminders. Plus, in your family's general environment, your mother chews with her mouth open, and the other family members also maintain this behavior. You're exposed to this every day, which will continue to affect your younger brother. After listening to you many times, he gets tired of it and stops responding to you. He continues to maintain his old habits, and you want to change the behavior of your family members but can't.

So you feel uncomfortable and painful. The root cause of your pain is that

You try to change others, but you can't. You can't change others, and you can't escape this environment that you feel uncomfortable in and have to face every day. This makes you feel very painful. This is the conflict and conflict within you.

2⃣️ Projection

Psychologist Wu Zhihong explains the psychological term projection, which means:

How you treat others reflects your inner self.

How others treat you reflects their inner world. This is called projection.

Projection means that we show the parts of ourselves that we don't like or want to others. We reflect others, and they reflect us too. How we treat others shows what's going on inside us.

The questioner has always chewed with his mouth open since childhood and has never felt any pain because you never thought it was a bad thing. However, someone important gave advice that influenced you to change your behavior. You now think that chewing with your mouth closed is the right way to do it.

At the same time, you also say that you won't do what you've always done, which is chew with your mouth open. You think that chewing with your mouth open is bad and wrong, and from now on, you won't accept the behavior of chewing with your mouth open.

You don't like this behavior, but you like your family members, and you want them to be like you. You want them to change the behavior you think is bad and develop good habits. So when your family members open their mouths and chew, you feel uncomfortable and unable to accept it because you associate the behavior you disapprove of with bad thoughts.

3⃣ Learn to recognize your emotions and thoughts.

What does the questioner feel like in this situation? They can try to express it to themselves using emotional words, such as disgust, aversion, shame, anger, annoyance, etc., to recognize what it is like to experience their discomfort.

When you see a family member open their mouth to chew something, what kind of negative emotions do you have? When these negative emotions arise, ask yourself, "What do you think?"

The cognitive behavioral school of thought says that everyone has different perceptions and evaluations of the same thing, which makes everyone feel and react differently.

Your mother doesn't think there's anything wrong with opening your mouth and chewing, and she's not going to change her habits, so she just keeps on doing it.

Your brother sometimes sees your point about opening your mouth and chewing, so he'll change a little. But kids have less self-control than adults, so it's unlikely he'll change completely. He'll probably keep being influenced by people who open their mouths and chew, and he'll think there's nothing wrong with it, so he'll keep doing it.

You don't like the idea of opening your mouth and chewing something. You may feel disgust and aversion. You may associate these behaviors with bad thoughts, which is why you find them unbearable to watch, listen to, and feel. Your behavior is an attempt to change the behavior of your family members, and you feel so miserable that you want to escape.

When you feel bad, you can ask yourself, "What was my thought process here?"

Given the changes you've made, how can you accept your family maintaining the same behavior?

How do the actions of your family members affect you?

What are your thoughts on this behavior?

What does it mean to eat with your mouth open, and what does it mean to eat with your mouth shut?

If you can't change your family's behavior, how do you make yourself feel better? What coping strategies can you use?

Learning to recognize your emotions and thoughts will help you become more aware of yourself, understand yourself, and re-evaluate your changes.

I hope you can get your troubles sorted out soon. If you need to talk to me some more, you can click below to find a coach to chat with, or ask a question. You can also chat with a HeartExplorer to talk to me one-on-one. Good luck!

Hello, my name is Jialan.

I hope that by sharing my experience, I can be of some help to you.

Firstly, with regard to the habits of our mother and younger brother, we suggest that they consider modifying behaviours that we feel are inappropriate in our worldview, from the perspective of being good to our family. This could be a good starting point for you.

Next, let's consider how we might approach changing someone's habits. It's a complex issue. It seems that yours was triggered by a specific point.

We can communicate with our mother and younger brother in a playful and endearing way because home is a place of love.

For instance, we could consider using our mother's concerns to motivate her and using words that praise her to guide her in making corrections. The same approach could be taken with our younger brother. As long as the methods are effective and done with love and harmony, we may be able to fix their behavior and have a good time doing it.

From their perspective, their actions don't seem to be causing harm to themselves or others. It's understandable that they may be reluctant to change, and this could potentially be damaging relationships with others.

It is worth noting that if one pushes someone too hard, they may become resistant to further input. Similarly, if one pushes someone, they may become defensive.

We respect our mother's authority and motivate our younger brother with love, which helps to create a relaxed and enjoyable atmosphere.

Finally, there are also many ways to adjust to the points that are difficult for yourself. For example, you can try amplifying such sounds in your mind and playing them. You can also transform them into your favorite music because the remote control for this adjustment is in your hands. You have the option to make the sounds more bothersome or to make them more pleasant to the ear.

I would like to take this opportunity to wish you a happy Spring Festival and good health and happiness in the year ahead.

Hello, my name is Liu Quanyan, and I'm a psychological counselor and heart exploration coach. I hope you're having a great year and that the new year is treating you well so far!

I totally get where you're coming from. We all have different living habits, and it can be pretty uncomfortable when they're different from those around us. It can lead to a lot of internal and interpersonal conflicts. We can get pretty frustrated, and it can be hard to understand why these things happen. When we were teenagers, it was tough to persuade our parents to change our family's habits, right? I'm not perfect, and my views and suggestions have their limits, but I really hope I can offer you some perspective. You've got this! Be brave and determined to grow up.

1. Opening your mouth to eat, even making slurping sounds, or drooling, is actually a habit, and correcting this habit is not difficult. What is difficult is that everyone's attitude towards this habit is different. Because we hold different attitudes, we will have different psychological positions, which is totally normal!

I can imagine that the first thing that crosses your mind is why no one in the family, big or small, has been persuaded to do the opposite, since the reform costs are not great.

Oh, goodness! This should not have been a confrontation.

It's like a friendly debate!

From your perspective, you're a very perceptive person who's open to other perspectives. Even though you used to eat with your mouth open, when someone close to you told you that this habit wasn't ideal, you were able to make adjustments. You've come to recognize that this is also a form of social etiquette and a way of showing respect for others. You understand the value of developing good habits early on.

And the habits of the people around you are very different from yours. It can be tough when your family's behavior affects your life and makes you feel uncomfortable and difficult.

From your mom's perspective, she's been eating this way for decades, and no one has ever told her to change it. To her, this habit is no big deal. She's happy with her quality of life, her relationships, her work, and her career.

That's why her mom said, "It's no big deal." It's not that she can't change, but she just doesn't feel the need to.

From your brother's perspective, it may seem that the younger the child, the easier it is for them to adjust their habits. But in fact, he doesn't understand why he has to do it, poor thing!

It's also really important to remember that young children are super sensitive to the different attitudes of family authority. He's not going to change his mind about anything, and now that he's an older brother or sister and you're his mum, he'll probably feel really confused about the different views you two have on the same thing.

He's also watching and learning, but he's still young and doesn't fully understand the importance of this. He thinks he should listen to his mom but also have some freedom, and your rules are a little more relaxed than his mom's, which has led to the current situation.

I'm sure we can all agree that the key to this game is...

It can be tough for folks with different views to admit when they're wrong. They might try to prove they're right with words or actions. So, you might find your mom is a bit indifferent, and your brother is acting out more.

It's totally normal to want to change your family members' habits. They're trying to influence you too!

2. You seem like a very mature person, based on your description. I think the key to this matter is that you're feeling some psychological pressure because of it.

It can be a bit uncomfortable when people around you are eating with their mouths open while you're eating with yours open. It's totally normal to have different habits in a family, and it's important to respect each other's boundaries.

Absolutely! Even among family members, it's important to set boundaries. If some family member's habits are affecting your mood when eating, we really hope that they'll be able to see their own discomfort and that you'll be understood and respected.

(1) I think what we're really hoping for when we say we feel uncomfortable is that our family members can offer some cooperation and assistance.

Everyone has their own habits and their own sensitive areas. Some friends get scared when they hear thunder, while others feel physically and mentally uncomfortable when they hear someone slurping at the dinner table. It's totally fine if it's just classmates and colleagues, after all, they're not together every day.

The family should be a place where we feel most relaxed. I truly believe you are not a selfish person. I think you just want to reduce your anxiety.

I think that when you encounter such "resistance," it's probably because you're feeling a little down and frustrated.

(2) You want your brother to change, not just because you find it annoying to listen to, but also because you feel a sense of responsibility as the eldest child.

Think about all the wonderful things you learned from that special person in your life. Think about all the amazing things you learned from them, and think about how important it is to be yourself and to have your own personal habits. When you go to school and start living in society, you'll see that these eating and drinking habits will also influence how people see you.

You understand this, which is why you want your brother to develop good habits too. You don't want to indulge him because you want him to have good habits too! But children can be rebellious.

3. Based on your situation, I would love to make the following suggestions:

(1) I totally get it. I know it can be scary to talk to your mom, but if you're open to trying, you can change the way you communicate with her and then talk to your family. Your mom is a great role model, and if she sees that you're willing to work through this, it might help your brother too.

I have a little suggestion for you. It would be really helpful if you could change the focus of your communication into two parts. The first part is that you feel very anxious about this, which affects your state of mind. At the beginning, you can tell your mother that you understand that this is a trivial matter of living habits. Then, you can explain that you are therefore uncomfortable and you have tried to suppress it, but you are always very nervous.

It's totally understandable that you're feeling confused. It's so great that you're hoping your family can help you. I know you're trying to close your mouth and chew at home as much as possible to relieve your anxiety. When you're communicating, you can be gentle instead of strongly demanding from them.

This will help make it easier to negotiate.

I know it might not work, but you can definitely try!

(2) When chatting with your little brother, it'd be great if you could help him understand why it's not a good idea to do this. He might be a bit rebellious because of all the interruptions and strict supervision, and might even do it on purpose.

Before you do anything, it's a good idea to talk to your parents. It's important to remember that this is not just about you, but also about your younger brother. Even though it's just a small habit, your younger brother will have to interact with different people as he grows up. You could say that you heard it from a teacher or in a class. When you're eating out in the future, you'll also want to be mindful of your manners. Not slurping and not chewing loudly is a simple way to show respect and make a good impression on others. This is something your younger brother can learn too.

It might be a good idea to have a chat with your parents and explain that changing this habit could really help your child. They might then be more open to adjusting their perception.

Then, when you're talking to your brother, you can first try to make him more open to what you have to say. For example, you could buy him some snacks or small gifts to show him you care. Then, when he's feeling calmer and more relaxed, you can gently explain that you didn't mean to be so harsh with him, but that you just want him to do better. Use analogies to talk to him, for example, everyone likes polite children. When you're in class, if you're eating with your classmates, do you eat with a loud voice and open mouth, or do you drool a lot? Things like that.

In addition to punishment (such as reprimands), you can also establish a reward system as a way to cultivate behavior. You can try communicating with your brother. If he does well, is better than before, or is quieter and more polite, you can try praising him and giving him some rewards.

Let him know that this will get him some encouragement, and he'll be so happy!

Remember, you're a teenager. It's normal if things don't go as you'd like. You've done a great job, and you're already amazing. If things are tricky to change right now, just take care of yourself first.

It's totally normal to not always get things right. We all find ourselves in tricky situations sometimes, especially when we're dealing with adults in the family or kids who are younger than us. If mediation doesn't help, it's OK to take care of your own emotional needs.

If you feel aggrieved, you can always talk to someone you trust or a professional teacher. Even if it's just to talk things out, it's better than bottling it up!

You are already an independent person, and it is difficult to change others. It is already very remarkable that you can maintain yourself without being changed. If they continue to eat like this, you can silently tell yourself, "I want to eat my own food well," and try to focus your attention on your own food. Try not to look at their actions as much as possible, and when you feel uncomfortable, try to take a deep breath on your own initiative. You've got this!

If you still can't change your brother, don't worry! You can also try to reduce the probability of being irritated. For example, when your brother is snacking, you can distract yourself by going to your room to listen to some music or read a book.

We all want to change sometimes, but it's not always easy. It can be really painful when we can't. It's also important to remember that everyone is different. One way to build resilience is to try to focus on ourselves, without letting other people's actions affect us.

You have your own wonderful life!

I just wanted to let you know that in the future, you will also have your own world.

That's all I've got to say on the matter.

Please, don't hesitate to talk to me, ask questions, and analyze and assess the situation through the channels of confiding and exploring the heart. I'm here for you and I sincerely wish you well.